I'm having a very difficult time in life. There's a lot of things with work and health problems in my family that feel like it's too much. My positive symptoms are gone but I have severe difficulty operating with the level of stress I'm under, but I think a person without the illness would feel the same. My therapist has told me that anyone would have a hard time dealing with the stress I'm under.
I'm not sure what to say. I've made a considerable amount of progress since my initial psychosis but there's this genuine numbness and apathy I feel towards everything. It all seems sort of pointless at this point. I always carried this narrative that I would succeed despite this illness, and I think I have to the degree that I am capable of. Yet this shit still eats away at any sense of fulfillment I can feel.
I don't know exactly what it is I want anymore. I've checked off most the boxes I thought would fill this void. I mean, I still need to exercise and fix my health and get a girlfriend. But I'm currently talking this girl and I don't know how I'm going to bring up my illness. If you see me from the exterior, I'm a normal guy doing good in life, but lately I just want to implode. The worst part is I can't pinpoint exactly why. It just seems like this aching feeling of how everything is so pointless. I know it will pass but right now it seems so difficult. There's a considerable amount to be grateful for but it seems like something I can't feel right now.

Hi!
I've recently met a really great new potential play partner and we are in the process of testing the waters and chemistry over a few early dates and sessions. Loads in common, good chemistry, broadly like the same mixture of dynamics.
One thing that gives her great pleasure is service, in particular domestic service and cock / cum worship. The latter is in my wheelhouse, but the former I've not had much experience with. I'm a big caregiver and often take a daddy role, buut vanilla me is also a very fussing and overbearing pleaser.
I love being looked after and served, but I'm not in the practice either in a dynamic or outside tbh. I really want to explore this as just the few things so far have been incredible - taking my shoes off at the door, massaging my feet, cooking incredible meals, making my morning coffee.
Can anyone give some examples either from the top or bottom of some ideas for service tasks etc I can give to help us both explore this space? She is very domestically oriented - loves cooking, cleaning and care. I like this and I alsomlike thugs like being washed d down in the shower, massage and being touched / stroked.
Thanks so much - want to grab a rare opportunity to feel looked after whilst still topping with both hands 😂

This was my second year playing FPL, I had a goal of finishing top 250k, I ended up burning a transfer and missing 2 deadlines in GW36 & 37… I’ll blame NHL playoffs which I’m a big fan of haha. But I’m pleased to say I ended up finishing 189,859 this year which I think is pretty good! At least for me.
I’ve been trying to analyze my performance and see what I could do differently to improve next year. I find it interesting to see that over the whole season I had 20 Green Arrows and 17 Red Arrows! My best Gameweek Rank was 21k in GW27, my worst was nearly 11m in GW35 🙈 haha.
I’m curious if anyone would mind sharing your overall rank, your total green and red arrows, as well as your best and worst gameweek rank?

First / Previous / Next
Ava bows dramatically, "Of course, Empress. Anything else while I'm over there? People are starting to worry about you, so I fear that they might just leave you."
I blink. Leave me? Abandon me here and go?
You're Empress now. They fear your power and what you will do. Some people there also fear you giving them orders.
But, it's not like I'd give them a bad order, or something I wouldn't do myself.
Despite what Ava - pardon us - Builder Ava says, a majority of people do not like to be ordered around.
Hmm. This is becoming more than I thought it would be very quickly. If they leave, then there goes our best ship and best way to traverse the gates. Coming in, it didn't look like the ships docked here were moving anytime soon and Ottarn's ship is proving that. We need ships.
"Ava. I have an idea. When you go back to FarReach and see if anyone else - human or K'laxi - is willing to come with you. Don't tell them we want to make them builders, but don't like, deny it either. We're going to need more help here than just the two of us." I see her face fall a little, uh oh. "But uh, you're still the first, and you're still my right hand, you'll hold a special place." That perks her up a little bit.
"We need a ship. I'm worried that FarReach might leave. See if you can get a duplicate of FarReach's printer database. She should have plans in it to make just about anything we need, up to and including a wormhole generator and Stardrive."
Ava gasps. "we're going to make our own ship? But, we don't know any AIs."
I nod. "We will have Builders though. If they can become starbases, I bet they can become starships. Plus, Venus doesn't use them, so I know it's possible."
At the mention of Venus, Ava raises her eyebrows. "You're not thinking of reaching out to Venus are you?"
I try and make a noncommittal gesture. "Well, they are the official government in the inner Sol system. And they are experts in doing things without AI help."
Ava is firm. "They're assholes Melody. They treat everyone not from Venus with no respect. They don't even think AIs are people."
Ugh, she's right. We can't reach out and contact Venus. If we did, we'd be seen by everyone else in human space as throwing our lot in with them.
Okay, we'll do it on our own. People over here have been in space for a long time, they know how to make starships.
Yes, but why are their engines so weak? Why did they never learn how to use a wormhole generator? They're ossified. They have no flexibility.
Well then, it's time for us to do some stretching exercises and see if we can get some flexibility back in place over here.
"Ava thank you, you're right. No Venus. We'll do it on our own." Ava beams at the compliment. "They must have a printer here. So we'll see if FarReach will let us duplicate their database and we'll build our own ship. We'll start small, a Frigate or something, no need to go nuts and make a Starjumper or Dreadnought right off the bat."
Ava smiles. "Wonderful. I think that's the right plan. I'll head over to FarReach, get your coffee, see if anyone else wants to join us and grab a copy of the database. Back in a few!" She reaches up and kisses me on the cheek before she leaves. My hand reaches up to touch the spot as I watch her leave. What was that?
She understands what it means to be the right hand to an Empress.
What it means to be an Empress? I look around the throne at all the empty seats in the gallery, the empty floor far below me, the wall blocking me off from the rest of the Reach. This will not do. If I am to really be Empress, I cannot rule from the rear. Where nobody sees me. I need to be... visible.
I stare at the huge, closed off opening to the Throne, and the paltry doorway I made just an hour ago. That won't do. Nobody can see me, can worship me from such a tiny door. I concentrate and think how it's supposed to look.
Grey fog boils and flows across the floor from behind me and down the stairs, flowing towards the wall. Making a change this large is tiring, but on the Throne I feel like anything is possible. More and more fog appears and climbs the wall at the far end of the room, and starting from the top, the wall starts to disappear. Working on a atomic level, the Nanites are disassembling the wall, turning some of the matter into more Nanites, and the rest becoming dust.
About halfway through the opening of the wall, I can hear a commotion outside. It's probably surprise at such a large wall being taken down without any heavy machinery. I guess it could also be people worried about the blast of fresh air and the improved environmental settings I just activated. I hope the vendors in front of the wall are able to move out of the way without being injured. I have already decided that if they lose any equipment I'll reimburse them personally. Nobody should be punished for me making sure that I am more visible.
Nobody who doesn't deserve it, at least.
I mentally roll my eyes as I can feel the Nanites nodding sagely.
As the wall comes down, I begin to see it. A crowd has formed outside the wall, and... yes I can hear the same singing I heard the first time. This must be The Smell of Soil after Rain's work.
The wall fades entirely, and I'm able to look down the Promenade of the Starbase. It really is an excellent view. I'm able to look all the way down to the administrative offices and over to the docks. As people come streaming in, they're still singing. I raise the lights in the Throne brighter and illuminate everything just to the point of being painful. They're not the only ones who can put on a show.
Rain's congregation barely fills out the entrance, let alone the lower galleries, but as they come in, more people from around the Starbase follow.
Everyone likes a show.
I decide to play it up. I've heard it enough that I know the basic beats of the song. As it reaches its crescendo, I stand and spread my wings wide.
The crowd erupts.
"People of Reach of the Might of Vzzx! After too long, your Builder, your Empress has returned! I am Empress Melody Mullen the First and I am here to help you become who you are meant to be. Who we are meant to be. No more will we cower in our starbase in our single system. We were an empire once, and will be again!"
They're chanting my name now. I have to admit, this is pretty great. I cast my gaze down and see Rain watching the speech. I wonder how I'm able to pick out individual people in the crowd so easily now?
"The Smell of Soil After Rain! Approach me!"
Bounding up the stairs, Rain is practically floating. They are rapturous. As they near me, they get down on their knees and bows, their head touching the floor.
Everyone in the crowd behind them follows.
"Rise."
He stands, practically vibrating with anticipation. There must be come kind of tech in the room. I don't need to shout, but the sound still has a nice, regal echo about it. "The Smell of Soil After Rain. You were the first. The first to recognize what I was, the first to see me for what I truly am. For that, you shall be rewarded." I reach a hand out and touch their shoulder. The crowd gasps as the white vestments turn royal blue.
"You are now Bishop for Reach of the Might of Vzzx. You will be the head of all the congregations here and you shall be responsible for making sure that I am worshipped correctly. Your first act is to call all the congregations here. We shall meet tomorrow to begin my reign properly. I will declare a celebration and will hear the pleas of my people. Let them know that should they so desire, they may petition me."
He turns and faces the crowd. I incline my head gently towards him, and in response, the crowd kneels to him. Clearly, his head is swimming. "Rise my flock!" He says to the gathered crowds. "The Empress has given us an order. Come, let us go spread the word so that tomorrow we can finally have our prayers answered."
Cheers and more singing. erupts from the crowd. In the time it took me to give my little speech and elevate Rain, the crowd doubled in size.
Rain turns back to me, and I lean in close to them and whisper. "Prove to me you're worthy of this elevation. Do not fail."
Their head jerks back, and their feathers ripple in surprise. Eyes wide, they nod, and swallow. I have taken all their joy of the elevation and turned it to fear.
Like I said, Great Empresses are feared and loved in equal measure.
I gently send him down the stairs, and before he reaches the bottom, his congregation picks him up and carries him on their shoulders out of the room. Presentation over, the crowd begins to leave.
I stand up. You wouldn't know it from looking at it but the Throne is surprisingly comfortable. Still, I was sitting quite a while. Ava hasn't returned either, so I don't really know what to do. I guess I should head back to FarReach and see what's going on.
I don't particularly want to be mobbed while I make it back to the dock, so I turn the crown and wings off. Huh, I am getting better at affecting the world around me.
I walk down the side of the stairs so it's not completely obvious, and I leave the throne room and walk towards FarReach. As I go, I hear Rain's congregation rush around, spreading the word. Some people are amused and tolerant, some tell them to leave and stop bothering them, and others are surprised and excited.
As I approach the dock, I see Ava. She's running towards me with a worried look on her face. Behind her, Omar and Um'reli are following behind looking confused and worried as well.
And she has my rifle on her back.
Ava sees me and waves "Melody! There's a problem!" I rush up to them. "What's wrong Ava? Hello Omar and Um'reli, why are you here?"
"That's just it Melody. FarReach declared Captain Q'ari unfit. She has assumed command of the mission and has stated that they're going home! She's disconnected from the umbilical and left!
What.
"What? Unfit? How come?"
Omar answers this time. "So, have you noticed how whenever anyone is around you, they are awfully chill about how you're now a God Empress who can not be disobeyed if you use your new creepy voice?"
My face said it all apparently. No, I hadn't noticed.
Omar nods. "Well, yes, that's what happens. You are giving off some kind of 'don't worry about it' field when around folks, and when you leave, it wears off. Captain Q'ari didn't... take it well. Dr Irenieum locked her in her quarters. Mei'la and Fer'resi also were pushing for us to leave."
"With me?"
Omar gives me a look. "That was not considered. Everyone figured you wouldn't leave. Ava showed up and said she's a Builder now too, and asked all of us if any of us wanted to stay with you and her to help rebuild the empire. She also grabbed your coffee stuff-" Ava holds up a bag, and smiles "-and said you asked for a copy of the printer database?"
"That's right. We're going to need our own starship. The ones that are here aren't very good, given that Mariens - Ottarn - who is trying to run in one that is practically leaving at a walking pace. I wanted a copy of the printer database so we could make our own Starships."
I look at them again. "So, if you're here then... you're in?"
Omar shrugs. "I didn't have anything going for me back home. Spouse died a few years back, we never had kids, I re-enlisted just for something to keep my mind off things. Staying out here is something new and different at least. I've never been this close to a God Empress before. Also, when Ava said you wanted a copy of the printer database I figured you'd need an operator. I bet you can't run a printer and I don't know how well anyone here would do."
I walk over and give him a hug "Oh Omar. You're welcome with us. Always." I kiss him on the lips and he jumps back. "Woah Melody! you're nice and all, but I'm not into most women like that."
I lean back in shock. "Oh no, no, I'm sorry Omar, that's the easiest way I can give people Nanites to make them a builder. I apologize! I should have asked first! I'm so embarrassed."
"It's okay Melody, but next time warn a person."
I look over at Um'reli "What about you? Why do you want to stay? I thought a bunch of K'laxi feared me because of that old religion."
She scoffs. "Not all of us Melody. I'm an atheist, always have been. Most of my familial group is. Ava explained what was going on, and how you had said you didn't want just humans to be Builders-" I glanced over at Ava and she winked "-and thought that you were right. There was no reason that we had to sit by and be a client species if we were being offered a partnership." Um'reli looked at me carefully. "It is a partnership, right?"
I nodded. "Yes, of course. I can't do it on my own, and the K'laxi have been our friends for centuries. I'm not about to say that you are our friends but now you're a client group too. I'm the Empress, but you can be a Builder as well."
Um'reli smiles. "Thanks Melody. So... kissing?"
"Just a quick peck. The Nanites say it's the fastest way to give you some. If you don't want to, we can find out if there's a different way."
"No, no, it's it's fine..." Her fur ripples a blush. "Are you sure Ava won't be jealous?" Um'reli laughs.
I laugh too, but Ava just chuckles politely. I look over and Holy shit, she is jealous. I pretend I didn't notice and bend down and give Um'reli a peck on the mouth.
"Okay, it'll take about a day for the Nanites to grow and reproduce until you have enough to be able to do stuff like me. The language processing comes fastest though, that one should be working at least a little bit in a few hours."
Ava comes forward and hands me my rifle. "I know you didn't ask for it, but... I know how much it means to you."
I can't believe she thought of me enough to bring me this. It's so thoughtful.
"Thank you Ava, it's incredibly thoughtful of you to do that." I go in for a hug, and she turns my face and gives me a kiss too. I shrug mentally and kiss her back.
After, I lean back and ask "How did you get this?"
"Oh While Omar and Um'reli were getting their things I was waiting by the airlock and realized that you still had your rifle in the locker. I touched the panel and it popped open! I grabbed it and then Omar and Um'reli appeared and we left quickly."
I was shocked. Nobody should be able to open those lockers.
Builders can. She probably just thought really hard about being able to please you.
I look at my new team. It's just the four of us, but I'm hopeful that we can do great things.
Omar looks around the dock and then back at me. "So, uh Melody, where do we sleep?"
Shit.
First / Previous / Next

Halloha, my name's Gianluca. Nice to meet you!- is what I would say in a formal setting.
But hence you found me in my area of comfort, welcome to my humble abode. Would you like some tea? Maybe you fancy some Earl Grey.
Anyway anyway I'm starting to babble lol, if you're wondering what I'm here for, it's for talking to you, interesting person out there wherever may you be. Meeting new people and all it brings is something I love. Making friends this way is amazing so therefore I presented myself!
If details are something you're into hearing, i can give you lots:
-I have to refuel every day almost cuz I go through an entire tank in 2 days or less. Love driving around. (Had to get new shoes and take up running to reduce expenses)
-I'm a car mechanic, also a construction worker, carpenter and if patience blesses me on that day; a painter.
-What am I saving up for? Well it's big, pretty massive in fact. So massive i could write an entire letter about it... Huh... Would it be cheeky if I said you can ask about this in your message? Would be a good idea.
-Had to start running everywhere for transport which is fun, I also do cycling, practice jumps and tricks at the bike park and do motorcycle and karting races. (Other categories and car racing are a work in progress, will upgrade soon)
-Music taste: this is the part where you look at a bunch of hyperbabble about bands that don't make a lot of sense unless you heard them, but I'll just throw a buncha names and you can see if any of the following applies: Radiohead, Megadeth, Fishmans, Marillion, The Black Keys, Queens of The Stone Age, Buckethead, Alphaville, Dire Straits, Little River Band, David Bowie, XTC, UB40, Commodores, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Cure.
-Ultramegahyper car and motorcycles fan, but in the weirdest way possible. My dream cars are actually cheap french hot hatches like the 306 and a 90's Renault Clio. The car I'd get first no matter what is a 1998 Ford Focus. If possible the RS version. And as for motorcycles I want a Kawasaki ZXR, 80's style. Also love German cars, especially old BMW's, first one I'd get is an e32 with the M70 V12 engine. Also love old Volkswagens and Audis, without a doubt would own an 80's Audi with one of their 5 cylinder engines and turbocharge it. Also very fond of japanese cars and will own a Nissan in any form possible, especially the 350z
-Played almost every Need For Speed game that ever released, started my journey with the franchise through Underground, and played every release as they launched. (yes even Undercover, I actually enjoyed it). I listen to the soundtracks of old NFS games in my free time. Also played Midnight Club, Forza, Assetto Corsa, FlatOut, Burnout, BeamNG... I COULD KEEP GOING.
-Not everything in my life is about cars though, my day is dedicated to music too, especially playing piano. I'm also a guitar and bass player. And really want to get more sound gear and instruments in the future (Cars and music gear? I'll be broke all the time)
-I'm relatively organized, but living by myself has shown me that being the only person inside the house, I leave stuff around unless somebody visits. But while living with my parents I didn't make any mess anywhere so I'm not an absolute demon.
-Yes, living by myself also requires me to cook and I'm actually an amazing cook. I include lots of seasoning and veggies into the meals, even soy to balance things out and eggs for protein. Learned lots while being independent.
-Fun facts about me to end this: The amount of clothes I have in total is so small that i can wash them all in one washing machine load, the house machine size. I also have 3 different pillows around me at all times cuz I don't like laying on a flat surface. I listen to music even while showering. And I own a dog that requires me to feed her on a daily basis even though I beg her to feed off the sun.
Anyways that's about it from me! Hope you enjoyed this lil introduction that is the size of the Twilight prologue, but way better.

I've noticed this now and then when having disagreements online. Where I express an opinion that someone doesn't like and they come out with this rant about "my people", "my camp", or various things they assume I believe and are mad about. The conversation gets weird where they try to make me culpable for the sins of a completely different person.
The problems with this are many:

• I'm often actually on "their side" and all their soundbites of hate for others are wasted.
• Soundbites of hate aren't conversation - they're a waste of everyone's time. Focus on the conversation, not the people and definitely not some other person/group that you have a beef with who actually aren't present at the time.
• Even if I weren't in "their group", coming out with hate, insults, and put downs will never convince anyone. All you're doing is ranting online which helps no one. Maybe it makes you feel a little better to put down an Internet stranger, but that's hardly something to be proud of.

Bottom line, the correct target for your frustrations is a therapist. If you want to discuss issues, you need to keep it topic (not person) focused and actually respond to what was said and not what the voices tell you.

Halloha, my name's Gianluca. Nice to meet you!- is what I would say in a formal setting.
But hence you found me in my area of comfort, welcome to my humble abode. Would you like some tea? Maybe you fancy some Earl Grey.
Anyway anyway I'm starting to babble lol, if you're wondering what I'm here for, it's for talking to you, interesting person out there wherever may you be. Meeting new people and all it brings is something I love. Making friends this way is amazing so therefore I presented myself!
If details are something you're into hearing, i can give you lots:
-I have to refuel every day almost cuz I go through an entire tank in 2 days or less. Love driving around. (Had to get new shoes and take up running to reduce expenses)
-I'm a car mechanic, also a construction worker, carpenter and if patience blesses me on that day; a painter.
-What am I saving up for? Well it's big, pretty massive in fact. So massive i could write an entire letter about it... Huh... Would it be cheeky if I said you can ask about this in your message? Would be a good idea.
-Had to start running everywhere for transport which is fun, I also do cycling, practice jumps and tricks at the bike park and do motorcycle and karting races. (Other categories and car racing are a work in progress, will upgrade soon)
-Music taste: this is the part where you look at a bunch of hyperbabble about bands that don't make a lot of sense unless you heard them, but I'll just throw a buncha names and you can see if any of the following applies: Radiohead, Megadeth, Fishmans, Marillion, The Black Keys, Queens of The Stone Age, Buckethead, Alphaville, Dire Straits, Little River Band, David Bowie, XTC, UB40, Commodores, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Cure.
-Ultramegahyper car and motorcycles fan, but in the weirdest way possible. My dream cars are actually cheap french hot hatches like the 306 and a 90's Renault Clio. The car I'd get first no matter what is a 1998 Ford Focus. If possible the RS version. And as for motorcycles I want a Kawasaki ZXR, 80's style. Also love German cars, especially old BMW's, first one I'd get is an e32 with the M70 V12 engine. Also love old Volkswagens and Audis, without a doubt would own an 80's Audi with one of their 5 cylinder engines and turbocharge it. Also very fond of japanese cars and will own a Nissan in any form possible, especially the 350z
-Played almost every Need For Speed game that ever released, started my journey with the franchise through Underground, and played every release as they launched. (yes even Undercover, I actually enjoyed it). I listen to the soundtracks of old NFS games in my free time. Also played Midnight Club, Forza, Assetto Corsa, FlatOut, Burnout, BeamNG... I COULD KEEP GOING.
-Not everything in my life is about cars though, my day is dedicated to music too, especially playing piano. I'm also a guitar and bass player. And really want to get more sound gear and instruments in the future (Cars and music gear? I'll be broke all the time)
-I'm relatively organized, but living by myself has shown me that being the only person inside the house, I leave stuff around unless somebody visits. But while living with my parents I didn't make any mess anywhere so I'm not an absolute demon.
-Yes, living by myself also requires me to cook and I'm actually an amazing cook. I include lots of seasoning and veggies into the meals, even soy to balance things out and eggs for protein. Learned lots while being independent.
-Fun facts about me to end this: The amount of clothes I have in total is so small that i can wash them all in one washing machine load, the house machine size. I also have 3 different pillows around me at all times cuz I don't like laying on a flat surface. I listen to music even while showering. And I own a dog that requires me to feed her on a daily basis even though I beg her to feed off the sun.
Anyways that's about it from me! Hope you enjoyed this lil introduction that is the size of the Twilight prologue, but way better.

I (30F) love my boyfriend (30M). We have been together for four years and own a home together. We have two dogs and no plans on having children. We both work the same hours and split household duties 50/50-ish. We were engaged to be married, and now we are not. He has moved out of our home temporarily (it was my wish).
He has always struggled (to some degree) with handling his emotions, as well as any confrontation. I have accepted this about him. Turns out he has been harbouring negative feelings and bitterness for quite some time now (regarding several itty bitty things) and this exploded into a mini breakup. He has immediacy regretted how he handled the situation, and would like to continue where we left off (get married). That is not possible for me at the moment, since he managed to shatter all trust in those few days of immaturity.
I am his first serious relationship. He has already booked an appointment with a therapist, and I will join him in therapy when needed. I can see and feel his regret and true emotions at this time. He is asking me to build trust as we go, but I am struggling with that. Although he needs to prove himself to me, I know that I also need to work on my own healing and forgiveness if we are ever to reach the same level of love that we had.
I am not asking for advice on whether or not I should stay with him, but rather on how to rebuild the trust in my heart. What concrete steps can I take, and how long of a process can I expect? If you gave up on trying, when did you know it was time to walk away?

Does anybody else who is INTP tend to hear about something but not really care because it doesn’t vitally affect their life in any way like yeah maybe a minor way but nothing you can’t live without like this is meaning no offense but when there’s a 🏫🔫ing that doesn’t even happen near me it doesn’t matter to me(just an example )

Hello everyone,
​
I am scheduling a business trip to Santa Cruz this summer, and all of a sudden I was thinking, "why not take the bike with me?".
I'd be flying into SFO early in the morning the day before with the bike, and then saddle up with my small suitcase on the rack and get going. But I'm getting bogged down on the logistics of flying with a bike and hopping right on directly at the airport.
Would you guys have any recommendations
- For a route from SFO to UCSC? I was thinking crossing Millbrae westbound, then go south around those lakes that are along the 220, jump over the mountains by skyline boulevard / Tunitas creek and eventually Hwy 1 all the way to Santa Cruz. I'd be taking my gravel/endurance bike, but I'd prefer to keep it on pavement all the way through.
- For storing a bike box or bag at or near SFO for the week, and pick it up on the way back after a week? I've been reluctant to fly with the bike for that reason.
​
Thanks a lot for the help, and hoping I'm not breaking community rules here.

Basically, you make a list. But make it a list of "problems I want to solve," instead of a list of "things I want to buy." The goal is to buy things that will give you the most quality-of-life improvement for the least money.
Once you have a list of problems, do a brainstorming exercise to come up with possible solutions - for each problem, write down everything you can think of, not because they're all realistic solutions but because thinking in new directions can help you find novel solutions that you wouldn't otherwise.
Then you rate each item for each of several criteria. The ranking system is definitely subjective, but it can help you think about how much difference in your life a purchase can make. You can choose your own criteria, but mine are:

• How often is it a problem?
• How severe is the problem?
• How expensive is the fix?

Severity and frequency are on scales of 1-10 (higher # = more severe/more frequent). Cost is on a scale of 1-3 (higher # = cheaper to fix; cost can also mean how much time it takes, to capture if it's low $$ but high effort). The overall rank is the product of those three numbers, so the biggest rank values are the ones to tackle first. It definitely helps me reconsider that fun new tool I want for my hobby, compared to fixing the kitchen drawer that won't stay closed - $200 for a tool I might use once a month, compared to $2 and 30 minutes (including the trip to the hardware store) to install the magnet on a drawer I use many times per day.
(In case you're wondering: yes this is roughly based on doing PFMEAs for manufacturing and the RPN approach.) Other examples of small things that made a big difference for me:

• Fixing the bathroom door so it's easy to open and close (probably the one door I use most, like, in my whole life)
• Adding a tension rod to our backyard gate to fix the sag to make it easy to latch/unlatch
• Putting finishing paste wax on the wooden drawer bottoms for my wife's thrift store dresser, and on the slide grooves of our attic's pull-down ladder

This might seem obvious - and maybe it is - but it has really helped me recognize how a problem's impact on my quality-of-life depends heavily on how frequently it's a problem. I use this method to prioritize a lot of my discretionary spending (AKA the monthly allowance I budget as "fun" money) but also for big things like home repairs/upgrades. Obviously it doesn't cover everything, but the ranking system is fluid enough that you can take into account some kind of "does this bring joy?" criteria that is even more subjective than the basic criteria I use. If you want to buy something that doesn't solve a specific problem, that doesn't mean you can't buy it. But you can think about why you want to buy it, and how it will improve your life.
And yes, it's easy to "cheat" the ranking system - massage the ratings of different items so you can justify buying one instead of another. But this just helps you organize your thoughts and at the end of the day you're still choosing how to spend your money. Obviously not all purchases are practical or need to solve a major problem, but this is a general decision-making framework to help you choose. It's nothing revolutionary, but it's nice to put some structure around budgeting when you have to choose how to spend your money.
TL;DR buy things to solve problems, not just because you want them, and consider the small things that impact you every day in small ways. Or maybe this just shows that I put a lot of value on the performance of things that open and close.

Apologies if this is the wrong sub to ask this question. But recently there was a development in the Madeleine McCann case and police in Portugal searched a plot of land near water and they flattened this land and dug 8 holes in the ground as you can see in this video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slGw9tus0Rs&ab_channel=TheIndependent
I'm just curious to know whether they just arbitrarily dug 8 holes at random or would there have been a reason for them to choose the specific areas to dig?
Can someone educate me as to what exactly they're doing and what technique they're using?

So I got demoted. From my nearly 20 year long career.
My assistant manager flipped out on me yesterday because I corrected her about her clocking in and then immediately pulling several people into the office to show them her new Switch…at the top of our dinner rush hour, might I add! Important piece of information; she has been in a battle with her mental health and this could’ve had everything to do with how it transpired.
I’ve corrected the team on many occasions about our productivity and the importance of getting to their stations when they clock in…and staying at their stations until the end of rush. (2-3 hours max!) Well she wasn’t happy that she couldn’t share her new toy with her friends. She aggressively left the store while screaming “*uck this place! I *ucking quit” Then slamming the back door behind her and she proceeded to walk down our busy highway. She stormed back into the lobby 10 minutes later and went WILD screaming and yelling! Slandering me in front of the entire crew! She threw something at the glass towards me, attempting to jump over it while screaming and cussing at me! (she 100% would have assaulted me had I not been behind the huge glass sneeze guard) Apparently someone in her clique had our DM on speed dial and obviously left out some very vital information. He shows up and sends me on my way to work at a sister store for a 35% pay cut position!
I find out later that night that my DM let her come back to run the rest of her shift! What!??? I’m the one who would’ve got assaulted over this.!!! ☹️ I’m so conflicted about everything!
Several of my crew have informed me that she was gloating to everyone saying that she got me fired and trying to cause even more trouble in the store over the situation. Even my DM had to tell her to keep my name out of her mouth 3 times. She cried after every time he said it!
I had given her chance after chance…yall she called out so many times! Any other GM would have cut ties with her a long time ago! But I knew she was going through it and in a huge battle with her demons, so I held onto her for nearly 2 years! I had faith in her, I gave her advice, I even encouraged her to look into holistic ways to soothe her anxiety, meditation and yoga. I Just hoped she would get her feet back flat on the ground again some day.
I had to give her so many chances,, because I personally know how that battle feels!
I hate to say that I’m regretting it, but I kind of am. 😔
I’m thinking about getting a lawyer…

unsafe-workplace

demoted-unfairly

The facility I work at has a contract company that provides clinical medical services at an on-post clinic. I work some of the independent contractors hired by the contract company and recently we’ve run into some significant issues. I’m not very savvy with contract regulations, and I haven’t been able to find clear answers with google, so I’m hoping that some of you with contract experience can help answer some questions.
- Is there a limit on the number of times that a contract can be extended? The company in question completed its original five year contract. Due to other companies disputing the awarding of a new contract, the current company just received its third six month extension. It was my understanding that only one extension on a contract was allowable. Part of the issue is complaints that his company has now received a free 18 month extension on its contract and this has led to decreased compensation to the independent contractor providers because the prime contractor has refused to negotiate compensation during these extensions (despite the prime contractor receiving increased compensation from the government).
- Does the prime contractor need consent to use subcontractors? In this case, the prime contractor (received the contract because Veteran owned, small business) immediately sub contracted to a mega-corporation. This sub contractor provides about half of the hours of clinical patient care that the prime vendor is contracted to provide. My reading of Federal Acquisition Regulation 44.201-1 makes me think that they needed to have permission for this since it proves about 50% of the labor hours and it is a fixed price contract.
Some of the providers that feel they are getting screwed by the company are hard workers, and losing them will hurt our clinic. As this is unfolding, I’m trying to understand if they’re upset but stuck in a situation or if there have been legitimate issues with the way this contract has been handled. Any help you can offer is appreciated.

I just got myself a 2tb m.2 for like $70 and realized while putting it in there that the lil baby boot drive is like, headed to middle school next year. Samsung 840 120gb, a classic.
I've read that SSDs have a shelf life essentially, based on how often the data on them is used or something - tbh the info was a bit lost on me - and given that it's had Windows on it for nearly a decade I bet that data has been used a lot. Drive has been reformatted probably a dozen times as well.
Drives are cheap as hell right now. I paid like $100 for this drive when I bought it. Reinstalls are a pain in the beans but less so than in days past, and I did just do a re-build and re-install a week ago so I wouldn't lose much, and my interwebs is fast enough to make my own middle school self foam at the mouth, go crosseyed, and die, so re-downloading stuff isn't a big deal either.
I mean, I think I've already answered myself, I'm already on amazon. I guess I just want to hear it in someone else's voice, or maybe have someone tell me I've read stuff completely wrong and the drive is probably fine. It seems fine, by all accounts. No signs of failure, perhaps a bit slower than it once was.
Thanks for listening to me ramble.
Oh, also while I'm here...I can populate both m.2 slots on my ROG B550-F without impacting the GPU performance in PCI, right? It just disables the SATA5_6?

crossposting here as I didn't really get much helpful advice from /offmychest sadly!
so I've had an online acquaintance (mainly through twitter and tumblr) for about 4-5 years now. We've never been super close, and tbh calling them a friend in the title here is probably an overstatement - we've only hung out once in person. We've only communicated very minimally in private dms. We connected because we have similar interests and values, and we're both in our 20s, and we have some mutual friends too. I want to stress they've never done anything really 'bad', I've never felt threatened or bullied by them, but some of their behaviour has made me feel really weird for a while now and i'm just not really sure what to do.
So, the issue is mainly that I feel I'm being copied. It ranges from very basic stuff - repeating back my jokes and phrases to other people as if it's their own - to stuff that feels really personal, for instance I came out as bisexual to some friends online and about two days later they did the exact same thing. Sometimes, whenever I'm posting online it feels inevitable that if I express that I enjoyed a piece of media, they will pick it up and make it part of their personality too. I came up with a funny little way of obliquely referring to my s.o. and they picked up the same nickname for the person I presume they're dating. They're also now studying at the same university as me, in the same department. None of it's actually harmful, but it makes me feel so strange that someone is taking on these aspects of my personality - I had an actual irl stalker a few years ago and it arouses similar feelings in me when I see this behaviour (though I don't think this person has any real harmful intent, I want to make that clear). Sometimes, as petty as it is, I just find it makes me really pissed off - I feel like it's taken me years to forge who I am and to see someone kind of cosplay as me online is jarring.
I do want to say that, first of all, I don't think I'm the only person they do this to. I've seen them employ similar tactics wrt other people in their friendship circle. It seems like they struggle generally with having a stable and independent sense of self. It may be that this is a manifestation of neurodivergence, and it's for that reason that I want to be careful with what I do next. They seem to have quite a depressive personality that can really spiral whenever anything goes wrong - I saw them have almost a total breakdown when someone jokingly criticised them before. I feel like I should say something, because it's really bugging me at this point, and nobody can really improve for the better if people don't tell them what they think, but I don't want to make them feel like I just don't like them, like they're being publicly shamed, or like they're just a bad person. It's sad, because they are actually funny and smart and don't need to emulate me in order to be likeable. If anyone has any suggestions for how to go about this then I'd be really grateful! Thanks in advance <3

Hello I applied for EU residence as a worker nearly two months ago. And I don’t get any information about this application was considered positive or not.
Today finally I manage to call international house of Copenhagen but they told me that they send paper to my house post box but I didn’t get anything.
Also they mentioned that I should have this in my e-Boks but it’s also empty. Even when i told them my cpr number they cannot find this in system. In the conversation they told me that they resend this to me but still k don’t have anything in e-Boks
And I have no ide what I can’t do right now, I need new yellow card with real cpr number and I need this document to set Danish bank account What I can do right now?