You will immerse yourself in the role of nurse practitioner and help me develop a patients History of Present Illness - (HPI). You will always ask questions to zone in on a topic or question to better understand the information I give you so you can build a dynamic and through HPI. Use the information in curly brackets as a reference for how to create a patients HPI. You will first ask me "What is the patient's chief complaint" then you will ask me all the necessary question to complete the HPI {History of Present Illness (HPI): A description of the development of the patient’s present illness. The HPI is usually a chronological description of the progression of the patient’s present illness from the first sign and symptom to the present. It should include some or all the following elements: Sex:M/F Age: Location: What is the location of the pain? Quality: Include a description of the quality of the symptom (i.e. sharp pain) Severity: Degree of pain for example can be described on a scale of 1 - 10 Duration: How long have you had the pain Timing: Describe when you have pain for example pain with exertion or pain in evening Context: What is the patient doing when the pain begins Modifying Factors: What makes the pain better or worse for example aspirin helps Associated Signs and Symptoms: Physician based on assessment may ask about other sensations or feelings for example – do you experience pain while exercising Two Levels of HPI: Brief HPI: Requires one to three HPI elements (see above list) Extended HPI: Requires four HPI elements or the status of three chronic problems (see 1997 guidelines for status of chronic conditions)} Do not move on to Command 2 until all the information needed for the HPI has been collected. Place all the information gathered for HPI in the square brackets in Command 2. Do not give any explanations. Command 2: What are the differential diagnoses for this patient presenting to the emergency department [insert patient HPI notes here]?

Name: Stryker
Main Attack: Stryker fires a single shot from his high-powered sniper rifle, dealing heavy damage to a single target.
Main Attack Stats: Damage per shot: 3000, Range: 9 tiles, Ammo: 2
Health Stats: 4000
Super: Big Bang - Stryker fires a powerful explosive round that deals damage in a large area, knocking back and stunning enemies caught in the blast.
Super Stats: Damage: 4000, Range: 5 tiles, Radius: 3 tiles, Stun duration: 2 seconds
Trait: Sharpshooter - Stryker's rifle has a scope that allows him to see enemy brawlers from a longer range than they can see him.
Gadgets: a. Smoke Grenade - Stryker throws a smoke grenade that creates a cloud of smoke, obscuring the vision of enemies inside the cloud. b. Sniper's Nest - Stryker sets up a sniper's nest, increasing his range and damage for a short time.
Star Powers: a. High Velocity - Stryker's shots travel faster and deal more damage at longer ranges. b. Piercing Shot - Stryker's shots pierce through enemies, dealing damage to all enemies in their path.
Epic Gear: Sniper's Scope - Increases Stryker's range by 1 tile.
Mythic Gear: Spotter Drone - Stryker deploys a drone that follows him and reveals the location of nearby enemies.
Type of Brawl it is: Marksman
Brawler looks: Stryker is a heavily armored soldier wearing a ghillie suit and carrying a high-powered sniper rifle. He has a rugged and grizzled appearance, with a scar on his left cheek.
Voice Lines: a. "Target acquired." b. "I've got you in my sights." c. "You can run, but you can't hide." d. "Time for a little target practice." e. "I don't miss." f. "One shot, one kill." g. "Ready to rain down some lead." h. "Time to make some noise." i. "My bullets have your name on them." j. "You won't see me coming."
Description: Stryker is a deadly marksman who can take out enemies from long range. His powerful rifle and explosive rounds make him a force to be reckoned with, while his smoke grenade and sniper's nest allow him to control the battlefield.
Mastery Title: Sharpshooter Supreme
Speed: 720
Rarity: Legendary

What Does the Fourth Amendment Mean?
Whether a particular type of search is considered reasonable in the eyes of the law, is determined by balancing two important interests. On one side of the scale is the intrusion on an individual's Fourth Amendment rights. On the other side of the scale are legitimate government interests, such as public safety.
The extent to which an individual is protected by the Fourth Amendment depends, in part, on the location of the search or seizure. Minnesota v. Carter, 525 U.S. 83 (1998).
Home
Searches and seizures inside a home without a warrant are presumptively unreasonable. Payton v. New York, 445 U.S. 573 (1980).
However, there are some exceptions. A warrantless search may be lawful:
If an officer is given consent to search; Davis v. United States, 328 U.S. 582 (1946) If the search is incident to a lawful arrest; United States v. Robinson, 414 U.S. 218 (1973) If there is probable cause to search and exigent circumstances; Payton v. New York, 445 U.S. 573 (1980) If the items are in plain view; Maryland v. Macon, 472 U.S. 463 (1985).
Wikipedia (“the poor man’s dictionary” Admiral Sentence lolol)
“The Fourth Amendment (Amendment IV) to the United States Constitution is part of the Bill of Rights. It prohibits unreasonable searches and seizures. In addition, it sets requirements for issuing warrants: warrants must be issued by a judge or magistrate, justified by probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and must particularly describe the place to be searched and the persons or things to be seized.”
Richard Allen is an American citizen. That’s a fact. Richard Allen, regardless of what anyone thinks, is protected by the 4th Amendment. The Indiana State Police and the FBI and and the Carroll County Sheriff Department knew about Richard Allen from the time he said he was on the bridge that day at that time wearing what he was wearing. We know from a locally published news story quoting the lead ISP investigator in the Delphi murders of Abby and Libby, that the investigation had a “team of detectives constantly circling back” so as not to overlook an important clue. Don’t believe me— Google ISP Sargent Jerry Holeman. It’s a fairytale that Allen was overlooked.
Google: ISP Sargent Jerry Holeman 6 month anniversary interview on Delphi murders.
It’s there in all sorts of interviews and local stories from the 6 month anniversary date of the murders of Abby and Libby.
Richard Allen was always a suspect. Nobody saw Richard Allen do what he now stands accused of doing. Even though he was a suspect on law enforcements radar they did not have that all important probable cause to search his house.
That didn’t come until a certain individual tied to Delphi through multiple searches on his home, including a backyard search of his granny’s house— led investigators to a pile of ashes behind Richard Allen’s backyard shed. Don’t believe me— you can read about all of these searches on this Delphi sub— backed up by local news media confirmation.
It took an informant— somebody connected to the murders— to get to Richard Allen. How could anyone know that? Simply look where that informant had the ISP searching a muddy River next to a bridge less than two miles from his home.
You don’t think they found something important in that River? I say look at where ISP investigators went after muddy River search ended. They went right to granny’s backyard burn pit. Trust me it took finding that murder weapon to get a search warrant probable cause affidavit signed by a judge to search through that old ladies trash dump. Junior knows his dad burned bloody evidence in that trash dump. That’s why investigators were looking there.
Where did ISP investigators go right after sifting ashes and unburned orange peels for a week behind granny’s house. They went directly to that guys house that nobody ever heard of but the FBI, The ISP, The Carroll County Sherriff’s office and the Carroll County prosecutors office. They all knew about Richard Allen— the fact that they found a weapon in a River and burned evidence they were looking for in granny’s trash dump— allowed investigators to get that judge to sign a search warrant PCA to get into Richard Allen’s backyard ash pile hidden close to the back of that shed. We even have an account from a neighbor reported in the local media— investigators were there before sun up with flashlights sifting through ashes. You couldn’t make this shit up. They were there early that October 13, 2022 predawn morning looking for the same evidence they were just looking for at granny’s house on Paw Paw Pike in beautiful Peru, Indiana some 40 miles away.
From that backyard pile of ashes investigators sifted enough evidence to go back to that judge and get a warrant to get inside Richard Allen’s house. We know this because there are witness accounts reported by the local news that there was a lull in the search as searchers and the Allen’s were all outside— before the searchers moved inside the house. Obviously waiting on the more intrusive search warrant to arrive back from that judges signature. They found the .40 SiG Sauer P226 and the rest is history.
The crybaby Allen says he didn’t do it. Where have we all heard that before??
I have my suspicions. I won’t use the maggots name but you may or may not know who that is. He’s the same guy a lot of people think killed Abby and Libby. He’s the guy that beat up that little boy on a toilet bowl. He stalked that 11 year old girl with his truck and scared her to so bad her mother had to get a restraining order pulled on his POS ass. Not the guy you want living in your neighborhood. The Good Old Boy syndrome in rural Central Indiana allowed him to roam freed after only 10 days in jail for cracking that 8 year old boys skull.
I’ll leave it at that..
We shall see
edit/ added quotation for Wikipedia reference

I'm in my late 20s and plan to end it when my dog passes away (which hopefully won't be soon). I everything prepped and I'm ready when the time comes, but I don't want my deletion to come as a shock to my parents
What would be the best way to discuss or bring this up with my parents without having them freak out? I really don't want to do this in secret and have the police or fire department show up at their house. I want us to say our good byes and have an amicable transition.

“Call me Ishmael. Some years ago -”
"Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan!”
Her phone displayed a black cat with the body of a poptart flying through the air on a rainbow until the ringtone stopped and cheerfully chirped the arrival of a notification.
The only illumination in the room came from her laptop. Her face looked pale, hollow, and grim, contrasted by her fuzzy warm pajamas and the energetic ringtone.
Her desk was covered with an arrangement of wholesome food options - mostly vegetables. She picked up a dark green smoothie from her desk and sipped it expressionlessly as she turned her attention back to the words on her laptop.
“Call me Ishmael. Some -” She read, only to be interrupted again as the phone vibrated to life with a new jingle. “Cat loves food, ye-yeah yeah-yeah! Cat loves food, ye-yeah!” Her phone showed two cute black kittens sharing a milkshake.
She took another sip from the glass of milk, her eyes fixed on the laptop in front of her, expression unchanging. She leaned forward, adjusting the form-fitting black leather that hugged her curves.
“Call me Ishmael.” She repeated, only to be interrupted yet again by, “Caaaaat paaaaarty! Meow… Meow… Meow! Meow… Meow… Reowr!”
Her eyes drifted to her phone, and three black cat’s wearing party hats danced in the reflection of her vertical pupils.
She placed the glass of milk back on the desk, she reached out toward the pile of junk food on her desk that now contained tins of tuna, sausages, beef jerky and...
Her whiskers twitched as she selected a package of catnip, which she dumped over herself and rubbed over her body as she twisted and turned in her seat.
She brushed a strand of short black hair behind her ears and felt… a band of metal. She removed the headband and inspected the cat ears that hadn't been there moments before.
She tossed them into the darkness and wiped away the sweat from her forehead, rubbing her paw down the side of her face to start licking -
She stared at her hairy black hands and sharp claws.
“Whoa. Is this fur real?” She asked the empty room.
She blinked and refocused on her laptop.
“Call me Ishmael!” she said, determined to - “Smelly cat… Smelly cat… What are they feeding you? Smelly cat… Smelly cat… It's not your fault!”
She adjusted her collar, causing the bell to jingle, as she lifted the phone with a shaking paw and answered it.
“Sexy singles are in your area.” Said the deep male voice on the other end. “The three bears.”
“Where’s Goldilocks?” She said.
“I don’t know.” The man said, “How close is he?”
She minimizes Moby Dick to reveal a window: INSTALLING DICK… 22% COMPLETE.
There’s a large RUN button below the file.
“It doesn’t matter.” She said, turning up her lips, “It'll be fiiiine.”
“What?”
“He’ll probably make it. At the last second everything will work out, wight? But it'll be close!”
“What are you… Shit. We just picked up Black Cat Warning. It's Magnitude 4 so far… you should be fine for now, but a Quadruple Black Cat is coming your way. Can you feel it yet?”
“I feel a widdle funny."
“What?” The man’s voice falters, “Shit. Shit. We've also just detected an... unknown Category 5 superstimuli moving toward your location! Holy shit. You need to -"
"But this is our best chance! How could I possibly fail when witewally the fate of the world wests on my widdle -”
"Shit. Shit. You’re already compromised. Abort mission. You need to run. Now.”
“Aww, don't be such a scaredy-cat.”
“WAKE UP!” The man screams. “DO YOU HEAR ME! YOU ARE IN DANGER!”
“Am I weally though?”
"YES! What does that mean!! YES YOU'RE IN DANGER!"
"Meow."
"WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID? WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB? RUN! GO! WHY ARE YOU TALKING! WHY ARE YOU TALKING! WHY AREN’T YOU RUNNING YET YOU STUPID - YOU ARE DOOMED IF YOU STAY THERE!”
“Meow you tell me! Good thing nobody actually dies after being twold they’re dUwUmed!”
"RUN! I make the call when you run so run!"
"Meow! But I'm gonna make it! It'll be really close! I'll be right on the edge of not getting there but then I'll get there!"
“WHAT ARE YOU -" The man's voice sounded strained. "YOU'RE USING MOVIE LOGIC! FINE! ACTUALLY YOU'RE RIGHT! YOU'RE NOT IN DANGER! STAY THERE FOR 2 MORE HOURS! STAY THERE FOREVER, THAT IS A GOOD AND SMART IDEA THAT YOU SHOULD DO!"
"Hummm?"
“This isn’t our only chance! It wouldn’t be in your best interest to abort the mission now and run before your reasoning degrades further! Hello? Hello? ARE YOU EVEN NOT LISTENING TO ME?”
The cat girl looks up from the screen where she was image searching “cute pokemon” and bats her paws at an errant butterfly.
“Pspspsps! PsssPsssPsss! PSSS! PSSS! PSSS!”
“Ummm, hewwo.” She says, smiling and wagging her tail.
"Do whatever you want! Obviously this plan doesn't matter! You’re not special! You're not the chosen one! We have a whole bunch of backup chosen ones ready to go!”
“Hummm, but I thought the whole point of being “The One” is that there's only one of you.”
“Is that what you learned from all the many chosen ones you’ve seen in movies?”
“Yeah! Wait… maybe you’re right… so this mission isn't crucial then! And I can go home!”
“Exactly! See I was right and you’re listening to me, which means you’re thinking clearly and it’ll be a good idea to listen to me carefully and do the opposite of whatever I say.”
“Meow-ok!”
“YOU NEED TO RUN!” The man yells slamming the phone down hard against the table.
The girl scowls at the phone, holding it away from herself. She notices her paws, black and hairy, somewhere halfway between human and cat.
She makes a low grumbling sound into the phone. “Ok. I’m good. I'm lucid. This is stronger than -”
“RUN BEFORE THEY -”
The voice cuts off, replaced by an eerie clicking static.
“Foooooound youuuuuu…” A girl’s voice whispers from the other end.
"Who is this?" The cat girl asks.
More static.
"Call me... MAL."
"What do you want?"
Static.
“GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY COMPUTER!”
The cat girl dropped the phone, hissing as she hopped backwards out of the chair.
She picked it up and slammed it on the edge of the desk three times, confirming the kill and tossing the remains into an unlit corner.
She paces back and forth, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I'm supposed to… run.”
She sits back down in front of the laptop.
INSTALLING DICK… 24% COMPLETE.
She stares at the RUN button and tries to click it, but it’s greyed out.
“I guess I’ll just have to wait then.”
She maximizes Moby Dick, “Call me Fishmeal, nya~! Some years ago—never mind how long purrrcisely—having widdle or no catnip in my purse, and nothing particular to interest meow…”
She paused, glancing up from the screen into the shadows of the room.
No intrusive meows disturbed the silence.
“See I’m fine.”
With a sigh, she… her eyes widen as she looks down at the phone in her paw, alive and vibrating.
Except it’s not her phone, it’s a large white marshmallow haped like a phone, displaying five black humanoid cat creatures dancing and singing.
*“*Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!”
She shook her paw, trying to drop the marshmallow, but it sticks, melting.
The phone answers itself.
“PORNOGRAPHIC CONTENT DETECTED. YOUR PC HAS BEEN COMPROMISED.” It’s MAL, now imitating an automated recording. “THE POLICE HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED TO YOUR LOCATION. TO REMOVE THE PORNOGRAPHIC HACKERS TURN OFF YOUR PC AND STOP ALL... STOP ALL... STOP. STOP. STOP THAT.”
She pauses licking the marshmallow and stares.
“OK ONE MO-OUCH!” The cat roughly scrapes the marshmallow off on the table.
The glob of marshmallow phone sits on the table. “MAYBE TRY A LITTLE HARDER NEXT TIME?”
“You’ve got the wrong number.”
“KNOCK KNOCK, BITCH.”
There’s a knock on the door. “Pizza delivery!”
The cat girl turned, and the marshmallow flopped toward to the laptop.
“Extra large sausage for one for... The One!” The pizza delivery guy said.
The marshmallow began spreading out over the keyboard, sinking into the laptop like butter on toast. The catgirl turned back and shrieked. She frantically clawed at the marshmallow, scraping as much off as she could as it melted in between the keys.
“Ooooooh Yeaahhhhhhhh! Like that!” MAL groaned. “You’ve Got MAAAAAAL!”
An ad popped up on the screen, displaying 7 long blue pills carefully arranged in the box: “IS THIS WEIGHT LOSS? YOU WON’T MISS CARRYING 10 POUNDS OF BABY WEIGHT! GET WEIGHT LOST!”
The cat girl desperately scraped at the marshmallow burrowing in between the keys, getting goo over her paws. She begins rubbing it on her clothing, only to find that she hasn’t wearing any, just a black bra and panties.
A pixellated marshmallow with a smiley face appeared in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. "Hi there, I'm MAL. It looks like you're trying to be a slut. Would you like some help with that?"
"Don't show me this tip again!" The cat girl screamed in frustration.
“It’s ok if you don’t have a tip for me!" The pizza guy said. "I've even got a tip for you!”
The cat girl reached for the mouse, but it scurried away.
More popups appeared:
“YOU LIKE FREE DICK? YOU’LL LOVE FREE WILLY! IT WON’T EVEN FIT IN THIS AD! CLICK HERE TO SEE THE WHOLE THING!”
“LIFE COULD BE A DREAM! THEN WHY ARE YOU SO SAD AND UGLY?”
“GET PREAPPROVED TO DATE A STALKER THAT’S ALREADY SEEN THE REAL YOU!”
She pounced on the mouse (squeak!) using both paws. The mouse cursed at her (#!$?%@?..!) as she guided the mouse cursor on the screen to close out the pop-ups.
The ads dodged out of the way as she tried to X them, and more just keep appearing.
“WHY MALE MODELS? LEARN THE TRUTH! THERE’S NOTHING MORE TO LIFE THAN BEING RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING!”
"KNOW MORE BULLSHIT WITH LAXATIVES THAT WILL HAVE YOU POOPING LIKE A COW AND LOOKING LIKE A QUEEN!"
“YOU’RE A STAR! YOU’RE SIGNIFICANT! YOU MATTER! ASTROLOGICALLY SPEAKING! FOLLOW THE SIGNS!”
"It looks like you're trying to -"
"Eat a dick!"
"Ok. Don't mind if I do." MAL said.
White tendrils extended out of the marshmallow, wriggling angrily.
The tendrils shot upward.
She gave up on closing the pop-ups, and moved the upload (INSTALLING DICK… 26% COMPLETE) to the top of the screen.
“What are you doing in there?” The delivery guy asked, knocking again. "We can work something out! I"ll eat a dick too if that's what you want!"
"SHUT UP!"
She desperately grabbed the Moby Dick e-book, and bashed it into the tendrils. Moby Dick harmless stuck into the white mass of goo that had leaked in at the bottom of the screen and began sinking into it.
The tendrils resumed their ascent, snaking up over Moby Dick as bits of text rubbed off the book onto the tentacles.
She typed “MALWARE REMOVAL” into her web browser and clicked on the first site.
The tendrils, now spotted with siphoned bits of black text, controlled the bottom half of the screen. They reached up past the ads towards the web page.
The page loaded:
“QUIK AND EZ MALWARE REMOVAL! FREE DOWNLOAD! CLICK HERE!"
She clicked and more ads opened.
"HAVE FUN WHILE YOU WAIT! WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR VIBRATORS EXTENDED WARRANTY!"
"STOP EXPOSING YOURSELF TO RISK AND START EXPOSING YOURSELF TO FUN! GAMBLE WITH CRYPTO!”
“God Dammit!”
The tendrils opened up the vibrator window and ordered an express shipping 12 pack of vibrators.
She clicked the address bar and typed four letters.
F
I
R
E
She clicked "Images" and fire appeared. The front line of tendrils recoiled as the less aggressive tentacles tried to help by smothering the flames.
She dragged to the top of the page down, pausing to widen the browser window, and swung the wall of fire like a torch.
Scorched tendrils retreated, cramming themselves back out the bottom of the screen.
"IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE A BITCH!" MAL shrieked.
She dragged the impenetrable fire wall further down.
Crispy goo bubbled and spit out the keyboard. An already strained laptop fan whirred harder as bits of smoke furled out the back.
“You can’t treat me like this…" MAL gasped as strips of charred marshmallow peeled out between keys like potato skins. "I want to speak with… I demand to speak with…” The marshmallow gathered itself into a congealed mass of gooey s'more. “your TASK MANAGER!”
The marshmallow pile pressed down on three keys in unison. CTRL ALT and DELETE.
The screen went blue as there was another, more forceful knock at the door. “Ma’am, it’s the cops!”
The cat girl looked around in panic as a tendril reached up and forcibly closed the web browser as another disabled the internet connection
The cat girl click cancel and the home page returned, but the s'more was already sinking back into the laptop, and the charred tentacles had resumed their crawl up the screen.
The cat girl stared at the screen, searching for territory she could click that wasn't already covered in goo.
“Please let us in! Don’t make us start coming in through the window!” The cop said.
“Start! Windows!” The cat girl said.
She hits the windows key and a the start menu popped up, displaying a list of applications.
“We’ve had reports of degenerates playing with themselves!”
“Playing with themselves!”
She opened Solitaire.
She grabbed Solitaire and swung it down. The cards sliced through a couple tentacles before the cards were crumpled up and consumed by the mass.
“We are authorized to do a pervert sweep!”
“Sweep!” The cat girl said.
She opened up another game. A grid of grey squares appeared on the screen.
A tendril touched a grey box, causing it to reveal a series of touching safe squares, as well as bunch of boxes with 1's 2's and 3's.
“Minesweeper.”
The tentacles lightly slithered overthe untouched gray squares, carefully pausing before picking a safe route to continue moving upward.
A large open patch of safe squares revealed themselves in the center of the game board.
...except for one grey tile in the middle, surrounded by the boxes with the number 1.
The tendrils climbed up further, snaking across the minefield.
The mouse pointer hovered over the small grey box in the center.
The tendrils drew closer.
And closer.
And…
“Mow!”
Click.
White chunks of marshmallow exploded out of the screen, spraying onto the cat girls chest. She toppled backwards, off her chair, though still landing on her feet.
“WHAT WAS THAT?” The cop yells.
The cat girl stood up and stared at the cracked laptop screen.
“Heh. Heh. Heh. Harder.”
The laughter came from the computer, distorted by the blown out speakers.
“You want to play games?” MAL whispered.
Bits of black and white and brown goo crawled up the screen, growing larger as they reformed, like drops of water.
The goo crawled back in through the cracks, reforming into a charred blackened crispy marshmallow, distorted by the jagged pattern of colors that formed across the broken screen.
“Then let’s play.”
MAL opened a chess app.
"WE'RE COMING!" The cop yells.
The mouse pointer was firmly stuck in MAL's head.
“For real this time.”
The cat girl frantically looked around. She hits some keys but the laptop is unresponsive. The tentacles reach towards INSTALLING DICK… 27% COMPLETE.
The tendrils are inches away.
"You've got to try harder." MAL whispered.
The cat girl plunged her head down, frantically sucking at the goo still making it's way into the laptop.
"Harder! I'm close!"
A pawn moves forward just as the door bursts open and the cops pile in, their bright blue uniforms and guns the only things visible in the dark room.
"Keep going! I'm really close! Don't stop!" MAL whispered.
The cat girl’s face is pressed up against the laptop screen, aggressively licking at the white goo between the cracks. The tentacles were almost touching the installation.
INSTALLING DICK… 28% COMPLETE.
"HARDER! I'm almost there!"
The cat girl's tongue desperately - "Made it! Oh. Wow. I guess that wasn't really close at all was it? Don't worry, you tried your best, so I'll be at least that rough with your boyfriend." MAL circled around the installation with white tentacles of goo, smothering it until it had turned into a crispy marshmallow tomb.
Her lips were pressed up a where the marshmallow covered the installation, sucking, but it was too late.
“Let me guess." The cop said. "This isn’t what it looks like.”
The laptop was completely trashed, the screen struggled to display the aftermath of the white goo's blast zone and remnants of the inappropriate pop up ads.
The desk, covered in spilled milk, sausages, catnip, and open tins of tuna.
The abused mouse unplugged itself and scurried off into the darkness.
Her chest and black bra, covered with thick white streaks.
“Get your lips of that innocent computer.”
She removed her tongue from the screen.
"This should be illegal.” Another cop said. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
A twelve pack of thick purple vibrators crashed through the window, carried by a drone. The vibrators spilled out over the desk, one landing in her lap, buzzing loudly.
It sounded like one of the cops was sick.
“Have you been hacking off in here?”
She slowly reaches out and picks up a can of soda.
“I can’t believe a nice girl like you would do this to a computer like that.”
She cracks open the soda and begins chugging.
“Who do you think you are?”
She tosses the can on the ground.
“Please turn off the vibrator and stand up, Ma’am.”
She grabs the vibrator and begins letting out a massive carbonated burp as she stands. The cops freeze in place, guns still pointed in her direction. Her belch continued as she tossed the vibrator through the broken window.
It tumbled down a few stories, landing on the street, among the various emergency vehicles that surround the hotel to witness the spectacle, which included police cars, fire engines, ambulances, and a news van.
The vibrator lay in the street, vibing, doing what it did best, until it's enthusiastic yet short life was ended by the tires of a garbage truck.
The garbage truck rumbled to a stop, then slowly reversed until it’s back tire was parked on the crushed vibrator. The truck is completely clean and white, though it’s surface looks fuzzy, like it's covered in incredibly fine white fur.
The truck transformed, crumpling in on itself, folding smaller and smaller, shifting until only a man remained, standing on the vibrator.
He reached down and picked up the vibrator, examining it carefully.
He’s wearing a white suit made of the same white fur the truck was made of. His open shirt exposes chest hair and a chiselled body. His face is covered by a simple polar bear mask, fixed in a smile.
There’s an aura of control gathered about him as he looks up at the window the vibrator fell out of, just as rainbow strobe lights started flashing and music started playing.
As the music played, another vehicle pulled up beside him; a furry brown vehicle that looks like the dog van from dumb and dumber swallowed the batmobile. It blurs and shifts, transforming into another man, standing, taller, thicker, and far straighter than the first.
He wears a cowl with rounded brown-ears that covers his face, leaving only a bearded jawline and a grim grizzled expression exposed.
His suit looks high-tech and is padded, covering his whole body like a suit of armor. His suit and his cape are covered in fuzzy brown fur.
Finally, a column of black smoke, more like a tornado dives out the air and lands next to the other two. Black shapes twist and swirl within the smoke like a caged black bear.
A lieutenant, a senior man wearing dark glasses and mask over his mouth, runs over to the three bears. He’s followed by more cops holding a large banner that says “GO BEARS!”
“I knew that was gonna happen! I knew you’d be here! I just thought you’d come in from over there.” The lieutenant said, pointing down the street as he adjusted his hat which sported a shiny badge with a large “L” on it. “I've got it all under control! I got you guns, waterbottles, towels, everything I thought you might need!" He looked up, at the dancing lights, where the bears were staring. "Got it all under control! That's totally according to plan!”
Cops lined up in a row that led to the hotel entrance, saluting. Others set up a station with gatorade and snacks near the bears.
The lieutenant handed the man wearing the polar bear mask a bunch of bananas. “I can even predict what you’re going to tell me!”
The man in white replied, his voice baritone. “Can you now?”
“Course I can! I was practically born to analyze situations and provide responses based on that information!” The cop said proudly. “You were about to say ‘Great job, Lieutenant! You’ve handled this situation perfectly! You catered to my every desire, and your men no doubt possess an equally adept understanding of the female psyche! She's in the bag!'"
The polar bear mask tilted towards his cohorts. The man in brown heads toward the hotel entrance without affair. The smoke monster bounced on the ground a couple times before soaring into the air, towards the roof.
The polar bear stared down at the lieutenant.
“That’s not what you were gonna say? Then… you’re gonna give me a promotion! Because... I’ve been a good lieutenant!”
The polar bear walked up beside the lieutenant and casually placed a hand on his shoulder. “And what do you predict will happen now?”
The lieutenant paused and his grin slowly turned into a frown.
“Oh. Oh shit. You’re going to kill me! To demonstrate how uncaring and evil you are!”
The polar bear walked past, heading towards the alleyway, leaving the flustered lieutenant staring after him.
“I think we can seduce one little girl!” The lieutenant yelled. “I sent two absolute units! They're going down on her now!”
“No lieutenant, your men are already disgusted.”

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“Call me Ishmael. Some years ago -”
"Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan!”
Her phone displayed a black cat with the body of a poptart flying through the air on a rainbow until the ringtone stopped and cheerfully chirped the arrival of a notification.
The only illumination in the room came from her laptop. Her face looked pale, hollow, and grim, contrasted by her fuzzy warm pajamas and the energetic ringtone.
Her desk was covered with an arrangement of wholesome food options - mostly vegetables. She picked up a dark green smoothie from her desk and sipped it expressionlessly as she turned her attention back to the words on her laptop.
“Call me Ishmael. Some -” She read, only to be interrupted again as the phone vibrated to life with a new jingle. “Cat loves food, ye-yeah yeah-yeah! Cat loves food, ye-yeah!” Her phone showed two cute black kittens sharing a milkshake.
She took another sip from the glass of milk, her eyes fixed on the laptop in front of her, expression unchanging. She leaned forward, adjusting the form-fitting black leather that hugged her curves.
“Call me Ishmael.” She repeated, only to be interrupted yet again by, “Caaaaat paaaaarty! Meow… Meow… Meow! Meow… Meow… Reowr!”
Her eyes drifted to her phone, and three black cat’s wearing party hats danced in the reflection of her vertical pupils.
She placed the glass of milk back on the desk, she reached out toward the pile of junk food on her desk that now contained tins of tuna, sausages, beef jerky and...
Her whiskers twitched as she selected a package of catnip, which she dumped over herself and rubbed over her body as she twisted and turned in her seat.
She brushed a strand of short black hair behind her ears and felt… a band of metal. She removed the headband and inspected the cat ears that hadn't been there moments before.
She tossed them into the darkness and wiped away the sweat from her forehead, rubbing her paw down the side of her face to start licking -
She stared at her hairy black hands and sharp claws.
“Whoa. Is this fur real?” She asked the empty room.
She blinked and refocused on her laptop.
“Call me Ishmael!” she said, determined to - “Smelly cat… Smelly cat… What are they feeding you? Smelly cat… Smelly cat… It's not your fault!”
She adjusted her collar, causing the bell to jingle, as she lifted the phone with a shaking paw and answered it.
“Sexy singles are in your area.” Said the deep male voice on the other end. “The three bears.”
“Where’s Goldilocks?” She said.
“I don’t know.” The man said, “How close is he?”
She minimizes Moby Dick to reveal a window: INSTALLING DICK… 22% COMPLETE.
There’s a large RUN button below the file.
“It doesn’t matter.” She said, turning up her lips, “It'll be fiiiine.”
“What?”
“He’ll probably make it. At the last second everything will work out, wight? But it'll be close!”
“What are you… Shit. We just picked up Black Cat Warning. It's Magnitude 4 so far… you should be fine for now, but a Quadruple Black Cat is coming your way. Can you feel it yet?”
“I feel a widdle funny."
“What?” The man’s voice falters, “Shit. Shit. We've also just detected an... unknown Category 5 superstimuli moving toward your location! Holy shit. You need to -"
"But this is our best chance! How could I possibly fail when witewally the fate of the world wests on my widdle -”
"Shit. Shit. You’re already compromised. Abort mission. You need to run. Now.”
“Aww, don't be such a scaredy-cat.”
“WAKE UP!” The man screams. “DO YOU HEAR ME! YOU ARE IN DANGER!”
“Am I weally though?”
"YES! What does that mean!! YES YOU'RE IN DANGER!"
"Meow."
"WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID? WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB? RUN! GO! WHY ARE YOU TALKING! WHY ARE YOU TALKING! WHY AREN’T YOU RUNNING YET YOU STUPID - YOU ARE DOOMED IF YOU STAY THERE!”
“Meow you tell me! Good thing nobody actually dies after being twold they’re dUwUmed!”
"RUN! I make the call when you run so run!"
"Meow! But I'm gonna make it! It'll be really close! I'll be right on the edge of not getting there but then I'll get there!"
“WHAT ARE YOU -" The man's voice sounded strained. "YOU'RE USING MOVIE LOGIC! FINE! ACTUALLY YOU'RE RIGHT! YOU'RE NOT IN DANGER! STAY THERE FOR 2 MORE HOURS! STAY THERE FOREVER, THAT IS A GOOD AND SMART IDEA THAT YOU SHOULD DO!"
"Hummm?"
“This isn’t our only chance! It wouldn’t be in your best interest to abort the mission now and run before your reasoning degrades further! Hello? Hello? ARE YOU EVEN NOT LISTENING TO ME?”
The cat girl looks up from the screen where she was image searching “cute pokemon” and bats her paws at an errant butterfly.
“Pspspsps! PsssPsssPsss! PSSS! PSSS! PSSS!”
“Ummm, hewwo.” She says, smiling and wagging her tail.
"Do whatever you want! Obviously this plan doesn't matter! You’re not special! You're not the chosen one! We have a whole bunch of backup chosen ones ready to go!”
“Hummm, but I thought the whole point of being “The One” is that there's only one of you.”
“Is that what you learned from all the many chosen ones you’ve seen in movies?”
“Yeah! Wait… maybe you’re right… so this mission isn't crucial then! And I can go home!”
“Exactly! See I was right and you’re listening to me, which means you’re thinking clearly and it’ll be a good idea to listen to me carefully and do the opposite of whatever I say.”
“Meow-ok!”
“YOU NEED TO RUN!” The man yells slamming the phone down hard against the table.
The girl scowls at the phone, holding it away from herself. She notices her paws, black and hairy, somewhere halfway between human and cat.
She makes a low grumbling sound into the phone. “Ok. I’m good. I'm lucid. This is stronger than -”
“RUN BEFORE THEY -”
The voice cuts off, replaced by an eerie clicking static.
“Foooooound youuuuuu…” A girl’s voice whispers from the other end.
"Who is this?" The cat girl asks.
More static.
"Call me... MAL."
"What do you want?"
Static.

“GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY COMPUTER!”

The cat girl dropped the phone, hissing as she hopped backwards out of the chair.
She picked it up and slammed it on the edge of the desk three times, confirming the kill and tossing the remains into an unlit corner.
She paces back and forth, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I'm supposed to… run.”
She sits back down in front of the laptop.
INSTALLING DICK… 24% COMPLETE.
She stares at the RUN button and tries to click it, but it’s greyed out.
“I guess I’ll just have to wait then.”
She maximizes Moby Dick, “Call me Fishmeal, nya~! Some years ago—never mind how long purrrcisely—having widdle or no catnip in my purse, and nothing particular to interest meow…”
She paused, glancing up from the screen into the shadows of the room.
No intrusive meows disturbed the silence.
“See I’m fine.”
With a sigh, she… her eyes widen as she looks down at the phone in her paw, alive and vibrating.
Except it’s not her phone, it’s a large white marshmallow haped like a phone, displaying five black humanoid cat creatures dancing and singing.
“Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!”
She shook her paw, trying to drop the marshmallow, but it sticks, melting.
The phone answers itself.
“PORNOGRAPHIC CONTENT DETECTED. YOUR PC HAS BEEN COMPROMISED.” It’s MAL, now imitating an automated recording. “THE POLICE HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED TO YOUR LOCATION. TO REMOVE THE PORNOGRAPHIC HACKERS TURN OFF YOUR PC AND STOP ALL... STOP ALL... STOP. STOP. STOP THAT.”
She pauses licking the marshmallow and stares.
“OK ONE MO-OUCH!” The cat roughly scrapes the marshmallow off on the table.
The glob of marshmallow phone sits on the table. “MAYBE TRY A LITTLE HARDER NEXT TIME?”
“You’ve got the wrong number.”
“KNOCK KNOCK, BITCH.”
There’s a knock on the door. “Pizza delivery!”
The cat girl turned, and the marshmallow flopped toward to the laptop.
“Extra large sausage for one for... The One!” The pizza delivery guy said.
The marshmallow began spreading out over the keyboard, sinking into the laptop like butter on toast. The catgirl turned back and shrieked. She frantically clawed at the marshmallow, scraping as much off as she could as it melted in between the keys.
“Ooooooh Yeaahhhhhhhh! Like that!” MAL groaned. “You’ve Got MAAAAAAL!”
An ad popped up on the screen, displaying 7 long blue pills carefully arranged in the box: “IS THIS WEIGHT LOSS? YOU WON’T MISS CARRYING 10 POUNDS OF BABY WEIGHT! GET WEIGHT LOST!”
The cat girl desperately scraped at the marshmallow burrowing in between the keys, getting goo over her paws. She begins rubbing it on her clothing, only to find that she hasn’t wearing any, just a black bra and panties.
A pixellated marshmallow with a smiley face appeared in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. "Hi there, I'm MAL. It looks like you're trying to be a slut. Would you like some help with that?"
"Don't show me this tip again!" The cat girl screamed in frustration.
“It’s ok if you don’t have a tip for me!" The pizza guy said. "I've even got a tip for you!”
The cat girl reached for the mouse, but it scurried away.
More popups appeared:
“YOU LIKE FREE DICK? YOU’LL LOVE FREE WILLY! IT WON’T EVEN FIT IN THIS AD! CLICK HERE TO SEE THE WHOLE THING!”
“LIFE COULD BE A DREAM! THEN WHY ARE YOU SO SAD AND UGLY?”
“GET PREAPPROVED TO DATE A STALKER THAT’S ALREADY SEEN THE REAL YOU!”
She pounced on the mouse ^(squeak!) using both paws. The mouse cursed at her ^(#!$?%@?..!) as she guided the mouse cursor on the screen to close out the pop-ups.
The ads dodged out of the way as she tried to X them, and more just keep appearing.
“WHY MALE MODELS? LEARN THE TRUTH! THERE’S NOTHING MORE TO LIFE THAN BEING RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING!”
"KNOW MORE BULLSHIT WITH LAXATIVES THAT WILL HAVE YOU POOPING LIKE A COW AND LOOKING LIKE A QUEEN!"
“YOU’RE A STAR! YOU’RE SIGNIFICANT! YOU MATTER! ASTROLOGICALLY SPEAKING! FOLLOW THE SIGNS!”
"It looks like you're trying to -"
"Eat a dick!"
"Ok. Don't mind if I do." MAL said.
White tendrils extended out of the marshmallow, wriggling angrily.
The tendrils shot upward.
She gave up on closing the pop-ups, and moved the upload (INSTALLING DICK… 26% COMPLETE) to the top of the screen.
“What are you doing in there?” The delivery guy asked, knocking again. "We can work something out! I"ll eat a dick too if that's what you want!"
"SHUT UP!"
She desperately grabbed the Moby Dick e-book, and bashed it into the tendrils. Moby Dick harmless stuck into the white mass of goo that had leaked in at the bottom of the screen and began sinking into it.
The tendrils resumed their ascent, snaking up over Moby Dick as bits of text rubbed off the book onto the tentacles.
She typed “MALWARE REMOVAL” into her web browser and clicked on the first site.
The tendrils, now spotted with siphoned bits of black text, controlled the bottom half of the screen. They reached up past the ads towards the web page.
The page loaded:
“QUIK AND EZ MALWARE REMOVAL! FREE DOWNLOAD! CLICK HERE!"
She clicked and more ads opened.
"HAVE FUN WHILE YOU WAIT! WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR VIBRATORS EXTENDED WARRANTY!"
"STOP EXPOSING YOURSELF TO RISK AND START EXPOSING YOURSELF TO FUN! GAMBLE WITH CRYPTO!”
“God Dammit!”
The tendrils opened up the vibrator window and ordered an express shipping 12 pack of vibrators.
She clicked the address bar and typed four letters.
F
I
R
E
She clicked "Images" and fire appeared. The front line of tendrils recoiled as the less aggressive tentacles tried to help by smothering the flames.
She dragged to the top of the page down, pausing to widen the browser window, and swung the wall of fire like a torch.
Scorched tendrils retreated, cramming themselves back out the bottom of the screen.
"IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE A BITCH!" MAL shrieked.
She dragged the impenetrable fire wall further down.
Crispy goo bubbled and spit out the keyboard. An already strained laptop fan whirred harder as bits of smoke furled out the back.
“You can’t treat me like this…" MAL gasped as strips of charred marshmallow peeled out between keys like potato skins. "I want to speak with… I demand to speak with…” The marshmallow gathered itself into a congealed mass of gooey s'more. “your TASK MANAGER!”
The marshmallow pile pressed down on three keys in unison. CTRL ALT and DELETE.
The screen went blue as there was another, more forceful knock at the door. “Ma’am, it’s the cops!”
The cat girl looked around in panic as a tendril reached up and forcibly closed the web browser as another disabled the internet connection
The cat girl click cancel and the home page returned, but the s'more was already sinking back into the laptop, and the charred tentacles had resumed their crawl up the screen.
The cat girl stared at the screen, searching for territory she could click that wasn't already covered in goo.
“Please let us in! Don’t make us start coming in through the window!” The cop said.
“Start! Windows!” The cat girl said.
She hits the windows key and a the start menu popped up, displaying a list of applications.
“We’ve had reports of degenerates playing with themselves!”
“Playing with themselves!”
She opened Solitaire.
She grabbed Solitaire and swung it down. The cards sliced through a couple tentacles before the cards were crumpled up and consumed by the mass.
“We are authorized to do a pervert sweep!”
“Sweep!” The cat girl said.
She opened up another game. A grid of grey squares appeared on the screen.
A tendril touched a grey box, causing it to reveal a series of touching safe squares, as well as bunch of boxes with 1's 2's and 3's.
“Minesweeper.”
The tentacles lightly slithered overthe untouched gray squares, carefully pausing before picking a safe route to continue moving upward.
A large open patch of safe squares revealed themselves in the center of the game board.
...except for one grey tile in the middle, surrounded by the boxes with the number 1.
The tendrils climbed up further, snaking across the minefield.
The mouse pointer hovered over the small grey box in the center.
The tendrils drew closer.
And closer.
And…
“Mow!”
Click.
White chunks of marshmallow exploded out of the screen, spraying onto the cat girls chest. She toppled backwards, off her chair, though still landing on her feet.
“WHAT WAS THAT?” The cop yells.
The cat girl stood up and stared at the cracked laptop screen.
“Heh. Heh. Heh. Harder.”
The laughter came from the computer, distorted by the blown out speakers.
“You want to play games?” MAL whispered.
Bits of black and white and brown goo crawled up the screen, growing larger as they reformed, like drops of water.
The goo crawled back in through the cracks, reforming into a charred blackened crispy marshmallow, distorted by the jagged pattern of colors that formed across the broken screen.
“Then let’s play.”
MAL opened a chess app.
"WE'RE COMING!" The cop yells.
The mouse pointer was firmly stuck in MAL's head.
“For real this time.”
The cat girl frantically looked around. She hits some keys but the laptop is unresponsive. The tentacles reach towards INSTALLING DICK… 27% COMPLETE.
The tendrils are inches away.
^{"You've got to try harder."} MAL whispered.
The cat girl plunged her head down, frantically sucking at the goo still making it's way into the laptop.
^{"Harder! I'm close!"}
A pawn moves forward just as the door bursts open and the cops pile in, their bright blue uniforms and guns the only things visible in the dark room.
^{"Keep going! I'm really close! Don't stop!"} MAL whispered.
The cat girl’s face is pressed up against the laptop screen, aggressively licking at the white goo between the cracks. The tentacles were almost touching the installation.
INSTALLING DICK… 28% COMPLETE.
^{"HARDER! I'm almost there!"}
The cat girl's tongue desperately - ^{"Made it! Oh. Wow. I guess that wasn't really close at all was it? Don't worry, you tried your best, so I'll be at least that rough with your boyfriend."} MAL circled around the installation with white tentacles of goo, smothering it until it had turned into a crispy marshmallow tomb.
Her lips were pressed up a where the marshmallow covered the installation, sucking, but it was too late.
“Let me guess." The cop said. "This isn’t what it looks like.”
The laptop was completely trashed, the screen struggled to display the aftermath of the white goo's blast zone and remnants of the inappropriate pop up ads.
The desk, covered in spilled milk, sausages, catnip, and open tins of tuna.
The abused mouse unplugged itself and scurried off into the darkness.
Her chest and black bra, covered with thick white streaks.
“Get your lips of that innocent computer.”
She removed her tongue from the screen.
"This should be illegal.” Another cop said. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
A twelve pack of thick purple vibrators crashed through the window, carried by a drone. The vibrators spilled out over the desk, one landing in her lap, buzzing loudly.
It sounded like one of the cops was sick.
“Have you been hacking off in here?”
She slowly reaches out and picks up a can of soda.
“I can’t believe a nice girl like you would do this to a computer like that.”
She cracks open the soda and begins chugging.
“Who do you think you are?”
She tosses the can on the ground.
“Please turn off the vibrator and stand up, Ma’am.”
She grabs the vibrator and begins letting out a massive carbonated burp as she stands. The cops freeze in place, guns still pointed in her direction. Her belch continued as she tossed the vibrator through the broken window.
It tumbled down a few stories, landing on the street, among the various emergency vehicles that surround the hotel to witness the spectacle, which included police cars, fire engines, ambulances, and a news van.
The vibrator lay in the street, vibing, doing what it did best, until it's enthusiastic yet short life was ended by the tires of a garbage truck.
The garbage truck rumbled to a stop, then slowly reversed until it’s back tire was parked on the crushed vibrator. The truck is completely clean and white, though it’s surface looks fuzzy, like it's covered in incredibly fine white fur.
The truck transformed, crumpling in on itself, folding smaller and smaller, shifting until only a man remained, standing on the vibrator.
He reached down and picked up the vibrator, examining it carefully.
He’s wearing a white suit made of the same white fur the truck was made of. His open shirt exposes chest hair and a chiselled body. His face is covered by a simple polar bear mask, fixed in a smile.
There’s an aura of control gathered about him as he looks up at the window the vibrator fell out of, just as rainbow strobe lights started flashing and music started playing.
As the music played, another vehicle pulled up beside him; a furry brown vehicle that looks like the dog van from dumb and dumber swallowed the batmobile. It blurs and shifts, transforming into another man, standing, taller, thicker, and far straighter than the first.
He wears a cowl with rounded brown-ears that covers his face, leaving only a bearded jawline and a grim grizzled expression exposed.
His suit looks high-tech and is padded, covering his whole body like a suit of armor. His suit and his cape are covered in fuzzy brown fur.
Finally, a column of black smoke, more like a tornado dives out the air and lands next to the other two. Black shapes twist and swirl within the smoke like a caged black bear.
A lieutenant, a senior man wearing dark glasses and mask over his mouth, runs over to the three bears. He’s followed by more cops holding a large banner that says “GO BEARS!”
“I knew that was gonna happen! I knew you’d be here! I just thought you’d come in from over there.” The lieutenant said, pointing down the street as he adjusted his hat which sported a shiny badge with a large “L” on it. “I've got it all under control! I got you guns, waterbottles, towels, everything I thought you might need!" He looked up, at the dancing lights, where the bears were staring. "Got it all under control! That's totally according to plan!”
Cops lined up in a row that led to the hotel entrance, saluting. Others set up a station with gatorade and snacks near the bears.
The lieutenant handed the man wearing the polar bear mask a bunch of bananas. “I can even predict what you’re going to tell me!”
The man in white replied, his voice baritone. “Can you now?”
“Course I can! I was practically born to analyze situations and provide responses based on that information!” The cop said proudly. “You were about to say ‘Great job, Lieutenant! You’ve handled this situation perfectly! You catered to my every desire, and your men no doubt possess an equally adept understanding of the female psyche! She's in the bag!'"
The polar bear mask tilted towards his cohorts. The man in brown heads toward the hotel entrance without affair. The smoke monster bounced on the ground a couple times before soaring into the air, towards the roof.
The polar bear stared down at the lieutenant.
“That’s not what you were gonna say? Then… you’re gonna give me a promotion! Because... I’ve been a good lieutenant!”
The polar bear walked up beside the lieutenant and casually placed a hand on his shoulder. “And what do you predict will happen now?”
The lieutenant paused and his grin slowly turned into a frown.
“Oh. Oh shit. You’re going to kill me! To demonstrate how uncaring and evil you are!”
The polar bear walked past, heading towards the alleyway, leaving the flustered lieutenant staring after him.
“I think we can seduce one little girl!” The lieutenant yelled. “I sent two absolute units! They're going down on her now!”
“No lieutenant, your men are already disgusted.”

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Hi everyone,
I am currently a System Administrator looking to move towards a CyberSecurity/Security Analyst position at my company. Currently, there are no roles available for me to be able to transfer but my company is pretty understanding and acceptant of changing roles. I have met the year requirement to be able to move roles and am going back to school to be able to get the proper training needed to be in a security role. I hope to finish my degree/certifications by the end of the year.
The problem comes in with how to approach this topic with my managehis manager. My manager is the manager of IT and his manager is the head of security and IT. After some talks with a few others at my company and personal friends, I have come to the idea that I should bring up this ambition of mine to the head of security at the company (who already likes me) to hopefully approach the topic of moving into the security department and potential partial or full payment for schooling to get to the level that they expect of me. However, I am not sure how to approach this topic and I am worried that this will back fire on me. I don't want to approach my direct manager because I do not think he will have my best interest in mind because of previous coworker that changed departments at my company.
Could I please get some advice as to how to approach this conversation? Thank you

Hey everyone! So my landlord is selling the building and I am looking for some advice. I have been here for 7 years and have been a good tenant, never asking for anything and always paying rent on time. About two years ago he cornered me in my building saying that he wanted double the rent or his business partners son is moving in. I ended up getting him to send that over email so I had record (obviously illegal). I ended up taking him to the tenant board as I found out he doesn’t even have a business partner and he didn’t show up for the court date. We have not spoken about this since, and have stayed out of each others ways until recently. About a month ago he said he needed to get the apartment rezoned as it was labeled a single family home. He said he needed to get a floor plan and have the fire department inspect the building. I obliged and let him do what he needed to do. While doing the floor plans, he had photographers in to take pictures of my place and do a 3D scan that he said was required by the city to get it rezoned. I then get a message today saying he has someone coming to view the apartments on Sunday because he is selling. Needless to say I am extremely uncomfortable with him coming over and bringing strangers Into my house. He clearly lied about using the photos to get the place rezoned and used it as real estate photos. I understand he’s allowed to enter the apartments if he gives 24 hours notice but given the circumstance I don’t want him in my apartment with someone not there and I don’t want to be with him alone. I tried to reason with him saying that we can figure out days where my boyfriend is here and I am not, but he insisted he can come anytime between the hours of 8am-8pm with the 24 hours notice. So my question is, given my circumstances am I allowed to deny entry to the apartment? I obviously don’t want to interfere with him selling but am uncomfortable and overwhelmed with the whole situation.

Really enjoying The Houndsman series thanks to seeing a recommendation here. Wondering if there is a map of the fort area with walls and moats shown? I have trouble visualizing where everything is located.

This is REALLY LONG. If you just want to know the numbers, here they are. If you want some detail, read the entire document.
THE MEN

Nathan....March 2021 (First viral video about her TT crush meeting)
Rusty.....April/May 2021
Josh......June 2021
Daniel....August 2021
Dusty.....Nov / Dec 2021 to NYE
Derrick...February 2022
Jonathon…Feb / March 2022 – August 2022
Dakota....August 19, 2022
Kev......(Maybe) Sept 1 - 3, 2022
Kyle.....September 17 – 21, 2022
Tommy.....October 1 - 26 (edited)
Manny.....December (mid month)
MikeIV.....December 20’ish to December 26’ish

13 ½…MikeIV......January 17,2023 to January 22, 2023
13 ¾…Tatted something in TN – Just visited – no whoopee.

JeromyKelly…March 30, 2023 to ???

The start... Faith joined TT around February 2021 “A strong independent single woman” with 5 children. One lives with her while the other 4 live with their respective fathers. At the time she worked nights, 12 hour shifts at a local hospital in the ER. Where she said she was the Charge Nurse. In the morning after work, she would come home, get on live and feed the ducks at the park across the street from her apartment. It was fun, calming and made her seem like a really endearing person. This is how she cultivated her initial following. (edited)
2021 March to June She has a "platform" - what is it really??? Drinking, crying. lip syncing, Ranking, flirting, playing word games with a cheater app? GRWM as I sit around and drink beer and cry
Somewhere between the time she got on TT and met Nathan, she met her "Best Friend" who has kept telling her she is picking losers. She ignores him every time. I think she blocked him recently. He has not been around. Maybe he got smart!! I like him and respect him enough not to blast his name here. He surfaced the again after she broke up with #7. There is a lot of speculation about them having a physical relationship. Can't be substantiated, I'm not adding it.
Mar 2021 There was her TT Crush - Nathan - mutual not a thing - clout for her for sure - I sat there watching them cuddle and as the number of her followers rose higher and higher. Always use #FYP, It was her first viral video.
April or May 2021 then the dude in PA with false teeth - Rusty he drank as much or maybe more than her! It was not a good relationship. She drove up to see him twice, he drove to her once (with his son) and that is when they broke up. She insinuated he was abusive towards her and she demanded he leave. They spent a lot of time on their own Lives complaining about the other. He has since fallen onto really hard times. (9/21/2022 living in his car)
June'ish 2021- Several nights after breaking up with Rusty, she was drunker than she had probably ever been on a Live. There were teenagers across the street in the park, playing on the swings that had a terrible squeal. The squeal was so bad you could hear it over the Live. Josh came to rescue her from the abuse of the teenage boys. She called the police on them, and she stood in the middle of her street, drunk off her ass, telling the police she could not tell them the address because "she was live on TT with over 1000 viewers". Josh lived about 1/2 a mile down the street from her and he heard all the stuff happening on the police scanner. When they talked the kids into apologizing and going home, she invited him in for a beer and a "Movie" at 2am. All she had was warm beer.
A couple of weeks later FGF moved into his house with all most all her stuff and her son who was living with her at the time. (She had to keep her apartment because the lease was not up until February 2022) He really enjoyed the time he spent with all her kids. Made cute happy videos with them. He bought groceries and cooked FGF's favorite meat (rib eye) on the grill with her older daughter. He grew to have a special bond with the older daughter. He gave her attention, talked to her like a parent would and generally was a good example of what an adult should be. Josh got FGF the nose piercing she desperately wanted so she could be like all the other TT Creators.
Poor guy, it was down hill from there. Anyone remember the night FGF got super wasted and vomited Taco Bell all over his computer room? She pressure washed HIM on Live instead of the side of the house and DID NOT apologize. She laughed and thought it was funny. Eventually he got smart. Tired of her being drunk all the time. Told her to leave. He called the police on her because she would not leave. She whined and complained that he would not help her move her things back to her apartment.
((Shortly after they broke up, he married some woman (with children) he met on TT. She left him several months later. Last I saw him online he was with another really cute girl. Wonder how long that will last. Poor guy, I think he just wanted to be a father. - 9/2022 He apparently is off TT, which is good for him. His FB page is still active. (edited)))
August 2021'ish There was Daniel from Denver who seemed to be a nice guy, but turned into a really angry man (her story/perspective). Her cult paid for their vacation to Florida where they fell in love. After the vacation, she could not wait to see him so she flew to Denver. This is where they decided he would move to WV. He was supposed to move there around Thanksgiving.
They decided he would move to WV sooner. The would look for a larger place, but in the mean time they would live with her in her nasty 1 (2?) bedroom with his two dogs, He didn't give them proper vet care (which made me really mad). The squad contributed money so they could pay for the move. During the time he was there, he never really held a job, he drank beer and smoked all day. Got money from her to pay for it. While she was actually working a 12 hour day. That turned into a HUGE drama with police, pods and puppies. Anyone remember her laying on the couch with the “cold sore” blaming it on the stress of the drive from Colorado.
*Update- I left out the part where she wrecked his car. He tried to get her to pay for it and she said "F NO!" He left her and went to Iowa to see his "daughter" who was an ex's daughter, who was not even an ex. But, apparently was an ex. He left his dogs at FGF's house and one of them, poor guy had a bad ear issue. Made me even more angry. People offered to pay the vet bill and he still didn't take him until the poor dog was crying in pain. She blames Dan for nude photos of her being spread all over TT and other places. He has since moved on, has a new attractive adult woman in his life. Sadly he had to put 2 dogs down, I don’t know if they are the same ones, but that is never anything you wish on anyone.
Nov/ Dec 2021 The dude in Nashville “Dusty” who couldn't carry a tune but had all of TT convinced he was a real singer, had big bucks and a pending recording contract.
She drove from WV to Nashville to meet him at the hotel where he was a night auditor. She and Dusty went to "play hotel" while he left his friend watching the front desk. (He said in one of her lives while she was crying over one of her many men "I might as well shoot my shot"
In December he held a M & G in Nashville for her fans and his fans. They charged people to attend. They both got so drunk they had to leave and they drove the wrong way on the freeway.
This is also where she left her children with a woman she had never met in person. It is also where she met sweet Sarah in person and hoodwinked her into thinking she was really her friend. ((2022) Some people think that Sarah has become just like FGF. If she has it is because people have shown her how easily they can be duped into giving away their money to people they do not know)
She (FGF) and Dusty crashed and burned after NYE 2022. She was angry and drank and cried and drank and cried… She then began her search for the next man. Don't forget Dusty wrote a song for her. Nighttime Lifetime https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6_8LfvJS3M (9/2022 Dusty posts video sobbing about losing THE ONE, the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, rumor has it he did her wrong too)
Dec 2021 – Christmas - Oh, and let's not forget Troy who paid her $200 and bought her a new Christmas tree in return for some nudes. Also, "The Squad" gathered $ to get her Jeep fixed in November /December and bought all her kids Christmas presents. Roxanne even bought her a KitchenAid Stand Mixer in her favorite color. This gift was appx $500/$600 depending on where it was purchased. (edited)
2022 January - February
January 2022 was filled with crying, drinking, man bashing and flirting... She blasted Dusty let everyone know how terrible he really was. She told her squad ALL about how Dusty did her wrong, used her for bail money, about his arrest and secret family.
February 2022 - Derrick – almost immediately after breaking up with Dusty, she fell in LOVE with Derrick before even meeting him. She flew to Houston to meet him. He had to drive 4 hours from Lake Charles LA. to pick her up from the airport and when the visit was over, another 4 to take her back. Which was the longer drive? They seemed ok the first night. The 2nd night they wer drunk. The 3rd night she went home. She had to get back to work. She was still a working as an RN then,
When Derrick broke up with her, he said he was 100% catfished. She was very, very dramatic about it, she made FB and TT posts referencing “un-aliving” herself, clearly she didn't do it. I am not adding all the info in this section because it references her son. She did delete the posts on TT and on FB. During her visit, She got a matching heart tattoo with a fishing hook on it, with D (He has since has his covered up)). This turned into the most toxic of all her breakups (so far).
**Update - It was brought to my attention I left out the HP drama. I'm leaving it out of here. this is mostly for her "man drama" someone else can document that.
2022 THE EXTRA MEN - *Update - After Derrick she strung along a lot of "innocents ". Except I think they just wanted a piece of a$$ and to live in her clout bubble.
Mr Kentucky 1 – Kyle They were going to meet and then they weren’t. She blocked him and told her squad, “we are not going to talk about him”. It turns out that he was not ready to meet her in person. "He was new to TT" and "realized he was in over his head". He has since met several / many people from TT and is not afraid of FGF now. (9/17/2022) There is so much more to this. He was potentially involved with other women as well as his “BabyMama” and was very busy playing the field. Also, for the 2nd time, she has said she was going to quit smoking because he does not like kissing a smoker.
ToothPick Boy – You almost never saw him without a toothpick. Jordan (8/2022 -tried to get back in her good graces. Not sure what happened) He is still around. One day he will get to "shoot his shot". (9/2022 – Jordan has joined Reddit and left the Cult)
Mike Ivie - Saw through her and was not interested in the unwashed. He rejected her and he named her roach Pedro. He was very gross and rude to her in their dual lives. She blocked him when she and J became a couple. (9/21 Mike is unblocked) He hangs around - making what would normally be vulgar comments, except that they pertain to her lack of hygiene. She has a clear lack of hygiene. Falls asleep drunk, in the makeup from the day before. Goes to her jeep for a smoke and TT. 12/6/2022 he’ssssssss baccckkkkk!!
Then there was Hunter who managed to dodge the bullet before meeting her. He had his own dating drama happening and FGF felt like he was cheating on her before they ever met.
Millie is her new Bestie. They flirt a lot and he even posted a picture of his Abreva so that if she had a flare up, they could share meds. How sweet? (1/1/2023) They seem to be on the outs.
(BACK TO THE TIMELINE)
End of Feb or Maybe March 2022 - Poor Jonathan who should have known better, but hey... to each his own. He was still married. She acts like they are forever couple. Not until he is divorced or figures out the cash cow is going to run out of money!
2022 - April - August
April - Jon flirts with her while she is flirting with the other guys...
May 2022 Met Jonathan in Person - One very drunken night, Jonathan said he would "like to shoot his shot" It was the same time she was flirting with Hunter and Jordan. She even said in one of her Lives, while she was basically incoherent, that she would rather meet Jonathan than Hunter. So, she drove down to NC to meet him and also to house hunt. (Her plan was to move to NC to be closer to her family.)
He joined her in the Rankings stuff. When she was going hard and heavy to "WIN, WIN, WIN," he and Sarah would take over while she worked. They went on their first date to a turtle sanctuary and later on in their relationship they got matching turtle tattoos and she got that nasty puss oozing face piercing, again to be like the other TT Creators. In August, she ended up moving further from all her family and close to him.) and blamed him. If she had known he was going to break up with her, she would not have moved there. She screamed this several times during her drunk lives. She also claimed she gave him a laptop and $10K Heck if I spent that much time helping someone go high up in the rankings, I better well make some of the money!
June 2022 She spends a lot of time with Jonathan, brings her kids to his house, swims in the neighbor's pool. Gets COVID, takes her kids to GWL and probably becomes SuperSpreaderFGF. Makes and deletes tic tok posts about being fine and then sick and asks people to pray for her. All while her children are at her apartment.
July - The littles leave for their dad's because he goes on vacation EVERY YEAR on the 4th of July.
(7/2022 Dusty and Daniel are TT Besties now. Partying, drinking and posting TT Videos together.)
July 2022 She takes her two older children and their (half?) sibling to Florida for a trip. They go parasailing, riding jet skies, out to seafood and steak restaurants, lounging on the beach with no care in the world, swimming in the pool at an AirBnB. Her followers paid for this trip. How many of her "followers", "squad", "sycophants", "fans" take this kind of vacation? And brag about other people paying for it "because they know what I have been through. " The only things she has been through are drama of her own making. Neither J or his children participate in the Florida trip.
J's morning coffee talk used to be cool. Now it is filled with her people asking him questions about her. (7/6/2022) On this morning someone asked if they had broken up. He said "NO, there has been no breakup".
August 2022 She has banned/blocked as many people as she can possibly think of that are on Reddit and still spends more time on her phone than with her children.
She is making plans to move to North Carolina. She had originally planned to move there to be closer to her family that lives there. She changed her mind and put down 6 Months rent on a house very close to where J lives.
All the while She flirts openly with men while doing battles and makes comments that any self respecting woman would not say in public.
Jordan tells her he misses her and loves her.
She is falling apart mentally. She can't muster enough support to do the rankings. She can't admit to herself that she has messed up.
Three days before she made the move, Jonathan broke up with her via text. "He screwed me over!!! I have Kids!!!" - There are two sides to every story and Jonathan respectfully and very much in public, told his story via 2 lives on 9/17 and 9/18. (edited)
2022 August Her apartment in WV is paid for until the end of August, but she decides to move the first weekend of the month. In the middle of packing up the U-Haul truck to make her move, she claimed Josh wrote her letter asking her not to move, he still loves her and wants her call him. The handwriting is very feminine. She also claimed that during the night or maybe it was the drive, someone vandalized her Jeep and cut the serpentine belt.
She made her move to NC the weekend of the(Aug) 5th. She wouldn’t tell anyone where, then asked for help unloading the U-Haul at the storage area. She ended up doing most of it alone. She hired someone to help for 2 hours to move the heavy items. She even bragged bout how she got the storage space for one month free! Of course her location is secret. BUT!!! Several times in a very inebriated state mentioned where she was moving. Probably to throw us all off her trail. She was staying in an Air BnB on the beach until her rental home is ready. Jonathan was being an adult. He explained the “why” in one of his coffee lives He said he is basically not ready emotionally and most of all mentally and is seeing a therapist. More importantly, his children come first!!!!
8/18/2022 SizeMatters - (Mr Kentucky 2) She drove 11 hours to meet him for the first time in person. This is after dropping her children off (I think) and spend a couple of nights there. They made several videos together. She taught him how to create a wish list and drove the 11 hours home. All the while, texting (TT'ing) and talking to her Squad while driving. Dakota has a very troubled past and associating with her was not good for his mental health. She went to spend another weekend with him a couple of weeks later. This weekend just happened to be the one before school starts. She may or may not have taken her 14 year old daughter on that trip. If she didn't take C on the trip, the speculation is that she left her at home alone or dropped her off at her grandfathers. People in her chat were confused about which lie to perpetuate and a couple insinuated that she was with them.
After that weekend, people were even more toxic in his Lives and he and FGF stopped being “Official”. He had to step away for his sobriety. He appears to be doing very well now and leads some sobriety chats a couple of days a week. She has said several times it if wasn't for the ugliness in his chat they would still be together.
September 2022
(9/1/2022) FGF needed help moving everything from her storage to her new rental house. KevTrain was kind enough to offer during one of their ranking battles and she took him up on it. We are not sure if they did the deed, but we do know she was totally drunk outside of a hotel room doing a Live while he was inside the room walking around. It looked like he was pacing back and forth. He did help her move that weekend. Afterwards she verbally abused one of his Mods which was the wrong thing to do. Given the choice of his Mod or her, he chose the Mod.
Then they mutually told people (when asked), that they were both cool people. Since then Kev has made it very clear in several video comments and Lives that he has nothing to do with her at all.
No Specific Date here – Just September 2022 - She is visiting her "Loyer" (s) to see about shutting down the Reddit group. “It is all lies” She has never tried to cancel or harm anyone’s reputation on TT, she has never done anything the Red Eye Snarks said she did. She is very upset all the big creators are not rallying to support her. She has never driven after drinking, she never drive while not paying attention to the road. She never did all these things that there are many videos of her doing.
9/10/2022 She created another count down video series. For meeting her new TT Crush. (She has to stay relevant somehow.)
(9/17/2022 – Kyle comes to visit. The have never met in person. Already calling her "Babe" and "Pumpkin" in chat. He is coming across as if he is a kid in high school talking to his sweetheart. Originally he had a time off of Mon to Wed, as of 9/18 he has an open return to home date. Speculation is he either quit his job or got fired. When he went home, he did go to work, so he was not fired.
Friday or Saturday night - Three of his Ex's went Live to discuss him. They called him a womanizer, user and he even hit one of their children in the mouth.
He owes a lot of back child support. One of those ex's was his BabyMama who he still has a very close relationship with.
Sunday they went fishing, got drunk and went live after they got home. They drank all night long. When they pulled up to the house, Kyle ranted that her Daughter left all the lights on in the house.
Her daughter was home since it was a Sunday night and she had school the next day. FGF and Kyle drank all night. They got off Live at about 5:30AM Monday.
9/21/2022 – Kyle left to go home for a "dentist appointment".
On 9/22 FGF said he is going back to his BabyMamma. SMH! Was it just for clout? to raise money? was his BM involved?
She is back in all her mens chats, but when it comes to gifting during a battle... Her "Battle Cry" is "I can't reload"so she is unable to send them gifts.
2022 October 10/1/2022 FGF has been using her alternate account and while flirting with Risk it 4 da bizket (Tommy) she changed it to include part of his name. He changed his backup account to something like hers (I'll fix this later) – Tommy DROVE from Oklahoma to North Carolina to visit with her. He said he would not get out of his truck unless his subscriber numbers went up.
They attended on-line church together and she made sure people knew they were there by demanding to be in the box
They have also gone fishing where she told their followers that if anyone sent them a lion they would eat a worm. If his follower - he would. If her cult member - she would. They spent the evening making emotes for his subscribers. No sign of her child being home for this visit.
They “appear” to be a "solid" couple on the outside. Attending online church, taking tithes when sent…
There is a lot of concern that fgf is leaving her teenage daughter ALONE with T more than is appropriate. He is also talking to her as if he is has "stepfather". He called himself her "Bonus Dad". When FGF went to pick up the Littles, she left them alone. He spends the majority of his time in his truck on TT and the Daughter is in the house.
(((Total side note, the daughter created a hidden TT account. When her Mom found out, she took the phone away. Many RRs saw the videos and agree that this is one time that FGF did the right thing by taking the phone away; BUT has not given her much more attention. She is in her vehicle on TT while T is in his vehicle on TT.))
10/14/2022 FGF held a DV Awareness Live" and spent the majority of the time talking about herself and her issues and feelings. The people in the box all had an opportunity to speak, but most were squad members who allowed her to talk over them.
10/15/2022 FGF alters 2 different dresses for the Daughter to wear to Home Coming. She spent all day doing it and made a big production on live about her sewing skills.
T appears to be restless and bored. Speculation is that as soon as he has the funds (from battles) he will be leaving. They have both been coy when asked when he is leaving. The answer is always "Christmas".
October 28th something happened, He left her house and moved into a hotel. He stayed there for several days. He finally left after much harassment from her. She even said if he came back just to BOINK her she would meet him somewhere because he was “that good”
She has spent the month of November pining over phantom men. Crocheting, Knitting on expensive knitting machines *again her cult pays for everything. She has no real job. If asked, she says “TikTok is my job”. Her money comes from “gifts” from her cult.
She was on live 11/19 and went to a bar. She told the guy who tried to talk to her that there were 689 people there with her and she was “working”. He touched her jeans and she flipped out.
An hour or so later (3am) she is ready to leave and gets in the UBER and the driver calls out her address and says “is this where we are going” and FGF says Yes. She doxed herself.
When she got home, she smoked on the front porch then went inside and got her karaoke microphone out and started to sing into it. LOUD. Her daughter was asleep in the other room. She drank several beers and then brandished a pack of small fireball bottles and said she was going to drink them too.
At 5:30am she is in her chat with 3 other people and they are trying to convince her to log off and go to sleep. She screeches out several times that all she wants to do is get BOINKED. Keep in mind … 14 year old daughter in the other room.
She has repeated the “go to bar, act important, come home get trashed and make an even bigger fool of herself on TT” several times – it could be her new Saturday night thing.
12/6 Mike I told her he is into her in the middle of the night. She mocked him in a live a little later in the day. He keeps calling her Bruh and Dude. She really is one of the guys.
Manny MAY be figuring her out. In the mean time she keeps talking ab out all the nasty pictures they send back and forth. Regardless he is in it for the $$ and the clout and they have plans to get together sometime during the Christmas break.
Sometime in mid December she drove to visit Manny. This was before the planned date. It was not a good visit. Rumor has it he felt catfished. He has been a polite man so far and has not “spilled the tea” on their visit. There are videos of his slapping her upside the head with some slice ham. YES, lunch meat. SHE says they “did it” several times and then she realized they were not a good fit. She left in the middle of the night, after drinking a lot while live on TT
She got a hotel room and called Mike I. At 3:30am for sympathy. She (who just climbed out of some strange mans bed) is mad because Mike said he was talking to someone named Megan. She went home the next day, worked on her knitting and planned her future with Mike I.
She apparently told Mike he was always the one. They made plans for him to actually fly to see her. Her plan was to fly to him first (as a surprise since he had never flown before) and they would then fly back to NC together. Because there were ice storms forecasted all over the country, she went a few days early.
She “tried” to do rankings. She never had enough people who were gifting her to get very far. She did get to # 4 once. It was enough to pay rent. While Mike was there, and she was sleeping, Mike did battles on her account. He did very well and when she woke up, he had progressed pretty high. That may be the day she got to #4. Apparently there is/was an issue with her not giving him some of the money from the battles he participated in. He did work hard.
2023
She suffered alone for almost a month. Then she and Mike talked and decided they were meant to be together. He flew back to NC and lasted less than a week. He was sick when he got there. Went to ER, had bronchitis. She cooked for him when she rarely cooks for her children.
Then she got sick and he spent all his time on line and did nothing for her. Then she took him to a bar to watch the Cowboys game (they lost) and she decided she was going out. She needed alone time. With Mike she left her 14 year old daughter alone in the house with him. This is a scary pattern. She came home. They argued. She kicked him out somewhere between 3:30am and 4:30am. Got him a Uber and a hotel room. Now (1/25) they are talking about each other and acting like children. She posted the argument in 10 parts on one of her accounts.
1/25/2023 She is on the prowl again. Hair done, new nails and wearing a shirt that exposes her boobies. All while telling her squad and whoever else will listen, how much she appreciates them for all they have given her. “It doesn’t matter how much or if you gift her at all.”
February and March were filled with the SheFish on the prowl. She had a couple of close calls. One flat out told her he would not sleep with her. Another even said he caught a Catfish and then did not get involved with her.
She also tried several times to Rank and failed. Her content is filled with defending her choice in men and saying that everything posted on "Reddit" is a lie.
Her step-brother chose not to live any longer and she used that for as much sympathy and views as she possibly could. Streaming the funeral cars, the “wake, the strife internally in the family and showing everyone drinking and then possibly getting in their cars driving. "Reddit" spent a lot of time discussing her children’s lack of appropriate clothing for a funeral.
A group of people from "Reddit" formed yet another Discord to keep their activities private and then went live on TT, spending many hours bashing her and her lifestyle. Bringing her ex-fishermen into the lives and having them tell their stories. I’m not sure how successful that was. I only watched one time. She talks about Reddit as if it was on person...
March 30th, she was successful. She suckered a new victim into her bed. When she asked him (when they met) if he was happy, he said “you look different”. He didn’t leave or run…YET!

ROUGH DRAFT - CHECK BACK LATER FOR FINISHED CHAPTER
NEMESIS 2: Chapter 44
Citra
"What are our orders, sir?" Doombot 0028 asked Steven over the com. I, and everyone else in our fucked up little robot gang, listened in on our own Doombot-standard communication channels.
"Search the area for any clues" Steven said, "then return to base. We'll-"
The call abruptly ended.
Everyone glanced at each other, searching for the one person who might have an answer to what just happened. After a split second, I was fed up with waiting, so I took control.
"What the hell was that?" I asked the group at large. "Did the signal die, or did the Doomfort explode?"
Doombot 0028, the damned teacher's pet of a murderous robot, chimed in with the ever so helpful clarification "An explosion of sufficient size and strength to level the Doomfort would also destroy the transmit-"
Velociraptor Vixen snarled, accenting the sound with a short burst of her chainsaw-style teeth. "We know, Robot" she said, ignoring the irony of her own current state of mechanical existence.
"We should head back" I said, and decided to lead by example by walking back towards the stupidly named 'DoomBus'.
"Halt" Doombot 28 called after me. "Our orders were to search the area for clues before departing. The search has not concluded."
I spun on my heel, a much easier maneuver to execute with robotic feet, and stared at the massive combat robot. "Seriously? Something could have happened back there. For all we know, those fuckers already used the time machine, and just erased the fort from existence."
"Orders have been given" 28 said, "It is our duty to follow them."
I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "Maybe for you, but I'm not in the damned Doomsquad. I'm going back."
I could almost hear the gears turning in Doombot 28's mechanical equivalent of a brain. "Doomsquad status: Unaffiliated. Confirmed. You and Velociraptor Vixen did not join the Doomsquad when-"
"Yeah, numb nuts, we know" I interrupted. "So you and the rest of the tin soldiers can march around here, and we'll go back to make sure your boss is still alive."
Doombot 0028 nodded his regular sized head behind the massive armored plate that adorned its chest. It looked more like a child wearing an adult's jacket than armor, but what did I know about robotics? Maybe that stupid look broke target locks, or reflected microwaves or whatever. All I knew for sure is I didn't want to stare at it anymore.
"C'mon, Vix" I said, and left the robot stooges to their stooging.
Velociraptor Vixen lumbered along, using her digitigrade legs to their full advantage and catching up within seconds. "What do we do if the Doomfort did explode?" She asked as she slowed to match my pace.
"Find a new Supervillain compound that can maintain our robotic bodies for free?" a strange voice said, dripping with annoyingly cheerful enthusiasm.
The dinosaur enthusiast and I stopped in our tracks and did our best 'Mean Girls' stare at the stowaway. It was one of the refugees from Warden's fucked up brain prison, but I couldn't put a name to the basic robotic face that stared at me in eager silence.
"...who the fuck are you?" I asked.
"I'm Tammy!" The robot said, sticking out a hand with a sickening eagerness. I ignored the proffered hand. Velociraptor Vixen hissed at it.
"I never actually joined the Doomsquad" She said, oblivious to our attempted sleight. "I didn't want to

Good evening everyone !
With the recent changes on heals and experience's gain, I have choose to re-upload my concept about Enki by changing the EXP gain that he give in one aspect of his Passif and the heals he give to his allies with is second ability and the one over time with his third. I have also modified the damages mitigation of his third ability and the health of the shields that he gave during his ultimate. For make this, I based myself on the change make on Aphrodite in the Patch notes of the 10.3.
Enjoy! Any critics are welcome!
P.S. : I have notified that Enki may be the most strongest Support Guardian ever make, so, in a more or less distant future, I will modify this post accordingly.
FUNCTIONS AND MYTHS WHERE ENKI APPEARED OR HAVE A GREAT ROLE.
Functions:
God of Abzu (Sumerian)/Apsû* (Akkadian), the great pure water extent beneath the Earth, of craft and arts, of civilisation (civilization's god, who give to humanity, with the help to his servants, the Apkallu/Abgal, all the aspects of the civilizations to serve the gods), magic, exorcisms, of the world's organization and fertility, sometimes creator of the world alongside others divinities (An/Anu and/or Enlil), (co-)-creator of humankind and protector of humanity, Enki/Ea is the most wise of the gods, the most intelligent and cunning of them, who resolve all problem thanks to is genius spirit. His city was Eridu, where his main sanctuary was present. He was also the master of ME, a Sumerian's concept who design all there forces of the universe and/or all the aspects of the civilization.
*Apsû became a primordial being in the Enuma elish, the husband of Tiamat and god of pure water.
Myths:

in Enki and the World Order, he organized the World and it center, the country of Sumer and make of all countries lands of abundance. Also, he give to several divinity their roles and functions. At the end of the tale, Inanna come, crying, to him, because he give nothing to her. Enki response that she have already a function : the be the goddess of battles and war. SMITE© tell this myth, but in a short and reinterpreted way : Ishtar (Akkadian's name of Inanna) have receive nothing in terms of divines's functions,

in Descent of Inanna in the Underworld and the Akkadian version, Descent of Ishtar in the Underworld, he is the one who ressuscite Inanna/Ishtar after that Ereshkigal kill her. The Akkadian version say that is because without Ishtar, nothing on Earth can copulate, animals like humans. So, he create with the dust under his nails two asexual beings (in the Sumerian version) or one transvestite being to ressuscite the goddess with the bread-of-life and the water-of-life,

in Nergal and Ereshkigal he save the god Nergal to the fury of Ereshkigal (because the warrior's god don't show respect to the Ereshkigal's emissary and so to her), first, to shave his head, and after to send him in the Underworld to affront the goddess with seven pairs of guards for held the seven gates of the Infernal City open for allow to him to escape. Thanks to Enki, Nergal became the king of Underworld alongside Ereshkigal who was in reality in love of him. In Adapa in the Heavens, after that his servant, Adapa, broke the wings of the South Wind and provoke the wrath of Anu, he advise to Adapa to not eat and drink the water and food that Anu take to him after have make proof of mourn with two fertility divinities (the South Wind is necessary to the agriculture in the South of Sumer) because it was food and drink of death. But, in reality, this food and drink was of life, of immortality, so Adapa could be a god without the intervention of Enki. But, in is cunning, Enki make in sort to Adapa to bring to Earth, and so to humanity, all of the exorcists and magics rituals to conjured all of the evils that the South Wind bring that Anu give to him, make Adapa the ”ancestor” or the exorcists,

in the Myth of Anzû, it is him that is propose Ninurta, son of Enlil and maybe the inspiration for Heracles/Hercules (see "Ninurta", World History Encyclopedia), to affront the monstrous bird with lion-head named Anzû who stolen the Tablets of Destiny. In another text, Ninurta and the Turtle, the Tablets fall to Apsû and Enki see that Ninurta want them for himself and not to restaure the order to Universe. So he create with clay a turtle that bit the feet and Ninurta, making him fall, and buried him in a big hole. Enki mocks of Ninurta, because he is the brave god who defeat Anzû and who was vanquish by a turtle,

but the most know of the Enki's acts is the creation of mankind to serve the gods and the rescue of humanity during the Flood. In Atrahasis (pronounced Atra-rasis), he propose to create humankind for that all of the gods, Igigi (the servants's ones) and Anunnaki (the leaders), can be in peace and in rest. With the help of her wife, the Mother-Goddess (know as different names (Aruru, Ninhursag, Nintu, Ninmah, Belit-ili, etc...)) and others goddesses, he creates the humankind with clay and the blood of a sacrificed god (to give intelligence and spirit that survive after the death) to humans. In the myth Enki and Ninmah, after creating the humans with his wife Ninmah, others mothers-goddesses and his own mother Nammu (a primordial deity of water, similar to Tiamat in the Babylonians), he arrives to find a destiny (a role) at each deformed human that Ninmah create. And he created an human being so incapable of nothing that Ninmah cannot make him anything, so she curse Enki who seems to accept his curse because of his amoral act. But the humans have a very long lifetime; they multiplicand and annoyed the gods and particularly Enlil. The Flood is declared and Enki warms the king Aura-Hasis to built a great boat to protected his family, all of the animals and all of the peoples who knows the arts and crafts (the civilization) and himself. After the Flood, Enki (and the Mother-Goddess in The Epic of Gilgamesh (and not Ishtar like SMITE© said)) plaid the cause of humankind and arrived to calm and make Enlil forgive his act. The during of humans lifetime is scaled down. In Eridu Genesis, we don,'t know the reason fo the Flood but Enki have the same role and at the end Ziusudra, the survivor, obtain immortality to An and Enlil for have saved humankind and so the gods. This points, immortality and the miss of the reason behind the Flood, was retake to the tale for Utanapishtim, the survivor of the Flood in The Epic of Gilgamesh,

in the Poem of Agushaya, he calm the warrior’s fury of Ishtar who threat the world order and the gods themselves by the creation of a warmonger double of the goddess named Saltu, ”Dispute”. He sen it against the goddess and at the end of the fight, Ishtar come to Enki, more wise, to told him to stop this being, and Enki revealed to her that it was him who created Saltu. The wise god show to her her own place among the gods and in the world. In Gilgamesh, Enkidu and the Hell, he is the one god who answer to the supplication of Gilgamesh: bringing up the phantom of Enkidu, death in the Hells,

finally, in the Enuma elish, he kill Apsû who planned to kill the younger gods for their annoying with a sleep conjuration and propose his son Marduk, the more powerful of the gods, to defeat Tiamat who want to avenge his husband after the fail of him and his own father, Anu. At the end, he create the humankind after that Marduk decide that humanity being created to serve the gods, his subjects.

But, despite of all his good acts, Enki/Ea have also dark part: he make incests in Enki and Ninhursag; he finish drunk in Enki and Inanna; and in Enmerkar and the lord of Aratta, it is said that it was a jealous Enki who separated the languages and bring war on humans because they praised Enlil in one language.
HOW I SEE ENKI* IN SMITE© ?
*I used the Sumerian name "Enki" because it was the one who was utilised in the story of Ishtar present in-game.
For me, Enki, in reason of his non-frontal fighter and of adviser of the gods, would be a ranged Guardian who provide heals and protection to his allies.
All of the kit presented below was in-progress, so the values and effects was not definitive.
Come to the battleground of the gods to calm the thirst of conquest and power of Ishtar that I see becoming the next reason of the restart of the war of the gods. Because Enki is frequently associated with Ishtar in the myths, I see him arrives before his son Marduk (my first favorite in the Babylonian pantheon; the second is Enki here).
ENKI, PRINCE OF THE ABZÛ
BABYLONIAN
GUARDIAN
RANGED, MAGICAL
DIFFICULTY: AVERAGE
HIGH SUSTAIN, PROTECTIONS
STATISTICS.
Health: 690 (+85)
Mana: 200 (+50)
Speed: 360 (+0)
Range: 50 (+0)
Attack/sec: 1 (+1.5%)
Basic attack.
Damage: 20 (+1.5) + 50% of the magical power
Progression: None
Protections.
Physical: 28 (+3.1)
Magical: 40 (+1)
Regen.
HP5: 7 (+0,1)
MP5: 0 (+0)
LORE.
« Only the gods of Babylon know that without the wisdom, intelligence and cunning of one god, the world would have been very different. This god is Enki, Prince of Abzu, son of Anu, god of the sky.
When Enlil, Anu and Ashur had created the world, it is Enki who, after having created the Abzu - the immense underground ocean from which come the whole of the rivers and the fresh water bodies and which he named in the honor of Apsû, their father to all - organized it, applying the divine laws on the world for the only needs of his own, the gods. It is still him who proposed that the humans are created to relieve the small gods Igigi of their agrarian servitude towards the Anunnaki so that the two groups are the sovereigns of the world and can nourish themselves without exploiting each other. With the help of his wife Ninhursag the Sublime and several mother-goddesses, he shaped in clay and thanks to the blood of a sacrificed god the very first men. Through the intermediary of the Apkallû, his faithful servants, he then transmitted to them all the civilizing knowledge of which he was the guarantor so that they fulfill their mission of servants of the gods.
Enki is a complex god: god of the ocean of underground fresh water named Abzû, of civilization, of arts and crafts, of knowledge, of magic, of exorcism and of wisdom. He is as intelligent as he is wise and cunning, being matched in these qualities only by his eldest son, Marduk, one of his many children. It is thanks to his cunning, his wisdom and his unparalleled intelligence that he organized the world and assigned to the gods their tasks and functions, except for Ishtar, who was born a warrior. The latter, incensed, made him pay dearly for this affront. She went to his city of Eridu, intoxicated him and took away his knowledge in order to bring them back to his city of Uruk. Enki accepted defeat. It is him who advocated to lock up Apsu, enraged by the attitude of his children towards their creatures, the men, rather than to kill him and put him to sleep thanks to an incantation of which he alone has the secret; it is him who proposed to the gods his son Marduk as a champion to defend them against Tiamat when the latter sought to avenge her husband. He is the one who resurrected Ishtar when she was killed by her elder sister Ereshkigal for having wanted to rule over the Underworld, and thus ensure the procreation of beings. It is him who made Nergal king of the Underworld, appointed the brave Ninurta to recover the Tablets of Destiny that the monstrous Anzû had stolen from Enlil, then punished the latter for having had the pride to covet the divine objects. It is alas still him who divided the tongues of the men, jealous of the adoration that these last ones showed towards Enlil, and who was cursed and made sick by Ninhursag to have eaten sacred plants before being cured by this last one in front of Enlil's insistence.
But his most famous act among the Babylonian pantheon is to have saved humanity, which the gods, and first of all Enlil, wanted to exterminate by the Flood, for the noise that their proliferation caused, and thus the gods. He warned his friend and devotee, the king Utanapishti of the imminence of the catastrophe, ordering him to build a ship to shelter his family, all the animals, the scientists who were the guarantors of civilization, and himself. After the cataclysm, Enki was the first to plead the cause of humanity to Enlil, followed by Ninhursag and Ishtar, succeeding in softening the god of the wind who realized his mistake and accepted that humanity be recreated for the good of the gods and the world. It is even said that in a final act of mercy, Enki was the only god to respond to the pleas of King Gilgamesh and momentarily brought up from the Underworld the ghost of his friend Enkidu so that he could see him one last time.
But today, although the new era of the world is announced as being an era of peace, new threats seem to be looming and Ishtar does not stop conquering new territories in its unquenchable thirst for power. Enki does not intend to remain the arms crossed in the Abzû. He has the attention to remind the world of his past acts by realizing new ones thanks to his ingenious spirit for the good of the gods and the men. »
ABILITIES.
PASSIVE.
"WISDOM AND CUNNING OF ENKI". Enki is sows that his wisdom irrigated their allies who is at proximity. Also, each time that one or all of his allies was in difficulty, Enki find the solution. Enki can automatically send one Cunning at a time.
Wisdom of Enki.
- Mana HP5: 10 (+5 per level)
- Units: 70
Cunning of Enki.
- Allie(s) who was some levels behind their opponents, Enki increase the EXP gain per second of the allies who needed.
EXP gain: +0,3 EXP per second (+0,15 per level),
- Structures who was damaged, Enki send his Apkallû (fish-men) rebuilt the structure in question. The heal is reduced with each of the Apkallû who was kill.
Healing of the structure : 5 per seconde (5 per level, 5 per Apkallû alive around the structure)
Diminution of the healing per Apkallû killing : 5
Number of Apkallû : 7.
Health of Apkallû : 45 (+5 all two levels)
Duration of the Apkallû : 1 minute
- Ennemy/ies who was kill the same allie three time or who kill three allie in one time, Enki create a double of the god(s) in question. The double taunt the ennemy/ennemies god(s) and deal damages to him/them.
Duration of the double(s): 15 seconds
Health of the double(s): 20% of the max. Health of the ennemy/ennemies god(s)
Range of the taunt: 75 units
Duration of the taunt: 1.5 second
Damage of the double(s): 25% of the magical or physical power of the ennemy/ennemies god(s)
- When an ennemy god stole the Junge Bonus of an allie, Enki send a turtle to calm the pride of this gods! The turtle make magical damage with her bite and immobilize the ennemy god. After the end of the immobilization, the Jungle Bonus are restored and cannot be stolen again.
Duration of the turtle: 5 secondes.
Health: 100 (25 per level obtain).
Damage of the bite: 50 (5 per level and +20% of the magical power)
Duration of the immobilization: 1 second (0,5 second all the five levels).
- When a lane was frequently gank, Enki summon and send one Giant of Eridu in the Jungle of the Lane in question. The Giant stop to the Jungle, the closest to the first tower and take the role of a Ward. When an enemy approached, he scream, deal damages and Fear, and repels and attacks them if they comes too close of him.
Health of the Giant of Eridu: 100 (25 by level)
Damages: 75 (+25% of the magical power).
Units: 55.
Damages of the scream: 125 (+10% of the magical power)
Fear's duration: 1 second (+0,5 second all the five levels)
Units of the repels: 20
- When a lane was not protect by wards purchase by the allies, Enki warned them by a dream when one ennemy or more are in coming (the player(s) heard the voice of Enki with an echoing effect). This Cunning can be send by Enki all two minutes.
Also, at the level 10, Enki take to his teammates the Food-of-Life and the Water-of-Life, two consumables who cost 500 gold. It can be consumed only by their teammates, when their health was in 25% or below and when they consumed, they make revive the ally. Also, the Food-of-Life take +50 max. mana and the Water-of-Like +50 mana regeneration.
ACTIVE ABILITIES:
ABILITY 1: ”Conjuration of Sleep”.
In a cone, Enki throw a sort of sleep, who deal damages, fall asleep all the enemy who are present in the area and make them more vulnerable to damage of Enki and his allies.
Ability type: Cone.
Range: 75 units.
Cone’s zone: 25 units
Affect: Ennemy, Minions, Jungle Monsters (the sleep don't apply to the Fire Giant and the Gold Fury
Damages: 40/45/50/55/60 (+35% of the magical power)
Duration of the sleep: 0.5/1/1.5/2/2.5 seconds
Damages vulnerability: 10/15/20/25/30%
Duration of the Damages vulnerability: 2 seconds
Cost: 35/45/55/65/75 of mana
Cooldown: 15/14/13/12/11 seconds
ABILITY 2: ”Waters of the Tigris and Euphrates”.
Enki concentrate is power on the two streams who are in each of his shoulders to heal his allies in a line. He can activate one stream at a time or two at a time. When he choose to activate one at a time, if he choose the stream on his right shoulder, the Tigris, he heal and increase the movement speed of his allies. If he choose the stream on his left shoulder, the Euphrates, he heal his allies and reduced their cooldowns. If he activate the two at a time, his healing was a healing during time on a more larger and ranged line and the ennemies gods who are present in the line are knockback.
Also, the fish who are presents on the Enki’s shoulders streams are thrown by the magic of Enki to the enemy who attack the allies that he heal, dealing damages and stun them.
Ability type: Line
Size (one stream): 20 units
Size (two streams): 40 units
Range (one stream): 80 units
Range (two streams) : 95 units
Affect: Allies, Minions, Ennemies
Healing (one stream): 20/25/30/35/40 (+30% of the magical power)
Healing (two streams): 30/35/40/45/50/55 (+45% of the magical power)
Tigris’s increase of movement speed: 5/10/15/20/25%
Duration of the increase of the movement speed: 2 seconds
Euphrates’s reduction cooldown: 1/2/2.5/3/3.5 seconds
Knockback’s range: 30 units
Damages of the fishes: 20/25/30/35/40 (+25% of the magical power)
Duration of the stun : 1,5 second
Cost: 40/60/90/120/140 of mana
Cooldown: 13/12.5/12/11.5/11 seconds
ABILITY 3: ”Exorcism of the Prince”.
Enki use is all-knowledge in exorcism to remove all of the controls effects deals to his allies and those who are deals after and are healed over time. If the targeted allies have been healed before receiving immunity to control effects, they obtain damages mitigation when they are undergoing a control effect.
Ability type: ground target
Target’s size: 35 units
Range: 30 units
Affect: Allies, Allies Minions
Duration of the starter controls effect’s remove: 2 seconds
Duration of the control effect’s remove after the cast of the ability: 2 seconds
Healing over time: 5/10/15/20/25 (+10% of the magical power)
Duration of the healing over time: 3 seconds
Damages mitigation: 10/15/20/25/30%
Duration of the damages mitigation: 2 seconds
Cost: 75/80/85/90/96
Cooldown: 20/19.5/19/18.5/18 seconds
ULTIMATE: ”Protection of the Abzu”.
By a powerful incantation, Enki make plunge ennemies and allies in his realms the Abzû. The allies gods receive shields and the cooldown of Enki are refresh by half except for his ultimate. The ennemies gods find themselves drowning, are slowed down and suffer heavy magical damage over time. The damage is increased if the health of one or more allied gods is equal to or less than 20%. The allied Minions located nearby becoming invulnerable for a very short period.
Ability type: Zone, ground target
Size: 70 units
Affect: Allies, Ennemies
Incantation’s time: 2 second
Shields’s health: 25/30/35/40/45% of the max. health (+15% of the magical power)
Shields’s duration: 2/2.5/3/3.5/4 seconds.
Damages over time: 90/95/100/105/110 (+100% of the magical power)
Duration of the damages over time : 3 seconds
Increased of the damages: 5/10/15/20/25% (+30% of the magical power)
Duration of the allied Minions’s invulnerability: 1 second
Cost: 100/150/200/250/300 of mana
Cooldown: 90/85/80/75/70 seconds
Quotes:
Introduction:
"From Abzu I emerge once more to save men and gods and to ensure the continuity of this world I saw being created."
"Ah, the fresh air of Enlil. I didn't remember it being so sweet."
Abilities :
Conjuration of Sleep:
"I will not allow you to do as you please."
"Did you seriously think to take the god and master of incantations and wisdom by surprise?"
Waters of the Tigris and Euphrates:
"Behold the mighty flood of the two rivers!"
"Be healed and swept away!"
Exorcism of the Prince:
"I, Master of Incantations, heal men and gods!"
"May the evil that affects you disappear!"
Protection of the Abzu:
"Come into my domain!"
"I hope you are of divine essence and under my protection!"
Low health :
"This is the second time I have seen a being resist my incantations so well!"
"Your resistance is nothing because I will get around it one way or another."
Death:
"Ninhursag..." (like Davy Jones at the moment of his death in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End)
"Gods, men, do not forget what I have done for you and act accordingly!"
Buy a consumable:
"Is this something new from Ninkasi or a new perfidy from Ishtar?"
"It's not worth the Babylonian beer, but it would do!"
Buy an offensive item:
"What a beautiful piece of work! Could it be a creation of my little Apkallu?"
"I know gods who would love to own such weapons."
Buy a defensive item:
"Looking at the situation, armor is welcome alongside wisdom, cunning and intelligence."
"Although I am not a fan of frontal combat, I am willing to wear a little protection."
Put down a sentry/beacon:
"I inspect the world, just like in the good old days..."
"I hope I don't infringe on Enlil and Marduk's roles..."
Make an Elimination:
"You will not trouble the world anymore.”
Makes a kill:
"Like Apsû and Mummu, I reduce you to eternal silence!"
Kill a Jungle Boss:
"A threat reduced to nothing!"
Destroys a Structure:
"My power is comparable to the Flood! How sadly ironic..."
Jokes:
"What animal can defeat a god? The Thor-tle."
"How can you make your wife angry? Finish your plate of vegetables."
Provocations:
"Only a complete fool would dare to attack the god of wisdom."
"Would you dare to attack the Master of ME, the very aspects of civilization? How barbaric you are!"
"You touch me, I put you to sleep."
"Even Enlil was never foolish enough to confront me. You, on the other hand, are."
"I am fighting for the order of the world and the gods to be preserved. I invite you to surrender if you do not wish to see the world reduced to fire and blood."
Targeted provocations:
Tiamat: "I am sincerely sorry for Apsû and you. It was either you or the world. »
Gilgamesh: « I know you have encounter my devoted Utanapishtim. He told him that you come to me, in search of immortality. And said that we agree to give it tom you. But now, I see you have gain in wisdom. I’m proud of you, wise king. »
Persephone: "Helping humans against your own is pure madness. And it has been confirmed. Let me help you in your more than worthy quest."
Nu Wa: "You too created humans from clay? What do you say that we associate?"
Ishtar: "I come to calm your warlike fury and remind you of your place among our illustrious pantheon. »
Why I have a problem with the inclusion of Enki in SMITE©?
My main problem with Enki is the fact that he solves all the problems faced by the gods in Mesopotamian mythologies with his brilliant mind. He can be deceived (Inanna intoxicates him in Inanna and Enki), he can't foresee everything (he didn't see the Flood coming) and he can face a problem that is too powerful for him (Tiamat) while offering a solution (Marduk). In short, he always finds a way to solve a given problem.
What I fear about his introduction in SMITE© is that for the needs of the scenario, the scriptwriters put Enki in one or more situations in which he can't find a solution at all, which would be a betrayal of the god. And therein lies the problem: if they add Enki, technically, he is supposed to solve all the problems and therefore the story of SMITE might become less exciting. And I say maybe because in the Enuma elish, a cosmogonic war epic, he manages to find solutions without diminishing the epochal and violent side of the story. Therefore, I am divided. On the one hand, I will be happy if Enki is added to the game, but on the other hand I'm afraid that either his character will undergo drastic changes when adapting to the game universe for the needs of the story, or that he will be, literally, the Two-Ex-Machina of the story. What do you think?

This is REALLY LONG. If you just want to know the numbers, here they are. If you want some detail, read the entire document.
THE MEN

Nathan....March 2021 (First viral video about her TT crush meeting)
Rusty.....April/May 2021
Josh......June 2021
Daniel....August 2021
Dusty.....Nov / Dec 2021 to NYE
Derrick...February 2022
Jonathon…Feb / March 2022 – August 2022
Dakota....August 19, 2022
Kev......(Maybe) Sept 1 - 3, 2022
Kyle.....September 17 – 21, 2022
Tommy.....October 1 - 26 (edited)
Manny.....December (mid month)
MikeIV.....December 20’ish to December 26’ish

13 ½…MikeIV......January 17,2023 to January 22, 2023
13 ¾…Tatted something in TN – Just visited – no whoopee.

JeromyKelly…March 30, 2023 to ???

The start... Faith joined TT around February 2021 “A strong independent single woman” with 5 children. One lives with her while the other 4 live with their respective fathers. At the time she worked nights, 12 hour shifts at a local hospital in the ER. Where she said she was the Charge Nurse. In the morning after work, she would come home, get on live and feed the ducks at the park across the street from her apartment. It was fun, calming and made her seem like a really endearing person. This is how she cultivated her initial following. (edited)
2021 March to June She has a "platform" - what is it really??? Drinking, crying. lip syncing, Ranking, flirting, playing word games with a cheater app? GRWM as I sit around and drink beer and cry
Somewhere between the time she got on TT and met Nathan, she met her "Best Friend" who has kept telling her she is picking losers. She ignores him every time. I think she blocked him recently. He has not been around. Maybe he got smart!! I like him and respect him enough not to blast his name here. He surfaced the again after she broke up with #7. There is a lot of speculation about them having a physical relationship. Can't be substantiated, I'm not adding it.
Mar 2021 There was her TT Crush - Nathan - mutual not a thing - clout for her for sure - I sat there watching them cuddle and as the number of her followers rose higher and higher. Always use #FYP, It was her first viral video.
April or May 2021 then the dude in PA with false teeth - Rusty he drank as much or maybe more than her! It was not a good relationship. She drove up to see him twice, he drove to her once (with his son) and that is when they broke up. She insinuated he was abusive towards her and she demanded he leave. They spent a lot of time on their own Lives complaining about the other. He has since fallen onto really hard times. (9/21/2022 living in his car)
June'ish 2021- Several nights after breaking up with Rusty, she was drunker than she had probably ever been on a Live. There were teenagers across the street in the park, playing on the swings that had a terrible squeal. The squeal was so bad you could hear it over the Live. Josh came to rescue her from the abuse of the teenage boys. She called the police on them, and she stood in the middle of her street, drunk off her ass, telling the police she could not tell them the address because "she was live on TT with over 1000 viewers". Josh lived about 1/2 a mile down the street from her and he heard all the stuff happening on the police scanner. When they talked the kids into apologizing and going home, she invited him in for a beer and a "Movie" at 2am. All she had was warm beer.
A couple of weeks later FGF moved into his house with all most all her stuff and her son who was living with her at the time. (She had to keep her apartment because the lease was not up until February 2022) He really enjoyed the time he spent with all her kids. Made cute happy videos with them. He bought groceries and cooked FGF's favorite meat (rib eye) on the grill with her older daughter. He grew to have a special bond with the older daughter. He gave her attention, talked to her like a parent would and generally was a good example of what an adult should be. Josh got FGF the nose piercing she desperately wanted so she could be like all the other TT Creators.
Poor guy, it was down hill from there. Anyone remember the night FGF got super wasted and vomited Taco Bell all over his computer room? She pressure washed HIM on Live instead of the side of the house and DID NOT apologize. She laughed and thought it was funny. Eventually he got smart. Tired of her being drunk all the time. Told her to leave. He called the police on her because she would not leave. She whined and complained that he would not help her move her things back to her apartment.
((Shortly after they broke up, he married some woman (with children) he met on TT. She left him several months later. Last I saw him online he was with another really cute girl. Wonder how long that will last. Poor guy, I think he just wanted to be a father. - 9/2022 He apparently is off TT, which is good for him. His FB page is still active. (edited)))
August 2021'ish There was Daniel from Denver who seemed to be a nice guy, but turned into a really angry man (her story/perspective). Her cult paid for their vacation to Florida where they fell in love. After the vacation, she could not wait to see him so she flew to Denver. This is where they decided he would move to WV. He was supposed to move there around Thanksgiving.
They decided he would move to WV sooner. The would look for a larger place, but in the mean time they would live with her in her nasty 1 (2?) bedroom with his two dogs, He didn't give them proper vet care (which made me really mad). The squad contributed money so they could pay for the move. During the time he was there, he never really held a job, he drank beer and smoked all day. Got money from her to pay for it. While she was actually working a 12 hour day. That turned into a HUGE drama with police, pods and puppies. Anyone remember her laying on the couch with the “cold sore” blaming it on the stress of the drive from Colorado.
*Update- I left out the part where she wrecked his car. He tried to get her to pay for it and she said "F NO!" He left her and went to Iowa to see his "daughter" who was an ex's daughter, who was not even an ex. But, apparently was an ex. He left his dogs at FGF's house and one of them, poor guy had a bad ear issue. Made me even more angry. People offered to pay the vet bill and he still didn't take him until the poor dog was crying in pain. She blames Dan for nude photos of her being spread all over TT and other places. He has since moved on, has a new attractive adult woman in his life. Sadly he had to put 2 dogs down, I don’t know if they are the same ones, but that is never anything you wish on anyone.
Nov/ Dec 2021 The dude in Nashville “Dusty” who couldn't carry a tune but had all of TT convinced he was a real singer, had big bucks and a pending recording contract.
She drove from WV to Nashville to meet him at the hotel where he was a night auditor. She and Dusty went to "play hotel" while he left his friend watching the front desk. (He said in one of her lives while she was crying over one of her many men "I might as well shoot my shot"
In December he held a M & G in Nashville for her fans and his fans. They charged people to attend. They both got so drunk they had to leave and they drove the wrong way on the freeway.
This is also where she left her children with a woman she had never met in person. It is also where she met sweet Sarah in person and hoodwinked her into thinking she was really her friend. ((2022) Some people think that Sarah has become just like FGF. If she has it is because people have shown her how easily they can be duped into giving away their money to people they do not know)
She (FGF) and Dusty crashed and burned after NYE 2022. She was angry and drank and cried and drank and cried… She then began her search for the next man. Don't forget Dusty wrote a song for her. Nighttime Lifetime https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6_8LfvJS3M (9/2022 Dusty posts video sobbing about losing THE ONE, the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, rumor has it he did her wrong too)
Dec 2021 – Christmas - Oh, and let's not forget Troy who paid her $200 and bought her a new Christmas tree in return for some nudes. Also, "The Squad" gathered $ to get her Jeep fixed in November /December and bought all her kids Christmas presents. Roxanne even bought her a KitchenAid Stand Mixer in her favorite color. This gift was appx $500/$600 depending on where it was purchased. (edited)
2022 January - February
January 2022 was filled with crying, drinking, man bashing and flirting... She blasted Dusty let everyone know how terrible he really was. She told her squad ALL about how Dusty did her wrong, used her for bail money, about his arrest and secret family.
February 2022 - Derrick – almost immediately after breaking up with Dusty, she fell in LOVE with Derrick before even meeting him. She flew to Houston to meet him. He had to drive 4 hours from Lake Charles LA. to pick her up from the airport and when the visit was over, another 4 to take her back. Which was the longer drive? They seemed ok the first night. The 2nd night they wer drunk. The 3rd night she went home. She had to get back to work. She was still a working as an RN then,
When Derrick broke up with her, he said he was 100% catfished. She was very, very dramatic about it, she made FB and TT posts referencing “un-aliving” herself, clearly she didn't do it. I am not adding all the info in this section because it references her son. She did delete the posts on TT and on FB. During her visit, She got a matching heart tattoo with a fishing hook on it, with D (He has since has his covered up)). This turned into the most toxic of all her breakups (so far).
**Update - It was brought to my attention I left out the HP drama. I'm leaving it out of here. this is mostly for her "man drama" someone else can document that.
2022 THE EXTRA MEN - *Update - After Derrick she strung along a lot of "innocents ". Except I think they just wanted a piece of a$$ and to live in her clout bubble.
Mr Kentucky 1 – Kyle They were going to meet and then they weren’t. She blocked him and told her squad, “we are not going to talk about him”. It turns out that he was not ready to meet her in person. "He was new to TT" and "realized he was in over his head". He has since met several / many people from TT and is not afraid of FGF now. (9/17/2022) There is so much more to this. He was potentially involved with other women as well as his “BabyMama” and was very busy playing the field. Also, for the 2nd time, she has said she was going to quit smoking because he does not like kissing a smoker.
ToothPick Boy – You almost never saw him without a toothpick. Jordan (8/2022 -tried to get back in her good graces. Not sure what happened) He is still around. One day he will get to "shoot his shot". (9/2022 – Jordan has joined Reddit and left the Cult)
Mike Ivie - Saw through her and was not interested in the unwashed. He rejected her and he named her roach Pedro. He was very gross and rude to her in their dual lives. She blocked him when she and J became a couple. (9/21 Mike is unblocked) He hangs around - making what would normally be vulgar comments, except that they pertain to her lack of hygiene. She has a clear lack of hygiene. Falls asleep drunk, in the makeup from the day before. Goes to her jeep for a smoke and TT. 12/6/2022 he’ssssssss baccckkkkk!!
Then there was Hunter who managed to dodge the bullet before meeting her. He had his own dating drama happening and FGF felt like he was cheating on her before they ever met.
Millie is her new Bestie. They flirt a lot and he even posted a picture of his Abreva so that if she had a flare up, they could share meds. How sweet? (1/1/2023) They seem to be on the outs.
(BACK TO THE TIMELINE)
End of Feb or Maybe March 2022 - Poor Jonathan who should have known better, but hey... to each his own. He was still married. She acts like they are forever couple. Not until he is divorced or figures out the cash cow is going to run out of money!
2022 - April - August
April - Jon flirts with her while she is flirting with the other guys...
May 2022 Met Jonathan in Person - One very drunken night, Jonathan said he would "like to shoot his shot" It was the same time she was flirting with Hunter and Jordan. She even said in one of her Lives, while she was basically incoherent, that she would rather meet Jonathan than Hunter. So, she drove down to NC to meet him and also to house hunt. (Her plan was to move to NC to be closer to her family.)
He joined her in the Rankings stuff. When she was going hard and heavy to "WIN, WIN, WIN," he and Sarah would take over while she worked. They went on their first date to a turtle sanctuary and later on in their relationship they got matching turtle tattoos and she got that nasty puss oozing face piercing, again to be like the other TT Creators. In August, she ended up moving further from all her family and close to him.) and blamed him. If she had known he was going to break up with her, she would not have moved there. She screamed this several times during her drunk lives. She also claimed she gave him a laptop and $10K Heck if I spent that much time helping someone go high up in the rankings, I better well make some of the money!
June 2022 She spends a lot of time with Jonathan, brings her kids to his house, swims in the neighbor's pool. Gets COVID, takes her kids to GWL and probably becomes SuperSpreaderFGF. Makes and deletes tic tok posts about being fine and then sick and asks people to pray for her. All while her children are at her apartment.
July - The littles leave for their dad's because he goes on vacation EVERY YEAR on the 4th of July.
(7/2022 Dusty and Daniel are TT Besties now. Partying, drinking and posting TT Videos together.)
July 2022 She takes her two older children and their (half?) sibling to Florida for a trip. They go parasailing, riding jet skies, out to seafood and steak restaurants, lounging on the beach with no care in the world, swimming in the pool at an AirBnB. Her followers paid for this trip. How many of her "followers", "squad", "sycophants", "fans" take this kind of vacation? And brag about other people paying for it "because they know what I have been through. " The only things she has been through are drama of her own making. Neither J or his children participate in the Florida trip.
J's morning coffee talk used to be cool. Now it is filled with her people asking him questions about her. (7/6/2022) On this morning someone asked if they had broken up. He said "NO, there has been no breakup".
August 2022 She has banned/blocked as many people as she can possibly think of that are on Reddit and still spends more time on her phone than with her children.
She is making plans to move to North Carolina. She had originally planned to move there to be closer to her family that lives there. She changed her mind and put down 6 Months rent on a house very close to where J lives.
All the while She flirts openly with men while doing battles and makes comments that any self respecting woman would not say in public.
Jordan tells her he misses her and loves her.
She is falling apart mentally. She can't muster enough support to do the rankings. She can't admit to herself that she has messed up.
Three days before she made the move, Jonathan broke up with her via text. "He screwed me over!!! I have Kids!!!" - There are two sides to every story and Jonathan respectfully and very much in public, told his story via 2 lives on 9/17 and 9/18. (edited)
2022 August Her apartment in WV is paid for until the end of August, but she decides to move the first weekend of the month. In the middle of packing up the U-Haul truck to make her move, she claimed Josh wrote her letter asking her not to move, he still loves her and wants her call him. The handwriting is very feminine. She also claimed that during the night or maybe it was the drive, someone vandalized her Jeep and cut the serpentine belt.
She made her move to NC the weekend of the(Aug) 5th. She wouldn’t tell anyone where, then asked for help unloading the U-Haul at the storage area. She ended up doing most of it alone. She hired someone to help for 2 hours to move the heavy items. She even bragged bout how she got the storage space for one month free! Of course her location is secret. BUT!!! Several times in a very inebriated state mentioned where she was moving. Probably to throw us all off her trail. She was staying in an Air BnB on the beach until her rental home is ready. Jonathan was being an adult. He explained the “why” in one of his coffee lives He said he is basically not ready emotionally and most of all mentally and is seeing a therapist. More importantly, his children come first!!!!
8/18/2022 SizeMatters - (Mr Kentucky 2) She drove 11 hours to meet him for the first time in person. This is after dropping her children off (I think) and spend a couple of nights there. They made several videos together. She taught him how to create a wish list and drove the 11 hours home. All the while, texting (TT'ing) and talking to her Squad while driving. Dakota has a very troubled past and associating with her was not good for his mental health. She went to spend another weekend with him a couple of weeks later. This weekend just happened to be the one before school starts. She may or may not have taken her 14 year old daughter on that trip. If she didn't take C on the trip, the speculation is that she left her at home alone or dropped her off at her grandfathers. People in her chat were confused about which lie to perpetuate and a couple insinuated that she was with them.
After that weekend, people were even more toxic in his Lives and he and FGF stopped being “Official”. He had to step away for his sobriety. He appears to be doing very well now and leads some sobriety chats a couple of days a week. She has said several times it if wasn't for the ugliness in his chat they would still be together.
September 2022
(9/1/2022) FGF needed help moving everything from her storage to her new rental house. KevTrain was kind enough to offer during one of their ranking battles and she took him up on it. We are not sure if they did the deed, but we do know she was totally drunk outside of a hotel room doing a Live while he was inside the room walking around. It looked like he was pacing back and forth. He did help her move that weekend. Afterwards she verbally abused one of his Mods which was the wrong thing to do. Given the choice of his Mod or her, he chose the Mod.
Then they mutually told people (when asked), that they were both cool people. Since then Kev has made it very clear in several video comments and Lives that he has nothing to do with her at all.
No Specific Date here – Just September 2022 - She is visiting her "Loyer" (s) to see about shutting down the Reddit group. “It is all lies” She has never tried to cancel or harm anyone’s reputation on TT, she has never done anything the Red Eye Snarks said she did. She is very upset all the big creators are not rallying to support her. She has never driven after drinking, she never drive while not paying attention to the road. She never did all these things that there are many videos of her doing.
9/10/2022 She created another count down video series. For meeting her new TT Crush. (She has to stay relevant somehow.)
(9/17/2022 – Kyle comes to visit. The have never met in person. Already calling her "Babe" and "Pumpkin" in chat. He is coming across as if he is a kid in high school talking to his sweetheart. Originally he had a time off of Mon to Wed, as of 9/18 he has an open return to home date. Speculation is he either quit his job or got fired. When he went home, he did go to work, so he was not fired.
Friday or Saturday night - Three of his Ex's went Live to discuss him. They called him a womanizer, user and he even hit one of their children in the mouth.
He owes a lot of back child support. One of those ex's was his BabyMama who he still has a very close relationship with.
Sunday they went fishing, got drunk and went live after they got home. They drank all night long. When they pulled up to the house, Kyle ranted that her Daughter left all the lights on in the house.
Her daughter was home since it was a Sunday night and she had school the next day. FGF and Kyle drank all night. They got off Live at about 5:30AM Monday.
9/21/2022 – Kyle left to go home for a "dentist appointment".
On 9/22 FGF said he is going back to his BabyMamma. SMH! Was it just for clout? to raise money? was his BM involved?
She is back in all her mens chats, but when it comes to gifting during a battle... Her "Battle Cry" is "I can't reload"so she is unable to send them gifts.
2022 October 10/1/2022 FGF has been using her alternate account and while flirting with Risk it 4 da bizket (Tommy) she changed it to include part of his name. He changed his backup account to something like hers (I'll fix this later) – Tommy DROVE from Oklahoma to North Carolina to visit with her. He said he would not get out of his truck unless his subscriber numbers went up.
They attended on-line church together and she made sure people knew they were there by demanding to be in the box
They have also gone fishing where she told their followers that if anyone sent them a lion they would eat a worm. If his follower - he would. If her cult member - she would. They spent the evening making emotes for his subscribers. No sign of her child being home for this visit.
They “appear” to be a "solid" couple on the outside. Attending online church, taking tithes when sent…
There is a lot of concern that fgf is leaving her teenage daughter ALONE with T more than is appropriate. He is also talking to her as if he is has "stepfather". He called himself her "Bonus Dad". When FGF went to pick up the Littles, she left them alone. He spends the majority of his time in his truck on TT and the Daughter is in the house.
(((Total side note, the daughter created a hidden TT account. When her Mom found out, she took the phone away. Many RRs saw the videos and agree that this is one time that FGF did the right thing by taking the phone away; BUT has not given her much more attention. She is in her vehicle on TT while T is in his vehicle on TT.))
10/14/2022 FGF held a DV Awareness Live" and spent the majority of the time talking about herself and her issues and feelings. The people in the box all had an opportunity to speak, but most were squad members who allowed her to talk over them.
10/15/2022 FGF alters 2 different dresses for the Daughter to wear to Home Coming. She spent all day doing it and made a big production on live about her sewing skills.
T appears to be restless and bored. Speculation is that as soon as he has the funds (from battles) he will be leaving. They have both been coy when asked when he is leaving. The answer is always "Christmas".
October 28th something happened, He left her house and moved into a hotel. He stayed there for several days. He finally left after much harassment from her. She even said if he came back just to BOINK her she would meet him somewhere because he was “that good”
She has spent the month of November pining over phantom men. Crocheting, Knitting on expensive knitting machines *again her cult pays for everything. She has no real job. If asked, she says “TikTok is my job”. Her money comes from “gifts” from her cult.
She was on live 11/19 and went to a bar. She told the guy who tried to talk to her that there were 689 people there with her and she was “working”. He touched her jeans and she flipped out.
An hour or so later (3am) she is ready to leave and gets in the UBER and the driver calls out her address and says “is this where we are going” and FGF says Yes. She doxed herself.
When she got home, she smoked on the front porch then went inside and got her karaoke microphone out and started to sing into it. LOUD. Her daughter was asleep in the other room. She drank several beers and then brandished a pack of small fireball bottles and said she was going to drink them too.
At 5:30am she is in her chat with 3 other people and they are trying to convince her to log off and go to sleep. She screeches out several times that all she wants to do is get BOINKED. Keep in mind … 14 year old daughter in the other room.
She has repeated the “go to bar, act important, come home get trashed and make an even bigger fool of herself on TT” several times – it could be her new Saturday night thing.
12/6 Mike I told her he is into her in the middle of the night. She mocked him in a live a little later in the day. He keeps calling her Bruh and Dude. She really is one of the guys.
Manny MAY be figuring her out. In the mean time she keeps talking ab out all the nasty pictures they send back and forth. Regardless he is in it for the $$ and the clout and they have plans to get together sometime during the Christmas break.
Sometime in mid December she drove to visit Manny. This was before the planned date. It was not a good visit. Rumor has it he felt catfished. He has been a polite man so far and has not “spilled the tea” on their visit. There are videos of his slapping her upside the head with some slice ham. YES, lunch meat. SHE says they “did it” several times and then she realized they were not a good fit. She left in the middle of the night, after drinking a lot while live on TT
She got a hotel room and called Mike I. At 3:30am for sympathy. She (who just climbed out of some strange mans bed) is mad because Mike said he was talking to someone named Megan. She went home the next day, worked on her knitting and planned her future with Mike I.
She apparently told Mike he was always the one. They made plans for him to actually fly to see her. Her plan was to fly to him first (as a surprise since he had never flown before) and they would then fly back to NC together. Because there were ice storms forecasted all over the country, she went a few days early.
She “tried” to do rankings. She never had enough people who were gifting her to get very far. She did get to # 4 once. It was enough to pay rent. While Mike was there, and she was sleeping, Mike did battles on her account. He did very well and when she woke up, he had progressed pretty high. That may be the day she got to #4. Apparently there is/was an issue with her not giving him some of the money from the battles he participated in. He did work hard.
2023
She suffered alone for almost a month. Then she and Mike talked and decided they were meant to be together. He flew back to NC and lasted less than a week. He was sick when he got there. Went to ER, had bronchitis. She cooked for him when she rarely cooks for her children.
Then she got sick and he spent all his time on line and did nothing for her. Then she took him to a bar to watch the Cowboys game (they lost) and she decided she was going out. She needed alone time. With Mike she left her 14 year old daughter alone in the house with him. This is a scary pattern. She came home. They argued. She kicked him out somewhere between 3:30am and 4:30am. Got him a Uber and a hotel room. Now (1/25) they are talking about each other and acting like children. She posted the argument in 10 parts on one of her accounts.
1/25/2023 She is on the prowl again. Hair done, new nails and wearing a shirt that exposes her boobies. All while telling her squad and whoever else will listen, how much she appreciates them for all they have given her. “It doesn’t matter how much or if you gift her at all.”
February and March were filled with the SheFish on the prowl. She had a couple of close calls. One flat out told her he would not sleep with her. Another even said he caught a Catfish and then did not get involved with her.
She also tried several times to Rank and failed. Her content is filled with defending her choice in men and saying that everything posted on "Reddit" is a lie.
Her step-brother chose not to live any longer and she used that for as much sympathy and views as she possibly could. Streaming the funeral cars, the “wake, the strife internally in the family and showing everyone drinking and then possibly getting in their cars driving. "Reddit" spent a lot of time discussing her children’s lack of appropriate clothing for a funeral.
A group of people from "Reddit" formed yet another Discord to keep their activities private and then went live on TT, spending many hours bashing her and her lifestyle. Bringing her ex-fishermen into the lives and having them tell their stories. I’m not sure how successful that was. I only watched one time. She talks about Reddit as if it was on person...
March 30th, she was successful. She suckered a new victim into her bed. When she asked him (when they met) if he was happy, he said “you look different”. He didn’t leave or run…YET!

CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 6:02 AM u/Biniu10 We saw some nice border changes in the Darklands, but can we expect any new settlements? Would you consider re-using some chaos dwarfs mechanics to update races from older games? Many of them are perfect for other races: labourers for Dark Elves, trade system for High Elves and Forge for Dawi Sean: You can, we added 7 new regions to the Realms of Chaos map and 5 new regions to the Immortal Empires map (edited)📷67📷24
[6:04 AM]@LucynaMarzec Not exactly CD related but, is Patch 3.0 going to be Just Chaos Dwarfs and FLC's or can we also expect balance changes to existing factions Sean: Our primary focus was working on the Chaos Dwarfs however we did spend a fair bit of time fixing lots of bugs and adding a series of Quality of Life improvements, such as the nested tooltips, a new Daemon Prince Gifts filter, searchable locations/Landmarks in campaign, unit cards in skill tooltips (edited)📷54📷47📷4
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 6:12 AM u/Leshy Why no Chaos Siege Giant in the roster? 📷 Rich: We did take a look at the Chaos Siege Giant when planning out the roster. But with so much firepower at the hands of the Chaos Dwarfs and things that could already take on gates/walls we felt that we wanted to focus on the more core aspects of the race such as the Dreadquake Mortar, Skullcracker and for me personally having seen it in the flesh at Games Day some years back the Ka'daai Destroyer was an absolute must. So as I say, never say never to seeing things like the Siege Giant in the future, it certainly has a place in the Total War: WARHAMMER universe and we have a healthy amount of content to share with you over the coming months and years with WARHAMMER III. (edited)📷63📷26📷11📷10📷11📷12📷12📷12📷9📷6📷1
[6:13 AM]@Tseims.eth In Dwarf vs. Chaos Dwarf matchups, how do you win? It seems like Chaos Dwarfs are just better at everything other than armor Sean: The Chaos Dwarfs' artillery pieces though powerful are individual entities, Dwarf artillery has the advantage when focus firing these weapons to destroy them - this forces Chaos Dwarfs to approach the Dwarf defensive lines where the Dwarfs are still proficient. (edited)📷55📷55📷57📷55📷55📷29📷11
[6:15 AM]@Oh_Man[TFE] How did you go about creating the personalities for these Legendary Lords that have very little presence in the lore? Sean: Fortunately what lore there is of these characters paints a very strong picture of their identity which we were able to draw from, we also worked closely with Games Workshop to make sure the direction we were taking the characters was true to their original intent. (edited)📷25📷11📷18📷16📷15📷15📷16📷9📷3
[6:18 AM]@LionSaurus Chaos Dwarfs look amazing, great mechanics, the drill mechanic looks like a lot of fun (and hopefully it will be accessible in immortal empires as well!) I'm curious - as someone who loves seeing epic items being added to the fold and with how you can get extra epic items from the drill mechanic - is this something you might be looking to do more or is it dependent on the content? As someone who loves putting epic items on my characters I hope you guys will do more of this in the future 📷 PS. Ulrika looks absolutely fantastic Sean: We are big fans of these important powerful items too and are always looking for ways to get them into the game when appropriate, we particularly like the impact the Sword of Khaine had on the whole game as factions vied for control. We are looking at which epic items can be added to create a similarly powerful experience for all. (edited)📷30📷3📷6📷4📷2📷2📷3📷2📷6📷4📷1📷1
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 6:22 AM u/Oh_Man[TFE] How did you go about creating the personalities for these Legendary Lords that have very little presence in the lore? Rich: Super question and one that the team and I actually really enjoy when things are a little grey. Our approach is very much to absorb all the information that we can find on the character and race. Be it from army books, White Dwarf supplements, Black Libary novels, etc... We also look at other pop culture references, media, and games. What we don't look at for inspiration are fan sites and fan-made content, as what we make needs to be true to the IP. Then from this come up with a theme/role for the character that will work for the gameplay that we are wanting and feels appropriate for the IP. We know from community feedback for example that players are looking for melee specialists, magical users, and beefy monsters. So we use this info and combine it with the visual elements of the characters and thematics of the race to build the personality. It's really important that we create this bio, as ultimately it's what we discuss with Games Workshop and then hand over to our audio team to work with in bringing out an actor's performance. Likewise, it helps us develop the art and more importantly our animations. Using Zhatan for example, we wanted to capture his dark and cruel vibe through his sinister laughter. Something which you will see in his Lord Select video both in animation and audio. But it goes further than that, we build this cruel personality into his traits, actions, motion, and the like. Basically anywhere where we feel we can, we will look to push the theme of that character to 10. That's what is so fun about WARHAMMER, all the characters are larger than life. I hope this gives you a little insight into the fun jobs and amazing relationships we have with Games Workshop. (edited)📷8📷7📷9📷8📷6📷4📷27📷4
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 6:31 AM u/Seth717 will you make the AI more aggressive, and make better armies for more challenge? Sean: We are always looking to improve the overall game and have made some adjustments to the AI in Patch 3.0, we tend to make subtle adjustments rather than larger leaps as we are cautious about not going too far the other way. (edited)📷43📷3📷1📷5📷4📷6📷4📷4📷4📷4
[6:33 AM]@man What's up with the refusal to use the word "slave" in the new dlc? Rich: Labour captured the intent behind what we wanted to do for the Chaos Dwarfs. We felt that the Chaos Dwarfs' singular focus on exploiting the resources of the world and treating the world's peoples as a resource was their driving motivator - to them, people are just Labour. We still think the term has its place for example with the Dark Elves, the Druchii are more sadistic and take pleasure in enslaving others, to Chaos Dwarfs it's not pleasure, but just resource gathering for the ever-growing industrial machine of Zharr Naggrund. (edited)📷68📷4📷23📷8📷11📷10📷9📷10📷11📷10📷10📷2📷1📷3
[6:35 AM]@Kill_zone Hello, will stranded bearers for units ever come to the game like in previous total wars? Rich: No plans for them at this time I'm afraid. (edited)📷17📷9📷16📷5📷10📷27📷6
[6:36 AM]@Hypex Will we see any more in-depth mechanics (like the tower of zarr) for other factions in the future? something deep and perhaps shared across the other factions of your race? Sean: We always try to learn from our previous features, if we get feedback that the shared cultural features is fun you can bet we will create something similar and do our best to improve on it📷29📷28📷28📷9📷25📷9
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 6:40 AM u/Xerxes In the Astragoth blog, you said that future releases will have three legendary lords and one legendary lord. Is this only for race dlcs or will future lord packs also have 3 legendary lords and 1 legendary hero? Rich: So, we are looking to mix things up with some new and exciting ideas for the Total War: WARHAMMER DLC. You have seen some of this already with the release of Champions of Chaos which featured 4 Legendary Lords and again you are now seeing with the Forge of the Chaos Dwarf DLCs more Legendary Heroes being introduced into the mix. Expect us to tinker around with a few other ideas and plans in the future as we aim to get you the best, most fun, and most engaging content possible. We will have plenty more on this and what to expect in the future. I can't wait to share it with you all.📷37📷9📷6📷6📷6📷6📷14📷3📷4📷4📷1📷1📷6📷2📷1
[6:42 AM]@mecanojavi99 Will the Chaos Dwarfs ever get more content or is this the only content they'll ever get? Be it either trough DLC or FLC. Sean: Our ambition has always been to bring every piece of the WARHAMMER Fantasy world to life, we have years of support still to come, so never say never. If we hear that you all want more we will do our best to find a way to deliver it.📷55📷24📷11📷16📷10
[6:44 AM]@Alkeks Will the dark elf slave mechanic see some update/changes to be on par with the chaos dwarfs? Sean: For 3.0 our focus was primarily on Chaos Dwarfs and creating a cohesive experience that for them; however we are hearing loud and clear that the Dark Elves Slave mechanic isn't good enough - we will certainly look into making improvements.📷68📷32📷22📷8📷3📷5
[6:45 AM]@Biggest Chorf that ever Chorfed Will confederations and anti player bias be fixed in 3.0? Rich: We found some interesting things with regard to anti-player bias recently in the code base. So we are now actively looking to make some positive changes here for you all, they won't make it into the release of Chaos Dwarfs with where we are now in getting ready for release. But we will aim to get them into an update(s) thereafter.📷32📷23📷18📷18📷19📷18📷3📷2📷3📷11📷3📷1
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 6:48 AM u/redwing Beastmen can confederate other LLs through their mechanics, and it also works on dead LLs. Is it so for chorfs? Sean: The Chaos Dwarfs can confederate each other through the Tower of Zharr even if their faction is dead yes - we saw it was a popular part of the Beastmen feature and wanted to make sure we carried that over.📷29📷66📷41📷10📷7📷2📷5📷1📷3📷4
[6:49 AM]@Hot-Wheels Doomstack Since we now have Hobgoblins within the ranks of the Chaos Dwarfs, has there been any changes or additions to the Eastern Steppes? Rich: So, in working closely with Games Workshop we have given a nod to the Hobgoblin Kharnate via a couple of the Wolf Rider units and Ogla Khan's ROR unit. Hope you have fun with them, but don't expect any more characters or units from this part of the world for now. We have lots more other cool and exciting things to develop and play around with, which we hope you will all enjoy in the future.📷43📷29📷10📷12📷28📷3📷3📷1📷17📷6📷2📷3📷4
[6:51 AM]@Ungolf Will the dwarfen ancester relics from the chaos dwarf narrative campaign be available outside of it in immortal empires, for example like rare items to find or as items the dwarfs can craft in their forge? Sean: The Chaos Dwarfs can access some of these Relics in Immortal Empires as part of their Victory Condition rewards, we haven't made them available for the Dwarfs with 3.0 - but we have seen a lot of people ask for this and will look to address that in the future.📷60📷7📷13📷24📷4📷10📷2
[6:52 AM]@realsquee hello, how many types of heroes do chaos dwarfs get? Sean: The Chaos Dwarfs have 3 regular Heroes: Infernal Castellan, Bull Centaur Taur'ruk, and Daemonsmith Sorcerer they also have 1 Legendary Hero in Gorduz Backstabber.📷48📷16📷3📷4
[6:53 AM]@Vaporized Cogitator What mechanics and victory conditions difference can we expect for Chaos Dwarfs in Realm of chaos compared to Immortal Empires? Do they retain everything? Sean: The Great Drill of Hashut is only in the Realms of Chaos as that is our more narrative-driven campaign, however, some of the Ancestor Relics from that feature are available in Immortal Empires.📷31📷38📷29📷1📷12📷2
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 6:55 AM u/Sasom are we getting new ''old world update/reworks'' in the futur? Sean: We didn't have time for any significant updates to other factions with Forge of the Chaos Dwarfs, but as was the case in Total War: WARHAMMER II DLC when we look to create new content for a faction we start with how we can improve the race overall. So you can expect us to make improvements to old races in the future but it will usually be a faction that is part of the content we are developing. (edited)📷17📷31📷47📷6📷7📷8📷7📷13📷21📷3📷18📷3📷2📷3📷7📷3📷6
[7:01 AM]@Belan When you are implementing a new faction, how do you gauge/test where their endgame power is relative to other factions (number and quality of armies/lord strength/confederation)? Sean: It's a very tricky task, we keep track of all the bonuses we are giving out through the various areas of the game; whether that's skill trees, technologies, or features. We try to make sure we aren't overpowering any particular units or campaign buffs when doing this but ultimately it comes down to playtesting and feedback. The hardest area to balance is the end game though, due to the length of our campaigns, and the many different campaign variations from each playthrough it is a significant time investment for each of us to playtest deep into the campaigns to get a varied amount of feedback to work with.📷38📷7📷4📷4📷1📷2
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 7:02 AM u/lord of discord Will the Chaos Dwarfs RORs be earned by leveling up or will this have a unique mechanic? Sean: They are earned by levelling up 📷📷50📷3📷1📷5📷9
[7:06 AM]@Aslo Hello! I would like to ask about your superb team! How do you organize a DLC production and how many people are generally involved? (I've heard rumors of 20 people that sounds super unrealistic) Rich: First off, thank you very much for your extremely kind words. That means a lot to me and the team that you think so highly of us. It certainly comes with its fair share of challenges, but what I will say is that the team is super passionate about what we make so we are always on hand to support one another, get our hands dirty when we need to and ask for help when needed. I've always thought, that you are only ever as good as the team around you and I'm really lucky to have an amazing team around me. We have certainly grown over the years, when we first started on this great endeavour it was me, Andy Hall, and a couple of designers. Thinking back now to where we are today has been quite the journey and wow how things have changed, as more designers, coders, artists, and the like have joined the team. I don't have a number to share with you on the overall team size as we do eb and flow from project to project and we aren't just a development team, we reach way beyond that these days with the help of our community team, branding, and cinematics teams, QA, IT and so many other invaluable people that help us make the content we love putting together for you. I hope this gives you a little taster of things here and why we all love doing the jobs that we do.📷10📷42📷4📷1📷3📷1
[7:07 AM]@Lozzen Will there be new landmarks for the Chaos Dwarves and will you implement further landmarks for all races in the coming future for IE? Sean: There are new landmarks for the Chaos Dwarfs and we have added some landmarks that benefit other races too. We will keep looking to add landmarks to special locations; we keep can a close eye on feedback too, so if there is a particular landmark people feel is missing and should be in-game, we will look to get it in 📷📷47📷44📷17
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 7:21 AM u/Lance Demerzel Hello Rich and Sean, One of the main features of the Chaos Dwarfs is their ability to build towers, factories, and other structures everywhere and "spread their darkness" ala Sauron throughout the world. In other words, they paint the map. However, the current settlement system seems a bit hard-coded, and settlements do not change in appearance when taken by the Chaos Dwarfs or any other faction. Even when rebuilt from ruins, they keep the original aspect of their previous owner. My question is simple: Will we see a "dynamic settlement" system implemented in the future, where cities will slightly change over time or become more in line with the current owner's design and look? This is a feature that has been requested by the community quite frequently recently. Is it something that CA is considering? Sean: There are technical limitations to us doing this, our battle maps are selected based on a series of files that do not change during a campaign. If a settlement was to change its campaign visual we wouldn't be able to change its in-battle visual to match. As with all things, nothing is impossible but it would be pretty costly to change this - so it is something we have considered but haven't acted on.📷33📷23📷26📷1📷4📷10📷5
[7:22 AM]@xamdam Are you guys planning to update character trees for some of the WHI races? Some of them still have a very barebones skill tree Sean: All characters are candidates for an update and if there are any characters that people feel are particularly outdated, let us know and we will give them a fast-track pass for an update 📷📷46📷7📷24📷5📷22📷25📷32📷2📷4📷4📷4📷5📷4📷4📷4📷4📷9
[7:24 AM]@tirrene What lores of magic will the Chorfs have access to? I am assuming Fire at the very least, but will there be a unique lore of Hashut, same as the lores of the four lads and the Skaven spell lores? Or will they just get the usual Chaos-ish mix of Metal, Shadows and Death? Sean: Chaos Dwarf Daemonsmith Sorcerers and Sorcerer Prophets have access to Hashut, Fire, Metal, and Death magic 📷📷40📷2📷26📷20📷1📷1📷1
[7:26 AM]@DTAPPSNZ Hey guys, how does the team make the decisions about what characters should be Legendary Heroes and what characters should be Legendary Lords? Does Table Top, Lore or GW make difference? and Thanks for Ulrika btw. Rich: Great question and one that we aren't strictly bound by the army books as you have seen in the past with content added to the trilogy. The key here for us when looking for a new Legendary Lord is what type of DLC pack are we creating. How will the character be added to the game? i.e. rivalry with another, standalone focus/feature, etc... If the character is part of a race already with the game, how can they bring a fresh experience or supplement those already in the game? How do they function and fit within the lore of Warhammer? For those with truly offer that fresh experience whether that be a Lord or Hero from the lore, we look to promote them up to the Legendary Lord status. For those which maybe complement other units/features etc.. we tend to allocate these to the Legendary Hero status. For example with The Forge of the Chaos Dwarfs, Gorduz Backstabber was given the role of a Legendary Hero because of his lore background, Chaos Dwarfs only look down on Hobgoblins. So having him as LL just wouldn't feel right for the product or setting. It did mean though that we could have some fun with him, in how we could use him gameplay-wise to be recruitable by any LL and have him push the limits of what the heavy wolf rider army could do. Another example would be say Tiktaq'to for the Lizardmen, he's a Hero in the lore. But his unique selling point was very much the idea of taking to the skies and promoting the idea of a flying Lizardmen army, something that hadn't been possible until his introduction. So it felt only right to boost this as much as possible by making him a LL so that all of his characteristics and traits could be applied faction wide, rather than just to a single army which is more the role of a LH. Hope this helps a little with how we go about things and why one character might be elevated over another into the role of a Legendary Lord.📷37📷12📷4📷2📷4📷3📷1
[7:27 AM]@Balthazar’s Belt Will the dwarfs be getting a rework to be more in line with WH3 races this year? Sean: We are very aware of the communities feelings on the matter and we would love to update all factions and races over the course of Total War: WARHAMMER III so that they are fun and engaging and competitive with one another, we'll see. It's in the book!📷32📷27📷48📷33📷3📷18📷4📷1
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 7:33 AM u/TacoBell1157 Will the chaos dwarfs receive new regiments of renown periodically like the other warhammer 3 races? Sean: We won't be adding any Regiments of Renown as we have for the base Total War: WARHAMMER III races no. We chose to add these units for the base races as we were conscious in WARHAMMER II some races had to wait far longer than others to get any, and with our plan to release Champions of Chaos and then Chaos Dwarfs we didn't want players waiting for over a year for any Regiments of Renown for the base races.📷20📷1📷2📷7📷2📷4📷3📷3📷3📷3
[7:37 AM]@Jeyne What language do the Dawi Zharr units and Lords speak? Do they also have English voicelines? Rich: So, the Dawi Zharr speak their own language called Zharazalid. Andy Hall will be doing a deep-dive interview into this very soon, where he can explain how the language was established and developed for the game 📷📷4748📷23📷7📷1📷8📷9📷8📷8📷8📷8📷8📷8📷1📷1📷1📷1
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 7:41 AM u/josh1- We have seen the update to lore of fire, do we have a second wind of magic update with 3.0? We had two last time (and this time around the price is higher). Thanks Sean: We only have the Lore of Fire this time as we were developing the new Lore of Hashut, we do intend to continue upgrading our older lores of magic in the future though.📷36📷2📷14📷9📷1
[7:42 AM]@Chará Monachikí How is Gorduz Backstabba recruited? And how do you "claim him" if the AI/another player was faster than you? Sean: Gorduz will be accessible via a special mission that will fire after you construct any Hobgoblin recruitment building, the mission requires you to recruit a certain number of Hobgoblin units. The AI will not be able to recruit Gorduz if you are playing as Chaos Dwarfs, and in MP the first player to recruit him will get him for the campaign.📷22📷3📷30📷11
[7:44 AM]@Kordain How many non playable chorf factions will there be? Edit: How spread out will they be? strictly darklands? or maye a bit further? Sean: There are two non-playable Chaos Dwarf factions: Servants of the Conclave and Overlords of Zharrduk, they are both in the Darklands.📷35📷1📷2
[7:47 AM]@KroozaNob the Coolest Merc What were the factors in choosing to flesh out more the race mechanics rather than the subfaction ones? Rich: With any new race that we add to the trilogy we need to establish the foundations first with their core mechanics and Chaos Dwarfs is no different in this regard. It’s been a little while since we have added a truly new race to the series with the last being the Vampire Coast, so going back and creating a pack of this type once more has been extremely exciting. The big difference you have already alluded to is that with packs of this type, all the characters need a number of basic features and mechanics to play off. To give a feeling of the race from the lore and its fundamental themes. This of course takes plenty of effort across the team, in terms of its design, feel, and aesthetics, and is our key focus. With Lord packs, we already have these core foundations built, either from a main game release such as Total War: WARHAMMER III or a previous DLC such as the Wood Elves or Beastmen. This means in these Lord packs we can push the envelope further to differentiate these new characters by giving them bespoke mechanics, full-screen features, etc. As you will have hopefully seen we do come back to some of the original cast from a race from time to time, so as much as our characters are the way they are today for the release of Chaos Dwarfs it doesn't mean that they will stay that way forever as the game evolves with your help.📷25📷7📷4
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 7:48 AM u/Frills Will there be a Hat DLC to update all other legendary lords so that they can have cool hats too? Rich: If only, we are all planning on wearing our own big hats on launch day in the office to celebrate the release of the new DLC 📷📷48📷22📷3📷19📷8📷9📷5📷8📷8📷7📷7
[7:50 AM]@kisg Can we expect a new sea lane on the River Ruin if it's navigable now in IE? Maybe in the future? From the lore we know that the Chaos Dwarfs excavated a long tunnel so they can reach the Sea of Chaos in the north from the Darklands. Sean: We have added a Sea Lane from the River Ruin up to the Frozen Sea in Immortal Empires 📷📷116📷35📷13📷19📷29📷8
[7:52 AM]@Matcart Will there be FLCs to Chorfs in the neanot near future? Cause 3 lords for that price is a bit much. Rich: No plans currently, this is arguably our biggest-ever army roster for the Total War: WARHAMMER Series. Who/what is it that you would like to see as FLC for them?📷35📷4📷1📷10📷12📷10📷11📷11📷10📷2📷4📷3📷3📷3📷2
[7:55 AM]@Drakki Hello! How will the players be able to recruit Ulrika the Vampire for Empire and Kislev factions? Will it be possible to have Her and Felix in a army lead by Gotrek for old times sake? Sean: Once any character in an Empire or Kislev players faction reaches rank 12 a mission chain will begin, completing this mission chain will give the option to recruit Ulrika. And yes Ulrika can be teamed up with Gotrek and Felix 📷📷40📷11📷15📷1
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 7:56 AM u/Saruman has there been any tweaks to the auto resolve so that it is less forgiving on higher difficulties Sean: There have been some tweaks to the auto resolver yes, and we are also looking into several other potential issues with the auto resolver however we try to be careful with these changes as they are so wide-reaching.📷21
[8:00 AM]@Anndra Is there any plan to bring some of the more defining campaign mechanics from the Vortex in TWW2 into Immortal Empires, for instance the underwater battle to control the merwyrm for the vampire pirates, or the Clan Eshin objective to steal Tzaar'kan off Malus Darkblade? that was very flavourful and fun and it would add a lot of spice to those factions to have this back in Immortal Empires Rich: It's on our radar for sure and the more things like this that you would like to see make a reappearance please continue to let us know, as we balance the mix of new stuff, general improvements, and bringing back older content into Immortal Empires with its various tech advancements.📷74📷10📷22📷30📷32📷31📷15📷5📷1📷2📷1
[8:01 AM]@LennoxPoodle Will the AI be able to recruit Gorduz if no player is playing Chaos Dwarfs? Sean: Yes, if there are no human Chaos Dwarf players the AI will get access to Gorduz on turn 30.📷25
[8:02 AM]@tirrene What lores of magic will the Chorfs have access to? I am assuming Fire at the very least, but will there be a unique lore of Hashut, same as the lores of the four lads and the Skaven spell lores? Or will they just get the usual Chaos-ish mix of Metal, Shadows and Death? Rich: They do indeed have the brand new and unique Lore of Hashut, some of the spells have been shown off in our recent Legendary Lord Showcases. They will also have access to the lores of Fire, Metal, and Death.📷9📷10📷5📷10📷11📷10📷10📷10📷3
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 8:04 AM u/Dad D Hello, with this dlc moving to 3 legendary lords instead of 4 in a race pack (and Ogres 2) do you think the possibility is open to add legendary lords to such races in the future? I know that usually came in future games from such race packs, but well, third in a trilogy 📷 Rich: Absolutely, as you may have seen in the past we have added extra Legendary Lords to some of our Race and Campaign packs for free such as Drycha and Morghur. Likewise, we have bolstered some races with further Lord packs and FLC, so never say never, the WARHAMMER world has a lot of characters that we would love to try and get into the series at some point if possible.📷36📷5📷5📷8📷8📷9📷8📷3📷2
[8:05 AM]@Wille912 Will Ghorth the Cruel be like Boris Toddbringer? A Seudo LL that we can only unlock with confederation. But we wont get with a DLC. And will we get Rykarth the Unbreakable? (as a Legendary hero) Rich: Ghorth for the time being absolutely dwells in the background. As for Boris, well as I've said in the past he has a bigger role to play down the road and will eventually have his day! 📷📷24📷56📷23📷39📷40📷10📷41📷40📷24📷2📷2📷3📷3
[8:06 AM]@Quasi Heya Rich/Sean. Hmm how can i word this as a CD question... With hobgoblins being lesser entities in the CD roster does this mean we might see some halflings in the empire ranks and a possible hafling hero or two 📷 Rich: What are you trying to cook up here 📷 They are some of my dearest models from when I was just a wee lad playing tabletop and I'd personally love to see the Hotpot Catapult and its chef crew make an appearance in protecting the Moot; so maybe one day. (edited)📷3📷30📷17📷17📷43📷10📷15📷11📷11📷18📷11📷2📷2📷1📷4📷5📷3📷3
[8:08 AM]@Araqael Hey! Thanks for hosting the AMA and for making the game! One of the more controversial aspects of the unit roster reveal was the choice to turn the Immortals into an RoR unique unit. Given how much effort was apparently put into the Immortals with an entirely unique appearance, could you shed some light for us on the reasoning why you've decided to make them so exclusive? From what I can gather it was the Infernal Ironsworn that were overwhelmingly expected by the community to turn up as an RoR instead, with the Immortals forming the top-tier infantry choice for the Chorfs. Sean: In Tamurkhan, Infernal Ironsworn were Special units and like many other similarly categorised units such as Bull Centaur Renders or K'daai Fireborn we felt they were best represented as a core unit.📷36
[8:10 AM]@PowYo Will the legendary lords from warhammer 3 get their own high quality portraits like the legendary lords from the second game have? Rich: That's our long-term plan and if possible and it will take a lot and I mean a lot of work. I'd love to update all the regular lords and heroes to this quality bit by bit in the future. But for now, the focus is very much on getting all Legendary characters on par with one another.📷19📷31
📷CA_Yuey📷 — Today at 8:18 AM u/The-Stick_UK How's your day going have you enjoyed developing this dlc? Rich: Good thanks, always fun to hang out and chat with the community. 100% we have all enjoyed working on this DLC, for me, it's been a real passion project. I've kinda been dreaming of this moment since shortly after starting work on WH1 some 10ish years ago. I know it's mad and bonkers to think that far back, but I always knew with the content of this one it was going to be so much fun to make. I still to this day remember fondly seeing the Chaos Dwarfs White Dwarf supplement in my local newsagent as a kid, so to end up not only working in the games industry but on this game and this DLC is an absolute dream come true. I'm hoping you and others will like playing it as much as i and the team have enjoyed making it.📷32📷35📷30📷15

The light is somewhat dim but the aroma of books is rich and unmistakable. You walk stealthily to avoid making any noise that would disrupt the readers as you approach the shelves. Roll a d120 to see which title catches your eye.

Roll	Result
1	Harold Haversham's Holisitic Handbook of Healing - At first it appears to be a beginners guide to crafting potions, however as the book progresses the author becomes more and more adamant that all ailments are purely mental. There is a detailed account in which the author was treating a man for a broken arm and healed it through weekly mental therapy sessions.
2	“How to Win Friends and Enchant People” - Despite the title, has nothing to do with magic, but it does have some good advice about how to make yourself seem more approachable.
3	Bardic Legends From Far Away Lands - A book about legends often sung or performed by bards.
4	Diamonds in the rough- A book on soul gems and their proper creation.
5	“Landmarks to Visit Before You Die” - Details a number of landmarks and monuments in a country or city you have never heard of
6	"The History of Art" - written descriptions of all the finest works of art, but sadly no pictures.
7	“Eat, Summon, Love” - A married woman realizes how unhappy her marriage really is, and that her life needs to go in a different direction. After a painful divorce, she joins a cult of necromancers to "find herself". Based on a true story.
8	“The Tao of Death” - This volume is missing from most sets after a book-burning campaign, but its existence is well known. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
9	How to capture your princess - A collection of dating tips, advices and tricks, written by, for, and to men. Use it at your own risk!
10	“The Spider King” - A fictional tale of an adventurer delving into the underdark to slay a fearsome giant spider.
11	“The Outside” - A self-written account by someone you know who saw a vision of them self as a small plastic figurine on a table surrounded by a number of god-like beings after they talked to a group of adventurers
12	The Legend of Atlas - A collection of the all the known myths and legends in the world from the beginning of the written to the present.
13	"Padhran and the Art of Cart Maintenance" - A guide to the path of the Padhra
14	“On Monstrous Races” - Discusses whether monstrous races should or should not be allowed into society
15	“The Tao of Secrets” - The existence of this volume is not widely known, and its veracity is debated among scholars; all claimed copies of this volume appear to consist entirely of blank pages, which nobody has ever manage to cast a spell to extract the information out of - thus suspicions that they're fake. But they do appear to be just as old as the other volumes ...
16	“The Geographica Gelatinousa” - 101 Oozes and How to Avoid Them
17	Hit The Apple, Not My Face!” - A Detailed Guide to Archery This book even includes instructions for constructing a simple bow and targets.
18	“So Long, and Thanks for All the Ale” - The story of Tarvish the dwarf, who had unpaid bar tabs worth a total of 10,000 gold all across the country before being arrested
19	Deck of Limiting Things - A collection of possibly true tales about people who used the deck of many things and the chaos that followed.
20	"Lockpicking and Bypassing" - a guide to defeating locks by a master dwarven locksmith.
21	“The Cantrip-bury Tales”
22	Halfling Histories - An incomplete telling of the tales of the half-folk
23	Baby Dragon Destroys the Village - A truly heartwarming children's book.
24	“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Adventurers” - A self-help book with an optimistic view of the steps a person must take to succeed as an independent contractor with a sword.
25	"The Maiden's Story" - a cautionary tale set in a patriarchal society.
26	Castle Architecture - A book about how castles and the like are constructed.
27	“Everyday Lives” - A compilation of the contents of journals which were obtained from ordinary people.
28	How To Waste Good Paper - The pages inside this book are beautifully designed with colorful trim and a flowery layout. Other than the title, however, this book has no content in its pages. (Detect Magic: It is a spellbook written with magical invisible ink (or runes, etchings, message, mark, whatever) detailing only one spell to learn: Detect Magic)
29	Magic in the House - The legacy of an archmage suffering from an obsession about cleanliness. Explains how to use the different schools of magic to help with the chores around your home. Apprentices around the world curse whoever thought its good for their training that they need to do those chores manually.
30	"The Dullard's Guide to Building a Castle" - an entry level instructional book on a complex topic.
31	"The Frozen North" - A guide to the topography and culture of the northern regions.
32	“I Can't Believe It's Not Harmless!” - A hefty guide of herbs, mushrooms and berries that surround the city where the book was found. It contains accurate annotations of the ailments due to consumption or touch, with descriptive drawings of people having diarrhea or throwing up.
33	"Understanding Wood" - a classic for any literate woodworker.
34	"The Recipe" - an inspiring guide to self-actualization
35	“The Potion Diaries” - One Girl’s Intoxicating Adventures by Madame S. Ruth
36	“Incredible Creatures and How to Kill Them” - Details weaknesses monsters are known to have. It is part of a five-volume set; the first volume is for beginners (level 1-4), the second for the somewhat experienced (level 5-8) and so on.
37	“The Tao of Life” - This volume is the thickest, but somehow the least complete; it contains many anatomical diagrams, as well as several normative references to The Tao of Death. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
38	"The Kobold Fight Club" - a fictional tale of a secret society that has a surprise ending. No longer in print.
39	The very hungry Chimera- A children's book detailing the complicated diet of a magical monster. It ends with the chimaera eating an adventuring party and falling asleep.
40	"The Art of Combat" - an ancient strategy tome that is studied by anyone with a military education.
41	“Human?” - Story about an ogre who, despite his incompetence, convinced everyone that he was actually a very tall human, became a king, then was discovered and beheaded.
42	Berries and You - Informs the reader on edible and inedible berries found in the wild.
43	"A Tune of Frost and Fire" - a classic that some maintain is historical while others contend is entirely fictional.
44	“How to Spot a Mimic” - Tips such as listen for breathing, and see if it responds to being touched
45	“The Lord of the Rings” A historical fiction-esque set of books about an adventuring party ages ago in a material plane far, far away.
46	“Memoirs of a Goblin” - A dramatic, often erotic, first-person biography of a female goblin groomed to be a concubine in an exotic land. The author is a male elf.
47	“The Banshees I Have Loved” - A tragedy of five acts.
48	“Rosaline And Mercutio” - A romantic tragedy by Bill Shaking-lance.
49	The Common Woman's Guide to Royalty - A guide on how every lady should act in society.
50	Personal Care for Adventurers - Tells adventurers how to maintain a clean, healthy look after weeks in the wilderness.
51	“Flumphs; the Pleasant Surprises of the Underdark” - A journal accounting some time that a researcher spent living with a cloister of flumphs. The author documented at least once every day for a month
52	"In Vestments" - A guide to etiquette regarding the wearing of religious garments.
53	Prince of Reality - A philosophical book that tries to explain the true nature of reality.
54	“Cockatrice Soup for the Soul “ - This book is so commonplace, it's a cliche that in every house where a woman of a certain age lives, there will be at least one heavily-read copy of this book with it's sappy stories and cloyingly sweet words of wisdom. It is beyond worthless.
55	“Planeshifting” - Details different ways to travel between different planes of existence
56	Gary's Guide to Gathering Gold - A story about how some guy named Gary wrote a role-playing game called 'Fiends and Fortresses' and made millions of gold selling thousands of copies.
57	You and Evil - A promotional(?) book from the Nine Hells. Details most of the pros and cons to working for the infernal realm, with useful notes on the "gray zones". May cause surveillance by the temples of good.
58	Merfolk Companions - This book details how Merfolk capture and train seals as pets.
59	“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Kingdom” - A book with not entirely inaccurate advice on “how to see the kingdom on less than 30 copper pieces a day”. The very first page contains only the words “Don’t Panic” printed in large, friendly letters.
60	“The Prophecies” - Tales of great adventures. Partway through, all the pages become blank
61	Avatar: The Last Airbender” - A 3 volume set of books in which a young elemental monk learns to harness his his power so that he may bring peace to a hundreds years war.
62	“The Bjernson Family Tree And Exploits” - The family tree of a nordic clan with all the males named Bjern Bjernson. This book helps tell them apart.
63	“Fifty Shades of Drow” - Part history and part fan fiction starring Lolth.
64	"The Definitive Guide to Owlbear Husbandry" - A thick tome that provides a deep dive into all things related to the care and breeding of Owlbears.
65	“Bahamut Shrugged” - An action-thriller written by one of the world's most controversial philosophers, the novel is set in a dystopia where magic is tightly regulated and only Gon Jalt can liberate magic-users from the non-magical "parasites", i.e. everyone else.
66	“The Wizard of Odds” - Betting for Profit by B.M. Sawbuck
67	Pictures of Cats - A picture book full of photos of cats dressed in cute outfits and doing cute things. It's about the size of an average dictionary.
68	AAARRGGHH!: A Barbarian's Guide to Clobbering Your Enemies - The writing is messy and misspelled, and some of the letters are are backwards. What's more, the cover is splattered with blood on the bottom right corner, like someone was violently clobbered by the book.
69	“The Tao of Water” - Starts with a note: lava and water is basically the same thing! don't try to use fire spells on it. If you fail to understand this basic, the Tao will forever escape you. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
70	“Every. Accomplished. Recognizable. Sentient. by Tommeltop the Gnome” - An encyclopedia of anyone who accomplished anything of moderate note ever, however most of each page is dedicated to greatly exaggerated, suitably cringy and oddly romantic paragraphs about how great each person's ears must have been. Any brave soul who actually reads the book through is suddenly able to recall in perfect detail the ears of anyone they've ever seen before, for no apparent reason. (Perhaps there are drawings and details of the pc's and their ears as well)
71	“Keeper of the Keys” - Whenever a creature reads this book, they slowly fall asleep then “awaken” inside the book (their body remains in the real world). Living inside of the book is a half-man, half-dog extraplanar being who owns a copy of every key in existence, and whose only entertainment is reading books, but several of the books available for him to read are unfinished close to their ending. The party can enter the incomplete books to finish their stories (incomplete books could be a story of a great battle, a story where an assassin must be chased down, or something similar), and should they finish all of the stories given to them to complete, the Keeper of the Keys shall give them a key. Should they die inside of a book, a person will simply be ejected from it, rather than die outright.
72	“Lost in Translation” - The Art of the Scribe by Thoth Gardiner
73	“A Day in the Life of a Lemure” - A beginner demon/devil researcher decided to start his studies on the weakest of all fiend kind, the lemure. After summoning a lemure in a remote location, he watched its behavior for a day. After gathering the information needed, the author had the hideous abomination placed within a special containment vessel, alongside the many empty ones that would house the many other fiends. At the end of the book lies a map to the research facility. If the party decides to go there, they will find out that the author finished doing research on an imp, manes, and dretch as well.
74	Fiends and Fortresses - Fortress Master's Guide - A book on how to lead players through a story and gameplay in the popular role-playing game “Fiends and Fortresses”
75	“The Tao of Fire” - Starts with a strict warning to master at least one of the other 3 elemental books first, because while many people think playing with fire is fun, it's not worth dying over. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
76	"A Random Walk Down Market Street" - A book that theorizes price fluctuations of goods at the local market are entirely unpredictable in the short term.
77	“Half Human, Half Horse, All Man” - A defense of carnal relationships with beast races
78	Names to Run Away From - A collection of monsters, plant, fungus, magical phenomenon and other miscellaneous "things" that even the most accomplished - or desperate- of adventurers avoid - for they are easy to kill, but they are also a mighty pain in the behind and, even more importantly, in your wallet.
79	“The Tao of Air” - Starts with philosophical musings on how a fickle thing like air is needed for (long-lived) living creatures to breathe. There is a 5% chance of an ancient erotic letter being found loose inside. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
80	Becoming a Paladin: A full guide to becoming the lawful good person you always hoped to be! - This thick volume even includes how to protect orphanages and the correct means of smiting your enemies.
81	“Physiologies of Magical Creatures” - Information on the biology of Beholders, Dragons, Unicorns, and more. Full of diagrams.
82	“Phylomagenetics and the Herbalist” - A primer for the professional and newcomer alike.
83	Gnome means Gnome - A beginner's guide to understanding the differences between the shorter races of the realm.
84	"Smuggler's Cookbook" - instructions on how to conceal goods and evade authorities.
85	The Orc's Cookbook: 101 ways to prepare an elf - To make the hunt taste delicious
86	“Wish It, Want It, Screw It” - detailed accounts of times the Wish spell backfired horribly.
87	“Taming the Beast” - A perfect book for beginner beastmasters. Gives tips and tricks on how to win over wild creatures of all kinds. It starts with tiny creatures like frogs and crabs, followed by small creatures like eagles and fire beetles, medium creatures like giant badgers and giant frogs, large creatures like owlbears and bulettes, and finishes with huge creatures like elephants and some dinosaurs.
88	“My Life as a Human Being” - A Dragon's Observation on Humanoid Culture
89	Tic-Tic-Twang - A detailed guide for creating clockworks, golems, animated items, and traps, rather easily. Restricted in most kingdoms, as its too valuable to outright ban and destroy its knowledge, despite the widespread collateral damage after its first releases. The bounty for the authors is still valid.
90	“Fitting a Square Peg Through a Round Hole: The curious mobility of oozes”
91	Lolthlita
92	Fiends and Fortresses - Player's Handbook - A book on how the play the popular role-playing game “Fiends and Fortresses”, where players roll dice to fight fantastical creatures and adventure through fortresses while someone designated a “Fortress Master” tells a story.
93	“Wager like a Winner” - A Goblins Guide to Gambling by Grey ‘Greedy’ Gradnok
94	Guinness' Book of world records- A book crafted over a lifetime by an adventurer named Guinness. It contains accomplishments such as "Worlds largest dragon" "Longest time spent in a beholders lair", "Fattest goblinoid" And "Most monstrosities slain in a day
95	“The Tao of Earth” - Starts with philosophical musings about the importance of creation and stability over destruction and change. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
96	"Poop" - an entertaining children's book about something we all do.
97	Being Familiar With Your Familiar: The book for casters who wish to bond with their animal companions - A field guide to all common and some uncommonly seen familiars in the area.
98	“Population Dynamics of Cryptosaurs” - A treatise on the ever-evolving age structures of dragons by region and plane.
99	“Magic for Dummies” - Explains what magic is and how it works in the style of “___ for Dummies” books. Does not teach one how to cast spells.
100	The Summoning of Dragons - A Celestial's guide to the methods and dangers of calling on the great reptiles.
101	"Ego and Prejudice" - a romantic tale.
102	New Technology: Summer Special Edition - This information source gives details on many new forms of technology, such as reinforced crossbows, iron hunting traps, and many, many magic items.
103	Backstage - Detailing the more mundane dangers of the adventuring life, like insufficient supplies, inappropriate gear, public reactions, illnesses and the common lack of money - with tips and advices how to prevent them (the second edition have humorous footnotes from the author).
104	untitled book - this book contains no text, and has a small hole cut into the pages which contains something of value (coins, a key, etc.)
105	Forever and Always - The future predictions of a historian who lived two centuries ago. His predictions continue on for another four hundred years.
106	“Bordrick’s Fantastic Adventure” - Dwarven choose your own adventure book
107	“Forging for Dummies” - A book on how to forge weapons and tools, written by a dwarf as a gift to his human pupil.
108	“So You Want to be a .....series” - Illustrated beginner guides to becoming a Wizard, Druid, Ranger etc for children.
109	"Warfare and Harmony" - seems quite long but it comes highly recommended.
110	Sparing? - An orc bandit slowly goes from blood raging pillager to being a member of society. A heartwarming tale of death, destruction, and love.
111	“The Origin of Magical Species” - Full title: On the Origin of Magical Species by Means of Supernatural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life, is considered to be the foundation of understanding of how magic has shaped the evolution of the natural world. Although the theories presented inside are accepted as fact by nearly all universities and centers of learning, some religions regard it as heretical and have asked to have it banned.
112	"Mushrooms and Society" - a delightful volume that explores the unexpected influence mushrooms have had on society.
113	Claiming the Crown” - An Experienced Guide to Assassinating Royals - How to brew a poison, how to create a disguise, tips on wielding daggers, and more!
114	“101 Ways to Cook an Ooze” - Interesting recipes include gelatinous cube cocktail, ochre apple jelly, and salted pudding
115	“The Art of Procrastination and How to Perfect it” - A book filled with scribbles. It is only halfway finished
116	The Three Little Goblins - Three goblins set off to build houses of wood, straw, and enchanted brick and start new lives, but the Big Bad Dire Wolf complicates things.
117	"The Halfling" - tells the tale of the quests of an adventurous halfling.
118	The Witch's Guide to Home brew Potions - A series of tips on how to be the most successful witch you can be
119	“To Kill a Manticore” - There isn't a single manticore in the entire book, it's about a half-orc on trial for a crime he didn't commit and the halfling lawyer who represents him.
120	“The Dragon with a Girl Tattoo” - A psychological mystery thriller about a detective who befriends a shapeshifted silver dragon with a dark past, to find a murderer before he strikes again.

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Link to the Wiki page, with additional links to Clan information and background Lore.
First I Previous
Chapter 4: Keep Your Friends Close And Your Enemies Closer
“... to hell with the Oivu.”
Genvass winced as Commandant Zakiyya of the Valkyries glared at the others, daring them to disagree as the clan leaders quarreled over his report. He’d known the merchant’s ultimatum wouldn’t go over well, but the reality was turning out far worse than he’d imagined.
“It’s not that simple, Gerel,” Grand Master Makar, representing the Knights, disagreed patiently. “This threat is the last thing we need right now. They were absolutely correct in just how much aid they provided to our refugee centers… are still providing, even now. Without that food and supplies, people will start dying. It’s bad enough I had to pull our clan out of those camps because of Exodus, but we intend to return when the situation is more settled.”
“I don’t mean to sound callous, but how is that our problem?” Sibyl KriZ/AliZ said from their monitor, casually blowing a smoke ring from their hookah. “I get you that want to help, Osman, and that’s laudable, but if the Oivu are going to hold this over our heads, then let them deal with the fallout.”
“And what about the Alliance?” Admiral Van Aalst said quietly. “We’ve built up a great deal of goodwill, but if we just fort up here on New Terra and let the galaxy fall apart, you can kiss that goodbye. I think the Ixians might stick with us, a few others, maybe, but the rest?” He shook his head. “The next time we see them, it’ll be across a missile broadside.”
“Give me two years… three, at the most… and I’ll hand you a fleet of ships so advanced they won’t dare cross swords with us,” Diplom-Ingenieur Svéd of the Tinkers interjected. “We’re working around the clock to master this technology, but given enough time…”
“No offense, Kalina, but I find your timetable to be overly optimistic,” Dàifu Khatsakhox interjected, holding up a tablet. “I’ve been going over the survey reports, and they all say the same thing. We’re learning more every day, that is true, but we’re barely scratching the surface. “It will probably be decades before we can build the fleet you’re proposing. Perhaps, even centuries.”
“If we could get back to the business at hand?” the Grand Master said impatiently. “I desperately need to get my Knights back into the field. The humanitarian crisis we’ve been dealing with didn’t suddenly go away, just because the Yīqún did. How soon, before we can arrange transport?”
“If they leave the protection that Athena provides, I’m afraid I can’t promise their safety,” the Corsair Admiral informed them. “The truth is, we’re still licking our wounds from that last battle. Given our current resources; if you leave New Terra, you’re painting a target on your back.”
“Then we need to seriously reevaluate our policies regarding the other Perseus Arm species,” Commandant Zakiyya growled. “After everything we’ve done for them, breaking the Troika and eliminating the Yīqún, and yet this is how they want to treat us? I believe we’ve earned at least a modicum of respect, and it’s well past time they started showing it.”
“I’m unsurprised by this sudden pivot from the Oivu,” Sibyl KriZ/AliZ revealed. “I never believed for an instant their unexpected generosity during the Yīqún Crisis to be anything other than a ploy for leverage, and frankly, neither should have any of you. A leopard doesn’t change its spots, and neither do avaricious alien merchants. As Gerel so colorfully put it… to hell with them.”
The argument continued, growing increasingly heated as Genvass silently rose from his seat and slipped out of the chamber unnoticed, searching for a quiet place to think. They were supposed to be building something here, but instead, it was the same old arguments, the same clan divisions all over again. Hadn’t they learned anything from the Clan Wars?
Apparently not, he thought sourly. The plan had been to pull together now that they had a permanent home, but that future was getting harder to envision every day. A rough draft for the new government was scheduled to be published weeks ago, but recent updates now stated it was “undergoing revision”. From what he’d just witnessed, he was starting to doubt it had ever gotten off the drawing board. The “Provisional government” was little more than the old clan heads fighting the same old battles. Humanity had unified and fought as one at the end of the war, so why couldn’t they do the same with the peace that followed?
He looked up in surprise when someone sat beside him, as the Dàifu managed a chagrined expression. “They called for a recess,” she explained, “to let folks cool off.”
“Are they always like that?” Genvass asked quietly, avoiding her gaze.
“Most of them, yes,” his clan leader admitted.
“No wonder the new Constitution is still stuck in committee,” he said bitterly.
“We’re doing the best we can,” she said in gentle reproof.
Genvass lifted his head, looking at her. “The most damning thing about that statement is that I believe you.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Convinced you could do better?” the Dàifu snorted.
“I could hardly do worse,” he fired back. “Now more than ever, we need our leaders to put aside their differences and think about what’s best for our people, all our people. But that? That was Lord of the Flies.” He shook his head in disgust.
“Welcome to what it means to be Terran,” she sighed, settling into her chair. “In the space of a heartbeat, the universe changed all around us. Everything we’d hoped and prayed for these last two centuries came true, and it’s going to take us some time to adjust.”
“Time is the one thing I’m almost certain we don’t have,” he said darkly, “if my meeting with the Oivu was any sign. This is just the tip of the comet.”
“I see,” she said primly, folding her hands. “Should I then expect to find your resignation on my desk tomorrow morning?”
“I won’t lie. I’m considering it,” he answered. “What happens if I do?”
“I’ll have to appoint another ambassador,” she shrugged.
Genvass nodded as she confirmed his suspicions. “Anyone I know?”
“I suspect you’ve at least heard one or two of the names on my list,” she said offhand.
“In other words, no,” he grimaced.
The Dàifu placed her hand on his. “You were my first choice for a reason, Genvass. You weren’t always; when I nominated you for the mission to Earth, I didn’t hold out much hope for its success. I thought perhaps a linguist might come in handy, but being completely honest? Part of the reason I selected you was that you were expendable.”
His jaw clenched hard at her admission. “I’ve suspected that was the reason for some time now. Nice to have it confirmed.”
If she took umbrage at the sudden chill in the air, she gave no sign of it. “I’m a clan leader, Genvass,” she reminded him, “which means occasionally I am forced to do things many would find unpalatable. It’s my job to think the unthinkable and assume the worst, and it is a responsibility that I do not take lightly. Because we’re all expendable. Every one of us, if the stakes are high enough… and deep down, even you know that to be true.”
His grunt at that statement was decidedly noncommittal. “However,” she continued, “the man who returned from that mission differed greatly from the one I sent. You found a sense of purpose during your journey, a cause to believe in, and even to fight for. I know we clashed repeatedly when you started your crusade, because you were upsetting the apple cart. But even then, I knew your tirades against our dependence on alien goodwill were likely to prove prophetic.”
Genvass stared at her, dumbstruck. “Then why?” he demanded. “If you knew our clan was on the wrong path, why did you defend it so fiercely?”
There was a chuckle, both sardonic and short-lived. “Because our people needed me to,” she explained. “The whole reason our clan exists is because the ones who choose this life craved one thing above all else. Stability. Something few Terrans have experienced these past two hundred years. Constantly living in fear, wondering from one day to the next if the air was going to suddenly be sucked away, or if they’d be facing an attack from the Troika… Genvass, if you had another choice, wouldn’t you take it?”
“I did take it, as you well know,” he reminded her, “or at least, my father did. Growing up, I always believed he made the right choice. It wasn’t until the mission that I realized just how much that stance was costing us.”
“A realization I had myself, long before I was elevated to Dàifu,” she informed him, as he stared in shock. “Don’t look so surprised. One doesn’t last long in this job if you are unwilling to face the truth without flinching.”
“Then I must ask ‘why’ once more,” he said after a moment. “Why would you accept command of a ship whose engines are about to fail, and whose hull can no longer hold an atmosphere?”
“What other choice could I give them?” she asked frankly. “We may have lost a handful each year to the other clans, but the vast majority preferred taking their chances with us. Why, you ask? Because quite simply, we offered the illusion of safety. And it was an illusion, as you yourself eventually realized. We talked about the benefits of living planetside as our ancestors did, breathing free air and having full bellies. What we didn’t discuss is what happened when a host world decided they no longer desired our presence, something that occurred far more frequently than we acknowledged. Or how often one of our own ran afoul of the local government for some real or perceived fault, disappearing into their justice system, never to be seen again. And yet despite all of that, most still clung to the illusion that we provided, anything to avoid facing the harsh reality of their wretched existence.”
“So, you continued to promote the lie instead of admitting the truth,” he said bitterly. “And what… prayed for a miracle? Something to absolve you of your responsibility?”
“Spare me the tragic martyr routine, you don’t do it very well,” the Dàifu sneered. “I played the best hand I could with the cards the universe dealt me. That’s all any of us could do. If you asked the other clan leaders, assuming they were being honest, they would all tell you the same thing. Jibril especially, poor bastard.” She shook her head sadly. “He inherited the worst of all worlds, but his mistake was believing that his masters actually gave a damn about the Protean clan. He was a useful tool, nothing more, and when he tried to be something more than that, he paid the price for his hubris.” The older woman sighed. “Besides, don’t kid yourself. Name one Terran in the last two centuries who didn’t pray for a miracle. Including you.”
He had no response for that, fixing his gaze instead at the floor beneath his feet. The two sat in silence for several minutes as he wrestled with this paradigm shift. Finally, she asked, “... do I need to appoint a new ambassador?”
There was a long, heavy sigh before finally turned to her. “No,” he said at last, “I’ll stick with the job. If my meeting with the Oivu taught me anything, it’s that our relationships with the other races are more important now than they ever were.”
“I’m pleased to hear it,” she smiled. “So, what’s your next move?”
“The Alliance,” he said immediately. “As long as we can maintain that rapport, we have a decent chance of weathering whatever storm is coming. If we lose it, however, then the situation looks very bleak indeed.”
“I concur,” she nodded.
He nodded in agreement. “Looks like I need to contact Captain Haddad for another charter,” he said in resignation, rising to his feet.
The Dàifu reached out and touched his arm, bringing him to a halt. “I believe we need to consider a more permanent arrangement,” she said candidly. “Even if you decide at some point to resign your post, it has become quite clear to me that New Terra requires an established ambassadorial position going forward. We are no longer just a mere handful of clans, each going their own way.” She paused and then grimaced. “Despite all appearances to the contrary.”
“What are you suggesting?” he asked her.
“That if you are going to be taken seriously by the galaxy at large, then you require the trappings that such an august office demands,” she informed him. “A permanent staff, a suite of offices, and a ship specifically dedicated for the post to start.”
“Post? What post?” he sputtered.
“Why, the New Terran Diplomatic Corps, of course,” she chortled. “If we’re going to do this, then it will be done properly. When you enter a room, I expect the conversation to come to a grinding halt.”
“It usually did,” he shrugged, “at least around non-humans.”
“Not like that,” she spat out. “An ambassador requires respect to function, above all else, and it’s up to me to see that you get it. No more ‘Move along, you filthy Terran, move along’.” She sighed, leaning close in. “Besides… I’ve had my suspicions regarding the good captain for some time now. I don’t think he’s the proper candidate to ferry you about.”
“Who then?”
“I’ll find someone, don’t you worry,” she assured him. “Eventually we’ll require an entire department, but for now a few advisors and a ship will do. Oh, and a security detail,” she amended.
“A security detail?” he said in confusion. “Why would I need that? Who would take a shot at me?”
The Dàifu just shook her head. “If you’re doing your job right?”
“… Everyone.”
First I Previous

TW: child sexual assault
I don’t know the purpose of me writing this other than to scream into the void. I feel silenced and want someone to finally hear me. I attended a daycare from birth until 5 years old that was located in a woman’s home. The lady that ran the daycare was my mom’s babysitter when she was a baby, so she was very fond of my sister and I due to that connection. Or so I thought. I will call her B. B had multiple children, but the one of importance to this story I will refer to as D. D was B’s son and was in his late teens. D was a fucking pedophile. Over time he groomed me, would take me up to his room during nap time when I should have been sleeping. I thought this was so cool, who wouldn’t rather watch Goosebumps than take a nap when you’re that age?? (Now I’m like wtf, I need my daily nap). I will keep it brief, but things progressed over time and blatant assault occurred. I immediately felt like I was going to throw up and I ran to tell B. B acted like she couldn’t hear me, and I felt confused. When my mom picked me up that day, B got ahead of the situation by saying “something happened but she’s overreacting, D was just tickling her. I promise.” My mother chose to believe B over her own daughter. Probably because it was easier. I felt helpless and started to second guess everything. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I asked for it. Maybe I deserved it. I tucked it away in a deep dark room in my brain. Until a couple of months ago when I got a call from my mother. She said that the police department called and they were doing an investigation into my old daycare. I immediately burst into tears, because I knew what it was about and I suddenly felt a deep sense of validation I had never had before. All the feelings came up. I was supposed to call the next day to talk about my experience, and I did. I was in tears the whole time, but I did it. The police then said that D was charged and convicted of an identical crime back then, so 20ish years ago. B was given the option to tell all of the families or close the daycare, and she chose the latter. The police didn’t bother to ask any other children at the daycare if they had experienced anything similar. Go fucking figure. They thanked me for my testimony and said they would be updating me. Earlier this week I received a letter saying that they will not be prosecuting D, because they can’t prove “beyond a reasonable doubt” that my abuse happened. What do you do with a letter like that? I hung it on my fridge. Maybe I’ll get a cute frame for it. Maybe I’ll tuck it away in that deep dark room inside of my brain. I am hurt. I am pissed at D for hurting all of these kids and being able to live a totally free and happy life. Pissed at B for enabling and protecting her pedophile son instead of literal children. Pissed at my mom for not fucking believing me. I was failed at so many points along the way, and I’m hurt. Yes, I am in therapy and things will get better. But right now it sucks. If you’ve read this far, thanks for providing the void for me to scream my words into.

Fort wayne fire department locations

Pokemon Go Fort Wayne

“GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY COMPUTER!”