I'm an Australian/Canadian guy who did an exchange in São Paulo back in university. However, I got to travel to Curitiba, Rio, Espirito Santo, Bahia, Ceará and Brasília too. While I was there, I got to experience all sides of Brazil, culturally and socioeconomically. I volunteered at an NGO in a comunidade (favela) in São Paulo 4-5 times per week for two months, though I was living in Vila Olímpia. In Canada, people were telling me so many negative, racist and discriminatory things prior to leaving. I was told I would be kidnapped, robbed, maybe killed. I was told that this trip would make me more grateful to be Canadian and that I need to be careful of people who want to use me for a green card. However, my experience in Brazil was absolutely incredible and changed my outlook on life forever. The word that describes Brazilian people for me is "resilience". Regardless of their social class, most Brazilians are aware of the issues in their country, but will find ways to make the most of what they have and enjoy life. A balance of practicality with joie de vivre. I was expecting to witness brutal misery and poverty before going to the comunidade. However, I realized that many people there did many of the same things everyone else does. Go to school, go out on weekends, spend time with family and friends. The only differences were that Brazil has so much more culture than Canada (music, dancing, art, etc.), and that the infrastructure and technology was more outdated. However, I saw a much stronger sense of joy, community and togetherness in all sides of Brazil than I have ever seen in Canada. I was left feeling confused as to why I was volunteering in a comunidade. I felt like the locals were teaching me so much more about life and survival than I could ever teach them. It made me realize that Westerners sacrifice so much of their happiness and connection for ridiculously high standards for everything. Is it really necessary? When I returned to Canada, I struggled to adapt back to life there. People smiled less, socialized less, hugged less. I couldn't call up a friend and ask to hang out spontaneously, because everyone in Canada always make you feel like you're bothering them for wanting to have fun. I got in trouble for showing up to work 5 minutes late. People at school were talking as if their lives were over if they got a B on an exam. Meanwhile, I met people in Brazil who'd never get the chance to go to university who were happier than my classmates. Being raised in Canada made me believe that financial success and a successful career would give me what I wanted most. Warmth, connection, community and happiness. However, Brazil taught me that I can be resilient and happy in almost any environment as long as you bring a sense of humour and fun to everything you do. Despite Brazil's many issues, people there know how to take care of each other in small ways that Canadians have not learned. A bonus for living in Brazil is the amazing sense of humour and the people's openness to campy behaviour. Brazilians know how to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously, which I appreciate. Canadians have wealth and education, but they have absolutely no clue how to feel alive and enjoy themselves.

Skill development plays a crucial role in school education, and it is recognised as an essential aspect of holistic learning. The best CBSE school in Dehradun,like in many other places, understand the significance of skill development and integrate it into their curriculum. Here are some reasons why skill development is important in school education:
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1. Holistic Development: Skill development goes beyond academic knowledge and focuses on developing a well-rounded individual. It nurtures various aspects such as cognitive, social, emotional, creative, and physical skills. By emphasizing skill development, CBSE schools in Dehradun ensure that students receive a comprehensive education.
   
2. Future Readiness: The world is rapidly changing, and the skills required for success in the future are evolving as well. By incorporating skill development in their curriculum, the top CBSE schools in Dehradun equip students with the necessary skills to thrive in an ever-changing world. Skills such as critical thinking, problem-solving, communication, collaboration, adaptability, and leadership are fostered, enabling students to become future-ready.
   
3. Practical Application: Skill development focuses on the practical application of knowledge. It encourages students to apply what they have learned in real-life situations, fostering a deeper understanding and enhancing their ability to transfer knowledge across different contexts. This practical approach prepares students to tackle real-world challenges and be more effective in their careers.
   
4. Enhancing employability: In today's competitive job market, academic qualifications alone may not be sufficient. Employers seek individuals with a diverse set of skills that go beyond theoretical knowledge. CBSE schools in Dehradun, through skill development initiatives, help students develop skills that are highly valued by employers, increasing their employability prospects.
   
5. Self-Exploration and Confidence: Skill development provides opportunities for students to explore their interests, strengths, and passions. It encourages them to step out of their comfort zones, try new things, and discover their talents. Through this process, students gain confidence in their abilities and develop a positive self-image, which is essential for personal growth and success.
   
6. Lifelong Learning: Skill development fosters a love for learning and encourages students to become lifelong learners. It instills in them a growth mindset, where they perceive challenges as opportunities for growth and are motivated to continuously acquire new skills and knowledge throughout their lives.
   

Overall, skill development in school education, implemented by the best CBSE school in Dehradun, Uttrakhand, is crucial for preparing students to thrive in the dynamic and competitive world. It ensures their holistic development, future readiness, practical application of knowledge, enhanced employability, self-exploration, confidence building, and a lifelong learning attitude.

My boyfriend [25] and I [18 F] were together for almost a month before he suddenly broke up with me. We’ve known each other for a few months now through an online game though I dated one of his online friends first for literally a week. Before the homie hopping comments come in, it’s not that serious, they didn’t know each other irl and loved states away. They weren’t that close, they just gamed together on occasion, and when I met them, they happened to be gaming together. Let’s call my boyfriend Ryan. He’s so amazing. I love him with every fiber of my being. I have aggressive trauma from past issues with relationships and abuse as a child. When Ryan and I started dating, I wrote all of these issues and stuff down and sent it to him. I expressed that I was a little clingy, extremely insecure and cried a lot because I get overwhelmed easily. I laid out every one of my flaws so he could back out of the relationship if he couldn’t handle it, because I’ve been burned too many times by men who realize I’m too high maintenance, which is fine, I get that not everyone can dedicate time to someone like me, but it doesn’t negate the pain of rejection. Ryan, being the perfect guy he is, accepted me, my flaws and trauma and all. However, he has issues too. He’s insecure about his ability to make a girl truly happy and kept insisting that I deserved someone better, someone who was closer (for context, he lives an hour away from me. Not what I’d necessarily consider long distance but with his schedule for work and me still being in school, it’s a concern). I had the tendency to not really compare him to my exes, but ask that he not do things that they did, like leave me and shame me for my past and whatnot. He always promised and insisted that he never would and would even get offended that I’d even mention it. I understand that, it’s not a good feeling to be compared to a failure of a human being like some of my exes and I’d always feel guilty for doing that to him. But after one argument where I indirectly compared him to the aforementioned online friend, he stopped me and told me over text that he was breaking up with me because I deserved someone closer that could be there for me in a physical sense. He told me that he could, for the foreseeable future, only be there for me mentally and emotionally. The thing is, I hate being touched. It was something I wanted to get over with him. It’s been a little over a week since then and he wanted to remain friends, which I tried. But it hurts so much to interact with him and not be able to tell him how much I love him and want to be with him still. I don’t know if this breakup is because he thinks he’s not good enough or because he’s not dedicated to the distance. I want him back so bad, I think this is just him being too insecure and feeling like he’s not everything I’ve ever wanted, which he is. I was planning on working all summer to afford insurance for my mom’s old car so I can go see him, but now I don’t even have the desire to work. What do I do? How do I get him back, if I should?

Well, that and my guitar. I'm completely flummoxed, and pretty depressed over the situation. They didn't take my tvs or computers or artwork or anything else. My antique Napoleonic sword wasn't taken. Nor was my expensive miniature collection. Nor my car keys. Just the instruments.
The context is I had been on a research trip for a few months for my PhD, and when I got back my front door had been busted open. I've spent the past few weeks accounting for everything, and everything is here. Except the viola.
Now, it's not the biggest financial loss of all time. The viola was worth maybe two grand if we're being generous. But it was mine. I'd played that instrument for twenty years, since I was a kid. It got me through high school, and it got me into a conservatory. And when I switched from music as a career it allowed me to go anywhere in the world and connect with people instantly. I made many great friends because of that viola, and got to share some amazing experiences. When I was going through crisis that instrument gave me an opportunity to express what I needed to when words failed.
I've been hoping against hope that it was just misplaced, that it just wasn't where I left it, but the house just isn't that big. The worst part is that I can't even place when it happened. I was gone for a long time. I know I'm luckier than most, and that under the circumstances I could have lost everything. But why did they have to take the viola?

I (42F) broke up with my on and off girlfriend (33F) of 2 years today. But I think maybe, based on what my friends and family are telling me, that it might be the best thing for me. I don’t know if they’re right or she is.
My now ex girlfriend tells me that I’m selfish and that I over react to anything and that I’m just trying to make her feel bad.
Let me give you some context. She has 3 kids, I have 1. We both suffer from pretty severe mental illness. Her from BPD and anxiety and me from severe depression and anxiety. We have had many many conversations about our triggers. We live 2 hours away from each other. We both grew up in abusive households. We talk consistently all day long. Unless explained why, we never usually go more than 15-20 minutes between texts.
Let me give you an example of one of our interactions.
I was in the middle of a depressive episode and told her that I’m feeling pretty lonely and isolated and would like someone to talk to. She didn’t reply for a couple of hours. When she did reply she replied supportively and asked how she could help. I told her I just needed someone to talk to. She again didn’t reply for 2 hours. So at that point I had reached out to one of my best friends and she was helping talk me through it. I told my ex not to worry about me and to text me when she could. The next day I asked her if when I’m having an episode like that if she would prefer that I not reach out to her for support since she has so much going on. She has always told me she WANTS me to talk to her about it but this semi ghosting thing she does literally every time I try. But this was apparently the wrong question because she responded by saying that it wasn’t fair of me to make her feel bad for spending time with her kids. I wasn’t trying to do that, for the record. So I apologized I made her feel that way and said I would never begrudge her spending time with her kids. She then said I was trying to make her feel guilty and then she said she needed some space and cancelled our plans for this weekend.
This is a common type of interaction for us. Another example;
I found out in the middle of the night one night that my best friend from high school, that I was still in regular contact with had died of a fentanyl overdose. I was understandably gutted. My ex and I had had an argument before bed that day. A stupid disagreement that wasn’t super important. I don’t even remember what it was about. So I messaged right when I found out and said I was sorry for the disagreement but I didn’t want to focus on stupid trivial things because people die and every minute is valuable and I didn’t want to fight anymore. I told her about my friend. In the morning she called me first thing and just said “who’s this friend? Why don’t I know about her?” We had only been dating about 5 months. And I had mentioned her multiple times. I pointed that out to her and then she got mad and said I can’t expect her to remember everything I say. Then she said that she can’t really understand why I would be so upset if she wasn’t even important enough for my ex to know about her. Then she broke up with me the first time because she said she was having a pretty bad day and I always had to make everything about me.
I always felt like these situations were my fault. I shouldn’t have questioned her. I should have told her more about my everyday life, made sure she knew what she wanted to know. But my friends and family are making me see that maybe I was being manipulated. But maybe I really was the issue.
Ugh I really don’t know. Either way we are done, I hope for good this time. Because either way, we are not good for each other.
Did I make the right choice here? Is my family right?

Hi, Idk how to sum this all up but I think I need to move out of my house. I’m 15, and enrolled in high school. I have serious home life issues because my parents have been on and off for 4 years now, and it takes quite a toll on my mental health. On top of that, I have an extremely toxic mother who makes me feel like I’m always in the wrong, and she’s perfect. The moment I point out how I feel, she laughs in my face. The moment I point out her issues, she tells me to shut up. My mom and dad constantly ignore me for each other, and I’m tired of feeling like a second thought. This is all the recent stuff, but this stuff has been going on for years. They’re constantly going out, even on weekdays, asking if I can take care of my sister. She’s a decade younger. Most of the time I don’t mind, but when I say no, they throw a shit fit. Like why even fucking ask at that point. Anyways, my grandmother lives a few streets down from me, and says I’m welcome to move in whenever I need. I promised myself I’d move out when I graduate, as by then I’ll have a car and job. Hopefully at least. But I walk to school everyday from my house, which I don’t mind. It’s a 30 minute walk. From my grandmothers house, it’s an hour walk. I prefer to walk as to not inconvenience her. I’m not a morning person so it’d be a big step up to wake up on time. On top of all that, my room is full of stuff, which I don’t mind selling, but it’s a ton of effort to sell. Also, I play guitar, and have earned a ton of gear with money I have saved. It’s my passion but idk where I’d put all of it at my grandmothers. Idk I have a good life financially, but my mental health is so done for. Both my parents have made it clear they wished I moved out, but won’t kick me out. There’s an argument between us everyday. Am I over exaggerating? Should I just push through for 3 years? Sorry for the rant. If you have any questions for more context I’d be happy to answer. Thanks for reading and thanks for advice in advance :)

COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum - Reposting

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Reposting this, long read but relevant for the coming deluge of 💩
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1. COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum
2. Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
3. Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
4. How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
5. Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

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COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum..
There are several techniques for the control and manipulation of a internet forum no matter what, or who is on it. We will go over each technique and demonstrate that only a minimal number of operatives can be used to eventually and effectively gain a control of a 'uncontrolled forum.'
Technique #1 - 'FORUM SLIDING'
If a very sensitive posting of a critical nature has been posted on a forum - it can be quickly removed from public view by 'forum sliding.' In this technique a number of unrelated posts are quietly prepositioned on the forum and allowed to 'age.' Each of these misdirectional forum postings can then be called upon at will to trigger a 'forum slide.' The second requirement is that several fake accounts exist, which can be called upon, to ensure that this technique is not exposed to the public. To trigger a 'forum slide' and 'flush' the critical post out of public view it is simply a matter of logging into each account both real and fake and then 'replying' to prepositined postings with a simple 1 or 2 line comment. This brings the unrelated postings to the top of the forum list, and the critical posting 'slides' down the front page, and quickly out of public view. Although it is difficult or impossible to censor the posting it is now lost in a sea of unrelated and unuseful postings. By this means it becomes effective to keep the readers of the forum reading unrelated and non-issue items.
Technique #2 - 'CONSENSUS CRACKING'
A second highly effective technique (which you can see in operation all the time at www.abovetopsecret.com) is 'consensus cracking.' To develop a consensus crack, the following technique is used. Under the guise of a fake account a posting is made which looks legitimate and is towards the truth is made - but the critical point is that it has a VERY WEAK PREMISE without substantive proof to back the posting. Once this is done then under alternative fake accounts a very strong position in your favour is slowly introduced over the life of the posting. It is IMPERATIVE that both sides are initially presented, so the uninformed reader cannot determine which side is the truth. As postings and replies are made the stronger 'evidence' or disinformation in your favour is slowly 'seeded in.' Thus the uninformed reader will most like develop the same position as you, and if their position is against you their opposition to your posting will be most likely dropped. However in some cases where the forum members are highly educated and can counter your disinformation with real facts and linked postings, you can then 'abort' the consensus cracking by initiating a 'forum slide.'
Technique #3 - 'TOPIC DILUTION'
Topic dilution is not only effective in forum sliding it is also very useful in keeping the forum readers on unrelated and non-productive issues. This is a critical and useful technique to cause a 'RESOURCE BURN.' By implementing continual and non-related postings that distract and disrupt (trolling ) the forum readers they are more effectively stopped from anything of any real productivity. If the intensity of gradual dilution is intense enough, the readers will effectively stop researching and simply slip into a 'gossip mode.' In this state they can be more easily misdirected away from facts towards uninformed conjecture and opinion. The less informed they are the more effective and easy it becomes to control the entire group in the direction that you would desire the group to go in. It must be stressed that a proper assessment of the psychological capabilities and levels of education is first determined of the group to determine at what level to 'drive in the wedge.' By being too far off topic too quickly it may trigger censorship by a forum moderator.
Technique #4 - 'INFORMATION COLLECTION'
Information collection is also a very effective method to determine the psychological level of the forum members, and to gather intelligence that can be used against them. In this technique in a light and positive environment a 'show you mine so me yours' posting is initiated. From the number of replies and the answers that are provided much statistical information can be gathered. An example is to post your 'favourite weapon' and then encourage other members of the forum to showcase what they have. In this matter it can be determined by reverse proration what percentage of the forum community owns a firearm, and or a illegal weapon. This same method can be used by posing as one of the form members and posting your favourite 'technique of operation.' From the replies various methods that the group utilizes can be studied and effective methods developed to stop them from their activities.
Technique #5 - 'ANGER TROLLING'
Statistically, there is always a percentage of the forum posters who are more inclined to violence. In order to determine who these individuals are, it is a requirement to present a image to the forum to deliberately incite a strong psychological reaction. From this the most violent in the group can be effectively singled out for reverse IP location and possibly local enforcement tracking. To accomplish this only requires posting a link to a video depicting a local police officer massively abusing his power against a very innocent individual. Statistically of the million or so police officers in America there is always one or two being caught abusing there powers and the taping of the activity can be then used for intelligence gathering purposes - without the requirement to 'stage' a fake abuse video. This method is extremely effective, and the more so the more abusive the video can be made to look. Sometimes it is useful to 'lead' the forum by replying to your own posting with your own statement of violent intent, and that you 'do not care what the authorities think!!' inflammation. By doing this and showing no fear it may be more effective in getting the more silent and self-disciplined violent intent members of the forum to slip and post their real intentions. This can be used later in a court of law during prosecution.
Technique #6 - 'GAINING FULL CONTROL'
It is important to also be harvesting and continually maneuvering for a forum moderator position. Once this position is obtained, the forum can then be effectively and quietly controlled by deleting unfavourable postings - and one can eventually steer the forum into complete failure and lack of interest by the general public. This is the 'ultimate victory' as the forum is no longer participated with by the general public and no longer useful in maintaining their freedoms. Depending on the level of control you can obtain, you can deliberately steer a forum into defeat by censoring postings, deleting memberships, flooding, and or accidentally taking the forum offline. By this method the forum can be quickly killed. However it is not always in the interest to kill a forum as it can be converted into a 'honey pot' gathering center to collect and misdirect newcomers and from this point be completely used for your control for your agenda purposes.
CONCLUSION
Remember these techniques are only effective if the forum participants DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THEM. Once they are aware of these techniques the operation can completely fail, and the forum can become uncontrolled. At this point other avenues must be considered such as initiating a false legal precidence to simply have the forum shut down and taken offline. This is not desirable as it then leaves the enforcement agencies unable to track the percentage of those in the population who always resist attempts for control against them. Many other techniques can be utilized and developed by the individual and as you develop further techniques of infiltration and control it is imperative to share then with HQ.
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Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
Note: The first rule and last five (or six, depending on situation) rules are generally not directly within the ability of the traditional disinfo artist to apply. These rules are generally used more directly by those at the leadership, key players, or planning level of the criminal conspiracy or conspiracy to cover up.
1. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Regardless of what you know, don't discuss it -- especially if you are a public figure, news anchor, etc. If it's not reported, it didn't happen, and you never have to deal with the issues.
2. Become incredulous and indignant. Avoid discussing key issues and instead focus on side issues which can be used show the topic as being critical of some otherwise sacrosanct group or theme. This is also known as the 'How dare you!' gambit.
3. Create rumor mongers. Avoid discussing issues by describing all charges, regardless of venue or evidence, as mere rumors and wild accusations. Other derogatory terms mutually exclusive of truth may work as well. This method which works especially well with a silent press, because the only way the public can learn of the facts are through such 'arguable rumors'. If you can associate the material with the Internet, use this fact to certify it a 'wild rumor' from a 'bunch of kids on the Internet' which can have no basis in fact.
4. Use a straw man. Find or create a seeming element of your opponent's argument which you can easily knock down to make yourself look good and the opponent to look bad. Either make up an issue you may safely imply exists based on your interpretation of the opponent/opponent arguments/situation, or select the weakest aspect of the weakest charges. Amplify their significance and destroy them in a way which appears to debunk all the charges, real and fabricated alike, while actually avoiding discussion of the real issues.
5. Sidetrack opponents with name calling and ridicule. This is also known as the primary 'attack the messenger' ploy, though other methods qualify as variants of that approach. Associate opponents with unpopular titles such as 'kooks', 'right-wing', 'liberal', 'left-wing', 'terrorists', 'conspiracy buffs', 'radicals', 'militia', 'racists', 'religious fanatics', 'sexual deviates', and so forth. This makes others shrink from support out of fear of gaining the same label, and you avoid dealing with issues.
6. Hit and Run. In any public forum, make a brief attack of your opponent or the opponent position and then scamper off before an answer can be fielded, or simply ignore any answer. This works extremely well in Internet and letters-to-the-editor environments where a steady stream of new identities can be called upon without having to explain criticism, reasoning -- simply make an accusation or other attack, never discussing issues, and never answering any subsequent response, for that would dignify the opponent's viewpoint.
7. Question motives. Twist or amplify any fact which could be taken to imply that the opponent operates out of a hidden personal agenda or other bias. This avoids discussing issues and forces the accuser on the defensive.
8. Invoke authority. Claim for yourself or associate yourself with authority and present your argument with enough 'jargon' and 'minutia' to illustrate you are 'one who knows', and simply say it isn't so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or citing sources.
9. Play Dumb. No matter what evidence or logical argument is offered, avoid discussing issues except with denials they have any credibility, make any sense, provide any proof, contain or make a point, have logic, or support a conclusion. Mix well for maximum effect.
10. Associate opponent charges with old news. A derivative of the straw man -- usually, in any large-scale matter of high visibility, someone will make charges early on which can be or were already easily dealt with - a kind of investment for the future should the matter not be so easily contained.) Where it can be foreseen, have your own side raise a straw man issue and have it dealt with early on as part of the initial contingency plans. Subsequent charges, regardless of validity or new ground uncovered, can usually then be associated with the original charge and dismissed as simply being a rehash without need to address current issues -- so much the better where the opponent is or was involved with the original source.
11. Establish and rely upon fall-back positions. Using a minor matter or element of the facts, take the 'high road' and 'confess' with candor that some innocent mistake, in hindsight, was made -- but that opponents have seized on the opportunity to blow it all out of proportion and imply greater criminalities which, 'just isn't so.' Others can reinforce this on your behalf, later, and even publicly 'call for an end to the nonsense' because you have already 'done the right thing.' Done properly, this can garner sympathy and respect for 'coming clean' and 'owning up' to your mistakes without addressing more serious issues.
12. Enigmas have no solution. Drawing upon the overall umbrella of events surrounding the crime and the multitude of players and events, paint the entire affair as too complex to solve. This causes those otherwise following the matter to begin to lose interest more quickly without having to address the actual issues.
13. Alice in Wonderland Logic. Avoid discussion of the issues by reasoning backwards or with an apparent deductive logic which forbears any actual material fact.
14. Demand complete solutions. Avoid the issues by requiring opponents to solve the crime at hand completely, a ploy which works best with issues qualifying for rule 10.
15. Fit the facts to alternate conclusions. This requires creative thinking unless the crime was planned with contingency conclusions in place.
16. Vanish evidence and witnesses. If it does not exist, it is not fact, and you won't have to address the issue.
17. Change the subject. Usually in connection with one of the other ploys listed here, find a way to side-track the discussion with abrasive or controversial comments in hopes of turning attention to a new, more manageable topic. This works especially well with companions who can 'argue' with you over the new topic and polarize the discussion arena in order to avoid discussing more key issues.
18. Emotionalize, Antagonize, and Goad Opponents. If you can't do anything else, chide and taunt your opponents and draw them into emotional responses which will tend to make them look foolish and overly motivated, and generally render their material somewhat less coherent. Not only will you avoid discussing the issues in the first instance, but even if their emotional response addresses the issue, you can further avoid the issues by then focusing on how 'sensitive they are to criticism.'
19. Ignore proof presented, demand impossible proofs. This is perhaps a variant of the 'play dumb' rule. Regardless of what material may be presented by an opponent in public forums, claim the material irrelevant and demand proof that is impossible for the opponent to come by (it may exist, but not be at his disposal, or it may be something which is known to be safely destroyed or withheld, such as a murder weapon.) In order to completely avoid discussing issues, it may be required that you to categorically deny and be critical of media or books as valid sources, deny that witnesses are acceptable, or even deny that statements made by government or other authorities have any meaning or relevance.
20. False evidence. Whenever possible, introduce new facts or clues designed and manufactured to conflict with opponent presentations -- as useful tools to neutralize sensitive issues or impede resolution. This works best when the crime was designed with contingencies for the purpose, and the facts cannot be easily separated from the fabrications.
21. Call a Grand Jury, Special Prosecutor, or other empowered investigative body. Subvert the (process) to your benefit and effectively neutralize all sensitive issues without open discussion. Once convened, the evidence and testimony are required to be secret when properly handled. For instance, if you own the prosecuting attorney, it can insure a Grand Jury hears no useful evidence and that the evidence is sealed and unavailable to subsequent investigators. Once a favorable verdict is achieved, the matter can be considered officially closed. Usually, this technique is applied to find the guilty innocent, but it can also be used to obtain charges when seeking to frame a victim.
22. Manufacture a new truth. Create your own expert(s), group(s), author(s), leader(s) or influence existing ones willing to forge new ground via scientific, investigative, or social research or testimony which concludes favorably. In this way, if you must actually address issues, you can do so authoritatively.
23. Create bigger distractions. If the above does not seem to be working to distract from sensitive issues, or to prevent unwanted media coverage of unstoppable events such as trials, create bigger news stories (or treat them as such) to distract the multitudes.
24. Silence critics. If the above methods do not prevail, consider removing opponents from circulation by some definitive solution so that the need to address issues is removed entirely. This can be by their death, arrest and detention, blackmail or destruction of their character by release of blackmail information, or merely by destroying them financially, emotionally, or severely damaging their health.
25. Vanish. If you are a key holder of secrets or otherwise overly illuminated and you think the heat is getting too hot, to avoid the issues, vacate the kitchen.
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Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
1) Avoidance. They never actually discuss issues head-on or provide constructive input, generally avoiding citation of references or credentials. Rather, they merely imply this, that, and the other. Virtually everything about their presentation implies their authority and expert knowledge in the matter without any further justification for credibility.
2) Selectivity. They tend to pick and choose opponents carefully, either applying the hit-and-run approach against mere commentators supportive of opponents, or focusing heavier attacks on key opponents who are known to directly address issues. Should a commentator become argumentative with any success, the focus will shift to include the commentator as well.
3) Coincidental. They tend to surface suddenly and somewhat coincidentally with a new controversial topic with no clear prior record of participation in general discussions in the particular public arena involved. They likewise tend to vanish once the topic is no longer of general concern. They were likely directed or elected to be there for a reason, and vanish with the reason.
4) Teamwork. They tend to operate in self-congratulatory and complementary packs or teams. Of course, this can happen naturally in any public forum, but there will likely be an ongoing pattern of frequent exchanges of this sort where professionals are involved. Sometimes one of the players will infiltrate the opponent camp to become a source for straw man or other tactics designed to dilute opponent presentation strength.
5) Anti-conspiratorial. They almost always have disdain for 'conspiracy theorists' and, usually, for those who in any way believe JFK was not killed by LHO. Ask yourself why, if they hold such disdain for conspiracy theorists, do they focus on defending a single topic discussed in a NG focusing on conspiracies? One might think they would either be trying to make fools of everyone on every topic, or simply ignore the group they hold in such disdain.Or, one might more rightly conclude they have an ulterior motive for their actions in going out of their way to focus as they do.
6) Artificial Emotions. An odd kind of 'artificial' emotionalism and an unusually thick skin -- an ability to persevere and persist even in the face of overwhelming criticism and unacceptance. This likely stems from intelligence community training that, no matter how condemning the evidence, deny everything, and never become emotionally involved or reactive. The net result for a disinfo artist is that emotions can seem artificial.
Most people, if responding in anger, for instance, will express their animosity throughout their rebuttal. But disinfo types usually have trouble maintaining the 'image' and are hot and cold with respect to pretended emotions and their usually more calm or unemotional communications style. It's just a job, and they often seem unable to 'act their role in character' as well in a communications medium as they might be able in a real face-to-face conversation/confrontation. You might have outright rage and indignation one moment, ho-hum the next, and more anger later -- an emotional yo-yo.
With respect to being thick-skinned, no amount of criticism will deter them from doing their job, and they will generally continue their old disinfo patterns without any adjustments to criticisms of how obvious it is that they play that game -- where a more rational individual who truly cares what others think might seek to improve their communications style, substance, and so forth, or simply give up.
7) Inconsistent. There is also a tendency to make mistakes which betray their true self/motives. This may stem from not really knowing their topic, or it may be somewhat 'freudian', so to speak, in that perhaps they really root for the side of truth deep within.
I have noted that often, they will simply cite contradictory information which neutralizes itself and the author. For instance, one such player claimed to be a Navy pilot, but blamed his poor communicating skills (spelling, grammar, incoherent style) on having only a grade-school education. I'm not aware of too many Navy pilots who don't have a college degree. Another claimed no knowledge of a particular topic/situation but later claimed first-hand knowledge of it.
8) Time Constant. Recently discovered, with respect to News Groups, is the response time factor. There are three ways this can be seen to work, especially when the government or other empowered player is involved in a cover up operation:
a) ANY NG posting by a targeted proponent for truth can result in an IMMEDIATE response. The government and other empowered players can afford to pay people to sit there and watch for an opportunity to do some damage. SINCE DISINFO IN A NG ONLY WORKS IF THE READER SEES IT - FAST RESPONSE IS CALLED FOR, or the visitor may be swayed towards truth.
b) When dealing in more direct ways with a disinformationalist, such as email, DELAY IS CALLED FOR - there will usually be a minimum of a 48-72 hour delay. This allows a sit-down team discussion on response strategy for best effect, and even enough time to 'get permission' or instruction from a formal chain of command.
c) In the NG example 1) above, it will often ALSO be seen that bigger guns are drawn and fired after the same 48-72 hours delay - the team approach in play. This is especially true when the targeted truth seeker or their comments are considered more important with respect to potential to reveal truth. Thus, a serious truth sayer will be attacked twice for the same sin.
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How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
One way to neutralize a potential activist is to get them to be in a group that does all the wrong things. Why?
1) The message doesn't get out.
2) A lot of time is wasted
3) The activist is frustrated and discouraged
4) Nothing good is accomplished.
FBI and Police Informers and Infiltrators will infest any group and they have phoney activist organizations established.
Their purpose is to prevent any real movement for justice or eco-peace from developing in this country.
Agents come in small, medium or large. They can be of any ethnic background. They can be male or female.
The actual size of the group or movement being infiltrated is irrelevant. It is the potential the movement has for becoming large which brings on the spies and saboteurs.
This booklet lists tactics agents use to slow things down, foul things up, destroy the movement and keep tabs on activists.
It is the agent's job to keep the activist from quitting such a group, thus keeping him/her under control.
In some situations, to get control, the agent will tell the activist:

• "You're dividing the movement."

[Here, I have added the psychological reasons as to WHY this maneuver works to control people]
This invites guilty feelings. Many people can be controlled by guilt. The agents begin relationships with activists behind a well-developed mask of "dedication to the cause." Because of their often declared dedication, (and actions designed to prove this), when they criticize the activist, he or she - being truly dedicated to the movement - becomes convinced that somehow, any issues are THEIR fault. This is because a truly dedicated person tends to believe that everyone has a conscience and that nobody would dissimulate and lie like that "on purpose." It's amazing how far agents can go in manipulating an activist because the activist will constantly make excuses for the agent who regularly declares their dedication to the cause. Even if they do, occasionally, suspect the agent, they will pull the wool over their own eyes by rationalizing: "they did that unconsciously... they didn't really mean it... I can help them by being forgiving and accepting " and so on and so forth.
The agent will tell the activist:

• "You're a leader!"

This is designed to enhance the activist's self-esteem. His or her narcissistic admiration of his/her own activist/altruistic intentions increase as he or she identifies with and consciously admires the altruistic declarations of the agent which are deliberately set up to mirror those of the activist.
This is "malignant pseudoidentification." It is the process by which the agent consciously imitates or simulates a certain behavior to foster the activist's identification with him/her, thus increasing the activist's vulnerability to exploitation. The agent will simulate the more subtle self-concepts of the activist.
Activists and those who have altruistic self-concepts are most vulnerable to malignant pseudoidentification especially during work with the agent when the interaction includes matter relating to their competency, autonomy, or knowledge.
The goal of the agent is to increase the activist's general empathy for the agent through pseudo-identification with the activist's self-concepts.
The most common example of this is the agent who will compliment the activist for his competency or knowledge or value to the movement. On a more subtle level, the agent will simulate affects and mannerisms of the activist which promotes identification via mirroring and feelings of "twinship". It is not unheard of for activists, enamored by the perceived helpfulness and competence of a good agent, to find themselves considering ethical violations and perhaps, even illegal behavior, in the service of their agent/handler.
The activist's "felt quality of perfection" [self-concept] is enhanced, and a strong empathic bond is developed with the agent through his/her imitation and simulation of the victim's own narcissistic investments. [self-concepts] That is, if the activist knows, deep inside, their own dedication to the cause, they will project that onto the agent who is "mirroring" them.
The activist will be deluded into thinking that the agent shares this feeling of identification and bonding. In an activist/social movement setting, the adversarial roles that activists naturally play vis a vis the establishment/government, fosters ongoing processes of intrapsychic splitting so that "twinship alliances" between activist and agent may render whole sectors or reality testing unavailable to the activist. They literally "lose touch with reality."
Activists who deny their own narcissistic investments [do not have a good idea of their own self-concepts and that they ARE concepts] and consciously perceive themselves (accurately, as it were) to be "helpers" endowed with a special amount of altruism are exceedingly vulnerable to the affective (emotional) simulation of the accomplished agent.
Empathy is fostered in the activist through the expression of quite visible affects. The presentation of tearfulness, sadness, longing, fear, remorse, and guilt, may induce in the helper-oriented activist a strong sense of compassion, while unconsciously enhancing the activist's narcissistic investment in self as the embodiment of goodness.
The agent's expresssion of such simulated affects may be quite compelling to the observer and difficult to distinguish from deep emotion.
It can usually be identified by two events, however:
First, the activist who has analyzed his/her own narcissistic roots and is aware of his/her own potential for being "emotionally hooked," will be able to remain cool and unaffected by such emotional outpourings by the agent.
As a result of this unaffected, cool, attitude, the Second event will occur: The agent will recompensate much too quickly following such an affective expression leaving the activist with the impression that "the play has ended, the curtain has fallen," and the imposture, for the moment, has finished. The agent will then move quickly to another activist/victim.
The fact is, the movement doesn't need leaders, it needs MOVERS. "Follow the leader" is a waste of time.
A good agent will want to meet as often as possible. He or she will talk a lot and say little. One can expect an onslaught of long, unresolved discussions.
Some agents take on a pushy, arrogant, or defensive manner:
1) To disrupt the agenda
2) To side-track the discussion
3) To interrupt repeatedly
4) To feign ignorance
5) To make an unfounded accusation against a person.
Calling someone a racist, for example. This tactic is used to discredit a person in the eyes of all other group members.
Saboteurs
Some saboteurs pretend to be activists. She or he will ....
1) Write encyclopedic flyers (in the present day, websites)
2) Print flyers in English only.
3) Have demonstrations in places where no one cares.
4) Solicit funding from rich people instead of grass roots support
5) Display banners with too many words that are confusing.
6) Confuse issues.
7) Make the wrong demands.
8) Compromise the goal.
9) Have endless discussions that waste everyone's time. The agent may accompany the endless discussions with drinking, pot smoking or other amusement to slow down the activist's work.
Provocateurs
1) Want to establish "leaders" to set them up for a fall in order to stop the movement.
2) Suggest doing foolish, illegal things to get the activists in trouble.
3) Encourage militancy.
4) Want to taunt the authorities.
5) Attempt to make the activist compromise their values.
6) Attempt to instigate violence. Activisim ought to always be non-violent.
7) Attempt to provoke revolt among people who are ill-prepared to deal with the reaction of the authorities to such violence.
Informants
1) Want everyone to sign up and sing in and sign everything.
2) Ask a lot of questions (gathering data).
3) Want to know what events the activist is planning to attend.
4) Attempt to make the activist defend him or herself to identify his or her beliefs, goals, and level of committment.
Recruiting
Legitimate activists do not subject people to hours of persuasive dialog. Their actions, beliefs, and goals speak for themselves.
Groups that DO recruit are missionaries, military, and fake political parties or movements set up by agents.
Surveillance
ALWAYS assume that you are under surveillance.
At this point, if you are NOT under surveillance, you are not a very good activist!
Scare Tactics
They use them.
Such tactics include slander, defamation, threats, getting close to disaffected or minimally committed fellow activists to persuade them (via psychological tactics described above) to turn against the movement and give false testimony against their former compatriots. They will plant illegal substances on the activist and set up an arrest; they will plant false information and set up "exposure," they will send incriminating letters [emails] in the name of the activist; and more; they will do whatever society will allow.
This booklet in no way covers all the ways agents use to sabotage the lives of sincere an dedicated activists.
If an agent is "exposed," he or she will be transferred or replaced.
COINTELPRO is still in operation today under a different code name. It is no longer placed on paper where it can be discovered through the freedom of information act.
The FBI counterintelligence program's stated purpose: To expose, disrupt, misdirect, discredit, and otherwise neutralize individuals who the FBI categorize as opposed to the National Interests. "National Security" means the FBI's security from the people ever finding out the vicious things it does in violation of people's civil liberties.
_______________________________________________________________________
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression
Strong, credible allegations of high-level criminal activity can bring down a government. When the government lacks an effective, fact-based defense, other techniques must be employed. The success of these techniques depends heavily upon a cooperative, compliant press and a mere token opposition party.
1. Dummy up. If it's not reported, if it's not news, it didn't happen.
2. Wax indignant. This is also known as the "How dare you?" gambit.
3. Characterize the charges as "rumors" or, better yet, "wild rumors." If, in spite of the news blackout, the public is still able to learn about the suspicious facts, it can only be through "rumors." (If they tend to believe the "rumors" it must be because they are simply "paranoid" or "hysterical.")
4. Knock down straw men. Deal only with the weakest aspects of the weakest charges. Even better, create your own straw men. Make up wild rumors (or plant false stories) and give them lead play when you appear to debunk all the charges, real and fanciful alike.
5. Call the skeptics names like "conspiracy theorist," "nutcase," "ranter," "kook," "crackpot," and, of course, "rumor monger." Be sure, too, to use heavily loaded verbs and adjectives when characterizing their charges and defending the "more reasonable" government and its defenders. You must then carefully avoid fair and open debate with any of the people you have thus maligned. For insurance, set up your own "skeptics" to shoot down.
6. Impugn motives. Attempt to marginalize the critics by suggesting strongly that they are not really interested in the truth but are simply pursuing a partisan political agenda or are out to make money (compared to over-compensated adherents to the government line who, presumably, are not).
7. Invoke authority. Here the controlled press and the sham opposition can be very useful.
8. Dismiss the charges as "old news."
9. Come half-clean. This is also known as "confession and avoidance" or "taking the limited hangout route." This way, you create the impression of candor and honesty while you admit only to relatively harmless, less-than-criminal "mistakes." This stratagem often requires the embrace of a fall-back position quite different from the one originally taken. With effective damage control, the fall-back position need only be peddled by stooge skeptics to carefully limited markets.
10. Characterize the crimes as impossibly complex and the truth as ultimately unknowable.
11. Reason backward, using the deductive method with a vengeance. With thoroughly rigorous deduction, troublesome evidence is irrelevant. E.g. We have a completely free press. If evidence exists that the Vince Foster "suicide" note was forged, they would have reported it. They haven't reported it so there is no such evidence. Another variation on this theme involves the likelihood of a conspiracy leaker and a press who would report the leak.
12. Require the skeptics to solve the crime completely. E.g. If Foster was murdered, who did it and why?
13. Change the subject. This technique includes creating and/or publicizing distractions.
14. Lightly report incriminating facts, and then make nothing of them. This is sometimes referred to as "bump and run" reporting.
15. Baldly and brazenly lie. A favorite way of doing this is to attribute the "facts" furnished the public to a plausible-sounding, but anonymous, source.
16. Expanding further on numbers 4 and 5, have your own stooges "expose" scandals and champion popular causes. Their job is to pre-empt real opponents and to play 99-yard football. A variation is to pay rich people for the job who will pretend to spend their own money.
17. Flood the Internet with agents. This is the answer to the question, "What could possibly motivate a person to spend hour upon hour on Internet news groups defending the government and/or the press and harassing genuine critics?" Don t the authorities have defenders enough in all the newspapers, magazines, radio, and television? One would think refusing to print critical letters and screening out serious callers or dumping them from radio talk shows would be control enough, but, obviously, it is not.

I’m using a different account for reasons. For context: my bf and I are seniors in high-school.
I am going on a trip to nyc later this month. My boyfriend is upset. Like he’s straight up pissed about the fact that I’m going to nyc. He says that it’s not fair and that his life is shitty because all of his friends are traveling to nyc and he’s not. He’s not allowing me to post any pics about my trip on my instagram, or get my nails done, and I wanted to get a new haircut too before I leave but I bet he won’t allow that too.
When I asked him why, he didn’t explain why and just stated that he just doesn’t want to. He threw a fit and threatened to leave (he was hanging out at my house). He claimed that I was abandoning him and that I should just stay in nyc or just straight up break up with him ( I’m gonna stay in nyc for 3 weeks at most).
He gets upset whenever I bring up nyc. I can’t talk about anything exciting to do about nyc. I haven’t left the country in almost 4 years (Im not living in the USA rn) and he went on a Christmas trip to Miami last year. He stayed with his family there for three weeks. While I was sad, I was nowhere near emotional as the temper tantrum he threw when he found out about my trip.
He says that by the time I get back then we won’t have any time together. That the summer should’ve been about us going out and having dates and spending time. To be fair, I have strict parents so I understand. But I still think he’s acting pretty childish.
I just wish he’ll realize his behavior and apologize for how he acts.

Since Hong Kong was handed back over to China in 1997 after 156 years as a British colony, the cultural differences, powerful government of the Chinese Communist party, and various other political and economic factors have caused many complications between regions in the last 26 years. Another key impact and aspect to these conflicts is the role of language and its effect on cultural identity and social opportunities. The linguistic impact of these conflicts have become very prevalent in education policies, employment opportunities, and representing and preserving identity in Hong Kong. Through delving deeper into these factors, we can further understand the unique circumstances of the conflicts and tension between Hong Kong and China and understand the ongoing struggle of those who feel they are losing their autonomy.
Language policies play a large role in shaping the culture and way of life of any region, specifically in Hong Kong, it has become an evident problem over recent years in residents fighting to protect their culture and mother tongue language, Cantonese. Since the handover in 1997, the mainland China government has increasingly influenced and promoted Mandarin; the official language in the mainland, onto Hong Kong in an attempt to integrate both regions and share the same language, essentially leading to the departure of Cantonese. Policies that have been made regardless of if they are in favor of preserving Cantonese or not, bring many challenges due to the complicated political, economic, and educational conditions.
Hong Kong has had various policies instituted in order to maintain Cantonese such as the Medium of Instruction (MoI) policy and having education centered around a biliterate and trilingual education system. The MoI policy ultimately allows schools in Hong Kong to choose from either Cantonese or English to teach in, however it is primarily Cantonese that is chosen and highly recommended by the Hong Kong government. Although this policy allows the mother tongue language in Hong Kong to thrive in the education system, many students may be set back or face struggles with a deficiency of English, a crucial international language in the new globalized economy (Kan & Adamson, 2010). The biliterate and trilingual system in Hong Kong which encompasses written proficiency in Cantonese and English, and spoken proficiency in Cantonese, Mandarin, and English also faces similar criticisms as some may argue the emphasis on English literacy proficiency comes at the expense of Chinese culture and heritage. Along with the increased promotion of Mandarin use in recent years by the Chinese government, this system continues to face challenges while trying to navigate Hong Kong’s unique linguistic and cultural context.
Continued policy changing and further intervention from the Chinese government has also contributed to the linguistic challenges and escalating tensions between Hong Kong and China. The introduction of the National Security Law in 2020 and promotion of the Mandarin language through the National Common Language Law in China have escalated the concern for the prosperity and preservation of Cantonese. The National Security Law caused a wave of the largest series of demonstrations in the history of Hong Kong because of a fear of lack of rights and freedom, along with loss of linguistic heritage due to promotion of Chinese national identity. As Lee & Chan (2022) states, although Hong Kong has never been a full democracy, it has always been a desired goal for the region, however due to the outcome of the implementation of the National Security Law, democratic backsliding has heavily accelerated and autonomy in the region has therefore been lessening. This lack of freedom for citizens in Hong Kong has brought about more emphasis for protecting Cantonese with the national language laws of China becoming more evident in the rise of Mandarin in Hong Kong.
Cultural erosion in Hong Kong is made apparent by the growing rise of Mandarin in the region from efforts by the Chinese government and ultimately causing a large decline of Cantonese significance within employment. Li (2022) finding increasingly positive effects of Mandarin proficiency for finding a job, along with receiving higher earnings in Hong Kong shows the decreasing use and importance of Cantonese, even where approximately 97% of the population are Cantonese speakers. The cultural and political instability within Hong Kong has also caused the tourism sector to take a large hit, leaving many people struggling or without jobs. Additionally, concerns with the autonomy of Hong Kong have negatively affected international trade with other countries, causing further economic and financial difficulties.
The conflicts between Hong Kong and China contain many difficulties and complications that make the situation complicated to navigate, but ultimately have led to a linguistic divide and cultural erosion for Hong Kong residents. The various language policies and other economic factors that help to alleviate tensions between Hong Kong and China along with the promotion and thriving state of Mandarin in Hong Kong, all contribute to Hong Kong’s cultural identity being put at risk and affecting social mobility within the region. To reduce these linguistic challenges and cultural complications, more recognition for the state of Cantonese and Hong Kong’s heritage and traditions is needed through things such as the Protecting Cantonese Movement (PCM) to promote understanding of these cultural and linguistic differences (Li et al., 2022). Overall, the importance of promoting and keeping Cantonese alive is a key factor to protecting Hong Kong’s values and identity when undergoing these political challenges with Hong Kong and China.
Kan, V., & Adamson, B. (2010). Language policies for Hong Kong since 1997. London Review of Education, 8(2), 167-176. https://doi.org/10.1080/14748460.2010.487336
Lee, F., & Chan, C. (2022). Legalization of press control under democratic backsliding: The case of post-national security law Hong Kong. Media, culture & society. https://doi-org.libproxy.mtroyal.ca/10.1177/01634437221140525
Li, Y-T. (2022). How important is English, Mandarin, and Cantonese for getting a job? Exploring employers’ perceptions of linguistic capital in Hong Kong. Chinese Sociological Review, 54(2), 155-177. https://doi-org.libproxy.mtroyal.ca/10.1080/21620555.2021.1964948
Li, Y., Kang, Y., Ding, D., & Zhang, N. (2022). An overview of the “Protecting Cantonese Movement” in Guangzhou (2010–2021). Asian-Pacific Journal of Second and Foreign Language Education, 7(1), 1-11. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40862-022-00165-2
Yiu, P., (2022, June 29). Hong Kong's identity in crisis after 25 years of Beijing rule. NikkeiAsia. https://asia.nikkei.com/Spotlight/The-Big-Story/Hong-Kong-s-identity-in-crisis-after-25-years-of-Beijing-rule

As context, I (16f) am an out and proud aroace to everyone except my family, so I am basically living 2 lives. My parents are very Conservative Republicans (father more so then my mom) and my brother is more of "gay is a thing to joke about" libertarian. As an avid Tucker Carlson watching Trump voter, my father often brings up the issue of those "alphabet freaks" many times a day, and is largely against it. (I watched RuPauls drag race once and he gave a rant on how drag queens are basically asking to be beaten to death for "tricking" a straight men as an example.) He is also quite sexist as he beliefs that a women's main purpose is to reproduce, and even said I was quitting as I repeatedly said I do not want kids or relationships (w/o saying I'm aroace). Anyways, thats the context. My problem is that during PRIDE month, my father has been watching videos of elementary schools doing things for pride and schools including lgbtq in curriculum, and he HATES it. Now, this is not so different from the norm, but during the last 4 weeks of my junior year, I, along with the my GSA club advisor, have begun a motion to introduce an LGBTQ Studies at my high school. In this process, I will have to talk to the board of education and this push will also get my name in the local newspaper. Now, I love the PRIDE community, but I also sadly rely on my father of financial support (especially since I will start college next year) and I don't know what to do. I'm not going to give up my little passion baby but I also want my to survive my senior year in one piece. Anyways, thoughts and prayers 🙏

So I (20M) and my girlfriend (20F) have been dating since high-school, we've been together for 4 wonderful years, and although we had our ups and downs we able manage to get along quite nicely.
As a bit of context, I am some who likes to devote himself completely to a person, as I belive that she will be part of my family really soon. Although I don't completely isolate from my friends, if I have a choice between spending 5 minutes with my gf or 5 hours with my friend I would rather be with my gf. But this is something I personally do, so she has never asked me to do it.
We are right now in a short break from university, we don't study in the same university or the same undergrad program but we do like to help each other so we can spend time together, whether it be projects, studying for finals or tests, or even just homework.
Whenever we were studying we could find time to watch movies or even just cuddle, but right now she seems so busy all the time, being either going out with friends or just being in her phone all day long. At the begging it didn't bother me as I though "well she hasn't have time to have fun" but on the other side, my friends are inviting me to hangout and I am rejecting hoping that my gf and I could do something, as well we haven't got time to do anything a couple could do.
I really don't want to tell her this situation as I don't want for us to get into a big fight, but she does know that I really appreciate this kind of gesture.
AITA for expecting her to start spending more time with me than with others?

I think my husband is gaslighting me.
For context of our relationship, I've (26F) been with my husband (27M) for 10.5 years. We are high school sweethearts, and I have been with him since I was 15. We have lived together for 6 years now, were engaged for 3.5, and have been married less than a year. I have been feeling manipulated in our relationship for a few years now, but I also have OCD and usually rationalize that I'm having intrusive thoughts instead of reality. Tonight though, it has been so fucking clear to me and now I just feel crazy. I've been sick with some type of cold virus for the last couple of days. I had told him on Monday that I was going to cook a certain meal for dinner on Tuesday, but then when the time came on Tuesday I didn't have the energy. I had told him first thing Tuesday morning that I was feeling awful and would probably have to go straight home from work and take a nap. He called me on his way home from work and asked what I had done for dinner. I told him I had just leftovers because I was feeling worse than I had earlier in the day. He sounded clearly disappointed and said "Oh, I thought you were going to make the meal. I'll have to figure something out on my way home I guess." I apologized and he still sounded clearly upset when he said don't worry about it. Tonight I made the meal, even though I still feel like shit because I didn't want it to go bad and didn't want him to miss out again. I was feeling a little better and wanted to chat with him when he got home since it was already almost time for bed. We put on a TV show that's usually background for us, so I chatted over it about shit I was seeing on social media and other chatty bits about my day, and he interrupted me and told me how annoying I was being while he was trying to pay attention to the show. I apologized (which he hates, says I do it too often and it's just meaningless at this point), and he brushed it off and went back to the show. He was trying to reach something a few minutes later and knocked over my gaming headphones that I use to chat with him on his way home every night. He picked them up and angrily threw them across the room. When I reacted with an angry face and a sarcastic "thank you for throwing my nice headset", he told me they were "always in the fucking way." When I sat down to finish my snack next to him and still was visibly upset, he said "Are you going to be like this all day?" and was also visibly upset. I told him I had a right to be upset that he just threw my stuff across the room like that, and he told me that he didn't throw them, he was just trying to set them on the couch and they were lighter than he thought. I called him on the bs, and told him I very clearly saw him throw them, and he just shook his head, said "whatever", and sat in silence until I moved on.
I also feel like no matter how much I do around our house in terms of animal care, chores, or cooking and cleaning, he still claims the place wouldn't be clean without him. He has flat out told me that I'm lazy for needing to come home after a very high energy work day (I work with toddlers) and relax for a couple of hours before I do the chores. I've tried to explain that we just handle that differently, he's more of a don't stop moving until everything is done, and I am more of a rest and recover between activities, but still get them done. Explaining only makes him say I'm using excuses.
These reasons among several others I can go into if you all need more details just makes me feel like I am dealing with an issue here, and not just making it up. I grew up with a narcissistic father so I'm sure daddy issues are playing into my anxieties too, but tonight I just can't shake that conversation. I can't find any way to justify him being right and me misremembering.
Please give me any insight you can on if I need to take steps to leave this relationship or if I'm just feeding into my anxiety about dumb issues.
Tl;DR I can't tell if I'm making it up or if my husband is manipulative. Tonight he completely changed a story on me and I can't shake it.

Reading a different thread triggered this question for me. What is the one thing that your narcissistic parent(s) or caregiver(s) has said to you in the past that you will never forget, as long as you live?
I think the one that I will never forget is one day I was in the basement in our house. Growing up. I must have been about 15 or 16. I was working approximately 25 hours a week, I had undiagnosed ADHD, and my marks were way worse than they had been in junior high and elementary school. My mom accused me of liking a boy, and that was the reason that she thought my grades were lower than she wanted them to be.
Keep in mind, I was in the 70th and 80th percentiles, but my mom was not happy with those grades at all because they were not remotely similar to the ones that I have been getting (think high 90th percentiles) a few years before.
The other one that really stands out for me, and that I will never forget, is when I had a nervous breakdown when I was 19. I was pulled off work and pulled out of school by my doctor and diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety, and started taking medication and was going to a therapist. And my mom's response was, " Yes, I thought you'd had depression since you were about 12".
This response at the time was confusing to me and more than a little infuriating. My mom, for context, is a therapist. And it made me pretty angry that she had seen signs of something wrong when I was a child, and had just not said anything, not taken me to therapy, not spoken to me about it, nothing.
Now that I'm an adult though looking back on this time, I feel like I understand her comment a lot better. She was looking for anyone to blame but herself, while also wanting to make sure that she was still the center of attention. Despite the fact that I was dealing with a pretty significant diagnosis and it was a diagnosis that eventually would leave me down the path to learning about my ADHD and starting to take medication for it and having it basically resolve all symptoms of anxiety and depression. Even in that time, my mom could not pull the focus off herself, and still had to make it sound like it was about her. Her. That she hadn't missed it. But she hadn't screwed up.
I think the final one that I will never forget is when I had been out visiting my grandmother, and she told me that my grandmother had said that I was " actually good to hang around" that weekend. I remember this distinctly because my grandmother was not like that. She was a very kind person who desperately loved her grandchildren. I highly doubt she was gossiping about me behind my back to my mom. And now I think that why my mom said that was because she wanted to own that interaction in some way. My interaction with my grandmother didn't belong to her, and that made her jealous.
I would love to hear thoughts, impressions, and your own personal experiences. I'm always surprised how much I relate to so many posts on this sub.

Below is a list of the deltas awarded in this post.
Please note that a change of view is not necessarily a reversal, and that OP awarding a delta doesn't mean the conversation has ended.
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Deltas from OP HyShroom9

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we just got home from couples therapy and i am ripping my hair out (only metaphorically, for the moment. actually did that a couple days ago and cried hard enough to pop a blood vessel in my eyeball!)
i have been waiting for today for TWO WEEKS. two weeks of HELL. i had a well thought out short list of things to ask about! i brought my notebook, my reflection journal, and the “help her heal” workbook! i was ready to WORK!
we get in there and all he wants to do is yell and seek validation from the therapist about how he can’t do shit for me as long as i am using an addictive substance to cope right now.
let me give background:
i started using a drug that i will not name. it is not weed or alcohol. i had tried it casually with friends a handful of times prior to DDay. on dday, my partner rubbed it in my face, sarcastically telling me to “go to my plug” about it eyeroll
i’ve used it almost daily since, we are entering week 6. i have begged him for an ounce of the love and support i showed him about HIS addiction that he hid for NINE YEARS.
THIS HAS BEEN A MONTH(s, he’s convinced i’ve been doing this for 6 months regularly)
i can not cope with life. i reached for the closest thing available to numb the pain. but apparently, this substance is his equivalent to how i feel about him using P. it’s in no way equal, and i am crushed.
i spent the last week crying and screaming while he berated me for it. i just want to feel like he cares even a little.
he said he will not be there for me in any way until i stop. he can not see past the drug. he won’t. he doesn’t care why i started or why i continue.
I DONT HAVE ANYONE OR ANYTHING AND I AM AFRAID RIGHT NOW. I AM HAVING SCARY THOUGHTS.
i’m all alone and i’m stuck and he keeps making it worse somehow.
we wasted the hour, but at least the therapist seemed very sympathetic to me while also getting the message across that we need to work together.
i’m still hurt, maybe worse than i was going in. why do i need to beg this hard for him to do the bare minimum?
edit to add: when we got home (we drove separately, went right after he left work) he was nice? now he’s watching his first bloom for partners live group session for free. i pulled it up, but he wanted to watch. he’s fully immersed. i have no clue what to think about anything in my life right now. one day at a time right?
second edit because my brain is a mess for both obvious reasons here: I DO WANT TO QUIT! i am quitting. i’ve never struggled with addiction to anything other than nicotine. i even used prescriptions and other stupid “party” substances in high school, regularly, for longer periods than this, and didn’t have any kind of addiction/“craving” or withdrawal symptoms. right now with what i am using, i am aware that i very well may be experiencing onset of dependency - and maybe i am justifying it by thinking that i am choosing to use it to cope, because it works! BUT I WANT TO STOP. i just want someone to be there as i walk the tightrope that is 1) the immediate aftermath of the worst DDay i’ve ever had, 2) a sick elderly parent i care for and who lives with me, 3) raising my 10 yr old when i am not yet 30, 4) returning to full time employment, 5) the possible upcoming hysterectomy caused by 6) chronic fatigue caused by 7) acute anemia from extreme period blood loss. i was planning on taking short term medical leave the whole week before DDay. my leave started the following workday post-DDay. i have to return soon despite all of this, AND cope with everything else?! i don’t WANT to do drugs! who the hell WANTS to do drugs to simple be able to exist through the day and make it to tomorrow?! but the only adult person i have, since i have no safe friends or family, is choosing to abandon me in the dust after i did the opposite when he came to me for help with his PA. i hate this

For a little context, I(14F) and my mom(39F) have been living with her bf(40?M) for almost a year now, rent free as her bf offered it. Her bf is the type of be very particular about things, and we, not so much. I don’t know the specifics, but my mom told me that she scraped a window by using the wrong cleaning tool. This made him pissed, and ultimately somehow getting them into a huge fight. Now, she has been sleeping in my room for the past few weeks.They have talked, but I have been told it had not gone well. Since it’s summer, my room is very humid + the fact my window is broken so I cannot open it. Usually, I would leave my door open for air to come in, but my mom wants to keep it closed at all times so what I assume, she doesn’t have to see him.This is getting annoying for me, and I have even resorted to staying in the bathroom instead because it’s even more cool. And in all honesty, I’d rather sleep in it. I suggested for her to sleep in my brothers room sometimes to, but she says she can’t because of certain reasons I feel bad to say as it would embarrass him no doubt. Sure, I understand if this goes on for a few days, but it’s been like almost a month now off this going on. I don’t mind moving either, but I do have close friends in my school and money for renting is high at the moment. I just don‘t know if it’s selfish for me not to want her to continue this, as I think she wouldn’t mind if I was in her place. The fact she also pays and does almost everything for me too is another factor, and I feel that I’m selfish for not being here for her as repayment, I guess.

BACKGROUND
Long story short I spent 8 years on the West Coast holding increasingly important positions in the energy industry, but I hated it with every fiber of my being. I started taking nursing prerequisite courses in January of 2020. Family trauma happened. I moved home to Texas to be closer to my family, quit my job (was making ~$130k with bonus), and took the plunge and went to back to school for nursing at 31. I am half way done with an accelerated BSN program and I have a 4.0 GPA. I love it so much despite it being very difficult. I have externship currently and I have an ICU internship lined up for my final semester, which is basically a guaranteed new grad job.
I currently live with my mom and brother. We are remodeling our house so we are in an apartment for a bit. Very tight quarters but thankful to be with them. Boyfriend just successfully made a big career move and is now a superintendent for an important and well respected organization in town making $60k annually with a 8% bonus. Very proud of him and very excited for our future - we are talking about getting engaged in the next year. He is getting an apartment in the next couple months after living at home with his family due to some major family health issues he has been helping out with so you will see some of the apartment search start to happen in this diary!
Currently boyfriend and I split going out expenses pretty much down the line, but with this new job we had a discussion last week about how he will pay for the majority of our going out costs moving forward once he gets his first paycheck this month until I start working full time again in January!
Previous money diary from August 2022 here.
ASSETS (comparing last money diary to now):
​

	August 2022	June 2023	Difference
401k	$156,400	$158,600	$2,200
Roth IRA	$68,000	$68,500	(500)
Saving's account	$41,001.43	$26,572.63	($14,428.81)
Checking Account	$3,024.58	$915.41	($2,109)
HSA	$8,800	$7,100	($1,700)
Brokerage	$440	$444	$4
UGMA	$85,000	$84,000	($1,000)
Pension	forgot to include	$27,000	N/A

NET WORTH: $373k
**I don’t carry any credit card debt / no student loan debt / no equity in any kind of home. I was lucky enough to be in a position where I saved up over $40k cash to pay for living expenses when in school. My UGMA account will be used as part of a down payment for a house in the next couple years. My current BSN degree is being covered through family. Also, trying to figure out what to do with my pension - depending how finances go the next 8 months I am in school / if I have any emergencies (I have 2 senior pets) I could cash part of it out or completely roll it over into an IRA.
INCOME
Income Progression: I worked in the energy industry for 8 years; my starting salary was $35,000.
I worked in the Seattle area starting out at $35k in 2014. Moved to a new job in 2016 for $65k and then another new job in 2018 for $85k +12% bonus. Got up to $104k + 20% bonus before I quit. Also worked as a CNA on the weekends for about 6 months for $15 an hour during COVID to make sure I really wanted to go to nursing school.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: It varies but the average so far this year it is $535. I have an incredibly flexible externship at a hospital very close to where I live where my director literally just lets me show up whenever I want to work. I make $17 an hour. I met a couple incredible mentors but I think I am going to quit soon since it just won’t be feasible to work this semester and I already have my ICU internship lined up for September. Trying to be easier on myself and put myself first and I feel very lucky that I don’t need to work. Don’t get me wrong the extra money is SO NICE but I want to concentrate on school, myself, family, partner, and friends. Work on top of an accelerated nursing program is too much. I am actually the only one working in my cohort currently.
Any Other Monthly Income Here: I live with my mom right now and she pays for most of the groceries, utilities, etc. I feel incredibly privileged and lucky that I can live with her and that she is able to support me in this way while I transition careers. I do lots for her to support her such as chores, errands, paying for big Costco runs, etc. My boyfriend also helps out with pet expenses and other things I want / need.
MONTHLY EXPENSES

• Rent: $400 to my mom for a very discounted rate at our current apartment. I don’t pay rent when we are at the house. I will not be paying rent when I semi-move in with my boyfriend in the next couple months. Our goal is to get our own luxury apartment next year close to both of our places of employment after a year lease at a cheaper place. Between now and then I’ll split my time with him and my mom.
• Cellphone: $15 (on family plan & I just pay for additional data)
• Spotify: $5.40 (student plan)
• iCloud: $2.99
• Prime: $8.11
• Gym membership: $20
• Regular therapy: $5 a session and I go biweekly
• Health insurance: $122.54 monthly
• Costco: $60 annually

I allocate the following to my biggest expense categories monthly:

• Gas: $120
• Groceries: $300
• Eating out: $400
• Pet expenses: $200
• Other discretionary spending: $400

WEDNESDAY - DAY 1
8:45: I slept 10 hours last night and it was glorious. I worked a 12 hour shift at the hospital yesterday and our patient acuity was very high.
9:30: Make a coffee and walk and feed my pup. I walk over to the pool for a morning swim. I love a quiet morning swim so much.
11:30: I had a nice 500 yd swim, drank a Premier Protein shake & ate overnight oats with blueberries for breakfast, had a relaxing shower, and started some laundry. Feeling anxious about everything I have on my plate currently. Also I feel hungover from work yesterday. I was going to work another 12 hour shift tomorrow but now I don’t know if I can handle it with school also starting on Friday and a very busy social weekend coming up. Luckily, my director literally lets me show up whenever I want so I may do 7 or 8 hours tomorrow instead of a full 12. Try to table my feelings to discuss in therapy this afternoon.
11:40: Sit down to finish some online orientation for my internship that is coming up my final semester.
13:03: Orientation stuff only took about 20 minutes thank god. I ran to the grocery store and grab a 4 pack of watermelon Celsius, frozen veggies, Eggo waffles, tea bags, string cheese, coffee filters, Wheat Thins, and lean ground beef ($37.01). Head up to the rooftop lounge at the apartment complex to FaceTime a friend that lives across the country since there is zero privacy in the apartment.
14:15: Get off FaceTime, work on some more laundry, and head out to therapy.
16:15: Good, productive, fun, and validating therapy session and I make it over to my friend’s condo to check on her kitties. I had set up a reoccurring biweekly therapy appointment now that I know my school schedule for the upcoming semester too. We talked about money fixation and anxiety and trying to let that go. We agree that I should sleep in a bit tomorrow, walk my dog, go for a swim, and then go to work. I don’t ~need~ the money so working 12 hours vs 7 or 8 is not an issue. My mental health is more important. Also the work hangover from yesterday is real.
17:00: Boyfriend comes over after work and jumps in the shower while I’m a couch potato (Disclaimer: he’s friends with my friend too and she’s 100% comfortable with him hanging out too.) We relax and hang with the kitties and catch up on our days.
18:45: We head to dinner. We grab burritos at one of our favorite local spots and I pay ($25.88). We look at houses for fun on Zillow and discuss what apartments we want to tour in the next couple weeks.
20:00: I make it home and have a long talk with my mom about her friend who ended up in the hospital today with a compound fracture. Long story short I’ll need to stay up until midnight to hand off the house keys, garage door opener, etc. to a friend who is driving into town that can take care of her dog. Her dog is a pit bull that is vicious to strangers so no one else can go over to the house other than this friend who pet sits and knows the dog.
23:30: The friend makes it and we hand him the keys and everything he needs. I had spent the evening tidying up and meal prepping and looking at more apartments. It’s amazing to me how much time goes into keeping a clean and tidy home.
12:08: I spent a half hour setting up my June budget and then pass out.
TOTAL: $62.89
THURSDAY - DAY 2
9:05: I finally wake up to a bunch of texts from multiple different friends / friend groups. Ugh. I’m just feeling really anxious about school starting tomorrow, my mom being very distraught over her colleague / friend, working today, and a busy weekend coming up. I make some coffee and walk my pup.
9:33: I call my mom while feeding my pup breakfast and tell her how I’m feeling and we both agreed I ran around too much last semester and I told her I am setting firm boundaries with myself to basically not do anything social during the school week once clinical start (Monday - Thursday) unless it’s like a super casual dinner and I truly have the capacity for it. I burned myself out at the end of last semester and spent weeks putting the pieces back together.
9:55: I make another cup of coffee and take myself for a morning swim. It brings me so much joy and grounds me. I swim 500 yards and then jump into the shower, throw my scrubs on, kiss my pup goodbye and head to the hospital. I drink a chocolate Primer Protein shake and call my friend L on the way to hear how her trip has been going so far. It was nice to catch up even though we saw each other over the weekend lol.
10:54: Ate my overnight oats made with half and half and some blueberries, clocked in, and headed out to the floor. Immediately get asked to be a sitter which literally never happens. Thank you universe. Feeling a little less anxious now that I’m here and feeling thankful for the little bit of extra money I’m making and being here for my community.
14:04: Maybe not thank you universe - the patient slept for a while then got extremely combative and was trying to punch me. I switch off with a coworker and head to the break room to eat a bowl I made with frozen veggies + rotisserie chicken from Costco + cheddar cheese on top.
19:09: I finally clock out. I had a snack of 2 rice cakes and some almonds at one point. Rest of work was wild (i.e. a psychotic patient that pulled out his IV and was throwing things everywhere, someone screaming in pain for hours nonstop, etc.) and had me questioning what I am doing making this career change. I am tired.
19:49: I make it home after swinging by L’s to check on her kitties. Jump in the shower. My mom has dinner ready and I scarf down this gorgeous basil, mozzarella, peppers, tomatoes, avocados, and olive salad + a couple Trader Joe’s dolmas + a couple pieces of fresh bread. Delicious. I force myself to get my food and my school bag ready for tomorrow and lay my scrubs out before I crawl into bed a little after 9.
TOTAL: $0
FRIDAY - DAY 3
06:22: Alarm goes off and I roll out of bed and take my pup for a nice walk. Give him breakfast / shower / throw on my scrubs / pack my lunch / give the pup a big kiss goodbye and I am out the door a little after 7:00.
07:47: I get to school and I am NOT feeling it lol. I stopped at Costco for gas on my way ($20.67) and I also swung by a very Texas niche store that sells all kinds of beef jerky my brother really likes to grab some for his birthday coming up ($17.98).
10:00: Class is boring - it’s tough getting back into it with an 8 hour cardiac lecture. It’s good to see my friends but struggle is real. I run into my favorite professor and she makes my morning. I tell her all about my upcoming internship and my boyfriend’s new job and she was stoked and told me to “lock him down” hahaha. I also make 2 phone calls to apartment complexes we are interested in cause my boyfriend doesn’t get great reception at work during business hours. One place doesn’t have any current availability but the lady was so nice and will be sending me a virtual tour later today. Schedule another tour on Monday afternoon.
11:30: We break for lunch and I eat the same thing as yesterday - rotisserie chicken + frozen veggies + cheddar cheese.
12:30: Spend the afternoon in class completely unable to concentrate. The professor is throwing ECG rhythms around left and right. 8 hours of ECG lecture is NOT a productive way to learn the material. I work on a couple study guides during class cause I cannot.
3:30: We get out a little early and I rush to meet my mom for a walk through of the house. I follow her back to her office because I sent a big Chewy order there. Pick up the box along with a Diet Coke, order us Cava for dinner, pick up Cava, check on my friends cats on my way home real quick, and then have a shower and relax. Mom pays for Cava and I thank her multiple times.
7:00: We eat dinner all together when everyone is eventually home (harissa avocado bowl for me!) and then my boyfriend calls right when I head out to walk my dog. Perfect. I miss him and have been having anxiety around our new schedules. We have a good 30 minute chat about our days before I spend the evening basically doing nothing. I chat with my family and mess around on my phone. Text boyfriend about different apartments.
22:44: Bed time after I brush and floss my teeth. I’m zonked from the week.
TOTAL: $38.65
SATURDAY - DAY 4
08:30: I’m awake! Did not sleep well at all cause thunderstorms. My pup is deathly afraid and will not stop shaking for hours so I end up sleeping on the couch on and off. We were up and down all night but somehow I feel okay. We go for a quick walk, feed him, and start a load of whites in the washer.
09:08: I have a shower, and then I head out to get my family coffee from one of our favorite spots.
10:45: Make it back home with 2 cold brews for my brother and I and a latte for mom. I also picked up 5 breakfast tacos and a German chocolate cake for Sunday dinner tomorrow ($56.24). I eat a bean and cheese taco and a potato and egg taco, start some laundry, and put air in my tires with my home compressor since my low air light has been on in my car for an embarrassing amount of time. Brother needs air in his tires too so turns into a production lol.
12:18: Spent a couple hours putzing around dealing with the tires and more laundry and packing a bag for tonight. We are headed to the lake for a friend’s bday party and I have no clue what I want to wear so I pack a lot of options and clothes for church tomorrow morning too. Now it’s time to drive around for a little bit and check out some potential apartments and do a small Target run.
14:02: I make it home from apartment cruising and my Target run. I bought a 3 subject notebook, tire pressure gauge with valve caps included, two bags of frozen veggies, mini coke zeros, and a bag of Lesser Evil popcorn ($21.50). I was so tempted to stop for lunch on my way home but lines were long everywhere so I made myself some cheesy eggs + 2 Eggo waffles when I got home. Put the valve cap on my tire that is missing one.
14:36: Make it to L’s condo and clean up after the cats and start the Roomba. Boyfriend texts that he is out of work and on his way over! He’s been up since 4 am this morning for work and I am feeling some type of way with everything on my plate / anxiety so we will see how long we make it tonight lol.
15:30: S is showered and we are out the door!
16:30: We make it to the rental, change into our bathing suits, and walk down to the river.
19:00: We hang out in the river for a good 2.5 hours. It was a good time - nice to chat with my school friends and their partners. Boyfriend and I head out before the real partying starts lol.
20:00: We eat dinner at this cute Tex Mex place. Boyfriend has some kind of alcoholic mixed drink and we share a fajita for 2 plate. Boyfriend pays - it was $70.56 with tip. I drive us back because he does not like to drive even after one drink which I am 100% here for. We are so tired lol.
21:15: Make it back to L’s condo and we take a hot shower and get into bed in the guest bedroom. It takes forever for us to both fall asleep.
TOTAL: $77.74
SUNDAY - DAY 5
6:50: Oh boy neither of us slept well. There was another thunderstorm. One of the cats was yowling nonstop outside our door. The ceiling fan was clanking on and off. The bed was way too soft. Up and down again all night for a second night in a row for me lol.
8:11: I’m showered and we are both dressed and we head out to one of our favorite taquerias for breakfast. I get 2 bean and cheese tacos and one machacado + egg taco. Boyfriend also gets 3 tacos and we both get coffee. We sit and chat for a while until it was time to go to church. I pay on the way out ($22.98 with tip).
11:40: After an hour of church and an hour meeting for a committee I’m on - I’m wiped out. Still have a house walk through to do with my family and boyfriend so I head over there and we are there for about an hour.
13:10: Finally made it home, walked my pup, and made myself a late lunch of Dave’s Killer bread toast + peanut butter + banana.
13:54: A girlfriend calls and asks if I want to get a pedicure this afternoon. We decide to get dinner together on Thursday instead. I’m actually very touched she called me because we are friends through another friend and normally don’t get together just the two of us. I’m really happy she reached out. I also invite one of my friends from school - I have been wanting them to meet for a while.
14:30: Nap timeeeee! I knock out for an hour then realize how thirsty I am and how badly I need to get out of the apartment. I get up, take the pup for a spin with my brother, and head to Sonic to get a large diet cherry limeade and then head to L’s condo to check on the kitties and chill ($3.34).
18:00: I spent a couple hours chilling on the internet - working on my google calendar, school organization, church emails, reviewing some apartments we may drive by tomorrow, and I download the remaining episodes of season 1 of Nurse Jackie to watch tonight. I had bought the complete first season over a month ago and still haven’t watched it all lol. That’s how little I watch tv.
20:00: We had bibimbap for dinner and German chocolate cake for dessert. Delicious. I clean up the dishes and do more laundry because that’s my life between school, work, working out, having 2 hairy pets, etc. Unpack my bags from the river day and sleepover last night too. Chat with my family.
22:00: Crawl into bed and watch some Nurse Jackie before passing out.
TOTAL: $26.32
MONDAY - DAY 6
7:33: I slept better but still tossed and turned. Still just anxious with everything going on, especially the start of another intense semester.
8:47: Pup is fed and walked. I open the windows because it is 68 degrees which is unheard of in June in south Texas.
10:06: I ended up doing a deep clean of my room hahah. Wiped down and vacuumed every surface. So much hair. My pup is shedding so bad. I change my bedding and toss my comforter in the wash. Thank goodness I have 2 sets of sheets now. I had only 1 for the longest time lol. I take a break and eat some Greek yogurt + pecans + banana + drizzle of honey.
11:03: I vacuumed the common areas in the apartment, took a long shower, and I’m dressed and ready for my boyfriend to pick me up. I felt like being cute today so I put on this new leather skirt from Alice + Olivia my boyfriend got me as a present that I haven’t worn yet + a white crop top + my cheetah old skool Vans. I’m so tired though lololol. This is one of the only Mondays we both have off for the foreseeable future so I am gonna rally and make the most of it!
11:15: Boyfriend is so tired too bahah. We go grab coffees at this cute little coffee shop I’ve been wanting to check out. I get a cortado. Boyfriend gets an iced caramel almond milk latte and I treat ($11.82 with tip). We sit and chill and map out what apartments we want to check out today.
12:30: Walk across the street to grab Tex Mex for lunch at a pretty famous place in town. I get the enchilada plate and boyfriend gets a chicken quesadilla plate. He pays and it is $27.89 with tip.
1:30: Go for our first apartment tour of the day and it is depressing. We drive around and check out the other apartments we are I interested in and then go on one more tour at a place that we are really impressed by. It’s $1.3k or so for a 500 sq ft one bedroom and that’s a stretch. Ideally he wants the base rent to be $1,000 or less which is quite doable. Yet again - south Texas prices for the win. He is looking at older buildings, but they are well kept up and in good neighborhoods. They are not in the hottest places to be in town, but definitely still nice.
16:00: We go back to L’s condo and chill and take care of the kitties. Discuss the apartments and ask my brother if he wants to get dinner with us and he agrees.
18:00: We head back to my apartment, pick up my brother, and head to dinner. We order a large caesar salad, an arugula and sausage pizza, and a mushroom and pepperoni pizza. This spot does $10 two topping pizzas on Monday and it slaps. I treat my boyfriend and brother to dinner ($48.01 with tip).
20:00: Home and boyfriend walks my pup with me. Brother makes us both tea and we have a nice cup of tea and chat until boyfriend heads home. I put together my breakfast and lunch tomorrow and then lay down to chill and have some quiet time.
22:30: Bed time! First day of critical care didactic is tomorrow and I am feeling mostly excited.
TOTAL: $59.82
TUESDAY - DAY 7
6:22: My alarm goes off and wakes me from a deep sleep. I finally slept a good 8 hours though!
7:10: I am showered and throw on some black Lululemon Align leggings and a swiftly tech tee. I was gonna wear real pants but screw that haha. I am really dragging this morning.
7:50: Make it to school and lecture starts at 8. Honestly - that lecture could have been given in 45 minutes but we spent the first 2 hours simply going over the schedule and clarifying assignments since everything is such a disorganized hot mess at the beginning of the semester.
10:05: We take a break and call a fellow church congregation member to see if we want to meet today to tour an organization that supports people immigrating. We are debating if we want to allocate church donation funds to them. We agree to meet at the location at 1:30.
12:41: We are done with class and I stayed a bit after to start making my study guide for our first test even though it isn’t for 5 weeks. I realize the time and quickly pack up and go heat up my lunch. Chat with an MSN student who I had met in orientation for my internship a couple weeks ago and he expressed his frustration about how the start of this semester is rough for him too.
2:38: We finish our tour and we are very impressed at the clean and organized operation. We agree to each write our own follow up email to the rest of the group before the end of the day supplying the church donating.
3:30: I make some jasmine tea and have some quiet time when I get home before starting on some dosage calculation problems that are due on Friday.
5:45: I end up spending almost 2.5 hours on homework - dosage calculations, an article summary, and start on a medication sheet. Ouch. I lay down for 20 minutes, take my pup out, and then head out to meet my friend for dinner at Cava.
6:30: I get the lemon chicken bowl and pita chips ($13.69) and we sit and chat for a 1.5 hours. We just saw each other a couple weeks ago, but so much to catch up on.
20:00: We agree to go on a double date in the next couple weeks and I head home. I walk my pup with my mom and brother, pack my gym bag and my food for tomorrow, write my follow up emails from today’s visit to the church committee, and relax in bed.
TOTAL: $13.69
TALLY OF DAILY EXPENSES:

• Food + Drink: $240.36
• Fun / Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $0
• Clothes + Beauty: $0
• Transport: $30.67
• Other: $17.98

TOTAL EXPENSES: $279.11
REFLECTION
I spent quite a bit on going out to eat this week with my boyfriend, family, and friends. It was the end of my school break and boyfriend is transitioning to a new job so we were a bit out of whack with spending on food. Usually we eat at home with our families more, but it was nice to go out and enjoy ourselves too. It was a super busy week for me too - which is the norm lately. I have a great community and social life here compared to the West Coast and I do not take that for granted. Trying to make myself more of a priority so I don’t burn out again, which is difficult for me.

For context, I (19 F) met my mom’s best friend (39F) when I was in the second grade (around 7 y/o). My mom and her met at my sister’s kindergarten since her friend’s son was the same age as my sister. My mom’s best friend eventually became like an aunt to me since she would invite herself to family events. She was at my parent’s wedding, my sister’s quinceañera, my high school graduation, my little brother’s baby shower and all of his birthdays. You get the idea. There was no event she would miss. I eventually thought of her as family and saw her presence as pure intentions but I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I first met her, I didn’t like her and now I know why.
It all started on October 2021. It was past 11pm and there was a gathering at my house. The adults were drinking and I was sitting beside my mom. My dad and some of his friends, including my mom’s bsf’s husband, went for more beer to a gas station nearby. When they got back, one of the men’s cellphones ringed off and I jokingly said “heard that toxic wives? Check their phones up” not thinking any of them actually would but my mom immediately called out for my dad’s phone and he hesitantly handed it over. They were laughing at first but my mom suddenly gasped and my dad started fighting for his phone. Turns out there were explicit messages but the previous conversation was erased and there was no name but my mom memorized the last two digits which ended in the mom’s bsf’s phone number. Among lies and my dad’s gaslighting, my mom eventually forgave him.
Later on, up till August of 2022, my mom’s best friend called her up to admit to her, forced by her husband, that my dad had been cheating with her since then (oct 2021). Not to mention how she and my dad have obviously being cyber bullying her since 2012. Even though me and my mom don’t have evidence, the things they say point that could either be her ex bsf or my dad or both. But that’s not all. Her friend, who seemed so innocent and supporting, was also, and still is, screwing my uncle who is close to my dad. And so many more men. Actually, for a second there she thought she could be pregnant cause at least my dad hadn’t been wearing a condom. My dad is no better, he has been sleeping around and begging my mom to not leave him lmao. Then he has episodes where he throws tantrums and calls my mom names and overall acts like a child then goes off calling people immature randomly. My mom is only here for financial issues though, but she is in deep depression, suffering anxiety attacks, going to a therapist which my dad won’t pay for, and seeing a psychiatrist to stop her often crying episodes. It is just too much and my dad and the ex bsf have no consequences at all. I have a deep desire to take revenge on this woman and my dad who victimize themselves to a point where my dad’s family’s seems to support my dad’s cheating is throwing me off too. Should I tell them all the truth? How could I ever take revenge? It’s just all so unfair.

So for some context I'm applying to PA school and iv had a thought in the back of my mind and I don't know if perhaps Im missing somthing. Most schools require a list of prerequisite courses, A&P, Bio, Chem, ETC, give or take a class or two. All is fine and good, those classes make sense for someone wanting to take on a program like PA school, hell even med school. But the disadvantage im seeing in the process is that this places those who seek to academically challenge themselves, or avoid picking a major with a practical "rubber meets the road" outcome (you can find a job with a chemistry degree short term faster and more reliably than a health major and with likely more pay) and by picking a major that may even exceed the difficulty of the prereq courses this may naturally result in a GPA that is not as high as others. This also leaves the student having to weigh whether or not he or she has the same down time to volunteer, work a part time job/ gain HCE as the other students who may not have to study at the same pace or for the same amount of time due to the nature of their major not being as demanding. I feel that once things are said and done and we compare these two hypothetical students on paper, despite the greater challenge of taking a degree like chemistry/ biochem we still get just a basic once over "look at who has a bigger number" and move on, not taking into consideration the material that was present outside the prereq courses past "eww a B+". to sum up what I'm saying, I feel like the process has a huge flaw in that students with easier majors are at more advantage than those with harder majors and its easier to get their foot in the door. I feel like if they are gonna require prereq courses, just look at the grades of the prereq courses. id like to know however if anyone knows if having a strong background in science is even looked at and taken into consideration past the prereq's.

Reposting this, long read but relevant for the coming attacks
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1. COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum
2. Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
3. Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
4. How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
5. Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

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COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum..
There are several techniques for the control and manipulation of a internet forum no matter what, or who is on it. We will go over each technique and demonstrate that only a minimal number of operatives can be used to eventually and effectively gain a control of a 'uncontrolled forum.'
Technique #1 - 'FORUM SLIDING'
If a very sensitive posting of a critical nature has been posted on a forum - it can be quickly removed from public view by 'forum sliding.' In this technique a number of unrelated posts are quietly prepositioned on the forum and allowed to 'age.' Each of these misdirectional forum postings can then be called upon at will to trigger a 'forum slide.' The second requirement is that several fake accounts exist, which can be called upon, to ensure that this technique is not exposed to the public. To trigger a 'forum slide' and 'flush' the critical post out of public view it is simply a matter of logging into each account both real and fake and then 'replying' to prepositined postings with a simple 1 or 2 line comment. This brings the unrelated postings to the top of the forum list, and the critical posting 'slides' down the front page, and quickly out of public view. Although it is difficult or impossible to censor the posting it is now lost in a sea of unrelated and unuseful postings. By this means it becomes effective to keep the readers of the forum reading unrelated and non-issue items.
Technique #2 - 'CONSENSUS CRACKING'
A second highly effective technique (which you can see in operation all the time at www.abovetopsecret.com) is 'consensus cracking.' To develop a consensus crack, the following technique is used. Under the guise of a fake account a posting is made which looks legitimate and is towards the truth is made - but the critical point is that it has a VERY WEAK PREMISE without substantive proof to back the posting. Once this is done then under alternative fake accounts a very strong position in your favour is slowly introduced over the life of the posting. It is IMPERATIVE that both sides are initially presented, so the uninformed reader cannot determine which side is the truth. As postings and replies are made the stronger 'evidence' or disinformation in your favour is slowly 'seeded in.' Thus the uninformed reader will most like develop the same position as you, and if their position is against you their opposition to your posting will be most likely dropped. However in some cases where the forum members are highly educated and can counter your disinformation with real facts and linked postings, you can then 'abort' the consensus cracking by initiating a 'forum slide.'
Technique #3 - 'TOPIC DILUTION'
Topic dilution is not only effective in forum sliding it is also very useful in keeping the forum readers on unrelated and non-productive issues. This is a critical and useful technique to cause a 'RESOURCE BURN.' By implementing continual and non-related postings that distract and disrupt (trolling ) the forum readers they are more effectively stopped from anything of any real productivity. If the intensity of gradual dilution is intense enough, the readers will effectively stop researching and simply slip into a 'gossip mode.' In this state they can be more easily misdirected away from facts towards uninformed conjecture and opinion. The less informed they are the more effective and easy it becomes to control the entire group in the direction that you would desire the group to go in. It must be stressed that a proper assessment of the psychological capabilities and levels of education is first determined of the group to determine at what level to 'drive in the wedge.' By being too far off topic too quickly it may trigger censorship by a forum moderator.
Technique #4 - 'INFORMATION COLLECTION'
Information collection is also a very effective method to determine the psychological level of the forum members, and to gather intelligence that can be used against them. In this technique in a light and positive environment a 'show you mine so me yours' posting is initiated. From the number of replies and the answers that are provided much statistical information can be gathered. An example is to post your 'favourite weapon' and then encourage other members of the forum to showcase what they have. In this matter it can be determined by reverse proration what percentage of the forum community owns a firearm, and or a illegal weapon. This same method can be used by posing as one of the form members and posting your favourite 'technique of operation.' From the replies various methods that the group utilizes can be studied and effective methods developed to stop them from their activities.
Technique #5 - 'ANGER TROLLING'
Statistically, there is always a percentage of the forum posters who are more inclined to violence. In order to determine who these individuals are, it is a requirement to present a image to the forum to deliberately incite a strong psychological reaction. From this the most violent in the group can be effectively singled out for reverse IP location and possibly local enforcement tracking. To accomplish this only requires posting a link to a video depicting a local police officer massively abusing his power against a very innocent individual. Statistically of the million or so police officers in America there is always one or two being caught abusing there powers and the taping of the activity can be then used for intelligence gathering purposes - without the requirement to 'stage' a fake abuse video. This method is extremely effective, and the more so the more abusive the video can be made to look. Sometimes it is useful to 'lead' the forum by replying to your own posting with your own statement of violent intent, and that you 'do not care what the authorities think!!' inflammation. By doing this and showing no fear it may be more effective in getting the more silent and self-disciplined violent intent members of the forum to slip and post their real intentions. This can be used later in a court of law during prosecution.
Technique #6 - 'GAINING FULL CONTROL'
It is important to also be harvesting and continually maneuvering for a forum moderator position. Once this position is obtained, the forum can then be effectively and quietly controlled by deleting unfavourable postings - and one can eventually steer the forum into complete failure and lack of interest by the general public. This is the 'ultimate victory' as the forum is no longer participated with by the general public and no longer useful in maintaining their freedoms. Depending on the level of control you can obtain, you can deliberately steer a forum into defeat by censoring postings, deleting memberships, flooding, and or accidentally taking the forum offline. By this method the forum can be quickly killed. However it is not always in the interest to kill a forum as it can be converted into a 'honey pot' gathering center to collect and misdirect newcomers and from this point be completely used for your control for your agenda purposes.
CONCLUSION
Remember these techniques are only effective if the forum participants DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THEM. Once they are aware of these techniques the operation can completely fail, and the forum can become uncontrolled. At this point other avenues must be considered such as initiating a false legal precidence to simply have the forum shut down and taken offline. This is not desirable as it then leaves the enforcement agencies unable to track the percentage of those in the population who always resist attempts for control against them. Many other techniques can be utilized and developed by the individual and as you develop further techniques of infiltration and control it is imperative to share then with HQ.
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Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
Note: The first rule and last five (or six, depending on situation) rules are generally not directly within the ability of the traditional disinfo artist to apply. These rules are generally used more directly by those at the leadership, key players, or planning level of the criminal conspiracy or conspiracy to cover up.
1. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Regardless of what you know, don't discuss it -- especially if you are a public figure, news anchor, etc. If it's not reported, it didn't happen, and you never have to deal with the issues.
2. Become incredulous and indignant. Avoid discussing key issues and instead focus on side issues which can be used show the topic as being critical of some otherwise sacrosanct group or theme. This is also known as the 'How dare you!' gambit.
3. Create rumor mongers. Avoid discussing issues by describing all charges, regardless of venue or evidence, as mere rumors and wild accusations. Other derogatory terms mutually exclusive of truth may work as well. This method which works especially well with a silent press, because the only way the public can learn of the facts are through such 'arguable rumors'. If you can associate the material with the Internet, use this fact to certify it a 'wild rumor' from a 'bunch of kids on the Internet' which can have no basis in fact.
4. Use a straw man. Find or create a seeming element of your opponent's argument which you can easily knock down to make yourself look good and the opponent to look bad. Either make up an issue you may safely imply exists based on your interpretation of the opponent/opponent arguments/situation, or select the weakest aspect of the weakest charges. Amplify their significance and destroy them in a way which appears to debunk all the charges, real and fabricated alike, while actually avoiding discussion of the real issues.
5. Sidetrack opponents with name calling and ridicule. This is also known as the primary 'attack the messenger' ploy, though other methods qualify as variants of that approach. Associate opponents with unpopular titles such as 'kooks', 'right-wing', 'liberal', 'left-wing', 'terrorists', 'conspiracy buffs', 'radicals', 'militia', 'racists', 'religious fanatics', 'sexual deviates', and so forth. This makes others shrink from support out of fear of gaining the same label, and you avoid dealing with issues.
6. Hit and Run. In any public forum, make a brief attack of your opponent or the opponent position and then scamper off before an answer can be fielded, or simply ignore any answer. This works extremely well in Internet and letters-to-the-editor environments where a steady stream of new identities can be called upon without having to explain criticism, reasoning -- simply make an accusation or other attack, never discussing issues, and never answering any subsequent response, for that would dignify the opponent's viewpoint.
7. Question motives. Twist or amplify any fact which could be taken to imply that the opponent operates out of a hidden personal agenda or other bias. This avoids discussing issues and forces the accuser on the defensive.
8. Invoke authority. Claim for yourself or associate yourself with authority and present your argument with enough 'jargon' and 'minutia' to illustrate you are 'one who knows', and simply say it isn't so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or citing sources.
9. Play Dumb. No matter what evidence or logical argument is offered, avoid discussing issues except with denials they have any credibility, make any sense, provide any proof, contain or make a point, have logic, or support a conclusion. Mix well for maximum effect.
10. Associate opponent charges with old news. A derivative of the straw man -- usually, in any large-scale matter of high visibility, someone will make charges early on which can be or were already easily dealt with - a kind of investment for the future should the matter not be so easily contained.) Where it can be foreseen, have your own side raise a straw man issue and have it dealt with early on as part of the initial contingency plans. Subsequent charges, regardless of validity or new ground uncovered, can usually then be associated with the original charge and dismissed as simply being a rehash without need to address current issues -- so much the better where the opponent is or was involved with the original source.
11. Establish and rely upon fall-back positions. Using a minor matter or element of the facts, take the 'high road' and 'confess' with candor that some innocent mistake, in hindsight, was made -- but that opponents have seized on the opportunity to blow it all out of proportion and imply greater criminalities which, 'just isn't so.' Others can reinforce this on your behalf, later, and even publicly 'call for an end to the nonsense' because you have already 'done the right thing.' Done properly, this can garner sympathy and respect for 'coming clean' and 'owning up' to your mistakes without addressing more serious issues.
12. Enigmas have no solution. Drawing upon the overall umbrella of events surrounding the crime and the multitude of players and events, paint the entire affair as too complex to solve. This causes those otherwise following the matter to begin to lose interest more quickly without having to address the actual issues.
13. Alice in Wonderland Logic. Avoid discussion of the issues by reasoning backwards or with an apparent deductive logic which forbears any actual material fact.
14. Demand complete solutions. Avoid the issues by requiring opponents to solve the crime at hand completely, a ploy which works best with issues qualifying for rule 10.
15. Fit the facts to alternate conclusions. This requires creative thinking unless the crime was planned with contingency conclusions in place.
16. Vanish evidence and witnesses. If it does not exist, it is not fact, and you won't have to address the issue.
17. Change the subject. Usually in connection with one of the other ploys listed here, find a way to side-track the discussion with abrasive or controversial comments in hopes of turning attention to a new, more manageable topic. This works especially well with companions who can 'argue' with you over the new topic and polarize the discussion arena in order to avoid discussing more key issues.
18. Emotionalize, Antagonize, and Goad Opponents. If you can't do anything else, chide and taunt your opponents and draw them into emotional responses which will tend to make them look foolish and overly motivated, and generally render their material somewhat less coherent. Not only will you avoid discussing the issues in the first instance, but even if their emotional response addresses the issue, you can further avoid the issues by then focusing on how 'sensitive they are to criticism.'
19. Ignore proof presented, demand impossible proofs. This is perhaps a variant of the 'play dumb' rule. Regardless of what material may be presented by an opponent in public forums, claim the material irrelevant and demand proof that is impossible for the opponent to come by (it may exist, but not be at his disposal, or it may be something which is known to be safely destroyed or withheld, such as a murder weapon.) In order to completely avoid discussing issues, it may be required that you to categorically deny and be critical of media or books as valid sources, deny that witnesses are acceptable, or even deny that statements made by government or other authorities have any meaning or relevance.
20. False evidence. Whenever possible, introduce new facts or clues designed and manufactured to conflict with opponent presentations -- as useful tools to neutralize sensitive issues or impede resolution. This works best when the crime was designed with contingencies for the purpose, and the facts cannot be easily separated from the fabrications.
21. Call a Grand Jury, Special Prosecutor, or other empowered investigative body. Subvert the (process) to your benefit and effectively neutralize all sensitive issues without open discussion. Once convened, the evidence and testimony are required to be secret when properly handled. For instance, if you own the prosecuting attorney, it can insure a Grand Jury hears no useful evidence and that the evidence is sealed and unavailable to subsequent investigators. Once a favorable verdict is achieved, the matter can be considered officially closed. Usually, this technique is applied to find the guilty innocent, but it can also be used to obtain charges when seeking to frame a victim.
22. Manufacture a new truth. Create your own expert(s), group(s), author(s), leader(s) or influence existing ones willing to forge new ground via scientific, investigative, or social research or testimony which concludes favorably. In this way, if you must actually address issues, you can do so authoritatively.
23. Create bigger distractions. If the above does not seem to be working to distract from sensitive issues, or to prevent unwanted media coverage of unstoppable events such as trials, create bigger news stories (or treat them as such) to distract the multitudes.
24. Silence critics. If the above methods do not prevail, consider removing opponents from circulation by some definitive solution so that the need to address issues is removed entirely. This can be by their death, arrest and detention, blackmail or destruction of their character by release of blackmail information, or merely by destroying them financially, emotionally, or severely damaging their health.
25. Vanish. If you are a key holder of secrets or otherwise overly illuminated and you think the heat is getting too hot, to avoid the issues, vacate the kitchen.
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Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
1) Avoidance. They never actually discuss issues head-on or provide constructive input, generally avoiding citation of references or credentials. Rather, they merely imply this, that, and the other. Virtually everything about their presentation implies their authority and expert knowledge in the matter without any further justification for credibility.
2) Selectivity. They tend to pick and choose opponents carefully, either applying the hit-and-run approach against mere commentators supportive of opponents, or focusing heavier attacks on key opponents who are known to directly address issues. Should a commentator become argumentative with any success, the focus will shift to include the commentator as well.
3) Coincidental. They tend to surface suddenly and somewhat coincidentally with a new controversial topic with no clear prior record of participation in general discussions in the particular public arena involved. They likewise tend to vanish once the topic is no longer of general concern. They were likely directed or elected to be there for a reason, and vanish with the reason.
4) Teamwork. They tend to operate in self-congratulatory and complementary packs or teams. Of course, this can happen naturally in any public forum, but there will likely be an ongoing pattern of frequent exchanges of this sort where professionals are involved. Sometimes one of the players will infiltrate the opponent camp to become a source for straw man or other tactics designed to dilute opponent presentation strength.
5) Anti-conspiratorial. They almost always have disdain for 'conspiracy theorists' and, usually, for those who in any way believe JFK was not killed by LHO. Ask yourself why, if they hold such disdain for conspiracy theorists, do they focus on defending a single topic discussed in a NG focusing on conspiracies? One might think they would either be trying to make fools of everyone on every topic, or simply ignore the group they hold in such disdain.Or, one might more rightly conclude they have an ulterior motive for their actions in going out of their way to focus as they do.
6) Artificial Emotions. An odd kind of 'artificial' emotionalism and an unusually thick skin -- an ability to persevere and persist even in the face of overwhelming criticism and unacceptance. This likely stems from intelligence community training that, no matter how condemning the evidence, deny everything, and never become emotionally involved or reactive. The net result for a disinfo artist is that emotions can seem artificial.
Most people, if responding in anger, for instance, will express their animosity throughout their rebuttal. But disinfo types usually have trouble maintaining the 'image' and are hot and cold with respect to pretended emotions and their usually more calm or unemotional communications style. It's just a job, and they often seem unable to 'act their role in character' as well in a communications medium as they might be able in a real face-to-face conversation/confrontation. You might have outright rage and indignation one moment, ho-hum the next, and more anger later -- an emotional yo-yo.
With respect to being thick-skinned, no amount of criticism will deter them from doing their job, and they will generally continue their old disinfo patterns without any adjustments to criticisms of how obvious it is that they play that game -- where a more rational individual who truly cares what others think might seek to improve their communications style, substance, and so forth, or simply give up.
7) Inconsistent. There is also a tendency to make mistakes which betray their true self/motives. This may stem from not really knowing their topic, or it may be somewhat 'freudian', so to speak, in that perhaps they really root for the side of truth deep within.
I have noted that often, they will simply cite contradictory information which neutralizes itself and the author. For instance, one such player claimed to be a Navy pilot, but blamed his poor communicating skills (spelling, grammar, incoherent style) on having only a grade-school education. I'm not aware of too many Navy pilots who don't have a college degree. Another claimed no knowledge of a particular topic/situation but later claimed first-hand knowledge of it.
8) Time Constant. Recently discovered, with respect to News Groups, is the response time factor. There are three ways this can be seen to work, especially when the government or other empowered player is involved in a cover up operation:
a) ANY NG posting by a targeted proponent for truth can result in an IMMEDIATE response. The government and other empowered players can afford to pay people to sit there and watch for an opportunity to do some damage. SINCE DISINFO IN A NG ONLY WORKS IF THE READER SEES IT - FAST RESPONSE IS CALLED FOR, or the visitor may be swayed towards truth.
b) When dealing in more direct ways with a disinformationalist, such as email, DELAY IS CALLED FOR - there will usually be a minimum of a 48-72 hour delay. This allows a sit-down team discussion on response strategy for best effect, and even enough time to 'get permission' or instruction from a formal chain of command.
c) In the NG example 1) above, it will often ALSO be seen that bigger guns are drawn and fired after the same 48-72 hours delay - the team approach in play. This is especially true when the targeted truth seeker or their comments are considered more important with respect to potential to reveal truth. Thus, a serious truth sayer will be attacked twice for the same sin.
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How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
One way to neutralize a potential activist is to get them to be in a group that does all the wrong things. Why?
1) The message doesn't get out.
2) A lot of time is wasted
3) The activist is frustrated and discouraged
4) Nothing good is accomplished.
FBI and Police Informers and Infiltrators will infest any group and they have phoney activist organizations established.
Their purpose is to prevent any real movement for justice or eco-peace from developing in this country.
Agents come in small, medium or large. They can be of any ethnic background. They can be male or female.
The actual size of the group or movement being infiltrated is irrelevant. It is the potential the movement has for becoming large which brings on the spies and saboteurs.
This booklet lists tactics agents use to slow things down, foul things up, destroy the movement and keep tabs on activists.
It is the agent's job to keep the activist from quitting such a group, thus keeping him/her under control.
In some situations, to get control, the agent will tell the activist:

• "You're dividing the movement."

[Here, I have added the psychological reasons as to WHY this maneuver works to control people]
This invites guilty feelings. Many people can be controlled by guilt. The agents begin relationships with activists behind a well-developed mask of "dedication to the cause." Because of their often declared dedication, (and actions designed to prove this), when they criticize the activist, he or she - being truly dedicated to the movement - becomes convinced that somehow, any issues are THEIR fault. This is because a truly dedicated person tends to believe that everyone has a conscience and that nobody would dissimulate and lie like that "on purpose." It's amazing how far agents can go in manipulating an activist because the activist will constantly make excuses for the agent who regularly declares their dedication to the cause. Even if they do, occasionally, suspect the agent, they will pull the wool over their own eyes by rationalizing: "they did that unconsciously... they didn't really mean it... I can help them by being forgiving and accepting " and so on and so forth.
The agent will tell the activist:

• "You're a leader!"

This is designed to enhance the activist's self-esteem. His or her narcissistic admiration of his/her own activist/altruistic intentions increase as he or she identifies with and consciously admires the altruistic declarations of the agent which are deliberately set up to mirror those of the activist.
This is "malignant pseudoidentification." It is the process by which the agent consciously imitates or simulates a certain behavior to foster the activist's identification with him/her, thus increasing the activist's vulnerability to exploitation. The agent will simulate the more subtle self-concepts of the activist.
Activists and those who have altruistic self-concepts are most vulnerable to malignant pseudoidentification especially during work with the agent when the interaction includes matter relating to their competency, autonomy, or knowledge.
The goal of the agent is to increase the activist's general empathy for the agent through pseudo-identification with the activist's self-concepts.
The most common example of this is the agent who will compliment the activist for his competency or knowledge or value to the movement. On a more subtle level, the agent will simulate affects and mannerisms of the activist which promotes identification via mirroring and feelings of "twinship". It is not unheard of for activists, enamored by the perceived helpfulness and competence of a good agent, to find themselves considering ethical violations and perhaps, even illegal behavior, in the service of their agent/handler.
The activist's "felt quality of perfection" [self-concept] is enhanced, and a strong empathic bond is developed with the agent through his/her imitation and simulation of the victim's own narcissistic investments. [self-concepts] That is, if the activist knows, deep inside, their own dedication to the cause, they will project that onto the agent who is "mirroring" them.
The activist will be deluded into thinking that the agent shares this feeling of identification and bonding. In an activist/social movement setting, the adversarial roles that activists naturally play vis a vis the establishment/government, fosters ongoing processes of intrapsychic splitting so that "twinship alliances" between activist and agent may render whole sectors or reality testing unavailable to the activist. They literally "lose touch with reality."
Activists who deny their own narcissistic investments [do not have a good idea of their own self-concepts and that they ARE concepts] and consciously perceive themselves (accurately, as it were) to be "helpers" endowed with a special amount of altruism are exceedingly vulnerable to the affective (emotional) simulation of the accomplished agent.
Empathy is fostered in the activist through the expression of quite visible affects. The presentation of tearfulness, sadness, longing, fear, remorse, and guilt, may induce in the helper-oriented activist a strong sense of compassion, while unconsciously enhancing the activist's narcissistic investment in self as the embodiment of goodness.
The agent's expresssion of such simulated affects may be quite compelling to the observer and difficult to distinguish from deep emotion.
It can usually be identified by two events, however:
First, the activist who has analyzed his/her own narcissistic roots and is aware of his/her own potential for being "emotionally hooked," will be able to remain cool and unaffected by such emotional outpourings by the agent.
As a result of this unaffected, cool, attitude, the Second event will occur: The agent will recompensate much too quickly following such an affective expression leaving the activist with the impression that "the play has ended, the curtain has fallen," and the imposture, for the moment, has finished. The agent will then move quickly to another activist/victim.
The fact is, the movement doesn't need leaders, it needs MOVERS. "Follow the leader" is a waste of time.
A good agent will want to meet as often as possible. He or she will talk a lot and say little. One can expect an onslaught of long, unresolved discussions.
Some agents take on a pushy, arrogant, or defensive manner:
1) To disrupt the agenda
2) To side-track the discussion
3) To interrupt repeatedly
4) To feign ignorance
5) To make an unfounded accusation against a person.
Calling someone a racist, for example. This tactic is used to discredit a person in the eyes of all other group members.
Saboteurs
Some saboteurs pretend to be activists. She or he will ....
1) Write encyclopedic flyers (in the present day, websites)
2) Print flyers in English only.
3) Have demonstrations in places where no one cares.
4) Solicit funding from rich people instead of grass roots support
5) Display banners with too many words that are confusing.
6) Confuse issues.
7) Make the wrong demands.
8) Compromise the goal.
9) Have endless discussions that waste everyone's time. The agent may accompany the endless discussions with drinking, pot smoking or other amusement to slow down the activist's work.
Provocateurs
1) Want to establish "leaders" to set them up for a fall in order to stop the movement.
2) Suggest doing foolish, illegal things to get the activists in trouble.
3) Encourage militancy.
4) Want to taunt the authorities.
5) Attempt to make the activist compromise their values.
6) Attempt to instigate violence. Activisim ought to always be non-violent.
7) Attempt to provoke revolt among people who are ill-prepared to deal with the reaction of the authorities to such violence.
Informants
1) Want everyone to sign up and sing in and sign everything.
2) Ask a lot of questions (gathering data).
3) Want to know what events the activist is planning to attend.
4) Attempt to make the activist defend him or herself to identify his or her beliefs, goals, and level of committment.
Recruiting
Legitimate activists do not subject people to hours of persuasive dialog. Their actions, beliefs, and goals speak for themselves.
Groups that DO recruit are missionaries, military, and fake political parties or movements set up by agents.
Surveillance
ALWAYS assume that you are under surveillance.
At this point, if you are NOT under surveillance, you are not a very good activist!
Scare Tactics
They use them.
Such tactics include slander, defamation, threats, getting close to disaffected or minimally committed fellow activists to persuade them (via psychological tactics described above) to turn against the movement and give false testimony against their former compatriots. They will plant illegal substances on the activist and set up an arrest; they will plant false information and set up "exposure," they will send incriminating letters [emails] in the name of the activist; and more; they will do whatever society will allow.
This booklet in no way covers all the ways agents use to sabotage the lives of sincere an dedicated activists.
If an agent is "exposed," he or she will be transferred or replaced.
COINTELPRO is still in operation today under a different code name. It is no longer placed on paper where it can be discovered through the freedom of information act.
The FBI counterintelligence program's stated purpose: To expose, disrupt, misdirect, discredit, and otherwise neutralize individuals who the FBI categorize as opposed to the National Interests. "National Security" means the FBI's security from the people ever finding out the vicious things it does in violation of people's civil liberties.
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Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression
Strong, credible allegations of high-level criminal activity can bring down a government. When the government lacks an effective, fact-based defense, other techniques must be employed. The success of these techniques depends heavily upon a cooperative, compliant press and a mere token opposition party.
1. Dummy up. If it's not reported, if it's not news, it didn't happen.
2. Wax indignant. This is also known as the "How dare you?" gambit.
3. Characterize the charges as "rumors" or, better yet, "wild rumors." If, in spite of the news blackout, the public is still able to learn about the suspicious facts, it can only be through "rumors." (If they tend to believe the "rumors" it must be because they are simply "paranoid" or "hysterical.")
4. Knock down straw men. Deal only with the weakest aspects of the weakest charges. Even better, create your own straw men. Make up wild rumors (or plant false stories) and give them lead play when you appear to debunk all the charges, real and fanciful alike.
5. Call the skeptics names like "conspiracy theorist," "nutcase," "ranter," "kook," "crackpot," and, of course, "rumor monger." Be sure, too, to use heavily loaded verbs and adjectives when characterizing their charges and defending the "more reasonable" government and its defenders. You must then carefully avoid fair and open debate with any of the people you have thus maligned. For insurance, set up your own "skeptics" to shoot down.
6. Impugn motives. Attempt to marginalize the critics by suggesting strongly that they are not really interested in the truth but are simply pursuing a partisan political agenda or are out to make money (compared to over-compensated adherents to the government line who, presumably, are not).
7. Invoke authority. Here the controlled press and the sham opposition can be very useful.
8. Dismiss the charges as "old news."
9. Come half-clean. This is also known as "confession and avoidance" or "taking the limited hangout route." This way, you create the impression of candor and honesty while you admit only to relatively harmless, less-than-criminal "mistakes." This stratagem often requires the embrace of a fall-back position quite different from the one originally taken. With effective damage control, the fall-back position need only be peddled by stooge skeptics to carefully limited markets.
10. Characterize the crimes as impossibly complex and the truth as ultimately unknowable.
11. Reason backward, using the deductive method with a vengeance. With thoroughly rigorous deduction, troublesome evidence is irrelevant. E.g. We have a completely free press. If evidence exists that the Vince Foster "suicide" note was forged, they would have reported it. They haven't reported it so there is no such evidence. Another variation on this theme involves the likelihood of a conspiracy leaker and a press who would report the leak.
12. Require the skeptics to solve the crime completely. E.g. If Foster was murdered, who did it and why?
13. Change the subject. This technique includes creating and/or publicizing distractions.
14. Lightly report incriminating facts, and then make nothing of them. This is sometimes referred to as "bump and run" reporting.
15. Baldly and brazenly lie. A favorite way of doing this is to attribute the "facts" furnished the public to a plausible-sounding, but anonymous, source.
16. Expanding further on numbers 4 and 5, have your own stooges "expose" scandals and champion popular causes. Their job is to pre-empt real opponents and to play 99-yard football. A variation is to pay rich people for the job who will pretend to spend their own money.
17. Flood the Internet with agents. This is the answer to the question, "What could possibly motivate a person to spend hour upon hour on Internet news groups defending the government and/or the press and harassing genuine critics?" Don t the authorities have defenders enough in all the newspapers, magazines, radio, and television? One would think refusing to print critical letters and screening out serious callers or dumping them from radio talk shows would be control enough, but, obviously, it is not.

Warning spoilers and The Wall of text below, are you patient enough to read them, are you punk
Clocked in 113 hours, took my time with it, see what the hype is about and saw the credits. Completed at least 80% of its content, done most questlines, all areas cleared defeated Malenia and majority of the bosses and dungeons. The game slowly degrading of quality as I progress further into the game. Early game 1/3 is great, midgame 2/3 is decent to okay and the endgame 3/3 is awful. I'm poking at the hornet's nest, a fromsoftware one at that, it's gaming darling, I'll be stunk by a fuck ton of downvotes, disagreements and demeaning and of course I understand I'm in a minority, but please understand the concept of personal opinion and decency. Here's my opinion, critique and kinda rant of this whole rough shebang.
Combat is decent but got stale due to slog progression, and its systems, rules and mechanics are mediocrely compatible between the player and enemies. First the player mechanics are stuck on same foundation style since demon souls, kinda superior and inferior dark souls 3 combat system, I have reasons for it though. On the good side, they overhaul the improvement of weapon arts with the ashes of war, it's awesome and fun and can place a wide variety ash of wars onto any weapon, depending on the type outside unique weapons. A slight improvement on range magic system on allowing you cast spells while moving and improving the casting animation on using the same spell consecutively and continously without starting over again, feels better and more competent on using magic. On the bad side the input delay and buffering is worse than dark souls 3. I know that issue is in other fromsoft games but this game makes it worse by making it feeling more laggy and clunky and makes the combat kinda frustrating though I do get used to it at a point, some deaths are contributed by it constantly due to the input buffering. Build and weapon variety though impressive on paper, majority of them are useless, low damage thresholds and reskins that only a handful are actually useful.
Second is the enemies. The enemies are sekiro bloodborne-like, bottomless stamina, fast moving, having one shot/big damage attack in their moveset and multi hitting combos with delay attacks, laced with bullshit input reading. For context, my playstyle is the uchigatana and greatsword mainly quality bulid with a bit of magic converted to dex/bleed build for late game, majority of the game I avoid using summoning ashes; the times I ever used it was for the two cat statue boss(fucking assholes lol), Commander Niall(castle Sol), second phase of troll giant, and the final boss; radagon and elden beast(radagon would be decent if they were separated but together is just plain nonsense and tedious with each having their own bullshit to deal with especially majority of it from elden beast) For majority of the bosses either wait and dodgeroll till their ten hit combo is done to get a hit or two(especially for quick weapon like a katana) in safely(one of the many examples: Maliketh/Malenia) or spam reliable boring spells or L2-ing ash of War or summon spirit ash to take agro of you and stab at their backs (example: Troll giant/elden beast). Horse combat and mechanics half-assed, not much to say other than mostly there for moving and traversing abit faster on the world, though horse movement is clunky, height damage is inconstant and wonky and swallow depth in combat mechanics and it gets boring rather quickly, dexterity stat factor of not getting knocked off your horse does not work still to this day but overall gets its job done I guess.
Mediocre boss design, their like spectacles, looks awesome but bad interacting with them. Mid soundtrack imo, hate the open world ambient music, unmemorable boss music even the main bosses, only few that I can remember is godskin noble ost and radagon. Shit rewards system, most likely getting an item you'll not use, common ingredient disguised as rare loot, finding weapons sounds good till you know smiting stones are limited and rare until only late endgame you'll find enough bell bearings to buy smithing stones from them. Due to punishing leveling progression of stats and decentivising weapon variety only having enough two or maybe 3 normal weapons upgraded to 25+ if you're through and done certain quests committing to 2 skills or weapons far more practical.
Bloated open world, too big for it's own good, Wasting your time, copy pasted repetitive dungeons and caves and camps, end game is full of damage sponges and have high damage to even the pathetic small can kill you fast and takes awhile to kill. Shit quest design that only barely fits in their linear games not for open world and you'll miss majority of the content without using wiki due to most npcs being vague and cryptic for the sake of it, some leaving not giving clue to where they are, here's one of the many examples Millicent. Millicent’s quest is and the annoying need to “reload” areas sometimes to progress or get loot.
Here's a good example that I thought was just remarkably stupid, is having to kill the ulcerated tree spirit and for some reason that spawns a pair of summon signs for Millicent. First of all, I have no idea what a random ulcerated tree sprit has to do with her, and I just skipped past it since there is no value in killing this enemy for like the 12th time. Even after defeating it, it’s actually pretty easy to not notice the summon signs on the ground since they are off to the side in some flowers. In an area you really have zero reason to walk to. Then, if you assist Millicent she spawns nearby, and you cannot get the unalloyed gold needle from her unless you “reload the area", wtf? There are so many scenarios in this game where loot or quest progression requires you to literally reload the area by resting at a site of grace or closing and reopening the game… why? It’s insanely stupid. It’s archaic and extremely illogical. Millicent can just give you the needle or die on the spot and drop the needle. Just like Hyetta does after you get the frenzied flame and talk to her…. Quitting and reloading the game to reload an area is not a game mechanic, so certainly they expect you to leave and come back after resting at a site of grace…. Why? How does it make any sense? Honestly it just doesn’t. There’s no denying that the FromSoft quest system is super antiquated and frankly sucks.
Storytelling is bad, it's usually okay to even decent(especially for sekiro) from fromsoftware and thought the inclusion of George R. R. Martin and new ip would explore the more direct cohesive story (in the way of sekiro) but it's worse on this one.
At least in previous games it's less prominent and you can ignore it and continue till the end of the game and understood what you need to do and the game doesn't push story in your face and kept it simple, for instance Dark Souls 1, you are chosen undead, defeat the lords and gwyn to Kindle the first flame in order to keep it from dying. For Elden Ring you are tarnished from wherever, came here for some reason to get pieces of elden ring and claim the tltle of Elden Lord for... some reason. They don't motivate you the reason why you need to do it, why should you care about a world that's trying to kill you for some reason? Oh it's orders from godrick to kill tarnished but you see no one is chasing the elden ring except you and ofir but he's just mostly there at the roundtable not doing anything till the end and majority of npcs are just doing their own thing except looking for the elden ring and putting exposition in long boss cutscenes and the game is assuming you know the context but you most likely don't. Lore and storytelling are two different things, don't assume it's good lore just because you're watching vaati or whoever telling his interpretation of what's happening (not definite canon) of lore from reading the descriptions on items to tell the story and a crucial part information is randomly on a rock just to understand what the fuck is about, means it's a good story, don't kid yourself, it's not.
Elden ring is like a worse ubisoft open world game with little quality of life features and external quest log and instruction manual via wiki, reddit and youtube; off brand game of thrones/lord of the rings-like with dark souls skin on. It's a decent game, I kinda like it but it's way overrated and definitely not revolutionary in the slightest, telling people it's organic life changing and not generic, thinking elden ring is Fibonacci-like perfect game and formula in gaming and shitting on ubisoft and other Studios and their fans for making and enjoying the "same generic games" meanwhile pretenting they've not been suckered into playing the same game since demon souls for a decade is hilarious, literally for all modern fromsoftware games is very formulaic and with the same generic premise: you are x, in a dying world, your duty is x and defeat x to claim/reclaim x. It's hypocrital except to weebs, conformist gamers and the notorious zealous egotistical fromchud fanboys feeling superior and looking down to others, as long as the ubisoft brand is not there they'll defend the ubisoft-like aspects pretending it's "different".
But on a positive note I like majority of legacy dungeons except lake of rot Mohgwyn Palace and my favorites is leyndell and Raya lucaria, love the world visual design and kinda enjoyed the sense of exploring its vast tho bloated world and some bosses like Godfrey the aoe lord is one of my favorites and Elemer Of The Briar is interesting though a bit bullshit but is cool nevertheless and caves are cool as well.
In conclusion elden ring is not a bad game, 6/10 is actually decent, I'm not American, I actually use the entire 1-10 score system properly where 5 is just bang average not 7 or 8 in fact I rarely rate an 8 and above and have yet to find 9 let alone a 10 maybe one day, hopefully soon. One my favorite games on my list is a 6.5/10 is fallout 4 and watch dogs 1; and monster hunter freedom unite, farcry 4, Dark Souls 3, assassin's creed odyssey, Sekiro, the nioh and surge games and watch dogs 2 which is a 7/10. Just because I love them and my favorite doesn't mean they need to be 10/10 and masterpieces. The games are flawed, far from perfect but I enjoy and love them despite of it. It's a shame that I think gamers forgot that.

For context, I am a junior in high school taking dual enrollment classes at my local community college. Currently, I am taking Calculus II and my final is coming up. I need a high 80 to maintain my A, but I'm not sure if I can achieve that. My dilemma is that if I do get a B in the class, should I request it to be reflected as a pass, rather than take the B?
Dual classes are included on my high school transcript, so I don't want a B to negatively affect my GPA. Technically it would be my only B on my transcript, but I have taken unweighted classes that are already bringing my GPA down and it's quite an important course, so any insight would be appreciated!