I met this friend a few months ago; she was visiting from Germany to London for the first time for only 3 days. We met in a pub, and she approached me. Then she said it's so noisy here and would you like to walk outside. We walked outside for a few hours, talking about our lives. Then we discovered we had both been suffering from depression. We also shared our personality types. She is an ISFJ (28), and I am an INFP (24). We made a plan for the next day to travel around the city. After that, I walked her to the hotel. The next day, I was with her all day. Took her to a few interesting places in London. Even to shopping. She was looking for a dress, but it wasn't available at the store. But one of the store staff said it's available in different branche of store. So we went there and looked for it for about half an hour but couldn't find it in the displays. So she gave up and wanted to leave. Then I requested a manager of the store and he find it from their store room. Then my friend said I'm really impressed and said you don't really give up. In the evening, she left because she had made another plan with another guy to watch a musical. But before leaving, I express something that I never did: that I'm in love with her. But she said she only saw me as a friend. Is it wrong to fall in love with someone quickly? But she promised me that she'll never ghost me and she left for the musical. She left the UK the next day. Later, I asked her how her visit to London was. She said that it was amazing, and thank you for showing me around, but the musical was the best. That really killed me. I know she lives in different country and older than me. So she has so many reasons to ditch me. But I think she never told me the true reason why she ditched me. She also said we have different personality types. She said you're an N type, and I'm an S type. She also said that I'm very practical and you're a dreamer. So we can't be together. I think that's not even a true reason. Because I asked her, "What do you know about INFP?" She replied that I know nothing, and all the things I learned about INFP from memes. So I sarcastically said that it was very practical, by the way. Most of the things she says are very contradictory, like this. She used to ignore all the valid questions, and she used to say, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Once she said, "If you want to talk about something or need to vent, don't hesitate to text. One day I was very depressed, so I texted her, and she was like, I have my own problems too. After a month, we had an argument, and she finally said we have very different personalities and don't want to keep our friendship. She broke her promise and blocked me. I wasn't very sad about it at that moment, nor did I want to talk with her again. But so many things remind me of her, and it triggers my depression, which is hard to cope with. She gifted me a diary, which I threw in the trash to avoid depression. But the places I took her, I couldn't avoid. Like M&S stores and restaurants. Also, one of the historical places I took her was my work place, and every time I go there, it reminds me of her. I stopped going to work there but I still have to go to work there occasionally. I don't know how I'm going to cope with these situations. I don't have any relationship experiences and never been in one. I never had enough courage to express my love to someone. But this time I wanted to do it, even if it was too quick or she was going to say no. This time, my depression hit me very hard. My doctor stopped prescribing me any antidepressants because I overdosed twice. I don't have any good friends to share these with, and I'm sick of these shallow friendships. I live alone. I badly need a true relationship. But I don't know what to do. I'm just looking for some advice and support.

Does any of the 5 or 4 star restaurants serve it in Delhi?
p.s. - obviously not beef-beef. I know it'll be buff beef.

American model and actress Kate Upton full name Katherine Elizabeth Upton first appeared in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in 2011. Her birthplace is St. Josephs Michigan U S, her zodiac sign is Gemini, and American. She has a perfect body shape with measurements, of 36-26-36 inches keeps with a height of 5'10" and a weight of 57 kg. My eye color is Bluish Green and my hair color is Blonde. She belongs to the cast, Christian and her ethnicity is White. Her current residence is New York U. S. A.
Read more
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Kate Upton Sports Illustrated Model

Skinwalkers in Rural Michigan
I recently purchased a 10,000 lumen flashlight to illuminate the surrounding woods as I walk my dog in the evenings. I have been hearing some strange noises at night, and I figured it would be nice to see everything that boxes me in as I walk Max, my dog. But boy was I wrong. I should have been afraid of what can't be seen outside the veils of my iphone flashlight. What was to be exhumed by my flashlight terrified me to my core. This happened a week or so ago, November, 2nd 2022, Harrison Michigan. The evenings were approaching abruptly now. It was only 8:30pm when I decided to take my golden retriever on one last shit walk before I got settled in for the night. At this time, in rural Michigan at least, it’s pitch black. I cursed underneath my breath as I opened the door and peered out. Fuck, chilly and dark. God, why haven’t I moved south yet? Max was timid this evening, which was so really unlike him. Very strange. The darkness emanating from outside my house poured in like a disease. It was void of any color. Upset about not replacing my porch light, I pulled out my new amazon special, this week it was a 10,000 lumen flashlight. Feeling its expensive metallic body in my hands felt exonerating, and the excitement to use it overthrew any bad vibes Max was giving. He whimpered as soon as the door opened, he then put his tail between his legs and shivered. I scoffed at his weak tendencies here, this was so unlike him. I turned this ungodly bright flashlight on and showed it forward. “For fuck sake look Max, nothing to be afraid of y-” I was cut off. My mouth gaped at what was in front of me. Shown in the powerful beam of the flashlight was a contorted lanky humanoid figure. It slumped down from a standing position and got on all fours like a person miming a frog. Then it jerked its head up and sniffed the air. Animistically. It turned its head and bored its stare right into my eyes. Then it darted into a bush on the edge of the woods. The edge of the woods that surround my entire house. I heard leaves crackle and watched the skin colored creature dissipate into them. I focused the beam of my light directly onto that bush. It was incredibly bright and the bush appeared like high definition from the immense light, especially in contrast to the oily blackness that surrounded me. The bush shaked ominously, like a predator was inside, shifting around. A familiar feminine voice came from that bush. “Please help me… oh god please help… help… help mee…” And the leaves rustled again. Max whimpered in terror and got between my legs. I grabbed the baseball bat that I kept beside the front door for just such occasions and held it beside my head in a “ready to whoop” gesture, the other hand on my flashlight. I shakily started towards the bush from my door. Max bolted inside, leaving me completely alone. “Helllppppp meee” the voice cooed. The soft feminine coo of the voice crackled a little this time. Yeah, almost as if something was masquerading as a female, and luring me in. I was about 6 feet away by now, I could feel the blood pulsating in my temples. Goosh flesh ran down my body. “Helllpp,” deeper voice “Meeee!” An elongated ashy white arm flung towards me at ankle height. I instinctively stomped down on it. I heard cracking and sloshing from underneath my shoe. I stepped directly onto its wrist. I heard a shriek from inside the depths of that bush and the hand sprung up like a trap being set off. The strength possessed by this creature was unreal, it slung me to the ground and began to reel me into its bush where it resided. I screamed, smacked the arm with the bat as hard as I could and then lost control of the bat. It fell next to me as I was dragged closer to the bush, now my feet were inside the leafy abyss. The voice turned into my mothers voice. The clawed hands grasp on me tightened with tremendous strength and the nails dug into my skin through my pants. “Help me Nathaniel. Your mother needs help. I can't walk.” Yeah alright. I shined my light into the bush. What I saw still makes me tremble. It was my dead mothers face there alright, but atop an ashy white skinned humanoid skeleton with backward joints. The arms bent unnaturally opposite of how they should, the legs were bent like a frogs ready to pounce. The eyes were milky white, but were extremely intelligent and they gazed into my consciousness. With all of my force, I horse kicked my deceased mothers face and heard a massive crunch as my heel connected with her masqueraded nose. A profane yelp of pain blasted into the darkness of this B.F.E. where I lived. The grip on my leg loosened just enough from the blow for me to break free. I shot upright and turned to the door. I dropped my flashlight in this madness and couldn’t give a shit less. It could keep it for all I fucking cared. I bolted towards the door, and as I reached the halfway point I was Illuminated by a blinding bright light from behind. Almost like a spotlight beamed right onto me. My. Fucking. God. That thing had my flashlight and was pointing it directly at me. “Helpp… Nathaniel. Help me son.” The light started to bob up and down. Whatever was holding it was lurking closer and closer to me, and was gaining on me much faster than I was to the door. So much for not being able to walk. I ended up winning the foot race miraculously. I jumped inside my door and slammed it behind me. I heard a loud thump into the door immediately following its closure. My mothers late voice came again, beckoning me. “Son. You know your mother has taught you better than this. Let me in. Please, my son.” The light shone through the window at me, blinding me. Seeing spots and now disoriented, I fumbled myself up and managed to lock the door. Max was at the furthest point possible from the door, glaring at the door trembling in fear. Three solid knocks from the top of the door frame. Then the light was gone and I heard a metallic clunk, the thing must have dropped the flashlight on its retreat. The light now was gleaming off a huge tree. I watched a tall skinny humanoid creature with long contorted ligaments jerkily run towards that tree. His legs bent opposite of how our legs do, and same with the arms. Then it bent down in the same erratic way that it moved, and got onto all fours as it approached the tree. It paused a second and peered up the trunk. His head swiftly snapped to my face. Its now black and sunken eyes stared into my soul. I froze in terror as it climbed that trunk, with its face directly bored into me mind you, like squirrel. Scurrying right up it, never leaving contact with my eyes. The light undoubtedly should be blinding his vision, but the sense of intelligence of it knowing my existence was uncanny. Light didnt hurt it. As it ascended it smiled at me, a predatory grin. It disappeared into a purple dot that was still in my vision from when I was blinded by the flashlight. As I moved my head to try to see the creature, I watched tree leaves russell and saw no more of it. Yet. I locked the doors that night and cleaned up Max’s accidents from not going out. At night as I was asleep, I was awoken by my mothers soft voice from right outside the bedroom window. “Let me in Nathaniel..” Then directly following this motherly imitation came a 10,000 lumen flashlight beamed into my face. I heard the window slowly open, but I was blinded by the light.

Skinwalkers in Rural Michigan
I recently purchased a 10,000 lumen flashlight to illuminate the surrounding woods as I walk my dog in the evenings. I have been hearing some strange noises at night, and I figured it would be nice to see everything that boxes me in as I walk Max, my dog. But boy was I wrong. I should have been afraid of what can't be seen outside the veils of my iphone flashlight. What was to be exhumed by my flashlight terrified me to my core. This happened a week or so ago, November, 2nd 2022, Harrison Michigan. The evenings were approaching abruptly now. It was only 8:30pm when I decided to take my golden retriever on one last shit walk before I got settled in for the night. At this time, in rural Michigan at least, it’s pitch black. I cursed underneath my breath as I opened the door and peered out. Fuck, chilly and dark. God, why haven’t I moved south yet? Max was timid this evening, which was so really unlike him. Very strange. The darkness emanating from outside my house poured in like a disease. It was void of any color. Upset about not replacing my porch light, I pulled out my new amazon special, this week it was a 10,000 lumen flashlight. Feeling its expensive metallic body in my hands felt exonerating, and the excitement to use it overthrew any bad vibes Max was giving. He whimpered as soon as the door opened, he then put his tail between his legs and shivered. I scoffed at his weak tendencies here, this was so unlike him. I turned this ungodly bright flashlight on and showed it forward. “For fuck sake look Max, nothing to be afraid of y-” I was cut off. My mouth gaped at what was in front of me. Shown in the powerful beam of the flashlight was a contorted lanky humanoid figure. It slumped down from a standing position and got on all fours like a person miming a frog. Then it jerked its head up and sniffed the air. Animistically. It turned its head and bored its stare right into my eyes. Then it darted into a bush on the edge of the woods. The edge of the woods that surround my entire house. I heard leaves crackle and watched the skin colored creature dissipate into them. I focused the beam of my light directly onto that bush. It was incredibly bright and the bush appeared like high definition from the immense light, especially in contrast to the oily blackness that surrounded me. The bush shaked ominously, like a predator was inside, shifting around. A familiar feminine voice came from that bush. “Please help me… oh god please help… help… help mee…” And the leaves rustled again. Max whimpered in terror and got between my legs. I grabbed the baseball bat that I kept beside the front door for just such occasions and held it beside my head in a “ready to whoop” gesture, the other hand on my flashlight. I shakily started towards the bush from my door. Max bolted inside, leaving me completely alone. “Helllppppp meee” the voice cooed. The soft feminine coo of the voice crackled a little this time. Yeah, almost as if something was masquerading as a female, and luring me in. I was about 6 feet away by now, I could feel the blood pulsating in my temples. Goosh flesh ran down my body. “Helllpp,” deeper voice “Meeee!” An elongated ashy white arm flung towards me at ankle height. I instinctively stomped down on it. I heard cracking and sloshing from underneath my shoe. I stepped directly onto its wrist. I heard a shriek from inside the depths of that bush and the hand sprung up like a trap being set off. The strength possessed by this creature was unreal, it slung me to the ground and began to reel me into its bush where it resided. I screamed, smacked the arm with the bat as hard as I could and then lost control of the bat. It fell next to me as I was dragged closer to the bush, now my feet were inside the leafy abyss. The voice turned into my mothers voice. The clawed hands grasp on me tightened with tremendous strength and the nails dug into my skin through my pants. “Help me Nathaniel. Your mother needs help. I can't walk.” Yeah alright. I shined my light into the bush. What I saw still makes me tremble. It was my dead mothers face there alright, but atop an ashy white skinned humanoid skeleton with backward joints. The arms bent unnaturally opposite of how they should, the legs were bent like a frogs ready to pounce. The eyes were milky white, but were extremely intelligent and they gazed into my consciousness. With all of my force, I horse kicked my deceased mothers face and heard a massive crunch as my heel connected with her masqueraded nose. A profane yelp of pain blasted into the darkness of this B.F.E. where I lived. The grip on my leg loosened just enough from the blow for me to break free. I shot upright and turned to the door. I dropped my flashlight in this madness and couldn’t give a shit less. It could keep it for all I fucking cared. I bolted towards the door, and as I reached the halfway point I was Illuminated by a blinding bright light from behind. Almost like a spotlight beamed right onto me. My. Fucking. God. That thing had my flashlight and was pointing it directly at me. “Helpp… Nathaniel. Help me son.” The light started to bob up and down. Whatever was holding it was lurking closer and closer to me, and was gaining on me much faster than I was to the door. So much for not being able to walk. I ended up winning the foot race miraculously. I jumped inside my door and slammed it behind me. I heard a loud thump into the door immediately following its closure. My mothers late voice came again, beckoning me. “Son. You know your mother has taught you better than this. Let me in. Please, my son.” The light shone through the window at me, blinding me. Seeing spots and now disoriented, I fumbled myself up and managed to lock the door. Max was at the furthest point possible from the door, glaring at the door trembling in fear. Three solid knocks from the top of the door frame. Then the light was gone and I heard a metallic clunk, the thing must have dropped the flashlight on its retreat. The light now was gleaming off a huge tree. I watched a tall skinny humanoid creature with long contorted ligaments jerkily run towards that tree. His legs bent opposite of how our legs do, and same with the arms. Then it bent down in the same erratic way that it moved, and got onto all fours as it approached the tree. It paused a second and peered up the trunk. His head swiftly snapped to my face. Its now black and sunken eyes stared into my soul. I froze in terror as it climbed that trunk, with its face directly bored into me mind you, like squirrel. Scurrying right up it, never leaving contact with my eyes. The light undoubtedly should be blinding his vision, but the sense of intelligence of it knowing my existence was uncanny. Light didnt hurt it. As it ascended it smiled at me, a predatory grin. It disappeared into a purple dot that was still in my vision from when I was blinded by the flashlight. As I moved my head to try to see the creature, I watched tree leaves russell and saw no more of it. Yet. I locked the doors that night and cleaned up Max’s accidents from not going out. At night as I was asleep, I was awoken by my mothers soft voice from right outside the bedroom window. “Let me in Nathaniel..” Then directly following this motherly imitation came a 10,000 lumen flashlight beamed into my face. I heard the window slowly open, but I was blinded by the light.

I (F25) went on a date last night with a guy (M39) that I met at my spin class. He asked me out with sweat pouring down both our faces after class lol
We had dinner at a restaurant (he paid) and then we got drinks and dessert at a bar (I paid).
When I got home he texted me to make sure I got in safely and said he was looking forward to seeing me again. He sent a text a few minutes later that said "When you get a chance can you send me an e-transfer for your half of dinner? Thanks 😊 "
I already sent him the $45 for my portion of dinner but I wanted to know if there is a way to avoid this next time we go out.
I would prefer to cover the cost of our next date to avoid an awkward text about money.
Should I just pay for our next date? I don't want to split the bill because he might ask me how much he owes me later on. It's not very romantic tbh 😕
I didn't ask him to e transfer me for the drinks and dessert. Why would I? I'm just happy to spend time with him.
I really like him and I'm looking forward to our next date but without the awkward "you owe me $" text.

NerdPunt 0-3 Bonkers(OCE)

rib.gg vlr.gg
Bind: 7-13
Fracture: 6-13
Split: 4-13
NerdPunt rib.gg Twitter
Bonkers(OCE) rib.gg Twitter VLR
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Overall Scoreboard

NerdPunt	RATING	ACS	K	D	A
FETA Yoru	1.20	244	47	48	9
BiggieCheese Brimstone	1.09	141	27	45	14
McKinley Sova	1.03	157	29	43	11
MILKY Breach	0.88	143	28	49	15
Sinaway Cypher	0.83	142	25	51	9
Bonkers(OCE)
DRAGON Gekko	1.26	264	57	27	8
LEW Raze	1.24	249	49	33	8
Minimise Harbor	1.14	229	50	35	22
rDeeW Skye	1.12	157	31	26	25
WAT Viper	1.11	223	48	35	15

Map 1: Bind

Team	ATK	DEF	Total
NerdPunt	5	2	7
	DEF	ATK
Bonkers(OCE)	7	6	13

Bind map stats (past 90 days)

Team	Win %	ATK Win %	DEF Win %
NerdPunt	50.0%	50.0%	44.4%
Bonkers(OCE)	50.0%	55.6%	50.0%
All teams		52.1%	47.9%

NerdPunt	RATING	ACS	K	D	A
FETA Yoru	1.29	256	17	16	4
BiggieCheese Brimstone	1.21	164	12	15	4
McKinley Sova	1.07	199	13	17	4
MILKY Breach	0.94	139	10	18	7
Sinaway Cypher	0.75	97	7	18	1
Bonkers(OCE)
Minimise Harbor	1.22	283	21	14	8
DRAGON Gekko	1.20	250	21	9	1
LEW Raze	1.19	253	17	11	3
WAT Viper	1.07	239	18	14	5
rDeeW Skye	0.93	95	6	11	11

Detailed Bind Statistics

Map 2: Fracture

Team	DEF	ATK	Total
NerdPunt	0	6	6
	ATK	DEF
Bonkers(OCE)	7	6	13

Fracture map stats (past 90 days)

Team	Win %	ATK Win %	DEF Win %
NerdPunt	0.0%	42.9%	26.3%
Bonkers(OCE)	100.0%	100.0%	50.0%
All teams		52.7%	47.3%

NerdPunt	RATING	ACS	K	D	A
FETA Jett	1.35	321	21	16	4
McKinley Skye	1.10	133	8	12	6
Sinaway Killjoy	1.09	194	12	16	1
BiggieCheese Brimstone	1.08	145	10	15	8
MILKY Breach	0.76	82	5	16	7
Bonkers(OCE)
DRAGON Killjoy	1.25	283	19	11	5
rDeeW Fade	1.24	213	15	8	9
WAT Brimstone	1.14	235	17	11	5
Minimise Breach	1.06	195	14	12	8
LEW Raze	0.92	159	10	14	4

Detailed Fracture Statistics

Map 3: Split

Team	ATK	DEF	Total
NerdPunt	4	0	4
	DEF	ATK
Bonkers(OCE)	8	5	13

Split map stats (past 90 days)

Team	Win %	ATK Win %	DEF Win %
NerdPunt	66.7%	58.3%	40.9%
Bonkers(OCE)	100.0%	100.0%	66.7%
All teams		49.8%	50.2%

NerdPunt	RATING	ACS	K	D	A
BiggieCheese Gekko	0.98	114	5	15	2
FETA Yoru	0.95	155	9	16	1
MILKY Breach	0.94	207	13	15	1
McKinley Harbor	0.91	139	8	14	1
Sinaway Omen	0.65	135	6	17	7
Bonkers(OCE)
LEW Jett	1.60	336	22	8	1
DRAGON Raze	1.33	258	17	7	2
rDeeW Viper	1.18	163	10	7	5
Minimise Skye	1.13	209	15	9	6
WAT Astra	1.11	194	13	10	5

Detailed Split Statistics
How ratings are calculated

Heya, I have some questions about terraforming since I haven't really dabbled much with it since the game came out. I want to kind of recreate my local geography for a wildlife park I'm planning. It's very hilly with lots of streams and creeks where I live, now I seem to remember that it's impossible to do a connected water feature going downhill? Any tips to fake it? I don't want to go straight up waterfalls all the time.
Also any good tutorials on restaurants, mine never really work out the way I want them to.
Thank you in advance.

We've been together for 7 years, and I've always had trouble with gift giving. I try to show my love and get him something unique, but he turns it into a fuss. Note that I was 18 when we started dating, he was 25, and I was earning but not that much.
Some examples of the gifts I've gotten him are scuba diving experiences, I tried baking him a cake once and it turned out tasting like shit and he didn't appreciate the gesture and made a whole drama out of it.. the only gifts he didn't make drama out of were just clothes gifts which I find extremely lame.
Last year, I was abroad for this birthday but had a cake delivered to his home.
This year, his birthday was on a weekday. I planned for us and our two close friends to take a yacht ride during sunset, I prepared snacks, food, drinks... and then booked us and our friends a dinner at a one of the best hotel restaurants in town. I also got him a nice shirt. I spent about 250$ on the whole thing. I also wrote him a birthday letter.
On the Satuday preceding his birthday, we went out for dinner with my cousins and sister and her husband. He was so quiet all throughout, barely talked, kept complaining about things, and when gift giving topic was being discussed, he passive agressively said directed at me "yeah sometimes you shouldn't value someone so much" when the people around us were discussing what gifts their boyfriends/husband would get them and I said "yeah mine is generous with his gifts". It was a simple discussion and he took it to heart.
For instance, my cousin's fiance said she only got one rose on valentines. Now, my fiance got me a whole bouquet, but my cousin literally PAMPERS his fiance day and night, pays for her everything. So it's not just that one rose. And my fiance held this against me afterwars, he's like 'did you hear? others only give their fiances one rose"
It turned out he thought I had disregarded his birthday and didn't plan anything for his birthday. But truthfully, I had planned things out for the DAY OF HIS BIRTH, and not the weekend preceding it, because I already spent too much and couldn't afford a getaway or something also. I
Anyways, he had work on his birthday and I wasn't telling him about the yacht trip just yet. It was a surprise.
He picked me up after work and we went to his place, where I gave him the shirt. He didn't even appreciate it, just wore it and said it's too big. And he was angry for some reason, even using a loud tone with his mother.
The second we reached the yacht, he was still so serious, silent, didn't appreciate it at all. Even when our friends arrived he just was there. Like an angry child. While the rest of us were just chilling and enjoying the new experience which. 30 minutes into the ride he turns to me and says; "and then what? we just do this for a whole other hour?"
at that point, I was so pissed I was about to cry. I didn't respond and went to another spot on the boat. He was like this the entire time, only talking occasionally, barely excited. We got a bit nauseous and took motion sickness pills which made us drowsy. But we had a fancy dinner planned afterwards, and my sister and her husband also joined.
Despite everyone there spending so much money and time out of their days just to celebrate his birthday with him, he was so silent the entire time, even at the restaurant, barely showing respect or gratitude to anyone. Blamed his silence on the effects of the pill. I took it too, and I was drowsy too, but I wasn't making it as obvious at hijm and I was putting an effort into showing appreciation to the people around us on behalf of his rudeness.
At the end of the night, we got him a tiny birthday cake slice from the restaurant's menu.
After the whole thing ended, he's like "I'm a getaway and restaurant type of guy" and he made me feel bad for the yacht trip and what not.
A week later, he jokingly said "you didn't even get me a birthday cake" - but I know there was some truth to what he said.
This is why his birthdays always stress me out cause nothing I do is ever enough. It's my fault for trying to gift him unique things on his birthday, but never again.
Still, I want to know if his attitude is normal? Or if there are hidden motives in there.
On my birthday, we usually do have a getaway in the weekend before if it's on a weekday. But we always have getaways, and he earns more than me. Plus, in our culture, its usually the man pampering the woman, but he expects me to go full out on him on his birthday?
This past year for instance, I was studying aborad so we didn't spend neither christmas nor new years nor my birthday togeher. When I returned, he gave me a perfume and a gold necklace. But we didn't exactly go out or celebrate.
I'm not sure what to do or how to react to this occurrence, especialyl since he's my fiance and we have a life ahead us.

I (19F) don’t live with my family anymore and I recently went to see the little mermaid. I went out to eat beforehand and because it was so hot outside where I live (35 degrees Celsius), I decided to wear a short skirt and crop top.
Now I don’t even live in the same city as my strict Muslim family so I’ve done things like this many times before and even walked around in skimpier clothes. After a whole year of this, today is the day someone spotted me.
He came up to me and said hi to my friends and told me to go home or he’s going to follow me around. I said yes I’m going home and left the restaurant. I met my friends somewhere else and went to see the film anyways.
But to be honest, I didn’t comprehend any of what happened in the film or any of the conversations with my friends after that. I put on a brave face but the truth is that I was constantly disassociating. My body was there, but my mind was somewhere else.
I’ve always been the good and religious kid in the family. The last time my brother saw me I was covered from top to toe (didn’t even used to wear pants, always abayas or long skirts). I moved out overnight and they thought it was because of my abusive mother, so they left me alone for the most part. Now he sees me like this he’s probably going to put 2 and 2 together and figure out the real reason why I moved out.
It’s this overwhelming feeling of shame that I can’t shake off. Suddenly I felt so icky in that skirt I was feeling so cute in when I decided to wear it. I hated myself for being so scantily dressed and wished I was wearing long loose pants instead.

I rarely ever obsess about what I've done anymore, I don't engage in compulsions, and I've largely accepted them all, but one thing is that I'm still constantly burdened with an astronomical amount of self-loathing. I believe it's mostly a result of my depression and childhood isolation and neglect, however OCD does play a large role in it as well.
I've never seen anyone, except others with OCD, have as much self-loathing as I do, in the way that I do. It's isolating. Especially when most self-hatred from other depression sufferers is surrounding things that most people can relate to, such as hating your looks, personality, lack of accomplishments, place in life, etc.
I also hate myself for those things, don't get me wrong, but the intense self-hatred for the guilt of the things I've done has been the worst one for me. It just feels like this aspect of self-loathing will be a part of me forever. I hate the fact that I was born at all. I just don't want to deal with this or with me.
Even without my events, I'd still hate myself. I can say whatever I want, but nothing will ever be able to truly express the amount of raw hatred I harbor for myself. It's every second of every day. Even now, just reading what I wrote pisses me off. 'Harbor?' You mean fucking 'have?' What's wrong with me, why isn't it more concise? It's so wordy and irritating to read, but I'm ticked off that I always have to reread my posts and edit the wording once, twice, a hundred times.
I told myself I wouldn't do that, but here I am, having made two editing passes for this entire post already.
It's so painful living like this. Though I can't help but feel like this is what I deserve.

Hey! Going to Edinburgh next week and I can’t wait. Any recommendations for bars, restaurants, must see attractions in Edinburgh or near by? Thanks 🙌🙌

I’ve been working in this restaurant for over a year, and I have a co worker who gets on my nerves sometimes. Pretty recently I got manager position but I don’t feel like I am seen that way. this co worker was so used to me not being manager that I guess they don’t see me like that now. Anyway, they get on my nerves by telling me which jobs needs to be done and what I should do. She tells me things I already know. She only wants to do the easy jobs, never wants to clean the bathrooms and complains when I make her do it. Am I just too nice? She’s 5 years younger than I am, and I have been working there for about 6 months longer than her. I feel disrespected. She’s actually an amazing person outside of work. How can I politely tell her to focus on her own work as I am not dumb and know what I am doing?? Should I tell my boss I’m sick of picking up the slack?

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Fictional scenario, but in the same "universe" as the two GuppyII/Tench missions earlier.
It is just before the commencement of hostilities in the 2000 South China Sea campaign. ROCS Hai Lung (trans: Sea Dragon) was ordered to monitor an PLAN base for unusual activities, as Taiwan is being extra vigilant after China's saber-rattling. She even got an extra load of the American Mk 48s before leaving port.
The sub was settling in when suddenly EIGHT sub-hunters, including one Udaloy-class, roared out of the harbor, looking for her, pinging madly...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAXlxup43DU
Background: ROCS Hai Lung is a real sub. Taiwan managed to buy 2 Zwaardvis class subs from the Dutch before China screamed bloody murder loud enough for Dutch to cancel the other 6 subs on order. In this reality, we assume they had been upgraded with technical assistance from USN to shoot UGM-84 and Mk 48 MOD6, in addition to NT37s

Hey, I’m going to share my “resume” with y’all. Could anyone please be brutally honest and tell me what colleges (of the ones I show) you think I might be accepted, waitlisted, or rejected from. I’m EXTREMELY nervous! Thank you!
Colleges: (for reference I want to major in economics) -Texas A&M -UT Austin -UT Dallas -UCLA -USC -Emory -University of Michigan -Brown -Cornell -UNC Chapel Hill
Background: -Slightly below average household income family, white, mother is an immigrant. -Non-native English speaker (first language was Serbian). -I am fully fluent in Serbian and English and can speak at a conversational level (probably B1-2) in Mandarin, Spanish, and Arabic. I also know basic phrases and communication in Tigrinyan and German
Academics/Awards: -GPA: 4.45 Weighted (Out of 5) but not top 6% for UT because I’m at an extremely competitive public school -SAT: 1560 -AP Classes as of Junior year: 10, but taking 6 more senior year -National Merit Finalist -Academic All American (AAA) from the National Speech and Debate Association (750+ NSDA points) -#2 Speaker at UIL state in debate in the most competitive event (out of like 250+ competitors at state and hundreds more in districts and hundreds more that didn’t even go to districts) -Winner of 8+ Debate tournaments -4 Bids to the Tournament of Champions (on average even prestigious teams get maybe one throughout their entire career)
Extracurriculars: -Member of Speech and Debate team (3 years and going onwards) -Debate captain (2 years and going onwards) -100+ volunteering hours at local food shelter -Job at local restaurant (1.5 years) -Job at tutoring facility (1.5 years) -Co-owner of finance club -Owner of entrepreneurship club -Owner of language/world cultures club -Member of Mock Trial (3 years) -Member of Cross Country/Track team (1 year) -Owner of DECA club (first one ever at my school) I placed decently for it being my first year. -Member of National Honor Society -Participated in a prestigious collegiate debate camp that was ~3 weeks. I got 2nd place. -Created a debate camp that taught around 30 different students for 2 weeks. -Taught and created curriculum for a debate tutoring service that had around 50 students for ~6 months. -Created an online affiliate marketing business (as a freshman), generated $1000 in 2 months, and built a computer with that money. I then taught a rough estimate of around 10 other people to do the same, with probably around an accumulation of $4,000 spread evenly amongst them. -Have 3 social media accounts with around 50,000 followers each, each teaching biology (health), sat tips, and economics/entrepreneurship respectively -Created a power washing business that generated ~$5,000. Helped power wash and clean local businesses as well -Created an online website creation business. Created a website for over 25 companies, and generated ~$1,000. -Created a non-profit that sends money to mental health institutions (using portions of money from different businesses of mine.)
Passion Project: -As an aspiring economics major that wants to go to law school, I did research (that was published) on the effects of environmental laws on different companies. I interviewed around 5 different heads of companies, and reported it to local news reporters and politicians in my area. I am currently in the process of getting a bill into congress, to try and ease the effects of enviro-law on small businesses, while simultaneously being eco friendly.

Hospitality staff are being forced to escort frightened tourists or visitors back to CBD hotels as the state’s liquor watchdog extends takeaway alcohol sale restrictions until the festive season. Authorities are battling alcohol-fuelled violence and anti-social behaviour blighting Adelaide’s most popular areas amid reports harassment and petty CBD street crime is still a “big problem”.
Police and agency officials have now been warned that frightened tourists, and city visitors, have sought help from bar and restaurant staff to walk back to their hotels. Management of major CBD hotels have relayed concerns about guests being left scared on “dangerous” city streets – especially at night – while some tourists are then outlining their fears on social media.
Liquor and Gambling Commissioner, Dini Soulio, reimposed a grog crackdown on bottle shops and licensed venues – first launched for a month at Easter – for six weeks until Tuesday. But acting on police advice, Mr Soulio has ordered restrictions on takeaway alcohol sales now be enforced until at least late November as authorities assess its effect on general city safety. Restrictions, which are similar to those imposed in Port Augusta and Whyalla, limited the sale of various takeaway liquor.
A special state government safety body, which endorsed the ban extension, last week heard how city anti-social behaviour was still a “big problem”, particularly around the Adelaide Railway Station on North Tce. Senior officers told the Safety and Wellbeing Taskforce that numerous calls were “needing police attention” despite early results showing restrictions maybe working. Police, who have boosted patrols to troubled hot spots through Operation Paragon, and bureaucrats have further heard how security guards at a popular city pub were assaulted in consecutive days in the past fortnight.
Reported problems involve indigenous groups, record levels of homeless people suffering through the cost of living crisis, significant mental health issues and drunken revellers. Politicians and staff working late at Parliament House have been warned to leave in pairs and to avoid long waits for buses amid violent incidents, including assaults.
https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/adelaide-boozefuelled-problems-scaring-tourists-who-need-help-walking-to-cbd-hotels-alcohol-sale-bans-extended/news-story/04fead7f2f6b0a8fa6be11da7449aedf