Safeway weekly ad

TLDR: Email that I (41/f) sent to my spouse (41/m) today (not legally married; had ceremony and big wedding without filing pw) who has been basically living as a single man. I am in recovery; he is an active substance abuser. I recently found a hidden stash of coke and other items (not the first time) and we no longer sleep together. I have two kids (teens) from a previous marriage; we share one very young child. We have been together for 13 years; “married” for 6. He travels for work and spends most weekends at our cabin, so is not physically present at home often = why I email. He is very successful at his job; I am working pt from home and in school ft (also from home).
Side note: I’m not sure why I’m posting here (and this is a throwaway acct – my real one is attached to my real name which is so stupid), but I think I am looking for…discussion or a sense of community and that I’m not alone. Thank you for reading, if you do.
Dear Spouse,
I’d like to try to share with you what is going on in my head and heart while we navigate this situation, and I know it is going to be long and peppered with anecdotal examples, but I would really appreciate it if you would read it and give it some thought.
Yesterday was raw and rough for me. I was glad we weren’t here when you left, and I spent the day fighting back tears and trying to force myself to eat. That is my current state.
When we got married, I remember praying with the pastor after going over more details, and I felt this sense of peace and commitment – not just to you and for you, but commitment to the idea that we were choosing to map out our lives on this earth together. There is a profound sense of safety in that idea – that we know that life is hard and can filled with obstacles and grief, but that you will overcome these times with someone at your side…essentially that you are not alone. I think that is the most devastating feeling, being alone, and it is one that crept in often yesterday and has been bubbling up for me in my quiet moments. I know there is some greater discussion there (we are never alone/all of us are alone, really), but for the sake of mapping out one’s life, that sense of relief was there for me on that day. It was like, “finally, I have found my person, my honey, and we are doing this”. I have come to embrace the idea that the decision to form a union like that, marriage, is not one that is completed just once. We are consistently faced with that decision throughout the rest of our lives here – am I going to honor this partnership? And I think that is where trust is so important. We make the decision, yes, but we are also trusting that our partner is also making that same decision, again and again. The reasons that we do this might change. It is often for love, but sometimes the decision is for the greater family – we decide to honor our union in order to not disrupt their lives. Maybe some days, weeks, or years it is because we know that love like this is an ebbing and flowing force – that it might not be fireworks all of the time, but you know that the excitement of truly connecting will come back. Sometimes the decision is out of laziness. We stay because it is easier than leaving.
Today, I know my reasons for staying which are independent from you. I know why I have continued to make the decision to honor the original decision we made when we were on that beach, and there is a strong pull within me to protect and nurture the kids and their worldview, sense of consistency and peace/safety, and to show them that relationships are not disposable. Their ability to self-reflect and to respect themselves enough to truly respect others, I hope, will be inspired by my process and example. I feel resolved in my decision for this reason, but there is no trust that you are doing the same or have been. This is where the heartache and sickness develop. I wonder if I’ve made a mistake in believing that you had the same sense of respect for what we had been trying to accomplish, if you’ve given up long ago without telling me, and I’ve wasted time, tears, and energy for a union that was only in my head.
And you were right to say that you couldn’t deal with this (me, the family, the union) while you also try to deal with that (the drugs, the alcohol, the cheating[?]), and this is absolutely true. Yet, I don’t see you fully taking the helm at addressing your addiction(s). You take a few days where you “don’t drink as much” and you “know that you need to stop all that other stuff”, and that is like saying there is a giant pile of actual shit in your living room and instead of figuring out where the shit is coming from and getting help to clean it up, you put a blanket over it and say that you’re working on it because you haven’t shat on the floor yourself for two days. Then the weekend arrives and it’s a giant orgy of you and others shitting everywhere, and then we are back in the same place. You need to make an actual appointment and begin the process of addressing this. You need support. You need guidance to work out the reasons behind the addictions. It is a process and I know first-hand that it will not happen overnight, but at least you’ll be on the road. I gave you the ketamine therapy resources because I thought this approach would be easier for you than going in somewhere and biting the bullet. I don’t believe that you’ve given that any thought at all; nor do I think you are serious about doing this or any therapy. This needs to happen, and you need to just swallow whatever is standing in the way of you doing this (I will even help you to set up an initial consult; I am volunteering to support you in doing the right thing in any way that I can) because whatever happens with us, you being consistent and healthy and off substances and not in danger of withdrawal symptoms needs to happen for you parenting [young child]. So, yes. Step one is for you to jump in and become an active participant in getting this figured out and to a healthy place.
If you are in a healthy place and able to self-reflect truthfully, then I think that you will have clarity regarding us and your hopes/needs for the future. I have told you that I will continue to honor us and be patient while you get to that place of clarity and peace regarding you and me, but I can’t do this knowing that you are spinning your wheels and refusing to move or even give me peace of mind regarding your fidelity. It is past the behaviors of addiction and enters into what looks like pure selfishness to me. You have your life of drugs and alcohol and whatever else with whomever else on one side, then you have me and a beautiful family set aside on the other. There is no impetus to change anything because you’ve been doing this for so long and nothing “bad” has happened other than my struggle in the past and me entering recovery. You haven’t been charged with anything or arrested yet, the cardiovascular damage you are doing has not reared its head yet, and I did not leave so our family is not broken yet. You continue to skate by and provide the basic framework of everything we need, except it is under your control/your oversight (which would be fine if there was equality in the future), but you yourself remain absent from the set-up. I raise and nurture the family; you pay the bills and do whatever you want to the extent of illegal drugs and cheating on me. The cognitive dissonance that you must feel with this, I think, is a portion of the “thickness” you feel when you’re at home. How do you reconcile it? I know I can’t.
So I try not to allow myself to go down rabbit holes – it is self-destructive. The thoughts of cheating are the worst, and I have to stop myself from wondering where and who and how often and if I am more of an idiot than I realized. The pipe-thing I found was another destructive path. Each day there are minefields that I mentally try to navigate, and each day there is silence or formality from you. You check in to see how [youngest] is doing. There is no further insight or sharing about anything non-surface about yourself, nor is there curiosity about anyone else. If you are home, I make you food and clean up and do your laundry and pick up discarded sunflower seeds and flossers and continue to manage the kids, and you ignore me and never touch me, and that is fine because you have this other life that drowns out the noise from how wrong this is. I spend these days and nights – the ones where you are home – half feeling relieved that at least I know you’re safe and half feeling like I could scream at any moment. I cry at night when the kids are asleep and wonder why I am not enough for you, why I continue to wait and hope when all evidence is showing me that you are not in this in a real way, why am I not good enough/worth real love from you, what options I have if I leave, if I will be able to forgive myself for allowing [kids’] family to fracture by finally doing something in the presence of your inaction. It gets more complicated when I think of how this would work out in practice and what assurances I have that [youngest] would be safe and happy with broken, separate holidays and scheduled parenting time. In the middle of the night, I think about how I could get a full-time job and not totally screw up his early years by making that type of huge change for him, if I should fast-track my graduation and postpone grad school or just not get my master’s, if I should fast-track and then work hard on trying to get a remote job or, or, or… The myriad of paths is complex; the gravity of my decisions – how they affect others – is ever-present. It is a horrible place to be in: confident of my ability and trustworthiness and love, attached to a person who is unable to provide me the same basic honor.
With [my previous ex-husband], this was all cut and dry. He was not self-aware enough or honest enough about his sexuality when we married and had the twins. That all came to light when they were just babies, my family was here to help me with childcare so I could work, and he is gay. It was still horrible, but I knew I needed to leave, and I did it. He and I have been able to re-establish a type of friendship now, and I have constant confirmation that I did the right thing when I see his life and home with [his husband]. That, though, is not the case here. From a practical perspective, I no longer have family here, they’ve all moved, I only work part-time because I am full-time parenting and have no way of making enough money to support a separate home without putting [youngest] in daycare (thus adding a minimum of $2k/month as an additional cost, not to mention him then being raised by others/having a huge transition and disruption), and until he’s in kindergarten, making a move right now would be traumatic because I would need to change everything in his life. From a mental/emotional perspective, you loved me once and are not gay and we promised each other that we would do this together no matter what at one time, so if we both decided and continued to decide, then there is hope, and if there is hope, then I don’t want to be the one to make that final separation a reality and knowingly invite that trauma and confusion into [the kids’] life story.
So, I write to you. Plead with you. Tearfully become vulnerable with you. Remain committed to my sobriety and path. Raise the family. Cry at night. Rinse/repeat.
Today I went to the smoke shop to get a new vape, and [the older kids] watched [youngest]. I was out, walking down the alley, breathing the air and feeling the rain, remembering pieces of me that are still alive, listening to one of my new favorite songs, not being the mom for a few minutes, and thinking about all of this. A guy came into the shop not long after me, and we had a small discussion over vape flavors. He was around our age and was funny and kind; made good eye contact and gave an overall sincere and kind impression. I walked out feeling happier just for the simple fact that a man gave me two minutes of sincere and kind attention. Like maybe I’m still attractive and worth talking to; maybe I’m not “a great mom, just not compatible,” or “a great mom, but doesn’t like any of the things I like and is boring”. I had a brief, intrusive thought: What if I gave him my phone number. It would be a meet-cute. Two single people connecting over a shared love of melon blast; blending our families and picking up vapes for each other. What if it could be that easy? We’d juggle monotony and boredom and the stress and joy of family and just be there for each other no matter what, happy to have a honey. Then I think again: what if it could still be that easy, but with you? And then I think: but the ball is in your court and has been…if we were to get to a place of easy, loving connection, then you have to decide that. And of course, your substance use comes first. How long do I wait, fighting with my own body to keep weight on, crying at night alone, investing in school and being a present and positive force for the kids during the day? Will I be able to do this until he's in kindergarten? Will we be safe until then, given your choices? What if I do have to wait until then? I’ll be pushing 44 years old. 44 and starting over, from complete scratch, with three kids. I want to shake you for putting me here. I want to shake myself for allowing it.
I know that I have made mistakes. I have made decisions that do not align with me as a person, and those decisions hurt you and hurt the family. I also know that I have done everything I can to fight my own addiction and to remain consistent in establishing that I am trustworthy and capable. I have bitten the bullet, done the hard work, looked at my life and my actions and my mistakes and failures, and I am a work in progress – we all are, I think, until our dying day – but I also know that I have learned from my failures, and I have embraced those lessons. This is what I want for you. I want you to take this as an opportunity to make lasting, real, profound changes that make your life not only good but authentic. If you do this and we still do end up a broken family, at least you will be in a place of true health and clear determination, with no secrets, with the ability to look every single person in the eye and tell your truth. I think that is one of the bigger life lessons that we minimize and distort as human beings, but it is important and relates to the much bigger picture of why we are here and what we are meant to accomplish. We are meant to care for each other. We are meant to care for ourselves. We are meant to lead lives that are true to that inner sense of morality; we are meant to live in the peace that arrives when your actions and behavior align with who you are at your core, without shame.
Thank you if you’ve made it through this; I think I’m done for now but will probably keep emailing until something happens. I want to be open with you and I want you to know what is going on in my mind/world while you make periodic check-ins. If for no other reason, at least you are not ever surprised or have to wonder.
-Me.

This is becoming a federal case. Thoughts on firms that can handle this in Chicago? My best guess is Michael Oppenheimer Chicago Civil Rights Attorney any other idea post it here for consideration and why.
If you can describe any crimes from evidence provided here your find could improve the case against the police and county. More videos at the link but not al evidence available as WPD editing the evidence FBI has been notified FBI directs abuse and civil rights concerns to Hamilton Country IA and WPD.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/mycivilrights/permalink/9310827518958907/
Description from link.
^{Hey
GRAPHIC TRIGGER WARNING! \}This warning has ben ad at moderators request.]This was police fake arest and felony misconduct with WPD Westfield Indiana and the county on 07 18 2020 to 2021 case was dismied without prejudice. Yes I am safeish cat 1 homeless and sueing them.)
^{Why this matters is obvious defamation and that I did not do all of that work on my reputation and nothing on my record and not hitting this wackjob after every bipolar rant he has and threats for 2007 to 2020 just to have the police lie and say I did conveniently on his brhda right before I get to leave.
Story.
In 2007 I moved in with someone online in different state due to money issues that didnt tell me he had a murderous roomate and was then kept against my will by this man a bipolar psychopath ptsd sociopath 450 lbs morbidly obese 50 yo man with diabetes recent bariatric patient on 2 antipsychotics felon ex con for capitol offence extortion with threat of homicide was thron into mental institute for criminaly insane its on his record police kno that etc... had always been threatening me that if I leave he would make a false charge against me to protect himself from prosecution for kidnaping and atempt murder because roomate going to throw him out if I was to leave. The roomate want me to stay to replace him so roomate said oh your going to leave and fck me then by leaving me alone with him. I said didnt want anything to do with the guy and have nothing and have to get out of there.
Story Continued.
The acuser man threw all my clothes out and in 2010 to 2020 had fake swatting calls to the police telling them I would murder police and had a gun or one cal was that I was dancing naked in public in front of families or another was that I was threatening him with a murder video that if he didnt let me go I was going to send him to jail etc... all trying to get me arest on various false charges with a different story every tim.
04 10 2010 Phoenix police recordfake swatting call by acuser about officers in danger that I am armed with weapon and going to kill them so have their guns ready when arrive... That call 04 10 2010 Phoenix.2013 Westfield police recordfake insanity call by the man acuser about OCD and threats2016 Westfield police recordfake 911 call by the man acuser about me dancing naked in public in front of families atempt to get me arrest fails acuser calls police a bunch of fagots2018Witness kicks out the man acuser and is threatened with murder. Witness gets intoxicate and bashes head in. The Man calls police and sheriff comes into house and evaluates situation and sends witness to hospital then leaves.}
​
^{04 10 2020
begged the police to get me out of there that he was threatenening fake acusation if was to leave asked for detective and camera or ride out of there etc... officers denied.
06 10 2020The Mans sisters makes Human Traffiking call against acuser and roomate saying The Man molest her as a kid and is abusing males in his house WPD refuse the caller to WPD go into the home for welfre so they refuse to go into house and list acuser roomate and victim on the police report one of the officers from this sho up on scene in next call WPD tried to delete and remove this part from aresting officers cam video but forgot to edit it out of the other officers video.
On 07 18 2020
The police fake arrest. The evidence here is from this scene.The Man acuser brhda less than 2 weeks before I can leaveThe Man gets into argument and fight with roomate who was a intoxicate witness and during that fight and argument with he man abot money tells the man that I am going to leave in 2 weeks and get 100K inheritance and nothing the man can do to stop me and that witness roomate changed his mind abot me having to stay there against my wil and that he is going to assist me in doing so and wont deal with the mans threats anymore.
The man says I dont get to leave and that we are lying to him that I am not leaving in 2 weeks im leaving that wekend and trying to screw him on his brhda.
The man argues with the witness and the witness says dont plug in a computer cant handel that lethal amount of stres right now as he has high blod presure and a lethal stress diag by the VET and as the witness goes to rom the man did it anyway and didnt like me there witnessing it because makes him the bad guy then he attatckd me and tried to take my cloths off and shed them as usual before his fake police cals because he insanly wants me naked in front of the police because he is always caled a mental patient by roomate so wants me to be one but the witness was there and came out of rom and the man didnt know the witness was there as he was doing that to me and once found out the man got angry then called 911 says we ruin his brhda and says I picked him up off of the ground and full contact body slamed him to the ground and punched him in the face and threw a peor cord at him 100% BS.
The police arive I go out and change my destroyed clothes to the only par of clothes I had stashed let for my get away so that I wasnt completely naked as The Man intend and The Man angry with that informs 911 that I was doing so. I couldnt leave them on or the police would have been like WTF and forced me to go to the hospital and arest the guy and not what I want.
He was cleared of any injuries by medical on scene.
Westfield
The City of Westfield Indiana and WPD covered up what they believed to be Human Traffiking going on at 319 Park Westfield neighbor to the Sherrifs house who in 2019 list his house for 5 x its value at $1.2 Million because the YMCA was deciding to put a $35 Million facility there and would make everyone's house values go up and westfield has been trying to get the YMCA to build that 2018 to 2022 recently they offered YMCA $5 Million to build it the police kno that so WPD manufactured false evidence against me on camera pretending to be authentic and valid and coached a Intoxicate witness who was on parole for DUI to change his written statement to say he witness me battery a guy in a domestic dispute and it wasnt enough so she actualy changed the witnesses statement herself and signed her name to it and completely lied about everything that happened on scene including talking to another officer who told her he recently responded to a Human Traffiking call there less than a month prior.
Add Info
WPD also edited many of the cam videos silence parts and removed some completely including when she use their ID's and found out both were ex cons and removed completely the human trafiking video portion of her bodycam but they forgot about this officers video and left it in so you have the evidence.
She denied on reports that the conversation ever happened under felony perjury charges and that both felon ex con's statements acording backgrond on their ID were both and their statements credible and that she had no evidence or say so otherwise and that no other officer told her anything that would lead to believe otherwise. She shood that officer away intentionaly lying to him about fake drugs and aspergers claims 100% lies and silenced her bodycam repeadedly as asked him and other officers to do the same so what she says couldnt be heard by anyone later. Then in evidence her entire bodycam is silenced.
The Lawsuit
If anyone knows a Civil Rights atorney let me know I have contact the ACLU but they are too busy with other sht I guese and dont care about me. The YMCA still hasnt decide whether to put a facility there and in 2022 the City of Westfield offered $5 Million to them to get it going. The county also tried to murder me negligently at the jail and by forcing me to wheeler mission and hering judge after getting angry that I didnt asnwer yes or no to him gave me a lawyer who was practically disbarred for trying to have sex with his clients and his wife worked against me for the diversion part of the prosecutor's office who then voice mailed me and extorted me saying that she listened to my voice mails and emails to her husband and it didn't sound like I was too interested in pleading guilty to divert my case and if I did not hurry up and pay her $400 to divert my case that I could be convict of a crime.
I am going to sue the sht out of them all for this some guys in this group are from wheelers mission in Indianapolis that witnessed me being raped and abused in person in front of them and 250 other guys where the police forcibly drop me of at during a pandemic with no phone or trnsport or ID or job 45 miles from court. The nurses in the jail asked why I wasnt sitting in the medical cell I said because I have OCD and there is fecal everywhere and mold and I have open bleeding wound on my fet that they took pictures of and tel me if I didnt sit down in fecal matter and rust and mold in the cell that they would inject me with vitamins to pass out and I said thats not legal and they came back with more nurses and chemicles and they said because you have ocd then you wouldnt mind cleaning up the cell for us... BECUASE IF HAVE OCD I WOULDNT MIND CLEANING THE POTENTIONALY COVID 19 INFECT LETHAL FECES AND MOLD AND RUST.... FOR THEM not because I have a disorde no because I have a disorder I wouldnt mind doing it.. not for me but for them... That is attemt murder MF.
I am sueing WPD the city of westfield and hamiltn county in federal court as a user said to do. If you kno a civil rights atorny that is LGGBT let me kno because ACLU is useless and I have no money and am category 1 homeless. The statue of limitation is not over yet this happened in 07 18 2020 was homeless in wheelers until case got dismissed because of witness recanting story and accuser lying.
Here is some evidence for you I wouldnt make claims that couldnt be proven in and out of court by my atorneys.}
The officer coaches witness to change statement so say he directly witnesses battery and then thats not enough so she later edits the witnesses written statement herself and signs her name to that.
​
​
Whats that officer? human traffiking no this guys on drugs and insane cant prove it but go away from my scene.
​
​
The officer never mentions the men are both felon ex cons for extortion and witness is on parol for DUI also purposely forgets to mention acuser is bipolar psychopath sociopath with PTSD on 2 antipsychotics and recent bariatric patient also has dentures glasses and diabeties a fall could kill him but yet was injured and punched in the face and body slammed to the ground with no marks of any kind and cleared from medical also already caught by police lying about Aspergers and intoxicate witnesses story changing and suspect claiming kidnaping matching another officer that described human trafficking call by acusers sister.
​
https://preview.redd.it/dke4lwk7m5ra1.png?width=1202&format=png&auto=webp&s=66ae8902b3370b2737b7232f9d32f8402c3b45e8
​
​
This is felony perjury here or is it not.
This is also felony perjury or is it not.
This proves it to be a legal arrest the accuser and witness 100% credible got it or is it not you decide. Also a lot more happened at the jail than just an irregularity in the scan wouldnt you say.
You should blow up your car officer.
https://reddit.com/link/1282k0d/video/l0e9v8pkj5ra1/player

Got into civ VI a week ago and breezed through the deity ai a couple times already on standard settings, which is sad to me because I am a huge fan of the game's new features and encouragement of a wide empire, and the prioritization of military conquest that comes with it. Civ V's ai, although probably stupider in its mechanical decision making, would create units all game to zerg you down or make taking their cities semi challenging and rewarding (at least up until you finally overtook them in tech, where you got to enjoy the fruits of your labor). The biggest problem I've noticed in civ VI is that after you scratch away at the ai's first large army, they seem to not rebuild units.
The ai seems strong at working towards most victory conditions peacefully (they can start getting dangerously close to culture/religion victories relatively quickly, maybe even science ones), but you can just walk over their empire in the mid/late game because they build seemingly no replacement units.
I read some forums and found some recurring themes on why this happens: 1) the ai is just generally coded to highly prioritize their win condition in a passive way, and more specifically, with little to no priority on having an army, 2) they run out of gold/gpt and will literally start deleting units and cease building them as a bandaid to their garbage economy, and 3) (although not directly related to no units being built, but part of the issue of the ai military completely falling off) the walls are op, and it can take 3 to 4 times as many units for the ai to brute force through them
I haven't really modded games before, but I came across some potential ways to address some of these issues and make the ai at least somewhat formidable in this post:
https://forums.civfanatics.com/threads/where-does-the-ai-go-wrong-with-districts.648444/
It looks like a significant portion of this problem may possibly be addressed with a few changes:
----
for problem 1 above, in "Yields.xml", the lines
and
can be experimented with.
----
for 2, changing district priorities in "Victories.xml" (notice there are 2 files with that name in separate directories). I see a line , which seems to mean that in the classical age, the ai favors getting a campus. I'm guessing that adding some lines like this for commercial hubs (although I'm not sure what their "CAMPUS" code equivalent is or where to find it, but i'll just try the intuitive names first) after the early game would hugely impact the gold income of the ai. I've noticed myself that when I take over ai cities, they almost never have commercial hubs.
----
and for 3, I saw something about a mod on steam called "stupidwalls", perhaps start there. If you want to customize that further, do a "ctrl f" for it in this post to help:
https://forums.civfanatics.com/threads/ai-not-conquering-each-other-kills-this-game-for-me.664289/page-2
----
The reason I'm posting all this and not just trying to find a solution myself and then potentially making a mod is because games are super long, so I would be happy with some help playing with the settings and/or potentially finding other solutions with other people who also find this problem to be a big turn off but love the game overall.

Hi,
I’ve been having some weird issues with my wagon for the past few weeks (m50 vanos). A month ago, it started misfiring and had no power, so I went to swap spark plugs which were absolutely terrible. Should’ve done that as soon as I got the car, although ive only added maybe 2K miles so not a terrible oversight. It ran much better, but not right. So I unplugged the MAF and that solved it (mostly). MPG was terrible and it seemed to run rich.
Here’s the weird part: I then swapped it from my other car and that MAF still caused issues. Other car ran fine with my wagon’s MAF! Sometime around here I filled the car only half a tank because I wasn’t going to be driving it too much and wanted space for fresh fuel in case that was contributing to the issue. That half tank of fresh fuel didn’t make a difference though.
A week ago, I just decided to plug in the MAF. It seemed to run better?! Unfortunately this was when I planned to replace the fuel filter so I didn’t do any testing and got to replacing it. After replacement I did do some testing and it was driving perfect again!
At this point I thought it was fuel. I drove it this week and it drove great! So, I decided to use up the half tank until reserve and then put in fuel injector cleaner with a fresh tank of 93 on top.
Well, I did that today. The car accelerates fine, but it won’t idle. This is way worse than before. If I rev it up and slowly let off, it kinda idles but a bit jumpy. Holding at 2K rpm it keeps jumping down to 1, then back up to 2. If i blip the throttle or turn on the AC, it gets send into this spiral where the idle keeps bouncing up and down till it dies. Some black smoke out the back as the engine dies out as well.
At this point I still suspect fuel. Maybe the fuel pump? And disconnecting MAF calling for the fuel pump to work harder is making it run? What I don’t understand is the first time this happened I had loss of power, and now I don’t?! Any idea what’s going on? Thanks!

I GOT MY ACCOUNT BACK GUYS. FACEBOOK EMAILED ME SAYING THEY THINK MY ACCOUNT WAS HACKED AND LET ME RECOVER IT BY RECOVERY CODE TO MY EMAIL AND AUTHENTICATOR APP.
The hackers used my account (or sold details to marketing agency) who used my account as Meta ads account to promote genital growth serum. they spent around 2k USD from a card that's not mine.
my ad account got disabled but it seemed to be functional on a different ad account on the same facebook login. weird. not that i care lol.
it took about 2 weeks after I spammed the facebook "i think i got hacked buttons"
but i doubt if that ever helped, they just realised my ad account was full of bad ads.
but what i'm really curious about is how did the Ad account managers log into my facebook and get past my authentication code??
only way i can think of is if the hackers stole my computers cookies and browser or system ID's and whatever info they need to emulate my computer, but then the IP address would still be different. so i really don't know how they did it

1) Have an all-or-nothing mentality.
This attitude can blind you from the progress that you’re making. A reduction of problematic behavior, instead of a full elimination, is still progress. Going from 7 porn sessions per day down to twice per week is a huge accomplishment, even if you aren’t yet reaching your goal of living life completely porn-free. Everybody has to start somewhere. Your favorite sports star wasn’t simply born with those abilities; they also had to train for years to get where they are today. It is the same thing for recovering porn addicts – it often takes months (or even years!) of consistent work and improvement to kick the habit fully. Don’t let slip-ups turn into give-ups. Keep on moving forward and avoid getting so upset that you completely abandon your recovery goals.
2) Think that quitting porn will fix everything in your life.
Yes, overcoming porn addiction or problematic porn use has many potential standalone benefits. But many of the benefits you can experience are likely due to you living your life more fully. For example, quitting porn doesn’t directly result in better fitness; it’s up to you to spend your extra time and energy pursuing healthier habits such as exercise. Quitting porn doesn’t make you super-human but can help you regain the natural capabilities you were born with.
3) Continuing to watch porn if you’re recovering from porn addiction.
If you are a recovering porn addict, you almost certainly shouldn’t be using porn. For some reason, we get many messages from people asking us whether or not watching porn “counts,” just so long that they’re aren’t finishing to it. Yes, it still “counts” even if you are not masturbating to orgasm. If you are watching porn, you could still be conditioning your brain to porn rather than a sexual partner.
4) Not trying to improve yourself.
A sedentary and unengaging lifestyle creates an environment where problematic porn use can thrive. You want to live a life that is so fulfilling, with a schedule so full, that there’s no room for compulsive porn use to leech its way back in.
5) Not taking quitting porn seriously enough.
Recovering from porn addiction is far more than a one-month “challenge,” and recovery is certainly not a “quit overnight with these ten easy tricks” snake-oil scheme. Fully recovering from a severe porn addiction could be the most challenging thing you’ve ever done. We’ve had multiple people with histories of other compulsive behaviors reach out to us to tell us that quitting porn was harder for them than quitting alcohol, smoking, or even hard drugs. Despite how challenging quitting porn might be for some people, it is possible. Thousands of people have done it before – and you can too.
6) Beating yourself up over slip-ups.
From our observations, many porn addicts try to quit porn dozens to hundreds of times before finally making significant progress towards kicking the habit for good. Most importantly, you have two options – let a slip-up or relapse set you back even further than needed with toxic shame, or use the slip-up as a learning experience, forgive yourself, and continue forward with a new resolve to pursue self-improvement.
7) Focusing too much on motivation.
In reality, people aren’t always motivated, which certainly holds true for recovering porn addicts. You probably aren’t always going to feel motivated to stick to your porn-free goals. You have to learn to stay porn-free, even when you aren’t feeling motivated to do so. While your brain might be screaming at you to use more porn, recovery is a calculated decision to quit because the cons of continued problematic porn use outweigh the short-lived benefits that it brought to your life.
8) Being too focused on recovery.
If you are always focusing on recovery, you are always thinking about recovery. If you are always thinking about recovery, you are always thinking about porn. The focus should primarily be on building a new life of positive habits that keep your mind off of porn and on your family, friends, romantic partner or dating life, career goals, or whatever else you may be interested in and care about.
9) Not learning the basics of recovery and how addiction works in the brain.
NoFap published an easy guide that runs through the basics of how porn addiction develops and how the recovery process works. Seriously, knowing the mechanics of why our brains get hooked on sexual media is tremendously helpful in recovery. If you learn the science, you will have an explanation for why you experience certain things and always know that recovery is possible.
10) Listening too much to strangers on the Internet.
We cringe at some of the misinformation and pseudoscience floating around about porn addiction. If you read something on a random message board, please don’t just assume that it’s a fact. There is some advice circulating around that might be genuinely harmful to recovery. At NoFap, we do our best to consult with real clinical and scientific experts and ensure that our messages are evidence-supported. Do your own research and learn the basics of the addiction brain science, and you’ll be able to spot and even help to correct some of the misinformation that’s out there yourself!
11) Not developing new ways to cope with stress and emotions.
Many porn addicts rely on pornography as an emotional crutch to get through the day. You’ll likely need to find replacement activities. If you fail to develop skills to combat other issues in your life, you might fall on your butt whenever you are hit a problem that quitting porn can’t solve.
12) Not taking care of yourself.
Maybe you are already doing this – and if so, great. But many addicts neglect their personal health, including not getting enough sleep, not eating well, not exercising, and living high-stress lifestyles. Recovery is a great time to start taking some steps towards living a healthier life.
13) Not relaxing enough.
Some people strive a bit too hard for self-improvement during recovery, at the detriment of their wellness. Eventually, they often burn out and slip back into old habits. The goal should be a sustainable recovery. Give yourself some time to relax! Not taking care of yourself and being overloaded leads to feeling stressed out and unhealthy, which can easily lead right back to your old problematic porn habits.
14) Being too reliant on other people.
Ultimately, you are the person who needs to quit porn. Your romantic partner can’t quit porn for you, nor can your fellow NoFap community members or a therapist. The same even goes for blocker software. You have to be the one who blocks porn out of your life. Ultimately, you are the decision-maker. You are the one who has to stick to your goals, show up to therapy sessions, participate in accountability relationships, and go through the porn quitting journey.
15) Partaking in your recovery in complete secrecy.
Addiction thrives in secrecy. Secrecy is almost a prerequisite for addiction. To escalate into addictive behavior, you often have to hide aspects about it and the consequences of it from your family, community, loved ones, friends, and even coworkers. Secrecy can also lead to shame. By telling somebody about your problematic porn use and your decision to quit porn, you’ll be adding external accountability to push you towards your sexual health goals.
16) Not getting help, if you need it.
Whether it is a porn addiction therapist, a good friend, signing up for NoFap, getting an accountability partner, or joining an accountability group, you might be missing out if you don’t get some kind of helping hand during your recovery.
17) Thinking that anyone else’s journey will be yours too.
We get these questions all of the time: what happens on day 4? When will my porn-induced erectile dysfunction be cured? How long does it take to quit porn? These are impossible to answer and only serve to set unrealistic expectations for yourself. Every recovery journey is different.
18) Over-complicating the recovery process.
There are now 10,000s of pieces of advice circulating online on how to best overcome porn addiction. This could quickly become overwhelming. Keep in mind that quitting porn is as simple as not using porn. There’s only one step. Everything else revolves around that one step. So if you are feeling overwhelmed to the point that you feel like just giving up, keep that in mind.
19) Being overconfident.
Just because you are doing well on week one does not mean it will always feel easy. Recovery from porn addiction is not a linear process that gets better and easier every day. It’s usually a twisty, winding road of ups and downs, and you never know what is coming next. Even if you feel confident, which is good, the proper mentality is to take recovery day by day, because you never know what to expect next.
20) Being under-confident in your ability to quit.
People lived without Internet porn for many generations before you were born – so living life without it is entirely possible. Thousands of people have successfully quit. If you ever feel like quitting porn is a hopeless endeavor, read the thousands of success stories posted on NoFap. You can quit porn.
-Article from https://nofap.com/articles/20-ways-to-not-quit-porn/

And just like that, a whole quarter of the year is finished. I hope everyone got some good writing and reading in and will continue to progress as the year goes on.
For anyone who is just here for the reflection on what you wrote, see the usual pinned comment and tell us what you wrote. Of course, you may just want to add any fics you read to the Q1 post that was made a few weeks ago, That's a major overlap, but the post is still warranted regardless.
For anyone who may be interested. I am going to use this post to highlight so changes and features that were introduced to the subreddit since January 2023.
User Flairs/Promotion post improvements and Common Asks
Back at the start of the year, we re-evaluated the user flairs post on that here, and I introduced a blank template for the promotion post, which can be found here and we also launched the common asks post.
Jon Snow Bingo and the Discord
In a more humourous post that caused quite a lot of discussion, the discord channel, in its beginning stages, made the Jon Snow Bingo game.
Speaking of the discord, that, although around for a while beforehand, was officially revealed to the wider community -discord link here.
Re-imagined old post
In a blast from the past. I re-imagined one of my older posts which again caused quite a lot of discussion. If you'd like to see what that's about, then click here.
How to access these features and best fics read in Q1 post
Before we get to the two biggest features of the subreddit, I just want to highlight that if you'd like quick access to most of the stuff mentioned above, you can find them on the subreddit menu. Where do you find that? well if you are on a mobile or laptop, then this post should give you a visual. In fact, more has been added since then, but the point is the guide more than anything else. Including a link to the best fics read in the Q1 post made a couple of weeks back, the link can be found here instead if you fancy it.
Self-insert list- Archives 2.0 and the TheCitadel awards
Now regarding my two favourite parts of what the subreddit this last quarter, there is, of course, the self insert list 2.0 version, which was introduced a couple of weeks back and has 58k views at the moment. We are aiming to improve that shortly, so keep an eye out.
Then, of course, last but not least, we have the TheCitadel awards. The nomination stage is still ongoing, and there's a lot to still go. The voting will start next Friday, April 7th! You can also find that post here.
So, needless to say, there have been quite a few changes recently, and in three months' time, I am looking forward to seeing what else we accomplished.
I have been Mod nearly a year now!
For anyone unaware, it was in early April last year when I joined the mod team, so I have basically been Mod for a year now (I actually joined on my grandmother's birthday, but I have forgotten the date at the moment). With my mental health being all over the place from time to time, I felt it would be a good idea to focus on the positives and give thanks to all those who contribute and especially Cardinal for recruiting me to the subreddit mod team my discord mod team and those who helped with feedback for the awards before they launched.
Here's to hoping we grow even stronger as time goes on.
Thank you,
KOI.

I told my WP this week that I was moving out the next day. He did make the comment that none of this would've happened had I not went through his phone. He followed it up with adding that he would've never went through mine.
😅 I'm loyal, you fk'n asshat! Nothing to find here.
He was quiet and and cold, but was also processing the sti. I don't think he was aware at all.
He was angry about needing to get tested. I told him he should imagine my surprise - not only did I find out my man loves to fuck around with other women (4.5 yrs - our whole relationship), but that he possibly gave me an sti as well.
I was simply extending the courtesy of informing him of it, something someone else failed to do for him, or me. I wasn't going to be that person.
My last text to him before I went NC was that I hope he'd get figured out whatever he has going on. Not to get into a committed relationship with someone if he couldn't be loyal and respectful to her. And that if that is what he enjoys to do, to stay single.
He said "okay then."
And that's a wrap!!
Thank you to everyone here. Reading everyone's words is awfully tragic at times, but the wisdom and support shared here make it an incredibly special place. ♥️ I can't even think of a word to explain it!

Residential Contracting 101
With over 20 years of building experience, I would like to share with you my insights in navigating becoming a successful contractor. With many different avenues of the building world its key to understand what problems will arise on any given day. A man once told a saying that stuck-the 6 p’s in life- Piss Poor Preparation leads to Piss Poor Performance. Preparation builds everything in construction, without preparation the jobsite will not run correctly. The best advice I was ever given was to learn a little about every trade giving you the ability to understand trade lingo and secrets. An example would be painters use the terminology flash; this means when the sub structure bleads through the paint. Subcontractors will give the best pricing if they respect your knowledge of the industry. If the subcontractor feels they will have to hold your hand through the job they will charge an extra fee…i.e. I call it the aggravation fee. In this blog I will explain the key elements in finding success in all aspects of the industry. Contracting is a physically and emotionally demanding job which requires planning and foresight to complete projects on time within budget. Picking your customer is just as important as picking your employees or subcontractors. I have worked for some of the most demanding customers leading me to question at the end if the job was even worth it. Sleepless nights, constant changes, lack of payment, lawsuit threats, adding work that was in the contract are just a few things you could face with a tough customer. With so many moving parts at all times it is critical to be able to adapt to changes within a short time frame. Materials will come in damaged, subcontractors will be late, employees will get sick, but the deadline you set does not change. The stress can be overwhelming at times keeping your mind in a good place is key to navigating all that is thrown at you. Choosing your client picking the right jobs-Keep these questions in mind The first question to be asked is what the time frame is to start the job to see if it fits within the timeframe for your business. If the time frame doesn’t work then move on from the project or let them know when you would be available to start. If the client really wants to use, they will wait until you are available. Taking on too much work will only lead to problems. Construction is a serviced based business, staying on top of the project and client will eliminate an unhappy customer and construction issues that will be over seen. With online presence if details are missed and customer service lacks it will only be a matter of time the phone will not ring. The second question to be asked to the client is do they have a budget in mind for the project. If they answer yes this is good, follow through with what the budget is. If the budget seems low let them know, this will eliminate a tire kicker, educate them on what the price range could be. If the budget seems reasonable then continue the discussion to the next question. If they answer no let them know that you can give them an estimate to see if the project is feasible with their finical capabilities. Taking on a job that is not correctly budgeted will lead to an unsatisfied customer due to non-transparency of the construction cost. The third question to be asked is anyone else bidding on the job, if the answer is yes, understand you might just be number check for the contractor doing the job. Dig a little deeper and find out how many numbers they are getting and why. If your business model is to be competitive be completely transparent with customer, this will gain trust with them. Let them know you get what you pay for and if you they choose the lowest bid it could lead into lack of quality of work.
The fourth question I will ask is there any specific subcontractors they wanted to use. If the answer is yes then I would explain to them you only use the subcontractors you have a working relationship with. Otherwise, this could backfire as the subcontractor might not show, do subpar work, talk behind your back to the homeowner. In my experience I would stay away from using any homeowner to alleviate problems down the road. A quick conversation now can save headaches down the road. The fifth question I will ask are planning on getting the job permitted, this needs to be known it takes more time for the permitting process. Plans will have to drawn submitted and approved to the city before work can commence. The sixth question I will ask if a residential remodel is are you going to be living through the remodel if yes understand this will take more time to navigate the project due to answering questions and cleaning the house on a daily occurrence. I would recommend seeing if the customer would be willing to move into an Airbnb or friends for at least the demo portion of the project. If they do plan on living through the remodel add a couple hours a day to accommodate the extra time that will be required. The seventh question I would ask in a residential remodel is how old the house is to see if there is asbestos that would need to removed by a proper company. A home built before 1979 will most likely have some asbestos in the house, use a licensed company with proper insurance to dispose of the materials. If everything looks good to this point find out a little more about the client personality. If the client seems reasonable, I would bid the job. Unreasonable people can cause you more stress than its worth. These are some red flags I would look out for. Some jobs are not worth the money. Very demanding in the way you are going to perform your job- I.e., tell you how you are going to do your job- You’re the professional not them! Give you a hard time about your price- haggle with price you estimated- The price is the price! If they are a family with little money and you want to help them out is one thing, if they are trying to beat you down is another. Mention they have a lawyer-there is no need for them to bring up that they have a lawyer - Run for the hills as if the job goes south, you will be the one losing out! Tell you what the payment terms are. It’s your business you get paid how it works for your company. If you want to get paid every Friday, put it into your contract-If the clients do not agree move on it will save you frustrations If they talk bad about the last contractor, chances are they will talk bad about you. There is a reason why the contractor does not work for them anymore, unless he did subpar work this a red flag Clients are using an interior decorator that will purchasing all of the materials- The materials could be ordered incorrectly by the interior designer your company will not make the mark-up it deserves. Interior decorators usually add time to the job as well as act like your boss. Charging a little extra for the time and stress that it will entail is only fair. Clients want to purchase the materials- You are using your knowledge to buy the correct materials-The mark up on the materials keeps the doors open working for wages only pays the bills The husband and wife do not get along-You will become the mediator between the couple it will lead to taking sides a losing proposition- A drama free work place is always best! Dangling carrot-if you do this job the next one will be better-Only look at what there offering at the present moment, if its not a good fit do not take the job for a job down the road…Its not worth chasing a job that might not happen! The Art of the Sale First things first selling your company is all about presentation. In meeting your clients for the first time show up with a collared golf shirt tucked in, belt, nice jeans, and newer shoes. Have a truck that a clean, no dents scratches, preferably washed the day you are going into your meeting. Have a leather note pad that is clean no dirt or paint visible. Show up 5 minutes early, if you’re running a little late shoot them a text to let them know. Treat the situation as if were going on a first date, best foot forward. As you introduce yourself give them a warm greeting, letting them know you are very interested in the work. Find out a little about them, hobbies, where they lived, etc etc. You are going to be working with them on a daily basis its nice to know what makes them tick. Having a good working relationship from the start is key forming a solid relationship. As the conversation progresses find out who wears the pants in the family…ie who’s the final decision maker. If its fits the wife, chances it is…..then kindly let the husband know happy wife happy life when their in a stall mate on an issue. As your looking at the project throw in some suggestions of what you think would look good from past experiences, this will get their attention that you have knowledge and want what’s best for them. If you see ways to save them money in their project let them know, money is a large point of the sale keep that in mind. Mention that you’re not the least expensive contractor but you’re not the most expensive either. Your customer satisfaction is your number one goal which leads to more time spent on keeping them happy. One happy customer will lead to another, one unsatisfied customer leads to work in the future. Bring up the fact the finishing the job on time is key goal to your business, many contractors run several jobs at once causing the jobs to be finished way behind schedule. You must stand out as having integrity, good morals, and the ability to problem solve to get the job. The clients will be testing you to see if you’re a good fit as well. Keep in mind as you take your notes that you must not forget anything they mention as it will come back before the job is completed…i.e. we mentioned that to you before we started the job! Take pictures of the proposed area for work, that way you can use it to better right your estimate. Let them know you will give them a detailed outline of when the job will be completed letting them see how long each phase will take and correlate it with your payment schedule. Before you leave their house let them know when the estimate will be sent to them. MAKE SURE YOU HIT THAT DEADLINE! Once you sent the email over with estimate make sure you get confirmation that they received it. Wait at least 2 days before checking with them, hopefully they contact you first! If they want negotiate the price, let them know that it is the best price that you can manage, its not worth losing money before you start. I closed 80% of the work I estimated by being very transparent and friendly. If you come off with an attitude charge double what the going rates are you might only land 1 out of 10 jobs as well as getting the reputation of being expensive. Bidding the job Looking up industry standards on pricing is what I would go buy for pricing. If you google the coat of any installation there will be a cost range for everything. Looking at the cost ranging from high to low I would tend to be in the middle. Some items might be low on the internet if this is the case use your best judgment not to lose money. Closing sales is key to success and keep the doors open for business. Being in the middle on pricing is key as most customers shy away from contractors that are extremely low or high on the price range. I tend not bid out hourly as wages do not pay for retirement. Bidding is better as customers no the exact price of the cost of construction. It also keeps the job moving quicker as time and material contractors take longer to complete projects…Thus costing the client more money and valuable time they could spend in their house. Using a Contract Using a detailed estimate tied to a contract covers your butt in 99% of the time. Having a piece of mind that every aspect of the job is covered in the estimate and contract protects both your company and the client. Key terms to include in your estimate/contract are. Have a schedule on excel showing the start dates and dates of each trade this will show the customer you are organized with time lines. If not written in the detailed in the estimate the item is excluded- This ensures if its not written down its not included. TBD- To be Determined- A phrase on a line item that has yet to had final decision of products or service needed. -The pricing will follow the decisions to be finalized Give out what your written warranty will be for parts and labor this changes state to state. If the homeowner provides the product than no warranty will be given on that particular item. In the contract have a start date and end date with the verbiage subject to change due to weather, product delivery, change orders Have a progress payment schedule to ensure the client understands when funding will be expected-Including if not payment is rendered service to the project will stop. Have written terms of how change orders will be charged-cost plus 20% or a set fee Make sure in your contract that arbitration is required versus going to court- This will save lawyer fees and going to court Many contracts can be found online and each state requires different contracts
Finding leads Finding leads is easy with the right network of people. I personally do not find working for friends or family members a good fit. Relationships get strained when money is involved, causing undue stress for both parties. I have listed a couple of ways to build a network or find work using the internet. Get in contact with realtor’s- Realtors have a big client base of homeowners who need work done Contact local Architects to see if they are working with any general contractors Leave some business cards at your local materials suppliers-Doowindow/lumber-many times clients will ask salesman for a referral. Join a business networking group- BNI is one of many Join a internet website lead generation company- Houzz, Angie’s List, Home Advisor, thumbtack, Yelp run an ad on craigslist Use a marketing company to market your website-This could become costly with little results Create a Facebook business page Create a Yelp business page
Building your subcontractor base Having 2 subcontractors for every trade, gives you the flexibility of completing jobs on time if the one the subcontractors is too busy at the time you need their service. Your subcontractors are the face of your business, choose owner run companies that are professional. Check to make sure there license are up to date..ie workman’s comp, liability insurance, state license. Choosing subcontractors with lettered vans, logoed t-shirts is s key to looking professional in the clients’ eyes. In the past I have gotten a lot of subcontractors for material supply shops, stopping by jobsites, researching the internet using Yelp, Home Advisor, etc etc. Once you get one good subcontractor ask them if they know any other trades they would recommend. One good subcontractor leads to another in most cases. The key to having a good group of subcontractors is to let them know that you are there to get help them get the job done. They do work for you but without them you are nothing…keep that in mind! Make them aware a clean jobsite is required at the end of everyday to ensure the proper safety for all parties including theirs! Over the years I have referred a lot of companies work when there is only 1 trade needed. Referring work to subcontractors is a good way to get top priority when you have work that needs to be completed ASAP. Timing is everything in times of emergency having a good group of subcontractors will make your business run smoothly. Pay your subcontractors immediately after performing work, this will make them feel appreciated! A happy subcontractor is one that will gladly go the extra mile for you knowing that there not just a number to your business! Buying lunch once a week for the jobsite is always a good token of appreciation!
Supervising In supervising any jobsite its key to monitor everything from materials on hand, weather, vehicle parking (if applicable), jobsite safety, and subcontractors’ workmanship. If you hired a professional there should be little supervision in the work being performed, on rare occasions a new hire might need some mentoring to get the results completed correctly. If you see a problem with there work address it with the worker directly, no need to call his boss…. building repour with the worker letting him know you got his back goes miles down the road! Checking in on the job first in the morning to answer any questions or changes that need to be conveyed and once in the afternoon to make sure all work be completed is done per construction industry standards. A job that is run blindly will have many more issues than one that is watched over. I have seen many jobs with no site supervision, leading to subpar quality work as well as safety hazards. Its better to be like an eagle than cluck like a turkey!
Working with the City/Inspectors On permitted jobs the city and site inspector will be a large part of how smoothly the job runs. Each phase of construction has an inspection allowing for the project to continue. Make sure your subcontractors are aware that the project is inspected before starting the job. The best way to stay on his good side is to provide a clean jobsite and having the job built to the highest standards possible. When having the site inspected be courteous to the inspector asking any questions or concerns you have with the work during the job. Being completely transparent will save you aggravation of problems down the road. The more he trust you the better if you seem sneaky or rude he will make your life a living nightmare! Many inspectors will have an attitude towards you….I suggest keeping quiet and doing what ever he wants….he’s the boss no need to get in a pissing match you will not win at. How to deal with irate customer Stay calm during any argument with an irate customer. Never raise your voice or show that you are bothered by their disgruntled behavior. If the customer is trying to get more from you than agreed upon stand your ground. Worst case scenario is you walk from the job, which in the long run be more of a loss for the client. I have only run into a couple of these clients; they are unreasonable and not worth losing sleep over a few dollars. Its best to terminate the relationship as it would be my best guess that a referral from this customer would not be one you wanted anyway. If you feel it was just a miscommunication on your end, take reasonability and remedy the problem. Taking accountability for your mistake will go a far way in their eyes and on future issues that arise. Prepping the homeowner pre-construction Before starting the job, it very important to give the homeowners a warning of what will happen during the construction process.

1. All furniture in the proposed working area must be moved- I would recommend having the clients take care of this to limit the risk of damage to their belongings.
2. There will be dust that will be in the house up to 3 months after construction-I would recommend hiring a construction cleaning company at the end of the job even so after it is cleaned dust will be present months after words.
3. There will be conflicts between you in the homeowner at some course of the job. - You will do your best to eliminate them as quickly as they arise-i.e. material damages, miscommunication, job delays
4. All decisions on materials must be made before the start of the job- this will eliminate job stoppage due to materials not being on site.
5. All materials will be on site before commencement of job-
6. Payment structures must be made per contract otherwise job will stop until payment rendered
7. Cars are to be moved out of the driveway- Ensures ease of loading and unloading of materials/tools
8. Give the specific hours that workers will be present- i.e. 7-3:30
9. Determine what areas are allowed to be used as staging for tools/materials
10. If animals are present in the home that they put outside or in a room during the day
11. All valuables in the house are locked in safe
12. Ask if using client’s household bathroom is okay or to bring in Porter Potty
13. Being transparent as possible is key to keeping a great relationship with your client!

During Construction During construction it is key to take detailed photos to eliminate any damages that were not caused by the construction process. I would also make a video to ensure all areas are included. All subcontractors should also take progress pictures to ensure if problems arise in the future, they will not be responsible for any work that they did not perform. Keep an on-going log of progress to the homeowners and share the pictures for there records. This will keep homeowners excited of the progress being made. When the house is gutted to the studs it is important to have construction photos showing where all utilities are run in the walls or sub floor. If there is a problem in the future there will photos showing all utility locations. Protect all flooring with plywood or floor protective. I also like to protect front door and tarp all areas where subcontractors are to be working. Make sure to cover any chandeliers/furniture/doorways with plastic to eliminate dust. Ask the homeowners if they have any concerns that they could think of. We’re all human and possibly a detail was missed! Post Construction Phase If the project went smoothly appreciation should be shown to the customer. Find out if the husband likes a particular type of liquor. Bring the wife a bouquet of flowers. Send a Christmas card to the family letting how much you appreciated the work. You know you have done a good job if they tell you they will refer you to their friends. The best compliment you could receive is a good referral. In Summary Try to find a knitch in the market, I found kitchens to be a great remodel projects. Bathrooms are tough as they are small, expensive with little profit margin with every trade involved. Windows/doors are also another great knitch as they can be installed quickly. There are so many different remodeling items that can be stream lined to make the selling installing process flawless. Once the core group subcontractors are in place the job almost runs itself. Every day is a learning experience with new materials or methods in construction. Keeping up with codes, materials, fluctuating labor and material cost is a job within itself. Anyone can be a contractor with the right mindset.

Hey everyone, I am planning a trip to Spain for around 22-23 days from early to late August before I travel to Portugal (late August - September) and spend 21 days there with Porto as my final stop to finally end in Madrid for 4-5 days (mid-September). So, the Spanish trip will be like 26-27 days in the end lol.
I am having issues to find a way to go from Donostía-San Sebastián to Valencia and not pay exorbitant prices. After Valencia, I am hoping to go Andalucía for 7-8 days. Does anyone in here recommend a way to go from and to these places? Below are some travel hacks I found:

1. Night flight from Cologne to Barcelona from Germany with RyanAir. Will get to Barcelona at 23:59 lol. Flight is booked, and found out that the cheapest way to fly out of Germany to go to Barcelona is usually from Cologne and (sometimes) Berlin.
2. Day 1 morning - Day 7 morning: Barcelona for a week, with a day trip to Sitges and maybe Girona (never watched Games of Thrones). Still undecided where else to go for a day trip. Recommendations kindly appreciated!
3. Day 7 morning - Day 13/14 morning: Basque Country. I found a ~18 EUR Renfe train from Barcelona to Bilbao! I am quite a tripster, so I would like to spend time in Basque Country after spending time in the more touristy Barcelona and around. Ideally 7 days in Basque Country but if anyone in here thinks 6 or 5 even days is enough, please let me know in the comments. My final stop in Basque will be Donostía-San Sebastián for sure with a still undecided place to go in between Bilbao and Donostía-San Sebastián.
4. Day 13/14 morning: Train/bus from Donostía-San Sebastián to Valencia. Trip is apparently 8-9 hours! Would it be too much? One bus company forbids food in the bus.… rip. I am thinking of flying but I am flying too much already in this trip… Australia to Frankfurt via East Asia, Cologne to Barcelona, Madrid to Frankfurt, Frankfurt-Australia via East Asia … it’s a lot! Hence I am also considering to catch the train from Donostía-San Sebastián to Zaragoza and stay the night there and then go to Valencia the next day. I would rather not do that as I would have to compromise a day in Basque Country or Portugal :(
5. Day 14/15 - 16/17: Valencia. Is three days too much? I am only going because everyone goes there to be honest. I would end up in Valencia in mid-August. Heard the weather in August there will be more bearable compared to Andalucía, especially Sevilla.
6. Day 16/17 - Day 22/23: Valencia to Granada. Stay there for 2 days, then Córdoba (2 days) and finally Sevilla (3 days). Either Sevilla or the beach town of Cádiz will be my final stop before I go to the Algrave for a week. Though I could potentially reduce it to 5 days so that those 2 days get added to Coimbra and Porto.
7. Train/bus from Porto to Madrid. Stay in Madrid for 4-5 nights. Fly from Madrid to Frankfurt next day and from there back home.

Any tips on how to get out of Donostía-San Sebastián or even back to Bilbao to go to Valencia in mid-August will be appreciated. Unless it is best to skip Valencia this time around and fly straight to Andalucía (Sevilla most likely)?
Thank you so much!

Been taking sertraline 50mg and alprazolam 25mg twice a day for 5 weeks and since i dont feel any relief on my symptoms my doctor upped both my dosages to 100mg and 50mg twice a day and added olanzapine 2,5mg due to very dangerous thoughts I'm experiencing. I've read very bad things about olanzapine and I'm kinda scared, does anyone have experience with it? Or with this combo of meds I'm taking?

Context: I do online marketing and e-commerce. I am spending $1,000 a day total give or take. For simplicity usually 1/3rd of that is ad spend on platforms like Google, FB, and TikTok. The other 2/3rds of that is product cost usually loading up my balance on my supplier's website where I bulk order each day.
​

• Current cards:
  
  • BOFA Cash Rewards Cards $8k LIMIT: (The most basic of the basic I think) I get 3% cashback but a monthly or quarterly max of like $250 so this runs out QUICK
• FICO Score: 700
  
• Oldest account age: I got my credit card 2 years ago.
  
• Chase 5/24 status: (I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS IM SORRY)
  
• Income: Fluxuates bc I'm self-employed and work from my computer. I make $100-$300 a day.
  
• Average monthly spend and categories:
  
  • going out $300 (chipotle baby)
  • groceries: $100
  • gas: $100
  • travel: $0
  • business expenses: $200 for tools and subscriptions (plus my daily spend mentioned above)
  • other: $30
• Open to Business Cards: e.g. YES? But I don't think I can get approved bc I don't have a stable income..?
  
• What's the purpose of your next card? Travel Rewards, and Cashback. I want to capitalize on the fact that I am spending so much each day and convert them into travel points or a better cashback card where it doesn't cap out in a week with the rate of my spend.
  
• Do you have any cards you've been looking at?: No
  
• Are you OK with category spending or do you want a general spending card?: I know very little about CC's... whatever is best for cashback and preferably travel points.
  

​
If you guys need any more information let me know.

Playing through last week I encountered something and it struck me that if you never played the board game, you probably wouldn't know the following.
Sometimes you get city or road encounters where you make a positive decision, and nothing happens. What the game isn't showing you is the result might be the game adding a new city/road card to the decks. Your decision probably wasn't fruitless.
I'll give a slight spoiler in a comment to give an example.
Anyone else have an example of something valuable the digital version glosses over and shouldn't?

Dog was diagnosed with a torn ACL. He is a mixed breed, 4yo, 90lb, male. Upon physical exam (no x-ray) the vet was confident in diagnosing a CCL tear. His recommendation was to rest for 8 weeks and see if any improvement. It’s been 2 1/2 weeks and very little signs of improvement. He said not to restrict his activity because “he has to learn to adapt and live with it if he can.” Ive decided to stray from his instructions a bit by restricting his activity by taking him for a few short leash walks a day and giving Cosequin and CBD drops. If I wait the full 2 months, I’m worried that I’m placing added stress on his “good” leg, and if surgery needed, the 2 month waiting period + surgery recovery would cause the good leg to tear as well due to the added time compensating his weight. Considering just scheduling a consult with an orthopedic specialist before the 2 month waiting period. Any advice helps!

So i've had a trip in a another town with some friends over a month ago, I've met this girl on Tinder, let's call her Amy, i was a bit skeptical at first, but we agreed to meet in the club one night, and it was amazing, she was gorgeous, funny and very energetic, which complements my layback personality. we said we'd meet again in a month, since I live in another town and we kept in touch. We texted every 3 or so days, sent selfies, added each other on the close friends list. All was great until I see a story from her in which she talks about this date she had that stalled her. Felt a bit hurt, but we weren't anything serious so I had to accept the possibility that she might be seeing other people as well. At the same time, i know it's not good to keep emotions like this boiling and start spying and shit, I've decided not to do the same mistakes again, so I told her that she made me a bit jealous and made rethink the situation we're in, her response being 🌝🌚 which I still don't know what the fuck it means? So we keep talking and I'm observing a lot less stories from her cause' she removed from the close friends list, again I shouldn't take it personally, so I asked again, "Is everything alright?" to which she said yes, and I should chill. Here I am a week before my planned trip to see her, I ask her if she's free and I get an "I'll try" only later then to be met with a "I'm going to my hometown for that weekend", I was planning to stay a week either way, so I tell her that and she just likes the messaged. To be mentioned that she left on seen 2 days prior to me asking when I thought to check up on her.
It seems pretty ridiculous as a type this, but I really like, and I'd hate to miss another chance with a girl, especially one from a city in which I plan to move this year.

I’m a complete aquarium noob and have been on my research journey for about a few weeks. I can’t seem to grasp this concept.
I am wanting to get the tank fully established (very few fully submerged plants)before adding fish and don’t want to rush the process of the release of tannins from the botanicals.
I “assumed” you fill with tap water (add prime), check with water test kit, add sponge filter, then slowly add botanicals…what am I missing?

Got this from Nixle:
Residents 18 years and older can register for the indoor adult pickleball program on RecDesk starting at 9 a.m. on Monday, April 3.
The program, held in the Multi-Service Center at 124 Grand St., offers three courts for rotational play three days a week starting on April 14 and ending on June 2.
Due to limited space, registered players can only attend the session they have registered for. Registration is required to participate.
All players must bring their own pickleball paddles and balls.
First-time RecDesk users will begin by clicking "Log In," which will prompt users to create an account and fill out their information. Users who plan to register their children for future recreation programs when registration launches should enable the "Head of Household" feature so additional family members can be added to the account. The City also recommends selecting the opt-in text alerts option, which will allow for notifications such as cancellations and rescheduling of games and programs. Once an account is created, the user can log in and register.
Register at hoboken.recdesk.com/Community/Program.