My bf has been way too busy since he started his job. We had only been dating when he started working there and now we’re nearly 2 months into our relationship. Last night because of smth he did I finally burst open and told him about how I felt . It weren’t well organized thoughts nor did I have solutions. Just 4 days before that I texted him how I felt and back and forth we texted paragraphs and fixed it. This time I had to say it on call. I told him I felt I’m on a pedestal, he’s been too busy, I’m settling for the bare minimum’s and everything. I told him what my friends thought too. He ofc got pissed that my friends who don’t have happy relationships themselves said stuff and that they didn’t know shit about him, they didn’t know shit about us and how could I listen to them. He was telling me I need to mature up and not be such a kid. He thought I’m finding excuses to slowly breakup and I thought he’s doing the same. He made me sound desperate for a moment saying should I call u instead of working x times a day etc; and I’m like I never told u to quit ur job or sports for me. Mans has to drive around a lot, Ik his job is exhausting and he claims that everytime he’s free after work or in the morning he calls me and on his day off he “tries to give me as much time” Tbh idk how to feel about things because we both don’t have solutions. I didn’t have anything because even Ik I was being absurd to some extent but on the other hand he wasn’t being too helpful either and I altho he was pissed I felt that he turned the things on me instead. We have a lack of communication, not sure how to fix it but we want to be together. He’s joining my uni in 3 months and that’s all that’s keeping me going at this point. I know I’m busy too but with my adhd I struggle with prioritizing and then I focus more on him than on myself. My anxiety kicks in and makes things worse. I told him this is happening because I fear losing him and I don’t wanna be hurt again given my past. And he said he loved me and he wanted to make it work and everything but I can’t seem to believe his words, I know it’s absurd to expect him to drive so much everyday at work, to his academy and everything and also want him to come see me but what else am I supposed to do when I don’t see him often? We ft in the night after 11 cause that’s when He comes home and I’m famished by then, he rarely wakes up before 10am while I’m up at 7 and I study or prep for school or work. If he’s ever up by chance he calls me for an Hr when he needs to get ready for work. The thing is since we see each other so less we never really have much convo or rather meaningful serious convos. I lowkey get hurt over how things are going and ik relationships take time and effort and we both want to be in a long term relationship so I’m not sure what to do.

Disclaimer ; I'm not English speaker so please expect a lot of grammatical errors 😅

TBH I know I'm not TA, but i don't know anymore. For some context my BIL Mark(35) got married with my late sister Zara(32) 3 years ago, early 2020. Zara sadly passed away 11 months ago( due to car accident). I have 3 bros,my sis and me. Zara was the epitome of successful, wealthy golden child, she has the most money(half of it came from inheritance), graduated from reputable university got well-paid job an so on, she just incredible. When my brothers got married, she gave each one of them a house. She said she will do the same for me. I don't really care bcs I'll just ask what i need, most of the time she bought them, yes I'm the spoiled youngest child. Before she got married, She bought a 2-storey bungalow, did some renovations to her liking bcs she said she wanna spend the rest of her life there bla.. bla...bla.... My sis and I had a special bond, we share almost everything to each other. One day after a year of her marriage, we met at my house and suddenly she said, "if anything happens to me, I want you to sell the house I'm living rn". At first I thought she was joking, I just brushed it off but she said that to me 3 times before she's gone. Whole families were upset, devastated including Mark. Mark to me just an okay guys, I don't really vibe with him but my sis loved him so... Month later the lawyer read the will to us and Mark didn't take it so well. To my suprise Zara left the house to me along with her other assets, more than half of her wealth. She gave Mark her two cars and loft apartment, my brothers also got their fair shares. Next day, Mark came banging on my door accusing me to Zara into giving most of her wealth to me. He pissed me off to the point I told him to challenge the will and I'm calling the police if he doesn't leave. Weeks later he came to me telling me to give the house to him since he have a lot memories of Zara at that house. I told him if he want that house, he have to buy it from me. I'm giving him 5 months to live somewhere else bcs I'm selling that house and I'm DEAD SERIOUS about it . Obviously he try to make me giving the house for free lol. When I said no, he started yelling and cursing telling me I'm mean, inhuman, cruel and much more u name it. I even told him that what she wants but he straight away said I'm a liar. Seriously though, I'm not gonna change my mind. My oldest brother told me I told him to early, he still grieving, we all are. But they are okay with my decision since I told them my sis is the one want me to sell it, I just fulfilling her wish and lawfully I'm the owner of that house, so I can do what ever I want. It's been three months now, I'm not seeing a single sign that Mark gonna leave the house 😮‍💨😮‍💨 

Hello y’all, first time posting so I have no idea if I’m doing it right. I might be accepting a job for AT&T in Bratislava (call centre) and I heard there is a medical check up but I cannot find the exact information on what would be tested. Can I ask them openly? I don’t know how strict Slovakian laws are on this. I am an occasional cannabis user, and now I’m wondering if that might be a problem. Thank you

Accused of using her for sex
I've been with my partner for 2 years (26m, 25f)
I've given her everything I have to offer, anytime we go on a date, I'm planning everything, driving and paying etc. We like to play computer games, and I upgrade my monitor, so I gave her my old monitor as it was better than hers, for free (and plenty of other little gifts here and there for no other reason than because I want to)
Helped her financially, for rent, for when we moved towns, playing for her insurances, plenty of gas money giving her good advise.
Any time there's a problem with her car I'm under there fixing it Or a problem with her pc, I'm the one to fix it
She tells me she needs more affection from me, calling her nice pet names, and constantly reminding her she's loved, cuddles etc I willingly ablidge to make sure feels loved
I do these things because I want to do them, not for any reward
I have a higher libido than her. We used to have sex often... At the start, and then we tapered off, which is to be expected. However, more recently, it's gone from multiple times a week, to none... for more than a month!!! I cannot handle this, this is a deal breaker She's never in the mood anymore, I have to beg for her to give me a hand job at the very least And when she's not up for that at all, I watch porn so I'm not begging her like a dog. But if she sees that I'm masturbating she gets emotional because 'it's not her...'
Recently, on one of our dates, she says to me "are you just using me for sex" I was fucking blown away by this comment
Anyone experienced this before? I'm looking for the exit if this is what it's going to be like from now...
Let me know your thoughts

This seems clear cut to me (and a very privileged problem), but here we are:
I (46M) just got a promotion at work, and my partner, "Michelle" (45F), suggested I could use a little bit of my raise to get a cleaning person every two weeks for my apartment (we split time between my place and hers). She has someone clean her place and loves the “just cleaned” feeling that comes with having someone clean her place, and this way we’d always be in a place that was just cleaned. I admit I liked the idea, so I agreed.
I asked a friend who lives in the close-by neighborhood (we’re in Chicago) for the name of his and his wife’s cleaning lady (“Katy”). Note: I had talked to Michelle’s person, but I live on the North Side, and she lives on the South Side and her person didn’t want to travel all the way up to the neighborhood I’m in, otherwise I would have used her person.
Katy and I texted, and she asked my address to figure out travel time, how many rooms (2br, 1br, kitchen, living room, and dining room), square feet (850), and how many people live there (me full time, Michelle is there 50% of the nights, and I have my 13yo daughter 50% of the time as well). She tells me she has her own supplies (I need to provide a vacuum), and the first cleaning will be $140, and then every other week will be $100. This seemed reasonable, so I scheduled a time with her. She came yesterday morning and was there for just under four hours. I gave her $160 in cash (my friend advised me to tip $20 for each cleaning). She told me that wasn’t enough, that she needed $180 for the first cleaning (not including the tip).
I was confused and asked her did it take longer than she expected (no), was it dirtier and she had to work harder (no), did she use more supplies than estimated (no), rather after doing the cleaning, she felt that $180 for the first cleaning, and $140 for each subsequent cleaning was the new price she felt was fair.
I told her that had she told me this BEFORE she started to work (she had done a walkthrough prior to start working so I could show her the apartment) I probably would have agreed to the new pricing (or asked to meet in the middle), but to spring this on me AFTER the work was done, with no real reason for it other than “this is what I think it’s now worth” isn’t fair, and that she can take the $160, but that’s all she’s getting from me and I won’t be using her services in the future.
She took the money, gathered her stuff, and stormed out. She called my friend’s wife, and I’m getting a lot of texts about them about how I’m being cheap and made them look bad (how?). But to me there’s the principle. She quoted a job, worked the job, and then tried to increase the price after the work was done even though she admits she didn’t do more work than what she quoted for or needed more supplies than what she estimated. My friend says I should have just paid because I could afford it. He and I are both big fans of this sub, and we agreed to let you decide, so AITA?
ETA: fixed unfortunate typo

I’ve been fixing up an old house for what feels the last 100 years of my life (since 2018) and I’m at the point where I am desperate for help! I have a bunch of old cypress trim inside of my house (window/door casings) that need to be stripped/sanded down. It’s a small house, less than 800 square feet, so not a huge job but definitely time consuming. Does anyone recommend any painting or other companies I could call to help with this process?

Changed job due to mental and physical stress/pain. Figured I could hold out on my savings for a little bit while I waited for the VA to process my last claim, which would put me at 100. It’s sleep apnea secondary to anxiety/depression. Filed March of 2022. Denied September of 22. No biggie, Iv been denied before, mistakes happen I’ll just do a HLR. Duty to assist found Oct 2022. Zero movement since, nobody can tell me what’s going on, nobody cares to even look deep into it even though I beg them. When they asked for a document, that wasn’t even needed for the claim, I had it sent to them the next day. Iv called VA hotline, VERA(about once a month) Whitehouse hotline, my lawyer(he’s good and says he’s put in multiple requests for an update), Iv asked my senator to get involved. Nothing, nothing is working. My savings are gone, my credit cards are rising. I’m so sad and depressed and just don’t know what to do anymore. Do I have to be completely homeless and lose everything for them to find out what’s going on with my claim? What the hell can I do? Someone please help me….. I understand PACT Act made things difficult, but why have some of us been put on the back burner…..

Yeah I might be a little bit late to it but nevermind.
First of all: This game is so huge and beautiful, R* did a good job with it, especially on the last gen. Imagine what would have been possible in a Next Gen upgrade... But they only focus on GTA Online (and GTA 6) as it seems...
"Bad" stuff first: I didn't like the pacing. The first ¾ of the game feel sooo slow and in the last ¼ everything happened so fast. And I had big problems with the controls at the beginning.
But thats the only thing is can complain about. The Story and the characters are awesome, as are the graphics and gameplay.
I still don't know how Dutch good do this all to Hosea and Arthur... He literally raised Arthur (more or less) and dropped him for Micah (who told the Pinkertons everything) ?! Was Dutch always like that or did he became what he is now ?
You can devide the Gang in like 3/3. The (sadly) dead ones (Lenny, Hosea, Shawn), The "Dutch Side/Bad Ones" (Dutch, Micah, Bill, Javier) and the "Good" ones (Arthur, John, Abigail, Jack, Sadie, Lenny, Charles, Miss Grimshaw).
It is a GREAT game and story, but still not in my Top 5. I definitly don't want to call it overrated, but it's just not my favourite.
Anyway I'm excited to play RDR1 now. I wish RDO would be better but I might give it another try.

Jackie Jensen, "The Golden Boy", was a superstar athlete in the 1940s who seemed destined for greatness as the heir to Joe DiMaggio... only to be supplanted by a different golden boy, the great Mickey Mantle.
Jensen would eventually live up to the hype, but with the Red Sox -- but his career prematurely because, as baseball expanded to the west coast, his fear of flying made road games unbearable!
The Yankees between 1947 and 1964 were utterly dominant, winning 15 pennants and 10 World Series. And it wasn't just the major league team that was successful. The Yankees of this era were loaded up and down the system, from Rookie ball to their two Triple-A teams!
With such a loaded major league roster, the Yankees had many talented players stuck either on the end of the bench or in the minors who would eventually find an opportunity with other teams, including Bob Cerv, Vic Power, Gus Triandos, Lew Burdette, Jerry Lumpe, Bob Porterfield, and Bob Keegan, who would all be All-Stars with other teams. Clint Courtney would be the 1952 A.L. Rookie of the Year runner-up after the Yankees traded him to the Browns, and Bill Virdon was the 1955 N.L. Rookie of the Year with the Cardinals (and then Yankee manager from 1974 to 1975!).
But the most talented player who just couldn't find the playing time in New York was Jack Eugene Jensen, born March 9, 1927, in San Francisco. His parents divorced when he was 5, and he grew up poor, his mother working six days a week, 12 hours a day. Jensen said the family moved 16 times between kindergarten and eighth grade -- "every time the rent came due."
After serving in the U.S. Navy during World War II, Jensen went to the University of California in 1946 on the G.I. Bill. There he became one of the most famous college players in the country, leading Cal to the Rose Bowl. In 1947, he was the starting fullback as well as the team's top defensive back, and in 1948, he rushed for 1,000 yards and was an All-American.
He also was a tremendous two-way baseball player, pitching and hitting for the Golden Bears in 1947 as the won the very first College World Series, beating a Yale team that had George H.W. Bush playing first base. In 1949, he was an All-American in baseball, too.
His blond hair, good looks, and athletic accomplishments earned him the nickname "The Golden Boy."
Halfway through his junior year, Jensen left Berkeley to turn pro. Jensen would later say he couldn't risk playing a career-ending injury playing for free while teams -- baseball and football -- were trying to sign him to big-money contracts.

"There was a money tree growing in my backyard. Why shouldn't I pluck off the dollars when I wanted to?"

Jensen considered a number of offers, including from the Yankees, before signing a three-year, $75,000 contract with the Oakland Oaks of the Pacific Coast League. Jensen said he thought he'd face better competition in the Pacific Coast League, the top minor league of the era, than he would at the bottom of the Yankee farm system. He was right about it being more of a challenge -- he hit an unimpressive .261/.317/.394 in 510 plate appearances with the Oaks.
At the end of the year, the Oaks sold his contract (and that of Billy Martin, another Northern California kid) to the Yankees.
That same year, Jensen married his high school sweetheart, Zoe Ann Olsen, an Olympic diver. (By age 18, she had won 14 national diving championships and a silver medal in the 1948 Olympics.) "Together they looked like a Nordic god and goddess," Sports Illustrated reported. Nicknamed "the sweethearts of sports," they were the Dansby Swanson and Mallory Pugh of their era. More than 1,000 people attended their wedding.
Jensen would start the 1950 season not in the minors but in the Bronx. He joined the Yankees in a time of flux. They though they'd won the 1949 World Series, the Yankees knew they had to make some changes, with 35-year-old Joe DiMaggio nearing the end of his career. And their heir apparent was not Mickey Mantle -- at the time an 18-year-old shortstop playing in the Class C league, the equivalent of A-ball today -- but the 23-year-old Jensen.
But Jensen disappointed, hitting just .171/.247/.300 in 70 at-bats, and only starting in 13 games. Watching from the bench most of the season, Jensen would later lament the lost year of development, saying he'd have been better off playing every day in the Pacific Coast League.
The Yankees won the pennant for a second straight year, and in the World Series he once again was left on the bench. His only action was as a pinch runner in Game 3 as the Yankees swept the Phillies. That "Moonlight Graham" appearance would be his only taste of the post-season in an 11-year career.
The following year would be DiMaggio's last, and Mantle's first. Jensen began the year as the Yankees' starting left fielder and proved he belonged, hitting .296/.371/.509 through the end of July... and then, shockingly, was demoted to Triple-A and replaced with previously forgotten Yankee Bob Cerv.
I can see why they called up Cerv -- the University of Nebraska stand-out was tearing up Triple-A, leading the American Association in batting average (.349), home runs (26), triples (21), RBIs (101), and total bases (261) -- but why demote Jensen, who had a 140 OPS+ in the majors? Maybe the Yankees felt the brash 23-year-old needed to be taken down a peg. In any event, Cerv hit just .214/.333/.250 in August and was sent back to Triple-A, but Jensen also was left down there. He hit .263/.344/.469 and was recalled after the Triple-A season ended, only getting into three games (he went 3-for-9).
Mantle, too, had started the season with the Yankees, and after hitting .260/.341/.423 through the middle of July, was sent down to Triple-A. But he hit .361/.445/.651 in 166 at-bats, and unlike Jensen was back in the bigs by August 24. He would play pretty much every game the rest of the season, hitting .284/.370/.495 in 95 at-bats.
The torch had clearly been passed -- Jensen was no longer the heir apparent to DiMaggio. In the World Series that year, Mantle was the starting right fielder, and Jensen wasn't even on the post-season roster.
Jensen was so disappointed with how the Yankees had treated him in 1951 that he talked to the San Francisco 49ers about switching to pro football, but ultimately decided to stick with baseball.
Never shy about what he said to reporters, Jensen told The Sporting News on October 24, 1951:

"I felt so badly about the treatment that I received from the Yankees that, although I was in New York at the end of the season, I didn't feel like sticking around to even watch the club play in any of the World's Series games."
"I do not feel the Yankees were justified in sending me to the minor leagues. When I was shipped to Kansas City, I was doing as good a job as any Yankee outfielder and better than some of them. I was hitting .296, which was ten points better than Hank Bauer and 30 points better than Joe DiMaggio, Gene Woodling and Mickey Mantle. Yet Casey Stengel didn't give me the chance I felt I deserved."

Despite blasting his manager in the press, Jensen was still the property of the Yankees. That off-season, teams were circling, hoping to pry away the talented but disgruntled outfielder. There were newspaper reports of offers from the St. Louis Browns, the Detroit Tigers, the Philadelphia Athletics, the Washington Senators, the Cleveland Indians, and the Boston Red Sox -- with one rumor being Ted Williams to the Bronx in exchange for Jensen and several other players. (A Red Sox scout called the rumored deal "a lot of hogwash.")
Sportswriters spent the off-season speculating whether DiMaggio would retire, and if he did, whether Jensen or Mantle would take over as the center fielder, as there were still concerns that Mantle, who had hurt his knee in the 1951 World Series, wouldn't be fully recovered by the start of the season.
On Opening Day, April 16, 1952, it was Jackie Jensen in center and Mickey Mantle in right. Jensen went 0-for-5 with a GIDP; Mantle, 3-for-4 with a double, a walk, and a stolen base! Seven games into the season, Jensen was 2-for-17 (.118) and found himself on the bench. He'd never play for the Yankees again. On May 3, the Golden Boy was traded to the Washington Senators along with Spec Shea, Jerry Snyder, and Archie Wilson in exchange for Irv Noren and Tom Upton.
In two years with the Senators, Jensen hit an impressive .276/.359/.407 (112 OPS+), but the team was terrible, and Jensen wasn't happy. Still just 26 years old, he later said he had almost quit after the 1953 season... particularly after a harrowing flight to Japan for a series of exhibition games with a squad of All-Stars that included Yankees Yogi Berra, Eddie Lopat, and Billy Martin. That experience gave Jensen a lifelong fear of flying, a phobia that became so intense eventually he could only fly with the help of sleeping pills... and a hypnotist!
He might have quit if not for the trade on December 9, 1953, that sent him to the Boston Red Sox for pitcher Mickey McDermott and outfielder Tom Umphlett. He was homesick, he hated flying, and he now had two little kids at home. Red Sox general manager Joe Cronin convinced Jensen to come to the Red Sox, telling him that Fenway Park was tailor made for his swing. Cronin was right: Jensen was a career .279/.369/.460 hitter, but .298/.400/.514 at Fenway.
It was in Boston that Jensen finally lived up to the hype, becoming a two-time All-Star and winning the A.L. MVP Award in 1958 and a Gold Glove in 1959. During his seven seasons in Boston, he hit .282/.374/.478 in 4,519 plate appearances. In his MVP season, Jensen hit .286/.396/.535 (148 OPS+) with 31 doubles, 35 home runs, and a league-leading 122 RBIs. During his peak with the Red Sox, 1954 to 1959, Jensen's average season was .285/.378/.490 (127 OPS+) with 28 doubles, 26 home runs, 111 RBIs, 14 stolen bases, and 3.6 bWAR. During those six seasons, no one in the American League -- not Mickey Mantle, not Ted Williams, not Al Kaline -- had more runs batted in than Jackie Jensen.
Of course, Mantle was the far better player -- even in Jensen's MVP season, Mantle had more runs, hits, home runs, walks, and a 188 OPS+ -- but Jensen's 127 OPS+ between 1954 and 1959 would have been an upgrade over the aging Hank Bauer's 110 OPS+ in right or the left field merry-go-round of Norm Siebern (113 OPS+), Irv Noren (107 OPS+), Enos Slaughter (103 OPS+), and previously forgotten Yankee Hector Lopez (101 OPS+). Casey Stengel would later say the Jensen trade was the worst one the Yankees had made while he was manager.
Despite his success, Jensen was sometimes booed by the Boston fans, just as they sometimes booed Ted Williams. There even was an article in Sport magazine, "What Do They Want From Jackie Jensen?", taking Red Sox fans to task for their unreasonably high demands from the Golden Boy. In 1956, in a game at Fenway Park against the Yankees, the hometown fans were razzing Jensen so much that teammates had to restrain him from going into the stands after a fan. Later that same game, Williams misplayed a wind-blown fly ball from Mantle, and the fans booed lustily. The very next play, Williams made a leaping catch at the scoreboard to rob Yogi Berra of a double. But Williams, still furious, spit into the crowd. He was later fined $5,000.
And Jackie was unhappy to be away from home. He and Zoe Ann had bought a house near Lake Tahoe, where they could both ski and golf year-round, as well as hit the casinos. They also had a home in Oakland, and a restaurant there, and each year Jensen hosted a pro-am golf tournament. But the marriage was struggling. Zoe Ann, once nationally known for her Olympic exploits, was frustrated to be a stay-at-home mom in the shadow of her famous husband, and Jackie became angry if she engaged in her favorite outdoor hobbies, suspecting there were men around.
Jensen's fear of flying also had become even more intense. Sometimes he was so drugged up that he had to be carried on and off the plane, fueling rumors that he was a drunk. Other times he took trains or even drove while his teammates flew.
Once again Jensen was talking about retirement, and in Spring Training 1957, the Red Sox allowed him to train with the San Francisco Seals, Boston's Triple-A team, rather than having to go to Florida. But he was still miserable. That year, he told Sports Illustrated:

“In baseball you get to the point where you don’t think you have a family. It just looks like I’m not built for this life like some ballplayers. You are always away from home and you’re lonesome, and as soon as I can, I intend to get out.”

The 32-year-old Jensen announced his retirement after the 1959 season, and he spent 1960 home with Zoe Ann and their children and running his restaurant. But he returned in 1961. After hitting just .130 in April, Jensen took a train from Detroit home to Reno, determined to quit once again. After a week away, he rejoined the team and had six hits in his next 10 at-bats. By the end of the season he was at .263/.350/.392, and this time he quit for good.
After leaving baseball, Jensen invested in real estate and a golf course, but lost most of his money. He then got a job working for a Lake Tahoe casino, was a national spokesman for Camel cigarettes, Wonder Bread, and Gillette, and even tried selling cars. Ironically, Jackie found himself on the road almost as much as he had been as a ballplayer. In 1963, he and Zoe Ann divorced, remarried, and then divorced again.
In 1967, Jensen became a TV sportscaster, married his producer Katharine Cortesi, and eventually teamed up with Keith Jackson calling college football games for ABC and a college baseball coach, first at the University of Nevada-Reno and then at the University of California, and he managed the Red Sox team in the New York Penn League in 1970. In 1977, Jackie and Katharine moved to Virginia and started a Christmas tree farm while he coached baseball at a military academy. About five years later, on July 14, 1982, he died of a heart attack at age 55.
You Don't Know Jack(ie):

• How good would Jackie Jensen have been as a Yankee? Maybe not great. He was a career .279/.369/.460 hitter, but just .238/.326/.398 at Yankee Stadium, which -- especially in that era -- was famously death on right-handed batters. Fenway Park was much more to his liking!
  
• Born in San Francisco in 1927, it's no surprise Jensen's favorite player as a kid was Joe DiMaggio, who made his debut with the San Francisco Seals when Jensen was a 5 years old. When Jensen made his major league debut, on April 18, 1950, DiMaggio went 3-for-6 with a triple in a 15-10 win over the Red Sox. Two weeks later, on May 3, Jensen made his first start, playing left field and batting second, and DiMaggio was in center and batting fourth.
  
• Jensen wore #36 at Cal. When he came up with the Yankees, he was first issued #40, then switched to #27, and finally to #25. (With the Senators, he wore #8, then #4; in Boston, he first wore #30 but primarily wore #4.) Currently, #40 is worn by Luis Severino. Other famous 40's include Chien-Ming Wang (2005-2009), Andy Hawkins (1989-1991), and Lindy McDaniel (1968-1973). #27 has been worn by Giancarlo Stanton since 2018; prior to him, it was worn by Austin Romine (2016-2017). It also was the number worn by Bob Wickman (1993-1996), Butch Wynegar (1982-1986), and Woodie Held (1954-1957). Gleyber Torres has worn #25 since 2018; it also was worn by Mark Teixeira (2009-2016), Jason Giambi (2002-2008), Joe Girardi (1996-1999), Jim Abbott (1993-1994), Tommy John (1979-1989), and Joe Pepitone (1962-1969).
  
• Jensen is one of six major leaguers to graduate from Oakland High School, but the only Yankee. Cal has sent 83 players to the majors, including twenty Yankees -- most notably, early 1990s pitcher Chuck Cary, 1930s infielder Lyn Lary, and 1990 A.L. ROY runner-up Kevin Maas.
  
• The Yankees during spring training in 1951 tinkered with the idea of using Jensen into a pitcher. Jensen had been a star pitcher at Cal, including pitching in the 1947 College World Series, and had pitched in a winter league that off-season. But he was bombed in a handful of spring training innings -- while crushing as a hitter -- and the Yankees decided to leave him in the outfield.
  
• College teammates said Jensen wasn't afraid of flying at Cal. His second wife Katharine said the phobia came from a near-miss experience on a flight early in his baseball career -- he looked out the window and saw another plane coming straight at him! The two planes managed to avoid each other, but he was never comfortable on a plane again.
  
• Billy Martin, who also had grown up in Northern California and was Jensen's teammate on both the Oakland Oaks and the Yankees, was merciless when it came to teasing Jensen about his fear of flying. In 1953, on a flight from Okinawa to Honshu to play a series of exhibition games in Japan, the plane ran into a bad storm and was bouncing pretty hard. Jensen, who wouldn't get on a plane without the help of tranquilizers, was blissfully sleeping through the turbulence. Martin found a lifejacket and put it on, then stood over Jensen and shouted "We're going down!"
  
• Arthur Ellen, a hypnotist that Jensen had used to try to cure his fear of flying, believed Jackie wasn't aerophobic at all. It was really a fear of losing his family. "Subconsciously, it developed as a good reason to leave the Red Sox and go home," the hypnotist said.
  
• Jensen is featured prominently in Norman Rockwell's famous 1957 painting, The Rookie. Jensen is the one seated on the bench tying his shoe in the middle of the painting. Standing behind him is Ted Williams, and sitting on the bench next to him is pitcher Frank Sullivan (#18). Wearing the catcher's mitt in the foreground is Sammy White, and the player with his hand over his mouth to the far right is Billy Goodman. Jensen, Sullivan, and White had gone to Rockwell's studio in Massachusetts to pose for the painting; the images of Williams and Goodman were based on photos. The shirtless player was one of Rockwell's assistants, and "the rookie" holding the suitcase was a local high school student!
  
• Boston sportswriters named Jensen the team's MVP in 1954, when he hit .276/.359/.472 with 25 home runs and 117 RBIs. I guess they were tired of giving the award to Ted Williams, who hit .345/.513/.635 that year, albeit in just 117 games as he had broken his collarbone in spring training. Williams didn't qualify for the batting title that year because he had only 386 at-bats... mostly due to his league-leading 136 walks. The rule was subsequently changed from at-bats to plate appearances.
  
• After Jensen was acquired by the Washington Senators, manager Bucky Harris -- who managed the Yankees when they won the 1947 World Series -- pulled him aside and told him he was the right fielder and he'd hit third. "No pep talk, no nothing, but he made it sound like I was the right fielder and third place hitter for a long time to come," Jensen later recalled. "It made me feel good." The 1950s Senators had a number of ex-Yankees and several of them told reporters that Harris was a much more low-key, hands-off manager than Casey Stengel, and Jensen agreed. "With Stengel it was always 'watch for that curve ball' or 'watch for that change up'," Jensen said. "Bucky leaves you on your own up there." But Jensen would later say Stengel was the smartest manager he'd ever had.
  
• Stengel obliquely mentioned Jensen in his famously long, rambling testimony before the Senate Anti-Trust and Monopoly Subcommittee on July 8, 1958. Asked about legislation that would exempt baseball from federal anti-trust laws, Stengel said about 7,000 words without really saying anything. The hearing was held the day after the All-Star Game -- the Stengel-managed A.L. All-Stars won, 4-3 -- and in the American League starting lineup were Jensen and two other ex-Yankees, Bob Cerv and Gus Triandos. Stengel was asked if the Yankees were going to continue to "monopolize" the World Series, and his confusing answer: "Well, I will tell you. I got a little concerned yesterday in the first three innings when I saw the three players I had gotten rid of [Jensen, Cerv, and Triandos] and I said when I lost nine what am I going to do? And when I had a couple of my players I thought so great of that did not do so good up to the sixth inning I was more confused but I finally had to go and call on a young man in Baltimore that we don't own and the Yankees don't own him and he is doing pretty well and I would actually have to to tell you that we are more the Greta Garbo-type now from success. We are being hated. I mean from the ownership and all we are being hated. Every sport that gets too great or one individual -- but if we made twenty-seven cents and it pays to have a winner at home why would you have a good winner in your park if you were an owner? That is the result of baseball. An owner gets most of the money at home, and it is up to him and his staff to do better or they ought to be discharged." After befuddling the committee with answers like that for 45 minutes, Stengel was excused and Mickey Mantle called upon. His opening statement: "My views are just about the same as Casey's."
  
• Casey Stengel later said Jensen plus Spec Shea, Jerry Snyder, and Archie Wilson to the Senators for Irv Noren and Tom Upton was the worst trade the Yankees made during his tenure. But in reality it was pretty much a wash for the Yankees. Jensen, in two seasons, would be worth 4.9 bWAR for the Senators before being traded. Shea, a right-handed pitcher who had been an All-Star with the Yankees as a rookie, pitched four years in Washington and was worth 2.9 bWAR. Snyder was a good-glove, no-hit infielder worth -0.1 bWAR in seven seasons with the Senators. (You must have a really good glove to last seven seasons with a 55 OPS+!) Wilson, at one point seen as a good prospect but now a 28-year-old minor league journeyman, only played 26 games in Washington before being traded. In exchange, the Yankees received the 27-year-old Irv Noren, an outfieldefirst baseman who played five years in New York and was an All-Star in 1954; he was worth 7.9 bWAR, making the trade essentially even by bWAR. (The other player the Yankees received, minor league infielder Tom Upton, never made it back to the bigs.) Prior to the 1957 season, Noren was traded to the Kansas City Athletics as part of a monster 13-player trade that included Clete Boyer, third baseman of the early 1960s dynasty!
  
• The two players Washington got from Boston for Jensen, Mickey McDermott and Tom Upton, were both future Yankees. McDermott was a left-handed pitcher whose father, Maurice McDermott, had played in the minors with Lou Gehrig. Mickey was just 25 years old at the time of the trade but had been in the majors for six seasons, going 48-34 with a 3.80 ERA (114 ERA+). In two years with the Senators, McDermott went 17-25 (but with a 3.58 ERA), then prior to the 1957 season was traded to the Yankees as part of a seven-player deal; he went 2-6 with a 4.24 ERA as a swingman, and closed out the Game 2 win in the 1956 World Series. After that one season in New York, he was part of the trade with the A's that brought back Clete Boyer.
  
• Umphlett, a 22-year-old infielder, was traded back to the Red Sox in 1955, and then the Red Sox traded him to the Yankees in 1962 for infielder Billy Gardner. He would spend 1962 and 1963 in Triple-A for the Yankees, then ended his career in the minors with the Minnesota Twins -- the team that had been the Senators until 1961.
  
• In 1956, the anthology television show Cavalcade of America had an episode called The Jackie Jensen Story. Jackie had a cameo as the adult version of himself, but the 30-minute episode was focused on Jackie's teenage years and the influence of his middle high school coach, a man named Ralph Kerchum who became a father figure. The coach was played by Ross Elliott, a Bronx native whose most memorable role might have been as the director in the Vitameatavegamin episode of I Love Lucy.
  
• Jensen's MVP in 1958 broke a string of four straight MVP awards for Yankees -- Yogi Berra in 1954 and 1955 followed by Mickey Mantle in 1956 and 1957. Nellie Fox of the White Sox won it in 1959, and then the Yankees won it four years in a row again -- Roger Maris in 1960 and 1961, Mantle in 1962, and Elston Howard in 1963. Then a long drought -- the next Yankee to win it would be Thurman Munson in 1976.
  
• Going by bWAR, Mantle should have won it a third straight year in 1958 -- his 8.7 bWAR led the league, followed by Frank Lary at 6.7 and Al Kaline at 6.5. Jensen's 4.9 was 10th that year. Of course, they didn't have bWAR back then!
  
• Jackie won a Gold Glove in 1959; it was just the third year of the award's existence, or he might have won more. "Right field in Boston is a bitch, the sun field, and few play it well," Ted Williams said. "Jackie Jensen was the best I saw at it." Jensen was renowned for his throwing arm -- he twice led the league in assists, and twice led the league in double plays as an outfielder. One Yankee scout said he had the best arm he'd seen since previously forgotten Yankee Bob Meusel, usually said to have the best cannon in baseball history until Roberto Clemente came along.
  
• Jensen was well known for his brashness, especially compared to Mantle's aw shucks attitude. Mantle, asked if he thought he could beat out Jensen to replace DiMaggio in center field, humbly replied that there were three positions in the outfield and he hoped to win any one of them. Jensen, on the other hand, vowed he'd "out-run, out-hit, and out-throw" Mantle, an arrogant answer that didn't go over well with teammates. Joe DiMaggio, asked what he thought of the duel for his old job, quipped that Mantle was "out-quoting" Jensen.
  
• When Mantle was asked what he thought about Jensen's quote, he replied: "I don't know what to make of that guy." Jensen would later say he was misquoted, but reports of his cockiness would follow him throughout his Yankee years. Later in life, Jensen said people mistook his shyness and anxiety for arrogance and rudeness.
  
• According to Sports Illustrated, Jensen is the only player to have played in the East-West football game, the Rose Bowl, the World Series, and the Major League All-Star Game. I'll take their word for it!
  
• As a freshman at Cal, the first time Jensen touched the ball -- on a punt return -- he ran it back for a 56-yard touchdown. Cal quarterback Charles Erb said they'd never seen anything like it. "He was all over the field, dodging and leaping over guys. The rest of us just stood there on the sidelines with our mouths open. Finally somebody said, 'Who in the hell is that guy?' "
  
• Jensen is one of two "forgotten" Yankees in the College Football Hall of Fame -- the other is 1960s catcher Jake Gibbs. (Other Yankees in the College Football Hall of Fame include John Elway, who was in the Yankee minor league system before joining the Denver Broncos, and Deion Sanders, who was on the Yankees in 1989 and 1990.) Jensen also is a member of the Cal Hall of Fame, the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame, and... ugh... the Boston Red Sox Hall of Fame.
  
• Despite his speed -- Jensen led the league in triples in 1956 and in stolen bases in 1954, and was in the top five in stolen bases in six seasons -- Jackie also was prone to grounding into double plays, leading the league in 1954, 1956, and 1957. His 32 GIDPs in 1954 was the major league record until Boston's Jim Rice hit into 36 in 1984, which is still the single-season record. Rice also had 35 in 1985. Jensen's 32 is tied for third with four others. The most by a Yankee? Dave Winfield with 30 in 1983, which is tied for 14th.
  
• Jensen lost most of his baseball earnings through a series of bad investments. His ex-wife, former Olympian Zoe Ann, later became a blackjack dealer in Reno to pay the bills.
  
• Jensen had four appearances on the popular show Home Run Derby, and set a record for most home runs in one match when he defeated Ernie Banks, 14-11, in Episode 24. The 25 combined home runs also was a record. He took on Mickey Mantle in Episode 3, with Mantle winning, 9-2, then defeated Rocky Colavito, 3-2, in Episode 25. He rematched against Mantle in Episode 26, with Mantle winning again, 13-10. Jensen set another record in that contest when he became the only player to hit four home runs in a row, and then a fifth home run in a row. That episode was supposed to be the season one finale, but it turned out to be the last episode of the series: The show's host and producer, Mark Scott, died of a heart attack at age 45, shortly after the last episode aired, and two months later the show's 64-year-old director Benjamin Stoloff also died. Rather than replacing them, the show was cancelled.
  
• Jensen's last game came against the Yankees, on October 1st, 1961, at Yankee Stadium. He appeared as a pinch hitter and popped out to shortstop Tony Kubek. In the 4th inning of that game, Roger Maris hit his 61st home run, breaking Babe Ruth's single-season record!
  
• Jackie and Zoe Ann had two sons, Jon and Jay, and a daughter, Jan. Jay's son, Tucker Jensen, was a pitcher in the Blue Jays farm system in 2011 and 2012.
  

In 1958, Jensen told Sports Illustrated that the biggest thrill of his career wasn't being an All-American or an All-Star, it wasn't winning an MVP or a World Series. "The biggest is having played in the same outfield with both DiMaggio and Williams."

I met with a wedding planne coordinator I really liked back in February. I remember her ending the call saying she was going to send all the info over to me right after we hung up ( timeline, pricing, etc). I had given her all our wedding date info and details for almost a good hour long call. I wasn't sure what the norm was for how long to wait on her, I finally messaged her again last week (2 months later) and she told me that she is now booked for our next year date? I did meet with another coordinator after this and they sent me pricing and a contract right away after our call. Our DJ and lighting person did as well
I have now spoken to a third wedding coordinator last week whom I also liked. She said she'd send me pricing and follow up info after our chat. It's been over a week now.
Is it my job to follow up right away after a call? What's the normal amount of days for a vendor to not send you follow-up info after a call? Or is there no follow-up, just "yes let's proceed?" and then contracts become drafted after this? I just wanted to know pricing so I could compare mostly. And I don't want to lose another vendor for our date. But I also don't want to feel like I'm harassing them?

Many of the posts here are people who freshly left a relationship or are currently on their uncoupling journey, this post is for those of us who have left their pwBPD at least 2 years ago.
I’ve gone no contact, no social media, no checking anything for about 15 months now. Despite wanting to see what she’s up to for months now I’ve resisted the urge.
Regardless, I can’t seem to get over the past. I am haunted by her. Her memory, smell, laugh, touch, the little loving things she did consume me. I’m in a weird space where I both love her greatly and feel a strong pain by what she did, and a strong shame and patheticness at loving someone so much who could not even care to treat me like a human despite many tries to be amicable. The duality of the contrasting feelings is confusing and painful and often put me in a depression when I reflect on it.
It’s been 3 years. Still haven’t fell in love with anyone else. Even though I’ve dated and been intimate with other women I struggle a lot with dating and self worth. I feel empty inside and sex feels mostly not very pleasurable.
I still don’t feel good enough to be with someone long term, perhaps ever. My views on relationships and connections have been changed forever. I will never marry anyone and wish to die alone. I want to look forward but I feel so alone. My dating life has been awful and everytime I feel low I fantasize on how great things would have been if we were together.
Still in my head about her. I get flash backs of the happy moments of our relationship. Still have dreams about her. I go from idealizing the great moments of the relationship to reminding myself of her behavior during the break up, which multiple times lead me to the brink of killing myself. Almost died, still have health problems from lack of eating and sleeping, lost my job, lost everything. It got really bad. Mentally, still not fully recovered.
Took me 18 months after the break up to be normal on the outside. She would contact me and it would put me back in a fugue. Sometimes she would call me attempting to “grey rock me” by being very stiff and business like while also hurling accusations of cheating and other a false allegations at me.
About a year ago she called and I didn’t answer. I often wonder what she wanted to say but whatever it was it probably would have made me feel awful.
I go from idealizing our relationship. To feeling sorry for her and trying to forgive her. To being angry at her cruelty. To feeling resent at how I was treated. To feeling regret at the life we could have had. To feeling shame at being such a pathetic pushover that I would still be attached to someone who treated me so awfully. Always cycling between these feelings.
I often wonder what she’s doing. I think about her sleeping with another man and feel great pain.
And despite making new memories and having new experiences my brain seems inexplicably to attach all sorts sensory experiences to her. It’s like my brain is a broken record that is stuck on loving her, every once in a while I have to go and “correct” the glitches back to remind myself how awfully she behaved towards me, how she manipulated me in the end and how she betrayed me. I feel like my brain is just so stuck.
One quote that I read here that I wanted to share that always helped was “the poison is not the antidote”
I repeat to this to myself during times where I miss her until it sticks. By remembering her I am drinking the poison. It helps sometimes and unlocks the “epiphany” again
Another thing I do is I come back here and read the stories on this sub, which almost word for word resonate with all her behaviors(isn’t it weird how consistently they all seem to act???).
It unlocks the epiphany again and shake myself out of her trance.
I realize how I was manipulated by reading people’s experiences here and it clicks back to me that yes, she did have bpd and she was shitty and that yes I was abused, and that yes, I was gaslighted and split on.
I come back here too this sub every few months because I need to read these stories and get reminded. So thank you guys.

Dog is 18 months old, had him since he was six months old, was hospitalised for severe neurological issues 30 days after we got him and suffered respiratory arrest. Spent 3 or so months rehabilitating him - teaching him how to walk again and do all basic functions (e.g, how to go to the toilet). We saved his life and have put EVERYTHING into him, majorly impacting our financial situation, career progression and mental health.
He’s now “recovered” from a spinal implant but is still ataxic (can’t do slippy surfaces), requires extensive pain medication on a daily basis and is left with reactivity issues. We’ve had multiple behaviourists and finally found a great one, he’s now able to go for two walks a day without barking at humans, but remains highly reactive to all other animals. He is also somewhat intolerant to exercise - he excessively pants immediately. Vets/neurologists don’t know why.
Today he bit me for the first time. It was my fault, I was rushing around and missed his warning sings. I’m not worried about the bite risk but it’s just got us questioning why we are even doing this anymore for the following reasons:

• he’s had over 15k of treatment (a lot through insurance), scans and surgery but his life is still limited. We were lied to about the long-term impact of surgery; if we had known it was like this we wouldn’t have proceeded for everyone’s sake. We were told that once recovered he would be “normal” physically. It was a lie.
  
• behaviourists have said he has permanent puppy regression, essentially meaning that he can’t ever interact with another dog: he tries to nip at other dogs and acts like a puppy but doesn’t have his puppy pass. He does this with people as well - he nibbles on their clothing and barks for attention. We’ve been told it’s highly unlikely he can be trained out of this and we’ve missed the socialisation window because of his crate rest.
  
• the relentlessness: it’s been over a year of every hour dedicated to him when not at work. We get a maximum of 30 mins a day to ourselves away from him. We are in our mid 20s and we can’t go anywhere far, have people over, go outside a lot. We are prisoners. I’ve had to drop all hobbies and don’t have meaningful friendships now - there isn’t time or space.
  
• cost: if he lives for another 10 years, the medication that he will need to take forever comes to around £13,000, which is money away from a house and children.
  
• the end result: he will never play with a dog, go for a long walk, be able to walk on surfaces inside that aren’t rugs, climb stairs, jump on furniture, go to a cafe, go in a car. His life is literally sleep inside and go for two 20 min walks in a loop each day. He’s a happy dog because he doesn’t know any different but to me that’s just not a life. It’s going to impact our ability to buy a house or progress with careers as we can only work remotely.
  
• unable to rehome him: the organisation previously blanked all messages from us, there’s ongoing legal issues with them. All other organisations, including specialist sanctuaries, say no - he’s too complex and a home to cater to his needs doesn’t exist. They called it a “unicorn” home.
  
• incessant barking: he can’t get to what he wants so he barks, and this behaviour has spread to his automatic reaction. If he hears a noise, bark; sees something he isn’t sure of, bark. Have tried multiple solutions from behaviourists and none of them make a difference.
  
• there is no scope for new medication: he’s maxed out on what he can take. He’s limited on what can be introduced because of cost but also his ataxia.
  
• partner’s mental health: she has said she can’t take anymore of it and wants to exit the situation, it’s really impacting our relationship. I love him but was for euthanasia when suggested before but she didn’t want to, so now we’ve put in a year of hard work to get to this point. She is still saying she isn’t sure about euthanasia but the situation is making her unwell. It’s making me unwell as well.
  
• talk of further scans to check everything is fine and no other neurological conditions. We’re exhausted.
  

We adopted him knowing the challenges of a rescue, we were fine with regular dog sacrifices, but our lives and the entirety of our discussions is dedicated to him. He’s a full-time job and we didn’t sign up for this. It’s not an exaggeration to say we’ve given everything to rehabilitate him (changed jobs, stopped hobbies, spent thousands on him, stopped seeing others) but now we’re asking for what? It’s not like he has an amazing quality of life and likely never will. Every week it’s a vet visit, sorting out his meds, a new physical health question or he’s started doing something weird, like right now he pants for most of the night (vet and behaviourist don’t know why). We’re like a military operation - I get the camera, partner Google’s and we start a symptom tracker. It’s sad that we have forgotten what it was like to not have this stress.
My dog is my life and I thought if I kept giving and sacrificing it would be worth it, but he’s taking my 20s away and I’m a shell of the person compared to who I used to be. I’m scared it won’t come back. I know it’s not his fault and he’s a lovely dog in many ways.
Sorry for the long post I just wanted to know what other people’s views were about euthanasia for a non-aggressive dog. Please please please don’t say to rehome him - it isn’t possible, we’ve explored that option. Thanks for reading and would appreciate any views.

I am 18+ and all participants should be too.
Summer has finally arrived and with it our annual beach vacation. It was the most anticipated week of the year in our group and over the years we’ve lost some friends and gained some new ones. This year was one of our smaller groups, but one I would never forget.
Due to us getting older and jobs taking priority a lot of friends couldn’t make the trip as a result my girlfriend invited a lot of her friends. One friend she invited in particular was you you were about 5 foot maybe 110 pounds with dark features and a killer body. Despite only being 5 foot you had C cup boobs and an ass that could make a man drool and you knew it.
We were all out at the beach our first day out there and I had to stay behind for a work call that ran over. As soon as I finished, I quickly stripped all of my clothes and went to grab my bathing suit. Little did I know that my buddy decided to borrow mine without asking. I begin looking through my suitcase but naked trying to find my other one. At the same time you had to come back to the house to see what was taking me so long you walk into the bedroom I was it in your lime green thong bikini. Your jaw dropped open as I stood next to my suitcase, completely naked, with the weather look like a third leg, swinging in the air.
Hey there if you’d like to pick up where I left off message me on Reddit or Kik me @ mdimz88jr

So all of this started back in Christmas 2022 and jeez it’s been a long 6 months. I want to include as much info as possible to not be bias but I also don’t wanna rant so I’ll try to be concise 🙃.
I (25f) have been with my partner (29m) for almost 4 years now, living together for 3. I used to have a pretty decent relationship with MIL and FIL we’d spend Christmas and birthdays together and whilst I didn’t particularly like them as people, it was never an issue and we all got along great.
Fast forward to Christmas 2022 (sorry if this bit gets confusing also it’s important to note we have a cat who I don’t trust with anyone other than bf and my mum). I was set to fly out of the country on Boxing Day so we had arranged the following plans; leave our house with our cat Xmas morning to visit my mum, spend Xmas morning/afternoon at my mums, Xmas evening bf travels to mil and fil with cat, I stay at my mums Xmas night and fly out next day, bf stay at his parents with cat to return home Boxing Day evening.
These plans were agreed upon as I really don’t like taking my cat out of the house for extended periods of time. Fast forward I’m on the plane 35,000ft up and I find out bf didn’t take the cat home after repeatedly telling me he would. I have audhd and I got extremely overwhelmed as I had no control over the situation, I was angry and worried about my cat suffering more stress not being in her normal surroundings and that he didn’t stick to the plans we made. I lashed out and accused his parents of manipulating him into staying another night. This isn’t new behaviour for them and they’ve manipulated him in the past into similar situations. His mum read our messages and started texting me from his phone saying how I’m no longer welcome in their home and to fuck off. The rest of the time I was out of the country we didn’t really talk and had another fight new years as he left our cat home alone to go to his parents whilst fireworks were going off. He wanted to take the cat but I didn’t want her enduring anymore stress so I said no and he left anyway.
Once I got back in the country bf and I managed to patch things up. I found out he was suffering from a tooth infection and was in a lot of pain and that’s why he was acting the way he did. It’s still a sore spot but we’ve moved on and we’re stronger than ever (apart from this issue haha).
Over the past 6 months I’ve made numerous attempts to apologise to his parents and ask to meet to talk things over and move on. fil doesn’t really care all that much, but mil has refused to have anything to do with me. Bf has asked her to talk to me and again she refuses. Whatever I can deal with that, but she’s now gone further and has accused me of stealing his money, controlling him and even going to far to say I’m the reason he has mental health issues. She refuses to believe he suffered before he met me despite being diagnosed with bpd literal years before we met. There are other things, I’m convinced she’s the reason I was fired from my job (my ex-manager is bfs uncle) but I can’t prove it so I won’t go into that. But still demonstrates the type of hatred she has for me.
It all came to a head this morning. It’s his dads birthday today and he made a remark this morning about not calling him whilst he’s with his parents because the last time I rang him while he was with them (I had a bad therapy session and was crying in my car) his mum accused me of ruining their day. Idk the comment just didn’t sit right with me, I’ve apologised to them I’ve tried to speak to them and make amends and they just don’t want anything to do with me. Why am I being told I can’t ring my boyfriend bc his parents will get upset when they’re the ones refusing to mend things?
I had to leave the house and cry in my car for 20 minutes this morning and I realised I just couldn’t cope with their shit anymore. In the past 6 months they’ve made me cry and breakdown multiple times. I love bf and I want to marry him but I can’t be in a relationship with someone’s whose parents hate me and accuse me of horrible things. Bf doesn’t want to cut them off or set boundaries or anything and yes he does defend me when he’s with them, but it shouldn’t be happening to begin with.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s out with them at the moment and I’m in bed binge watching bones :( he did come and kiss me goodbye and say heA loves me before he left and I know he feels bad for everything that’s going on and he is very angry at his parents. Is there any way out of this situation without ending the relationship?

I've been with my partner for 2 years (26m, 25f)
I've given her everything I have to offer, anytime we go on a date, I'm planning everything, driving and paying etc. We like to play computer games, and I upgrade my monitor, so I gave her my old monitor as it was better than hers, for free (and plenty of other little gifts here and there for no other reason than because I want to)
Helped her financially, for rent, for when we moved towns, playing for her insurances, plenty of gas money giving her good advise.
Any time there's a problem with her car I'm under there fixing it Or a problem with her pc, I'm the one to fix it
She tells me she needs more affection from me, calling her nice pet names, and constantly reminding her she's loved, cuddles etc I willingly ablidge to make sure feels loved
I do these things because I want to do them, not for any reward
I have a higher libido than her. We used to have sex often... At the start, and then we tapered off, which is to be expected. However, more recently, it's gone from multiple times a week, to none... for more than a month!!! I cannot handle this, this is a deal breaker She's never in the mood anymore, I have to beg for her to give me a hand job at the very least And when she's not up for that at all, I watch porn so I'm not begging her like a dog. But if she sees that I'm masturbating she gets emotional because 'it's not her...'
Recently, on one of our dates, she says to me "are you just using me for sex" I was fucking blown away by this comment
Anyone experienced this before? I'm looking for the exit if this is what it's going to be like from now...
Let me know your thoughts

So all of this started back in Christmas 2022 and jeez it’s been a long 6 months. I want to include as much info as possible to not be bias but I also don’t wanna rant so I’ll try to be concise 🙃 Also I’m gonna write it in order from my pov.
I (25f) have been with my partner (29m) for almost 4 years now, living together for 3. I used to have a pretty decent relationship with MIL and FIL we’d spend Christmas and birthdays together and whilst I didn’t particularly like them as people, it was never an issue and we all got along great.
Fast forward to Christmas 2022 (sorry if this bit gets confusing also it’s important to note we have a cat who I don’t trust with anyone other than bf and my mum). I was set to fly out of the country on Boxing Day so we had arranged the following plans; leave our house with our cat Xmas morning to visit my mum, spend Xmas morning/afternoon at my mums, Xmas evening bf travels to mil and fil with cat, I stay at my mums Xmas night and fly out next day, bf stay at his parents with cat to return home Boxing Day evening.
These plans were agreed upon as I really don’t like taking my cat out of the house for extended periods of time. Fast forward I’m on the plane 35,000ft up and I find out bf didn’t take the cat home after repeatedly telling me he would. I have audhd and I got extremely overwhelmed as I had no control over the situation, I was angry and worried about my cat suffering more stress not being in her normal surroundings and that he didn’t stick to the plans we made. I lashed out and accused his parents of manipulating him into staying another night. This isn’t new behaviour for them and they’ve manipulated him in the past into similar situations. His mum read our messages and started texting me from his phone saying how I’m no longer welcome in their home and to fuck off. The rest of the time I was out of the country we didn’t really talk and had another fight new years as he left our cat home alone to go to his parents whilst fireworks were going off. He wanted to take the cat but I didn’t want her enduring anymore stress so I said no and he left anyway.
Once I got back in the country bf and I managed to patch things up. I found out he was suffering from a tooth infection and was in a lot of pain and that’s why he was acting the way he did. It’s still a sore spot but we’ve moved on and we’re stronger than ever (apart from this issue haha).
Over the past 6 months I’ve made numerous attempts to apologise to his parents and ask to meet to talk things over and move on. fil doesn’t really care all that much, but mil has refused to have anything to do with me. Bf has asked her to talk to me and again she refuses. Whatever I can deal with that, but she’s now gone further and has accused me of stealing his money, controlling him and even going to far to say I’m the reason he has mental health issues. She refuses to believe he suffered before he met me despite being diagnosed with bpd literal years before we met. There are other things, I’m convinced she’s the reason I was fired from my job (my ex-manager is bfs uncle) but I can’t prove it so I won’t go into that. But still demonstrates the type of hatred she has for me.
It all came to a head this morning. It’s his dads birthday today and he made a remark this morning about not calling him whilst he’s with his parents because the last time I rang him while he was with them (I had a bad therapy session and was crying in my car) his mum accused me of ruining their day. Idk the comment just didn’t sit right with me, I’ve apologised to them I’ve tried to speak to them and make amends and they just don’t want anything to do with me. Why am I being told I can’t ring my boyfriend bc his parents will get upset when they’re the ones refusing to mend things?
I had to leave the house and cry in my car for 20 minutes this morning and I realised I just couldn’t cope with their shit anymore. In the past 6 months they’ve made me cry and breakdown multiple times. I love bf and I want to marry him but I can’t be in a relationship with someone’s whose parents hate me and accuse me of horrible things. Bf doesn’t want to cut them off or set boundaries or anything and yes he does defend me when he’s with them, but it shouldn’t be happening to begin with.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s out with them at the moment and I’m in bed binge watching bones :( he did come and kiss me goodbye and say heA loves me before he left and I know he feels bad for everything that’s going on and he is very angry at his parents. Is there any way out of this situation without ending the relationship?

I'm likely just stressing for naught, but...
My visa expired on April 27. On April 12, I dropped off my:
Application for Change of Status (Change from Humanities to Instructor)
- main employer switched from juku to high school (3rd year there, but this year is increased work there to make them primary job)
- included copy of employment letter plus the required employer form with salary
(note: My salary from "main" gig is not extremely high. It's 215,000y monthly)
1st Application to Engage in Activities Outside Original visa
- request for "Humanities" work allowed as still work for juku; this is my 5th year there, about 65,000y monthly now. Was higher, but I reduced as high school hours increased.
2nd Application to Engage in Activities Outside Original Visa
- more "Humanities" work - for Eikaiwa - this is my 9th year there, about 80,000y monthly
My taxes are all paid. Insurances all paid. No criminal issues. Same apartment for 10 years.
Annual income for past year about 3.8m yen. Current income based on jobs to be 4.1m yen.
(Note, immigration always gives me 1 year renewals. For sure if they gave me longer, I'd do PR...)
Anyway ~ during Covid, it would take 2-3 weeks for renewals. Even before Covid it was about 4 weeks.
I will say that my renewal date used to be in the January-February months which are notably slower, but as each year the date nudged a little further, now my renewal is in Golden Week time.
They have not contacted me for more information. They have not contacted my employers.
The receipt given at time of application drop off gives me until June 27. An acquaintance told me that her recent (mid March drop off, with receipt deadline end of May) renewal app took until the last minute and they actually called her, rather than send a postcard, as they finished the renewal etc 5 days before the 2 month deadline, so they told her to just come in as time was ticking.
I'm just over here feeling pressed since it's now June...I/they have 26 more days per the receipt but I'm just antsy on it.
Anyone else having longer times or hearing of longer times?

I (F33) love my partner (M44) and he’s accepted me and my 3 kids in a very caring way but I am unsure if I’ve overlooked the importance of certain issues and would like to know if any of them are correctable so that we might move forward to marriage.
My partner and I made our relationship official over a year ago. I could tell he was very much into his work and used to living his bachelor lifestyle. We dated, developed strong feelings for one another and got serious, he met my kids, we talked future.
Everything was great although there was stress because he stepped up to fill his manager’s (we’ll call him Sam) role as a way to expedite his career advancement-advice from Sam’s boss (we’ll call her Trish). On rare occasion he was a bit flakey -making plans and then not following through or forgetting- but we talked about it and it seemed to improve. After months of dedication he was not offered the job by Trish who said her hands were tied.
Trish and Sam both followed a mutual colleague to another company and soon my partner followed. We went long distance at this point but he instantly became consumed with work. Sam eventually started having issues at work with people not liking the way he did things and my partner stepped in to help.
Soon, Sam went on various trips and medical leave and my partner was directed by Trish (Sam’s boss at this company too) to fill the role as a way to expedite his career advancement. My partner did this for months and it weighed on our relationship. We planned for me to move closer to him with my kids and join the company as well. Trish then advised against me joining so it suddenly was no longer on the table in his eyes. I found a good paying job at a different company down the street and my kids and I moved into our own place, closer to him in this other state. It took about 6 months but we finally got settled in and I told him I was done moving and wanted to set down roots here. Our plan was to finish out our leases and then get married and all live together.
The flakiness returned in multiple ways this time: through being unable to follow plans because work got in the way, not being present (on company phone or talking calls), to saying he was staying late at work when in reality he had a networking dinner to go to and tried to omit it not knowing a mutual friend had mentioned it to me. The relationship issues caused by work continued to the point where I would cry regularly about his priorities, him not showing up for us in various ways and our my concerns for our future.
He continues to give this role all he’s got for more months, saying that focusing on his career now will pay dividends. In the meantime I start to notice his bad habits increase in frequency; nose picking, poor dental hygiene, not taking showers at night, skipping meals while at work, speaking badly about people because Trish thought it was funny and being dismissive of the issues I’d bring up to work through.
When it came time, Trish again had her hands tied and my partner did not get the role. Now he is sad, crying, feeling let down and overlooked. He seems to be expressing some of the same hurts through all this that I had when talking to him about how he put work above our relationship. I’m sad to see him like this but I do want to help him.
At this point Trish gave someone else the job and spoke to my partner about other roles like this one at sites that are in other states. I told him I felt I could never sacrifice enough for him and his career, reminded him that I also have ambitions and wasn’t sure he’d do the same for me and said I did not support another move.
He was upset and feeling unsure of what his next steps could be but then asked me how I felt about him asking Trish for a corporate role where he might travel two weeks of each month and not be connected to a specific location along with having more separation between work and home. I reminded him that we spoke about having children and of my expectation that someone would be in the trenches with me on the daily.
I don’t care about work or our income more than our family life and I feel like I need him to lead whatever family we are going to have with those same values. I don’t want to turn away from him but I don’t know if I see the same future we spoke about or even one where I would have a husband who puts me ahead of himself the way that I do or father who is there for his children at the end of the day.
How can I help him? How can our relationship progress/survive?
TL;DR Partner puts work first. Correctable? Do we still have a future?

Hey everyone,
I came across this upcoming webinar called "Unlocking the Secrets of Cyber Security Career: Your Burning Questions Answered," and I thought it might be of interest to some of you. It's part of the CCNA webinar series and covers important topics like the main technical areas of Cyber Security, starting a career in Cyber Security even with no experience, and the impact of Artificial Intelligence (AI) on Cyber Security job roles.
Date: Saturday, July 1st Time: 7:00 PM - 8:30 PM UTC+2 Location: Online Event
If you're curious about Cyber Security or looking to jumpstart your career in this field, this webinar could provide valuable insights. Don't miss out on this opportunity!
Feel free to check out the details and register [here](insert registration link).
Looking forward to exploring the world of Cyber Security together!
https://events.teams.microsoft.com/event/dee0ea8c-0e38-4ba5-88a8-bc5886293582@16537471-1a7b-499f-a457-47acc9a75fd1?fbclid=IwAR1W9fPwFTI3omWUgSryAqA1VKy2_Dd2LqsgyH8CzUkIkE_-su89HJqxSUo

I've been given a range between $300 and $800, for my prescription. This is just calling different places in New York. My job has visual coverage but it's nothing crazy, and really isn't made for someone with disabilities. And I figure it might be cheaper to just go out of pocket if I can find somewhere to produce them for me, after I pick out frames.

TLDR: I would love and appreciate any advice :)
Hello :) I am a recent graduate with a B.S. in Biology and I am currently job hunting. I decided my junior year that I didn't want to go into academia/research and I also decided a long time ago that I was not doing any pre-health profession (chemistry kicked my butt and I wanted to cry every day). I have spent the last couple months trying to figure out what to do and I feel lost overall especially given the number of avenues one could go down. I personally believe that you fully rule out something until you try it. I have gone down numerous rabbit holes trying to figure out my next steps.
Through the adventure that was my career exploration I have ruled out a few things. I have been using linked in as a way to reach out and set up informational interviews. If any of you are willing please feel free to PM me. My school's network isn't that strong because most biology, bcmb or chemistry students go into PhD/graduate programs or medical School. We don't have STEM recruiters visit our campus. I decided not to apply to graduate school because there wasn't anything I was passionate about and I didn't want to have more student debt until I knew what I wanted to study. Within my personal network no one is within the same industry, it is all finance or social work.
I completely understand that your first job is just a stepping stone to where you want to be.
What I want from my first job: The main things I am looking is mentorship and the potential for future growth (acquiring skills and experience needed for future roles). Plan: stay for 2 - 3 years.
Teamwork and collaboration is also really important/valuable to me. It's important for people to have respect for others and be mindful. I want to be around people who understand that their actions impact everyone. If they see a tasks that needs to be done, they do it instead of saying that it isn't their problem.
Something that offers variety day-to-day and challenges me.
I am someone who requires structure, good management, and going into a physical office/seeing people face-to-face.
Short term (2 - 5 years from now): Find an area I am passionate about and go to graduate school. Acquire the required experience for supervisory roles such as project or product management. Learn about the business side of the industry. Learn relevant data analytics/computer skills. Pay off current student debt.
Work at a large company that has branches abroad and transfer for a year or two.
Long term career goals: Find strong mentors. End up in a management/leadership position of some kind. Be surrounded by ambitious individuals / high achievers. This is because I believe you are who you surround yourself with and having ambitious friends push you to step out of your comfort zone and be the best you, you can be. Build a strong and reliable network.
Make enough money to afford family vacations abroad and be able to support parents after retirement.
Qualifications:
Academic Experience: ~2 years in undergraduate research (wet) lab: cell culture, PCR, DNA purification, protein stains and westerns. However, I did not actually analyze the data, it was handed off to someone else in the lab. A summer REU in the Public Health realm.
Extra Curriculars: Held several club leadership positions, basic experience with event planning, worked student office jobs throughout college, was an Residential Assistant, studied abroad for a semester.
Careers I don't feel would be the best fit:
Sales: meeting monthly quotas would give me way too much stress and I hate the idea of cold calling with the purpose of selling a product
Working in a lab: the thought of messing up weeks and months of data would give me too much anxiety.
Research Assistant: Not too keen given the jobs is basically reading a ton of research papers which the thought of gives me existential dread.
Teaching: Not for me. I believe it takes a certain individual to be a good teacher and communicator. I am also super awkward around children/adolescences. My biggest fear is that I would teach them the wrong thing and mess up their fundamental understanding or not be engaging enough.
CDC positions: Of the ones I have seen, they all seem to be about HIV. I took a microbiology and immunology class and the topic didn't intrigue me.
Thank you for reading through my super long posts: I thought providing detail would give more specific/targeted advice.
Questions:

1. Suggestions for companies with a good reputation, upward mobility and mentorship. One that invest in it's employees.
2. How do I figure out if what a company is offering is a good salary?
3. Once I get an offer, how do I leverage my experience so I don't get lowballed? I feel like I don't have anything to offer. Additionally, most positions I have seen only pay $30,000 - $40,000 which where I in the city is not livable. (I want to be able to save/start paying off my student debt and not live pay check to pay check)
4. How do you find good mentors, especially when you are unsure of what you want to do next?
5. How do you find local networking events post college?
6. Career pivots are also welcomed suggestions
7. If there is a different thread/community to ask this in please let me know. (posted in the biotech community)

Thank you for your time and suggestions. I hope you have a lovely day! :)