I (26F) have two very close friends. Let's call them Ben (25M) and Lucy (24F). Ben has been my best friend for nearly a decade and has always been there for me. I became friends with Lucy a bit (maybe 2 years) after I became friends with Ben.
I had a bit of an issue with Lucy at first because we were both officers in a club. I did majority of the work, while she barely did anything. Despite this, we were able to work out our issues and become very good friends. After Ben, she's my closest friend.
After college, Ben and I made an effort to see each other often and call everyday. Lucy and I mostly just talked online and only saw each other once or twice year.
Now here comes the issue. Lucy recently got a new boyfriend. Let's call him Ron.
Ron and Lucy are from very different backgrounds. Lucy grew up rich and privileged while Ron did not. Lucy is an outspoken feminist (much like Ben and I), and Ron grew up in a community that was quite misogynistic. Of course, we can never blame someone for their upbringing. Ron acknowledges that some of his views are problematic and always makes an effort to learn.
Recently, Ron made a misogynistic joke. Lucy got mad at him for it, and I'd like to believe that he realizes he was wrong (idk, he said, "ok I'll just take it back". I'd like to think that's admitting he's wrong but some people disagree.).
Ben picked up on this and started making jokes behind Lucy's back about Ron being a misogynist. I told Lucy about this, and she seemed fine with it and even agreed to it (as far as I understand).
Recently, it came up in a conversation between Ben and Lucy. Long story short with the conversation, Ben realized that making those jokes about Ron (even if not to his face) are wrong. He apologized to Lucy for making those jokes even if it was behind her back, and promised not to make them again.
Lucy got mad, one thing led to another, and she ended up unfriending him. When I talked to her about it, she said that it was because she hated that she was being associated with a misogynist: something that she, an outspoken feminist, would never do. I honestly find this weird since while I understand her staunch principles, her last boyfriend WAS indeed a misogynist (he even objectified a girl in front of her family!).
Ben has been trying to make amends with Lucy since then. Most recently, he offered peace offerings to Lucy and Ron, which Lucy declined. I asked if she wouldn't even give him a chance to make up for his mistake. She said that it's still too early to do anything. Take note that it's been less than 3 weeks at this point since the fight between them.
Now here's my conflict: we had planned to watch Barbie as a group. It was originally supposed to just be me and Lucy, but then she invited Ron to the group, so I invited Ben.
Lucy and I have very strong principles about choosing and siding with other people. Ben is my best friend so I expect him to always side with me over other friends whom I have beef with (unless it's the girl he's dating, then that's understandable. However we haven't really had that problem yet, but that's an exception I'd make).
Lucy has the same principles. We're avoiding the topic of Barbie, but I just know that she will end up asking me to choose between watching it with her or Ben. If that happens, I plan to choose Ben basis that he is my best friend. I impose a certain standard on him, so I can't be a hypocrite and back down when the time comes to apply it to me.
I know Ben is in the wrong in this situation, and he has been trying his best to make amends. I know also that Lucy has her own feelings and boundaries, and she's not obligated to forgive him if she doesn't want to. But somehow there's something off about the whole situation.
So would I be the asshole if I indeed chose Ben over Lucy? Also how do you think I should explain it to her? Do you think there's any chance of them making up between now and July 21?

I've using Exquisite Tax Service when i started a side hustle/business (sole propietor), it's been a couple years now. I just logged onto the IRS website and seen that my 2022 return summary shows my refund as $3,794.00. I received $2,687. Is this a reasonable amount?

This is going to seem like the most BS of a story, everything is going to seem so random and extremely confusing, but please hear me out.. this started happening not to long ago where my grandma has been seeing and hearing things that aren't there and then getting extremely angry at my parents when they say there's nothing there and they try to tell her that what she's telling us isn't true at all, earlier today she was talking about how there was a little kid sitting in her chair, there are no little kids in this house.. and then she started talking about how her room smells like Marijuana and how she knows those kids are smoking it in her room, then she proceeded to get randomly mad at my dad for making a noise at her when really my dad had been outside the entire doing yard work. Here is where things start to get even more freaky, before I started writing this post I was watching YouTube in my bed and before that i got up a couple times for some snacks which i heard my grandma talking but i didnt think much of it,, after all of that had to get up to use the bathroom and when I came back out I heard my grandma just talking, now first I figured she was reading a book since thag something she likes to do on occasion but instead of going back into my room I listened, oh did I learn thay I was wrong, I was extremely wrong, she was having a full blown conversation with someone in her bedroom, and when I tell you, I have never been so absolutely mortified in my entire life, she was laughing and telling a story to this supposed person in her room and then started talking about how we all think she's crazy then said to this person "please don't think I'm crazy" before continuing on with this story, I continued to just stand there dead in my tracks before she finally says a name, "miss sherry?" , "miss sherry?", "miss sherrryyy" after that I went straight upstairs into my parents bedroom and told them what was going on which my mom came downstairs and went into my grandma's bedroom and asked her who she was talking too, which my grandma said the lady and my mom told her that there was no one in her room, which my grandma got angry about and started accusing her completely random things, my mom told her that all she did was ask who she was talking too which this time she said "the lady at the desk" now here's the funny part, there is no desk in her room, there's a bed, TV, some shelves, a dresser and a cabinet, but no desk.. my mom ended telling my grandma that she needs to go sleep since it was 2:15am, which my grandma got mad about and told her no and said she was going to stay up all night and if you couldn't have guessed it already, she's still talking to that person.
I finally our together in mind while writing this thay my grandma has been talking to this supposed lady for at least 2 hours now, since all the times I was in and out of my room she was talking but I chose not to think anything of it and honestly, I wish I continued to think nothing of it, I'm worried and I'm paranoid, what if there's someone actually in our house that my grandma is talking too? What if our house is haunted and she's seeing dead people? What if my grandma has been possessed by an evil spirit? I have no idea what to think right now and I can't sleep after this.
I've always been such a fan of watching horror movies and watching those ghost videos on YouTube, but when it happens to you in person and you're put in a situation that seems like it could be out of a horror movie, it's not entertaining anymore and it's not fun to see unfold.
I know this story seems unreal and sloppy but I promise you this is fucking real. I am mortified, and I'm writing this because I have no one else to talk to about it. I don't know what to do or how to think. Please someone try to give me answers.

I have been piercing for four years now, and finished my apprenticeship in 2019. I started at this shop in 2022, and they let me go in April because they "weren't happy with things". When they did, I gave them the key to their shop, and went into my piercing room to take my paintings and stuff off the walls, after I removed the first painting I noticed that the adhesive we used to hang them stripped the paint off the walls, I went up to them and told them and they told me it wasn't a big deal at all, they would just paint over it. I was a bit visibly upset while getting my things to leave, but I didn't say anything to them, and just left once I was done. That was it, it genuinely wasn't a big deal at all.
Well, now I'm hearing from multiple people that they're saying I purposely damaged their walls, broke things in their shop in a fit of rage when I left, THREATENED them, called the health department on them, hacked their instagram page, and they almost had to get a restraining order against me!? Not only is this almost laughable because this is NOT at all my character, they literally have cameras all over the shop that would prove their lies wrong. The manager is also telling people she taught me how to pierce when I have been piercing longer than her. (She always uses a COMPLETELY different method than I do, I freehand almost everything using hollow piercing needles, she uses tools for everything using cannula needles. So it's really strange she would even try to make that claim.)
I have not said a word about them since not being at the shop outside of my very close friend group (also former employees), and I'm genuinely so confused on why after 2 months they will not keep my name out of their mouths and why they are making up these INSANE lies about me. I'm worried their rumors are going to potentially effect my professional career and reputation. I'm so stressed and confused about this entire situation. Does anyone have any advice?
TLDR; My previous employer is spreading potentially dangerous lies about me and I'm wondering how to handle things.

We’ve been together for 14 years. It’s not been a walk in the park, but it hasn’t been life or death drama either.
We haven’t been communicating or arguing well since day 1. I decided to start focusing on this basic aspect about 2 years ago and just let all the ACTUAL issues sail. Because we could never talk about them anyway, with our dysfunctional communication and arguing styles.
I broke up with him over it twice. His verbiage has elements of disrespect and condescension when he really gets going like he did. The last time was the last straw, and he knew I was on my last straw. He begged me that he wanted me forever and blah blah blah…
We didn’t talk for a week but started lukewarmimg back up to him. I knew he didn’t deserve me to. But we are on the verge of buying a house ( I know bad) and he promises never again…
Then I see on his phone while I’m cleaning it (we do this every night) the screen time screen is up and says 1 hr 59 minutes used in messages. Texting. Well I know that wasn’t with me. So I look. There are two sentences under an unnamed number, clearly from a previously erased conversation.
I said, I saw 1 hr 59 minutes on your messages, what was that? (I truly do not snoop. I’m about to buy a house with this guy I’ve been with for 14 years and I’m getting gut feelings… I was in the hospital recently 5 days and I know he didn’t stay at home…. Etc.)
He looked all around the room and named as many people as he could think of quickly that maybe could’ve been texting for 2 hours. I’m like nope. Show me your phone if that’s true. He showed me, and in 2 minutes of having his phone after I had cleaned it he had erased those two sentences. I said, where did the one go that you erased? Said he didn’t erase one. Every step of the way. He lied. And every step I had more proof. More satisfying. But holy fuck. This is over now.
Thanks for listening to me spell it out so I can see how it sounds out loud. Or on paper.

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6 yrs ago when I first divorced my ex paid $800 a month in child support for our 2 kids. When my oldest turned 12 she did not like my rules& moved in w/her father full time. He took me to court and they dropped the $800 but he was ordered to cover medical insurance & I was ordered $68 a month to him. He claimed he made the same as me & did not make commission as a car salesman. I did not fight because we each had a child. Our oldest is now 18 & since I'm the custodial of the 12 yr old it flipped to him paying $274 a month. These figures are based on old income numbers. I now make $54,080 a year & he makes 90k. My daughter has now decided she wants to do week on week off time. Her father had her crying texting me saying she needs that money to help them with groceries and gas or her dad says he can't get her. I have been alienated from my oldest child for 6 years & I don't want to lose my relationship with my 12 yr old over $274 a month. I don't want to be the " bad guy" if I don't comply with his and his wife's request for me to drop it. Thoughts??

Lil context. About 2 months ago I was binge drinking and having issues with trust from my gf. I have had a toxic issue of “if I’m gonna get treated x way I’ll give them a reason”. So I downloaded tinder. After that night I got into therapy. Been sober. And doing everything I can to be the man I should be. And everything was getting back on track. She moved out to me from another state shortly after we started dating ling distance. She had nothing but the clothes on her back not even a DL. Anyways, she had made some new friends at work (which I was really happy she did because she knew no one here). As soon as she started hanging out with them her attitude towards me has completely changed. I’ve been sleeping on the couch, she’s out all night with them and stays over sometimes. It’s been like this for 2 weeks and I keep telling her it bothers me and she says sorry then does it again. I feel like her friends are bad influences and making the situation worse. She hasn’t been willing to sit down and have a conversation with me on how to fix our relationship. Like I said, it was going god until she started hanging out with them. I had let her use my old truck to get to and from work and told her I didn’t want her taking it around to other towns and just taking it for things I can’t take her to because of work or I’m with my son. She has asked several times to use it outside of that and when I’ve said no she’s gotten angry with me so I said “well if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t even have a vehicle right now” and she said that’s manipulation. I feel like im going crazy and that she doesn’t care about how her actions are making me feel. If anyone has some input on if im being to much or valid about this lmk. I get that I hurt her, but we were on a path of fixing it and repairing our relationship and she’s thrown the work out the window and just doesn’t spend any time trying to fix us and only cares about being with her friends. Also I should state that she had no where to live at the end of the month before we made arrangements to move her here. She lost her job and had no money. I feel like I’ve been used and that she never really cared about us like she says she does. How do I move forward here? And if I tell her she needs to find a new place to live how do I do that when she has no one (except the friends who are a priority over our relationship)?

So, I vented the other night about what I had been going through because I'm the type who holds stuff in until I can't anymore. What can I say? I'm a work in progress. But I never vented at work. I clammed up and then vented here and at home. Went back to work the next day and was completely calm.
I did mention a little something to one of my leads, but I didn't take the situation any higher than that. My goal was never to get anyone in trouble, but there was clearly an issue that needed to be resolved.
My problem was I felt disrespected, stepped over, disregarded, and "played with" (by mgmt). Then when I tried to get a straight answer from mgmt., they never really gave me one, lol.
Favorite Girl's problem is that she feels like I'm trying to take something away from her. She's used to doing certain things and probably has had free reign on that shift for her entire length of employment. Then I came in—the only actual adult regular employee on night shift—and started "acting like a manager" in her eyes. So she bucked me.
Aside from that, I don't think any of them know I worked at this company for a couple of years. Yes, I'm new to the department, but I'm not fresh off the street. I never bothered telling anyone, though. If they know, they know. If they don't, they don't. Anyway, I think they feel like I'm stepping in and trying to take over "their" territory.
I get it. I understand. But that's not what I was trying to do.
I was asked to watch over them, lock up, count stuff, etc. I don't know who was doing it before I got there. All I know is that's what my mgr. asked me to do. So I did it and felt kind of good that they trusted me enough to ask me to.
It was all cool at first, but then the dynamic changed, and I'm not sure why.
Anyways, the same thing happened tonight, where my manager asked me to do something, and Favorite Girl interjected and overstepped again. Instead of getting mad or complaining, I talked directly to her about the problem. I told her and the other one that I'm not trying to be their mother or their boss. I was just looking out for them as asked.
They could have actually died, and it was rude of them to put their safety in jeopardy to prove a point. I reminded them that we had gotten along just fine, worked together, and followed policies a few weeks previously. So I didn't understand the new attitude. Yadda yadda so forth and so on.
We just had a conversation. No one yelled, cussed, or anything like that. I talked to them because I wanted to hear what they had to say, and I wanted them to hear where I was coming from.
I don't know how things will pan out, but I'll give myself an A for effort in trying to talk to disgruntled teenagers, lmao. That's a first for me.
BTW, the boys are upset with me now. I'm not sure whether it's because I called them kids (which they are), or because I said I wanted to leave when I was upset.
Nevertheless, they expressed their displeasure by playing GOD-AWFUL music on the BT speaker. It was ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS. They usually play stuff from my era (on their own with no prompting or request). That's how I knew they were upset.
I returned the favor by waiting until they went outside to dispense, connecting my phone to BT, and playing the theme song to SANFORD & SON as loud as possible. That's not even from my era, but I thought it was funny as crap.
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Hello everyone! Just wanted to share because I think the V6 needs to be under recall as well. I bought my Santa Fe new in 2017 and I have loved it and never had issues except normal wear and tear. I was good about the maintenance, and upkeep of the vehicle and it was always so reliable. Until it wasn't. Last month, on my way to work, I noticed a strange knocking sound. So that day when I got off work, I went home and it was still making the noise. My husband wanted to take it to the dealership 45 minutes away, so he's in his car, and I'm in mine, and 4 miles from dealership, it makes a pop sound, I smell smoke, all the lights came on at once and it was still on but no acceleration. I pulled over and parked it on the side of the highway. We got it towed from there to the dealership. After about a week, they said basically the engine was f-ed and needed to be replaced, quoted about 8.5k. Of course we just paid it off so we decided ok fix it and it would be better than a new car. They said 2-3 weeks. We get to the 3 week mark and still haven't heard anything. The service department never answers the phone so you have to leave a message. Finally the guy calls my husband back,(he never returned my calls, only his) and said oh the engine is on back order and we have no ETA when it will be available. He says he's ordered two others as well and they're all out of stock. So that's telling me that these engines are starting to fail. Mine had no warning or indicator light, not even when the knocking sound was going on. So we bought a CRV a couple days ago and the Santa Fe is still at the dealership sitting indefinitely to be repaired. I even called Hyundai corporate and haven't received a call back from the so called manager she said she was escalating it to. So F Hyundai. I'm done with them.
Have any of you had this experience with your V6? California is starting a class action lawsuit according to my husband on the V6. They probably have the same issues as the 4 cylinder turbo that was eventually recalled. A friend of mine at work has one of those Sonatas and she said the dealership had her car for 6 months!!
WTF??

Hi everyone just wanted to share my crazy story.
When I was 12 I was out playing soccer and got hit pretty hard by another player. I immediately realized half my front tooth #8 was gone and I was bleeding. This happened over the weekend so most dentists were closed and we had to wait until Monday to go get it checked out. I don’t recall having any pain or feeling uncomfortable but I was scared about losing my tooth. Luckily the dentist worked his magic took X-rays said everything was good and filled my tooth back up. As the years have gone by I’ve never experienced any pain or discomfort from that tooth. Growing up I didn’t have any dental insurance so going to the dentist was far and wide but luckily I believe I took pretty good care of my teeth especially my front tooth.
As in adult now I can finally afford my own dental insurance because of work and I’ve been going for my regular cleanings. Last year while at one of my cleanings I told the doctor my story he checked the tooth out super quick said everything was healthy and that all I would need would probably be to get it retouched soon.
However this year I decided to try out a new dentist because my old one wasn’t great imo and just didn’t meet my expectations.
I went it for my regular cleaning told the new dentist my story just so he could see if I needed to get my filling touched up and immediately he noticed a very slight color change in that tooth that I had never even realized was there.
He immediately started feeling around and applying a cold cotton ball to my teeth and asking if I felt the cold air to my surprise I felt nothing on my #8 tooth.
He ordered a panoramic X-ray and afterwards told me it wasn’t good news.
He explained that my nerve was dead and that I had an infection that was eating away at my jawbone as well and that my only viable options were an extraction or a root canal.
At this point I’m scared because for the past 10 years I’ve always assumed my tooth was healthy no pain no discoloration around my gums nothing the only thing I had ever questioned was a small pimple looking thing very high up in my gum above that tooth that I assumed was just a cold sore that just never went away and even then I felt no pain from it.
I was referred to an endodontist he pretty much confirmed what my general dentist had suspected and told me that my infection had probably been there a very long time and that the reason I felt no pain was because it would drain itself from that pimple looking thing. He told me that in my case there was probably an 85% chance the root canal works and 15% it doesn’t and that in that case an extraction would be needed.
We went ahead and did the first part of the root canal today which was taking out the dead nerve cleaning the area and filling it up with medicine that will hopefully help kill the infection and promote bone growth.
During the procedure I felt nothing it was painless and pretty quick too. After the numbing wore off I felt a slight pressure on my tooth but no pain.
It’s been 15 hours now and I still do not feel any pain. I know most people would be glad there is no pain but I’m a bit scared that there isn’t. I’m not sure if that is something normal or if not feeling pain could mean something else. I haven’t ran a fever or seen any inflammation in the area.
I did get prescribed antibiotics and pain killers but haven’t had the need to use either yet. (Endodontist said to only take the antibiotics if I experienced swelling. Which I don’t understand because wouldn’t they give me a better chance at killing the infection?)
Anyways I go back in one month and just wanted to share my story. Goes to show how important it is to find a good dentist and getting regular check ups Pray for my tooth lol

Demographics: Male, Hispanic, California, Public CA School, Low-Income, Big School though, over 2k students, Immigrant
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Hooks: First Gen Immigrant, Low Income, Very bad school
Income: Less than 30k
Intended Major(s): Chemistry or Biochemistry
ACT/SAT/SAT II: I won't submit, no matter what lols
UC GPA = 4.15W/3.76UW Community College GPA = 4.0 Rank = top 9.9% 38/383 (currently)
Coursework: AP Chemistry, Ap U.S. History, AP Lang, in my senior year I am taking AP Gov, AP Lit, and AP Calc AB. I took Dual Enrollment. LATTC (CC) = Intro to Psychology (A) Intro to Sociology (A) American Sign Language (A), Stanford University (Actual University) = CompSci 105 (A+), and also took Communication 101 (A) at USC but through LATTC, and will take 2 other college courses at USC during the summer which are astronomy and sociology 2. I will also take one more college class in my senior year at USC.
Awards: Top 10% Stanford Class Scorer Across the country: Since I had an A+, I scored top 10% out of 4,000 students across the country who took the Compsci class. Students from the National Education Equity Lab program. National Honor Society for National Equity Lab: Since I scored that high, they put me in their National Honor Society. High Honor Roll all High School: this is common but I’ll put it anyway. CompSci 105 Certificate: Since I took the class they gave me a certificate. UCLA Three-day Writing Bootcamp Certificate: I attended a boot camp with the UCLA EAOP program, and I stayed in the dorms for 3 days and took writing classes with other students across LA. Peer Mentor Summits Certificates x3: Certificate showing that I went to the summits to learn about ways to talk to students and colleagues. Pal/CLEF scholarship x2: 400 dollars in total. USC Summer Program Certificate: I will be getting a certificate by the end of the summer program.
Extracurriculars: Mental Health Resource Website(11th): Currently working on a website to add mental health and school resources for students at my school. I am using html, css, and javascript to build it. Took my own initiative to reach out to professionals and students to help me with the project.
English Tutoring(9th-11th): I tutored 1 college students from El Salvador in their college English classes for over 2 years, 3 hours a week during the weekends and sometimes Fridays. Went over their lessons, and tried to prepare lesson plans for them.
Peer Mentor Club(leadership position, maybe president?)(9th-11th)
Work Experience(10th-11th): I worked at a shapewear store, I was in charge of the inventory, and sales, and I was a cashier at the same time. I helped with the inventory system as well. Invited to events by the CEO.
Pop-Rock Club(11th): So far I am learning how to play the guitar and we have done multiple fundraisers to get the instruments and equipment that we need.
Chess Club (10th-11th)(President)
Leadership(10th-11th): I only went to leadership for 1 year since they turned the club into a class, and my school goes by mesters so I only take 4 classes and I have 3 APs so it doesn’t fit my schedule. But when I was in leadership, I would organize events like pep rallies, I would help with fundraisers during Valentine's day or Christmas, holidays basically. I might help them when they do events but I don’t attend meetings.
Chemistry Club (President/Founder): I founded the chemistry club.
Programs(9th-11th): I am in multiple programs, including UCLA EAOP which is a program by UCLA, we go to UCLA all the time which is cool. I am in the USC UpwardBound, I take college classes with them on Saturdays, and in the summer I will be staying at their dorms for 6 weeks taking 2 college classes. We also have community service opportunities in the program. I am also in the Gear Up program, we go on hella field trips and I learn a lot from it. I am in the National Ed Equity Lab which allows low-income students to take college classes at schools like Stanford, Harvard, etc.
Community Service Hours: 300+ with Gear Up and other programs. Will also do community service through the city I am in and will volunteer at a good bank this summer.
Essays/LORs/Other: UC PIQS : Prompt #2: Showing my creative side, I will talk about how I use twigs and leaves to create creatures and characters in order to use storytelling and create a story in nature since my mom taught me that when we used to go to the mountains in my home country, El Salvador, and how that shows my creative side because I am able to express my emotions and thoughts through storytelling.
Prompt #4: Which is how I took advantage of an educational opportunity, I will talk about USC Upward Bound and how it allowed me to find the person I want to be in the future through their resources and tremendous love and care for me (I will go in detail about the opportunities the program provides) and I will mention how I am the first undocumented student to join the program since 1977 which is a huge accomplishment and I want to be able to represent my community and myself.
Prompt #5: My significant challenge and how I overcame it, I will talk about my moms health, and how I had to become an adult at a young age to be able to process the emotions in my household and how I got a job in order to buy school supplies like a laptop and an iPad, to not worry my mom.
And lastly, Prompt #7: Which is how I made my community a better place, I will talk about the mental health resource website and how my exigence was hating to see my friends sad and missing out on big opportunities like I did when I was down, so I created a website to give mental health resources to students at my school.
Schools I want to apply to: I want to apply to UC mostly. I really really want to go to UC Irvine. That is my top choice for sure, please be brutally honest with UC Irvine with my stats.
Little Background: I am really worried about my GPA because my history teacher was a terrible human being so she never gave me an A. And since my school is in the quarter system, AP classes are a year long, however the 2nd and 3rd quarter are called honor classes while we are still in the AP class. Therefore, the AP is 4 grades in total and the teacher gave me 3 Bs and 1 C which brought my GPA down SINCE THEY ARE ALL WEIGHTED. I have all As in my sophomore and junior year except my sophomore year I had 2 Cs. So really, only the APUSH class is the one ruining my life basically.
UCLA UC Irvine UC Riverside UC San Diego UC Santa Barbara UC Santa Cruz UC Davis UC Merced UC Berkley Stanford CSULB CSUF SDSU

It's been 5 months now. Around this time, 5 months ago, my period was supposed to start, but it never came. I was having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for around 6 months and nothing happened, so I stupidly believed one of us was infertile or something. Anyway, my period always came on time (28-33 days), it felt weird that the 33day mark was approaching, but I was having cramps so I thought my period was on its way. However, during the morning of the 34 day, I knew my biggest fear became true. I hadn't taken a pregnancy test yet, but I scheduled an appointment at the abortion clinic. I knew how far along I probably was. From the moment I suspected it, I knew I didn't want it. I talked to my bf about it and we went to take a beta HCG test. (I know, dramatic af) two hours later, it was confirmed. I was around 4-5 weeks along just like I imagined. I already had the appointment, so everything we could do was wait. We went to get an ultrasound to confirm the location of the sac the very same day, it was on my uterus. We both got to see the tiny sac, and I felt nothing. I was relieved it was exactly where it needed to be, so I didn't have to undergo a more complicated procedure. Some days later, I went to the clinic with my bf. It was on the January 21st. It was a Saturday. I took mife on the way home. It felt weird. I still live with my parents, and they are hella conservative and strict. They didn't even know I had a boyfriend let alone the fact that I was having sex, so it was all low-key scary. 2 days later, I took miso. I was at my bf's house, I bled nothing but some weird brown stuff. I bled so little that we got worried. We went for a follow up 2 days later, and they told us to wait it off. They gave us a week. During that week, I bled more and more, so I was hopeful. The day of the follow up, they told me the sac was completely gone, but I had some endometrial thickness of 11mm, so they scheduled me for a vacuum aspiration and labed my case as a failed MA. I got scared af. My boyfriend and I didn't know how to react. They also said I had to get a form of birth control to be put in the same day of the vaccum procedure. I chose to have a copper IUD. The day of the vaccum aspiration was a nightmare. I could feel everything. I was fully awake, and I was crying mid procedure. I got out of there crying, hating myself. I hated the fact that I had to come back 15 days later for ANOTHER follow up, so they could make sure the IUD was in the right place. I went there with my boyfriend again, and they said everything looked alright.
My period after the procedure and Copper IUD insertion
First period came 28 days after the vaccum aspiration, it lasted around 4 days, super heavy and painful. I can say that my period never got back to what it was, but it can be due to the IUD. My second period came 33 days later, I was so scared that I might've been pregnant again that I wanted to die. When it finally came, it lasted 4-5 days, painful asf and then brown discharge for around 6 days. My third period came 32 days later, less painful, but a bit heavy. It lasted around the same time, but the brown discharge lasted around 10-12 days. My last period came 31 days later, it was by far less painful, a bit heavy, it lasted around the same time than the rest, but I still have brownish discharge. It's been 10 days since I got it.
So yeah, I will never regret having my abortion, but it has been harsh to adapt to this new cycle dynamics. I miss my old cycles, but other than that, it's great.
I have to admit that even though I knew I wanted to terminate my pregnancy even before knowing for sure that I was pregnant, I did want to build some sort of connection with the fetus, but I couldn't. I couldn't feel anything. I still don't. I tried, trust me. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt, but I never felt like I could bond with the fetus or the idea thereof.
Sometimes it feels like it never even happened...
I'd be almost 6 months pregnant if I had chosen to keep it, but I didn't and I don't regret it.
Thanks for reading during all those days I posted like there was no tomorrow. I was anxious and you know how it gets. If you need to talk, dm me. I'll be happy to help. Or ask anything you want to know on the comments.
English is not my first language so I excuse myself for any misspellings

I’m never going to see him again and I wish I knew on that day 2 weeks ago that I’d still be regretting my lack of initiative. I’m so stupid.
Why do I feel like I’m in love with someone when I only know their first name. I feel like I’m crazy, I think most would consider this weird.
We both took a 2 day weekend class, I probably looked like an idiot half the time which makes me even more surprised he even bothered to introduce himself to me. God I wish I did more than just tell him my name.
I want to forget him because I have a huge exam coming up and he’s on my god damn mind all day long. Morning to night. Maybe even in my dreams. Of course only after I blew my chance is when I really started to notice him. I felt like I was being drawn in, his posture, his muscles, I started to think that something about him felt so comfortable to me, the way it seemed like he didn’t really talk to anyone either(which also reminded me a little of myself). I don’t understand this infatuation with a complete stranger, an acquaintance.
I feel like I broke my own heart. The only thing now that will find this man is if fate somehow crosses our paths once again. I don’t know if I can wait that long. I want to see him now. All these thoughts racing constantly, keeping me up at night, distracting me from my studies. I just really want to say “god, I want him” and it makes no sense, I don’t know anything, but I want to know everything.

Hey, I don’t remember how this was supposed to relate to you, but I figured the tug by your spirit meant something anyway. I mean, it’s not that you haven’t been present this whole time. I hate how loud you are and always were. I took that on, these lungs you gave me are the freight train of human anatomy. I just chose the flute, you chose…. fellatio? screaming? I don’t know; whatever would go into your mouth that could quiet the demons in your mind. I don’t think it mattered.
The difference between me and you is that I want to get better. I want to be genuinely loved by good people, and I know what and who is fake. I’m suspicious to a fault, and it makes me sad for my loved ones, honestly. In a recovery meeting the other day, we talked about how you can’t be responsible for another’s happiness and how others really just can’t relate to what you’ve been through unless they’ve experienced it themselves. You didn’t have the resources (or resourcefulness!) to learn that, which really makes sense for our shared sense of being misunderstood. Nobody in suburbia could relate to you— and even if they could, you didn’t feel safe enough to speak on it. You never felt safety, but you never sought it, either.
I constantly searched for what you couldn’t give me. Hell, did I ever really stop? My therapist pointed out to me that I was always drawn to better people, good people, people unlike you. Growing up, I knew what was happening to me was wrong. I was born with the survival instinct, I am my grandmother’s kin, who would I be if I went down without a fight? You did put the violent streak gene in me, but I’d always rather use it for good. I’d rather channel it into assertiveness, something you always confused with aggression. I have that too, but it’s only when I feel that my softness is threatened.
You turned the most tender- and valuable- parts of me into pieces that needed walls too early. I admired the fictional troupes of women who were so into protecting themselves and investing in their career that they had to be persuaded into love. I felt that way because my paper heart was born to love, to devote itself wholly into all forms of pleasure and beauty. But I was raised in a battlefield that showed me my own softness was an exposure of the underbelly to the enemy. I wanted to be “stronger” than my heart was, harder than my skin could ever be. It’s taken me over 2 decades to learn that “sensitive” isn’t a bad word.
You were scared of me and my power, weren’t you? That’s why you wanted to follow, leach, and enmesh, that’s why you tried to tear me down just enough, that’s why you wouldn’t allow me to be who I am. Both of you knew how smart I was, I am, how even the two of you combined still probably couldn’t best what I can do on my own. If you’re immature, that would be embarrassing. But honestly? The preschool kids I teach are better at math now than I was at their age, and will probably be better at it than I ever could be (especially since I have dyscalculia and English is my wheelhouse). And that makes me proud, and laugh all at once. I LIVE for irony, and the Universe rewards that often. Those kids didn’t even come out of me, why couldn’t you figure the same things out? I would die for any child in my care, because they deserve a chance at life. I’ve seen what I’ve seen, and meh! I’d give it all up if I had to, just for a kid’s chance to see for themselves. Who did that for me?
I’m with somebody now who puts an amazing effort into knowing, accepting, and accommodating me. I’ve never had a love like this, where they make a safe space for conflict and follow through on what they say they will. I am so comforted by his every intentional move that it makes me suspicious. I was only ever important to you in the context of you needing something or saving. But to him? I ask for it once, I even say it doesn’t have to be all that deep, and he double-delivers. When he lets me know his weekend schedules for the rest of the month. When he rubs my arm or thigh because he knows I’m tense. When he picks out the mango flavored drink because he knows it’s my favorite flavor of anything, even if I hadn’t said it in so long. When he thanks me for spending time with him and apologizes for the times I feel neglected. It’s the most healing and loving relationship I’ve ever been in. So why do you keep trying to insert yourself into it?
I guess you would’ve if you were still alive. You would’ve touched his hair without permission, made strange comments, probably asked for his vape, drank too much and said some dumbass embarrassing shit. Asked me too many invasive questions. Shit, you probably would’ve followed me out here and never left my studio. Your memory sure didn’t. I read something recently about not punishing your loved ones with the remaining pain of those that hurt you. Externalization is a thing, but to break it down that way is a lot different. Testing him with weird and vague questions isn’t productive for anyone involved. I know that. My love is pure enough to know the difference.
Like you said yourself: you were built to fight or fuck. But I was built to love. Somehow Darwin decided that the softest AND strongest genes were the winners here. My heart has always been big and I’m tired of blaming myself for people who don’t know how to handle it. I put my soul into what I care about. That doesn’t always come with appreciation, but that’s also often love. My kids tell me they love me 40 times a day, and I always say it back. The world NEEDS people like me, on a grand and small scale. Who else is gonna self-sacrifice for these kids? All I wanna do is give the world what you didn’t give me, because I think everyone deserves it. All you wanted to do was feel better, but you never got to experience community. That’s the true secret to healing.
We do miss you. We miss everything you could’ve been. So we did it, and you wouldn’t have been able to handle that anyway. I understand, yet I don’t. We can talk about it on the other side.

Well… feeling very frustrated but mostly sad after seeing most of my books damaged by my niece. Thankfully it was not a big collection( only about 15 books) because I usually read online but I was fantasising about starting a mini library with the ones I had and expanding it.
I’m not angry at my niece because I understand she’s only 4 and unintentionally did it , what I’m hurt by is the carelessness of my SIL after I specifically told her to supervise my niece if she goes into my room and to strictly let her play within the bounds of the living room. I had went out to meet my friend and get some takeout for all of us and came home to SIL awkwardly laughing at how there was a “ little accident “ with my books. Spoiler alert : It was not little ; there were a lot of scribblings , ripped pages and entire covers gone.
I was mortified and passive aggressively asked my SIL what she was doing when my niece was engaging in her creative ventures , and she was was like “ You can’t watch them all the time , I had some work on my phone “ and that I should have locked the door. She also didn’t think it was a big deal and found the whole situation “cute”.Not going to deny that I am also at fault for not securing my items while niece was over but that is why I explicitly asked SIL to keep an eye on her. Ugh no point crying over spilt milk now , will try to salvage the ones that are somewhat intact with tape or glue. P.S We usually meet at my parents house and this is the first time they visited after I moved in to a new area, which is why I was able to ward off the toddler destruction phase till now. Lesson learned gonna lock my room ( with an industrial grade padlock preferably) when niece visits again.

I need some help. I've never bought VIP tickets before but I did for this Parallax 2 tour when they were first announced months ago. I assumed I would have an email or some sort of proof or at least an account to sign into like I'm used to with Ticket Master. However, I have no such proof. I see that the BTBAM VIP website says to just show up an hour in advance with only the email used to purchase the VIP tickets so I guess that's literally all I need?
Additionally, because of the VIP tickets I will have a poster and other merch at the beginning of the show with nowhere to put them so I need a gameplan. I believe I saw mention once of renting a locker? Does anyone know how to go about doing that? Do I just call the venue in advance or something?
I need to sort this all out now because the show is out of state in Chicago, and I'll be stressed out enough navigating through that city I don't want any surprises or disappointments.

When this dude I met (we will call him Junior) and I got into a relationship not even a couple days in he developed feelings for this random girl (one of my friends “girlfriends”). I asked Junior about it and I told him to be truthful and he was, he told me he liked her so I broke up with him. A couple days later his friend and I were talking and he mentioned how Junior wanted to get back with me. So me being stupid, I did. Weeks go by of him and I dating and he introduces me to his friend which we will call Steve. Steve and I hung out together alone and also with Junior. Before y’all say anything I told Junior I was going to be hanging out with Steve and he didn’t really have a problem with it ( he said it was fine). Days go by and I came up with a idea. I came up with a plan about telling Junior I started liking Steve. Days go by and I finally told Junior and let’s just say he’s was mad. Obviously Junior and I broke up and I was stilling “talking” to Steve. Steve and Junior were both still friends through out this whole thing ( I have no clue how??😭I would be furious.). And just to add the extra topping, I started dating Steve. About a week into us dating we broke up because Juniors and I’s mutual friends were telling me to get back with him. Which I did… When we did get back together, the amount of Juniors friends that hated me was insane. Junior and I would have argument about everything that happened. I told him the reason why I did what I did and every time he would deny the part about liking the girl. Which now I can see why his friends did hate me; he wasn’t telling them the truth. Him and I did end up breaking up for many other reasons including that weeks later. It is now maybe a year or so later and let’s just say Junior and I still have some stories I am willing to share. I still talk to him now and than but his and mine relationship is over fully. But am I in the wrong for getting back at him months later? Or am I a cheater like his friends call me?

Having found this subreddit and other groups like it I’ve been getting a real blast from the past. From searching around it looks like most people discovered nudism in adulthood, and all accounts of naturist families are written from the parent’s perspective. I wanted to share the ups and downs of what actually being raised by naturists was like.
My parents were by no means hippies, we were a very average, respectable family. My parents met in university, around the time when they got into naturism. When they got married and moved to Victoria they made use of the surrounding nature, taking countless trips to nude beaches and secluded hiking spots. Growing up I remember them walking around usually unclothed, and never making us put on clothes unless we were in public.
The first time I really encountered nudism though was when I was 7 or 8. My parents asked my twin brother and I if we wanted to go swimming. We arrived at a large indoor pool with a waterside, wave pool, etc that was in my neighbourhood. We got unchanged, showered, and then my dad told us that we were gonna go and swim without our swimsuits. We were both shocked and embarrassed at the thought, and pleaded to him that we would be laughed at and kicked out. I hated the idea of strangers seeing me naked. My dad told us that this was different, and lead us out to the pool, where we found the rest of the swimmers naked as well. At the time it was the single most terrifying thing I’d ever done. I tried to cover myself, but my dad eventually convinced me into confidence.
After it was done my brother and I were both thrilled. Using water slides and swimming naked felt so rebellious. Every month after that I went with my parents to that pool, and each time I gained more confidence. I started using the jungle gym and rocking climbing wall with my dad, and talked to others at the pool. What I would later found out was the nudist club my parents belonged to was a very close-knit group. They were always incredibly welcoming and friendly to me. Every time after the swim, we would all go out for dinner. It felt like a solid community. When I got into swimming and diving I would always demonstrate at the swims.
It wasn’t just the indoor pool either, we took just as many trips to nude beaches, campsites and the secluded hiking trails I mentioned earlier. I attended each one with my parents. Some of the group’s organizers called me “the mascot”. My family took solos trips as well, I was never anything but excited to go on these trips. This was because to me being naked was never sexual or wrong, I only ever saw it as something freeing and fun. The group was like a secret club, I felt lucky to be one of the people who got to live this way.
This brings me to my actual point other than nostalgia. Being raised this way gave me nothing but confidence. I never had any neuroses about my body, even through puberty. I never had unrealistic expectations of women, and I was “desensitized” enough to not be distracted by girl’s shoulders. Like anything it had a few downsides, but nothing too bad. My parents kept a framed picture of me fully nude at prior beach in the living room that I had to get them to destroy when is started bringing girls over. It could feel isolating come from a family that did something this unorthodox as well. And people could be a little uncomfortable about my changing body when I was a teenager, but never anything terrible.
Although I wouldn’t consider myself a naturist today, it’s still a part of my childhood that shaped who I am. In conclusion, I’m too sure what the consensus is here, but speaking from experience the best way to raise your kids in that lifestyle is to let them do what comfortable but still encourage them. It will honestly do them good.
This was longer than I thought it’d be! Thanks for anyone who read, I’ll answer any questions.