Toxic Rats: DJ, Scott, Trent, Sammy, Sierra
Mutant Maggots: Anne Maria, Molly, Scarlett, Geoff
Episode 08: The Treasure Island of Dr. McLean
"Last time, on Total Drama Revenge of the Island!" The recap montage opened with several RCMP helicopters flying around before cutting to the Mutant Maggots entering the mining elevator. "The players went on an impromptu to environmental coveru-uh, clean-up challenge," Sammy, DJ, and Sierra were shown running down a mineshaft, then Scott and Trent tripped on a rail, "and tried not to get a toxic make-over like everything down there." Geoff was shown struggling with Molly, both looking sickly, and a few shots followed of various mutant gophers running and squealing.
"Max came back to the island," the host continued over clips of the super villain revealing herself to Scarlett, "and E-Clone wasn't far behind," the alien was shown tackling DJ, "and after overcoming his germ phobia," Chris said as Dave was shown hitting the gopher and saving his teammates, "he voluntarily took the old heave-ho," the normal guy was shown getting hurled.
"Makes you wanna reflect, don't it?" Chris asked as the last clips finished up. "Maybe...with a cup of Chris McLean Instant Coffee," he said as the scene cut to him standing on the docks holding a mug with his face on the side. He took a sip, his eyes went wide, and he spat it out. "Bitter...better!" he quickly corrected with a forced smile. "Better than the rest." He dumped the mug out into the lake, and a fish promptly surfaced where the drink had landed and vomited in disgust.
Chris held his awkward smile for a second before regaining his composure and walking to the side. "Who will survive? Who will wish they didn't? Find out right now, on Total! Drama! Revenge, of the Island!"
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The episode opened to a shot of the sun rising over the lake, a few seagulls calling in the distance. The camera slowly cut from close-up to close-up of the sleeping campers – Sammy and DJ, Trent, Sierra, and Scott, Scarlett and Geoff, and Molly and Anne Maria. All nine of them were sleeping on wooden rafts in their usual clothes, until the shot cut to an alarm clock tied to a buoy with large acoustic horns next to the bell. The hands struck approximately 7 o'clock, and a loud ringing sang through the morning air.
DJ bolted awake with a gasping start, and so did the others a few seconds later.
"What? Where are we?" Anne Maria asked in confusion, the camera cutting outward to show the two rafts floating next to each other and the buoy-alarm amid a mass of debris mostly consisting of wood, furniture, and waste barrels. Each raft had a signpost with their respective team logo on it – the Rats on the left; the Maggots on the right.
"No!" Sammy griped, the camera coming out even further. "Chris must've set us adrift after we went to sleep!"
"Yeah," Scott said as the camera moved behind him and Sammy, showing the island of Wawanakwa off in the distance. "Wait, I don't remember anything after dinner."
Scarlett's eyes widened in realization. "Dinner! Of course!"
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The footage flashed to a close-up of a meal tray, held by Scarlett as she collected her dinner. The meal was a slimy pile of spaghetti, tomato sauce, butt-shaped meatballs, and feathers, plopped down onto the tray without ceremony.
The shot zoomed out to show her eyeing Chef with mild disgust.
"Turkey buttolini," Chef explained with a grin. "Enjoy your na~ap!" he said before realizing his slip-up. "Err, meal..."
Scarlett just pursed her lips at the man as he laughed darkly to himself.
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The scene flashed back to the Maggots. "Turkey makes you woozy, so mutant turkey can easily knock us all out," Scarlett deduced.
The focus moved to Trent, still sleeping peacefully on the raft.
"He can't be sleeping forever," Scott said as the camera moved to show him looking down on his teammate. "Come on! Get up!" he said as he bent down and picked Trent up.
Trent opened his eyes. "How did we even get here?" he asked before smiling at Scott. "Hey Scott."
Confessional: Trent
"Scott's really cool. I think we made a great connection these past few days. Either way, it'll be hard for me to vote anyone off the team," Trent said.
Confessional: Scott
"Trent makes me feel weird, and it feels good. I like the feeling, but it's distracting. I have to get rid of it somehow," Scott said.
Confessionals End
The scene cut back to the Mutant Maggots on their raft.
"I'm never gonna eat turkey again!" Geoff said to Anne Maria. "That food can knock you out!"
"Not as much as I'm gonna knock Chef out for serving us this," Anne Maria replied back.
"Take it easy. We're still alive and all," Geoff calmed her down.
Anne Maria took in a deep breath. "Alright, but I'm avoiding breakfast until further notice."
The shot cut over to Scarlett, who was pulling Molly aside. The indie chick raised an eyebrow and the quiet brainiac leaned in close and whispered "Have you noticed how close Anne Maria is getting with Geoff ever since he switched to our team?"
"I'd have to be blind to not notice," Molly remarked.
"With that as the matter of hand, I'd suggest us joining forces if they'll be cooped up with one another," Scarlett said.
Molly raised her eyebrow. "Even so, we have four members on the team after Dave's elimination last episode."
"I know that, and we'd have to convince them to vote individually for both of us," Scarlett strategized. "That way, we can easily target one of them."
"I do work alone, but I also want to save my butt from being eliminated," Molly said back. "You've got a deal."
Confessional: Molly
"Scarlett's not exactly my go-to as an ally, but given we're both closed off, and I don't have Dave to talk to anymore, we might as well stick together," Molly accepted.
Confessional: Scarlett
"We're nearing the merge, and that means I must analyze the remaining contestants and see their strengths and weaknesses," Scarlett smiled in satisfaction.
"Trent and DJ are major physical and social threats. The sooner they are eliminated, the better. Sierra and Scott are wild cards, though I sense Scott has more intelligence."
"Sammy and Geoff are fit and in good shape, but I'll save them for later as they can't outscore me in intelligence. And as for Anne Maria and Molly, they're average in every single way. Going up against them in the finale will be beneficial to winning," the brainiac finished proudly.
Confessional Ends
The static cut away to a shot of the rafts from a perspective a little higher, a little further away, and at a right angle to where the camera had been before. The roar of engines and the honk of a horn heralded the arrival of Chris and Chef from the right, the two men riding jet skis and wearing life jackets.
"Morning, suckers!" Chris greeted with an exuberant grin. "How'd you enjoy your turkey buttolini?"
"I've eaten better," Sierra said, irritated. "It tasted good and didn't knock people out cold enough for you to kidnap them."
"I'm sure you have," Chris replied teasingly.
"And what's with all the kidnappings?" Sierra continued. "You can simply ask us to meet you someplace like a normal person, not lock us in extremely cold trucks or do this."
"Because," Chris answered, "that wouldn't be good for ratings. As Total Drama's biggest fan, I thought you'd already know that?"
Sierra narrowed her eyes at the host.
Confessional: Sierra
Sierra was shown to be feeling furious. "Okay, mom? I know how hard it is to end a crush, but he's a total jerkface! When I come home, the Chris McLean museum/guest room better be destroyed!" the uberfan hissed lowly.
Confessional Ends
Chris regained his usual demeanor, "First thing's first: If any of you are still trying to find that McLean Brand Invincibility Sculpture I hid at the beginning of the season," he announced, taking out a photograph of the head in question, "you can stop now. Somebody's already found it," he said, dropping the picture into the lake.
The contestants were all upset and angry about the news. "And speaking of digging things up, today's challenge is all about winning the ultimate reward: Life, itself!" His tone became deeper and more dramatic as he made his declaration. "Your first challenge is to race to the shore, by any means possible." The camera panned over to the island in the distance. "First team there wins a handy reward. Last team gets a heinous penalty, before you embark on a quest for buried treasure."
"You're using us to dig up buried treasure?" Trent asked. "That's just weak."
"There was treasure here once, but I found it years ago," Chris emphasized. "How do you think I bought the island?"
"It must've been a small treasure," Trent mumbled to himself.
"I thought it was through all your movies and songs you put out before becoming a host, and I own a hundred of them," Sierra smirked.
Chris' brow shot up in shock, and Chef snickered behind him. "Just get moving already!" the host demanded, backing up his jetski then speeding away with Chef.
"I thought Sierra liked Chris, but now she's insulting him?" Sammy asked DJ.
"She must've seen how rotten he is both on the inside and outside," DJ quipped.
Confessional: Sammy
"Mocking someone who's the host of the show is definitely a risky move," Sammy admitted. "Sierra will be lucky if she doesn't get disqualified."
Confessional Ends
"Are you all just gonna stand there or are you gonna come help me pry this off?" Anne Maria asked, the shot cutting to her trying to break the rigid signpost.
"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry, Anne Maria," Geoff said, quickly turning around and moving to help her with Scarlett and Molly following right behind. All of them grabbed on to the sign and pulled, and after a moment of effort, the post snapped at the bottom.
"I use poles for canoeing back home," Molly said as she held the broken sign, "but we can use this to paddle to shore."
"I'll do the paddling, girls," Geoff volunteered, taking the broken sign from her. "I can kick this raft into high gear!"
"Be sure to take caution while you do so," Scarlett said. "There are sharks in the water."
The focus shifted over to the Rats, who were watching their rivals. "We have to do what they're doing," Sammy suggested.
Sierra put one hand on the top of their sign, bending it slightly, then snapped it with a swift kick.
"That was excessive, but we can row now," DJ said as he took the sign.
Confessional: Trent
"Using that sign will be much better than using my guitar as a paddle," Trent said. "It wouldn't flow well in water."
Confessional Ends
The focus cut back to the Maggots and it heralded the start of challenge music, and Geoff began to row with his sign-paddle. "We need to put some distance between us and the Rats!" Scarlett ordered. "Stroke like you mean it!"
The camera cut outward, revealing that DJ's own paddling was keeping the Rats about neck-and-neck with the Maggots, and the shot focused in on them. "Not to be a downer, but we need more than just DJ on this," Trent said.
"If we want to catch up, we'll have to get in the water and kick," Sierra realized.
"No way!" Scott protested. "Remember the shark?" He got shoved into the water courtesy of Sierra.
"The faster we get to shore, the faster we won't be eaten," Trent said, walking to the back of the raft and jumping into the lake. Sammy and Sierra then dived in as well.
"Fine," Scott gave in and pushed the raft with the other three.
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The scene cut to the Maggots, Anne Maria and Molly and Scarlett standing near the back of their raft as Geoff continued to paddle them forward. A whoop of excitement caught their attention, and the shot zoomed out to show the Rats' raft moving ahead quickly in the foreground.
"That's it," Molly said in an upset tone. "We need to paddle and push the raft at the same time."
"Into the water!" Scarlett immediately commanded and dived into the lake alongside Molly while Anne Maria lingered with Geoff. "You too, Anne Maria."
"You know," Anne Maria said, "Geoff should be in the back with you guys. His legs are better suited for kicking."
The shot cut to Geoff as he paused his paddling. "My calves are toned now that you mention it."
"I'll agree to this, but you have to be the one that paddles now," Scarlett told Anne Maria.
Geoff handed Anne Maria the sign post and dived in shortly after and the camera lingered on Anne Maria paddling the raft.
Confessional: Geoff
"I do a lot of leg exercises, and my legs never let down if I need them for a race or for swimming," Geoff summarized.
Confessional Ends
"Keep kicking your feet and we'll be on shore!" DJ told his team, but stopped abruptly along with his team's raft as it smacked into something that sounded pink and fleshy. He looked warily ahead, the camera panning on to his reflection in the massive yellow eye of a truly gigantic octopus that was resting just below the surface with only the top of its head in view.
It shuddered, then bellowed deeply and angrily and lifted its tentacles out of the water. DJ and his teammates screamed in terror.
The shot cut to the sky above, where Chris and Chef were watching the challenge unfold in their helicopter. "Awww, it's playing with them," the host laughed.
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The focus moved back to the Rats, all five now on the raft with Sierra holding their sign post and DJ being held captive in one of the octopus's many tentacles. The shot cut to Sierra as she screamed "Let go of my teammate!" and swung at the tentacle several times, only to repeatedly hit DJ in the face.
The camera focused on the captive brickhouse, and his face looked more bruised with each whack. "You're hitting me!" DJ wailed with every whack.
"Giant squid dead ahead!" Anne Maria yelled as the focus cut over to the Maggots' raft floating a little ways away.
"Keep it down," Scarlett hissed, her eyes still locked forward. "We should be able to sneak by it if it's focused on the Rats."
"You might want to look behind you," Molly fearfully pointed at a circling shark fin.
The shark circled around to the front and jumped onto the raft, revealing itself as Fang. As the mutant grinned menacingly at Anne Maria, she held up her sign-paddle in front of her.
The camera briefly cut to Geoff frozen in fear, and when Fang jumped into the water, he screamed and swam around the raft in a circle screaming "Shark! Shark!"
"This is just going to get us killed!" Molly hissed.
As this went on, Anne Maria became frustrated. She held the sign above her head and slammed it down on Fang, causing the shark to be sent flying off-screen.
"Thanks for the save," Geoff said as he got back on the raft.
"Now you owe me twice for saving you twice," Anne Maria replied.
Confessional: Anne Maria
"Technically, I didn't make the gopher go away, but I prevented it from attacking Geoff, so I'd consider that a save," Anne Maria prided.
Confessional Ends
The shot cut to the Rats, all of them being held captive by the octopus. Then, to the shock of the team, Fang flew into the octopus's eye. It shuddered and bellowed in pain, then dropped its captives into the water as Fang sank down.
The camera panned right to show the Rats resurfacing away from the octopus.
"Let's get out of here while we still can!" Sammy shouted, diving into the water with Trent following shortly after.
"Hurry!" Trent shouted as he and Sammy hastily swam off towards the right, with Scott, Sierra, and DJ quickly joining them.
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The scene flashed back to the Maggots, all of them now on the raft.
"Okay," Molly whispered back to her teammates, "I think we're clear now."
Their raft promptly rammed into something. She turned around, and yelped as the shot zoomed out to reveal the angered giant octopus surfacing in front of them.
"That doesn't look clear," Anne Maria told her fearfully as they scrambled to the back of the raft.
"Now how are we going to escape this?" Scarlett griped.
Geoff was lost in thought until an idea came to his head. "Wait a minute! I have an idea! Get as far back as you can!"
Geoff made his way to the squid and faced him. "I bet you can't even smash us with your jelly fins, Octo-Guy!" the party boy mocked and grinned at the octopus.
The octopus raised a tentacle high and curled it almost into a fist while Geoff's teammates gasped and spoke in fear at the same time.
The curled-up tentacle suddenly sprouted several large spikes, and the three Maggots at the back of the raft screamed...
And then the footage and music ground to a halt, a 'pause' symbol appearing over the slightly-faded scene. "Will Geoff's shouting outsmart the octopus's punching?" Chris asked, standing up in front of the paused screen wearing a hat shaped like an octopus head and tentacles. "And what's up with Sierra? Find out, after the break," he finished, crossing his arms coolly.
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(Commercial Break)
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So I wrote this. Recycled ideas, but eventually all of this will be cited. It's basically my own CES Letter. The formatting is weird because this is coming over from Notion.
I had to write this out to start my own deconstruction anyway, but giving it to my spouse will be interesting. Read it if you want. Critique it if you want. I just had to get this out into the universe.
​

1. The concept that the Church can lie to you
   
   1. Rather than being told the entire truth about Joseph Smith’s death, we are told that he is innocent of any crime and that he went to deliver himself up. The truth of the matter is, Joseph Smith was in jail for destroying the property of William Law, who was creating a newspaper called the Nauvoo Expositor. He ordered the printing press be destroyed and violated the first amendment, as well as destroying another’s property. The newspaper exposed polygamy and many of the other immoralities of the Church. On the surface, this lie doesn’t seem egregious, but D&C 135 section mentions that Joseph was a martyr for the religion, and I was always taught this. However, he didn’t deliver himself up to be killed and it wasn’t because he was a “mormon”; it was because he broke the law and had angered a mob. All of this was a direct result of him practicing polygamy and yielding so much power.
   2. The method of translating the Book of Mormon was largely misrepresented to me as a youth, missionary, and young adult. I was always taught, whether through art or articles, that Joseph used the Gold Plates to translate the Book of Mormon.
   3. However, upon widespread discovery of further quotes and scrutiny, in 2014 the Church admitted that the translation was done through a rock and a hat. This is justified by quoting the Book of Mormon where it talks about bringing forth a stone to shine forth in the darkness. (Alma 37:23-24). The methods of translation accounts differ from each other. Martin Harris saying they were done by sitting across the table. Oliver Cowdery saying it was done by the urim and thummim or two stones and spectacles. To be clear, I am okay with some ambiguity surrounding the translation, or it being by the power of God. What I’m not okay with is the church deceiving how it was done until the internet era forced them to release the Gospel Topic Essays on this subject.
   4. The implementation of polygamy. a. Left ambiguous for a reason. How Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Wilford Woodruff, Heber C. Kimball and many other high ranking church members took many wives including teenage wives. The church’s essay on this topic refers to Helen Mar Kimball, a 14 year old, as “several months before her 15th birthday.” In fact, they even say that Helen said it was for “eternity alone” but that is an out of context poem from Helen’s journal. There is no proof of sexual relations, but there are proof in many other relatoinships, including Fanny Alger, Joseph’s first “wife” that Oliver Cowdery called a filthy affair. He was excommunicated partly due to that statement. b. Joseph Smith wrote a letter to 19-year old Nancy Rigdon propositioning her to marry him after she denied his appeal in 1842. This letter is quoted in General Conference many times over the years, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence, and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God.” He then goes on to tell her that we cannot obey the commandments if we don’t know them and what seems wrong, can actually be right in certain circumstances. He quotes the times God has contradicted Himself in the scriptures. This letter is gross. Note that it comes right before the plural marriage revelation D&C 132. c. Joseph claimed that an angel with a drawn sword made him marry Zina Huntington Jacobs, despite her engagement to Henry Jacobs. He sent Henry on missions. She did stay faithful and was eventually sealed to Brigham Young, who also subsequently sent Henry Jacobs on missions. d. This doesn’t even take into account the actions of preceeding prophets who were married to dozens of women, sealed to hundreds, and many of them were underage. Wilford Woodruff for instance sealed himself to a 6 year old girl who had passed away, inexplicably. Maybe he didn’t know? Maybe he did? Who knows.
   5. D&C 132- Joseph Smith was sealed to over 20 wives before being sealed to Emma. He denied being polygamous publicly multiple times and the relief society (of which, Emma was president) wrote a letter condemning polygamy, while one of the presidency members was sealed to Joseph.
      1. Law of Sarah was violated before it was ever implemented
      2. Joseph performing a second marriage to the Whitney sisters after Emma approved it.
      3. Women must be virgins, while Joseph was married to other married women (at least 2).
      4. Abraham was not commanded by God to practice plural marriage, he was asked by Sarah to marry Hagoth because Sarah was barren.
      5. Additionally, Jacob condemns polygamy in the Book of Mormon but then God okays it in the D&C 132, both of them specifically citing the examples of Soloman and David.
      6. Plural marriage is the “new and everlasting covenant” implying that plural marriage in the celestial kingdom will be the new and everlasting covenant and required.
      7. 5. Historicity of the Book of Abraham There is an entire Gospel Topics Essay on this but the background is as follows. A guy named Michael Chandler shows up in Kirland with mummies and a bunch of scrolls. They were unearthed by Napoleon’s raiding of the Egyptian catacombs. Joseph believes that they are scrolls that contained writings of Abraham. He begins translation in 1835 and publishes it in May of 1842. The odds that these mummies, coming from a salesman who had a lot to gain, containing the written word of Abraham has always seemed really fortunate. In the Pearl of Great Price, the heading says they are penned by “the hand of Abraham” but according to scholars in and out of the church, they were written much later. “These fragments date to between the third century B.C.E. and the first century C.E., long after Abraham lived.” Not only is it not written by Abraham’s hand, it is also not anything to do with Abraham. In Joseph’s time, the Rosetta Stone had not been widely discovered. He began translating this book and now, experts know that these are standard funerary texts. The Facsimiles (pictures) have nothing to do with the sacrifice of Abraham. Everyone virtually agrees that what is on the remains of the scroll (most of which was lost in the Chicago fire but then recovered), is not what Joseph translated. This casts a large shadow of doubt on Joseph’s ability to translate. The Church is admitting that Joseph translated incorrectly. The only way to reconcile this is that Joseph used these scrolls to channel the Spirit to record what is in the Book of Abraham today. The doctrines in Abraham largely expand on the Genesis story but go deeper in doctrines about plurality of Gods and the creation of the universe and stars. Some of this goes against the Book of Mormon’s view of God. The Authenticity of the Book of Mormon
      8. This is arguably the largest domino that needs to stay in place. Here are a few quotes demonstrating the absolute necessity of the Book of Mormon being an authentic history of the peoples on this continent.
      9. “The Book of Mormon is God’s compelling witness of the divinity of Jesus Christ, the prophetic calling of Joseph Smith, and the absolute truth of this Church.” - Tad R. Callister
      10. “The Book of Mormon is the most important religious text to be revealed from God to man ‘since the writings of the New Testament were compiled nearly two millennia ago.’ Joseph Smith declared the Book of Mormon to be “the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion.” It is the only book that the Lord Himself has testified to be true.” - President Nelson
      11. “I testify that one cannot come to full faith in this latter-day work—and thereby find the fullest measure of peace and comfort in these, our times—until he or she embraces the divinity of the Book of Mormon and the Lord Jesus Christ, of whom it testifies…and if he or she leaves this Church, it must be done by crawling over or under or around the Book of Mormon to make that exit. In that sense the book is what Christ Himself was said to be: “a stone of stumbling, … a rock of offence,” a barrier in the path of one who wishes not to believe in this work.” - Jeffrey R. Holland.
      12. "All that we have, all that we do hinge on the truth of that account of the boy Joseph Smith. If it is true, then everything that we have in this Church is true and is more precious and worth more than anything else on earth. If it is false, we are engaged in the greatest fraud that was ever perpetrated on earth.” - Gordon B Hinckley
      13. So with all that being said, this is my biggest stumbling block. I will begin with my own issues with the book that happened long before I was ever introduced to anything outside of approved Church material.
      14. The Sermon on the Mount given to the Nephites in 3 Nephi matches almost exactly to the one given in Matthew, with slight changes. He sets up a church similar to the one set up with Peter. But, the only issue is years later, Joseph Smith writes the JST and corrects different things in the Matthew version of the Sermon. But, if the Book of Mormon is the most correct book on earth, wouldn’t the writings have been exactly what the Savior meant?
      15. 2 Nephi 3 - Book of Mormon writes Joseph into the text relating a prophecy given to Joseph in Egypt, saying that a choice seer will be raised up and he will be named the Joseph after his father. 2 Nephi 3: 14-16
      16. There is a huge time lapse between Jarom and Omni to get us into Mosiah. 399 BC to 130 BC. The prophets basically write nothing and it seems like it’s just a transition to get to Mosiah.
      17. Ammon chopping off a ton of arms and all the people bring them to the king. The story of Ammon in general is crazy. The King is struck down for 3 days and his wife thinks he is dead. Then, Ammon converts this king who then goes and rescues Ammon’s brothers from another king.
      18. Other direct copies from the New Testament and Paul specifically found in the Book of Mormon. Moroni 7 is basically the same phrasing and concepts taught in 1 Corinthians 13. 2 Nephi 4:17 says “O wrteched man that I am” matches exactly to Romans 7:24.
      19. Alma the Younger’s story mirrors Paul the apostles history almost exactly. Both are destroying the church, get struck down by an Angel, go on to become amazing missionaries and even both appear before King’s and wicked people.
      20. The concepts taught in the Book of Mormon are basically christian. They are practicing Christianity as soon as middle of Mosiah, which is like 100BC. They are baptizing and confirming with the Holy Ghost. However, since Christ hadn’t fulfilled the law of Moses and they should’ve been practicing the Mosaic law. The book contains basically zero Mosaic and Hebrew traditions, which Lehi and his family would have been sharply familiar with. Instead, they practice Christianity before Jesus had even been born or practiced the Atonement.
      21. Joseph Smith almost never quotes from it. In fact, I’ve searched and searched and only found him reference it maybe once or twice. If this book is so important, shouldn’t it had been quoted from extensively. It doesn’t become a huge focus until basically the 1980s with Ezra Taft Benson started “flooding the earth with the Book of Mormon.” I’ve read Brigham Young’s entire Discourses of Brigham Young and he rarely mentions the Book of Mormon. While this proves very little, it just intensifies the idea to me that Joseph wrote it and did not consider it authentic scripture, even for himself.
      22. King Zedekiah Problem - The timeline of when Nephi left Jerusalem in the reign of King Zedekiah in preparation for the destruction of Jerusalem. But, King Nebuchednezzar had already invaded Judah twice by 599BC., two years prior to the Book of Mormon. He then Installed Zedekiah (formerly known as Mattaniah) as King of Jerusalem (2 Kings 24:11-18). So what does this mean?
      23. I will leave out the potential influences here because I do not think they are helpful nor likely to be true source material for the Book of Mormon. I think they are largely speculation and created just to create doubt without much validity or true sources. Do we know if Joseph accessed these works? Not really. But, it’s possible. There are a myriad of other problems with the Book of Mormon when examined scientifically, but that doesn’t really bother me so much. The church has an essay on DNA of Israelites not being in “Lamanite” or native american blood, despite many church leaders preaching that for years. It’s even included in the Book of Mormon title page until like 2006 or something. Additionally, Joseph Smith almost never quotes or teaches from the Book of Mormon. If it’s the most correct book of any on the earth, why is he not basing his sermons off these stories and scriptures?
      24. The Book of Mormon require that 3 key events from the Bible be literal events: a global flood in the times of Noah that covered the entire earth, Adam and Eve in the garden, and different languages occuring because God cursed people at the Tower of Babel.
      25. When I read the Book of Mormon, if I view it from a purely protestant view, it matches up doctrinally. In fact, it matches more purely with a presbyterian or methodist view of the atonement and doctrines (including the original trinitarian concepts taught in the Book before changes by Joseph Smith in 1837, eight years after the Book of Mormon was published and his first vision account that mentions God and Jesus being separate beings)
      26. The Charles Anthon Story is posed as a faith promoting story and prophecy fulfillment of Isaiah 29:11-12, where the learned wouldn’t be able to read a sealed book. So here’s the Church Narrative as found in JSH.
      27. Once i take off my believing member hat and look at this story objectively, it looks to me like complete and total BS. I am honestly insulted that this was taught and passed off to me as some amazing prophecy of Isaiah that was passed on to me.

Disavowed teachings and behavior of former prophets and leaders.

1. Brigham Young
   1. Adam-God theory was taught in the temple and considered straight doctrine by the “prophet” Brigham Young.
   2. Blood Atonement was also taught in the early Utah days
   3. Brigham taught that no man can receive the highest exaltation without taking on extra wives.
   4. Brigham young definitely was in approval (either before or after) of the Mountain Meadows Massacre, which is the slaughtering of innocent immigrants heading west. They luckily spared the smallest children and raised them Mormon. He scapegoated John D Lee who suffered the death penalty, despite being rewarded with “wives” by Brigham Young prior to that. Hmmmm
2. Blacks and the Priesthood
   1. So so so many quotes could go under here talking about how black people would never receive priesthood or temple covenants. The list could go on. I don’t need to repeat them all but in the Gospel Topics Essays, the Church disavows all racist teachings from the past.
   2. Book of Mormon and Abraham still talk about the curse of dark skin. The Lamanites are cursed but then will become “white and delightsome” as they repent (according to Spencer W. Kimball)
   3. How many prophets were completely wrong on this topic? Even after the Civil Rights movement which was going on 15 years earlier. The Church always seeems to be a step behind.
3. Polygamy
   1. Again, I could write a book on how much early leaders emphasized the heavenly requirement for a man to have multiple wives.
   2. Wilford Woodruff was sealed to like a 200 something wives on his birthday, including a six year old who had passed away. This can be found on FamilySearch
   3. The leaders of the Church didn’t stop practicing polygamy until around 1910, which is 20 years after the Manifesto, forced upon them by the US Government. This policy change wasn’t inspiration — to was a matter of the Mormons keeping their stuff or not.
4. Science
   1. Age of the Earth — Joseph Smith says that the earth has a temporal existence of 7,000 years before it will receive it’s eternal glory. This was a common thought back then and ties back into the Old Testament timeline. I was taught this in Seminary. Going back to Adam and Seth, then to Abraham and to modern day. It all lines up so that the Second Coming will be happening soon.
   2. Adam + Eve — This one is very hard for me to get past because the proof is indisputable: human life did not begin 6,000 years ago by two human beings. There was physical death long before it was introduced by the partaking of the forbidden fruit. It is fact. To deny it would be like denying that the Earth is round or orbits the Sun. So is this an allegory? Well Joseph Smith down to current general authorities have taught that this is LITERAL. The temple clearly emphasizes this. This is something BIG to get wrong. Considering Joseph Smith taught that it happened in the garden of Eden which was in Missouri.
   3. Noah’s Ark — This has to be literal as it is in the Book of Mormon as a fact. It’s also been “revealed” to have been a literal, global flood that covered the earth and cleansed the earth of all inhabitants. We also have doctrine in our church that says modern day revelation has confirmed this fact. But, this “story” is largely based on the Babylonian tale “The Epic of Gilgamesh.” It was recorded before the Hebrew Bible recorded the tale of Noah. The stories are earily similar and there are so many throughout other cultures of a great flood. Maybe that makes it more likely? Or maybe it was just a prevailing thought in that time period. Either way, scientific evidence knows that Noah’s Ark never happened because a huge flood never happened. And ask yourself, how in the world would they get all the animals on a boat? Is this really realistic?
   4. Tower of Babel — This is the genesis of the Jaredites. The Lord was confounding the language of the people, so the Brother of Jared goes and asks that they are spared. Eventually they are led to the Americas (which has a host of other problems). But, this story has to be literal because that’s exactly what’s happening in the Jaredite civilization to lead them to cross the ocean. But language evolved over tens of thousands of years and had nothing to do with a tower in around 2500 BC.
   5. Evolution — This fact goes along with Adam and Eve. Modern day prophets have disavowed this fact. In fact, Joseph Fielding Smit said “If evolution is true, the church is false” in Doctrines of Salvation, which was written while he was the prophet.

​

1. Sexual Assault Cover Ups - This one is pretty self explanatory. There are hundreds of occasions and the most recent ones in the news are pretty disgusting. The fact that the Church didn’t report, and had systems in place to protect itself rather than the victims, makes me sick.
   
2. First Vision Accounts - In many Church media films and the way I was taught at a young age, Joseph had the first vision and then was mocked by the people of Palmyra for believing in visions. I had not idea that this was not the case. In fact, Joseph never wrote anything down until 1832. The accounts from 1832, 1835, 1838, and 1842 paint a picture of someone who was expanding, molding, and letting this vision evolve. The reasons why he went out to pray in the trees changes. First, it’s to receive a remission of his sins. He also says in that account that he’s already concluded that the church’s of his day are fallen. Then it evolves. He also says the Lord appears. Then it’s angels. Then it’s the Lord and His Father. He mentions that it had never entered his heart that they were all wrong in the Canonized JSH we have in the Pearl of Great Price. But, then he says he already knew they were wrong in earlier versions? In fact, Asa Wild and Norris Stearns have visions in 1815 and 1823 in the same area as Joseph Smith and the verbiage used is similar. Norris Stearns says, “At length, as I lay apparently upon the brink of eternal woe, seeing nothing but death before me, suddenly there came a sweet flow of the love of God to my soul, which gradually increased. At the same time, there appeared a small gleam of light in the room, above the brightness of the sun, then at his meridian, which grew brighter and brighter: As this light and love increased, my sins began to separate, and the Mountain [of sin] removed towards the east. At length, being in an ecstasy of joy, I turned to the other side of the bed, (whether in the body or out I cannot tell, God knoweth) there I saw two spirits, which I knew at the first sight. But if I had the tongue of an Angel I could not describe their glory, for they brought the joys of heaven with them. One was God, my Maker, almost in bodily shape like a man. His face was, as it were a flame of Fire, and his body, as it had been a Pillar and a Cloud. In looking steadfastly to discern features, I could see none, but a small glimpse would appear in some other place. Below him stood Jesus Christ my Redeemer, in perfect shape like a man-His face was not ablaze, but had the countenance of fire, being bright and shining. His Father’s will appeared to be his! All was condescension, peace, and love!”
   

Ultimately, all of these issues paint a picture, right? The character flaws and mistranslations of Joseph Smith, along with the setting in which he was raised all take away from his prophetic ability. There are more issues that I haven’t even touched on. LGBT issues, the treatment of women, the kinderhook plates, etc. There are more issues touched on in the CES Letter. But, these are things that stick in my mind when I try to imagine believing the Church is true again.
I believe Joseph Smith started writing the Book of Mormon to make money. Then, when it got close to publishing, he decided to start a religion. With the help of Sidney Rigdon, the Church grew and he introduced different aspects of "the Restoration" and eventually the power went to his head.
Being "prophet" brought him three things key for cult leaders. Money. Sex. Power. He got his living taken care of and people built him a house. He had around 40 polygamous wives and preyed on underage girls. He was dubbed king of the world by the Council of the 50 and was Mayor of Nauvoo.
How can I conclude anything other than him being a cult leader? This barely even touches on Brigham and the subsequent prophets that made huge mistakes.

{THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE FOLLOWING: Existential dread, emotional moments, romance, and a singular phrase which could be seen as suggestive depending on how dirty your mind is. ;) }
(Any sentences or phrases wrapped with brackets "[ ]" are designated as inner monologue!)
Thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating this wonderful literary universe!
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Memory transcription subject: James Willik, Human Historian
Date [standardized human time]: July 15, 2165
“Umm. Sooo, isn’t the universe only around 14 billion years old?”
“You would be correct.” The scientist’s expression showed that he was as dumbfounded as I was. “I should add that the highest number that any of our new dating devices can go is to around 20 billion, it is entirely possible that the artifact could be even older than we can detect.”
[What the fuck.]
A shrill voice from my left shook me out of my stupor. I looked to my side to see Lemva standing out of her seat, her tail lashing angrily. “Is this some elaborate joke? That isn’t possible. What you’re saying isn’t possible.” President Zhao began to speak. “I am fully aware how frankly nonsensical this is sounding, but this is serious and we need to approach this with an open mind. The Federation rated this item as a danger to the entire galaxy for a reason. We have no idea what we’re dealing with here and with something that could pose this much danger that is not acceptable.” Lemva suddenly spat with a ferocity I haven’t heard in a long time. Her anger frightened me not just because of her abnormal behavior and proximity, but also because of the recipient of her anger.
“You are aware that what you’re saying undermines everything we know about existence, right? Are you aware of that? Do you have any idea how INSANE this is sounding? You’re telling us, US, a couple of unqualified nobody misfit historians, that we’re somehow prophesied by this magical indestructible artifact that existed before time to do… something? AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT SOMETHING IS?! You just expect us to take this sitting down? Uh-uh, no, I’m not accepting this.” I tapped the table gently to get her attention, she snapped one of her orange eyes at me in response, I could barely get out what I was going to say in fear of her. “Maybe we shouldn’t yell at President Zhao?” I squeaked my suggestion at her. She just smoldered at me.
Lemva quickly pushed her chair backward and power-walked through the doors of the conference room, the force from her slamming the door rattled its hinges. I sometimes forget how strong she is, perks of evolving on such a high gravity planet I suppose. I glance at my remaining two partners and they are just as shaken as me. We all slowly look back at Zhao in fear of his response to Lemva’s attitude. Zhao still looked calm, so that’s good, but his posture indicated exhaustion.
“You three can leave for now, I’ll schedule another meeting for tomorrow once she’s settled down. If you could talk to her, that would be greatly appreciated.” Zhao started to rise from his seat but paused momentarily. “Oh I forgot to mention, you’ve been granted access to the guest residence wing. Lars, hand them their cards please.” A large man walked around and passed us our cards, handing me a second one presumably for Lemva. “The suite’s code on the tram is S29. You’re dismissed.”
Cayek, Tassak, and I quickly hurried out of the room to catch up with the furious venlil. Thankfully she hadn’t gone far, and was just waiting at the tram. We approached her quietly, none of us having the courage to start a conversation. She barely acknowledged us as we drew closer. I steeled myself to initiate contact but to my surprise she decided to do it first. “We’re leaving. Fuck this, they expect us to just accept that everything we know is wrong? They can take their invitations and shove them up their asses.” I gathered the courage to respond to her.
“I’ve never seen you this angry before. Talk to me.” She sighed, seeming to deflate as she did. Most of her anger melted off of her and left defeat in its place. “I need some time, I don’t have the energy right now.” “Alright, that’s ok. Before we left the conference room, we were handed keycards to the suite. Zhao said that we could stay there for a while.
Lemva looked up at my face with an eye. The happy glint she usually carried in her eyes was replaced with a dull feeling of hopelessness. “Okay.” I gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She answered my request to hug her before I had even asked. She buried the side of her head into my chest. We sat there for a few seconds, and it felt good, but all good things had to come to an end eventually. I silently guided her into the tram, Cayek and Tassak following close behind. The doors closed and I typed in the code for our suite, S29. The tram took off and winded through a maze of hidden tunnels before arriving at our destination.
Exiting the tram, we came to a closed set of heavy fake wooden doors with a keycard reader to the side. I swiped my card and the hidden locks on the doors clicked several times, before the doors swung open. [Wow. This is a really nice room.]
I guided Lemva onto a nearby sofa and marched into the gargantuan kitchen provided to us in order to prepare some coffee for her. As I waited for the coffee machine to finish, I saw Cayek and Tassak exploring their new surroundings. Cayek walked around and admired the luxurious artistry that permeated the space, while Tassak… Tassak poked at various objects as if she had never seen them before. She reminded me of a curious child. She accidentally tore a hole in a chair with her claw before hastily trying to hide the damage with a very obviously out of place pillow.
The coffee machine sputtered the last few drops of liquid ambrosia into Lemva’s mug and I hurried over to where she was sitting. I placed the warm cup into her paws and sat beside her. For several minutes we watched some TV on the large screen across from us. Lemva leaned more into my shoulder the longer we sat there. Tassak and Cayek had gone to their rooms by now. After watching 8 episodes of the ninety-seventh season of The Simpsons, she had calmed down.
I looked down at her. “Are you ready to talk now?” She nodded. “Mhm.” “Ok, do you wanna tell me why you got so angry during the conference?” She frowned slightly. “Everything they were saying… the artifact, I just…” She stopped for a moment to gather her words. “If what they said was true, and the artifact is from before the universe, and it depicts us… that implies so much. If what they said is true, then whoever made the artifact could see the future. If they could see the future, that means fate exists. If fate exists, then that means that everything I’ve ever done, everything that we’ve ever done, was meaningless. I mean, all my struggles, all my successes, for no reason.” She looked up at me and I could tell she could see my confusion.
“If you were playing a game, and every action you took did absolutely nothing to change the end result, but the whole time you thought that they did, wouldn’t it hurt to realize in the middle of a round that your input is entirely meaningless and changes nothing? But then, if you look at it another way, there’s the idea that you’re not even really alive, that you’re just a machine going through the motions. The idea that everything you were, are, and will be, every action you take, every thought you think, every emotion you feel is just a set of directions and ideas set to play out for the rest of eternity, that you’re just a couple words on a page to be read…”
I had no idea how to respond to that. I was never all too good at imagining such high-brow philosophical concepts, and I’ve always been even worse at handling the emotions of others, so wrap the two up into a depressing little veggie wrap and you’ve got me stumped. I did the only thing I could think to do at that moment. I wrapped my arms around her and placed my chin on her forehead. She snuggled into my body. I hadn’t felt this much comfort for a long, long time.
“Y’know… after I dropped contact those few years ago, I always wanted to send you a message, tell you I miss you, tell you why I stopped contacting, those sorts of things. But I never did. Because I was afraid.” I lifted my chin off Lemva’s head and she looked up at my face. I stared down back at her. “What were you afraid of?” She asked me in a soft voice. “Lots of things. I was afraid of explaining what happened, the “incident” was too recent to talk about. I was afraid that you’d hate me for disappearing, and the fear only got worse the longer time went. But mostly…” I inhaled sharply as I prepared myself. “I was afraid you’d betray me.” Lemva’s eyes held a puzzled and pained expression.
“I didn’t tell you who killed my parents, only that someone did. Soon after I was born, my father went into the venlil exchange program and met a venlil named Draton. They became friends almost immediately, or at least, Draton pretended to become friends.” Malice filled my voice as I talked about the scum who murdered my family. “I loved him growing up, almost as much as my parents, for a while he was like, my third favorite person in the world. He was like an uncle to me and a sibling to my parents.” I gulped and looked away. “Hopefully it should be obvious what I’m saying he did.” I took a shuddering breath and looked deep into Lemva’s eyes. “I was terrified that another loved one would turn out to be a monster. I was terrified that you would turn out to be a monster.”
I closed my eyes and mustered all the courage I could manage and called upon every deity from every religion I could remember or had even heard of in passing. I opened my eyes and placed my hands gently on the sides of Lemva’s head. She didn’t resist. “Alright… this is my greatest secret yet. I’ve been so scared to tell you but I can’t keep holding it in anymore, I need you to know.” Lemva held her breath.
“I love you Lemva, I’ve loved you since we first hung out in history club, I loved you when you cheered and hopped around at our graduation, I loved you when you talked so enthusiastically about your job. I always have, and I always will, love you.” I could feel my face burning as blood rushed through my cheeks. Lemva had it even worse though, her face was more orange than the fruit the color was named after. Her eyes were so wide I could barely see her irises anymore.
Tears formed in her eyes, but I could tell right away that these weren’t tears of sadness. The goofiest and cutest smile I had ever seen in my life quickly formed on her little face. She squeaked at me in delight. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.” She reached up, grabbed my hands, and squeezed them tight. I could feel her tail wrap around my back, a gentle force guided me closer to her. “You sure you wanna do this?”
“I’ve been around humans all my life, I know what a kiss is, dummy.” She whispered amusedly. We closed our eyes and embraced for the first time. All my worries, fears, and doubts melted away and drained off of my mind like meltwater off a cliff as we sat there basking in each other’s warmth.
We separated our faces and stared at each other. The happy glint in her beautiful orange eyes had returned brighter than I had ever seen it before. We sat staring for what seemed like forever, I had forgotten that a world existed beyond this sofa. I looked up at an antique clock mounted on the wall and waited a moment as my implant translated the extraterrestrial time-keeping system into a familiar 12-hour format. 8PM. Almost as if in response to my realization of the time, a wave of exhaustion crashed into me like a rogue space freighter. I wanted so desperately to stay here cuddled with Lemva for the rest of my life, but alas, sleep deprivation is a cruel mistress.
“Lem, it’s 8pm, we gotta get some sleep if we’re gonna attend the conference tomorrow.” “Awww, a couple more minutes? Pleeeeeeeease?” “I know this is really comfy and I know you don’t wanna think about ‘the object’ but we’ve got to do it.” I could tell she was still uncomfortable thinking about the implication that even the mention of the artifact carried with it, and we still would need to talk that through, but for now at least, she wasn’t having an existential crisis.
We untangled ourselves, rose off the sofa, and headed toward our rooms. But Lemva suddenly halted in the middle of the hallway. I spun around to see why she stopped. She looked down at the ground and rubbed her paws together like she does when she’s nervous, her face was an almost neon orange, miraculously managing to be even more vibrant than before. She wore a bashful smile on her face. “Is something wrong?” “no… I was just wondering, could I sleep in your room for tonight?” “Sure. Why, is there something wrong?”
“No… there’s just… something I’ve been wanting to try…”
“Wha- oh.”
“Oh.”
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(I think I've got a hang of the reddit formatting now. However, advice and critiques of the way the story is told are still very welcome.)

So I posted a couple weeks ago about my coworkeex who made a comment about my clothes being too sexy, even though I was literally wearing harem pants (elephant pants), and y'all he's on his bullshit again.
In case I didn't say before, we are middle school teachers. On Wednesday, I couldn't find my eraser so I just used one of our cleaning rags to clean the board. I was given permission by the director to do this. Next thing I knew some of my students are coming to ask me if I used the rag, and I was like "yeah." And so they went and told my coworkeex. I was super confused as to why they asked, but whatever. Then the kids came back in and said "Profe X said you have to wash the rag." I was like "um, no. He is not my boss. Tell him he can do it himself." The thing is, had the kids asked me nicely or had he asked me nicely instead of trying to give me orders, I would have done it, but I'm not taking orders from some asshole on a power trip. Treat me with respect or you will get ignored.
So, yeah, the kids go tell him that I said I wasn't going to clean the damn rag, AND THEN HE COMES MARCHING INTO MY MOTHERFUCKIN CLASSROOM LIKE SOME KIND OF PIED PIPER WITH ALL OF THE 8TH GRADERS BEHIND HIM and he was like "you have to clean the rag." And I'm like (in my head, not out loud) "Oh? You needed an audience of pubescent children to come over here with you so you can look like a big dick boy? Pathetic." This isn't the first time he has acted like this in front of the kids to prove how manly he is.
He made a snarky comment, and I was just shook by how absurd the entire situation was so I just started laughing because WHAT THE FUCK??? What kind of grown ass man, ESPECIALLY A TEACHER, just rounds up the kids to watch him have a mini showdown? Like he really thought he was showing them how big and bad and powerful he was. I even heard him make a comment to one of the students making fun of me for not fully understanding his snarky comment (Spanish isn't my first language, so sometimes I miss things. In my opinion, it's fucked to laugh at someone for making a mistake in their second language, but go off king). I made it a point to not wash the rag, so I won, but I'm so angry that he did that in front of our students. I already struggle to get their respect, and this bitch ass man always criticizes me and says "they don't respect you because you are x, y, and z, and you do x, y, z." (then he lists off parts of my personality that I'm actually proud of, so that has made me cry before) but now I'm like ofc they don't think they have to respect me when a male figure that they look up to acts like this in front of them.
Regardless, I finally told my boss (who is also a good friend of mine) what's been going on. I told her I don't want him fired (even though she has offered), but I do want her to be aware just in case he keeps fucking around and wants to find out. But yeah, as the song says: Don't fuck your coworkers. Especially if they're a giant man baby with a diaper rash and no butt paste in sight.

Forgive me, I am going to rant and scream into the void while I deal with my guilt and frustration. I don't care if this gets taken down, burned or deleted. I NEED TO RANT AND SHOUT. I know I am a bootyhole for exploding. But her behavior lately made me lash out and I am not proud of it. I just need to get this out and I want her to see just how ducked up she is.
No she will never find this because 1. She hates reddit cuz it's all "Fake". 2. She doesn't like social media drama posts or readings - whatever people who read reddit drammas are called. Redditoperas!
This is the only Reddit thing I like and have ever joint or posted to.
Alright. Deep breath.
I Susan (29F) have a cousin Georgette (27F all names are changed) and I absolutely love her, she is practically my little sister, we grew up together and we literally live in the same area (I can walk to her apartment complex by walking through a shared public park) and we interact with eachother constantly. And she emotionally Dumps on me. CONSTNTLY.
She is the female embodiment of lost potential, entitled and lazy spoilt brat. She is smart but so very dumb and lazy. Now mind you she wasn't always like this. In fact when we were in highschool she was the complete opposite. Hardworking, determined, popular with people. It feels as if she peaked did a 180 and then came crashing down the second she turned 21 and had to deal with the real adult world.
This saturday while we were doing our usual dinner and fun night with our friend group which includes my husband Dansen (30M), my cousins Georgette and her older bother Jerry (32M), and two other dudes Kramer (30M) and Elliot (30M) (6 in total).
We all grew up together, went to the same schools and such and funny enough we all still live in the same neighborhood/area but in different appartment complexes and townhomes. That night we were at my Townhome. The men in our group were watching Seinfeld (this is important) and eating pizza, while Georgette and I got into the conversation of her weekly woes. She was complaining loudly and kept interrupting everytime I tried to speak.
Now mind you I am not a patient person, however with Georgette I usually bottle my opinions on her woes and keep my mouth shut, because 1. I don't want to offend her and 2. She is family. I'm not her mom to be telling her what to do, I know.
Despite the rant coming up, she is family, we've been through thick and thin, and I know I'm an arse for blowing up at her and ranting about her life. But something about this week, the stress, her attitude and I-don't-know-what-else-made-me-blow-up. Maybe I was overstimulated because it was loud and I was tired, maybe I just needed to unload on something, I don't know but this is what happened.
In the middle of Goergette complaining about how people look down on her, "the poor nerd" and "The little guy", her parents, her relationships, I snapped. It felt like a tea kettle building up steam until it shouts. So of course I shouted "Will you just Shut up?! I don't want to hear you complaining about your life right now, literally all the problems in your life are your own damn fault! You are just an incompetent loser of a child who thinks the world owes her something because "reasons!" First of all - "
I basically pointed out, complaint by complaint in a rant on how everything is her own fault. Forgive the paragraph of word vomit. The points here are her complaints and my thoughts on the matter, the things in parenthesis are things that I shouted in the middle of my ranting. Yes it was recorded. No I'm not sharing. I'm just writing what I said and screaming into a void.

1. She is sad and lonely because she's single after a 2 year relationship and she misses her ex, terribly. (First of all, that is YOUR fault. GIRL you literally broke up with your boyfriend because YOU, yes, YOU wanted to save face. Becase YOU are so insecure you thought his own sister was a random girl who was trying to "steal" him away from you. That "Oh he likes that ugly girl who is prettier than me, look at the way he hugs her" and "who does he think he is" and that he "looks down on me cuz I'm short and brown". He doesn't by the way, he was willing to stay with you despite all your faults, he genuinly liked you and you dumped him because you cant stand being wrong, but noooooo "he's so booooring. commitment is so boooring, i can't do anything wah wah. You kept being weird with your sister!" and now all of a sudden 2 weeks after breaking up, now that hes gone he's suuuuddenly the "lOvE oF mY LiFe" and the "oNe tHaT gOt aWay! I mEssEd Up sO bAd!! WAH!" baby girl, whose fault is that? You left him! That was your own Damn Fault!! Who the hell wants to date a girl let alone be in a relationship with someone that dumb?)
2. How no men will date her and how all men are trash. ( No one wants you because you are trash! Your attitude is trash! Your personality is trash! Men can't handle me because "I'm a 10", girl you aint a 10. You are an arrogant insecure egotistical maniac who thinks shes a 10 when in reality you're a 3 at best - You literally complain that no one wants you when you literally lie and shoot yourself in the foot. "It's because I'm a nerd!" No, it's because you are an ass, "If they don't like me at my best" is bull crap. They should love me for me, is bull crap, you are all the reasons why no one wants you and you always give way less than the other persons best. You are never at your best, your best is the worst possible thing. You complain to your partner "I'm extroverted I need attention and sunlight" but then when they want to take you out you whine that you wanna stay home and order take out. What the hell is your idea of a good time? Eating nachos in your underwear while watching Bridgerton? Whining about how other people are fake for posting their vacations on facebook? You want people to see that you are "successful" online but then bitch when people know that you are a actually a shut in with bad money. You tell people you are a teacher with a princeton diploma to impress them and then whenthat bites you in the ass, you are too embarrased to admit you are an in debt college dr out part time worker influencer wannabe who still lives with her Mommy and Daddy. So then you start blame to make yourself feel better. You feel entitled to everything because you blame everything. Blame, blame, blame. I can start a whole communist party parade with all the red flags you have. It's not like your the problem, it's not like you make your own problems, you are absolutely perfect and fine just the way you are! The world owes you something because you are Georgette Middlename NolastName. The perfect princess! You're not. You're just a spoilt brat who gets a scott free ride because your parents are too afraid to admit they are failures who didn't raise you right. You don't deserve the amount of praise people give you.)
3. How she can't lose weight even though she is "trying". No she is not trying, she weighs 375lbs and is gaining more weight. (Whos god damn fault is thaAAAAAAAAAT?? Not that there is anything wrong with being plus sized or overweight - Shit who am I to talk, I'm plus sized. Although my BMI - Which has been proven to be BS by the way says I'm "obese" I still make an effort to be healthy! I dont care if people think I'm fat, I like my size and my body. So does my husband. At least I'm not pretending to lose weight and be healthy while shoving a chocolate cake shake in my mouth! There is a huge difference between being body positive or health concious vs someone constantly saying "I'm going to acheive this goal" without actually taking any steps to acheive that goal and making the situation worse. It's like an alcoholic saying "I'm trying to quit drinking" while they are downing tequila shots. No - Girl you aint trying. Not even close. You've been paying for an LA Fitness gym membership for over a year and you never go because you are too tired, you want to play games or do a make up totorial that you never going to post. Working out makes you sweaty and uncomfortable and doesn't " actually help you lose weight, it's all in the food". COME ON. You don't even try to eat healthy because healthy food tastes yucky and you only like good tasting things like Burgerking. Really? You pay for a food subcription that you dont eat because it's too salty, too spicy or it doesn't taste good and then buy fastfood and then complain that you don't lose weight and how your stomach hurts? GEE I wonder WHY?! YOu have Gastrointeritis and you're eating BURGERKING???)
4. How she complains she has a dead end job and how she almost got fired for sleeping at her desk and how her boss is a jerk for daring to ask her to do her job ( Well DUH, IT'S YOUR JOB! How have you not been fired yet? Your Boss caught you sleeping on the JOB! It's bad enough you dont even do it well, you say it's dead end because you are too lazy to do anything else or put in an effort. You didn't even get that job yourself dude, I got you that job as a favor to your Mom. "Oh Susie, please get a spot at your job she needs it!" Sheesh! You didn't even have to do an interview, how does that even work? It's insane that I moved on and you've been doing the same Job stupid job for 5 freaking years. You went to college and flunked out because "I want to be an entrepreneur influencer" or whatever but havent done anything productive in ALL that time. You work as a Printer and mailroom lady at a public school PART TIME. It is NOT that hard! you literally spend hours on your phone and watch netflix all day! YOU GET PAID TO SIT ON YOUR BUTT! AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING?! What is wrong with you? You literally get the summer off and you call in sick for the stupidest reasons! You literally have time to get platnum on overwatch but cant take classes or get a certificate to get a better job because it's too hard, you're tire and you have no time? Really? Maybe if you didn't play Leage until 3 in the god damn morning you wouldn't be so tired all day and appreciate how spoiled, privalaged and ungreatful you are! I would kill to have the amount of support and time you have!).
5. How she doesn't have money. ( YOU complain that you dont have the money to do any fun stuff, fix your car and pay "rent" which you never pay because NEWSFLASH you live with your mom. BUT you spend 300 dollars to do your NAILS and you're broke? You are constantly buying 50 dollar "brand name " make up and clothes for your failing influencer streams and posts, "I'm soooooo broke!!!" You buy 20 dollar character skins on Overwatch for characters you dont even play. You spend 250 a week on take out and because even though you know how to cook and pay for a food subcription, all that food tastes yucky or you don't want to use your moms kitchen cuz she complains when you dont clean up. And you have the audacity to complain? To ask me to buy you stuff and spot you? Like seriously? Aren't you "saving" to move out? You contstantly tell us and brag about how you're moving out and going to be a successful small business owner, but then you spend a bajillion on stupid shit. I know you're getting that money from somewhere and you are in debt. But hot cock on a rock, you are financially and literally irresponsible and you can't see it because either you are an idiot or you know it and think it will just go away. It wont.)
6. How the button on her shorts broke and how dumb it is that she spent so much money on a "BRAND" name item only for the button to break because it is cheaply made. (BRUH YOU BOUGHT IT OFF SHEIN!!! That crap aint Chanel! That stuff isn't Gucci or some other stupid bougee brand! No wonder it sucks and comes apart after two washes! The only reason you bought it is because some rando told you to buy it on TikTok and "iT wAs A DeAl!!" You get that crap a size too small and then are surprised when the seams rip! Gee! I wonder why miss "I'm working out!" )
7. How her Instagram/TikTok and Twitch have barely any views and her Influencer life style is not working out. (BRUH you don't post anything of value, it's a saturated market and when you do post, you don't make an effort to edit or even post or stream at a time that people are willing to watch you. you play obscure games that no one knows about or games that are overplayed by better streamers and influencers. You do make up tutorials, without actually knowing or researching explaining what you are doing or putting on your face. No wonder no one watches you. You obviously arent even trying. You are not going to go viral or make it up there if you are not willing to actually try to do something of value. People are not going to just watch you because you are a girl and have tits.)
8. Her parents being unsupportive. (Your Parents aren't supportive? HOW? you're 27 and living with your parents. Those two idiots love the absolute shit out of you and you don't even know it. You get free housing. They paid for your college and they paid for your car. You don't even pay utilities. They pay for your phone. How are they not supporting you? They even brag about how "our princess is an influencer" and act so proud when you can't keep any followers, keep a man, pass a class or get a decent job. How are they not supporting you?)
9. How she is the victim in life and she is so unlucky. This was the last complaint that made me snap and start this whole tirade. ( You are all the things that are wrong with you and you cause all the problems in your life. You are the girl who peaked in highschool and just thought the rest of the world would cater to you. I don't know how, but your ass is going to be handed to you one day and I'm not going to be there to help you. You have no one to blame but yourself. You are extremely lucky and you don't even know it. I'm sorry for yelling at you and saying all this shit but I am so tired of listening to you complain and act as if nothing in your life has ever been your fault. You are the problem. And I don't think I can handle being around you right now.)

Now before I continue, let me just say. I have nothing against Jason Alexander. Hes a great actor who is severely underrated but I absolutely hate his character from that show. From the whining to the tantrums and relationship problems. I despise George Constanza.
And Georgette is exactly like him and HOLY ITALIAN CANOLI. I can only take so much. In mannerisms, attitude, and sircumstance. She is the female George. Maybe that's why I blew up like that. Who knows. Anyway....
Then it happened.
This entire ordeal felt like watching a car crash -you know how everything will end up, but you cant do anything but watch as the disaster happens and either cringe or look in awe.
At the end of my rant, when the room is quiet and all you can hear is the TV and the sitcom laughter, my Cousin, Georgettes older brother Jerry -bless his stupid heart- suddenly started laughing and said that I was right about it all, Georgette created her own problems and always had an excuse FOR EVERYTHING, of course, we all start arguing. She gives more excuses. We argue some more. There is name calling. And we start taking sides, in the middle of our arguing Georgette screams, Loud and says... "NO NO! Its not my fault! I'm the victem here!! You're just being mean!! ... I'm getting upset!! AHHH!!!" while flailing her arms and stomping her feet like a toddler. And of course there was a pause.
In that second the mentioned character from the show, which was still playing on the TV, shouted loudly "George is getting upset!! AHHHHH!!!" que the bass playing.
Everyone lost it.
The boys of course all started laughing, I started laughing. Georgette not amused starts shouting how it's not funny. "I'm the victem here!" Starts crying and tells us all to "Go to hell." Then runs out the door, fumbles, trips, gets up and shuffles way towards the park and to her Parents apartment gesticulating and yelling the entire way.
I feel bad, but at the same time it feels good to have let all that out.
Even now I feel releif writing this out. I don't care. I'm so done with this life.
Her mom, Estelle, of couse called me and I let everything out on her too - In the end she got quiet and just hung up.
I feel like Quagmire at the end of his "why I don't like you Brian" speech. I said my peace. I know I'm an ass and I think I'm ok with not dealing with my cousin any more.
I don't think I've even cared about her.
I don't think I even want to see her right now. Or ever.
I love her. But do I actually love her or is it because she's always been here and shes family? Have I always been carrying this? I don't know. Maybe I want people to know how I really feel and am hoping this reaches her in some way as a cathartic fuck you. I don't know. I'll talk to a therapist about that on Monday.
Babydoll, if you see this. Get your Shit Together. I'm done. I don't regret doing this. I hope you get better and succeed. I really do. But I Love you and I hate you. I hate that you do nothing to improve yourself and I hate that I'm your Emotional Support Animal. I'm not responsible for you. And it's not my fault that you feel shitty. We may be family, but that doesn't give you the right to make me feel shitty and for your to invide my home with your constant complaining. I'm not a sith. I can't live with negativity and darkness for all my life. You need to be better. And I hope one day we both can be better. But for now. Good Bye.
I'm Done.
If you've made it this far or if this still exists by the time anyone gets to this paragraph, congratulations for letting me scream into the reddit void for 300 hours.
Peace.

His name was Huganiel-Fantastic Sebastien James (name). He was a black, domestic short hair who was rusty in the sun. He was peculiar and so full of life until the last day. He loved Garrus Vakarian from Mass Effect and would sit as close to the screen when he came on and sleep all the time on the Garrus body pillow I had. I named him after Hugo Baskervilles, Sebastien Moran and James Moriarty from Sherlock because his actual name - Buddy - sucked ass.
He was so small. He was neutered at 4 months and they fucked it up and lobbed the whole thing off on accident. When we got him, I was only like.. 13. Maybe 12 and I didnt have a cat in years. I was depressed, planning to end it all and my mom got asked to watch a cat for a month while they moved. They called to get him after two years and thousands in vet bills. I could keep Hugo or get what I always wanted - a maine coon. I chose Hugo. He was my kitty, my guy.
He hated me at first. He had been adopted, left alone for months in apartments, returned to shelters... I went on a trip in December, just weeks after we met, and when I came back he meowed so loud it was like singing. He was my buddy, my best friend, I did everything for him. I would bring home food from the cafeteria to share with him because we couldn't always get food. I was so scared of insects I was agoraphobic and he ate spiders and cockroaches for me.
He would sit in my lap, he would purr for me, he would let me pick him up, I would bring him to bed and when I wouldn't let myself sleep, he would walk me to bed. I brought him everywhere, I have over a thousand photos over four phones. When I didnt have a phone, I drew him. I could squeeze his primordial oouch, I could trim his nails, I could pet his legs.
I moved out in December 31st and I took him with me. He was 14 then and will always be 14. He died June first, while I was in Dollywood. He just passed of natural causes and was peaceful and found in good time by our pet sitter. I didn't always treat him well, I struggled with his litter and I couldn't always feed him.
I dont dream anymore and I miss him. I want to dream and be with him, hear his purr, feel his body settle onto the bed between me and my wife. I got mad at him in the last week I was with him because he kept trying to sit on me while I was rolling around. I didn't mean it, baby boy. I really didn't. I didn't see I love you when I left because I thought he'd be there. I never took anything for granted except him. I really thought he would live forever.
I really thought he was my son and I am beyond grief now. I feel it so intensely I feel like I'm going to be this forever. I miss you kitty boy. I love you and I miss you. I hope we see each other again and we'll be buried together baby boy.

Long post, non native english, mobile
I've loved my father dearly all my life. He divorced my mom when I was around 10 and left me with her. I never felt anything bad towards him due to that, I actually envied him. Mom was stay at home mom, due to disability also. My mom is a good person, but heavily mentally ill. She really has problems, she went to mental hospitals a bunch of times when I was a toddler and a kid, she experienced nasty side effects from heavy medications. She couldn't quite control herself, but loved me for real, so I suffered some unintentional emotional abuse, as I call it. Unhealthy behaviors, and even though she loves me with her whole heart, I had huge resentment, almost hatred, mixed with love and guilt. Anyway, I haven't talked to her in years, wishing her the best life but far away from me. Should have got me a therapist mom! I got one half a year ago and now I actually enjoy talking to her several times a week.
So, when I was around 14, my paternal grandma (now ~75f) got me to live with her (no custody battle, just an agreement). She is my most important person. She was watching me half of the time anyway through all my life. Sad to say, she was more of a mom to me then a real mom always. I live with her still and do not plan to leave her ever. She has poor health now unfortunately, she don't think she'll live another 2 years.
My father had another daughter, my sis T, in his new relationship (5f). He and another wife were together for 11 years but got divorced MONTH after sister was born, due to my father prioritizing himself. Imaging "wife, you are tired after full day and want me to watch a baby this evening? Sorry, I gotta run my daily 5k, ciao". I don't know for sure, but he can also yell if pressured, so I would divorce him to. Also, he was the one wanting a child.
I've always supported his ex wife, grandma too understood situation very well, but cut ties with her later for unimportant reasons. Now for reasons unknown to me communication between my dad and his ex is very tense, non-existent almost (it was better at some point I think). My sis spend every weekend with us (me father grandma grandpa). Somehow I became the only person speaking to dad ex, about T mostly. That's when I realized how low their communication is actually. I was saying "you know, how T always does this?" and her mom was like "no, she almost never does this in my place" and such.
So, I'm in a home with a little kid, my grandma is not healthy but always does something in a garden or something, grandpa always helps her. And dad... Not watches her to most of the time. And I'm the one communicating with her mom sometimes about important stuff. So months ago I found myself in unhappy position, where I was forced to watch my lovely sis. Dad would just tell me I don't have to, she can entartain herself alone. Yes, but not that much hours! She want attention and playtime.
To be clear, dad is not completely not paying attention, he walkes with her up to 1.5h a day, changes her clothes, lays to bed, manage her toys and things, wipes her. But he doesn't feed her, cannot play, and in the house mostly doing his own thing during the day. That's why I didn't even realize he lacks as a parent for a long time, he does important things by himself. But he doesn't take care for her for like 6 houst a day, and sometimes he loses his temper and bails out of situations.
Her mom is actually the one who helped me realize that and helped me set some boundaries (and talked to my dad too, pretty harshly I guess). My therapist helped too, I see her rarely. But like... Situation didn't change much, I stopped stressing.
And to complete the picture few words about my dear grandma: she can not accept help if her life depends on it. She doesn't have that skill. She always stress the f out of herself cause other person is doing all wrong and slow. She is quick to take responsibility. But her health declined a lot recently (doctors watch her regularly), and she is still adamant to spend all her day in garden just to lay in bed all next dat. She only stops when she feel absolutely awful, stubborn as hell.
So what motivated me to write this post. Today is Saturday, evening, grandma feels bad (as always honestly), but she pulls wonderful dinner for us (she actually couldn't enjoy it herself, she went to bed. Nobody is pressuring her, I swear, everybody only says her to chill all the time). When she was almost done, already feeling very bad, she went to a garden to got greens. She said to grandpa "I need greens, but I can't, I couldn't go that far", he said "I can, let me do it", I overheard and said "I can do it". She brushed him off, said to me I always bring way too little, and went herself. I went after her to help, my sis was playing outside and tried to help. Anyway, she sat in dirt a little, we laughed it off, I couldn't see any sticking to her butt. Grandma was like "we need to wash now, lemme..." but since she was feeling BAD already I cut her and said that's not our problem, that's dads problem.
We went inside, I told dad. He was tired today all day, in that condition his temper is so short almost inexistent, he gets irritated a second he is touched. I know the feeling very well, I got it from him. So I never have a problem feeling that mood of his, "do not disturb" one, since I have it exactly the same. But I know that doesn't mean I now have to deal with everything myself, it's still his responsibility, it is his daughter weekend. So when I told him to check if her pants are dirty he said "no do it yourself", I was like "what do you mean yourself, whose daughter it is", he declined to do crap again, I said "you bring her!", he said something declining again. Anyway I went inspect T's clothes myself, it had a few small insignificant wet spots, I said good enough and didn't do anything.
So just a little later dad was looking after T (his decline was an immediate reaction, out of irritation, not a continuous decision, so even tired he of course didn't abandon her), she changed clothes. He asked her to go upstairs for her inside pants, she declined, he said "may be L(me) will go get it" (not in a manipulative way, he just didn't want to go). I said "no, dOnT tOucH mE". I tried to repeat his phrase with which he declined the first time. So, he just sinhed quietly and went.
My problem is, after recently me noticing he does mess up in his caring for T, and a little speaking with T's mom (she tried her best to not badmouth him to me, I tried my best to not push for information, but some things she said stuck with me), I felt like rose tinted glasses were lifted from me. I absolutely despise how he handles his temper with his strong "no". Idk, he had so sort of therapy, is that why he states his wishes like this? I know in his first marriage with my mom he couldn't really do it, cause she would got hurt, he painfully avoided confrontation and put up with her. But he really could use some "meh... What happened? Can you do it please? One second then..."
And also, today I had this thought. I have naver actually thought about it ever. I don't remember much from childhood (not trauma, just bad memory), but I dont remember him taking me from my mom by himself, on weekends. My grandma did, all the time. I now know he was already with his second wife (T's mom), and I've just remembered she doesn't think children should meet parents new spouses. I met her years later. I think I'm hurt now, cause I suddenly realized, I could honestly expect more from my dad (and could have expected). I love him a lot, we go along really well, and those are really hard feelings for me. I suddenly feel almost betrayed after all these years of pure love and acceptance. Help pls

Hello
I have been on HRT for 3 years. I am after SRS surgery and after tracheal surgery and after vocal cord surgery.
​
I think there are people here who could help me. In other groups, the pause is cloudy... I am 30 years old.
​
So how do you get started.
My hormonal journey began on 20/05/2020, 27 years old. It was a great euphoria.
Please read even and not just the beginning...
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My medication for the first month - Cypro 25mg a day and an Estradiol tablet 2mg a day.
After a month, the dose was increased to - Cypro 50mg and 2x2mg Estradiol. For a full 5 months.
My body was already very feminine before HRT, also my face 70 feminine/30 masculine. Before HRT my testosterone was only 7nmol/l. And my estradiol none - 0.0055684252 pmol/l.
My weight was 80kg. My body was improving, breast growth, fat redistribution, lots of things. I was really happy but I had big mood swings, the only problem. Everything worked great.
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My values
Estradiol - 130 pmol/l
Testosterone - 0.59 nmol/l
SHBG - 67.7 nmol/l
TSH - 1.725 mIU/l
Free testosterone - 1%
FSH - 0.7 IU/l
LH - 0.0 IU/l
Greater Prolactin - 669.8 mIU/l
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My Estradiol low. I was given Oestrogel. 2 months after.
Estradiol - 240 pmol/l
Testosterone - 0.78 nmol/l
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My levels are higher yet still low but my moods have improved.
But at that time it was not enough for me, you probably all know that :)
Sometimes a little is better than a lot...
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OK :) I received an injection - Estradiol valerate
My setup - Cypro 50mg and Valerate 5mg once every 8 days.
The beginning was a strange, strange transition. But my feminization continued. My moods disappeared. It was better but not for long. This journey lasted 12 months.
After 8 months my breasts shrunk from size B to size A. It wasn't very important to me. My jaw widened but not much and my cheekbones got bigger.
Another part has arrived - SRS. My surgery went well apart from a minor infection.
​
Then all hell broke loose. Mainly physical problems and then also psychological ones.
I didn't take any hormones for a week before the surgery and I didn't take any after the surgery either. No anti-androgens and hormones until a month after the operation because I couldn't sit and dose the injection. My spine wasn't working.
But even though I was taking Valerate, my condition only worsened over time.
​
After 7 months I found another doctor who took away my injections.
There was a lot of masculinization, but there was still time.
​
My values - Estradiol 530 pmol/l and Testosterone 1.37 nmol/l
My medications - Spironolactone 25mg daily, Estradiol tablets 2x2mg and Progesterone 100mg daily
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My condition was improving. The face did not but the breasts grew. This condition lasted for 2 months. Then came the great aggravation.
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Put back in - Cypro 25mg and Estradiol Valerate. I don't have any values from these exams. He was a doctor and half DIY.
Yes everything went well again but only for one month. The end again.
Next was - Cypro 25mg, tablets 2x2mg and Oestrogel
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4 months - values
High creatinine - 77 umol/l
Large prolactin - 809 mIU/l
Little AST - 0.13 ucat/l
Little ALP - 0.41 ucat/l
Borderline small TSH - 1.077 mIU/l
Estradiol - 583 pmol/l
Progesterone 2 nmol/l
DHEAS - 8.67 umol/l
Testosterone - 0.52 nmol/l
SHBG - 68.7 nmol/l
Free testosterone - 0.76%
Cortisol - 324 nmol/l
FSH - 0.3 IU/l
LH - 0.1 IU/l
ACTH - 4.63 pmol/l
DHT 0.20 nmol/l
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All other values are normal. All measured in two days.
I will describe my current situation.
My face - used to have a narrow jaw, now has a wide jaw like a square... Cheekbones massive, chin unchanged, enlarged huge nose (big holes), used to have big lips, now small lips, used to have no forehead, now has large eye ridges.
My hands are big and my fingers are thick, my feet are wide (size 43, now 46). My hips are half gone, butt gone, cellulite, my ankles and calves sore and big wide, my ribcage maybe bigger?.
I will remind you that my weight is still the same 80-90kg, no radical weight loss or fattening.
Half of my hair has fallen out, very thin and damaged, growing very slowly. Previously shoulder-length hair, now ear-length for 7 months?
My nails break a lot. Big pubic hair. Acne. Thick skin.
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It's not all like a princess in a fairy tale realm.
Breast? None, flat chested like an airport.
Now my biggest problem. Profuse sweating, night and day, over and over again. At home in peace, outside. And stink like a man in fitness.
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I do not know where the problem is. Perhaps acquired resistance to Estradiol? How can I find out? I tried to write it the best and my perfect hormone levels.
Now I am only on Oestrogel and Cypro. No Valerate, no pills, no progesterone. It's still the same and still worse.
The doctor doesn't help. can you help me Or am I doomed to die?
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Thank you

Some time ago, I made two posts with some of Percy's best feats. The first one can viewed here. And the second: here.
Now I know that Jason isn't the most liked character in the fandom, but I like him. So I wanted to scale him.
Contents: Strength, speed, reaction speed, skill, durability, actual powers, Tl;dscaling, closing segment.
​
He was able to throw a club hard enough to knock down a Venti. Even causing it to curve so that it would hit Dylan when he tried to doge:

Jason threw the club. It seemed useless with the winds so strong, but the club flew right at Dylan, even curving when he tried to dodge, and smacked in the head so hard he fell to his knees
The Lost Hero

He was able to deflect a spear hit from a giant:

Jason raised his javelin to block the giant's next strike-a big mistake. Don't fight force with force, a voice chided him-the wolf Lupa, who told him that long ago. He managed to deflect the spear, but it grazed his shoulder, and his arm went numb.
The Lost Hero

The same giant was able to cause the entire mountain to shake just by slamming the butt of said spear into the ground:

Before they could get very far, Enceladus slammed his spear against the ground. The entire mountain shook.
The Lost Hero

Moving onto House of Hades, we see him casually shatter a metal with a kick, firmly putting him into the superhuman category of strength. Not only that, but he managed to stagger and knocked a giant to his knees:

One last time Jason flew at [Clytius], kicking him in the chest, and the giant's breastplate shattered. Clytius staggered backward..He fell to his knees, and the demigods encircled him
House of Hades

He was able to cut through a statue made of metal with help from Piper:

Piper and Jason went to work on Hygeia. They slashed through the statue's knees
Blood of Olympus

We are now done with Jason it the strength department. Obviously, he lacks many feats in this department, especially compared to Percy, but he is definitely stronger than an average human.
Speed:
He was able to stab a giant:

[Jason] rolled away from the giant's first spear thrust and jabbed Enceladus in the ankle. Jason's javelin managed to pierce the thick dragon hide, and golden ichor-the blood of immortals-trickled down the giant's clawed foot.
The Lost Hero

This might not seem that impressive, but Jason was being slowed down by Gaea. The Giant was being helped by Gaea. Finally, the giant was predicting Jason's attacks:

Enceladus' spear missed him by a millimeter. Jason kept dodging, but the ground stuck to his feet. Gaea was getting stronger, and the giant was getting faster. Enceladus might be slow, but he was not dumb. He began anticipating Jason's moves, and Jason's attacks were only annoying him
The Lost Hero

We see this here again:

Enceladus let him approach, grinning with anticipation. At the last second, Jason faked a strike and rolled between the giant's legs. He came up quickly, thrusting with all his might, ready to stab the giant in the small of his back, but Enceladus anticipated the trick. He stepped aside with too much speed and agility for a giant, as if the earth were helping him move.
The Lost Hero

Reaction/ combat speed. This is where Jason really shines. As he has several impressive feats:
He was able to keep up with Lit. The same guy who was so good, he earned the name Reaper of Men:

Lit charged.
The guy was fast. He slashed and sliced, and Jason could barely dodge the strikes, but his mind went into a different mode-analyzing patterns, learning Lit's style, which was all offense, no defense.
The Lost Hero

He can react to giants:

Jason raised his javelin to block the giant's next strike-a big mistake. Don't fight force with force, a voice chided him-the wolf Lupa, who told him that long ago. He managed to deflect the spear, but it grazed his shoulder, and his arm went numb.
The Lost Hero

He scales to Percy in reaction speed and was able to amaze Piper:

[Piper] rolled to the edge of the road and looked back, dazed and horrified, as [Percy and Jason] crossed swords, gold against bronze. Sparks flew. Their blades blurred-strike and parry-and the pavement trembled. The first exchange only took a second, but Piper couldn't believe the speed of their sword fighting.
Mark of Athena

The same guy who I scaled to have reaction speed as fast as 10 milliseconds. And the average human reacts at 250 milliseconds.
He can react to lightning:

Jason called down another lightning strike, but Ephialtes caught it on his spear and deflected the blast, melting a life-size plastic cow. He slammed a stone column out of his way like a stack of building blocks. Percy tried to keep the lake churning. He didn’t want Otis rising to join this fight, but as Ephialtes closed the last few feet, Percy had to switch focus. Jason and he met the giant’s charge. They lunged around Ephialtes, stabbing and slashing in a blur of gold and bronze, but the giant parried every strike. “I will not yield!” Ephialtes roared. “You may have ruined my spectacle, but Gaea will still destroy your world!” Percy lashed out, slicing the giant’s spear in half. Ephialtes wasn’t even fazed. The giant swept low with the blunt end and knocked Percy off his feet. Percy landed hard on his sword arm, and Riptide clattered out of his grip. Mark of Athena

While technically not reacting to lighting, Percy fought a giant who could, so Ephialtes' reaction speed=Percy's. What I'm getting at here is Ephialtes can react to lightning. Percy can keep up with Ephialtes. So Percy=Ephialtes' reaction speed. Jason=Percy reaction speed. Therefore, Jason=Ephialtes' reaction speed.
Too much for you to follow, here:

Jason swung at the first spirit. His blade passed through it and the creature's smoky form disintegrated. The second spirit let loose a bolt of lightning, but Jason's blade absorbed the charge. Jason stepped in-one quick thrust, and the second storm spirit dissolved into gold powder
The Lost Hero

There you go.
He reacts to arrows:

This time Jason's senses were on high alert. He felt the air ripple as an arrow materialized, racing towards Nico's chest.
Jason intercepted it with his sword and deflected it sideways.
House of Hades

Now, Romans use a type of composite bow called a Sagittarii. Composite bows can shoot arrows as a speed of 250 to 370 feet per second (76 to 113 m/s).
Also keep in mind that he is nearsighted. Giving him even less time to react than normal:

"Oh, of course!" Asclepius said. "You're a bit nearsighted! Simple fix."
He opened the drawer, whipped out a prescription pad and an eyeglasses case. He scribbled something on the pad, then handed the glasses and the scrip to Jason.
Blood of Olympus

So all in all, he has some fast reaction speed. Well above human.
Next up, skill.
He can keep up with Lit, a man so deadly, he was named the Reaper of Men:

Lit charged.
The guy was fast. He slashed and sliced, and Jason could barely dodge the strikes, but his mind went into a different mode-analyzing patterns, learning Lit's style, which was all offense, no defense.
The Lost Hero

He did all of this:

"I slew the Trojan sea monster," Jason continued. "I toppled the black throne of Kronos, and destroyed the Titan Krios with my own hands. And now I'm going to destroy you, Porphyrion, and feed you to your own wolves."
The Lost Hero

He killed the Trojan sea monster and killed a Titan without a weapon.
Durability:
He is immune to, or at least, resistant to electricity:

Dylan's form flickered. "That was enough lightning to kill twenty men!"
The Lost Hero

He survived this:

Enceladus let him approach, grinning with anticipation. At the last second, Jason faked a strike and rolled between the giant's legs. He came up quickly, thrusting with all his might, ready to stab the giant in the small of his back, but Enceladus anticipated the trick. He stepped aside with too much speed and agility for a giant, as if the earth were helping him move. He swept his spear sideways and met Jason's javelin-and with a snap like a shotgun blast, the golden weapon shattered.
The explosion was hotter than the giant's breath, blinding Jason with golden light. The force knocked him off his feet and squeezed the breath out of him.
The Lost Hero

While this is an already impressive feat, we have this to make this even more impressive:

The javlin's destruction had released so much energy, it had blasted a perfect cone-shaped pit thirty feet deep, fusing the dirt and rock into a slick, glassy substance.
The lost Hero

He was uncut by plastic shrapnel:

Together, the giants picked up a fake mountain as big as Percy's New York apartment and hurled it at the demigods. Percy and Jason bolted. They dove into the nearest trench and the mountain shattered above them, spraying them with plastic shrapnel.
Mark of Athena

He can tank a hit from a giant trident, although he was in a lot of pain:

Jason managed to avoid the prongs of the trident again, but the giant swung the other end around and smacked him in the chest.
Jason reeled back, stunned and in pain. Polybotes came in for the kill. Just before the trident would have perforated him, Jason's ventus acted on its own. It spiraled sideways, whisking Jason thirty feet across the courtyard.

Powers. This is another place he is impressive in. He has several abilities he can call on in a clutch:
He can correct aim of things he throws:

Jason threw the club. It seemed useless with the winds so strong, but the club flew right at Dylan, even curving when he tried to dodge, and smacked in the head so hard he fell to his knees
The Lost Hero

He can control air pressure:

[Jason] felt a tugging sensation in his gut, and the air pressure dropped so rapidly his ears popped.
The Lost Hero

He can summon Tempest, a horse made of wind and electricity:

Suddenly the air turned cold. Piper's ears popped. About fifty yards away, a miniature cyclone three stories tall tore across the tops of the sunflowers like a scene from The Wizard of Oz. It touched down on the road next to Jason and took the form of a horse-a misty steed with lightning flickering through its body
Mark of Athena

Jason and Percy working together can create a massive storm:

On the deck of the Argo II, Percy and Jason stood together, their swords crossed. Annabeth got a tingle down her spine as she realized the boys were working together as one, summoning the sky and the sea to do their bidding. Water and wind churned together. Waves heaved against the ramparts and lightning flashed. Giant eagles were knocked out of the sky. Wreckage of the flying chariot burned in the water, and Coach Hedge swung a mounted crossbow, taking potshots at the Roman birds as the flew overhead.
The Mark of Athena

Jason can fly and carry people with him:

Jason summoned the wind to carry him and Piper to shore
Mark of Athena

He can cause water to boil and temporarily blind Piper:

BOOM! Lightning stirred the water into a boiling cauldron, steaming and hissing with electricity. Piper blinked the yellow spots out her eyes as the god Achelous wailed and dissolved under beneath the surface
Mark of Athena

He can use wind offensively:

The demigods rolled to either side, and Jason summoned the wind, using the giant's own momentum to shove him into the water
Mark of Athena

He can get angry enough to generate electricity:

the air turned electric-literally, as Jason started throwing off sparks.
Mark of Athena

He can melt iron and cause gold to steam:

Just then, thunder boomed overhead. Lightning flashed, and the bars on the nearest window burst into sizzling, melted stubs of iron.
Jason flew in like Peter Pan, electricity sparking around him and his gold sword steaming.
House of Hades

Jason has the ability to track people who use winds as a method of transport so things like air spirits can't run from him:

Jason couldn't exactly see him, but he'd had enough experience controlling the wind that he could track the angel's path-a warm wisp of red and gold zipping across the street..
House of Hades

He can control the four winds and even construct this out of wind:

[Jason] thrust out his hand. A swirl of dust shot toward the nearest horse. A lasso-a rope of wind, more tightly wound than any tornado-wrapped around the horse's neck. ..In less than a minute he had tethered all four venti. He reined them in, still whining and bucking, but they couldn't break Jason's rope. It felt like flying four kites in a strong wind-hard, yes, but not impossible.
House of Hades

He uses wind defensively:

Jason summoned gusts of wind to last aside javelins and arrows. He deflected a vial of Greek fire right up the throat of a gryphon, which burst into flames and spiraled into the pit.
House of Hades

He can carry others without having to fly himself:

Three dead Romans rose into the air and flew across the chasm. Then three more joined them. Finally Jason flew himself across and his squad began cutting through some very surprised-looking telkhines
House of Hades

He can use a sword or a javelin:

Jason slashed his gladius in a wide arc, vaporizing the nearest suitors; then he vaulted onto the table and jumped over Antinous' head. In midair he willed his bade to extend into a javelin-a trick he'd never tried with this sword-but somehow he knew it would work.
Blood of Olympus

He once more demonstrates his ability to create objects from air and now he can encase himself in air armor:

[Jason] raised his arm and summoned a lasso of wind... He lashed out with his wind rope, searching for strongest, most ornery *ventus in the storm.
He lassoed a nasty patch of storm cloud and pulled it in. "You're serving me today."
Howling in protest, the ventus encircled him. The storm above the ship seemed to lessen just a bit, as if the other venti were thinking Oh, crud. That guy means business.
Jason levitated off the deck, encased in his own miniature tornado. Spinning like a corkscrew, he plunged into the water.

Jason is capable of summoning weird lightning stuff at the bottom of the ocean. Also worth noting it is still as deadly and didn't shock Percy who was also in the water next to him. On top of that, he can now separate the volts to attack multiple targets instead of just one:

But [Jason] couldn't think of a better option. He thrust up his sword. Immediately the blade glowed red-hot.
A diffuse cloud of yellow light billowed through the depths, like someone had poured liquid neon into the water. The light hit Jason's sword and splayed outward in ten separate tendrils, zapping the basiliks.
Blood of Olympus

He can carry a current throughout his body, holding it for latter:

With a deafening blast, a white-hot bolt arced from the sky, straight through Jason's body as he leaped, wreathed in lightning, at the giant king.
Jason fell on King Porphyrion with such force that the giant crumpled to his knees-blasted with lightning and stabbed in the neck with a golden gladius.

He can blast a 30 foot giant off a clif:

Porphyrion lashed out wildly with his spear, but Jason cut it in half with his gladius. He charged in, jabbing his sword through the giant's breastplate, then summoned the winds and blasted Porphyrion off the edge of the cliff.
Blood of Olympus

Tl;dr and scaling: So Jason is powerful. He is definitely superhuman in al physical states. I am going to say, city level durability. His power level is at mountain level.
Closing segment: Honestly I think he could have been more powerful if we'd seen him in more books. Also I didn't use a Trials of Apollo feats as there I didn't find any. If you see any feats I missed let me know so I can scale them. So what did you think? Did this make you see Jason as more or less powerful than you originally thought? Who else would you like me to scale?
Respect Jason Grace, son of the sky god, Zeus!

I’ve always had problems where I thought a slight fishy smell was coming from my vagina. I decided to do a smell test and with clean hands I used a finger in between my inner lips and at the vaginal opening and come to find out there is no odor there but for some reason I smelt a little bit of the fishy smell on the longest part of my nail and that’s where my butt area is. So I decided to swipe my finger back and boom that is where the smell I’ve been complaining about it is coming from. I did not shower yet but it smells like a mixture of poop and slight ammonia.(Gross ik) any tips on how to get rid of this odor? Btw After I shower it doesn’t smell so idk what to do

1. Alexa Nikolas opened up in 2019 about Jamie Lynn Spears and other Zoey 101 cast members allegedly bullying her on the set of the teen show. Nikolas was notably written out of the show after Season 2.
2. Another celeb accused of bullying on set is Lea Michele. After guest star Samantha Marie Ware accused Michele of racist bullying involving “traumatic microaggressions," Amber Riley seemed to support the claims after posting a GIF of her sipping tea, and Alex Newell also took to social media to support Ware's claims. Heather Morris later revealed there was a "hush hush" atmosphere about Lea's "scary" on-set behavior.
3. John Leguizamo says costar Steven Seagal bullied him and others during Executive Decision, and claims he even physically assaulted Leguizamo during the first day of rehearsals.
4. David Yost, who memorably played the blue power ranger in the '90s Mighty Morphin Power Rangers series, says he was bullied so badly that he had to leave the show, shortly thereafter experiencing a nervous breakdown. Yost claimed the bullying — including being called anti-gay slurs like the f-slur — was incessant, and came from creators, producers, writers, and directors. "Basically, I just felt like I was continually being told I was not worthy of being where I am because I'm a gay person. And I'm not supposed to be an actor. And I'm not a superhero," he later said, revealing the bullying caused him to become suicidal.
5. Decades after the '80s sitcom Charles in Charge, star Scott Baio was accused of sexual harassment by two of his then-teenaged costars: Alexander Polinsky and Nicole Eggert.
6. Eggert accused Baio of molestation during her time on the show, which began when she was 14. The abuse allegedly continued until Eggert was 17, with Baio telling Eggert if she told anyone, the show would end and they would all be out of jobs. Baio has denied any inappropriate touching and says they had a onetime consensual encounter when Eggert was 18.
7. Jerry Lewis was accused of sexual harassment after his death. Karen Sharpe, who appeared with Lewis in The Disorderly Orderly, said she was forced to model her wardrobe for Lewis. “He grabbed me. He began to fondle me. He unzipped his pants," Sharpe claimed. She says he then isolated her, asking that no one else speak to her on set.
8. Hope Holiday also accused Lewis of assault, saying that he brought her into his office and locked the door during her first day on set of The Ladies Man. “He starts to talk dirty to me, and as he’s talking, the pants open, and the ugly thing came out and he starts to masturbate," Holiday revealed.
9. In 2017, Trace Lysette accused Jeffrey Tambor of sexual harassment on the set of Transparent, describing one incident where he said, "I want to attack you sexually" before filming a scene, then "waddled over to me in his pajamas and put his feet on top of mine, and started these little, like, thrusts on my hip. They were discreet and insidious and creepy. I felt his genitals on me. And I pushed him off.”
10. Rebel Wilson recently opened up about "awful and disgusting" sexual harassment from a male costar, though she did not name who. "He called me into a room and pulled down his pants," she revealed, saying the costar then asked her to perform a sexual act. Afraid of retaliation and wanting to be a "professional," Wilson stayed on the project, though she said, "Definitely amongst industry circles, I made sure people knew what happened."
11. Lili Reinhart also says she was sexually harassed by an unnamed costar early in her career. "I was a teenager working on a project when I started to have a crush on a guy I was working with," she explained in a Tumblr post. "He was pretty significantly older than me, but I thought of myself as mature so it didn’t seem like a big deal." Reinhart says that he later tried to force himself on her. "I had to stop him and say, 'No, I don’t want that,' and 'I can’t do that.' I physically walked away from the situation before it could get any worse. I remember feeling like this was a scene right out of a horror movie."
12. Bill Cosby has been accused of sexual assault and harassment by a number of women — including The Cosby Show costars Lili Bernard and Eden Tirl. Bernard alleged that Cosby had drugged and raped her on multiple occasions in the '90s, while Tirl alleged that in 1989, Cosby touched her without consent in his dressing room. Cosby was convicted in 2018 on multiple counts of sexual assault (after being accused by over 50 women), though this was overturned in 2021.
13. Daniel Franzese (best known for playing Damian in Mean Girls) accused Bully costar Bijou Phillips of being an actual bully on the set of the film. “She body-shamed me and ridiculed me about my sexuality and physically assaulted me," he said, revealing he was scared to speak up and lose his job.
14. Geena Davis accused Bill Murray of making her lie in a bed while he used a massage device on her while they were costarring in Quick Change together, despite her saying no multiple times. She also said he verbally berated many in the cast and crew, including Davis herself. She's also discussed inappropriate behavior during the press tour for the film.
15. In fact, Murray has been accused of bad behavior by a number of costars, including Seth Green, who appeared with Murray on Saturday Night Live when Green was just 9. He was sitting on the arm of Murray's chair backstage when he says Murray picked him up, dangled him over the trash can, and said "the trash goes in the trash can." Green flailed until he hit Murray in the balls, causing Murray to drop him and Green to fall into the trash can, which fell over. Green then ran into his dressing room, hid under the table, and cried.
16. Murray has also been accused of “inexcusable and unacceptable” comments toward Lucy Liu during rehearsals for their film Charlie's Angels.
17. Eliza Dushku was fired from the series Bull after complaining about sexual harassment from her costar Michael Weatherly. Dushku detailed how she “found myself the brunt of crude, sexualized, and lewd verbal assaults" and "suffered near constant sexual harassment" from Weatherly. "This was beyond anything I had experienced in my 30-year career," she said.
18. While star Judy Garland herself never publicly stated these allegations, her ex-husband Sid Luft wrote in his memoir that the actors playing the munchkins on the set of The Wizard of Oz would put their hands up her skirt. Garland was 16, and many of the men were in their 40s.
19. And finally, according to the documentary Celluloid Crime of the Century and the book Wes Craven's The Last House on the Left, Sandra Peabody (who went by the name Sandra Cassel at the time) was horribly mistreated by her male costars on the set of The Last House on the Left. Marc Sheffler admitted to threatening to throw her off a cliff to try to rile her up for a scene (though in 2018 he stated she was not in real danger), and David Hess allegedly threatened to actually assault her in a rape scene they were about to film.

Link to article

To start off, my experience with keto started when I was 200lbs (19F). I did it over the course of 8 months and then dropped to 120lbs.
Over the course of 4 years I’ve put on about 15lbs and am wanting to nip it in the butt before it gets worse.
I’m currently on day 3 of an egg fast that I’m using as a jumpstart back into the keto lifestyle and have lost about 5lbs so far. While this sounds amazing, I did an InBody scan and learned that I’ve actually put on roughly 2% body fat since starting and have also decreased in muscle mass.
While doing the egg fast I have also incorporated 20 minutes of StairMaster followed by about 40 minutes of lifting weights. I had started this about 2 weeks before my egg fast and have continued to do the same regimen while on my egg fast.
Over the last 2.5 weeks I have seen an increase in the amount of weight I’m able to lift so I’m a bit confused as to how my body fat has increased and muscle mass has decreased.
While weight loss is always my main goal - I am looking to get more toned, I don’t want to be skinny fat. At my best, I was 123lbs and 19% body fast, and I would love to get back into that range.
Any tips given the information I’ve provided? Thanks in advance!
(P.S. I know the InBody scan isn’t 100% accurate, but it is the only form of measurement I have accessible to me at this time and I am okay with it being a “rough estimate” as to where I’m at)

So the other day the YouTube algorithm decided to grace me with a video on the use of color on ancient statues. This is a very interesting topic to me and has a lot of popular misconceptions associated with it, so I decided to check it out.
This was a mistake.
Link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEjCNzGOe3Q
The video starts off with a summary of a New Yorker article titled 'The Myth of Whiteness in Classical Sculpture'. Now this article is fine as far as I can tell, at least by pop-history standards, but Adam Something evidently either did not read the whole article, or did not understand it, because he will go on to mischaracterize or overlook what the article says as the video progresses.

1:08 "This was a sensational discovery, it turns out that our perception of Classical art and architecture was indeed completely and utterly wrong. Researchers got to work to correct this historical misunderstanding."

Here he is referring to an example given in the article, when Mark Abbe was re-examining some sculptures from Aphrodisias in the year 2000.
The phrasing here is very strange. The video implies that after Abbe examined the paint on these statues, scholars were rushing to correct this misunderstanding.
This is a very strange way to phrase it, given that the very article Adam Something cites gives examples from long before this of ancient polychromy being well known, such as:

In a catalogue essay for an 1892 exhibition at the Art Institute of Chicago, the classical scholar Alfred Emerson said of polychromy that “literary testimony and the evidence of archeology are too strong and uniform to admit of quibble or doubt.” Nevertheless, Emerson continued, “so strong was the deference for the Antique, learned from the Italian masters of the Renaissance, that the accidental destruction of the ancient coloring” had been “exalted into a special merit, and ridiculously associated with the ideal qualities of the highest art”—from “lofty serenity” to “unsullied purity.”

So no, this wasn't some 'new' discovery in 2000. Polychromy on ancient statuary has been known for centuries. As Summitt points out:

At the core of the discussions of the early to mid-19th century on the subject of Greek architectural polychromy were conflicting ideologies. The stark and rigid neo-classicism of the 18th century was giving way to the Romanticism of the 19th century [...]. While generally true, this assessment of the situation is tempered somewhat by the details of the scholarly debates, which provide a much more complex and interesting picture [...]. First of all, the subject did not pit scholars who believed the reports of architectural polychromy against those who did not, with a few very peripheral exceptions all of the intellectuals involved in the discussions acknowledged the existence of color on Greek buildings.[1]

In fact, the very term "Polychromy" itself was coined by Antoine-Chrysostôme Quatremère de Quincy for his book discussing the possible historical colors of the Statue of Zeus at Olympia. This book (Le Jupiter Olympien) was published in 1815.[2]

1:31 "Ancient statues first started getting excavated on a large scale in the Renaissance era, when there was a great revival in interest towards everything classical. There was also a newfound scientific drive to label and cattegorize everything. Aditionally there was the transatlantic slave trade. The intersection of these three things produced a bizarre vortex ancient statues and architecture got sucked into."

Not sure I agree with this framing either. The Renaissance started, depending on who you ask either in the late 13th or mid-14th Century, and it obviously started in Italy. This is all pretty far removed from the transatlantic slave trade.
This gets even worse when the video tries to tie this to Scientific Racism. Now, the history of Scientific Racism is a very touchy issue, and I won't go into it in too much detail, but the Scientific Racism Adam Something is talking about was largely a product of the Enlightenment and later Social Darwinist ideas of the 19th Century[3] Now, there were ideas similar to Scientific Racism before Darwin, as Sealing puts it:

Prior to the Darwinian revolution, two competing scientific theories, monogenism and polygenism, were applied to justify miscegenation statutes. The "monogenists" believed that all men descended from a single ancestor and were of the same species. The theory had the appeal, particularly in the South, of comporting with the Bible and the story of Ham, as interpreted literally by the fundamentalists. 14 This theory has had a particularly long life: consider that Bob Jones University v. United States"5 was decided by the Supreme Court in 1983. This single species theory was also of venerable scientific origin, having been espoused by the Swedish naturalist Carolus Linneaus in 1735[3]

So the Scientific Racism that Adam Something is talking about has little to do with the Renaissance, and is a very anachronistic characterization.
Pre-enlightenment rationalizations largely revolved around religion and philosophy, in particular recalling Aristotle's idea of the "natural slave"[4]
Adam Something even seems to accidentally slip into this when he described Scientific Racism as "the actual Christian justification to condone slavery".
The video then jumps back and fourth between Darwinist ideas of Scientific Racism and modern racist groups' use of statues. This incoherent back and fourth in the timeline is very frustrating and hard to follow.
The main problems with this video is that it doesn't really talk about ancient polychromy beyond "colored vs. non-colored". Which is not something new, and is a dichotomy that has existed since the 18th Century at least. Modern scholarship tends to be more interested in the actual techniques, longevity and materials of ancient polychrome, not its mere existence, since the latter has already been long established. As Skovmøller puts it:

Knowing that ancient white marble sculptures were once fully painted continue to be narrated in exhibitions, newspapers and on social platforms as the uncovering of a “white lie”.
More research into in particular eighteenth and nineteenth centuries idealization of white marble will in the future serve to nuance this often one dimensional perspective. Until then, it is my hopes that research into ancient sculptural polychromy will evolve beyond the sensational realization of fully painted surfaces to allow for a deeper understanding of the consequences of this knowledge affecting research into ancient sculptures on a whole[2].

That coupled with the many errors in the video, makes its posturing as advocating for "historical accuracy" very frustrating. While it is true that pure white statues have been used to justify racist beliefs, the origins of the popular misconception is likely more accidental.

Scholars have long accepted that ancient sculptures were somehow meant to be polychrome, mostly because a wealth of coloured stones and metals has survived. The colours of white marble sculptures, however, have deteriorated.

Given that most ancient art survives to us today with its paint long since faded, and that paint found can often be hard to identify on first glance, it's hardly surprising this misconception became a thing. The racist notions behind it developed later due to this misconception, they did not create it. Even the very article Adam Something cites in the video seems to agree with this assesment, so I have no ideas where he pulled it from:

The idealization of white marble is an aesthetic born of a mistake. Over the millennia, as sculptures and architecture were subjected to the elements, their paint wore off. Buried objects retained more color, but often pigments were hidden beneath accretions of dirt and calcite, and were brushed away in cleanings.

It's a real shame, as this is a topic I find very interesting. But YouTube history left me disapointed as usual.
References:
1: "Greek Architectural Polychromy from the Seventh to Second Centuries B.C: History and Significance" - James Bruce Summitt Jr., 2000
2: "Facing the Colours of Roman Portraiture: Exploring the Materiality of Ancient Polychrome Forms" - Amalie Skovmøller, 2020
3: "Blood Will Tell: Scientific Racism and the Legal Prohibitions Against Miscegenation" - Keith E. Sealing, 2000
4: "The Problem of Slavery in Western Culture" - David Brion Davis, 1966

Hi there! For those who used Paraguard IUD for BC prior to conceiving/still trying to conceive—

1. How long did it take you to conceive after the removal?
2. How long did you have Paraguard IUD prior to removal?
3. Did your cycle experience any interruption after the removal?
4. Do you feel like Paraguard in any way affected/is affecting your fertility?

For context— I’m a 30F who just had my Paraguard IUD removed after having it in for almost 3 years exactly as my husband and I just started trying for a baby. I got my IUD removed on 5/2/2023, and still had my period like clockwork on 5/7. I think I ovulated around 5/24, and am now 2 days late for my period and all pregnancy tests I take are negative. I’m not sure if my cycle is just adjusting from the removal, or if I’m pregnant and just don’t have high enough HCG yet. I had implantation symptoms all last week, cervix is high and soft but no BFP yet. I understand it’s a low chance to get pregnant right off the bat but I’m just confused at this point. Side note: any insight, or advice is much appreciated.
I have never been on hormonal BC, and my cycle has been like clockwork prior and during paraguard IUD. My predicament has me super curious about other women’s experiences with paraguard and trying to conceive. Thanks for reading!

The Inevitability of Loss or Its been a few FML weeks

So first there was this when I came back for the anniversary, which led to this. Which was my fault because I totally forgot about it before I went inactive.
Not having had enough, I lost my Stratios, then my Astero, and then a Hecate.
Total ISK lost at this point is roughly 7.8 billion, which does not reflect the untold hours of research on the bpos.
So, unperturbed, I decided to pack my Obelisk full of personal and my private corp's assets which were located in a high security island that has two low sec systems for entrance/exit. Flying through these systems approximately three minutes earlier in my Ares showed no potential signs of aggression. I normally reserve such moves for immediately after down-time as a safeguard to avoid mishap.
Undocked and warping, I made it through the first low security system and jump to the second. I had almost initiated warp to the jump gate and safety when I heard a target lock that was followed by a warp scrambler. My stomach dropped to the floor.
The gory details are here, and add another 9.56 b to may tab. And for good measure, my capsule and implants at ~500 m.
Total: ~17.86 billion ISK.
Admittedly, Kern is slipping. He can't see the readout on his capsule's interior visual display like he used to but the neural-visual link looks just as good as it did 18 years ago.
"We're supposed to be immortal as capsuleers, but it seems that time catches up with us, nonetheless," thought Kern. doesn't resent this.
This thought reminded him of something his father would say. "You hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability."
Kern had no idea where his father had gleaned this phrase but something about it had stuck in his mind.
Inevitability, he thought.
Kern knew his Obelisk and its content would be lost. He began to eject and destroy as much cargo as possible from the hold, seething at his own stupidity as much as the numerous opportunists now firing on his vessel.
"I guess in 18 years you'll lose sometimes," he thought.
The structural integrity of the Obelisk would fail imminently and the freighter that he had dubbed Greenewreathe and flown for over ten years would be no more.
Kern felt his cheeks burn hot with embarrassment and anger even as the slightly gelatinous liquid in his capsule was circulated to cool him.
Kern's capsule was flashing a generalized hazard warning

EXTREME DANGER! EXTREME DANGER!

into his visual cortex.
He dismissed the visual warning with a sneer and after it blinked of he thought,
"SET infomorph activation protocol to STANDBY!"
His capsule understood the neural link command and responded to his visual cortex, the words flickering across Kern's vision in the bright orange that immediately makes someone think of danger.

INFOMORPH ACTIVATION PROTOCOL INITIATED IN... ...2 ...1 PROTOCOL READY/STANDBY MODE NOW ACTIVE

"INITIATE emergency WARP!" Kern thought. "DESTINATION system STAR!" "EXECU..."
But, it was too late; Kern saw the final shot out of the acute angle of one of his capsule's camera droneS.
Simultaneously, he saw his capsule's primary computer react and send the readout to his visual cortex, nanoseconds before weapon impact.

DESTRUCTION: IMMINENT/UNPREVENTABLE ... INFOMORPH ACTIVATION: REQUIRED/ABSOLUTE ... RESCIND ALL PREVIOUS PRIORITIES EXCEPT INFOMORPH ACTIVATION...
... NOW ...
INFORMORPH ACTIVATION PROTOCOL 573 NOW ACTIVE
... > ROUTING ALL POWER TO INFOMORPH PROTOCOL REQUIRED HARDWARE...

... DONE
... > BYPASSING DAMAGED HYPERMEMORY NEST... ...DONE
... > ACTIVATING VIRTUALIZED MEMORY WITH AGGRESSION
... DONE

... > ALLOCATING MAXIMUM PROCESSING TO INFOMORPH PROTOCOL ... ... DONE

... > SETTING QUANTUM CORE TO ENTANGLEMENT

... DONE
... > SETTING QUANTUM CORE TO TELEPORTATION PUSH ... DONE ...
... ACTIVATING QUANTUM BURNOUT POST SNAPSHOT.. ... PENDING ...
... > CEASING LIFE SUPPORT FUNCTIONS ... DONE ...

TAKING CONSCIOUSNESS SNAPSHOT...NOW

... CONSCIOUSNESS CAPTURED ...
POWERING INFOMORPH PUSH ANTENNA...

ENCODING CONSCIOUSNESS SNAPSHOT IN POLYDIMENSIONAL BLOCKCHAIN...
INITIATING PROTOCOL 537 FINAL CHECK

PUSH ANTENNA READY POLYDIMENSIONAL BLOCKCHAIN #KERN7464A5 READY QUANTUM CORE ENTANGLEMENT CONFIRMED QUANTUM CORE TELEPORTATION PUSH READY QUANTUM CORE BURNOUT SET .66 NANOSECONDS POST PUSH ...

PROTOCOL 537 FINAL CHECK COMPLETE. POLYDIMENSIONAL BLOCKCHAIN MOUNTED TO QUANTUM CORE
PROTOCOL 537 QUANTUM CORE PUSH OF POLYDIMENSIONAL BLOCKCHAIN #KERN7464A5 IN
2

"I'll see you in three seconds, Kern." It was his capsule's Virtual Consciousness echoing in Kern's auditory cortex, and he could hear the disgust and anger in her "voice".
"She hasn't lost in a long time," he thought.

1
NOW

For an imperceptibly brief moment a ridge on the top of Kern's capsule pulsed with bluish light, stopped, and then grew bright white and then blinked out.
The final shot landed on the pod, and Kern felt a sudden bone chilling shift in temperature. His vision faded and he was consumed in darkness.
Some empty seconds passed and then a white light made Kern open his eyes as he staggered from the clone vat, naked, dripping and wet.
He dry heaved onto the floor once, then twice and spat out some yellow bile that had collected in his mouth.
The bile began a slow descent toward the drain in the middle of this corridor that contained the inactive clones of other capsuleers, preserved in their vats, just as Kern had been a few moments earlier.
He grabbed a towel off the nearby rack and began drying himself.
"FUUUUCCCKKK!" Kern yelled with disgust and spat more bile toward the drain.
"Welcome, sir, to Foves. I am sorry about your recent demise. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need anything for nausea?"
It was the medical concierge desk checking on Kern over a monitoring speaker.
"I need a couple days in an infomorph reaclimation suite." Kern said.
He paused, stretched his arms, the burst of adrenaline he felt upon activation of this clone was now fading..
He added, "...with two of the most gorgeous Gallente men you can find."
An uncommon but not unheard of request at a Home Station Medical Clone Lab.
"Very good sir. Give me an hour to make the preparations for you. In the mean time I suggest you relax in our capsuleer lounge that is located down the corridor past the door to your left." the attendant said.
"The clothing that you had most recently customized has been printed in the dressing room out the same door. Of course you can re-customize new clothing should you want to wear something different. Is there anything else sir?"
Kern walked toward the door to the dressing room while pulling a robe on..
"Yes, a hitman with a penchant for cruelty and a lust for blood," Kern said. He was now dressed in the provided robe and entered the dressing room.
"I'm sorry sir we do not make arrangements involving vendettas or kill rights," the younger man said. He added, much more quietly, "Although for you, I could put you in touch with an agent who offers location services."
"I'll keep that in mind, Mr. ahhh ?" Kern asked.
"Biracu Senedal, sir. A nurse here with the Federal Administration Bureau Offices. I noticed in your file, sir, that you are Intaki. Did you grow up in The Syndicate? If you don't mind me asking, what was that like? I haven't traveled much and am Intaki myself." he said with obvious excitement in his voice.
Kern raised his right eyebrow and said, "Mr. Senedal would you join me for a drink if you are available after your shift?"
"Oh I'd, I'd love to," Biracu stammered, but quickly recovered. "However I cannot drink here with a client as we're not allowed to fraternize on property."
"So let's fraternize off property Mr. Senedal. And you can cancel the request for the Gallente men. I think I have found something better." Kern said.
Kern could hear the smile on Biracu's face. "Oh, very good sir. My shift ends in two hours and I will send you the location of a lounge I enjoy when I have completed the prepartions for your suite. Until then the capsuleer's lounge is quiet and relaxing... our system doesn't get an excessive amount of traffic. I'll talk to you soon."
Kern took off the robe and dressed in the newly printed clothing that was in the dressing room.
"I bet he's 27,"Kern said.
From a distant speaker Kern heard softly,"I'm 32, sir."
Kern smiled and rolled his eyes to himself.
Time has a way of dilating and compressing in an infomorph reaclimation suite. Especially with good company.
But on the second day Biracu came to Kern's suite with strong look of concern on his handsome face.
"Kern I'm sorry that I read this but normally there's no problem but you haven't activated your new capsule so our office receives your mail, and um anyway... I... Well just read it." he said.
Kern took the digital paper from Biracu's hand. His eyes glanced over the short mail, and turned to daggers. He stiffened and turned around a moment and then took a deep breath and recomposed himself.
"Kern I'm so sorr..." Biracu stopped as Kern quickly raised a hand in an exaggerated way to indicate silence.
"No, I do not require pity... just sarcasm... and time." the last words were barely a whisper. Biracu could hear the venom dripping from them.
Biracu walked around Kern slightly to read his response to the mail. A smile crossed Biracu's lips as he stifled a laugh. "That's all you're going to say?" he asked.
"Brevity is the soul of wit," Kern responded.
"So what's next for you, Kern?"
Kern said nothing for a few moments his eyes seeming to search for something elsewhere.
"You said you had holiday time available? Let's go to the Syndicate and see the Intaki homeworld." Kern said.
Biracu's eyes widened with excitement. and he blurted, " I have four fucking days!"
Kern smiled and said, "That will be about perfect. And then after we get back I think I'll check on this new corp I heard of that is using a new type of consciousness to ..."
Kern failed to finish his sentence as Biracu kissed him passionately.
"Inevitability" Kern thought, as his father's voice faded from his mind.
"I'll show them inevitable." he thought.

My father was physically and emotionally abusive.
No abuse it typical or normal but what he did doesn’t fit the concept of black and white. The physical abuse is a grey area.
I’ve been trying to work out for years if I was sexually abused. I don’t feel as though I am a valid CSA survivor.
As a child (6 female) I was made made to go into the male changing rooms with him at the swimming pool to change. After swimming we would shower in the communal male showers. Here he would get naked and urinate on my, he found it funny. The showers were small and there was only 6 and you had to walk past them to get to the lockers - I’m surprised no one said anything.
I had photos taken of me playing in the living room naked aged 5 or 6. Then once when I was in the bath aged roughly 12, I was covering my bits in a cannonball position.
As I got older, when kissing me goodbye he would kiss my neck a few times, very sensually. I was 13-14, I stopped seeing him at 14.
I was told I was the most attractive child out of me and my sister.
He would touch my butt sometimes, comment on my chest (just saying it was small). Only happened once.
Made me call him daddy.
Commenting on dresses being short.
He said I wasn’t allowed a boyfriend, to marry or have sex until I was 35.
And just other stuff.
Any advice is greatly appreciated thank you so much for reading.

Before you type some mean comment, just hear me out. Let’s call him Mason, (I’m James (M14) for anyone who needs to know) we were friends since 4th grade, and everything was fine until 6th grade. When it was January or February (2022, at the time) he asked me if I want to be his boyfriend, I took a moment to think if I wanted to be his boyfriend, and I said “Yes”. (Now I do regret saying “Yes”) Everything was fine afterward, but a few weeks later, he sexually harassed me, and I was uncomfortable. A month later, we were arguing about something, and he slapped me. Weeks later, we were having another argument, and I said, “You have anger issues” Mason said “What did you say?” then he chased me, fortunately, I ran into some people and Mason was taken away from me. The teachers did fucking nothing. 3 days later, he yelled at my friend for listening to music out loud for some reason. Here’s what all of us said, Mason said “Shut the hell up, you ugly bitch ass,” I said to him “Tell me what happened like-“ I got interrupted by him and he said “It’s him, his annoying bitch ass, shut the hell up,” my friend said “I’m trying to listen to music.” a Few weeks later, he told me that he wants to break up, I said no multiple times, and when we’re in the last period class, he said “This is serious, I want to break up” I immediately said “Ok” I sat there for a while and one of the students started to yell at the teacher and that’s when I started crying. Months later, (now in 7th grade), we were friends again, but months later we started to argue again. This time, it had a little more drama, so me and Mason (I’m just pretending to be his friend at the time) were playing a game in the gym because we both were bored the game is called “Kidnap the Child,” it’s about getting a ball and try to get it while the other person is holding the ball. But anyway let’s continue, I started to have a headache and my back was hurting, so I went to the wall to set down and rest for a little bit. Mason walks up to me and was trying to get the ball, but I refused because I wanted to have the ball for comfort, I hold the ball hard as possible and Myron somehow can’t get the ball because of my strength, Mason got angry because I was holding the ball. Later, he finally stopped annoying me. A couple of minutes later, when it was time to go, he was talking about me so I told him to “shut up” because I did not have it. He told the coach about my TikTok account and I denied all accusations about me (luckily he didn’t tell the teacher the username.) After that, when I and Mason went away from the teachers and he threatened to jump me. I did vent to a Snapchat group chat about this, and here’s what one of them said, “You should probably tell your principal that he was threatening you” I said, “I got no proof, but if I recorded the situation, then I would have proof, if this happens again then I will record the situation on my watch” they said, “For now just don't associate with him, and if he tries to corner you or something obviously record it and also confront him.” I and Mason didn’t get into an argument afterward. Months later (when school was going to end,) one of my friends was talking to Mason, and my friend told me that “Mason is moving out” I was excited, and after that, my friend said that “But Mason is moving back during High School” I hated that, but at least he will be not in the school for a while.
Note: Sorry for the grammer, and I've never made one of these.

Hi all. First time poster here. My husband and I just started our IVF journey and had our first ER a week ago. Prior to the egg retrieval, my doctor did a water sonogram and advised for me to get my fibroids removed and cleaned up before doing the egg transfer. I have a couple bigger fibroids. One particular fibroid is on the outside of my uterus which when I knew about it like 5-6 years ago, both of my obgyns that I had said they should not affect my pregnancy. But my IVF doctor said that because it is SO CLOSE to the uterine lining, I have a 90% chance of miscarriage 4-5 months down the line if I don't get it removed. I asked my OB doctor again and she said that many women have successful pregnancies even with large fibroids. It really just depends where the baby implants. And it is up to me whether I want to have the surgery or not. So I'm just really conflicted. On one hand, I want to do everything I possibly can to ensure a safe and smooth pregnancy once I do become pregnant. On the other hand, it is a major surgery, basically a C-section, with 2 months recovery time and I am so scared. I don't want to go through this big surgery if I don't have to since there is no guarantee that my pregnancy would be successful or that it would impact it afterall. I'm all for a laparascopic surgery to clean up my uterus, remove polyps and small fibroids but myomectomy is a whole other beast.
So I'm asking if any of you ladies have gone through a myomectomy surgery or elected not to. What was your experience like? Are you glad you did it or not? Were you able to conceive successfully or not afterwards? If you don't mind sharing. For reference, I am 41. My egg retrieval yielded 2 embryos that are now going through pgt-a testing. I'm still new to all of this so I'm not familiar with a lot of the terms and lingo either so please bare with me. Thank you.

Hey y’all, bit of a long post, but I’m in the process of getting my referral letters to send to my insurance so I can get top surgery covered. I have one of my letters already from a psychiatrist, and am waiting on the second one from a therapist (I can’t schedule my surgery until insurance approves it so you can probably guess how eager I am to get this second letter).
I had my first appointment with this therapist (they are known in my town for being gender affirming and writing letters) on April 13th, 2023. She told me I needed to take a PAI test (which I did on May 1st) and that she’d write the letter with me in the room in our second session if I did fine on the test (I did). Flash forward and I have the second session on May 10th with a different therapist who said she’s gonna take over writing my letter, and that she would have it to me at the end of that week or the week after. In her defense I originally said I didn’t have a strict schedule/wasn’t in a rush to get the letter, but after getting home and thinking about it I realized the timeline she gave me actually worked perfectly so I’d be fine.
Well, that amount of time passed and I didn’t receive the letter or any updates. So on Wed May 23rd I sent an email basically saying ‘hey my personal timeline has changed, do you think there’s any way you could get me that letter by the end of this week? Fine if not’. I didn’t receive a response so on Mon May 29th I called and left a message asking them to please send the letter by the end of THAT week instead. On Thurs June 1st they finally responded to my email (nine days!!!!) saying my therapist should have it to me by that Monday (June 5th). Well that Monday came and passed, so did Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday afternoon (yesterday) I called again and was told she would try to finish it that day. Well it’s now 2pm on Friday and I haven’t heard or received anything.
I just feel very lost and dejected about this situation and just have no idea where to go from here. I know I originally said I wasn’t in a rush, but I feel like I let her know in a timely manner that my situation had changed. I feel cheated and like the butt of a joke with them continuing to give me a day and then not only miss the day, but not even reach out to explain why or give me a new timeline. Should I start looking for a new therapist? Should I start calling/emailing them a lot so they know I’m serious? Should I report them? Am I in the wrong and should I just keep waiting?
I appreciate any advice yall have so much!!

Does anyone know how to get out of a Starbucks contract?
I just started my new job and I already want to quit. I REALLY want to quit. Because this shit isn’t normal. I mean, is it? Do you guys have experience with this type of shit, or is it a normal thing when moving to the city? I’m a small-town girl so I’m not used to this. We didn’t even have a Starbucks. Just a diner that had been broken into multiple times over the years.
Do you know the bad feeling you get when something bad is going to happen, but you ignore it for the sake of staying sane? .Yeah.
It was one of those situations.
But I needed cash. I needed a job. College in the city is expensive, especially in my mid-twenties. Uber Eats every night and various subscriptions, such as Netflix and Spotify—as well as basic living needs required cash. So, naturally, I looked for part-time jobs I could use to fill up my weekend and nights. When it came to job hunting, I was fairly lazy. So, the Starbucks job kinda came out of nowhere.
I wasn’t even looking for it. I was applying for a job in the local music store when it caught my eye. Someone to work late evenings and nights on weekdays and Saturdays. The job description didn’t say much, just basic pay details and a full paragraph dedicated to talking about “The Starbucks Family”. Skim reading it, I skipped to the APPLY NOW button and sent in my resume via email. Two hours.
It had taken two hours to get an email back offering a video interview the next day—and a guaranteed job if I didn’t screw it up. The video interview went well to my surprise. The woman who conducted it acted more like a friend, asking me what my favorite movies and TV shows were, and then going into detail about her own.
It didn’t even feel like an interview. More like a chat. Which was exactly what the email said it was going to be. The interviewer was my mom’s age, a total mom-like persona. She offered me iced tea before laughing and realizing we were on a video call. Her cat popped up halfway through her introducing several staff members by name. A large tabby whom she picked up and hugged to her chest. I wasn’t sure what to do except repeatedly say, “Aww.” and force an even bigger smile.
The woman who for some reason did not introduce herself finished the interview with a more formal and thorough talk-through of rules and regulations. Which went in one ear and out the other. I think I was too excited about the job as a whole. There’s something almost mythical about working at Starbucks. I’ve seen barista TikTok complaining about customer service and harping about in the back rooms. It looked fun. Plus, free drinks? I figured working at the famous coffee chain would at least have benefits and freebies.
The woman spoke to me for almost two hours about certain drinks, telling me I would be trained up, and then going on to explain the dos and don’ts in a working environment. It was kind of patronizing, but I figured she had to be to remain professional. I tuned out when she started talking about a certain “feud” they had with another store down the road. The woman didn’t go into detail, but her expression did darken significantly when she leaned closer to her screen and repeated the phrase, “Do you understand me?” I had to backtrack and try and go over what she had been saying, but I had found myself mesmerized by the gilded sword in the background. It hung from the back wall in all of its glory, and I was having a hard time trying to figure out why exactly a Starbucks manager had a sword hanging from her wall.
“Sim?” Inclining her head, the manager cleared her throat. “Did you hear me?”
I did. Sort of. Under no circumstances must I visit or go near 2nd Street Starbucks. If I did there would be dire consequences and I would face losing my job, or worse.
I wasn’t sure what “or worse” was, but from the way her expression twisted from funny-cat-lady to a potential employer, I didn’t want to ask.
Yikes.
“Uh, yeah,” I said. “I can’t go near the 2nd Street store.” I almost choked on a glass of water I had been slowly sipping throughout the interview. I had been sweating most of the day, dying in the intense June heat. It was a lot cooler in the evening in the city, but I was used to draining at least ten glasses a day. “Is that real?” I couldn’t help asking, pointing to the sword behind her.
I know you are supposed to maintain a certain professional persona and façade during professional work interviews with potential managers. However, I really wanted to know if that ancient thing was real, it was driving me crazy. Because questions were arising in my head: How did she get it? Was it hers? Was it for some kind of aesthetic and feng-shui, or was there more to it? From the look on the interviewer’s face, she seemed startled.
Whipping her head around, her strict grey ponytail hitting the screen, she nodded before turning back to me, her gaze flicking down to what I presumed was a script she was reading off—or maybe she was skimming through my printed-out resume. I wanted to ask her more about the elephant in the room, but she seemed satisfied with answering my question with a nod. She asked me more questions, mostly about my work ethic and if I enjoyed working in a team and independently, if I had any special requirements, and oddly—if I had ever held a firearm. Now, that caused alarm bells. Along with the gilded sword dangling from this forty-something-year-old’s lounge wall, I was definitely starting to question the exact nature of what I would be doing at this job. Serving coffee was an obvious one, though I was pretty sure Starbucks barista's didn’t require military-style training.
When I didn’t know what to say, she seemed to back-pedal. “Oh, it’s in case of a robbery.” She said. But her expression stayed stoic. Speaking in the tone of being joking, but not being joking. “It is rare. However, it is a precaution we must take.” Choosing her words carefully, the interviewer steepled her hands in front of her face, leaning her chin on her fingers. “Our employees are given basic fire-arm training in the instance that one day we may face a difficult situation. Now, I am not saying it is inevitable, but due to certain behavior throughout the years, it is, of course, better to be safe than sorry.”
“Oh.” I tried to smile. “No, I haven’t,” I paused, hoping my lack of ability to hold a gun wouldn’t screw up my chances. “But I can learn?”
I said it like a question because it was a question. I was questioning myself why exactly I would take up my time learning to shoot a gun I most likely never would need. To my surprise though, the woman’s smile brightened and she looked down at whatever she was writing.
“Of course,” she said. “Sim, I am very happy to hear that. We love employees who do their best to learn and thrive in our working environment,” she paused and typed something on her laptop before her gaze found mine. “I’ll put you down for lessons on Friday mornings. How does that sound?” Before I could answer her—because I was starting to seriously question why she was so obsessed with training me to use a goddamn gun—she was nodding to herself. “I will put Jude in charge of you. I think he is working on Friday, so your induction and welcome can be completed in the morning…”
She trailed off into her own murmured conversation to herself before clearing her throat. I jumped. I didn’t mean to jump, but her whole presence was putting me on edge. The lady had been nicer on the phone, and earlier on in the interview when she was grilling me on which Frozen character was my favorite.
“Okay!” The interviewer gathered up her paperwork, beaming at me through the camera. “Can you start tomorrow? Let’s say…” her eyebrows furrowed together. “5:30? I will not be there for the first hour due to certain obligations,” she traced her lip with the tip of her index. “However, I have four employees working the front desk, I’m sure they will give you a warm welcome.” I noticed something twitch on her lips. It was almost like she was trying to stop herself from laughing—which was childish from a standpoint where I was the younger one, while she was the senior. She was supposed to be setting some kind of standard, and yet for some reason was more inclined in teasing me about workplace friendships, and apparently how “close” my colleagues were. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what friendship was like in the workplace. It’s not “real” because you’re all there to do a job, not making lifelong friendships.
“I’m looking forward to meeting them,” I said when she snorted out a laugh that twisted up my gut.
"Absolutely," she responded. "The team is very close, so don't take it personally if they're initially cautious. I'm confident that you'll all become great friends! Kai is a kind-hearted sweetheart, while Ana may seem standoffish initially, but she'll warm up to you once you get to know her. Jude, on the other hand, will be your guide during the orientation, so it's best to stay close to him. In fact, it's recommended to shadow him during your first few hours since he's our top performer! Frankly, Sim, I can hardly wait for you to meet them! They're a great group!" This woman seemed to suddenly discover the use of expletives, or maybe she had noticed I visibly wanted to crawl into the ground. The way she was describing the other employees, I was expecting cartoon characters when I walked through the door.
“Right,” I said. I was starting to regret applying. “I’ll be there.”
She ended the call with a bright smile, and her stupid cat walking on the keyboard, causing her to squeak out in horror. I shut my laptop, my cheeks burning. Well, that went…? Well? Could I really say it went well when the manager had spent the last five minutes implying my work colleagues were going to hate me? Fuck.
I didn’t want to go. I trashed my application and deleted her number from my phone. But the morning after, however, I came to the quick realization through precious morning caffeine, that I needed cash. So, no matter how much I didn’t want to go—I had to. So, I headed to classes and tried not to think about it. It was 5:34 when I stepped into the familiar glow of the famous store—not before being stopped in the middle of a crowed by a girl wearing bright pink ray-bans and a scowl. “Do you work there?” she turned and pointed to the store.
I shrugged. “I guess.”
She scoffed, slipping off her ray-bans and fixing me with a bitchy smile. “Your funeral.”
Normally, in situations when strangers say odd things to me on the street, I just laugh it off. But this? This seemed personal.
“What?”
The girl didn’t say anything before turning and walking or rather running away.
Well, that was weird.
After that encounter, I was weighing the positives and negatives of taking up the job. The positives would be cash and something to occupy my mind away from classes, and the negatives were being stuck with insufferable colleagues and a manager who was the embodiment of unprofessional. The store was pretty empty when I stepped through automatic doors, reveling in the cooling fan blasting icy cold air in my face. A dark-haired college girl had her back to me, cleaning tables. But I noticed her stiffening up when I took a step forward. She straightened up like a cat going into territorial mode, before relaxing and holding a two-fingered hand up.
The store was empty so I had no idea who she was signaling to. It wasn’t a greeting to me—I had no idea what it was. I was halfway to the counter before a guy popped up out of nowhere, mid-way through drying a cup with a washrag. His hair was the first thing I noticed. Bright red.
In contrast to his pasty skin, this guy would definitely stand out in a crowd. He was my age or maybe a little older, mid twenties, with a wide smile and not much of anything else, kitted in a short-sleeved shirt, and a Starbucks apron over the top.
I expected quirky cartoon-like weirdos and I got an average Joe. I wasn’t complaining.
Initially, I thought this guy was just another jock-like college guy. But looking closer, the friendliness in his eyes wasn’t sincere, and his smile was strained. Keeping up a professional attitude, he regarded me with a smile, leaning across the counter. But his eyes kept flicking to the door in quick succession like he was waiting for a certain someone to come in. “You.” He pointed at me, trailing his finger to the door, swiping hair from his face with his hand. The guy was bouncing on the heels of his toes, I noticed. He couldn’t stand still, like a hyperactive child. “You’re Sim, The newbie I’m supposed to be training.”
I nodded, offering a nervous wave.
“Jude.” He introduced himself, though clearly distracted, his gaze flicking to and from the door. His facade was friendly enough, but very fake. It was the same smile I presumed he flashed at customers who complimented his looks. “Hey, Sim.”
Instead of holding out his hand for me to shake, he folded his arms across his chest. Jude cocked his head, drinking me in before his lips broke out into a beam.
"Shall we get started?"
Jude started the tour, showing me the store itself, then the back, the storage room, the staff room, and bizarrely, a wooden door which he referred to as, “The Drink”. I had no idea what that meant, but I made a mental note to steer away from it.
The backrooms of the store turned into a labyrinth. The place was covered in mold, peeling paint on the doors and old rugged floor tiles. Jude spoke way too fast like he was intentionally trying to confuse me. By the time I was struggling with my apron, he was turning on his heels with a brow raised. “Your hair is too long so you need to tie it up. You can shadow me this evening but don’t get in my way. We have two twenty-minute breaks and during them, we are contractually obligated to go down to the Second Street store and throw eggs at their windows—ooh, and the girl you just met who didn’t say a word? That’s Ana. You will get used to her.” His smile reached a level of fake I didn’t think was possible. “Why don’t you follow me?”
“What?” I managed to hiss out when Jude was leading me down a long, winding corridor that dipped into various rooms, out-of-order elevators, and the creepiest set of stairs I had ever seen leading into the pitch dark. I was still trying to register his words.
Jude twisted around with a frown. “What’s up?” He nodded at a passing blonde girl who shot me a smile, and hive-fived Jude before disappearing through a door.
“You throw eggs at the store down the road?”
The guy’s lip twitched into the start of a smile. He turned around, quickening his pace. “Did I say that? Obviously, I was joking.”
I stumbled after him, knocking into a dark-haired younger guy carrying a tray of cupcakes. He and Jude seemed to exchange words without speaking before Jude gestured to the stranger. Somehow, I figured out their telepathic conversation through eye movements and strained smiles, they weren’t talking about me. “That’s Kai,” Jude said, pushing through the doors back to the main storefront. He took a customer’s order, retaining that stupid smile. “If you need any help with making those annoying TikTok drinks that take a millennia to make and have probably broken several Geneva convention rules?” He playfully knocked into me while preparing a drink, his hands knowing where everything was, preparing and serving a latte in a matter of minutes, “Kai is your guy! He runs our social media page and is practically a connoisseur on the next big trend. He'll deal with zoomers."
I was slowly starting to ease my way into this job, and my colleagues seemed pretty cool. Jude actually helped me all the way through the evening, introducing his home life and how he grew up as he cleaned tables and conversed with the others—always throwing me into their chatting so I didn’t get left out. I ended up sorting through cookies and making price labels with Aurora, the perky blonde who high-fived Jude earlier. She spoke to me like we had been best friends for years, and that part of her charm made me instantly adore her. She was tiny for her age, but a menace when it came to her sharp tongue and language. I didn’t think a tiny thing like her could swear like a goddamn sailor, but it was cute. Jude and Aurora had a sibling-type thing going on, though every time I caught Kai’s eye, he was smirking. It seemed everyone knew they had a thing except them.
I was actually having fun with the others, bobbing my head to the radio while serving a group of kids, when Jude, who was next to me, seemed to go rigid all of a sudden. His laughing smile carved into something else. I had never seen an expression change so fast.
But he wasn’t the only one. Aurora, cleaning tables and giggling at Jude’s joke, straightened up, her eyes flashing to the door. Kai’s head snapped up from where he had been grinding coffee. Following their gaze, I found myself face-to-face with the manager who interviewed me. But unlike the night before, she was not smiling. The woman dropped her bag at the door before marching towards the counter. Jude leaned over; his expression apprehensive.
“Well?”
His eyes as well as his tone had darkened significantly. All of my colleagues had taken off these masks, these facades of joking smiles and bright eyes, and now I was seeing a glimmer of what they were hiding. What Jude had been looking for all evening, sneaking glances at the door. I watched his gaze follow the manager as she paced back and forth, chewing her nails. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know.” She finally said, lifting her head. Her lips were twisted. “But.” She said, spitting each word, as she rounded the counter, helping herself to coffee. “You’re going to pay a visit to them right now, and…and sort this out once and for all.” Her voice resembled that of a mother talking to her children. She was assertive to them, her eyes piercing. Do you understand me?” The woman nodded at Jude. “You can go.” Her eyes found mine. “Take the new girl, she needs to be inducted.” Finally, she turned to Ana, who was standing in the corner silently. “You are too. I need brains, and Jude is just brawn. Keep him on his toes, young lady."
With a hint of sarcasm in his tone, Jude uttered a brief "Thanks," and then proceeded to take a coffee cup and a Sharpie. Swiftly, he scrawled some words on the side of the cup, before placing it inside a bag and plonking it in front of me. As Jude reached for his coat at the back, he put it on over his green Starbucks apron, creating a striking contrast with his denim blue sherpa. With his mop of red curls, this guy was in no way going to be as incognito as he thought. "We'll manage the conversation,” he said hurriedly, visibly excited. Jude seemed to lead the others in their expressions, his confidence and wit causing them to brighten up, adapting wide smiles. He shoved his hands in his pockets, “All you gotta do is hand them this, okay?”
“Is that a good…” Kai drifted off on whatever he was about to say, ducking his head when Jude shot him a glare.
“I think it’s a perfect idea!” The manager beamed at me. “What a way to fully bring you into our family!”
I took the coffee cup (the empty coffee cup) hesitantly. “What is it?”
“It’s a gift!” Jude said, moving towards the door in long strides. It was all too noticeable that this guy was practically vibrating with an energy I had never known. It was almost manic. “I want to let them know we appreciate them! Y’know! Rival to rival.”
Kai stepped in front of him on the way out.
“Be careful,” he said in a low hum. Aurora joined him, but she wasn’t speaking, her left-hand tugging at the waistband of her jeans. “Keep your head down when you go in because they’ll be expecting you—and they’ll be expecting a retaliation.”
“Relaaaaax, it’s Cora! We used to date!” he cocked his head. "I think."
“I mean it. "
Jude’s gaze found mine for a moment before his smile grew. “Well, we have enough eggs don’t we?” He grabbed my arm, pulling me along. Ana was already gone. I could see her figure already slinking down the street, bleeding into the shadow.
When the two of us hit the cool night air and Jude quickened his pace into a power-walk, his eyes set forwards, jaw set, I figured I should ask what his deal was. If this guy was serious about vandalizing a rival Starbucks, and not just that, urged by his manager, then I had to say something.
The thought of ending up in jail being petty over a rival store made me feel nauseous.
“So, what is this about?” I asked, catapulting myself into a half-run to keep up with him. The guy had abnormally long legs, so he was halfway across the sidewalk while I was barely two steps in front. “Aren’t you taking this a little too seriously?”
Jude didn’t reply, instead remarking on the sky being filled with stars.
“Hey, Ana!” He shouted. “Wait up!”
Second Street Starbucks was like walking into a palace. I could tell why these guys were rivals. The place was a three-floored beast, a glass building made up of a Starbucks downstairs, a library, and a private apartment. I found myself mesmerized by the twinkling lights on the door, the mini water fountain through large windows showing an even bigger storefront with rich-looking wooden tables and reclining chairs. The store was closing. When we stepped in front of the door, there was a sign which clearly said CLOSED on the front.
Still, though, Ana pushed her way through it, followed by Jude, pulling me along with him. Two employees were working, a guy with short blondish hair mopping the floors, and a girl standing at the counter, going through the register. The moment we stepped inside, the guy cleaning up stopped mopping from side to side, his fingers visibly tightening around the mop handle. “Hey there!”
With one of his best fake smiles, Jude raised his arms in surrender. “We’re from the Starbucks down the road. We come in peace, don’t worry!” He gestured to me.
“Can we talk to your manager?”
He took a step, his lip twitching, eyes glinting, which caused a stir in the air. The girl at the counter stopped flicking through a wad of cash in her hand and delicately put it down, and the guy turned to face us with wary eyes.
As Jude took another stride forward, his movements resembled a dance, and I noticed he was having fun teasing them. His eyes sparkled with a childlike glee that was unexpected for a person in his twenties. "Would you like to try our latest coffee recipe? It's like sipping on liquid sunshine." He nonchalantly brushed his jeans, and I half-expected him to pull out an egg. “But…” Jude took another step, and Ana situated herself behind the blonde boy, her expression blank. “You’ve already tasted it, haven’t you?”
The girl behind the counter finally stopped counting cash, delicately placing a wad back inside the register before leaning forward, an amused smirk curving on her lips. “Jude.” Her voice was a low murmur. “I didn’t think I would see you here so soon.”
“Cora.” Jude’s lips quirked. “Trust me, I don’t want to be. But hey, it's the boss's orders.”
She inclined her head, her eyes drinking all of him in. The girl rested her fist on her chin. She was surveying him like a piece of meat. “And you obey her?”
His grin widened, and I saw his hand once again brush the front of his apron. “Like a dog.”
“You know her?” I hissed out, grasping hold of the coffee cup in my hand.
“Cora?” Jude turned to me. “Oh yeah, we used to be the Romeo and Juliet of coffee shop rivalry — back when we were both newbies, and our store kidnapped me as a last resort. To keep the peace, I stayed.” He shrugged. “That’s what I’m told, anyway.”
Starbucks lore was getting dark.
These guys had to be joking around.
I took a step back, eager to head towards the door and be as far away as possible from what I was pretty sure was going to be a lot of eggs, and several arrests. “You worked here?” I couldn’t believe my mouth was still moving and forming words as I took slow steps back. Before Jude caught my arm.
“Apparently.” He said, dragging me back by his side. “Why don’t you give ‘em’ their gift?”
Fuck.
Unwrapping the bag and pulling out the cup, I nodded and took slow strides toward the counter, placing it down in front of her.
Cora frowned, before picking it up, her gaze going to the side.
“Go fuck yourself 2nd street bloodsuckers.” She read out loud, her brow raising into her hairline.
Shit.
“I should probably go.” I managed to say, backing away. “I don’t think is the job for me—”
The latter half of my words exploded in my head when something slammed into my ears, a physical force sending me to my knees. Initially, I didn’t know what it was. It sounded like a nuclear bomb had gone off. When the ringing in my head subsided, I was aware I had my head buried in my knees, my hands clamped over my ears.
But when I tried to listen past the relentless shrill ringing in my skull, I heard them one after the other. Pop, pop, pop! Gunshots. The crack of each bullet ricocheted in my skull. It was a robbery, I thought dizzily. We were being robbed. No, Second Street was being robbed. When I lifted my head to try and find Jude and Ana to see if they were okay-- I expected them to be cowering like me, Jude, under the table, muffling yelling into his hand, and Ana, calmly pulling him to safety. But that wasn't what I saw. Instead, I must have been fucking imagining things. Jude had not moved from his spot-- and perfectly melded into his hand, was a gun. A gun he was holding like a pro, his hands wrapped around the butt, index teasing the trigger.
His trajectory was directly between Cora's eyes. Jude had not been the one who shot the gun. In fact, neither had Ana, who was still standing stiffly behind the blonde guy.
It was a girl behind the counter who had come out of nowhere wielding the type of gun I expected to see in movies. I noticed from his stance Jude had maybe stepped to the left and then the right to avoid being hit, but the way his demeanour was fully and completely relaxed sent shivers creeping down my spine. "The deal is off, Cora," he murmured. "You fuck with us, so we fuck with you." he lowered his gun slightly, his eyes darkening. "Where's Ren? He came here to sniff you out, so where is he?"
Cora seemed remarkably calm. She started to raise her hands, her lips forming the words, "I don't know what you're talking about" before she stopped, her body going limp. It took me a disorienting moment to realize Jude had taken the shot, followed by another, both landing right between her eyes. When Cora hit the ground, the whole world around me exploded.
I was dragged to the ground by Jude, as he dived across the floor, pressing himself into the back of a table, twisting around, and taking out the barista who almost shot me in the face. There were five of them, all of them good shooters. Too good. Ana easily took out a blonde and brunette with her own magnum, followed by a bald guy who crashed through the counter which collapsed under him.
Jude fell into a manic shoot-out with a guy who would not give up, and after several attempts, re-loading, and attempting to finish him from the ground, my colleague got tired and stood up, dropped his gun, and leaped across the counter. I didn't know what to watch. Ana, who was destroying their coffee machine, or Jude, who snapped the boy's neck with a single twist of his fingers, before ripping out his eyes. He hauled the dead guy over his knees, grazing his teeth across the pasty flesh of the boy's neck, his eyes flickering. I wouldn’t say they turned a different color, but there was something inhuman about them, a certain tint around his iris. "Urgh."
He shoved the corpse away, jumping up. "He reeks of it." Treading through broken glass and pooling red on the floor, my colleague grabbed a cup, downed it, and then spat it out. “That.” He sputtered. “Is the worst fucking thing I’ve ever tasted.”
Ana stepped in front of him, handing the boy his gun. “When one of any clan is murdered for with no reason, there is an imbalance, and the coffee is tainted. We must restore the balance before this gets out of hand,” she surprised me by speaking, with a tinge of an Aussie accent. The girl side-eyed me before shooting Jude a knowing look. “Don’t let her get in our way.”
“Aye, aye, captain.” He mocked a salute before nodding to me. “All right! Sim, you grab a sample. We’ll go find the altar.”
Something ice-cold slipped down my spine.
“What?”
“Cool it. It’s more fun than it sounds,” was all Jude responded with. “Grab the samples.”
I was running on adrenaline, doing exactly what he said. I grabbed two coffee cups. “What do we do now? We go home, right?”
He swiped at his lips with a sound of disgust. “Are you kidding? No, man. We get coffee which ain’t tainted.”
Ana took out two guards in the back before leading us both through a heavy metal door that led into tunnels, tunnels, illuminated by candlelight. “You just killed multiple people,” I finally managed to choke out, following the two of them deeper into the dark. “Over coffee.” I couldn’t resist a nervous laugh that spluttered into a cry. “You just murdered seven baristas over fucking coffee!” I found myself backing away at points, scanning for a way out, an exit away from this fucking nightmare.
Jude turned to me, the glitter in his eyes reflected in the candlelight. “Oh, please,” His voice echoed down the tunnel in a chuckle. “Do you really think this is just about coffee?”
I didn't understand what he meant until we came to the end of the tunnel, which dipped into an alcove leading us into a large cave-like room. Drawing his gun, Jude scanned the dark. "Anyone in here?" He said, and Ana hit him. Silence answered, and I found myself paralyzed to the spot. I didn't know what to stare at first. The ten-foot-tall Starbucks Siren looming over us, illuminated in flickering orange candlelight, or the old swimming pool filled to the brim. When I took a step forward, my foot sunk into something soft, and I made the mistake of looking down. Bodies.
I guessed that was "The Drink".
I felt myself fall back, but Ana's warm arms were guiding me away from decomposing flesh which decapitated heads poisoned in a way that I could almost call ritualistic. There were bodies everywhere, all of them curled up or had died in a position of prayer. Jude crouched in front of a guy still in his Starbucks apron. His eyes had been cleanly plucked from his skull. Jude's expression was beautifully sombre in the candlelight. "Fuck, dude," he whispered.
"Looks like they got you."
“Which explains how they got their hands on our recipe.” Ana pulled out her gun and clicked off the safety. The girl’s eyes were suddenly sad, her lip wobbling. I had a hard time believing a girl who had taken out three baristas at point-blank range was crying.
"Through him."
“What is this place?” I whispered. "What the fuck are you doing in here?”
Jude straightened up. Ana moved behind him, and I noticed her hands holding her gun were trembling. She raised her arm, pointing it at the back of his head. Jude didn't retaliate, only sending me a sickly smile. "It used to be ours," he said. "Until other stores started opening, and it became a fucking free-for-all." Jude sighed, rocking back and forth on his heel. Ana's trigger finger followed his movements. "We have a peace treaty..." Jude trailed off. "Sorry. HAD a peace treaty." He nodded to his colleague. "Second Street has always been obsessed with this particular blend we have that other stores don't." His lips curved. "They're greedy, and thought they could fuck with us. First, they took our last manager. He was like a dad to us. Sliced him up and sent us his head." He gestured to his friend. "And then they took Ren. They brought this shit upon themselves."
As he spoke, Jude dropped to his knees and closed his eyes, bowing his head in front of the Siren. Ana didn't move. "Are you ready?"
“Always.”
I screamed, slamming my hand over my mouth when this time when Ana shot Jude point blank in the back of the head. When his body crumpled to the ground, something inside me snapped in two, and I couldn’t breathe suddenly. I thought the two were playing some kind of sick game before I caught unmistakable seeping black pooling across the alter.
In the blur of orange candlelight, it was almost a mesmerizing sight. “Shush!” Ana sent me an annoyed look, before gathering his body in her arm. “Make yourself useful and grab a bucket,” she said, stumbling towards the pool. I watched her, my heart diving into my throat. When I didn’t move, Ana hissed out and twisted around.
“Did you not hear me?!” she yelled. “Get a bucket and start collecting it!” The girl gestured towards a large, rusted pipe looming over the pool, a stream of murky brown water leaking into the pool. When I started forwards, the girl shook her head. “Not yet.” She said, before heaving Jude’s body and throwing him into the darkness. I heard the splash, but I didn’t even see his body hit the surface. Part of me wanted to demand what the fuck she was doing, but I did what I was told, with trembling hands, grabbing a bucket and shuffling over to the pool edge. Ana hissed out again. “I said not yet!” Before I could speak, she held a finger to her lips. “Do it now!”
“The pool water?!” I shrieked.
She raised a brow. “You think that’s water?”
Before I could coerce some kind of speech, I was interrupted by what felt like a sudden earthquake. The ground rumbled under our feet, and I hesitated before dropping the bucket into the water and scooping up as much as I could. I quickly realized it wasn’t water. It was thick with the constancy of blood, coffee brown and yet sticky and warm like blood.
Above us, the pipe seemed to come to life, a brand new stream of murky brown solution coming down in a waterfall. I didn’t think about the pieces of flesh floating on the surface, the decomposing heads I caught bobbing around, or the fact that I was dipping my hands in blood. Coffee and blood. My stomach was trying to projectile my lunch, but I swallowed it down. I took advantage, managing three buckets before Ana was grasping my shoulders and pulled me back. I didn’t realize I was sobbing until she was handing me a handkerchief, and I was staring at her and it, like, “What do you expect me to do with this?!”
Still in shock, I tried to get another bucket full before she dragged me from the pool edge. “You can stop now,” she said. “We have enough.”
"Enough what?!"
I staggered back when the surface of the pool rippled. I don’t know what I expected to come out.
Dead bodies?
Decapitated heads?
Not Jude, covered in the brown murky shit I had filled the buckets with. When he broke the surface, I almost threw one of the buckets at his head. Despite being covered in coffee and blood, his skin was oddly free of flaws. The guy was also really naked, which should have been a minor problem compared to what I was seeing, which was a real resurrection in front of a ten-foot statue of the Starbucks siren. Which was completely normal.
But I still found my cheeks heating up. Jude ran a hand through soaked curls sticking over his eyes, shaking them like a dog before pulling himself out. I couldn’t help noticing there was no gunshot wound. It was almost as if his body was completely new. I took in abnormally grey-looking skin, like dead flesh, before averting my gaze. “Did we do it?” He gasped out, immediately covering himself. Once out of the pool, he knelt on the ground, sucking in breaths of air before seemingly realizing the state of himself.
“Fuck. I didn’t think this through.”
“I did.” Ana reached into the backpack she had brought, pulling out a shirt and jeans, reverting her eyes, and throwing him the bundle. “Get dressed.” She said, But there was a slight smirk on her lips. “Yes. I think we managed to appease them.”
“Sweet!” Jude grinned, dressing quickly. He sucked the tips of his fingers. “Mmm.” He nodded at Ana. “That tastes a lot better.”
He gestured to her, and to my disgust, the girl delicately licked his fingers and nodded with her own smile. “It tastes like cherry blossom.”
His eyes fell on me, and I saw that inhuman gleam in his eye—that had been very much there before he was resurrected in a pool of coffee. His lip quirked. I could still see coffee-- or blood dripping in thick rivulets down his temples and cheek. “Should we?”
Jude turned to Ana. “I mean while we’re here, right? We can induct the newbie.”
Immediately, I knew what he was talking about. I stepped back, but he was following me, getting closer and closer until his breath was in my face, and I was teetering on the edge. I sensed something in his eyes, something I never expected from a man who knew exactly what he was doing. Envy. Another step, and I would be falling into what I was sure was a pool full of decomposing bodies and resurrecting coffee. “Not now,” Ana murmured, and Jude snapped out of it, taking a step back.
“Buzzkill.” He muttered.
But he did step away, allowing me to inch away from the pool.
“Later,” Ana said. “She’s shaken up. We can do it first thing tomorrow.”
To my surprise, there were no cops at the scene at Second Street. Because there was no scene.
The store was back to normal, and I didn’t have the energy to question why. When we returned, Aurora wrapped me into a hug I tried to get out of as quickly as possible, eager to get the fuck away from that place. But. I had to finish my shift. I had watched a man resurrected by coffee in a fucking Starbucks shrine, and yet somehow I had to keep making drinks until my shift ended. It was nearing closing time when the doors opened, and I found myself face-to-face with the girl from earlier. The one wearing the pink ray-bans.
She didn’t say anything, but the blade of her knife grazing my gut told me everything I needed to know. With a knowing look when she slipped off her raybans, she pressed something into my hand before leaving, and I handed it to the manager, who opened it up, almost died laughing, and then threw it in the trash.
“You work for psychopaths.” I managed to get out, sidling in front of Jude while he was clocking out.
“Also, didn’t you… didn’t you fucking die?”
Jude didn’t look up from his phone. “It’s complicated.” His lip quirked. “You’ll find out tomorrow during your induction.”
“But… you work for these people!” I lowered my voice. “And you’re not trying to get away?” I gestured to Kai and Aurora standing by the door, the two of them locked in conversation. “None of you?”
Jude frowned, and I caught the first hint of annoyance. I had only seen this guy smiling, so seeing him scowling was quite the change. “I’m sorry, do you… do you think I have a choice?”
He surprised me with a laugh. “Me? A choice? You really think I wake up every morning and WANT to do this shit?” He got close, his breath in my ear. “You came here willingly. I didn’t. In fact? I don’t even remember coming here. My interview, my first day? Nothing. I don’t even remember my time at Second Street.” He threw a towel at me before I could coerce words. “Finish clearing up, all right? I’ll see you tomorrow for induction.”
There was something cruel in his smile like he was waiting for whatever my induction had in store for me.
I couldn’t help myself. When everyone was gone, and I was tasked with locking up, I picked the discarded note out of the trash, smoothing it down.
“You pieces of shit just declared war. Sleep with one eye open! 😊”
Cora xx.”
….
I cut my finger with a knife this morning. When I sucked it and grabbed a band-aid, I tasted coffee. I went home and threw up coffee.
I am peeing coffee.
I showered 8 times and I still fucking smell of coffee.
I don’t think I’m going to go to work tomorrow.
Edit: There’s been a break-in— and the manager wants me to come in early. Jude and Ana woke me up in the middle of the night to go over tactics. We are taking down Second Street during closing time.
I guess I am going to work tomorrow.
Does anyone know how to use a gun?

First / Previous / Next
-----------------------------
Daniel and Milla watched as Oprin played around with yet another piece of technology, attempting to discern its purpose and function without their help. She pressed various parts of the screen, quickly identifying each function, and began to figure out how to navigate her way around the device, glad that most of it was in her language, but there were a few spots that had been missed. She glanced between it and the main holo display, beginning to wonder if there was a significant disparity in technological advancement.
“Ok, I get this, but is this old by any chance?” Oprin asked, holding the tablet up.
“The concept was realised long before the holo display was, but they are still quite popular as they’re much more tactile, but both are designs from the past five years,” Daniel began, looking at the tablet in her hands. “They still see a lot of use for handling documentation, and large versions are used in many environments as dedicated control panels, like those we use on the bridge. When you’re in a high stress environment, you really need something that stops your fingers from travelling any further, as you’ll push on things much harder, and while holos do have haptic feedback that feels like you’re pressing something, you can easily just push right through and hit something else accidentally with too much force. Being shot at is one such situation.”
“Makes sense. So, are holos the most advanced thing you have?”
“I assume you mean display and input wise, which would be a no,” he replied.
“This one might be my department,” Milla interrupted. “We do have a newer and more advanced method which is essentially communicating directly with your brain. It used to be via a cable inserted into the base of your skull, but it’s thankfully no longer invasive, and a small gel-filled patch can be used instead. It’s what I use to communicate with the ship when I jump it. It projects data directly into your head in a way that it can interpret it in the desired way, and then your thoughts are interpreted by the system you’re linked to and turned into commands. In my case, it allows me to better visualise the portal destination to make sure I’m being as accurate and efficient as possible, and also to assist in controlling the flow of mana so I’m always getting the right amount, avoiding portal collapse as well as mana overflow.”
“And that’s just one application,” Daniel continued for her. “While not exactly popular in industry just yet, the public market loves them, and many people like to use them for entertainment, allowing you to actually be put in the game directly, instead of having to work with some of the bulky and sometimes expensive equipment. If you want to run around for real, you don’t need space and an omnidirectional treadmill.”
"Sounds great! Can I try it?" Oprin asked.
"I’m sorry, but I don't think it's available to Langan just yet. Your neurobiology is different enough from ours that what we have won't work. People are already working on it though," Daniel told her, remembering the article he read last night.
"Ah, I guess I should have expected that. Well, I have something to look forward to in the future then," she shrugged.
"I do have two non-tech things you can try though," he told her, producing the chocolate and cola.
“These don’t look anything like the other food and drink we get,” she replied, accepting the two items and inspecting them more closely. “... The drink is meant to look like rust water, right?”
“It is. They’re both luxury items, which is why they stand out.”
“... Do you really find this colour luxurious?” she asked, opening the chocolate and realising it was also brown.
“Eh, not really, but that’s the natural colour of chocolate, and the cola is dyed that colour, but I couldn’t tell you why in particular.”
“I can tell they’re both sweet though,” she replied after opening the cola and taking a sniff. “Here goes nothing….”
Oprin took a bite of the chocolate, her eyes widening as she fought against the urge to devour it in a frenzy. She continued to eat it quickly, finishing it off in under a minute, and then turned to the cola. She took a sip, and the instant the carbonated drink hit her tongue, she involuntarily screwed her face up. Once she regained control, she took another sip, but to the same result.
“Both of these taste amazing, but the sensation of the drink is…” she trailed off, praying that Daniel wouldn’t take offence.
“I wondered how you might react,” he chuckled, focussing as he pulled out a thread of mana and focussed it into a spell, causing the cola to immediately go flat without bubbling over. “There, it shouldn’t fizz anymore.”
“Huh? What did you- Oh yeah, spells, duh,” she replied, taking another sip, and after finding out she no longer had an urge to scrunch her face up, quickly drank the whole thing. “And now I want more. Thank you, Daniel.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I have a question, but I don’t know how to ask it without it sounding wrong, so apologies in advance, but when are you leaving?”
“A few days, but I don’t have a specific time or date yet,” he replied. “All I know is that we’ll be back at Earth in time for the official Langan visit next week, and we aren’t leaving today or tomorrow.”
“Of course. I’m going there too, so will I be going on the Trailmaker again?”
“It’s possible, but I think you’re going to be going on a proper diplomatic vessel.”
“So how will I find you when I get there?”
“I’ve already applied to be your host, so I’ll pick you up from the spaceport.”
“Ah, good, that makes things easier,” Oprin sighed with relief. “So, Milla, sorry if this is a touchy subject, but can I ask about your family please?”
“I don’t mind friends knowing, it’s just I don’t want to be in the public light for it,” Milla assured her. “I’m guessing you want to know about my grandparents?”
“Well, I know your grandmother is a Goddess, but is your grandfather one as well?”
“No, he’s just a regular Human. Well, I say regular, he isn’t by a long shot, but he’s not a God,” Milla replied, though Daniel picked up on a certain stiffness that made him believe there was more to it that she wasn’t revealing. “My grandmother, being a Goddess, essentially created all her children with her powers, but the two of them raised them together.”
“So is he really your grandfather or not? Like biologically.”
“He is, but my aunts and uncles didn’t come about naturally, if that’s what you mean. Currently, the only way for different species to have children is with the intervention of a Deity, which happens every now and then, but as with all things, certain researchers are looking into alternatives, though it’s mainly into Dwarf, Elf, and Human children, and then Dragon and Kobold children, given both groups have significant genetic similarity.”
“Am I translating wrong?” Oprin asked, frowning.
“Milla, are you genetically related to James Whiltstone?” Daniel asked for her.
“I never mentioned his name, but yes, though by less than 15% or however you want to count it,” Milla confirmed.
“I know his name because I’ve seen them in public, and Xailin always liked to avoid the topic,” Daniel explained.
“So, Milla, what was it like having grandparents like that?” Oprin followed up.
Milla shrugged. “Honestly, it just felt normal, but I don’t really have anything to compare it against. We didn’t live public lives, and the fact about her being a Deity was well known, but we never really did much around it. She never really used her powers for family matters, with the only big exception I can think of being to save a cousin who had a severe genetic defect that would have killed him before he hatched.”
“So no miracles?”
“No, not aside from that and having children in the first place,” Milla confirmed. “Of course, many of us asked for something, myself included, but she would always refuse as it would be an abuse of her powers.”
“I still don’t understand why they hold back their true power….”
“Because constantly using it could easily interfere with society’s development negatively. Complacency, overreliance, lack of freedom, and so on. Their end goal is a universe where they don’t do anything, as that way they have achieved their purpose. They know it’s impossible, but they still try to do as little as possible, only acting when they feel they need to.”
“So they needed to give us a planet now?” Oprin asked.
“I think they felt it was necessary given your people’s situation and the mental fragility of many of the people that suffered, along with getting the Langan people to be safely on the path to recovery as soon as possible.”
“And I realise this might come across as insulting given your relation, but are they really benevolent?”
“Benevolent in intention, but maybe not always benevolent in action. They will sometimes upset people to achieve a better end result. I should clarify that they don’t upset them intentionally, it’s just that the methods they can use don’t always leave people happy at the time.”
“Like me and my magic access issues,” Daniel agreed. “I certainly wasn’t happy, but it worked out in the end. I think.”
-----------------------------
Daniel let out a sigh of relief as he and Milla made it back onto the Trailmaker at the end of the day, without being accosted by the CSB agent again. They both quickly went their separate ways, and Daniel headed back to his room, already having eaten his last meal of the day on Milla’s private shuttle. When he got back to his room, he found Hannah’rah sitting on their bed, flicking through her holo with a concerned look on her face.
“Hey, how was it today?” he asked as he sat down next to her, giving her a quick kiss.
“Ok, I guess, but our new orders just came through,” she replied.
“Not good?”
“We’re taking the long way back to Earth.”
“What!? Why?”
“They want to increase Navy presence in some nearby systems, routing ships through them in the short term, and stationing small patrols there when they can get them together,” she explained.
“So, when are we leaving port?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“... Right,” he sighed, opening his holo and immediately sending Oprin a message about the situation, and apologising for saying that he would be able to meet her tomorrow, and assuring her that he would still host her on Earth. “I’m shocked we didn’t get a little more notice.”
“So am I. The orders only came through half an hour ago. The Captain still hasn’t announced it, but should do soon. Make sure your team knows bridge shifts are starting up again until we get to the core.”
“Yeah, of course. Which route are we taking?”
“I can’t remember the system names, I just know it will take about 20 hours with all the portal queues.”
“Fair enough,” he replied, producing the two bars of chocolate and bottles of cola. “I got us a little something.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t have, but thank you,” she told him, accepting her bar and bottle, and immediately started to enjoy them. “Didn’t get ripped off, did you?”
“Well, we are kind of remote, so it was fairly expensive, but triple the price isn’t that bad, all things considered,” he replied, starting his own treats. “Probably even still knowing we’ll be back on Earth in a couple of days.”
“That’s actually pretty good. Sometimes even small things like these can cost 20-30 times as much in more remote places.”
“Yeah, not worth it,” he agreed, gently wrapping his arm around her, causing her to rest her head on his shoulder. “I wonder what we’re going to be doing after the celebrations? It’s not like we have another alien signal to investigate, and exploration is still pretty much exclusively done by probes.”
“No Idea. I have a feeling the Trailmaker is going to be partially torn apart to properly examine the new warp drive to make sure it’s performed acceptably.”
“So you think we might get more leave than the celebrations?”
“Possibly. I’m just making guesses based on some logic and how they sometimes treat other ships with new tech. They do want to start pumping out ships capable of similar speeds after all. They probably are starting to produce brand new designs already.”
“I suppose…. Are we going to get reassigned?”
“I don’t know,” she replied, her body sagging as she realised what the chances of them being reassigned to the same ship were.
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