Temecula valley hospital phone number
A place for redditors to heal
2010.12.17 00:53 abj A place for redditors to heal
Posts asking, “Is this broken?”, “Does this look broken?” Will immediately be taken down as a violation of rule 1.
2014.05.30 01:37 Life skills and healthy coping mechanisms for the ASD community.
Aspergirls is a place to share advice and tips for topics related to autism and self-improvement. We help with questions/struggles related to autism and life skills, personal growth, healthy coping mechanisms, etc. We are a support community, please remain civil at all times when posting here. Thank you!
2016.05.12 17:27 chillaxin4life Milwaukee's Bicycle Community
Welcome to Milwaukee's bike subreddit! From the urban commuters to the beach cruisers, everyone and their bike is welcome here for newbie advice, pro events, and everything in between! Bike maps and bike shops are listed in the wiki.
2023.06.01 13:47 drummer4j2 Help I can’t login without “a friend”. I have a new phone and new number. I need someone to use the help a friend to enter a code so I can access my account. Anyone?
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2023.06.01 13:46 MalcolmSolo Am I missing something here??
I went to the CDC page to see how many people are dying from COVID each week…and they don’t show that information. They give hospitalizations as a real number, 8k in a week. They give vaccinations as a percentage of the total population, and they provide that total. But when it comes to COVID deaths they again give a percentage of total deaths, but they don’t provide the total number… why??
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2023.06.01 13:45 CrazyChubWitch Let me rant please... a very long one
I resigned last year from one of the top 5 company in the country to start a business with my sister. It was a good job and a really high paying one, pero I decided to quit kase we were ordered to report back to office na, from "work from home set-up" and im living in Bulacan, usual travel time to BGC is about 2hours with car. Marami nanghihinayang sa decision ko, 1. kase my boss back then has a reputation as one of the cool boss in the company, which is true naman talaga, 2. My salary! I adjusted it 30% lower from my previous job kase nga we will just start and we are supposed to be partner ng sister ko, so sabi ko I will adjust it once operational na kame 3. Perks and bonuses in working in a big corporation 4. My sister's husband is a certified A-hole in the family, mayabang, mahilig mag powertrip and medyo bobo naman.
Despite those reasons, I still resigned kase sa akin, sister ko naman kausap ko... and our verbal agreement, sa akin ang company at client ko lang sila and I just need to return their investment and its profit once kumikita na (they are based abroad and non-Filipino citizen na) and since the industry we want to enter ang requirement sa owner should be Filipino Citizen, di din naman sila talaga pwede.
One year after my resignation, the government office is still processing my license, and hindi namin pwede galawin yung required na minimum start up money, while di kame approve, so wala pa ako sweldo and everything na nilalakad ang ginagastos ko are from my savings and the money I received as separation pay from my previous job.
and hindi na lang yung brother in law ko yung nagiging a-hole, even my sister, nahawa na at dine deny lahat ng verbal agreement namin, and started bullying me, by saying random negative stuff behind my back. good thing, my other sister na dati na nilang partner, was being fair at sya yung nag papatunay ng mga original namin na pag uusap. And yung mga employee nya dito who were victims of her husband powertripping nasa akin ang loyalty, kaya pag may any instructions sila against me, naka report na agad sa akin.
they are showing na yung power tripping ability nila. Asking their staff to get the money from me to buy a car, eh hindi ko nga kinukuha salary ko kase required na intact yung capital namin. And some other stuff na sa iba tao nila pinapadaan and not directly to me. Ngayon, they are trying to get rid of our other sister, kase nga pinagtatanggol ako.
I have a best friend na lawyer na from the start, hinihingian ko advise, he told me pa nung una yung original namin pag uusap masyado ako lugi pero ang reason ko is kapatid ko naman and at the same time wala nga ako pinirmahan na naka receive ako malaki halaga sa kanila so dapat i return their trust.
Then narinig nung mag asawa na may kino consult ako lawyer (which wala talaga malisya pag consult ko- barkada consultation lang) they tried to established kung totoo ako may lawyer. When I told my lawyer friend, he told me give them his number and email, he will talk to them, kase wala nga sila proof na binigyan nila ko puhunan, pero wala ako plan itakbo at sila yung nag breach sa agreement namin. Pero they just asked din naman yung staff nila to call my lawyer hahah. That's 1 thing about my brother in law, mayabang pero wala balls and my sister don't like face to face confrontation.
Btw, pinatigil ko yung construction ng bahay ko, kase nga na hold na yung pera ko sa company, so im just renting right now. And my 86years old father and my youngest sister na pwd are living with me, and i don't receive any help from anyone for a long time now. Yung iba ko siblings were helping me before pandemic, pero natigil. Pero my "investor sister" never help me with my father's gastusin kahit naospital sya last december and nandito sila buo pamilya, they didn't even visited my father in the hospital nga eh. Pero may photo ops sila palagi and press release of how they are supporting a foundation. May mga post pa palagi on social media, na advocacy nila tumulong sa mga friends and relatives in need.
Pang asar lang - i posted a photo of my father holding 2boxes of urostomy bags, he received as donation from an NGO. How ironic na they keep on posting in socmed how they want to help other people pero ni hindi nila kinukumusta yung tao inside their own backyard...
I don't know ano yung magiging endgame, we will have a formal meeting on June 7, maybe I will ask my lawyer friend to be there coz i feel so emotional. Wish me luck!
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2023.06.01 13:45 grahambuilders Construction companies in Oahu
2023.06.01 13:43 geetanjalicommercial The Endless Opportunities for Growth at M3M Atrium 57 Commercial
| https://preview.redd.it/0mbv5s0u7e3b1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7383b65f0fc4c8550573f5e5f210fd687199dee3 M3M Atrium 57 Commercial is a state-of-the-art commercial project located in the heart of Gurgaon. It is a mixed-use development that offers a variety of opportunities for businesses of all sizes. The project is located in a prime location, close to major transportation hubs, educational institutions, and hospitals. It is also surrounded by a number of residential neighborhoods, providing a captive audience for businesses. M3M Atrium 57 Commercial offers a variety of amenities that are designed to attract and retain businesses, including: - High-speed internet: M3M Atrium 57 Commercial offers high-speed internet access, ensuring that businesses have the connectivity they need to succeed.
- Security: M3M Atrium 57 Commercial is a secure development, with 24/7 security and CCTV surveillance.
- Sustainability: M3M Atrium 57 Commercial is a sustainable development, with features such as solar panels and rainwater harvesting.
- Flexibility: M3M Atrium 57 Commercial offers a variety of lease terms, so businesses can find the option that best suits their needs.
M3M Atrium 57 Commercial is a great place for businesses to grow. It offers a prime location, a variety of amenities, and endless opportunities for success. Here are some of the benefits of setting up your business at M3M Atrium 57 Commercial: - Prime location: M3M Atrium 57 Commercial is located in the heart of Gurgaon, making it easily accessible to customers and partners.
- Amenities: M3M Atrium 57 Commercial offers a variety of amenities that can help your business run smoothly, such as high-speed internet, security, and sustainability features.
- Flexibility: M3M Atrium 57 Commercial offers a variety of lease terms, so you can find the option that best suits your needs.
- Opportunities for growth: M3M Atrium 57 Commercial is a growing community with a vibrant economy, providing endless opportunities for your business to grow.
If you are looking for a place to set up your business that offers a prime location, a variety of amenities, and endless opportunities for growth, then M3M Atrium 57 Commercial is the perfect choice for you. submitted by geetanjalicommercial to u/geetanjalicommercial [link] [comments] |
2023.06.01 13:30 try_a_place ❤️ Best Nails in Bartlett, TN 38134 Try best nail salons in Tennessee
| https://preview.redd.it/vdfqladm6e3b1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=0256b6fdeb37ee82657b9c8110814b593a5521e5 ❤️ Best Nails in Bartlett, Tennessee 38134, United States with ⏰ hours, address, map, directions, prices, photos, ☎️ phone, reviews…One of the best nail salons in Tennessee. Have you ever been to this beauty salon? If you haven’t gone yet, you should check it out! About Best Nails in Bartlett, TN 38134 If you live in Bartlett, Tennessee, and are looking for a nail salon, you might want to check out Best Nails. This salon has been around for years and is known for its good service and friendly staff. Best Nails can give you a manicure, a pedicure, gel polish, or nail art, and more… ❤️You can experience happiness by going to Best Nails 38134, which is located ⭐at 2732 Bartlett Blvd, Bartlett, TN 38134.✅ There is the address of the business. If anything about the address, phone number, website, or fan page is wrong or has changed, please let us know… Tell us to make sure everyone knows about this favorite place. Have a good time! https://preview.redd.it/zfbglzbn6e3b1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=bde2a9d28c869e92c70281da90fd9ceeb85485a3 Beauty lovers also search: nail salons 38134, nail salons in Bartlett, nail salons in Tennessee, best nail salons in Bartlett, best nail salons in Tennessee, best nail salon marketing services in Bartlett, best nail salon marketing services in Tennessee – If you don’t try, you’ll never know where the best places near you are! Please like our posts, comment on them and share them. Keep in touch with us through our Facebook Fanpage, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Reddit, and LinkedIn…to get the latest news, especially about discounts and coupons for services near you. Source: Google Business Profile Facebook Instagram Yelp. submitted by try_a_place to u/try_a_place [link] [comments] |
2023.06.01 13:30 Rinpop37 Can someone please send me some good vibes
I spent 9 hours at the hospital last night because I've lost the ability to feel pain in my whole body, didn't get home until 4am and now just have to wait around for a neurologist to call sometime in the next week. Then I decided to try to go to bed early tonight to rest and my phone decided to turn off and won't turn back on. Please send me some good energy because I don't think I can handle anything else going wrong this week
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2023.06.01 13:27 Jayless22 Out of all flags and coat of arms, I think Japan got some really nice ones (my favorites).
2023.06.01 13:24 Comfortable-Dot-2317 Well Shit.
2023.06.01 13:21 eZGjBw1Z New and Changed Products - June 2023
Usually around the first of the month we have a batch of price changes and this month is no different. According to the "
How to Become a Contract Liquor Agent" document, "The Agent must also complete price changes that occur at the first of the month..."
Number of Price Increases: 2 Number of Price Decreases: 136 Number of New Products: 44 Number of Status Changes: 4
I plan to reply to this post throughout the month if I notice other significant changes happening or at the end of the month before the next update to keep the changes in one place. Here's a link back to what changed in May 2023:
American Whiskey, Brandy, Canadian Whiskey, Cordial, Gin, and Irish Whisky,
Rum, Scotch, Tequila, and Vodka.
For each category I've sorted by the amount of the price increase or decrease. New products are shown first, then price decreases are shown in decreasing order followed by price increases in increasing order. At the end are products with other changes unrelated to price.
Current product status is indicated on each line as follows. OHLQ hasn't publicly explained what these things mean but I've included my best guess below.
- A = Active
- Regularly supplied and available for purchase
- D = De-Listed
- No longer carried by OHLQ, may still be available in some stores or the warehouse. Sometimes considered a Last Call product
- I = Inactive
- Discontinued by the supplier or otherwise unavailable to OHLQ
- S = Special Order
- Regularly available but in limited supply. Not available in very many stores
- V = Value-Added-Pack
- Bottle comes with some kind of extra gift like a glass/mug/etc
American Whiskey
Brandy
Canadian Whiskey
Cordial
Gin
Irish Whisky
Rum
Scotch
Tequila
Vodka
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eZGjBw1Z to
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2023.06.01 13:21 lockyourtrip05 National Tour Package - What Can You Do At Khangchendzonga National Park For An Ultimate Escape
| https://preview.redd.it/nh9b06t25e3b1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7d681bcc6a5ff7bd1da4fe06af22312bec84b80 This park, also known as the Kanchenjunga Biosphere Reserve, is the pinnacle of the beauty of nature. Khangchendzonga National Park is one of the few high-altitude national parks in the nation and was just added to UNESCO's list of World Heritage Sites. If you are a nature lover type person then you should visit this place with our National Tour Package. Along with the third-highest mountain in the world, Mt. Kanchenjunga, which dominates the park and its surroundings, the region is home to fantastic glaciers, pristine lakes, lush valleys, and a variety of endangered plants and animals. You can visit Lake Menmecho, where coniferous trees surround the body of water, adding to its mystic allure; gaze in awe at the piercing crevices of Mt. Rathong; wait patiently for the fog to lift so you can see the Zemu Glacier, one of the largest on the continent, at a length of 26 km; see the Famrong Waterfall fall with otherworldly graceful intensity; and see the park's protector, Mt. Things To do At Khangchendzonga National Park There are many amazing things to explore in The Khangchendzonga National Park if you love to discover wildlife. If you enjoy exploring new places then you can go hiking along beautiful trails where you can see lovely rhododendron trees, the moving water of Samiti Lake, and more. Most of these things are already pre-planned in our National Tour Package itinerary. 1. Explore Goechala Goechala, one of the highest mountain passes in the Himalayas at 4947 metres, is a well-liked destination for visitors to Sikkim. The starting point of the trek is Yuksom, which serves as the base. With gorgeous rhododendron trees, peaceful peaks, and Samiti Lake's flowing water, the trek is renowned for being an aesthetic delight. Book now : Group tour packages 2. Khecheopalri Lake This lake, which is in West Sikkim and is about 150 kilometres from Gangtok, is particularly significant to both Buddhists and Hindus. Every year, thousands of tourists come here between the months of March to October. Don't overlook visiting this Buddhist pagoda close to the well-known Khecheopalri Lake. Visiting this lake is one of the best things that you can do on your trip with the National Tour Package. 3. Yuksom Valley A tranquil, quiet community at the summit of Khangchendzonga National Park. It is well-liked by pilgrims and tourists. February to November is the ideal time to travel to this place. Only an hour's walk separates the village from Dubdi Monastery, one of the oldest Sikkim monasteries.20% Discount on Adventure tour packages Flora and Fauna In Khangchendzonga National Park Khangchendzonga National Park, which was established in 1977 and covers an area of 1750 sq km, has the benefit of being situated in a remote area of Sikkim. As a result, it is a pristine habitat for flora and fauna and a delight for tourists. Flora The national park's blossoming Floar usually can be seen in three zones: - Mild Broadleaf Forest- Species like Quercus Lineata, Acer campbellii, and Juglans Regia can be found in this type of forest.
- Mixed Coniferous Forest- This type of forest is home to Rhododendrons, Junipers, and Abies Densa.
- Alpine Vegetation- Common herbs and medicinal plants like Picrorhiza and Rheum emodi are found in this type.
BOOK NOW : International tour package Fauna Snow leopards, red pandas, blue sheep, barking deer, Marmont monkeys, musk deer, wild dogs, and rodents are just a few of the diverse and endangered mammal species that live in this beautiful park. If you are a wildlife lover then you don’t have to think for a sec to visit this place with the National Tour Package. The area is also home to reptiles like rat snakes and Russell's vipers. Avifauna In Sikkim, there are more than 500+ bird species and subspecies. Monal pheasants, Tragopan pheasants, Ospreys, Asian emerald Cuckoos, Sunbirds, Now Pigeons, Tibetan Snow Cocks, Himalayan Griffons, Lammergeiers, Forest Eagle Owls, Falcons, and Rock Pigeons are just a few of them. Bird lovers should never miss a chance to explore this place with our National Tour Package. In the winter when upper altitudes are covered in snow, birds descend to lower altitudes. In this area, a new species of Himalayan forest thrush known scientifically as Zoothera salimalii was discovered in 2016. BOOK NOW : Singapore tour packages Accommodation At Khangchendzonga National Park The Forest Rest Houses are the best option for tourists because Sikkim's hospitality sector is still growing. These forest rest houses at the Range office offer comfortable lodging options for its visitors. Homestays and respectable cheap hotels are additional choices. Some of the cosiest and most well-liked tourist destinations include the Khangchendzonga Conservation Committee, Hotel Yak, Trekkers Hut, Hotel 10zing, and Hotel Tashigang. If you don’t want to worry bout accommodation in your trip then you can book your trip with our National Tour Package. After reading about the magnificent Khangchendzonga National Park, be sure to include it in your trip to Sikkim. Plan your trip to Sikkim and take a unique experience if you're looking for a more individualised experience! submitted by lockyourtrip05 to u/lockyourtrip05 [link] [comments] |
2023.06.01 13:20 ethMINERICA GXMBLE Casino Review (2023) - Welcome Bonus up to $2500
https://betatesports.net/Betting%20Sites/gxmble-casino/ Pros of GXMble Casino:
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2023.06.01 13:18 geetanjalicommercial The Vibrant and Energetic Community of M3M IFC Sector 66 Gurgaon
| M3M IFC Sector 66 Gurgaon is a vibrant and energetic community that is home to a diverse group of people from all walks of life. The community is known for its sense of community and its commitment to giving back to the city. There are a number of things that make M3M IFC Sector 66 such a vibrant community. First, the community is very diverse. Residents come from all over India and the world, bringing with them a variety of cultures and perspectives. This diversity is one of the things that makes M3M IFC Sector 66 such a vibrant and interesting place to live. Second, the community is very active. There are a number of clubs and organizations that residents can join, including a book club, a running club, and a yoga club. There are also a number of events that are held throughout the year, such as a community Diwali festival and a community Christmas party. Third, the community is very giving. Residents are always looking for ways to give back to the city. They volunteer at local schools and hospitals, and they donate to local charities. This commitment to giving back is one of the things that makes M3M IFC Sector 66 Gurgaon such a special place. If you are looking for a vibrant and energetic community that is full of life, M3M IFC Sector 66 is a great option. Here are some of the things you can do in the community: - Join a club or organization: There are a number of clubs and organizations that residents can join, including a book club, a running club, and a yoga club.
- Attend an event: There are a number of events that are held throughout the year, such as a community Diwali festival and a community Christmas party.
- Volunteer your time: Residents are always looking for ways to give back to the city. They volunteer at local schools and hospitals, and they donate to local charities.
- Meet new people: M3M IFC Sector 66 is a very diverse community, so you are sure to meet new people from all walks of life.
If you are looking for a vibrant and energetic community that is full of life, M3M IFC Sector 66 Gurgaon is a great option and you can call me 9759843816 submitted by geetanjalicommercial to u/geetanjalicommercial [link] [comments] |
2023.06.01 13:15 AutoModerator June Hardware Thread.
Here is a monthly thread about hardware.
You came here or were sent here because you're wondering/intending to buy some new hardware.
If you're comfortable picking motherboards and power supplies? You want
buildapcvideoediting A sub $1k or $600 laptop? We probably can't help. Prices change frequently. Looking to get it under $1k?
Used from 1 or 2 years ago is a better idea. General hardware recommendations
Desktops over laptops. - i7 chip is where our suggestions start.. Know the generation of the chip. 12xxx is this year's chipset - and a good place to start. More or less, each lower first number means older chips. How to decode chip info.
- A video card with 2+GB of VRam. 4 is even better.
- An SSD is suggested - and will likely be needed for caching.
- Stay away from ultralights/tablets.
No, we're not debating intel vs. AMD, etc.
This thread is for helping people - not the debate about this month's hot CPU. The top-of-the-line AMDs are better than Intel,
certainly for the $$$.
Midline AMD processors struggle with h264. A "great laptop" for "basic only" use doesn't really exist; you'll need to transcode the footage (making a much larger copy) if you want to work on oldeunderpowered hardware. ----------------------
We think the
nVidia Studio System chooser is a quick way to get into the ballpark.
---------------
If you're here because your system isn't responding well/stuttering?
Action cam, Mobile phone, and screen recordings can be difficult to edit, due to h264/5 material (especially 1080p60 or 4k) and Variable Frame rate. Footage types like 1080p60, 4k (any frame rate) are going to stress your system. When your system struggles, the way that the
professional industry has handled this for
decades is to use Proxies.
Wiki on Why h264/5 is hard to edit.
How to make your older hardware work?
Use proxies Proxies are a copy of your media in a lower resolution and possibly a "friendlier" codec.
It is important to know if your software has this capability. A
proxy workflow more than any other feature, is what makes editing high frame rate, 4k oand h264/5 footage possible.
Wiki on Proxy editing.
If your source was a screen recording or mobile phone, it's likely that it has a
variable frame rate. In other words, it changes the amount of frames per second, frequently, which editorial system don't like.
Wiki on Variable Frame Rate -----------
Is this particular laptop/hardware for me?
If you ask about specific hardware,
don't just link to it. Tell us the following key pieces:
- CPU + Model (mac users, go to everymac.com and dig a little)
- GPU + GPU RAM (We generally suggest having a system with a GPU)
- RAM
- SSD size.
Some key elements
- GPUS generally don't help codec decode/encode.
- Variable frame rate material (screen recordings/mobile phone video) will usually need to be conformed (recompressed) to a constant frame rate. Variable Frame Rate.
- 1080p60 or 4k h264/HEVC? Proxy workflows are likely your savior. Why h264/5 is hard to play.
- Look at how old your CPU is. This is critical. Intel Quicksync is how you'll play h264/5.
See our
wiki with other common answers.
Are you ready to buy? Here are the key specs to know:
Codec/compressoin of your footage? Don't know?
Media info is the way to go, but if you don't know the codec, it's likely H264 or HEVC (h265).
Know the
Software you're going to use Compare your hardware to the system specs below. CPU, GPU, RAM.
-----
Again, if you're coming into this thread exists to help people get working systems, not champion intel, AMD or other brands. --—
Apple Specific
If you're thinking Apple -
This the key article you want The TL;DR? Here's the key info for people who are thinking of themselves as media professionals:
Pick Mobile or Desktop. Then it's about what meets your budget. Prices are indicated based on Apple's site in the US as of Feb 6, 2023. The details (such as cores or RAM) is so you can match the pricing.
- "I want a laptop as my sole system." The MacBook Pro 16 inch @ $3899. This is the M2 Max 12 Cores. 64 GB of RAM. 1 TB SSD. Great screen. Three Thunderbolt Ports.
- "I want the cheapest laptop - but I need it functional" - MacBook Pro 13 inch @ $2099. M2 8 cores. 24 GB of RAM. 1 TB SSD. Two Thunderbolt Ports
- "I want a solid desktop system.". The MacStudio @ $2799 M1 Max 10 Cores. 64 GB of RAM. 1 TB SSD. Four Thunderbolt Ports.
- "I need a sub $2k desktop - but it needs to be functional." The MacMini @ $1899. M2Pro 10 Core. 32 GB of RAM. 1 TB SSD. Four Thunderbolt Ports
------
Monitors
What's most important is % of sRGB (rec 709) coverage. LED < IPS < OLEDs. Sync means less than size/resolution. Generally 32" @ UHD is about arm's length away.
And the color coverage has more to do with
Can I see all the colors, not
Is it color accurate. Accurate requires a probe (for
video) alongside a way to load that into the monitor (not the OS.)
----
If you've read all of that, start your post/reply: "I read the above and have a more nuanced question:
And copy (fill out) the following information as needed:
My system
My media
- (Camera, phone, download)
- Codec
- Don't know what this is? See our wiki on Codecs.
- Don't know how to find out what you have? MediaInfo will do that.
- Know that Variable Frame rate (see our wiki) is the #1 problem in the sub.
- Software I'm using/intend to use:
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2023.06.01 13:13 Malachitourandtravel Malachi Tours: Best taxi service in Delhi
2023.06.01 13:13 sertralineenjoyer (UK) just got this in the mail, guessing it's so they don't violate autistic people. anyone else in the uk got it?
2023.06.01 13:10 loganwadams Getting a refund
I was able to get a return label using their email address provided on their website. The item was returned on May 25th (well within 30 days of having the item), yet I have not yet received a refund. They have completely ghosted me by not responding to my emails either. Do they have a phone number somewhere that I am completely missing?
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2023.06.01 13:08 Famous_Philosophy_70 Im (38m) being taken for granted by my partner (38f). Grief lead to gaslighting, is she exempt from basic relationship functions?
Throwaway. Please don't share to the socials, her or her kid will see it. Super long post sorry.
I'm not entirely sure where to start. Been together 1.5 years. At the beginning this was a relationship we've both waited our whole lives for. But as time goes on you get to find out things and sometimes you can't help but question everything.
Ive always been the one in the relationship that supports harder, understands better and has more patience when things aren't all rosey. An empath. My partner's had a lot of stress in her life which seems to follow her everywhere. Her 13 year old kid has undiagnosed adhd which also brings stress, but that can be totally managed with love and patience (the dad has never ever been around). But like I say, I picked up the slack with everyday things, lightened the load and the burdens which I was always happy to do. I felt like if roles were reversed she would have supported me the same way.
Things started getting rocky when I found out she was a secret smoker and sneakily hiding it from me, but hiding it mostly from her kid. I had an inkling about it anyway but it was never confirmed until a few months in. I'm against smoking but can understand if people need a stress relief. It wasn't a big deal but the sneakiness of it all effected me. I let her know this and we had arguments about it but she never really budged. She did quit for 3 weeks but gave in and refused my help and support so I had to get used to the idea. I did. Because I told myself i love her.
Anyways a few months later things went further south. Her phone started going off at all hours in the night. I confronted her and she just said it was Instagram notifications. I believed her. But it kept happening. One night in bed it woke me up as it buzzed like 6 times in a row. I snooped (no lectures please I already know it's bad) and saw that it was a guy she used to date basically booty calling her with messages on Snapchat (queue the Snapchat haters brigade. Kids and drug dealers use it a lot- more on that later). I also saw that there was a half naked picture of her saved in his chat from a week after our first date. My senses left me and I replied as her, asking when was the last time they spoke. Months ago apparently. But I still felt betrayed. She woke up early that morning, walked the dog and obviously knew what had happened. She said nothing though, because her mother was dying and actually passed away that afternoon. This was January, not very long ago I know.
This obviously shook everything to the core and became the number one focus. Despite my feeling about what I found I only had focus on supporting her. So I did and learned to get over it in time by throwing myself into being her rock. It's been an obvious harrowing time since. But I showed up every day, offered her space, picked up the slack at home (we don't live together but I've stayed over almost every day of every week since), covered bills and food, took care of her kid and dog and all despite her attempts to push me away.
Now here's the part in having trouble working out.
I set my boundaries and early on. Drugs, cheating and lies are all deal-breakers. She understood this. In February I began to feel in my gut that she was taking coke. Her ex was a dealer and I know she used to do it with him. She told me she had been free of them for a year when we got together. These gut feelings wouldn't budge. Having never taken drugs or been around it i did some research/asked friends and some things added up. So I went looking. And found a bag of coke, a bank card and rolled up paper in a jewelry box under her nightstand. When confronted she said she didn't know it was there and it was from before she moved house a year ago. I didn't believe her but she gaslit me (didn't recognise this at the time please go easy on me) into thinking I was wrong for snooping and not trusting her. She brought up me going through her phone too, said she knew all along and was gonna let it go until I went looking. We sorted it I forgave her (gaslit) and she told me she got rid of it.
When I snooped her phone the first time, I saw messages to her friends asking to buy drugs. Never knew it was that at the time. A codename was used and I didn't really understand what the codename meant until way later when it was referred to as cocaine on some twitter post. Given her sneaky behaviour and what I found I snooped her phone again a few weeks after finding the coke. Confirmed she wanted to buy them the night before (the night i first snooped on her phone) and within the few weeks that her mother died. I also found that she had changed that guy's name on her Snapchat and was still talking to him. After she said she'd deleted him and the picture. Wounded. I was definitely ending the relationship after this.
But yet again she got that torch out and made me feel like I was equally to blame for going through her phone again, says it's a form of domestic abuse and we are both in the wrong. She admitted speaking to the guy, I told her it was emotionally cheating and she obliterated my boundaries but she said she never ended up buying the drugs. After a long talk we agreed to put it behind us. On my part she was still grieving and I know it makes people do things out of character.
Fast forward a few weeks. I hear her and her kid in the kids room acting suspicious. A lot of hushing a lot of laughing and a lot of coughing as if someone has inhaled something too quick. They're vaping together. I know it. We were out in the car and stopped by the store before hand. The kid definitely asked for a vape via text. The kid says to me let's drive around the corner to hide, but what she really did was make sure i dont see her mother buying vapes. I confront her after hearing them locked in the bedroom. But she lies to my face. I stew in silence. I can not be apart of a relationship where she's giving her kid a nicotine addiction. I confront her again. Gaslight. How dare I accuse her of doing something like that when I snooped through her phone twice. The next day we made up. Some pattern huh? Even writing this I can't believe I've put up with it.
For the last 2 weeks all this betrayal has consumed me, along with the lies and everything else. This is where I've figured out about the gaslighting. Not at the time unfortunately but just in the past couple of weeks. All the while supporting her through grief and domestic duties to make sure nothing is a burden too much. Mostly without thanks but I do it because I wanted to be here. The best thing ive done was encourage her to go to therapy which she has been doing. But I'm running on empty here. I'm close to breaking down and when I try and say I need space to myself or even express that I feel like a doormat at times I'm not listened to. My feelings aren't important. I mean they're not as important as her grieving but I'm pretty sure I'm important too right?
Why am I staying with her? Because she's going through hell after losing her mother, something I'm yet to feel or even fathom out. And despite her shit treatment of me I cannot give up on someone who is on their knees emotionally on a daily basis. But I'm close to breaking point and I'm not sure how I can support her further after constantly disrespecting my feelings. I'm not sure if I can trust this version of her.
So basically, have any of you guys experienced anything at all similar when it comes to grief or their partners grief? Do I stick out the storm and when it's less raw will things start to improve? Or am I fighting a losing battle? Remove the bad times since her mother passed and it was great. We wanted to settle forever. But now I'm only still with her sold on that future and because I know grief is absolutely incredibly awful and it's not her for the most part. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect and am to blame for some of the things we argue over. But I feel like I'm instantly accountable and want to make it right a lot quicker than her. Currently arguing over her lack of basic communication skills that I ask for but she never updates me on.
I'm too old to be having this sort of relationship anxiety. I'm booking myself into therapy this week before things become a lot worse for my MH.
Thanks guys, sorry it's so long.
TLDR: Is grief making my partner gaslight me and over step my boundaries. And if so has anyone had a similar experience, did it get better after a while.
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2023.06.01 13:08 Particular_Regret820 Paranoia or a real cause for concern?
Hello, Reddit community! I'm reaching out to you today because I've been going through some unsettling experiences lately, and I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid or if there's a genuine reason for concern. I would appreciate your insights and advice.
It all started during the lockdown period when I was feeling lonely and ended up making friends with people involved in criminal activities. However, once I started working, I made the decision to distance myself from those negative influences. That's when things began to take a strange turn.
A few months after cutting ties with these individuals, I started receiving anonymous phone calls on a monthly basis. Curiosity got the better of me one time, and I picked up the phone, only to hear an unfamiliar voice disclosing personal details about my workplace and my behavior. Naturally, this left me quite unsettled. I took the necessary precautions by changing my phone number, hoping to put an end to these strange occurrences.
Months later, however, while I was out shopping, someone approached me and asked if a certain old friend of mine was part of my family. I was taken aback and questioned why they thought that. The person claimed that they had seen me together with this old friend, but that simply wasn't true. This incident further fueled my growing paranoia.
Just two weeks after that incident, I observed some suspicious-looking individuals lurking near my workplace while I was taking a nap. I thought I overheard them discussing plans to harm someone. Needless to say, this intensified my already heightened state of paranoia. Yet, as the months passed, nothing actually happened, and I tried to move forward with my life.
However, the situation took another disturbing turn when I visited a prostitute the following year. Once again, I received an anonymous call, this time in Turkish, my native language, even though I'm currently residing in another country. The caller accused me of repeatedly contacting their number and threatened to ruin my life. This encounter deeply unsettled me, reinforcing the feeling that someone has been searching for me for years.
Adding to my growing concerns, just yesterday, I noticed a suspicious-looking individual in a car staring at me intently for a solid five minutes without averting his gaze. This incident left me feeling extremely unsettled and concerned for my safety.
Now, Reddit, I turn to you for advice and perspective. Am I simply being paranoid, or do these experiences warrant genuine concern? Should I consider leaving the country to ensure my safety? Your insights and guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all in advance for taking the time to read and respond.
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