Hello, I'm planning a trip with my bf (we are both 23yo) and I am looking for a feedback on my trip plan. Also I would like to know the best way to fill the blank spaces.
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Date	Location	Morning	Afternoon	Evening
23.09.23	Tokyo	Arrival at Haneda Airport	Sensoji Temple	Explore Shinjuku & spend time at Kabukicho Tower
24.09.23	Tokyo		Kokugikan Sumo grand tournament	Sanrio Cafe Ikebukuro & Fukuru Matsuri Ikebukuro
25.09.23	Tokyo	Tokyo Sea Life Patk	TeamLab Planets
26.09.23	Tokyo	Tokyo DisneySea	Tokyo DisneySea
27.09.23	Tokyo	Explore Harajuku and Shibuya	Gotokuji Temple	Shopping at Ginza
28.09.23	Hakone	Arrive to Mishima Station, rent a car, Mishima Skywalk	Hakone-jinja Shrine, Owakudani Valley	Check in hotel at Gotenba
29.09.23	Fuji	Hike mt.fuji?		Hana no Miyako Park?
30.09.23	Kyoto	Return the car at Mishima Station, take Shinkansen to Kyoto	Check in hotel	Night Walking Tour
01.10.23	Kyoto		Nishiki Market
02.10.23	Kyoto	Explore Uji	Explore Fushimi Inari
03.10.23	Kyoto	Arashiyama Monkey Park	Explore Arashiyama
04.10.23	Yokohama	Take the Shinkansen to Yokohama	Minato Mirai	ChinaTown
05.10.23	Yokohama	Check out hotel & go to Enoshima Aquarium	Explore Enoshima & Take the train to Narita Station	Stay at the hotel in Narita

Questions:

1. Does anyone know the time the Mikoshi festival in Ikebukuro on 24.09.23 will start?
2. Can you recommend any places to spend the evening near Tokyo Station?
3. I understand that climbing on Fuji off season is prohibited and dangerous, so we won't try to reach the summit. I just wanted to know if going to the 5th station in 30.09 is Okay. I also read that you can Hike to Hoei Crater (which is near 6th station) on Fuji this time of year. Is hiking to Hoei Crater safe and doable? If not, are there any good hiking trails nearby?
4. Is Nishiki Market in Kyoto open on Sundays? What else can we do on a Sunday in kyoto?
5. Where can we spend the evening in Kyoto?
6. Is a day trip to Enoshima from Yokohama doable? Is Enoshima Aquarium fun? If not, what else we can do in Yokohama?
7. Can you recommend any affordable Matcha or Sushi workshops? We are both students so nothing fancy...
8. Can you recommend on Pork-free Ramen and Gyoza? We do not eat Pork but would love to try.

Thank you for your help!

I have previously written two posts about gay (sex)adventures in Tokyo about 6 months ago, they are HERE and HERE. I just made another trip last week, this time more focused on general tourist activities, including a side trip to hike near Mount Fuji. But nothing would stop me from exploring the night and sex life of the city. Hope you'd find the additional information useful:
About bars - as a mature Asian muscle bear myself I again ended up going to first to Tokyo Eagle, then off to Eagle Blue to see a gogo dance performance by a group called Bear Train. Both places are in the middle of Shinjuku's gay district Ni-chome. Eagle Blue is more of a basement club than bar, and it was packed full of people that night. It'a a cover charge of ¥1,500, but you get one big drink up to the same price. They do serve drinks in big plastic cups. The atmosphere was great, so if you happen to be in Tokyo during the weekend go check out their Twitter to see if they have any performance.
As it was still early I decided to also go check out Dragon Men, which has a more professional troupe of muscle gogo dancers. This is a legit club and I read the weekend before the US singer Lil Nas X was there having fun after a promotional tour in Japan. I gotta say the performance there was way better than Bear Train's. So unless you, like me, have a thing for bears, Dragon Men is probably more entertaining.
A few people have asked me about "masseurs" and "escorts" in Tokyo. This is not something I usually go for but since Yen is now really cheap against USD, one can get a full service massage for only between ¥15,000 (around USD110) to ¥20,000. I was traveling with 2 other buddies this round and one of them knows more about the scene than me - here is what he did. There is actually a website that lists all the independent "masseurs" through out Japan. You can see their basic information and there are links to their Twitter accounts and websites to find out more. The main website is in Japanese and English, and you can set your browser to auto-translate from Japanese to English when viewing their own webpages.
Most masseurs prefer you contact them by emails first. You can use English and from what my friend has shown me they have no problem replying in English too. You should also contact them at least half a day in advance. Some of them regularly update their availability on Twitter. For some reasons Twitter is still very popular with Japanese and local businesses too. My friend hired one for an afternoon massage; he was so happy afterward that he is still talking about it. But please be mindful that this is a list of "masseurs" even when some are very explicit in what additional services are being offered. Use your own judgement and be respecful when setting up an appointment.
Since I was sharing a room with a travel buddy, we did decide to stay in more expensive hotels this round. The first one is in Ginza, and the second one is a "hot spring" hotel in Shinjuku right next to the gay district Ni-chome. It has a large bath in the basement with one big hot pool of hotspring water that can sit up to 8 people comfortably. There are also two smaller ones in an sealed off "outside" area. If you like the experience Japanese hotspring bathing this place is a very good deal, with the additional bonus that since it's also close to Ni-chome, it's popular with gay tourists and locals alike. All of us have encountered some very discreet cruising.
I don't encourage anyone to cruise in a public place that is not meant to be exclusively gay, but a smile and a friendly nod to the right person can definitely make your trip more interesting. I did exactly that and ended up in another hotel guest's room one evening.
Much as I wanted to visit at least one gay sauna or sex club this trip, I decided not to. Monkey pox is still a concern in Japan, and people are getting infected despite being vaccinated. This is just my personal choice, but you can still read about the 24 Kaikan sauna chain and various sex clubs in my two previous posts.
It's still really cheap to visit Japan now, but its economy is recovering faster than everyone else. It may not be cheap for long.

Trigger Warning: Stillbirth, miscarriage, IVF
I'll start with the old cliche - long time lurker, first time poster. So thank you to anyone who reads and/or comments, and hopefully my current story may help in some way. I have just added anything that may be relevant.
I'm a 37 year old Australian female, with a history of endometriosis and cysts that ran up and down my the outside of my fallopian tubes. Unfortunately, those cysts started twisting, turning blue and bursting, which caused horrific and debilitating pain. I was in my early 20's when this first started occurring. This led me on a six year journey (unfortunately I encountered a lot of dismissive doctors - 'It's just period pain'), before an incredible gynaecologist organised a laparoscopy for me immediately, and she discovered extensive endometriosis and the cysts. She lanced and burnt her way through like an epic warrior, inserted a Mirena, and my quality of life improved instantly with no complications.
Fast forward to me at 32 and TTC with my partner. Fortunately, it only took us 3 months to see those glorious double lines on a pregnancy test. I had a blissful (and quite ignorant) pregnancy, welcoming our daughter at 39 weeks with an uncomplicated, spontaneous vaginal labour. My daughter was quite light at 2.6kg, but long at 51cm. I remember the midwife inquiring as to whether I smoked whilst looking at the placenta. I used too, but hadn't in 8 years. She shrugged and being that I had just laboured and we had a healthy, albeit light, baby in our arms, we didn't think anything else of it. My daughter thrived and is now a four year old ball of gorgeousness that we are so grateful for.
When Number 1 was about 16 months, we conceived our second child - very quickly might I add! One weekend of fun and the deal was done. Lucky us! Once again, a very unremarkable, straightforward pregnancy. Until it wasn't. At 35.5 weeks, I went to the the hairdresser, returned home and realised I hadn't felt her kick for a while - she was another little girl. Number 2 was much more of a kicker and squirmer than Number 1, so I knew something wasn't right. Later that night at the hospital, those horrendous, life-altering words were said, 'There is no heartbeat'. I delivered her vaginally, a far more physically gruelling and emotional labour than my first. Unfortunately, we have never had any definitive answers as to why there was a partial placenta abruption - her autopsy revealed that she was utterly perfect anyway. She was the same weight and height as her sister at 35.5 weeks. It was discovered that I have a prothrombin mutation that makes my blood a little more prone to clotting. However, we've been told that this condition can either affect pregnancies or not (hence Number 1 doing so well). The strongest theory is that perhaps a clot did disrupt the umbilical cord/placenta, but no one can say for sure with the lack of evidence.
Those of you who are sadly in the baby loss club (but don't want to be of course) will know what that grief journey looks like after the rug has been pulled out from under you and your life splinters into this new world thay you have to suddenly adapt too. I won't get too bogged down here except for this - I see you. I see your baby. I see your loss and I am so sorry you have to live the rest of your life with that complexity of emotions and longing for your little one. You are an incredible human being and I send you all the virtual love 💜
Nearly six months after our loss, we began trying again. After 5 months and no positive, we turned to IVF. I was aware of my age and I didn't want to wait after we had previously been so lucky with two quick conceptions. The fertility doctor had me do a HyCoSy scan to check my tubes, before we began an IVF cycle. Low and behold, that scan was therapeutic as we become pregnant naturally on my next cycle! We were ecstatic that we didn't even have to begin IVF but also incredibly trepidatious of being pregnant again in general. As part of my stillbirth interventions for pregnancy, I immediately started injecting Clexane (a blood thinner) to avoid any potential clotting issues.
At 8 weeks, I began violently miscarrying at work. Due to the Clexane, there was a huge amount of blood and a lot of very large clots. Over the course of 2½ weeks, I was in and out of hospital every couple of days with extremely heavy bleeding. At the end of that period, I finally passed my baby and had a D&C. Salt to the wound is an understatement. The anger, grief, devastation, guilt, etc., of having to endure another loss after we had already been so awfully robbed, was just horrendous. Our fertility doctor let us know the 1 in 4 figures for miscarriage and that it was likely a chromosomal issue. Great.
Two months later, I had another laparoscopy to remove a small amount of endometriosis. Two months after that, I was injecting hormone stimulants for my first round for an IVF egg retrieval. We got 7 eggs, 4 fertilised, and 2 blastocysts but they could not be biopsied for chromosomal issues unfortunately. Our doctor believes that the low egg count could be endometriosis related, as my egg reserves are average for my age. Frustratingly, our egg transfer was delayed due to the Christmas break, then we had Covid for a second time and it was delayed even further. Finally, we had the transfer - one blastocyst did not survive the thawing process, the other failed to implant.
After reading even more, eating even better than I did before, starting reformer pilates three times a week and taking all the vitamins/supplements (for him too), I recently had another egg retrieval: 6 eggs, 1 fertilised, 1 blastocyst that could not be biopsied. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Here we are, the healthiest we have ever been, no caffeine, no booze and we get such a poor fertilisation rate? It has perplexed the fertility doctor and lab techs. We have talked about interventions for next time (adding calcium to the culture medium), if this little eggo doesn't a) survive the thawing process, b) doesn't implant, c) implants but miscarries, or d) implants but ends up stillborn - I sincerely hope not for those latter two.
So this is where I am currently at - prepping for my second egg transfer that should hopefully happen next week or early the week after. I guess I have written this essay (apologies about that!), to seek any input really - does anything in my story resonate with yours? Tales of hope? The reality of hope being stomped on? Have you been down the IVF path and it didn't work? It's only been two and half years since Number 2 was taken from us and we started this whole journey, but I'm exhausted and feeling a but indifferent about it all. It honestly feels like we have so much more bad outweigh the good, that how on earth could this little eggo even make it?
Thank you for reading and hearing me out. Love to you all ❤️
(I have posted on Baby Loss and IVF subreddits)

Trigger Warning: Stillbirth, miscarriage, IVF
I'll start with the old cliche - long time lurker, first time poster. So thank you to anyone who reads and/or comments, and hopefully my current story may help in some way. I have just added anything that may be relevant.
I'm a 37 year old Australian female, with a history of endometriosis and cysts that ran up and down my the outside of my fallopian tubes. Unfortunately, those cysts started twisting, turning blue and bursting, which caused horrific and debilitating pain. I was in my early 20's when this first started occurring. This led me on a six year journey (unfortunately I encountered a lot of dismissive doctors - 'It's just period pain'), before an incredible gynaecologist organised a laparoscopy for me immediately, and she discovered extensive endometriosis and the cysts. She lanced and burnt her way through like an epic warrior, inserted a Mirena, and my quality of life improved instantly with no complications.
Fast forward to me at 32 and TTC with my partner. Fortunately, it only took us 3 months to see those glorious double lines on a pregnancy test. I had a blissful (and quite ignorant) pregnancy, welcoming our daughter at 39 weeks with an uncomplicated, spontaneous vaginal labour. My daughter was quite light at 2.6kg, but long at 51cm. I remember the midwife inquiring as to whether I smoked whilst looking at the placenta. I used too, but hadn't in 8 years. She shrugged and being that I had just laboured and we had a healthy, albeit light, baby in our arms, we didn't think anything else of it. My daughter thrived and is now a four year old ball of gorgeousness that we are so grateful for.
When Number 1 was about 16 months, we conceived our second child - very quickly might I add! One weekend of fun and the deal was done. Lucky us! Once again, a very unremarkable, straightforward pregnancy. Until it wasn't. At 35.5 weeks, I went to the the hairdresser, returned home and realised I hadn't felt her kick for a while - she was another little girl. Number 2 was much more of a kicker and squirmer than Number 1, so I knew something wasn't right. Later that night at the hospital, those horrendous, life-altering words were said, 'There is no heartbeat'. I delivered her vaginally, a far more physically gruelling and emotional labour than my first. Unfortunately, we have never had any definitive answers as to why there was a partial placenta abruption - her autopsy revealed that she was utterly perfect anyway. She was the same weight and height as her sister at 35.5 weeks. It was discovered that I have a prothrombin mutation that makes my blood a little more prone to clotting. However, we've been told that this condition can either affect pregnancies or not (hence Number 1 doing so well). The strongest theory is that perhaps a clot did disrupt the umbilical cord/placenta, but no one can say for sure with the lack of evidence.
Those of you who are sadly in the baby loss club (but don't want to be of course) will know what that grief journey looks like after the rug has been pulled out from under you and your life splinters into this new world thay you have to suddenly adapt too. I won't get too bogged down here except for this - I see you. I see your baby. I see your loss and I am so sorry you have to live the rest of your life with that complexity of emotions and longing for your little one. You are an incredible human being and I send you all the virtual love 💜
Nearly six months after our loss, we began trying again. After 5 months and no positive, we turned to IVF. I was aware of my age and I didn't want to wait after we had previously been so lucky with two quick conceptions. The fertility doctor had me do a HyCoSy scan to check my tubes, before we began an IVF cycle. Low and behold, that scan was therapeutic as we become pregnant naturally on my next cycle! We were ecstatic that we didn't even have to begin IVF but also incredibly trepidatious of being pregnant again in general. As part of my stillbirth interventions for pregnancy, I immediately started injecting Clexane (a blood thinner) to avoid any potential clotting issues.
At 8 weeks, I began violently miscarrying at work. Due to the Clexane, there was a huge amount of blood and a lot of very large clots. Over the course of 2½ weeks, I was in and out of hospital every couple of days with extremely heavy bleeding. At the end of that period, I finally passed my baby and had a D&C. Salt to the wound is an understatement. The anger, grief, devastation, guilt, etc., of having to endure another loss after we had already been so awfully robbed, was just horrendous. Our fertility doctor let us know the 1 in 4 figures for miscarriage and that it was likely a chromosomal issue. Great.
Two months later, I had another laparoscopy to remove a small amount of endometriosis. Two months after that, I was injecting hormone stimulants for my first round for an IVF egg retrieval. We got 7 eggs, 4 fertilised, and 2 blastocysts but they could not be biopsied for chromosomal issues unfortunately. Our doctor believes that the low egg count could be endometriosis related, as my egg reserves are average for my age. Frustratingly, our egg transfer was delayed due to the Christmas break, then we had Covid for a second time and it was delayed even further. Finally, we had the transfer - one blastocyst did not survive the thawing process, the other failed to implant.
After reading even more, eating even better than I did before, starting reformer pilates three times a week and taking all the vitamins/supplements (for him too), I recently had another egg retrieval: 6 eggs, 1 fertilised, 1 blastocyst that could not be biopsied. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Here we are, the healthiest we have ever been, no caffeine, no booze and we get such a poor fertilisation rate? It has perplexed the fertility doctor and lab techs. We have talked about interventions for next time (adding calcium to the culture medium), if this little eggo doesn't a) survive the thawing process, b) doesn't implant, c) implants but miscarries, or d) implants but ends up stillborn - I sincerely hope not for those latter two.
So this is where I am currently at - prepping for my second egg transfer that should hopefully happen next week or early the week after. I guess I have written this essay (apologies about that!), to seek any input really - does anything in my story resonate with yours? Tales of hope? The reality of hope being stomped on? Have you been down the IVF path and it didn't work? It's only been two and half years since Number 2 was taken from us and we started this whole journey, but I'm exhausted and feeling a but indifferent about it all. It honestly feels like we have so much more bad outweigh the good, that how on earth could this little eggo even make it?
Thank you for reading and hearing me out. Love to you all ❤️
(I have posted on both Baby Loss and IVF subreddits)

Occupation – Government employee
Age – 34
Location – Zimbabwe
My salary – $500 (paid monthly)
Side Gig Income – $0
Other income – negligible amounts from dividends received from my stock portfolio that I re-invest
Housemates – 4 (husband P, 6 year old L, 4 year old E and nanny F. My nephew M is around and makes appearances too)
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Assets and Liabilities
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Equity	$60,000 fully paid off
Retirement Balance	??	I contribute monthly, and employer matches fully. But because of changes in currency and hyperinflation, I don’t really count this as an asset
Savings	$1700	(went down due to travelling trying to get my passport done since it expired)
Current account balance	$660	Includes my mum's money since I'm managing her financial affairs while she's abroad
Loan from employer	$130	I took a personal loan from work, because the interest rates are lower than rate of inflation and repayment is over 18 months. Loan was used to make improvements on our house, and what wasn’t used, I bought shares on our stock exchange, due to hyperinflation, the amount I owe in US$ has gone down
Investments (shares in various counters on our local stock exchanges)	$1,186
Car	$4,000	Based on current resale value. Car was bought secondhand for cash

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Income progression- (https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/vbbb7s/i_live_in_zimbabwe_making_3600year_and_i_just/)
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Expenses
This year, my husband and I decided that he would take on the bulk of our expenses since I do most of the domestic work/childcare. Expenses I pay will be indicated. My salary is now for my expenses, my investments and my savings, and spoiling the kids. Husband caters for the family basics. There was a point last year when I felt my husband wasn’t as invested in the family because he barely did anything financially. By having him cater for all expenses, he is now definitely involved and invested. My husband’s income is just about the same as mine, slightly higher at some times.
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My Expenses

Expense	Amount /period	Note
Car insurance and licensing	$300/annum	This is due in March, and I pay for the entire year
Petrol	$60/month
Electricity	$10/month
Airtime/data	$20/month
Groceries	$60/month	This is for additional groceries such as bread, veg and fruit bought during the month
Kids’ clothes	$40/month	I’m trying to build up their winter wardrobe so I try to buy them something each month
Makeup/clothes/toiletries/ supplements/hair	$30/month	I do not us this much monthly though
Water	$15/month	Based on last bill received in April. We do not get water consistently so bills are infrequent
Donations	$20/month	Ad hoc donations to a soup kitchen, and maternal health fun
Stock market investment	$50/month	May invest more or less, but I do try to buy shares every payday

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Household Expenses (paid by P)
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Expense	Amount /period	Note
Groceries	$200/month	Bulk grocery shopping of staple food items and toiletries
LP Gas	$30/approx. every 2 months	We buy when it runs out. Usually every 2 months depending on how bad the power supply is
Medical	$15/month	For OTC meds (painkiller, cough syrup, antacid stocked for emergencies) and any prescriptions
Pet expenses	$60/ twice a year	For vaccinations and checkups for 4 dogs. Pet food is covered under groceries
School fees for the kids	$347/ term	One kid has fees paid every month, the other every 3 months
Nanny	$80/month	Less than before as both kids are now in school fulltime, and nanny is there to get them ready for school and care after school for 3 hours.
DSTV subscription	$37/month
Transport for kids to/from school	$60/month	L gets picked up and dropped off at home daily, E is dropped off after school

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Previous MDs - (https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/vbbb7s/i_live_in_zimbabwe_making_3600year_and_i_just/) and (https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/yc801g/i_am_33_years_old_and_i_just_graduated_with_my/)
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MD Q&A
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I have a BSc in Accounting, a Masters in Accounting, and a Postgraduate Diploma in Taxation. My parents both have Masters degrees, and in my family, the bare minimum acceptable for education was getting a Bachelors. My mother paid for my undergraduate degree, and I paid cash for my postgraduate studies.
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Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My parents divorced when I was very young. My dad is the wealthier of the two, my mum has always been middle-class. My mum brought me up with very little financial help from my dad, he only covered tuition and healthcare until I turned 18. My mum catered for everything else. My mum taught me how to look for bargains, how to save and invest, and also how to sometimes enjoy your money.
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If you have, when did you move out of your parents'/guardians' house?
I would say I moved out at 26 when I got my current job. I had moved out when I got my first fulltime job, but moved back home when that contract ended
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At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
At 26 again. That's when I earned enough to cover all my bills without needing help. My husband P covers some aspects of my financial life, and my mum occasionally helps out with stuff for her grandchildren.
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What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked as a receptionist at my mum's law firm after finishing my A Levels (age 18) while waiting to start university. My mum gave me the job to keep me occupied and out of mischief, lol.
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Do you worry about money now?
I worry about building generational wealth for my children. I want to make sure they will be set for life as adults. I do worry about money because hyperinflation is eroding my earnings and retirement dramatically. This is my second time losing my retirement. My mum and in laws are losing their retirement for the third time, so honestly our old age looks bleak if we do not invest outside of work pensions.
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Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I receive negligible dividends from the shares I own, lol.
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Day 1
0430 – I’m woken up by loadshedding. I sigh, rollover, and sleep some more
0600 – Alarm goes off. I turn it off, enjoy cuddles from P and finally get out of bed. Our water tanks ran out 4 days ago, and council has not yet deigned to give us water, so we rely on P’s parents and friends to give us water. I get my water that was warming up on the stove, and take a quick bucket bath. I moisturize, do my brows, throw my lace wig on (I cut my hair in January, and I’m at a really awkward stage where my hair looks bad when I wear it out all day) and get dressed. It’s cold in the mornings so I put on winter stockings and a black and white chevron patterned dress, nude ballet pumps plus my warm jacket. I get E from the couch where he was watching Cocomelon and my lunch bag out of the kitchen and we head off to his school. After dropping off E, I go to the office. No electricity means no elevator, so I go up the stairs. I see my boss’s boss and greet him as we do the ZESA (local electricity company) sponsored workout. I log in to the work register, fill up my kettle, and settle down to check out my work email. Nothing urgent came through overnight, so I go into my personal email. The wig company I patronize has given me a code for my birthday, and I’m wondering if I should pull the trigger on my cart. I decide to do a report while thinking this through.
My mum is currently working out of the country, so I am managing her local finances/obligations while she’s away. I remember I have to buy the prepaid electricity token for my childhood home as well as for the house she lives in when she’s working in the country. I spend $23 on electricity for both houses (mum’s money so doesn’t count)
1030 – After doing some firefighting and office gossip I have my breakfast. Today its rice, peas and 2 fried eggs. I sprinkle some peri-peri Aromat on top since I don’t have a sauce/gravy ad I have been craving spicy food lately. I also pop my multivitamin and supplements. I check my team’s work and send back anything that needs correcting. I also generate the multiple reports my boss expects from me. I suddenly remember I need to claim my allowance for performing a role that is higher than my actual position at work. I quickly complete the form, and send it to my boss for his signature. The extra money from this is what I use to fund my stock market investments. I also remind my team to send a report to me for consolidation by noon.
12.00 – I do a major push of all my work due today so I can relax after lunch. I compile my reports and set them ready to send. I also finish my first 2 litres of water of the day, and cue up the next 2 litres
1300 – Its lunchtime, and my work bestie and I head out around town**. I find shorts that L would fit and buy 2 pairs for $10**. We head back to the office and I have caramel popcorn for lunch. Then I remember I forgot to have my afternoon meds, oops. Anyway, more work before heading to an audit meeting
1630 – The audit meeting is finally over, and I rush to shut down my computer, pack up my things and go home. I have an agreement with my manager that as long as I make up for the hour, by either coming early or skipping lunch, I can leave work at 4pm. I had a total hysterectomy end of last year so I still can’t manage driving in heavy traffic. I arrive home, make the bed (P had not made it when he went to work), and harvest chilies from our garden that have ripened. I also harvest a local herb used as a flu remedy and lemongrass, so I can brew up a tea/tisane for the flu affected people in my house. I also pack L’s lunch for tomorrow, a pie, a naartjie and juice. It’s also F’s payday, so I give her US$80 (P gave me this money).
E says he is hungry so I feed him sadza and sour milk by his request. I multitask covering L’s school textbook while supervising his homework and watching Married to Real Estate and the Great British Bake Off. I then have my dinner of sadza, greens and beef. I have a chat with the kids about their day at school. P gets home.
1900 – P and my nephew M go to fetch water from P’s friend’s house. The city council still hasn’t opened up our water supply. I do some French on Duolingo while the boys wreak havoc in their playroom. I read L and E their bedtime stories and put them to bed. I decide to do my hair in cornrows while watching Masterchef Australia. They get home and I help them carry water indoors. I remember that when power comes back I need to boil tripe on the stove, so I cut it up, put it in the pot with water, salt and garlic, and place it on the electric stove. We have serious loadshedding these days, so we have a gas stove and solar power to tide us over. I take a quick bath and change into my pyjamas. While P watches TV, I read Wild Sweet Love by Beverly Jenkins and continue to do my hair in cornrows.
2200 – My arms are tired and I’m only halfway through with the cornrows. I give up and go to bed with P.
Total spent - $10
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Day 2
0600 – I hear crying. E is in a bad mood today. I turn off my alarm, and go to see what’s wrong. E does not want to get dressed for school. I sigh, and help F dress him while he throws a massive tantrum. E is dressed, so I go do my morning routine of shower, moisturize, contact lenses, and eyebrow makeup. Today, I wear a green dress I took from my mum, black tights, nude ballet flats and a black and white coat. E gets put into the car by F, and starts crying for porridge. We are already late, so he learns that the consequence of refusing to eat his porridge on time is to go to school without having his porridge. It’s not a big issue though, as he gets fed at school. So I lock the doors and windows and drive him to school as he throws a tantrum for the entire 10 minute drive. I shove him into the school gate and head to work.
It’s another ZESA sponsored stair workout today. I log into the register, and fill up my kettle with water. I switch on my computer, check my work email and send off client emails to my team for their response. My personal email has an annual report from one of the companies I have shares in so I check out if there’s a dividend this year. I own a negligible number of shares in the company though, but 28c per share is quite impressive. I check to see if my stock exchange wallet has been credited with the money I transferred there so I can buy more shares. It still hasn’t so I send a follow up email o the enquiries desk at the stock exchange. I do have a stockbroker, but I prefer doing my trades myself. I also do some French on Duolingo before 8am.
0830 – Our HR is in a tizzy because people are late for work. I don’t make a big deal out of it usually, because salaries are shit and people are demotivated. As long as my team shows up and does some work, I’m ok. I approve some work, and warn my team about coming in a bit too late. I also tell a teammate that she will have to cover for me on Monday as I am taking the day off. Our internet connectivity is shit so I can’t log into our system to check some stuff. My work bestie gives me avocados from her house. I almost cry because I have been craving avocados, but been too cheap to buy them.
1000 – I have a really bad sore throat. I am also hungry since I haven’t had breakfast yet. I jot down my shopping list for the weekend and head to Pick ‘n’ Pay to buy carrots, green peppers, tomatoes, lemons, cheese, polony and bread. I also buy my breakfast/lunch, which is rice, beans, ox liver and egg salad**. It all cost $10**. I leave my shopping in my car, and go to the office to wolf down my food, and take my multivitamin and painkiller. I also receive my wigs that I bought in May. Perfect timing, as I want to wear a new wig tomorrow for our girls’ day out.
I do some more work, and remind my team to send me the information I need for my daily reports.
1300 – I go out to buy a few items I didn’t find in Pick ‘n’ Pay earlier**. I go to Spar and buy peas, eggs, soft drinks for the outing tomorrow and a sausage roll. Total cost is $10**. The outing has been deemed kid friendly, so I needed drinks for the boys to have tomorrow. I get back into the office, and spend the rest of the lunch hour working.
1600 – It’s finally time to go home. I send my email to handover work issues for the person who will take over my role on Monday while I am on leave. I also send my out of office email, and head home. The kids are at their grandmother’s, so I take a leisurely bath, put on my pyjamas and eat dinner. Then I watch Masterchef Australia until P and E get home. I also get in some French Duolingo practice
2000 – P goes out with his friends, so I snuggle up on the couch with E and watch TV. I put E to bed, read him his bedtime story and kiss him good night. I finally finish season 13 of Masterchef Australia, and move on to My Kitchen Rules Australia. I love Australian reality shows, ngl.
2200 – I go to bed P gets home and tells me some bad news about a friend of ours. I feel very sad for him. He cuddles me and we sleep.
Total spent - $20
​
Day 3
0700 – I wake up feeling like a truck ran me over. I get out of bed, and get ready to hand-wash our laundry. We still have no running water so we can’t use the washing machine. I play music while doing my laundry to keep me motivated
0900 – Laundry has been hung out to dry. F has cooked potato curry, so I boil eggs and water. I have my breakfast of potato curry, egg, multivitamin and coffee. Once I’m done, I give E a bath and dress him. I also bath, moisturize, do my brows and get dressed. I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt today as my friends and I ae supposed to take our kids out for a playdate. Then I receive a message that the outing is cancelled since one of our group is really sick. I try to think of something I can do with E, since L is out having fun with his grandmother. I do my Swahili Duolingo practice.
1100 – The welder comes to do some work on our garage door. I monitor the work for a bit, and then my nephew takes over. E starts really bugging me to go out. So I put on my headband wig and sneakers, and pack a cooler bag with snacks and drinks. We head into town and I buy myself some ciders for $9. These are for me to drink when the mood strikes me. E wants to go to a resort by the lake so I oblige him. We pay $8 for our entrance. He goes to play on the swings, and I take pictures of him having fun. Another family turns up, and one of his classmates is among them. He’s so happy, and goes to play with his friend. I watch him running around.
1500 – I get a call from my friend that she’s in town with my cake. This cake was meant for the cancelled outing. I pack up our stuff, hustle E into the car and drive back into town. I let out some colourful swear words when I realise I forgot to get our change of $2. Anyway**, I meet up with my friend and get the cake, and pay her $30**. It’s so pretty. I call my MIL while still in town to find out what time she will be there so I can pick up L. She says it will be an hour, so E and I head home to drop off the cake so it doesn’t melt in my AC-less car.
1600 – We are back in town waiting for L and MIL. E wants an ice cream so I buy him one for $0.50 using money I had in my Innbucks wallet. MIL calls and asks me to head over to where she is to pick L up since she can’t leave yet. E and I get there. MIL gets me sadza and goat tripe stew, which I eat a bit of to be polite even though I am not hungry. When I’m done, I pack up the kids and drive home. I bath and change into my pyjamas.
1800 – I feed the kids, and we play until their weekend bedtime of 8pm. I read them their bedtime stories and tuck them in. I watch TV and iron my morning laundry while having a gin and juice until 9pm, and head to read in bed. P and my nephew arrive home from their amateur soccer league match and subsequent outing with the boys. I fall asleep soon after.
Total spent - $49.50
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Day 4
0700 – I’m woken up by L demanding that I come and play with them. I am still sleepy so I fob him off.
0900 - F knocks on the door and tells us she is off to church. I finally get out of bed and get dressed. I see the boys playing relatively peacefully so I let them continue with their antics. In the kitchen, I find F had cooked breakfast, and since I’m starving, I heat up water for coffee. L surprisingly isn’t hungry so I serve up breakfast for P and me. I have my daily multivitamin. P heads out to go fetch water, while I bath, change and hang out with the kids. I also do my French Duolingo practice for the day
1200 – I have played with the dogs and kids, and I am exhausted. I collapse onto the couch and watch MKR Australia. P gets home, and naps on the couch. I give the kids haircuts and baths.
1700 – L is hungry and really wants cake, so I feed the kids a dinner of sadza and sour milk. Then some cake for dessert. I also pack L’s school lunch, which will be a polony sandwich, a cupcake and juice. The kids play until its bedtime at 7pm. The usual routine, bedtime stories and tuck in is done
2000 – P and I watch a movie while having some alcoholic drinks.
2200 – Bedtime for us
Total spent - $0
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Day 5
0600 – It’s my birthday today. I am going all out celebrating myself since TW I tried unaliving myself twice in the past year. L wishes me a happy birthday before he goes to school. I get birthday messages from my mum, dad, SILs, and friends. I also get a call from my brother, his wife and their son, and they sing to me. I feel very loved today. P goes to drop off E at school today so I can sleep in
0800 – I am finally up and hungry. I cook a quick breakfast of boiled eggs, and a bean curry. P takes my car to get serviced, while I bath, moisturize, contact lenses, do a full face of makeup and get dressed for the day. Today I wear a tie-dyed cutout mini-dress and sneakers, and my wavy headband wig
1300 – P is home and he drives me to a hotel outside town near a renowned tourist site in our country. We have a platter of fried fish, chicken strips, pork strips, fries, and a salad to share and multiple Savannah Drys while there. It’s really nice getting to reconnect after a very tumultuous year in our marriage. P pays.
1700 – We drive around the area, before heading home. Once we get home, P and my nephew go on a hunt for water, while I feed the kids. P and I head off to take our showers. I remember why I don’t do a full face of makeup when it take a long time to get the makeup off my face.
1900 – The family sings happy birthday, and we eat cake. Birthday gifts were gin and chocolate. I hustle the boys off to bed. No story today, as they went to bed later than usual. P watches TV while I read my novel.
2100 – Bedtime for the grownups
Total spent - $0
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Day 6
0530 – I wake up and lie in bed for a bit. Then I read my novel some more.
0620 – I am up, and take my bath, moisturize, do my brows and get dressed. It’s cold this morning, so I wear a yellow dress with black polka dots, black tights and ankle boots. I pack up the cake I’m giving to my colleagues, as well as my water bottle. E and I head out. I drop E off at school, and go to the office. I log into the work register, turn on my computer, and check my emails. There are a few pressing issues I need to get up to speed with. One of my colleagues gives me $50 as a birthday gift. I also hand out the cake to my team.
0900 – Work is pretty quiet today, so I update my MD. I also receive news that one of my nephews is getting married. He is not that much younger than me, and could be my younger brother, but it makes me feel so old.
Note on my family: In our culture, even distant relatives are given close relationships so the large number of nephews/nieces is from those relationships. It’s a big thing done to maintain close family bonds. I have 4 actual (in a Western sense) nephews and nieces who are all under the age of 6.
1000 – I head to the supermarket and buy bread, onions, carrots, pork chops, pork trotters and my breakfast and lunch. This costs $25. The meat is the main cost driver here. I have a sausage roll, my multivitamin, supplement and milk for breakfast. I remember that I need to check if my stock exchange wallet was credited, ugh. The website is refusing to load and I’m very frustrated. I finally log in and see the amount is still not credited. I email and send a tweet to the stock exchange. Hopefully the tweet will get them to start moving.
1200 – My boss is mad. One member of my team left his desk without informing me and there’s an urgent matter. I was about to go downstairs to give P the groceries, so I stick around for a bit before committing the same offence as my subordinate, lol. I quickly get back into my office and check on work, sign some papers and letters, and clear out my emails.
1300 – My work bestie has to run other errands at lunch so I decide to stay in the office. I check my personal email and see I have received a dividend of $0.27, lol. The share price will probably drop soon, so I will buy more shares in this counter if I can get them to increase my shareholding. My goal for this year is to breach the 10,000 share mark for one counter. I suddenly remember I have work to do, so I use my lunch hour to do the work, and then take a quick break to eat my lunch of fries and a sausage and do some Swahili Duolingo practice.
1500 – I am thinking of going home when one of my team members calls me to deal with an angry client. I go to the office, and find out it’s a surprise birthday party from my team. I am so happy, lol. We have more cake, and there’s also fruit and juice. I head home feeling so appreciated with even more cake.
1700 – P and my nephew go out to get water. I warm up my bath water, and give the kids their dinner. Today its rice and croc meat. I make L’s lunch for tomorrow, a toasted polony sandwich and juice. I also pack my lunch, rice, a fried egg and peas. And some cake for my work bestie’s kids. I take my bath; change into my pyjamas and hound E to eat his food. If we let that kid be, he would probably live on the bits of our souls he sucks out daily by being stubborn. I am feeling nauseous so I have plain rice with a bit of avocado. The kids watch cartoons, while I do some more Swahili on Duolingo.
1900 – Bedtime for the kids. Today, there’s no demand for a bedtime story, so I just tuck them in and tell them I love them. I read my novel as increasingly feel more nauseated. I end up going to hurl my guts out. P comes home and finds me lying limply on the bed. He gives me a cuddle, and goes to eat his dinner. I get up but smell fish, and run back to throw up. If I hadn’t had a hysterectomy, I would be doing a pregnancy test ASAP.
2100 – I go to bed, and lie in bed for a bit, before finally drifting off.
Total spent - $25
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Day 7
0500 – I wake up feeling nauseated again. Ugh, this reminds me of having hyperemesis while pregnant. I put my water on to heat and get back in bed to read some more.
0600 – E comes to lie on our bed. I get out of bed, and go throw up. I get my bath water, take my bath, moisturize and put my contacts in. I look like a reanimated corpse this morning. I do my brows to try bring a bit of life to my face and get dressed. It’s very misty and cold today so I put on warm brown tights, a long black dress, my warm jacket and ballet flats. I grab my lunch and the cake, pop E into the car and head out. Visibility is extremely low, so I drive slowly. I don’t know why people like surprising other drivers by having their cars pop out of the mist without switching on their headlights. I successfully avoid the drivers who hate life and drop E off at school before heading to work.
0700 – I am in the office, and I log into the register, before turning on my computer and checking my work email. Not too much in there, so I check my personal email. My stock exchange wallet has finally been credited with the $100. I also ponder whether I should pull the trigger on a V-part wig.
I do my weekly report, and start doing some boring work in the system. I realise I didn’t save the work I did yesterday, so I have to re-do it, so I can have the list of error messages to send to ICT.
0830 – Everyone is in the office, so I do some reshuffling of duties, so that essential areas are covered while one of my colleagues is on leave. I give the cake to work bestie, who tells me how much her daughter was excited over the cake yesterday. It’s now time for me to put my head down and really focus on knocking out the system work today. I also log into an online training, and I listen while doing my work. My mum also deposits money for my birthday gift and to spoil her grandkids.
1000 – I log into my stock exchange account and buy shares for $99.14 (doesn’t count as spending, as the money was moved before the MD started). The deadline for other departments to submit their weekly reports to me for consolidation has passed so I start following up. One department is a big problem as they always send their report late. Le sigh. I draft a very passive aggressive email to them. I also decide not to buy the wig and instead ask the person making me my custom earrings that I got myself for my birthday to bill me the rest of the money so I can pay and move the remainder of the money in my account into savings. Our currency has taken an enormous hit in the last week, and is free falling dramatically. I’d rather keep USD cash than money in my account at this point. The training finally ends.
1100 – I’m getting hungry so I go warm up my lunch, sprinkle on peri peri Aromat and dig in. Yum. I also have my multivitamin and supplement. A lady who sells local snacks comes in. She persuades me to buy maputi (corn nuts mixed with roasted peanuts) for $0.50. I buy them for my afternoon snack. I end up sending the report with missing statistics, and tell the department to send directly to the compiler, as they were late. That was a very aggressive email tbh. I’m still hungry, so I munch on my maputi, leaving the peanuts because I don’t feel like eating them lately.
1200 – I see a missed call from a number I don’t know. I call and it turns out they had sent money to my mobile wallet mistakenly. I check the mobile wallet and it shows it had an extra $11. I send the money back to the person. Times are too tough to keep people’s money
1400 – I snack on a few skittles instead of having more food. I just want something to entertain my mouth, I’m not hungry at all. I review more work and drink more water. The jeweler has sent the payment request for the earrings. I pay $100 (total spent on the earrings comes to $200, which is worth it for sterling silver custom made Jewellery. I use $50 of the birthday money from my mum to cover for part of this expense)
1600 – Finally time to go home. I shut down my computer, and drive home. Once I’m home, I put on my bath water, and help L do his homework. Then I do some Swahili Duolingo practice and pack L’s lunch for tomorrow. He requested maize (corn on the cob), a boiled egg and a naartjie. His wish is my command for once. I also pack my lunch, a boiled egg, peanut butter sandwich and a bit of birthday cake. The jeweler sends pictures of the final product. They are absolutely gorgeous. Happy 34th birthday to me!!!
1800 – I serve the kids their dinner, and go to take my bath. P sends a text that he will be home late as they are working late today. I have my own dinner while persuading E to eat his food
1900 – Bedtime for the kids. I read them their bedtime stories, tuck them in and tell them I love them. Then I go to watch TV. I’m catching up on Married to Real Estate, Food Factory and Man Vs Food. You can tell that reality TV is my jam.
2100 – I decide to have some decaf black coffee and cake as my bedtime snack. P and my nephew arrive home. They are later than they thought they would be because nephew dropped his phone in the middle of the highway and they were searching for it. Because nephew’s ancestors were on the job, they found it intact. It’s a big deal because this is a major highway and huge trucks use that road constantly. I chat with P as he has his dinner and takes his bath.
2200 – Cuddles and bedtime for us
​
Total spent today – $100
​
Total spent this week – $204.50
​
Spending by categories
Food & Drink – $84.50
Home & Health – $0
Clothing & Beauty – $110
Transportation – $0
Fun & Entertainment – $10
​
Reflections on this week’s spending
The spending is pretty much about normal for me tbh (excluding the cake and earrings). I had quite a bit of petrol in the tank so I didn’t need to top up my tank this week. The converted US$ prices are a bit inaccurate since our currency had a big drop this week, and most of my spending is in local currency. I could reign in my spending a bit, and focus more on investing. However, I do enjoy using my money to bring joy to my kids and myself. Particularly myself after the absolutely shitty year I had.

Race Information

• Name: Boston Marathon
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Time: 2:40:XX

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Under 2:42 (PR)	Yes
B	Under 2:45	Yes
C	Finish strong	Yes

This is a bit late for a Boston recap and very long for a casual read (consider yourself warned). It’s kind-of about the race, but it’s also just a bunch of semi-connected thoughts and feelings about training, injury, results, and what comes next that have been floating around for me over the last couple months.

Prologue

I started running during the pandemic, transitioning away from my long-time sport of Ultimate Frisbee to try to run a sub-5 mile (report here). I did it, and it was good. And I had caught the running bug. Ready to extend my distances, I declared to my coach that my next goal (after a short hiatus to play one more season of frisbee) was to qualify for Boston. Boston was, in fact, the only marathon I had ever spectated: I remember sitting at Coolidge Corner in 2009, watching runners speed by. I was young and springy then, and had no desire to run farther than 3 miles continuously. But now it was 2021, and time had run out on my fast-twitch abilities: it was time to go long. I wanted to run Boston, which meant I had to run something else - and hopefully just one “something else” - first.
We decided to target Eugene for 2022, to qualify for Boston in 2023. I began building up my base in the fall, testing my weekly mileage limits. I remember a “long run” of 70 minutes the first Sunday after I returned to regular running. I nearly gave up and walked 60 minutes in. But the next Sunday I did 80 minutes, and it was better. By the end of the fall, I was comfortably hitting 50 mpw and 2 hour runs. By the time Eugene came around, I had sixteen weeks of generally healthy training and six 20+ mile runs in my legs. felt ready, and I was: I ran a 2:42. I was a freshly minted 36 at the time, so with the BQ time for my age group and gender at 3:05, I was firmly in the clear.
I'll pause here to say that although I am far from an elite runner, I am also keenly aware that many people work their asses off for years to qualify for Boston, and that some never do. I worked hard, too, and my history of sports can’t have hurt, but at the end of the day I know I have some (unearned) talent for running that made my path to Hopkinton easier than it is for many. I will leave it here in saying that I have immense respect for everyone who laces up and puts in the work, regardless of their pace and outcome.

The Build

After Eugene, I had turned my attention away from the roads for about six months. I put the bank of fitness I had developed to work on trails and on mountains. I got to cover (and bonk on) a few of the many thrilling backcountry objectives in British Columbia, and even ran a 50k in Washington. (It went about as well as most people’s first 50k, which is to say that I ran out of food, water, fully supermanned down a trail, cramped every muscle in my lower body, and shuffled it in. Huge success.) But when December came around, it was time to get back to the roads.
Working with the same coach, my road fitness came back surprisingly quickly. I was hitting high-water marks for volume, pushing my average up to the high 60s/low 70s. I felt, well, not good, but I did feel fast. I remember hammering out a 30 minute tempo on the track at 5:41/mi, a workout I never would have been capable of during the Eugene build. I was tired after, but confident and elated. I got compliments from the youngsters rolling 600 repeats around the track, and their coach. I felt like I was on track for a new PR, and not just a PR but a crushingly fast time, maybe somewhere in the mid 2:30s. But somewhere, offscreen, ominous music played. I had my wings on, and I was headed towards the sun.
The sun took the form of a work trip to Bozeman. I flew over Thursday, found a gym to do a tough 60 minute “mountain fitness” workout that evening, ran for an hour Friday morning in the snow, and skate skied 2.5 hours hard on Saturday. Sunday morning, I took on a treadmill workout that was something like 7x(7 min @ 5:41/mi, 2 min off). After two intervals, I knew I didn’t have it. I stepped off the treadmill. I’ve failed workouts in the past, and I’ve been able to move on, but for some reason this one stuck. It stuck, as they say in the South in my craw. Annoyed, I went back to my hotel room and tried to regroup. With my muscles already starting to tighten up with the effort, I resolved to partially salvage the day with an easy run around town. But it didn’t feel like I had salvaged anything. So, after an 8-hour, two hopper flight home, I made another attempt to soothe my bruised ego. With night falling, I hit the pavement, starting out easy but picking up speed. Tired, tight, and without any food or water, I hammered away, deep in the no-man’s land of Zone 3. I had heard the warnings. I paid no heed. I was invincible, and I was going to reclaim the fitness I had missed out on that morning. I ran the distance of a half marathon and got home after dark, and you know what? It felt good, at the time. It felt

The Injury

The next morning, I woke up in a pile of melted wings. My left leg couldn’t take any weight without shooting pain and was tender to the touch around my mid-shin. I felt the dubious benefit of immediate and regretful clarity on what had gone wrong. My ego had let me believe that I could or should try nail a workout on a foreign treadmill at altitude (Bozeman!) after an exhausting couple of days. Failing that, it had convinced me that I should make up the workout with a long, unfueled run. Ego is a hell of drug.
It took several days for me to accept that I was injured. Looking back on my training log, it seems insane, but I ran the next few days on my program, including a track workout. My leg would throb and ache, but I would get through it, only to wake up in more pain that would abate just enough for me to try it out again that afternoon. Eventually, I fessed up to my coach and she immediately sent me to a PT and had me stop running for a week. I thought this was excessive at the time, but in retrospect I think it might have saved the build. The PT I saw said I had a stress reaction, probably brought on by a combination of weak glutes (it’s always the glutes) changing my push off and some good old-fashioned overdoing it.
For the next month, I cross trained with uphill biking, skate skiing, and water jogging. We re-introduced running gradually, starting with once every three days, then every other day, then two out of three days. The shin seemed to get better slowly, and we gradually reached a kind of homeostasis: I knew how far I could push it, and as long as I didn’t overdo it, it seemed to recover slightly faster every time. But the injury had come at a bad time, and missing most of February meant that I couldn’t race the local half marathon I had planned on or a local trail race (though I still participated in them as long runs).
By mid-March, I was feeling mostly better. In addition to Boston, I had also signed up for Chuckanut 50k, a trail ultra renowned for its smooth runnable trails and its timing: it often drew some of the elites of US trail running as an early season opener. I didn’t feel quite ready to hammer the downhills, but if anything, limiting myself kept my quads intact almost through the end of the race. I didn’t tear the roof off, but I ran most of the way and felt pretty good doing it. When I woke up the next day with the usual soreness, but no acute pain in my shin, I knew I was going to finish the build and run an honest race at Boston.
The only problem was that a week’s recovery brought me to March 24: only about three weeks before Boston. With a weeklong taper, shorter than usual by necessity, we really only had two weeks to get into Boston shape. My coach put on a masterclass in programming: she designed workouts that required exactly as much as I could give at the time, while preparing me for the unique qualities of the Boston experience and course. One in particular stands out: 4x(15 min MP effort, 8 min T effort, 4 min jog), but on a route that included a 300-foot hill, which I ended up going up and down 3 times. The key was to maintain effort going uphill, but to not go any faster than 6:10/mile downhill. That and another long run gave me two 20+ milers in the books. That was it.
Going into Boston, I knew I didn’t have the sharpness I had even three months ago. I had started the cycle hoping to PR, maybe by a lot, but before the marathon I set more conservative goals: my C goal was to get to 20 miles (where my mom would be) feeling strong; my B goal was to get under 2:45. My A goal was to PR. I wasn’t feeling brave: I wanted to minimize the possibility of blowing up, while still giving myself a fighting chance at a one-second PR if I was having a really good day.

The Marathon

There’s not much to say about Boston (the marathon) that readers here haven’t read before. The logistics are impeccable, but overwhelming for a first-timer, the fanfare and the fans are legendary, and the course is the running world’s version of the Strait of Messina: athletes must navigate Scylla’s ego-tempting downhills and Charybdis’ ill-timed uphills to survive. While it is literally impossible to make it to the Boston marathon start line without having at least one hundred people tell you to not hammer the downhill at the start, people still do it every single year.
In a way, I was lucky have reckoned with (and lost to) my ego early in the build. I came to Boston healthy but wary of too much self-belief. We set a target and hard limit on the pace I would set through the first 15k: 6:15s would be ideal, but at most 6:10s: I wouldn’t run faster than I had down my training hill. At the start line, a small inspiration struck. Boston sets bib numbers by qualifying time, and my 2:42 at Eugene gave me something in the 1100s. Within my corral, I found the people around my number and then walked about 30 meters back, placing myself closer to folks wearing 1500s. I reasoned that if most people overcooked the start, then I wanted to be with the folks overcooking it at a pace I could be comfortable with.
Once the race started, it was virtually impossible, for the first couple miles or so, to shift my pace much above or below what the people around me wanted to run. If thought at first that I had let myself sit too far back: I ran a 6:35 first mile down the two-lane streets of Hopkinton. But as the crowds thinned a bit, I found a rhythm, and clicked off my first 5k at around 19:14, around a 6:12/mile pace. The next 5k, still downhill but slightly less, was a 19:12. The third was 19:13. Rolling through the small towns that make up the western side of the Boston metro area, I didn’t feel good, exactly, but I also didn’t feel bad. I wasn’t sure what kind of day I was having. That’s the odd thing about the marathon, so far as I can tell: you might know you’re having a bad day early on, but deciding that you’re having a good day is inviting disaster.
A quick aside: it can’t be overstated how impressive the Boston crowds are. There was no point on the course that I can remember where we were without support for more than 25 meters. Wellesley and Boston University are extreme even in that context, though: you actually feel the roar at those points in the course before you hear or see it. Bless you, you drunk and joyful undergraduates.
By 25k, we were through half and quickly approaching the Newton Hills. After a long downhill, we turned at the fire station and started to charge up. I shortened my stride and began to pump my arms, lifting my effort from a 6 to a 7 but no higher. I didn’t look at my watch until the end of the first hill, so you can imagine my shock when I saw that the last mile had been a 6:06. I cruised the lengthy downhill after the first hill (nobody really tells you about those) and regained my composure. The second hill was punchier, and brought me down to a 6:10, but I still felt good, and was starting to pass quite a few people. The third hill was mostly forgettable, which left only Heartbreak. While not objectively a big hill, it’s big enough for that point in a marathon, and you definitely see it coming. I was determined to hold my early race pace through it, though, and pushed the effort up again. I was breathing hard, but I got to the top still holding a 6:11 pace.
Even at the top of Heartbreak, I wasn’t fully ready to believe that this was going to be a really good day. I’m told that much better runners have lost entire races in the so-called “haunted” mile following Heartbreak, and I wasn’t sure what my quads had left in the tank. But while it still didn’t feel good, I kept pouring in gas and they kept responding. The last few miles of the race are a bit of a blur: I remember pushing the pace down to 6:06, then 6:00, then even below 6:00 for a mile or so. There are a couple very short and punchy climbs just before the last turns that took something out of me, but by the time I turned left on Boylston I knew I had more than the balance left over. I started sprinting at the turn, only to realize that the 600 meter long stretch was a bit more than I had bargained for. Still, I closed respectably: I ran last mile was a 5:41, exactly what I had worked on maintaining in that early tempo workout.
I finished in 2:40:XX and negative split by about 2 minutes. It poured like crazy 15 minutes after, while I huddled under a restaurant awning. I watched other runners come in. Some, like me, had the elation of a good day to soothe their tired muscles and joints. Some had no such balm, and were left to untangle the end of a long, challenging cycle from a disappointing final result. I was reminded, too, that it’s all relative: as I sat under the awning, I heard a runner near me lament his 2:35, while another came in over the moon with his 3:15. Kipchoge had a bad day, and he finished more than half an hour before I did. We are comparison machines, and expectations versus reality is the oldest routine we know.

Epilogue

The marathon is a harsh race, and I feel genuinely lucky to have had good experiences on my attempts so far. Two months on though, my body still feels beat up: I’m struggling to recover, my knees ache, and my workouts seem to be going the wrong direction. I don’t think I gave my recovery the respect it deserved, so I am once again tangling with my own hubris.
Assuming I can rest enough to properly recover, I also find myself in the position of figuring out what’s next. Boston was a big goal for me, and I didn’t set any real running objectives after it. All I have on my schedule this summer is a couple of local trail and road races. I thought Boston would be my last marathon before I moved entirely to the more forgiving pastures of trail running, but I’m also tempted to see how far I can push the needle on my road running before age claws my aerobic fitness back from me. I’m 37 now, and well aware that at some point the PRs will no longer be on the table, but I think that day is still a few years off. If you were me, what would you aim for next?

The pool halls near me are meh in terms of tables and too expensive to go to for serious practice multiple times a week. They cater more to locals who just want a night out and to drink every so often and that's understandable if it makes the most money for them. With housing prices the way they are I'm not sure I would ever be able to own a big enough place to have my own 9' table. So my next thought was some sort of private club. Something like 20-30 members, $100-$200 / month, 4 - 6 tables, 24/7 access, scheduled private time each week where players can have a table to practice on (Ex: Bob - Mon/Wed/Fri/ 5 pm - 7 pm on Table 2, people just bring their own food. Has anyone organized or been a part of something like this? How did it work out?

This got excessively long, sorry.
I mentioned it here before I left, but I did the Camino de Santiago! I walked from St. Jean Pied-de-Port in France to Santiago de Compostela. Took me about 37 days. I walked about 780km/490miles.
First: It was an amazing experience. Lots of highs and lows, lots of amazing scenery, lots of amazing people, lots of amazing food and wine. If you're thinking of going: do it, if at all possible. At least once a day (usually more) I had a moment of thinking: I cannot believe I get to be here. I cannot believe I get to do this!
I mean, I also got blisters (repeatedly), lost a toenail (possibly two, we'll see), I had a panic over where I was going to sleep that night a few times, the hostels had hard beds and were full of people who snored and people who kept closing the windows no matter how stuffy/hot it was, I've been home a week and I'm still sometimes stiff when I get up after sitting for a while...but it was worth it and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
Secondly: while I really appreciated being able to go to Catholic masses at least twice a week and some of them were very moving, boy did it reinforce that I am Episcopalian and not Roman Catholic. The Vibe is just different. It's entirely possible that some of this is just the way Catholicism is done in Spain or even just that part of Spain, but even Sunday mass seemed...kinda perfunctory a lot of the time? I was surprised at how often they skipped the creed entirely, for instance. Communion was sometimes just put in a bowl that was passed around, and was only ever in one form--the priest drank some wine, but nobody else did. And we almost never sang?! I think there was maybe three times we did more than just a few alleluias before the gospel reading. Almost all of them did a pilgrims' blessing after the service, and the priests varied a LOT in how enthusiastic they were about this. Some just ended the service by reading it off at everyone there, some called us up afterward to ask where we were all from and make sure everyone heard or read the prayer in a language they knew. A Franciscan gave us all small stones with a yellow arrow hand-painted on them (he also preached a great sermon, based on what little English he spoke and what little Spanish I understood, as he went back and forth between languages). A group of nuns gave us colorful paper stars they'd cut out while praying for us. On the other hand, there were two churches where after the service, we got lectured on how the RC church is the only TRUE church of Jesus Christ. At one of them the priest specifically tried to convert me and a lovely retired gentleman who is CofE by telling us only the RC church had real apostolic succession, and I made eye contact with the CofE gent and we both nearly laughed. Oops. (The priest only spoke Spanish and was telling us this through a translator, which is probably a blessing because otherwise I don't know if I could've resisted replying with "Well we're both gay and don't think that's a sin, so I don't think you want us.")
(I did have a print-out of the mass in Spanish and English next to each other that I'd taped into my journal so I could follow along, which means I have learned some Spanish that is useless in daily conversation, lol. I also would pull up the readings for the RC lectionary in English on my phone--and there was multiple times I looked around and other pilgrims were doing the same. In related news: their daily readings are much shorter than the ones in our daily office lectionary!)
Thirdly, and possibly ironic considering my last point, I found that praying the rosary while walking (usually via a recording since I walked with trekking poles lol) was really meditative. I also found that when I was having a hard time walking (because it was hot, because my feet hurt, because I was tired, because I was lonely) it was useful to me to pray a decade of the rosary for other people? I would think of someone I cared about, then go into the Our Father etc, counting off the Hail Marys with my fingers; then think of another person, repeat. This had the positive side effect of loosening my death grip on my trekking poles and preventing numbness in my hands! It's funny that I started doing it as a way of distracting myself when I was not enjoying my walk, but when I look back some of my most spiritual moments were those times I was alone and sweaty and my feet were killing me, because I spent that time talking to God about (and asking the Virgin Mary to pray for) people I cared about. I also prayed for a few people I met on the Camino that I found personally unpleasant. This made it easier to be gracious with them when we were inevitably seated together at dinner another day. I should probably learn something from that, lol.
At churches doing daily mass in the evenings, they often did the rosary a half an hour before that. There was a couple of times that the people there (nearly always a handful of middle-aged and elderly Spanish women) were benignly confused by my presence until they saw the beads in my hand and my well-worn leaflet with directions and illustrations of the sets of mysteries. (I still can't say any of the prayers in Spanish, but at least I can usually tell which one they're doing!)
Third: there's an Anglican church and mission in Santiago! I was in Santiago for Pentecost, and while yes of course I went to mass at the cathedral (no huge incense swinging, alas) I also went to the tiny Eucharist at the Anglican mission--I think there was eight of us total including the priest, who was an American woman. But it was such a comfort to hear and say the words of liturgy that I know by heart. (And see a woman priest!) Her sermon connected the wind at Pentecost to the stream of pilgrims walking into the square in front of the cathedral, and noted that despite our different languages, we pilgrims understand each other's joy upon reaching Santiago.
The mission recently bought a pension (a bit like a small hotel or bed and breakfast) and I *think* they're accepting guests. I'm hoping that within the next few years I can spend some time volunteering there--I stayed in many hostels run by volunteers (sometimes locals, sometimes a church and/or nuns, sometimes another country's confraternity of St. James) and they were often my fave places to stay. More info on the mission: https://www.anglicancentresantiago.org/
Fourth: I saw a ton of really old, really gorgeous churches. It sometimes seemed like every tiny village had a startlingly beautiful church (of the ones that were open--some were only open for mass on Sundays, or twice a month, or not at all). I think the oldest one I visited was the Church of Saint Mary of Eunate from the 12th century, but many churches had bits and pieces that were that old or older. My fave church was the Cathedral in Leon (built in the 13th century), which I paid to get into twice (they kicked us out for siesta) because it was so beautiful I kept crying. The stained glass is just spectacular, but honestly everything about it is gorgeous--the cloisters had a series of fresco paintings from (I think) the 1500's of events from the Gospels and Acts that were natural in expression.
The Leon cathedral had amazing wooden carvings in the choir--every seat has a carving of a person from the bible. Praying the daily office paid off unexpectedly: I recognized Saint Simeon, not from the Latin version of his name, or the fact that he was shown holding an infant Jesus, but because the gold lettering around his head started "nunc dimittus..." I could hear the Evening at the Office recording in my head: "Lord, you now have set your servant free, to go in peace as you have promised; For these eyes of mine have seen the savior, whom you have prepared for all the world to see; A Light to enlighten the nations, and the glory of your people Israel."
Fifth: So, St. James the Apostle. He's alllllll over the Camino, for obvious reasons. So many statues and paintings, from cute cartoony images in logos of local businesses, to heavily-gilded statues in many churches. I admit to being amused at how often he was portrayed as an older man with a beard, because he was (famously!) the first Apostle to be martyred--beheaded by a sword on Herod's orders in the book of Acts. He was mostly portrayed as a pilgrim--a pilgrim's cloak, hat with scallop shell, a walking staff and drinking gourd. In a few churches, he was also portrayed as The Moor-Slayer--on horseback with a sword, about to take off someone else's head. St. James the Pilgrim felt like a friend, St. James the Moor-Slayer definitely did not. St James did not, while alive, kill anyone that I'm aware of; but he's the patron saint of Spain in part because of his miraculous help in a battle against the Moors that historians are pretty sure never happened.
A lot of the legends about St. James in Spain are...unlikely. There's just too many instances of "funny how nobody discovered this/thought to write this down until three hundred years later, when it was useful for the church/the current king."
Which means that I've personally spent a lot of time pointing out to people that while it's doubtful his actual bones are in the cathedral at Santiago, it doesn't really matter--so many people have made genuine pilgrimage to Santiago to venerate him that the place has *become* sacred to St. James, y'know?
But speaking of the cathedral of Santiago de Compostela, there's a fascinating contrast between the altar, with its multiple statues of St. James and an insanely over-the-top gold retablo and huge baby-faced angels holding up a gold platform, upon which is an statue of St. James about to slaughter someone; with the actual place under the altar where his supposed relics are kept. You'd miss the way to the relics if it weren't for the line of people. There's a small metal sign saying "entrada" above a humble stone stairway down to a narrow, low-ceilinged space, where there's a couple of steps in front of a metal grille and about five feet between you and a small altar with a fancy silver box on it.
When I went into the cathedral the day I arrived in Santiago there was barely a line, so within a few seconds I was in front of that box. Other people had pushed things through the grille: rosaries, bits of paper with prayers on them.
And there's no way around it: I had a moment of profound awe and gratitude while I was there, along with a sensation of Presence, a feeling best described as "Oh god, what if he's really in there." People were snapping cell phone pics and walking past me as I knelt and tried to just let myself sit in that Presence. But I was also self-conscious of how few people fit in that space and other people wanting a turn, so I left within a minute or two. I went to a side chapel that was open for Eucharistic Adoration, and not knowing what else to do, I prayed the rosary and did the evening Office.
I went back the next day, after the early morning mass. I read to myself the prayer that was in my credencial (which is originally from a pilgrims' guide written in the 12th century), but I changed it all to the past tense and a prayer of thanks:
O God, who brought your servant Abraham out of the land of the Chaldeans, protecting him in his wanderings, and who guided the Hebrew people across the desert, we ask that you watch over us, your servants, as we walk in the love of your name to Santiago de Compostela.Be for us our companion on the walk,Our guide at the crossroads,Our breath in our weariness,Our protection in danger,Our albergue on the Camino,Our shade in the heat,Our light in the darkness,Our consolation in our discouragements,And our strength in our intentions.So that with your guidance we may arrive safe and sound at the end of the Road and enrichedwith grace and virtue we return safely to our homes filled with joy.In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
(This isn't the exact version printed in my credencial, but I'm at work and don't have it in front of me.)

Today I had a shift at the job of my dreams, I exercised, I did my side hustle, I ate right, drank water, took an exam, showered, and finished my complete nighttime routine. My amazing boyfriend told me he was so proud of me. My skin is clear. A year ago today I’d be shocked if i could even make it out of bed, much less go to bed sober. Everyone struggling right now, there’s a light at the end. I never could imagine being as consistent and productive as I am now a year ago, even two years ago. I struggled to keep up with hygiene and daily tasks, struggled at my job, blew through a ton of my savings on clubs and shopping, drank myself to sleep every night, and couldn’t make it through the day without at least 10 hours of sleep plus a nap in the middle of the day. I was eating poorly and felt ugly and hungover every day. I gained 40 lbs since covid started. Believe me, i am nowhere near where i want to be in life, but my progress is there, and it started with celebrating the little things, like brushing my teeth and showering or drinking a glass of water. I also relapse into my old lifestyle, some days i spend a whole day in bed eating junk food and watching tiktok. But at least it isn’t every day now.

Three New Terrifying True Scary Tales
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Number One: The Pool
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Now, this happened a very long time ago. I am not going to mention when or where though and I am submitting it anonymously. I don’t want people going back and finding out more about it and then lashing out of me.
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I was 13 years old and my brother was 11. As I mentioned, this happened a long time ago and I think today, not a lot of parents would put a 13 year old in charge of an 11 year old. But this was not unusual at all back then. In fact, I was looking after my little brother all the time before either of us even hit 10 years old.
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After a while, of course, always keeping my eye on him began to get very annoying. It interfered with my hanging out with friends. It was quite a drag when I would try to talk to girls. It was just a pain in the ass, really.
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Anyway, one day during a really hot summer, our parents decided to drop us both off at the local swimming pool for the day. My dad had to work and my mom had errands and stuff to run plus work do to do for the church. It was so hot and there was no way we could afford air conditioning. We had one old fan in the house and a sprinkler in the yard that we could go play in. But the swimming pool was the much better option.
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Of course the pool was very crowded. Lots of families would drop their kids off there during the summertime. And of course, even though I knew it already, my mom stressed to me, “Keep an eye on your little brother at all times.”
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Some of my friends were at the pool too. I got to talking to them and they told me about this new girl who moved into town. She would be starting school that fall and supposedly she was really hot. So of course, I wanted to check her out. I knew the lifeguards would be watching my brother in the water, so he would be fine.
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I went with the guys and the girl was really cute. My buddies all dared me to approach her, which was admittedly a brave thing for a 13 year old boy to do. Of course, I couldn’t chicken out in front of them, so I did just that.
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She was a very sweet girl. We actually ended up talking for a little while. Her parents were at the pool though, and they called her back after too long. So I went back to the water to see how my little brother was doing.
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The only problem was that I couldn’t see him anywhere in the water. This was a small town in a rural area, so although I said the pool was crowded, it wasn’t like a water park is crowded though. I should have easily been able to pick him out of the water. He just wasn’t there.
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I went and searched around the area surrounding the pool and didn’t see him there either. My heart started beating faster and I began panicking. I went to the building where the showers and concession stand were. He wasn’t there either. You couldn’t leave that pool without going through that building, though. I asked the attendant if a 11 year old boy had left the pool on his own in the previous hour and he told me no.
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I then went to the lifeguards and my buddies. I thought maybe there was a chance that I had missed him. It’s easy to occasionally miss someone in a crowd. The lifeguards ordered everyone out of the pool. Fortunately, there were no drowned children in the pool. Unfortunately, my brother was nowhere to be found outside of the pool.
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The lifeguards had to call my mother at the church. I had never before lost track of my little brother like this before. I had no idea what to expect when she showed up. I was only thankful that the police were already at the pool or she probably would have whipped my ass right there in front of the entire pool.
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The trouble I got into at home isn’t something that I want to go into very much. My butt very much has PTSD from the experience. But that was minor compared to the fear I felt for my little brother. Hell, I didn’t even have time to feel guilty although that I knew that I was. I was only concerned for him and wondered what would happen.
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All day and night, I expected the police to bring him home. But that didn’t happen. I expected it the next day too. But it didn’t happen.
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The town organized a search to look for him. I kept expecting to hear from them that they had found him. But that didn’t happen either.
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After about a week of my brother not being found, I began fearing for the worst. I began thinking that he was dead. And I was terrified every waking moment of my life, expecting to absolutely hear the news that his dead body was found.
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Nearly two weeks after the disappearance, we got a phone call from the police. They had found my brother and thankfully, he was alive. But unfortunately, that’s not the whole story.
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Remember the attendant telling me that no boy had left on his own? Well that’s because the boy left with one of the lifeguards who was getting off duty. He had lured my brother out of the pool and into his car with promises of ice cream, something he and I rarely ever got. And my brother went to his house with him.
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For all of that time, he kept my little brother locked up in his basement. He didn’t do anything sexually to him, thank God. But there was a lot of mental and some physical torment when my brother wouldn’t do what he was told to you. But the scariest part for him was thinking he would never get out and be with his family again.
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Here is another weird part. The lifeguard wasn’t an adult. He did this while his parents were out of town for a few weeks. They came back early and caught him. And if you think I felt bad for my parents’ punishing me, what they did to him had to be legendary. The police thought he was either planning on killing or releasing my brother before his parents got home. But no one ever knew for sure.
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He had to live with it without much help for a long time. Mental health assistance had a very bad stigma back then. But we’re both still alive today and he forgave me a long time ago.
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Number Two: Taking the Garbage Out
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A few weeks ago I went outside at around 3am to move the garbage to the curb since pickup would be in the morning. I often do this in the middle of the night. I just tend to keep weird hours and as the weather warms up for the summer I find the warm nights preferable to the sweltering days.
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I’m not worried about bothering my neighbors since I don’t use noisy bins and all of the houses right next to me are currently empty. I actually find the quiet of the neighborhood at night quite relaxing.
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Unfortunately since I don’t use bins animals are able to get into the bags a bit easier and while this doesn’t happen often it had happened on this night. So I was outside picking up the strewn around garbage and putting it into another bag when the silence of the night was suddenly broken by multiple police sirens.
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At first they seemed distant and while they startled me it was not at all unheard of to hear sirens at night here. But usually it would be one in the distance. As I listened, still bagging the garbage, I could tell it was multiple sirens and they were getting closer. Then just as suddenly as it started it stopped again. There was just silence. By the time they stopped they sounded maybe four blocks away.
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For a moment the night was silent again and I began hauling the bags to the curb when the neighborhood dogs began barking all at once. It was like every dog in the neighborhood had gotten the cue to start barking. Many were even howling. It continued for maybe a minute and once again it just stopped as suddenly as it had started.
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I realized I hadn’t heard any barking or howling while the sirens were going and that’s normally how it would work. These dogs had started up separately from the sirens and just stopped all at once. It just wasn’t normal. I went back to the side of the house to grab more bags when the silence was broken a third time. 

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Just a single chime in the night. Like someone getting a phone notification. This sound wasn’t blocks away. This sound was here. RIGHT HERE. No more than feet away. As I said, the houses around me are empty.
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I was done. The rest of the garbage would wait until morning. I didn’t see anyone close by but that just made it worse. There was someone close by that I couldn’t see. I immediately went into the house to leave the garbage for the morning.
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I don’t know if these things were related. If the cops had been chasing someone who’s fleeing had caused the dogs to bark. Someone who received a message on their phone as they approached my house. Or if it was all just a coincidence. But I won’t be taking the garbage out at 3am anymore.
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A Commuter’s Nightmare
William M.
06/30/2021
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Back in the 80s, I worked at the Irwin Memorial Blood Bank in San Francisco while living and commuting from Oakland, CA
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My job as Registrar, took me all over Northern California, during Blood Drives at hospitals, clinics, major corporations, etc., where we would sometimes witness firsthand, the dead, being placed on gurneys, running out of the Coroner's or Medical Examiner’s rear doors, and down the sidewalks, because they simply didn’t have enough room or staff inside the morgues to process them. Mortuaries were having problems too due to the massive overload where deceased loved ones were admitted but not processed or interred for months or even years at a time.
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I remember watching the News and reading newspaper accounts of E.R.s in hospitals, clinics, etc. so clogged with patients, that 1 in 10 would die waiting to just get in to see a Dr. It was a Public Health and Safety nightmare. It was a National disgrace. It was politically orchestrated mass murder. It was the B purge of the ‘80s and ‘90s.
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I remember, starting work early on one of many Blood Drives (the A.I.D.S. epidemic was just getting started) and having to catch the first B.A.R.T. (Bay Area Rapid Transit) train out of the station at about 4:00 am, where morning after morning I would witness hundreds of people sleeping on the benches, or the sidewalks, or on the streets outside, waiting for it to open.
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Hundreds of others would be seen walking around like zombies in the early morning freeze amid the concomitant yelling, screaming, moaning, begging, and pleading, all of it looking like a newsreel of the death camps at Auschwitz-Birkenau.
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Many times, I was woken at home in the middle of the night, to the sounds of people howling and cursing outside my window at some real or imagined threat, until either the police came, which usually took hours because they were spread so thin, or some tenant, or other, ran them off.
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I remember the time I woke up to the sound of a woman’s voice begging in the early morning cold for someone to help her. She kept repeating it over and over growing weaker and weaker until it was little more than a whisper.
By the time I’d gotten up, armed myself with the steel-reinforced baton I’d purchased at a Police Supply store, and ran the 5 floors down to the ground floor, I found her sitting in a taxi shivering from the 42-degree drizzle coming in off the Pacific. The cabbie told me it was alright; she was just cold and needed someplace to rest and warm up; He’d drop her off at one of the nearby shelters.
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At the time, I was living in a local Residence Hall on Lake Merrit in Oakland, California which was little more than a converted Hotel from the San Francisco/Oakland Gilded Age of the late 1920s. It had 5 floors and a penthouse with a capacity of about 200. I never saw it get much beyond about 30 residents. It sported a full kitchen, dining area, big screen tv viewing room, swimming pool, and a recreation room with pool, foosball, and darts.
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I lived with a friend, at the time, on the 5th floor just under the penthouse. There was an elevator, but like most refurbs, it didn’t work. That meant we'd have to climb 10 flights of stairs every day to reach our room. The best part was that we had the entire floor to ourselves. I guess nobody wanted to climb that many stairs. Because we were both runners, it was a little like running the 900 feet to the top of Angel Island, running across The Golden Gate Bridge and back, or running the 3.4 miles around Lake Merrit twice a day.
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Because there was no air-conditioning, all the windows were left open during the summer months, but along with whatever cool air the San Francisco/Oakland Bay would bring through the gaping nearly wall-length vault ceilinged windows, it was always accompanied by the teeming, screaming City of Oakland street din: cabbies, buses, cars, trucks, vans, motorcycles, scooters, police sirens, ambulance, fire department, pedestrians, hustlers, druggies, break-dancers, prostitutes the homeless, et al. Day or night, winter or summer, it was like living in a jet engine test lab, somewhere on the 9th level of hell.
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Of course, we could always close the windows against the noise 5 stories below. But if it was summer, with all the humidity coming off the bay, we’d roast like 2 suckling pigs in our own sweat even if we used a fan.
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One night after a particularly grueling day at work, I came home, climbed Mount Everest (or at least K-2) to my steaming little abattoir, tore off my sports jacket, shirt, and tie, and fell into a coma-like sleep only to awake some 4 hours later to the sound of someone slamming a door, over and over, seemingly as hard as they could. It was about 2:00 am and raining so hard the water was pouring through the open window and flooding the floor and carpet. The sound was coming somewhere down the hall from one of the other units.
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After about the 15th or 16th slam to my inner ear, I was up, as in a trance, running like a lunatic from unit to unit and window to window, covering the entire southside of the 5th floor; battening down the hatches, and getting drenched in the process. It was, how should I say: exhilaratingly infuriating. I was supposed to get up in 2 hours and commute to work in the upper peninsula.
Having unconsciously completed this Sisyphean task and realizing that there was zero chance of getting any sleep, I donned my foul weather gear, equipped my trusty baton (I used to tuck its 2 ½-foot length up my sleeve when running), and headed out the front door to Lake Merrit which was just outside the main entrance. From there, I trotted to the sidewalk circling the lake, and began to run.
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As I ran counterclockwise against a torrential rain with a gale-force wind broken only by the occasional intermittent rainbow-hued lightning flashes which blinded me to almost everything around me, I almost ran into someone up ahead who was walking in the same direction.
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He was hunched over against the wind and rain and wearing a long heavy winter coat. Unusual for that time of year, I thought. Whenever I would run in public, I always made it a courtesy to let people know when I was approaching especially from behind. I’d blurt out a perfunctory:
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“Excuse me.” Followed by a conciliatory:
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“Sorry.”
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But apparently, the person ahead either didn’t hear me or didn’t care because, when I was about 6 feet from him, he suddenly turned around, exposing a darkened contorted face, jagged teeth, and a guttural growl that would have stopped a charging 600-pound Grizzly.
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The sheer force of the malevolence emitted from this inhuman thing almost made me stop, but because I was moving so fast, the inertia along with the gale force wind and lightning strikes propelled me past him (or it), and fingering my steel-reinforced baton, I, in turn, steeled my nerve and kept running. I looked back only once to reassure myself that he (or it) wasn’t following.
​
Running on the leeward side now, with the rain at my back, I ran past a group of men in a circle smoking or drinking or doing whatever noxious or illicit thing I imagined, when, feeling charged with my own adrenalin, or the anger and resentment at that woman’s searing pleas for help, or the spook I’d almost run into, or just the gross injustices thrust upon the world in that dank, dark and dangerous time, I almost stopped, baton in hand, intending to take on the whole group: I may go down, I told myself, but at least I would take one or two with me.
​
Just then, the lightning struck particularly close to where I and they stood and the sheer blinding flash and concussive boom shook all of us enough to break up their conspiratorial collaboration and my righteous crusade; just enough, that is, to shove me headlong around the next bend, to the long straight full out dash to the front doors, the 5 floors, 10 landings, and 50 risers to rain-sodden home.
​
To get to work every day, I'd have to commute to the upper peninsula by using 3 buses, 1 train, and 1 cab and after a 10 or 12 or sometimes 14-hour day, I would have to take the same to get back. This meant that if I didn’t go out, make dinner, eat, or watch tv, I just might get about 4 hours sleep. Commuting took between 2 to 3 hours, one way.
​
Once on the way home, almost every stop was crowded with commuters. I was told that it was because there were so many buses down for repair. The ones still running were so filled beyond capacity, that the shocks and springs were sitting on the chassis, and stop after stop proved nearly impossible to take on any more passengers. Still, and despite the few getting out at every stop, the driver would take on even more and just pack them in.
​
I remember him yelling for people to get back behind the yellow line over and over. By then, he was long past any semblance of reason; his patience frayed to a single maniacal thought, his voice raspier and raspier, his manner, more and more brusk.
​
I can still see when he finally lost it; jumping up, out of his seat, with a nickel-plated 38 Caliber Revolver pointing at one of the passengers; an elderly woman, screaming from the top of his lungs:
​
“Get back behind the yellow line!”
​
I can still hear the woman begging the driver:
​
“Please...” while the passengers behind were practically trampling each other to get out of the line of fire.
I remember the sad, exhausted urgency in her voice; she really was trying to move back, but how could she, an old woman, do that with all those people blocking her way? Everyone knew this was an impossible task; everyone except the maddened driver. He just kept glaring, and bellowing with his gun out pointed right at her and the other passengers.
​
"Back up and make room" he yelled.
​
‘Or else what?’ I thought. ‘You're gonna kill an old woman?'
​
Getting up out of my seat, pushing my way through the throng who were pushing against me to get away, I managed to get within about 6 feet from the front when, roaring through the din and my fear and anger, I ordered the bus driver to:
​
“Put the gun down!” And again, with even more rage and authority:
“Put the gun down, now!”
​
The bus driver shocked that it might be a cop, or worse, shakily, put his gun back in his concealed carry holster and hypnotically sat back down. He resumed driving without saying another word. I got out at the next stop, along with the elderly woman. She was so shaken, that she busted out crying. I held her still fuming despite the close call because I would now have to wait for another bus and after that, 2 more; the train and a cab to get home. I wasn’t going to make it until well after 8:00 pm. As soon as I got home, I reported the bus number and the driver to Muni.
​
Many of the commuters I'd see day to day, or share a seat with were victims of the purge just trying to get out of the rain or the cold, or the wind, or the sun, even for just a little while. For them, it was easing the agony of living on the street, even just a little. For many of us regular commuters, during those dark times, it proved to be the same.
​
On one of the final buses that would take me to the train and across the bay, I remember standing, with about 50 others, on Market Street waiting. Like ours, stop after stop was so packed with people, some were standing in the street because there was simply not enough room on the sidewalk. The ones in the street would stay where they were for fear of losing their place and missing their connection and having to wait another hour, or more, to catch another.
​
Because the rapidly descending elevation of the southbound streets ending at Market Street from the upper peninsula were so steep and the transverse angle of the turn so sharp, some of the buses would skirt the edge of the curb, sometimes rolling up over it onto the sidewalk putting them dangerously close to the commuters waiting on the other side.
​
If there were any people in the street, especially the old or the infirm, they would either have to get out of the way and lose their place in line or hope the bus driver stopped before completing the turn. Most of the drivers would. Once there was one who didn’t.
​
I remember the television and newspaper account about an elderly woman waiting at one of the stops during the pm rush hour. When the bus made the oblique turn way too fast at 25 miles per hour she was either too close to the edge or standing in the street when she was hit by the side view mirror across the face and the left side of her head.
​
She went down under the wheels and her body got hung up under the chassis. The bus driver too full of passengers to stop, or late for his break, or just too coked up to notice, kept on heading for the Embarcadero before he realized something was wrong. By then, the woman had been dragged over a quarter of a mile. No one knew for sure whether the concussion from the mirror or the relentless dragging was the cause of death. I guess it didn’t matter to her anymore, one way or the other. It mattered to a lot of those who witnessed the whole thing though; screaming and yelling, block after block, trying to get the bus driver to stop.
​
To get across the Bay to San Francisco from Oakland or back, one alternative to the nightmare bus commute was the B.A.R.T (Bay Area Rapid Transit). It was quiet, clean, air-conditioned, and fast. Traveling under the Bay, it could span the 13 miles in minutes. Once I’d reach the train station, by bus, from the Oakland side, I’d descend one of the many street-level entries to the below-ground turnstiles which led to the train platform. Of course, there were always hundreds of derelicts, homeless, hustlers, etc., hanging out by the turnstiles waiting for their chance to slip through and get on any one of the many trains that serviced the Bay Area, but sometimes, especially after a scuffle with B.A.R.T. Security or the San Francisco/Oakland Police, they’d scatter to the winds (or the shadows as it were) until everything calmed down and then they'd be back at it again, day and night.
​
Almost every week I'd hear about someone falling, or being pushed, or jumping down onto the third rail, which would either short-circuit the line and knock out the power or if it was particularly grisly, halt service entirely. Because service resumption could take hours, waiting passengers would have to go back up and out onto the street and catch another train, take a cab or a bus or just walk or, as was often the case for me, run.
​
Once, I remember running to the next stop when I was ascending to the upper peninsula because the previous connection didn’t show up which meant it would have added another 45 minutes to my commute. The choice was obvious and inevitable: I could either
“wait to be late” or go for it. I chose the latter.
​
You just can't imagine what it’s like to run at a 20-degree angle uphill for about 2 miles while wearing dress slacks, dress shoes, a white shirt and tie, and a sports jacket, in San Francisco, during the summer, with the humidity until you’ve tried it. It’s, how should I say: exhilaratingly infuriating.
​
Running, I came upon a stand-alone, transmission shop, right in the middle of a residential area. The owners must have paid a pretty penny to get away with that one. There were police cars, the fire department, a metro ambulance, the San Francisco Chronicle, and a marked County Coroner’s Office vehicle scattered around the shop.
Some people along with some of the employees: their first names embroidered on their shirts, were standing on the sidewalk just outside the property watching. They’d been there for about an hour when I stopped to ask one of them (Bob) what happened.
​
Wearily he said:
​
“The girl who worked in the office answering the phone and typing up orders was shot to death by her boyfriend. The boyfriend got away but she was still down there being processed. God, she was only 24 years old. They’ll catch him, though. He hasn’t got a chance.”
​
'Nope,' I thought.
'In this town, I don’t expect he would.'
​
I was late again when I got home. Vaulting the 5 floors to reach our loft, I held my friend close, the entire night. She was ok with that. So was I.=

To say my mother is a nutcase would be an understatement. She's a bat fuck bipolar whackadoo who has the world's longest medication list of narcotics.
Growing up nothing I (27F) ever did was good enough. I would be punished just for sitting on the couch wrong. Here's a summarized list of things she did:
When I was 7 one of her rings fell down the kitchen sink drain and she blamed me because I was taking a shower at the same time. She beat with a hairbrush and took my bed away. Claiming had to earn the right to have a have a bed. I slept on the floor in the living room until I was 18.
On my 8th birthday she got mad that I showered without being told, so she dragged me by my hair back into the shower and threw me in. Next thing I know I'm waking up on the with her holding a belt ready to beat me because I fell asleep in the shower.
At 9 she threw away what little clothes I had because I was getting to fat. She went out and bought clothes that were way to small for me to properly wear to encourage me to lose weight. She also locked up the fridge and cabinets. This went one until I was 16 and she gave up.
At 11 I got seriously ill while at school and instead of taking me to a doctor, she brought me and yelled that I got the flu on purpose because I was to stupid to learn. She grabbed my brother's gulf club and beat me until I was covered in bruises.
At 12 she began waking me up in the middle of the night to make me clean the house. I'd clean and she would destroy it all my hard work saying it was because I missed or spot.
At 14/15 the beatings stopped for a bit due to her being in a near fatal car accident (broken spine, and brain injury). By this point I had become completely dependent on her and thought it my life was normal. After a melt down at my granny's house one my cousins took me aside and laid it all out for. That what I was going through was abuse and he was sorry no one tried to stop it. They were so afraid she would kill me if they intervened.
Six months after the accident I went back home to live with her. I became her primary care taker. Booking her appointments, giving her baths, etc. Despite her injuries she was still capable of causing me great harm. But by this point I knew better and did my best to defend myself.
But due to years of being belittled and a human punching bag I had a hard time sticking up for myself. I would tell people what was happening but no one would believe because of how frail she looked.
At 17 I dislocated my knee while playing street hockey and needed to go to the hospital. She told the coaches and referees that she would drive me (by this point she had regained the ability to drive). They all trusted her to do so. Nope she took me home and beat me for making accuses not to play. Since winter break started the same day as the game, no one at the school wouldn't notice that she lied. She took away my phone to keep me calling for help. I spent most of winter break barely able to move and in pain.
The day after christmas I managed to get ahold of my phone while she was passed out and call a family friend for help. He took me to the hospital where they fixed my knee up and kept me overnight for observation because of how long I had to wait for treatment. I told them about my mother and what she did, but they knew her and said I was lying and attention seeking.
When I got home, my mother was still passed out. When she came to she didn't even notice that I had a knee brace on or using crutches to get around. I ended up benched for the rest of hockey season. My knee is still fucked up to this day due the damaged caused by being forced to wait.
That same school year, she burned all my identification records; birth certificate, state ID, and SS card because she wanted to make sure I stayed with her forever.
When I was 18 I was done with abuse. I was done trying to get people to listen me. I was fighting a losing battle. I figured no one would miss me, so I made a plan to end it all. I decided to spend my last day in the one place I felt safe, the library. Thankfully I met someone that day that gave me hope and strength to keep going.
Because of him, I was able find the courage to run. On my last day living with my mother, she beat me to the point she drew blood and broke my ribs. She was in such a rage I feared for my life. I managed to secretly record the audio of what happened. When she finally stopped and left me alone, I managed to get up, grab my phone and run to my neighbor's house.
The police and ambulance were called. I played the recording, but they all looked at her and deemed it was a fake recording. The officer threatened to arrest me if called the cops again under false pretenses. The paramedics begrudgingly took me to the hospital to get stitched up and xrayed but the ride was filled with accusatory looks and a lecture on how I'm a horrible daughter.
After being released, I took a bus home, grabbed what I could while she wasn't there and left. I lived on the streets for a bit while still going to school l, determined to finish up my senior year. Thankfully the guy I had met at the library, and his family took me in when they realized what had happened.
I finally had people who believed me and took actual care of me. They made sure I had a real bed and a real room to sleep in. They helped me get new copies of my birth certificate and SS card so I could get a new ID.
My mother to this day refuses to admit to what she did. She'll tell people I was a troubled and angry child who purposely hurt myself to get her in trouble. She'll claim she couldn't find a better way to get me to behave.
I still have a lot of trauma to work through, but I am more or less my own person. I have a steady-ish job and I pay bills. I married the guy from the library and gave birth to our child. I see a therapist every few weeks to work on bettering myself. And I'm determined to never end up like her. I will also not remain silent about my childhood. I will make sure people hear me.

It was a fine day in May and we pulled up and talked about some books. We covered Blitz by Daniel O'Malley and, because it was recently Mother's Day, I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy. And we spent way more time on them than we usually do, so we must have liked them. Quite a few people read the Blitz. Incorrigible_muffin had previously covered it, but was disappointed in the a payoff, and said the two story lines didn't really resolve. Aurora_the_Off-White said that she liked it, but agreed that it wasn't on the same level as the first two.
She said that Blitz could have a strong philosophical payoff even if the storylines didn't have an strong resolution. If someone read Blitz by itself without the first two novels, they might enjoy it more. Carbonjen thought there was a lot to like about the writer, saying he writes women well. Muffin said there were a lot of interesting possibilities in the world he created. The author covers the British and American versions of supernatural bureaus, but there were many of these throughout the world.
We talked about the story's structure. The main character's lost memory lets the author explain the supernatural elements in detail and do the worldbuilding without any distracting exposition. Munsontime had a thought, asking if it was technically the same person in the body or a completely new personality that developed after the wiped memory. If a personality is a product of the experiences and memories the person accumulates, then it's probably a different person.
Munson blitzed through the first two and is currently on the third. He was surprised at the spelling of the main character's name, Myfanwy Thomas, having listened to the audiobook. I was surprised and a little disappointed that the pronunciation is just "Miffany". Princess_MoNaanKay stopped by to return the first book int the The Checquy Files, The Rook that I had lent out. I thought she was returning it specifically because we were reading The Blitz, but she said she's decided to see other bookclubs. So we just need to move on and live our best bookclub life and hope she finds happiness.
Jennette McCurdy was apparently in a show called iCarly. I had never seen it or heard of it, so I think I missed a lot of context from the book. Everyone else in our group really liked the book - finding it insightful and funny. Most people agreed that the things the author's mom did stood out, and so did the actions of Dan Schneider, who was the creator of iCarly. But she didn't go into that in depth. Muffin said the system that pipelines kids into the entertainment business is fundamentally responsible for many of these abusive situations, and the actions of the mom are a product of that. Aurora thought that the author used humor to cope with loss and grief.
We talked about long wait times for getting books from the library. Carbonjen actually bought Tender Is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica because she was not optimistic about it becoming available through the library. She didn't have as many spicy romance recommendations as last time, but did have a couple. She thought Pestilence by Laura Thalassa was good and a fun concept. It's the first of The Four Horsemen series; a romance involving the four horseman of the apocalypse.
She liked The Siren a lot less. I think this was the one by Kiera Cass. Apparently the characters said the word "fishcunt" too many times and it became grating. She also didn't like how a lot of the characters in A Court of Thorns and Roses were developed in the story. She mentioned Brutal Prince only to say it was brutally bad, and is reading Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo and liking. And that makes Muffin happy.
Sassypapaya recently read Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr, which is very popular around these parts. I think she said she read The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, and may have had good things to say about Lightlark by Alex Aster, or that may have been someone else. She was too far away from me for me to follow the conversation from that side of the circle very well. She asked about Verity by Colleen Hoover and Muffin said that Colleen Hoover was a step up from Stephanie Meyer.
Munson and his friends have a rule for their bookclub: you can't use the term "Beautiful Prose". But if he was forced to provide an example of beautiful prose, then he might use it when talking about Another Country by James Baldwin. He described it as "Kerouacky" - intimate and sexual especially for 1961. It's about the Jazz scene in NY in the 60s, with themes of race, gender, and sexual orientation in its cultural context. A slice of life story in the gay, black, jazz scene in New York. The Trial of Henry Kissinger by Christopher Hitchens is next for his other bookclub, Apparently Hank is bumping up against age 100. It was estimated that his cold-blooded policy directives are responsible for 4 or 5 million deaths. We talked briefly about Red Rising by Pierce Brown, which was the biggest book in the world for a minute. Munson said that, as a sci fi guy, he had already read many similar stories before and it just wasn't a big deal for him.
Assaulty recently read American War by Omar Al Akkad, and talked about how people end up on different sides of a conflict. Many times people don't have a choice about which side they end up on, and American War addresses some of these themes. She asked for more like this book. Asterion7 suggested Paolo Bacigulupi works such as The Water Knife and Shipbreaker, which are near future works with major themes of climate catastrophe. For this kind of thing I always recommend Afterwar by Lilith Saintcrow. Saintcrow a romance writer and I was really surprised by this book. It's gritty and hard, and a little spicy but not romantic.
Assaulty also read Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin and likes reading about creative partnerships like this. She told us about Nevada by Imogen Binnie, which is one of the inspirations for Detransition Baby by Torrey Peters; This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone; and The Way of Shadows by Brent Weeks, the first book of the Night Angel trilogy.
Muffin told us about The House of Eve by Sadeqa Johnson, the next book after the The Yellow Wife, which features Lumpkin's Jail. The House of Eve takes place in DC and Philly and ties in with the events of the first boo., The author will be giving a talk on June 8th at the Library of Virginia, and Muffin wanted to read this before seeing the author.

Please join us for a talk by award-winning author Sadeqa Johnson on her new novel, The House of Eve, the follow-up to her book Yellow Wife, which won the Library’s 2022 People’s Choice Award for Fiction. In this moving work of historical fiction set in 1950s Philadelphia and Washington, D.C., the stories of two women collide in unexpected ways as they both make decisions that shape the trajectory of their lives. The House of Eve was an instant New York Times best seller and was selected by Reese’s Book Club as the February 2023 pick. A book signing will follow the talk.
The Carole Weinstein Author Series supports the literary arts by bringing both new and well-known authors to the Library of Virginia through online or in-person events. Free and open to the public, the series focuses on Virginia.

Coconut read the second book in the Great Cities series by N.K. Jemisin called the The World We Make. Asterion7 picked up Trust by Herman Diaz, a Pulitzer prize winner. He also read We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Heaberlin and liked it enough to finish it, but not much more than that.
assaulty is looking for a gateway to Sci Fi, and asked about the distinction between Sci Fi and Fantasy. However many people there are in the room, that's the number of different opinions you're likely to hear at any given time. Some say it's magic versus technology. If Sci Fi doesn't have magic, what about Star Wars and force lightning from those Sith guys? So maybe Star Wars is actually Fantasy and Star Trek is Sci Fi. But what about wormholes and different dimensions and the super annoying character Q? It's a subject worth exploring, but there might not be an answer. To me those are just two different themes with strong aesthetic styling.
Assaulty may have read Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler or it might have just been recommended to her because she is interested in Sci Fi and liked The American War. Skyvrbyvr loved Octavia Butler's Kindred giving it 5 stars. She says it's not just beautiful prose: she respects that Butler is not afraid to create gruff and real people - characters that are somewhat unlikable but somehow still relatable.
Aurora had a huge list of completions and I have no idea if these are all hers or not. But this month she read a bunch of first books across several series. I think heard Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo; Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn by Tad Williams the first of the The Dragonbone Chair series (I think she deemed it meh); Elantris by Brandon Sanderson also caught a meh; and Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch, the first of the Gentleman Bastards series.
The last one generated a lot of interest as a lot of us have read it and really liked it. Like The Checquy Files, the first book is fantastic and there are diminishing returns after that, though I haven't read the last two: The Republic of Thieves and The Thorn of Emberlain. Munson says that if you read Sanderson, then The Stormlight Archive series is the way to go. Aurora also has Circe by Madeline Miller on hold at the library.
We talked about a few books about music, I think all of these are from Munson, including Meet Me in the Bathroom by Lizzy Goodman: Rebirth and Rock and Roll in New York City 2001-2011; Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk by Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain; and Sing Backwards and Weep, a memoir by the singer Mark Lanegan. We also talked a little about Nardwuar, a music interviewer who is amazingly in-depth but often described as offputting.
Munson says he can sometimes be invasive and not enjoyable but agrees that he is talented. Nardwuar is likely autistic and we were informed that "neurospicy" is no longer acceptable. Obviously, I'm cool with someone else deciding what they find offensive and following their recommendations, but I wish we had something to pivot to. We talked about how the line between normies and nerurodivergents can be pretty thin and while gatekeeping mental health can be frustrating, it's also infuriating that people resist any accommodation for neurodivergent people.
I knocked off a few books, including On a Night of A Thousand Stars by Andrea Yaryura Clark; Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata, and Gold Fame Citrus by Claire Vaye Watkins. The last was comparable to Station Eleven in terms of quality and themes. The story wasn't as good, but the prose was pretty exceptional. The author was able to do some things I hadn't seen before. I'm reading The City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty, The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin, and listening to a couple courses about Human Pre History, First Civilizations, and pre-Alexandrian Empires.
Apparently George RR Martin joined the writer's strike and is not writing anything, not that you could really tell. We talked about the 8th season of Game of Thrones, and how those two producers just ruined at least hundreds of millions of dollars in sales of DVDs, downloads, books, and comics. One of the most disastrous effects of incompetence on a brand I've ever seen.
We talked about Patrick Rothfus's Name of the Wind and how the main character was a bit of a Mary Sue, but the narrator might have intentionally been portrayed as unreliable. Someone brought up Hope and Other Dangerous Pursuits by Laila Lalami, and we added The Moor's Account as August's non-dorky read. Some of the guys don't want to me call it a Muggle book anymore, and would rather call it a regular book. Maybe we need to keep looking for the right term.
We talked about books with actual paper pages versus reading on a device or listening to audiobooks. Carbonjen says she prefers the Kindle Paperweight because her dogs chews up actual books. I read paper, epub, and listen in about equal proportions. I was listening to Dodge, or Fall in Hell and was not liking it, but started liking it better when I flipped to the epub version. Munson says he uses safari reader on his laptop and will set it to autoscroll. We also compared strategies for downsizing our libraries. Very few people keep every book they buy anymore, especially if you have moved your collection a couple times.
We talked about the St. James Muse, trails on the James, the resurgence in skating, and art classes at the VMFA and Visual Arts Studio. We also talked about all the pedestrians being hit by cars and how squaring street corners can slow cars down. Right now corners are rounded, encouraging cars to take them at speed. And how dash cams are an essential equipment for cars now. Chop Suey is now Shelf Life and Wonton is now "Wonny". But has retired and been replaced by two new cats, presumably who are earning much lower, entry-level wages.
Someone brought up BookTalk.org, saying they mostly got ass recommendations out of it. I've used https://www.whatshouldireadnext.com and it isn't so bad, but really isn't any better than Goodreads. I've used Shepherd a couple of times, which can be really good if you're looking for exactly the type of book that has been covered in one of their lists, but it seems to only accept general categories.
Coming Up on June 18

• Fall; Or, Dodge in Hell
• or some other Neal Stephenson book

Coming Up on July 23

• Just pick a book in your To Be Read pile and tell us about it. We were lamenting the large backlog that each of each is carrying around and decided to just knock some of them out.

Coming Up on August 20

• The God of Endings by Jacqueline Holland
• The Moor's Account by Laila Lalami

Here’s my packing list for 18 days in May/June including 2 weddings, my own honeymoon, and a bachelorette party. I packed both a carry on backpack (REI Traverse 35L in S) and personal item backpack (North Face Borealis from 2014 which I think is 27L), both not completely full. For the variety of events I was prepared for, the fact that I almost used everything more than once, and the amount I experimented with convertible clothing, I thought it might be worth posting even though it’s 2 bags. We did laundry once ~day 9 or 10.
Events I was packing for

• 2 California weddings which each also had pre-wedding events the day before - dress codes for the 4 total events were 1) dressy casual in bright orange/yellow colors, 2) dressy casual, 3) black tie optional, 4) Indian formal.
• 12 day honeymoon in Morocco included time in the mountains, desert, cities, and beach. Everything was to be relatively modest and almost everything had to be comfortable enough for plane/train/bus/car travel throughout.
• Bachelorette weekend in Puerto Rico - casual with beach time, city time, and a day of rainforest/waterfall hiking and kayaking.

https://preview.redd.it/fjvvtm4l5p4b1.jpg?width=6082&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bfa67c8c71b63d2ff27c2d70534e73be7365168a
Belt bag - worn on travel days and for more active stuff - hiking, camel ride, quad biking.

• https://shop.lululemon.com/p/bags/Everywhere-Belt-Bag/_/prod8900747?CID=Google_SSC_US_NAT_EN_X_Hybrid_Bestsellers_GEN_Y22_ag%3DSSC_G_US_EN_DM_X_GEN_NO_Bestsellers-All&color=45773&gclid=CjwKCAjw1YCkBhAOEiwA5aN4AWK_Z65A66luytVj9TG4ga3UwbFmXEXi9M6Jpq28DN7kSNFNna1-kxoCTMAQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&locale=en_US&sl=US&sz=ONESIZE

Crossbody leather purse - worn to wedding events and days out in cities.

• https://www.macys.com/shop/product/michael-michael-kors-jet-set-charm-east-west-leather-camera-crossbody?ID=10332282

Packable backpack - needed on more active days when I needed to carry extra clothes and a water bottle

• https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B075F36956/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Zip close laundry bag (came with an Away carry on rolling suitcase)
Toiletry bag with 4 compartments and a hook to hang in the bathroom - full with mini sizes of almost everything I would use at home including makeup, meds, skincare, curly hair stuff, sunscreen, bug spray, etc.

• https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B088K3J4W1/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Tech pouch (came with the Samsonite Silhouette 17 tote) - held phone charging cables for USB-C and USB-A, international plug converter, external battery, headphones, and my travel mini hair straightener.
Jewelry case - with jewelry for the weddings and nice dinners. Stored my engagement & wedding rings on the ring tabs on days I didn’t want to wear them.

• https://www.quince.com/women/leather-jewelry-travel-case?color=nude&g_acctid=978-058-8398&g_adgroupid=&g_adid=&g_adtype=pla&g_campaign=&g_campaignid=18325121260&g_ifcreative=&g_ifproduct=product&g_keyword=&g_keywordid=&g_merchantid=128669708&g_network=x&g_partition=&g_productchannel=online&g_productid=41723710865578&gclid=CjwKCAjw1YCkBhAOEiwA5aN4AcuAvhnwAadMjaH2pejHgOFwgpfxpBXWGj3zGCTfaTTharYWpjtbshoCK5YQAvD_BwE&utm_campaign=&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_source=google&utm_term=41723710865578

Travel towel

• https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01K1TXEUM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1&psc=1

Water bottle - Wish I had an insulated water bottle instead of my plastic one for the desert heat. Will be shopping for one.
Turtl pillow - strapped in the bungee cords of the north face backpack

• https://trtltravel.com/products/trtl-travel-pillow?variant=42424477679809

Sun hat - folded flat and also strapped in the bungee cords when I wasn’t wearing it

• https://www.rei.com/product/172853/chaos-krystal-hat-womens?cm_mmc=email_tran-_-trans_order_confirm-_-230706-_-img_prod1&ev36=&rmid=trans_order_confirm&rrid=484151215&ev11=&redirect-pup=false

Sunglasses in a case

• https://www.vangoghmuseumshop.com/en/reading-glasses-accessories/638/reading-glasses-accessories/38312/van-gogh-eyeglass-case-sunflowers

Tevas Hurricane XLT2 - Worn for most days in Morocco and Puerto Rico. I bought cheap water shoes from Walgreens the day of the waterfall hike because I was worried about traction for rock climbing with open toed shoes, but a couple of girls on the trip did it all in Tevas without a problem.

• https://www.amazon.com/Teva-Hurricane-Xlt2-Bright-White/dp/B077F97NBK/ref=asc_df_B077F97NBK/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=317242525364&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8014103660706958083&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9022868&hvtargid=pla-471067730314&psc=1

Croc sandals - I used these functionally as flip flops for inside the hotels/ showers, especially when the Tevas were still drying off after water activities. I wore them out in the city once but they aren’t comfortable for hours of walking on uneven ground.

• https://www.crocs.com/p/womens-crocs-tulum-sandal/206107.html

Sneakers - light pink color, felt like it looked ok when a little dusty in Morocco

• https://www.adidas.com/us/cloudfoam-pure-2.0-shoes/HP6237.html?af_channel=Search&af_click_lookback=30d&af_reengagement_window=30d&c=PLA&cm_mmc=AdieSEM_Feeds-_-GoogleProductAds-_-NA-_-HP6237&cm_mmca1=US&cm_mmca2=NA&dfw_tracker=24819-HP6237-0008&epik=dj0yJnU9SUxXZ1JqQkRJaFhvby0wNXdoSEZiMFRVYjVaa1NjbWkmcD0wJm49aWlkdFFGcnlMenRpYlc3VUJDOWduZyZ0PUFBQUFBR1NCSVRB&gclid=Cj0KCQjwocShBhCOARIsAFVYq0iNVfnm87xpjTGOgUDUvaJddLIXCow4MMVtYY5KpPp5U4rUmNME1CkaAtjuEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&is_retargeting=true&kpid=HP6237&pid=googleadwords_temp&sourceid=543457011HP6237

Convertible heels to flats - worn as heels for both weddings, worn as flat sandals for both pre-wedding events. Also converted them into flats after dancing at the weddings. Would've worn for a night out at the bachelorette but my flight there was delayed and I missed it.

• https://pashionfootwear.com/products/the-pashionista-sand-braid-block-heel-kit-3-sand?variant=41566274977990&epik=dj0yJnU9SFl4WktnQ3hMby05d0FqUFAzQVZEbWhXOXlMX1VTanUmcD0wJm49ZEdGTm9uWkllV3BiaUhzZTlLcWx0dyZ0PUFBQUFBR1NCSVZn

Packing cubes (not pictured) with all clothes - Eagle Creek Pack-It Original sizes M x 2, S x 1, XS x 1

• https://www.eaglecreek.com/collections/cubes

Lehenga choli - top & bottom that I dressed up with Indian jewelry for the Indian wedding but dressed down as separates in Morocco. Worn with a dupatta - which I also used to cover my shoulders for sleeveless outfits in Morocco.

• https://www.azafashions.com/products/use328607?utm_source=emailer&utm_medium=RnS&utm_campaign=newsletter2317_Order-Con
• https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LQGU2RC/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Convertible dress - worn for one wedding event and a day in Marrakech. Also was good as a cover up when going to the pool/spa within the riads.

• https://www.vettacapsule.com/products/the-convertible-wrap-tie-dress

Convertible jumpsuit - varied the necklines for a wedding welcome dinner and a dinner while glamping in the sand dunes. Worn as high waisted pants with the bra tank for wine tasting in California and for a day in the Marrakech.

• https://www.freepeople.com/shop/dani-convertible-open-back-one-piece/?color=001&countryCode=US&gclid=CjwKCAjw1YCkBhAOEiwA5aN4AR81QgStAQ23k06mTNcCSoIiyyxovRE-El3eLEqThzmf6Lzy1uqWzxoCLacQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&inventoryCountry=US&size=XS&utm_kxconfid=vx6ro62gj&type=REGULAR&quantity=1

Convertible dress/scarf - worn as a shawl for the black tie optional wedding and dressy casual prewedding event, worn as a scarf for a cold night out in chefchaouen, worn as a dress at the beach in Essaouira and for a day out in Marrakech.

• https://www.encircled.co/products/the-chrysalis-cardi?variant=41938037670079&dfw_tracker=152680-shopify_CA_7258230849727_41938037735615&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=19823176462&utm_content=&utm_term=&gadid=&gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw1YCkBhAOEiwA5aN4Afgzt563l2OuaUjSYsDJeGylNv_eVzWMplaHu2aV4rAnu8t8ydMBLxoCx2kQAvD_BwE&shpxid=79f4e242-a50f-4d84-9c3a-6364d9068279

Washable silk slip dress - for the black tie optional wedding. Required steaming so didn’t bother to wear again, but packs tiny.

• https://www.quince.com/women/silk-slip-dress?color=copper-brown&g_acctid=978-058-8398&g_adgroupid=&g_adid=&g_adtype=pla&g_campaign=&g_campaignid=18334584643&g_ifcreative=&g_ifproduct=product&g_keyword=&g_keywordid=&g_merchantid=128669708&g_network=x&g_partition=&g_productchannel=online&g_productid=43337976742058&gclid=CjwKCAjw1YCkBhAOEiwA5aN4AWtWqDGaAEq9uDBeoucfoQCaMnd6YBfWTIuknvtFWP0cGt39v7J5CRoCe1MQAvD_BwE&utm_campaign=&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_source=google&utm_term=43337976742058

White midi dress - worn once for pictures in the blue city Chefchaouen, thought I would wear again for clubbing in Morocco but didn’t end up getting to go
Plisse pants - worn for airplane, train and bus days because they’re comfy enough to curl up and sleep in

• https://www.oakandfort.com/PLEATED-LOUNGEWEAR-PANT-PT-8196-W?epik=dj0yJnU9SWE3S3hzYzZONk00TFhjQ3F3WnBNSkhYZUxVclIxMG0mcD0wJm49TUZYLVJJVW5FM28zWnI2SjVKeGNxUSZ0PUFBQUFBR1NCR1ZB&location=&quantity=1&Color=Misty%20Blue&epik=dj0yJnU9SWE3S3hzYzZONk00TFhjQ3F3WnBNSkhYZUxVclIxMG0mcD0wJm49TUZYLVJJVW5FM28zWnI2SjVKeGNxUSZ0PUFBQUFBR1NCR1ZB

Linen pants - were great for hot and dusty desert days

• https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=561177022&vid=1&tid=onpl000084&kwid=1&ap=7&gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw1YCkBhAOEiwA5aN4AaJH7gDncI4WEb7XZIa84eYwzpaXp2xmgMJRAOuZHoKjKpDNsvMaXhoCBBoQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content

Sleep shorts
Spanx for under silk and white dresses
Spanx athletic leggings - necessary for cold weather in chefchaouen and hiking in dades

• https://spanx.com/collections/active-leggings/products/every-wear-active-icon-leggings?variant=39774439473363&epik=dj0yJnU9dG9ESkNYMHZxeTRSaFI4Qm5qWVNQeDNMT1hSMXJxM2kmcD0wJm49RUxsMVZOZXZ6clhIY1l4VmFZZGlKUSZ0PUFBQUFBR1NCR2Qw

Patagonia R1 - needed for plane, nights in California, chefchaouen, and Atlas mountains

• https://www.patagonia.com/product/womens-r1-air-full-zip-fleece-hoody/194187591595.html?s_kwcid=17928&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Performance+Max+-+Fleece&gclid=Cj0KCQjwxMmhBhDJARIsANFGOStAgE-mdBeLiNfF6r33BXyaUlXsCdoJbj91yfZX-UT5ljjz4YI60DoaAjXMEALw_wcB&epik=dj0yJnU9dkR2U3g5WC1iWFhrZUVOM0xJT181QlpqQlliVUhEcUsmcD0wJm49UmhZUVpOWDdzdng3QU8wUS1HLWZDQSZ0PUFBQUFBR1NCR3J3

White linen button down - worn many many times over other clothes

• https://factory.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/shirts-and-tops/button-ups/gauze-button-up-shirt/BI216?color_name=white&N=MEDIUM&noPopUp=true&srccode=Paid_Search%7cSmart_Shopping%7cGoogle%7cSS_ACQ_XPROD_BESTSLLRxxxxx_EVG_ROAS_XXX_COUSA_EN_EN_A_FACT_GO_SH_SSC_xxxxxxxxxx,shop_bestseller_x_xxx,PRODUCT_GROUP,71700000074775342,58700006443853970,p58598782688&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_campaign=SS_ACQ_XPROD_BESTSLLRxxxxx_EVG_ROAS_XXX_COUSA_EN_EN_A_FACT_GO_SH_SSC_xxxxxxxxxx,shop_bestseller_x_xxx&utm_content=shopping&NoPopUp=True&gclid=CjwKCAjw1YCkBhAOEiwA5aN4AWRvIj3c1Fl72BWdmRucrYi_EfKfK3N-0Ivy2dcxDuL7yKlWq_cmCxoCKpQQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Button down short sleeve shirt - just wore once in the desert

• https://www.rei.com/product/219966/exofficio-bugsaway-brisa-sun-shirt-womens?cm_mmc=email_tran-_-trans_ship_confirm-_-230804-_-img_prod1&ev36&rmid=trans_ship_confirm&rrid=484151215&ev11&redirect-pup=false

Crochet swim cover up
Bra tank from aerie

• https://www.ae.com/us/en/p/2694_3455_357?utm_source=ae&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=operational&utm_content=AE_Email_190419_6

Workout top from Target - can pass as a tshirt with pants
Modal black tshirt - comfy enough to sleep in

• https://www.universalstandard.com/collections/base-layers?filter=crew-neck

Cotton T-shirt - instantly got sweaty, will replace with something breezier or sweat wicking next time.
White tank
Convertible strapless bra - for the formal outfits

• https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07VHR653V/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Merino wool bralette - was skeptical on the price but was super comfy and never felt like it got sweaty

• https://www.rei.com/product/207900/rei-co-op-merino-bralette?redirect-pup=false

Mesh bralette

• https://www.ae.com/us/en/p/2694_3585_173?utm_campaign=operational&utm_content=AE_Email_190419_6&utm_source=ae&utm_medium=email

1 bikini

• https://www.madewell.com/madewell-second-wave-ruched-string-bikini-top-in-blossom-power-NF599.html

1 other light bralette, 8 pairs of underwear and 4 pairs of socks not pictured (including 1 lightweight darn tough wool socks)
My backpacks felt overall light and I was fine on uneven ground and stairs wearing both of them. Someone more minimalist than me could easily get this down to 1 bag by traveling with a smaller toiletry bag and cutting 1-2 sandals, 1-3 shirts, and multiple dresses. I don’t regret bringing anything since I take a lot of pictures, so the variety was nice. I had room for food during travel and small souvenirs, so it was overall a success.
My only regret - I forgot my Columbia rain shell which which would’ve easily fit. It was super windy in California and it rained a ton in parts of Morocco. My R1 had to suffice, which is ok in a drizzle but not a downpour.
I hope someone finds this useful!

Here I am writing an in-depth review of Eurovision 2023. 2021 was my first Eurovision since Alexander Rybak won my heart with Fairytale. I missed 2022 due some...stuff. And 2023 may be my favourite year since I came back.
So I am doing a shot for a shot review of this year's contest.
A few notes;

• I will be going off the BBC Broadcast from BBC iPlayer. This will be my third time watching this year's contest.
• I will be ranking all the acts including intervals, alongside some comments on the in between segments.
• this is all my personal rankings, so please don't be mad.

Opener: Kalush Orchestra- Stefania ft Sam Ryder, Andrew Lloyd Weber, Joss Stone, Miss Banks, and Kate Middleton I did not watch 2022 (only select songs on YouTube) so I never saw this performance, but Kalush came out in a blend of backstage walking in a tube station (where the auditions took place) and into the stadium in Liverpool.
This was highlighted with cameos from British rappers and music stars including Sam Ryder, who did an awesome guitar bit. Andrew Lloyd Weber made an appearance, Joss Stone, Miss Banks...this felt like a star studded version of Stefania that the band could not perform in Ukraine.
Towards the end of the backstage and tubey bits, we have a royal cameo with Kate Middleton herself performing a piano solo! I missed that on both watches before this! I was surprised!
And then we get a super transition complete with a marching band, as Kalush performs the song in Liverpool and this may be one of my favourite openers ever. I might be biased because I really rate this song. This might be my favourite Ukaraine entry not named Go_A. It was really pushed home with the celeb cameos and features.
Final Rating: 8.5/10
Flag Ceremony NO RATING
We now get the traditional flag ceremony where we get the 26 finalists to come out to British anthems including Blur, Annie Lennox, Prodigy and more mixed in with Ukrainian acts from Eurovision including Go_A, Eurovision winner Jamala, Tina Karol, and one of my favourite Eurovision acts of all time, Verka!
It was a fun little tour down nostalgia lane alongside the first exposure of the acts for this year!
Segment with the hosts
For non-British viewers, you may not know the hosts; so let's go over them!
Mel C from the iconic Spice Girls is the arena MC for this evening. As viewers, we don't get to hear much of her, but for Liverpool, I bet that was a nice little grab!
Alesha Dixon is probably the best known out of the three English hosts. Being a part of Mis-Teeq, she shot to fame with 'Scandalous' in the 2000s before going solo.
Julia Sanina I don't know much about, but I wanted to take the moment to say her contrasting dress with Alesha for the Ukrainian flag colours was so great!
Hannah Waddingham is slowly becoming England's next national treasure. Her Emmy award winning work includes Ted Lasso amongst many things.
Graham Norton is an Irish TV host that has been synonymous with the BBC since I was a child in the early 2000s. He took over as Eurovision commentator when the late, great, Sir Terry Wogan passed away. He is also an out and proud gay man, and his self-named chat show is watched globally.
If you are interested in who did commentary, it was Graham Norton, and the amazing Mel Geidroyc. Mel has been doing TV as long as I have been alive and has mainly been a comedian and TV Host, synomous with the BBC. Mel, alongside best friend Sue Perkins, are both seen as national treasures in the UK.
The hosts go over the rules and Hannah does...an improv French piece? I don't know French so I can't translate that. It is then time for the first act.
I will not go over the post cards.
Austria - Teya and Salena - Who The Hell Is Edgar?
I love the backstory to this song. The producer had no idea who Edgar Allen Poe was! And so the song was born.
The song was bouncy, and it was like I was in the clubs in 2010. But unfortunately, it was nothing I had not heard before. It was generic pop, but that was not to say it was not bad!
The chorus was in my head all freaking night, and the girls choreography was fantastic and on full point. The bridge kinda dwindled the song for a bit and it went on a little longer for what it was.
The striking and contrasting colours of red and white were as equally memorable as the chorus.
Overall, solid entry but it's not quite one I think will win on any ESC.
7.4/10
Portugal - Mimicat - Ai Carocao
This song was a disappointment to be honest. I did like the cabaret and burlesque themes, but the crowd engagement and uniqueness never grasped me as much as I felt.
The crowd was into it and the dancers were into it, incorporating a lot of Latin and Portuguese dances - salsa, in particular.
Unfortunately, it was just not grasping enough to be a solid contender. If I saw this on a different night out in a Portuguese lounge, I would definitely be dancing away!
7.4/10
Switzerland - Remo Forrer - Watergun
I don't like ballads. I find them slow, tiring, and meloncholic for the sake of being meloncholic. And at the end of the song...I really enjoyed this! This was one of my top 3 songs of the night. I don't know why people did not enjoy it.
Reno's voice is strong and his presence for the stage at such a young age is incredible and I predict a strong future for him and possibly an ESC return in a few years time.
The irony of a Swiss man singing about not wanting to be a soldier made me laugh. But other than that, I really, really enjoyed this song!
8.7/10
Poland - Blanka - Solo
Ugh. This was BAD! I liked it on first listen but after re-listens...it did not age well. It's summer pop in a typical 2010 beat and unlike Austria, this song had nothing memorable.
It did not even have a solo! Points deducted!
It was just...not a good song. But hey, it's better than a certain song about to be played!
6.5/10
Serbia - Luke Black - Samo Me Si Spada
I...
This was the worst song of the night for me. The lyrics were incoherent mumbles into the microphone followed by unplugging dancers who did nothing for 90% of the performance?
I get he has a huge following online but I'm sorry, I'm not a fan. This incoherent mess of mumbles and bright lights was clearly Billy Eilish inspired, but it was so far off the mark. You can hear him panting into the mic as he sings, so clearly his endurance needs work.
One of the worst songs I have seen in ESC history including the UK's Embers song of 2021...
3/10
France - La Zarra - Evidement
The crowd needed an energetic ear worm after that...mess.
La Zarra delivered but was it too safe for France? France is known for some knock out hits in Eurovision in recent years...and I feel this was not one of them.
Whilst it was strong, it was not 2022, 2021, or 2018 France. Her dress sense and the bright, strobing performance contrasted her muted yet energetic performance.
And the crowd was really into it! Solid performance, but just a little too safe from Le Frans.
7.5/10
Cyprus - Andrew Lambrou - Break A Broken Heart
I'm not a fan of when a country outsources to another country, with a singer or band with heritage from that country. Case in point, Australian Andrew Lambrou who has Cypriot parents, performed for Cyprus despite being Australian.
However, this was a good little pop ballad. It was catchy, memorable, and this song felt like a chart hit. That being said, his performance did not feel heavy or had the gravity of a performer. It felt like a glorified karaoke performance in this regard.
But it was not a bad song! It was catchy, emotional, and definitely powerful.
7.4/10
Spain - Blanca Paloma - Eaea
This was a weirdly beautiful song, that felt like a dream sequence. The beat is clearly aboriginal or ancient Spanish, and the veil adds another level of entrigue. It is definitely folk inspired for sure.
It was soothing, but oddly creepy in the sense it was super atmospheric.
I don't know what to think of this song in all fairness.
6.7/10
Sweeden - Loreen - Tattoo
I am conflicted.
This is a good song, but Eurovision winner quality? No. It felt boring for a lot of it, and the Avant Garde pop elements and...whatever those nails were did nothing for me.
Loreen is stunning, and has an incredible voice for sure. But this did absolutely nothing for me, and was not a winning quality song.
Very catchy and memorable chorus, and the press machine she was in is very unique in terms of performance. But that is about it.
8/10
Albania - Albina and the Klemendi Family - Duje
This was a mess.
Everyone seemed lost, and the song had no clear direction. The backing singers looked bored, and it just felt so, so, so uninspired. I don't have many positive remarks about this song.
It's not Luke Black...that's about it.
4/10
Italy - Marco Mengoni - Due Vite
Ok. I'm not a fan of sad songs that are sad just because. It's one thing for every song in this contest to be a banger, but unfortunately you also have Luke Black (and no, I have about 100 Luke Black jokes to throw in here).
That being said, it might not be my thing, but the emotional outpour from Marco was something to behold.
It's not my thing, but I can appreciate it. That's 3 straight bangers from Italy with Måneskin, Mahmood, and now Marco - MMM.
7.7/10
Estonia - Alika - Bridges
I was not knowing what to expect...and then I saw the Piano and I got instant Amy Lee vibes. Amy Lee is one of my favourite vocalists of all time and Evanescence was me for...a long time.
As soon as Alike opened her mouth...goosebumps. She sounds so much like Alike, in fact, this track would not go amiss on an Evanescence album. It's just a beautiful song by a beautiful woman. The bright blue dress and self playing piano were symbolistic of this memorable performance.
Just a fantastically beautiful performance!
8.3/10
Finland - Karrija - Cha Cha Cha
I'm coming straight off the bat.
This is one of my favourite songs I have EVER heard on ESC. From dancing, to stage presence, to the blending of pop and metal to create this beast. The rapping in Finnish, and then the screaming cha cha cha...and then the hidden pop verse at the end, leading to the bridge...we will never have another song like this.
It felt like Til Lindermann of Ramnsteinn and Electric Callboy had a baby. This made me dance. It made me scream. And was the song of the night for sure.
Even the insane dancing fit!
How he was robbed I have no idea! This was an insane performance and joins Fairytale, Hard Rock Hallelujah, and Zitt E Buoni as my favourite songs ever performed at ESC.
9.8/10
Chezia - Vesna - My Sister's Crown
After Finland, I was not expecting a bop. But we got a bop!
I have a soft spot for well put together girl groups, and this is definitely a well put together girl group. It is an empowering, feminist song that has a lot of folk moments, rapping, great chereography and it was just a nice package.
I just wish it had a stand out moment. That was what really pushed me back on this song.
Also a very pink performance.
8/10
Australia - Voyager - Promise
I am coming in knowing who Voyager are. I was surprised and when they came to perform...I was very impressed.
It's a poppy song, and it is insanely catchy! But then halfway through the song, you get this brutal breakdown and an insane progressive riff from the female guitarist. Even the backing singing was great!
The set was all Night Rider themed and felt like I was going through a synthwave. It was just what we needed to continue after two straight bangers. Another freaking banger!
It even has a keytar solo!!!!
Pretty sure this is gonna be a Eurovision classic for years to come.
Oh oh oh ohohoh.
8.8/10
Belgium - Gustaph - Because Of You
This next performance is a little...ehhh for me.
But that does not mean I don't like it! It is just a little out of time for me. It seems like a hit that would do really well in the late 90s and early 2000s. In fact, I can see this song winning if it was earlier.
The beat is strong and the dress game is strong here.
Also as a side note; Gustav and Marco Mengoni did a really good job this year for the LGBT community. As a member myself, these two songs really were a great show!
7.7/10
Skit With Graham Norton
This is just classic UK cheese!
We catch back up with Graham in the commentary booth watching old Eurovision DVDs and he deliberately throws popcorn on the floor 🤣 it's just cheese to the maximum. Graham is a master of the cheese, and has made a career of it.
Skit with Mel Geidroyc
And now we get a weird skit where Mel Geidroyc is churning butter...I died from laughter 🤣🤣
Some great comedy relief all night long.
Armenia - Brunette - Future Lover
And now we get back into the pop train. And this was one of the better pop songs of the night (the best is yet to come). And like Luke Black, she begins laying down...and unlike Luke Black, she produces a good song.
Look, no hate for Luke at all but...come on!
Anyway. Back to Brunette. She goes from smooth to rap and then straight up pop. She channels her inner Serj Tankien here by experimenting in multiple voice notes.
And there is a dance break which is one of the better dance breaks of the night.
Overall, it's a good song but it's nothing special. We see one of these tracks every year.
7.7/10
Moldova - Pasha Parfeni - Soreli Si Luna
This is by far the best song that shows what Eurovision is about. It is full of Eastern European culture, a fantastic flute, two very cute (the one on the right in particular) and very energetic folk drummers slash dancers, and some really cool visuals. Some beautiful dancing and a powerful presence on stage.
I'm surprised this did not do better. Alongside Remo Forrer, I'm really surprised these hits got slept on.
I adore Pasha. And I really want to see him represent Moldova again in the future. Third time is the charm Pasha!
9/10
Ukaraine - Tvorchi - Heart of Steel
First of all, well done Tvorchi. Minutes before they went live, their hometown of Ternopol was invaded by Russia. I don't want to go into anymore, so I won't.
But this song...I was not a fan. Stefania blew me away, and Shum is an all time favourite ESC track for me. And this song failed to live up to either. But the vocals and visuals were very, very strong. Combining realistic VCG and SFX was one thing, but this felt like I was at a sci-fi DJ convention.
That being said, I was not a fan. It felt rushed and over produced with an emphasis on visual reactions and not auditory. I was just impressed they performed minutes after hearing the worst news of their life.
7.5/10
Norway - Alessandra - Queen of Kings
YASSS QUEEN!
I really enjoyed this song! From Alessandra's incredible singing and the hookworms - this is the catchiest song of the night. The dancing was on point, and the crowd was really into it.
Any other year, this would be a top 3 song. But this year was stacked. It was not 2021 stacked, but it was stacked. And she is so young! I see her bringing it home to Norway in the future.
Speaking of Norway, I hear a lot Alexander Rybak tunes in this. I now want a collav between the two.
The song could have done without that High note...
8.4/10
Germany - Lord of the Lost - Blood And Glitter
This is my style of music. Heavily Rammstein inspired, I would have preferred if Electric Callboy was in this spot but for what ever reason...it never happened.
But LotL still produced a banger. It has screams, growls, sweet and bitter notes...it was a nice little metal performance to kick the last leg of the night off.
I see why it did so poorly. But I am also hopeful Electric Callboy offer a Karrija style performance next year.
The outfits threw me off a bit however...
8.7/10
Lithuania - Monika Linkyte - Stay
Monika is great.
Her song however, was very mid. It comes across as an Adele esque song, and without the backing singers, I would knock a few points off. It's not that she had a bad night...I just think this was the wrong choice.
Especially as she had a banger in 2015.
The chorus (which I think is Lithuanian) was very catchy however. It was memorable for that and unfortunately, that alone.
I want to see Monika again. But sadly, I also see Lithuania dropping out due to bad results in recent years.
7.2/10
Israel - Noa Kirel - Unicorn
Pop song of the night.
If Karijja and Loreen did not compete...Noa would win. Hands down. Her song was everything a Eurovision audience loves. It was not my song of the night - Luke Black, that goes to you - but this was VERY close.
From the poppy vibes to the incredible dance break at the end (which she nearly broke into a straight out breakdown...)...she has everything a breakout star needs. I see her career going global after this. She was loads better then Netta who won a few years ago and still lost.
Just put that into perspective.
Great performance - the last great performance of the night.
8.8/10
Slovenia - Joker Out - Carpe Diem
I heard nothing but great things about Bojan. And I came into this contest wit high expectations. And...they were not met.
The song was great. Really well wrote. But it seemed like they were playing to the camera as opposed to the crowd. And I wish they involved them more.
But that being said, Bojan has charisma, a great voice, and his band are very involved too. I can see these guys having a Måneskin like career if they continue this direction. But Bojan could break out at any minute if you ask me.
I also think the song was a bit too safe for them. I was expecting a more...funkier beat. This just felt like a FIFA Soundtrack level song.
7.8/10
Croatia - Let 3 - Mama SC
I...
Look. I get this was a joke and sticking it to Putin but...
This was a straight up meme. A sh**post if you so wish. And I'm all for it but they threw away an entry.
The crowd seemed puzzled as well. As was I!
5/10
United Kingdom - Mae Muller - I Wrote A Song
Oh Mae...
You wrote a song, yes. But it was terrible. Song structure, chorus, your vocals...this was not the song, Mae.
Again, I am using my platform to criticize my countries internal selection process. It's about time you stop looking at TikTok and go to local and national talent shows, gigs, even festivals. Once again, the selection committee picking a preferred song from personal bias over talent.
I could go on and on.
But I'm also using my platform to say the dancers were wicked and I would take the blonde guys number.
Back to the song!
I was dissapointed especially after Sam Ryder in 2022...but I expected this. I'm sorry Mae, I hope your well!
3.9/10
Voting opens, we get a recap, I go for a pee
It is now time for the interval acts. During both previous runs, I missed these as I was probably on a booze run. So this was the first time I watched the interval.
Interval: Sam Ryder
I never listened to Spaceman last year, so this is my first exposure to Sam. And after watching his song before watching this...I was impressed!
This is the first act the UK has sent to ESC in years I enjoyed, and this song would have been a contender...if the selection committee ran it back. But nope.
This was a smooth, catchy song that was highly enjoyable! A good interval act. And that guitar solo was better then Blanka's non existing solo.
Also Roger Taylor!!! Love that man.
8.5/10
We get a little cameo by Jan Leeming, the host of Eurovision back when it was hosted in my neck of the woods in Harrogate, way before I was born!!
Julia then cuts a little bit with displaced Ukrainians under the protection of the United Kingdom. It's actually really emotional, and i was moved by it! So glad we could do this for them.
Timor then meets with Alesha and I am so proud of these Ukrainians who performed under such horrible circumstances.
Another recap, another shot of tequila
Interval: Liverpool Songbook NO RATING
As I was born in the North East if England, I don't like Liverpool. But the music that Liverpool has produced is numerous and plentiful. So it was only right ESC decided to honour Liverpool's greats.
I love these Collab intervals!
Mahmood is out first and covers Imagine by the late, great, John Lennon. I was not a fan of this cover, but the original I highly rate. So that might be why.
The song then smoothly transitions to Netta who covers You Spin Me Right Round, and I forgot how great Netta is. She might have performed this better then Dead or Alive. I call for all Netta fans to be called 'Nettles'.
Next is Dadi Fryer with Whole Again by The Atomic Kittens. So, when I was a kid, I refused to go to bed without this song being played.
How did my dad not know I was gay, I don't know.
Anyway. This was a great cover! As always Dadi, blows it away. One of my fave Icelandic acts.
We then gert Cornelia Jakobs covering I Turn To You by the studio MC...Mel C. She even looks a lot like Mel C here! I was never a fan of this song, but Cornelia makes it fun at the very least! Very 90s look here, and she plays with water in a white tank top. So props to her for being comfortable with that!
We then get the return of one of United Kingdom's greatest acts and someone I had the privilege of meeting in 2022 whilst on holiday - Sonia, with her song Better The Devil You Know.
This was way before I got into ESC, but I saw her perform this song. And this was tons better then seeing her live! Also, cute dancers.
And finally, we get Duncan Lawrence cover You Will Never Walk Alone - the theme song for the legendary Liverpool FC. The entire crowd sang along with this, and we were joined by many, many, many personalities including Go_A, Hannah Waddingham, Julia, Alesha Dixon, Graham Norton, and so many more. And this rendition actually made me cry. I never cry at music.
Worthy of note, on the BBC Broadcast, at the end of this performance, Mel Geidroyc spams 'Sonia' constantly.
Was pretty funny.
End of review
I won't bother reviewing the voting process, so thank you for reading my review! Before I go, I am handing out my awards;
The Johnny Logan MVP Award (best performer) - Karijja - Cha Cha Cha
Lordi Award For Best Headbanger (best metal or rock song) - Cha Cha Cha - Karijja
Best Solo Award - Promise - Voyager
Best Dance Break - Unicorn - Noa Kirel
Best Backup Dancers - I Wrote A Song - Mae Muller
The Alexander Rybak Award For Minimal Performance - Watergun - Remo Forrer
The Nil Pois Award For Worst Song of the Night - Sero Mi Se Spada - Luke Black.

Hello! I’ve recently got my requested days off of work, so I am good to go for my first trip to Costa Rica, and my first ever solo trip. 3 nights in La Fortuna, one night directly next to La Paz waterfall gardens.
1st day, plane lands around noon. Hopefully out of customs and in my rental car by 2-3pm and on my way to La Fortuna. My goal is to reach La Fortuna before dark. Once I arrive, I plan on just settling in for the night. Maybe get some dinner, walk the trail that’s on the property of my hotel.
2nd day: Wake up early, and head to La Fortuna Waterfall. I hope to be there at around 7am, stay for a couple hours, then head to El Salto rope swing for a few hours. After that, I’ll probably go freshen up at my hotel and then get a day pass to one of the hot springs for the rest of the night.
3rd day: I wanted to make this my adventure/excursion day. Not sure exactly yet, but I want to either do an Arenal volcano hike, white water rafting, zip lining, or ATV tour, or hopefully 2 of these in one day. Please, if you have any advice or suggestions for these, let me know! I ranked them in order from most to least important to me, so if you had a great experience doing one of them at La Fortuna, I’d love to hear about it.
4th day: Check out and be on the road by 8-9am to my next hotel near La Paz waterfall gardens. I plan to spend the whole day at the gardens before retiring for the night in my hotel. My original plan was to stay in La Fortuna for all 4 nights, but once I heard about La Paz, I decided I needed to make it apart of my itinerary, given I was trying to center this trip around seeing the natural beauty of CR. Plus, it’ll put me an hour away from the airport instead of 2 1/2. But, if you think I should change it back to 4 nights in La Fortuna, let me know. All my hotels are refundable still so if I need to change them I can.
5th and final day: Wake up, eat breakfast, and head back to the airport. Flights leaves at 1:30pm, so this final day is all about getting home safely and on time
I’m looking forward to everyone’s suggestions and feedback! I am beyond excited as I’ve never traveled to Costa Rica before, let alone by myself. I’ve fallen in love with this country but haven’t even been there yet. Please, even if it’s unrelated to my itinerary, I’d love to hear your input and comments about CR!

Please check part 1 and 2 for context.
The Tonpa Kingdoms Part 1 (Overview and The Gods) : worldbuilding (reddit.com)
The Tonpa Kingdoms Part 2 (The Kingdoms of Jangshun and Monyul) : worldbuilding (reddit.com)
Tsaparang
Tsaparang is a Kingdom to the east of the other Tonpa Kingdoms, it is marked by thick jungles and winding rivers, a small number of mountains dot the landscape to the west, on the border with Jangshun and Monyul.
The jungles of Tsaparang are known for their dense vegetation and towering trees, with rivers that cut through the landscape and create a network of waterways. The jungle clearings are dotted with small villages, where the people of Tsaparang live and work in harmony with nature.
The people of Tsaparang have learned to live with the challenges of the jungle environment, including the risk of flooding during the rainy season and the dangers posed by wild animals. Despite these challenges, the jungle provides a wealth of resources for the people, including medicinal plants, exotic fruits, and valuable timber. The villagers have developed their own unique way of life, with a deep respect for the natural world and a strong sense of community. They work together to maintain their homes and farms, and to protect the jungle from outsiders who might seek to exploit its resources.
The kingdom of Tsaparang was founded by a legendary warrior king named Raja Dhananj, who converted to Tonpa and united several smaller kingdoms in the area left over from the Indraprastha Empire under his rule, he named it after a fortress city on the border of Monyul that was essential to his victory, he eventually built a grand capital city on the banks of the Brahmaputra River, which he named after himself – Dhananjpur.
The city is a bustling center of trade and commerce, and soon became known throughout the region for its wealth and prosperity. Over time, Dhananjpur grew into a magnificent city, with grand palaces, beautiful temples, and bustling markets, the most famous of which is the floating markets called Jalbazaar.
Jalbazaar is situated on the banks of the Brahmaputra River, which flows through the heart of the district. The district is famous for its bustling waterways, where vendors sell their wares from boats and barges that are moored along the riverbank. The floating markets of Jalbazaar are a riot of color and activity, with vendors hawking their wares to eager customers. The markets sell everything from fresh produce and seafood to handicrafts and textiles. The markets are busiest in the early morning, when fishermen bring in their catch from the river and vendors begin setting up their stalls. The air is filled with the smells of spices, cooking food, and fresh flowers, creating a heady atmosphere that is unique to Jalbazaar. Visitors to the floating markets can sample a wide variety of local delicacies, including steaming bowls of spicy fish curry, crispy fritters made from lentils and vegetables, and sweet desserts made from coconut and mango.
To the west of Dannajpur lies the village of Pashupati, the village sits on the edge of a dense jungle, its thatched-roof houses built on stilts to protect them from flooding during the monsoon season. At the center of the village is an ancient temple dedicated to the Dharmist God Pashupati, said to have been built by a powerful Thakur long ago. However, the temple has fallen into disrepair over the centuries, and now it is overrun with large cats, both tame and wild. The villagers believe that the cats are the guardians of the temple, and they feed and care for them as best they can. Some of the cats are even considered sacred, and are allowed to roam freely throughout the village. Despite the presence of the cats and the fact that the villagers abandoned Dharmism for Tonpa over a hundred years ago, the temple is still an important place of for the villagers, the temple's crumbling walls are adorned with faded murals depicting scenes from ancient legends and there is a sense of mystery and magic that pervades the place. Outsiders aren't rare in the village as it sits along an important road between two cities, but the villagers are wary of strangers who do not respect the cats, the temple or their ancient ways. However, they are hospitable and generous to those who show the cats respect and kindness.
The second most populous city in Tsaparang is called Serindia, it is nestled in the heart of a lush green valley, surrounded by towering cliffs on all sides, this small community has long been known for its bustling markets and vibrant culture. At the center of town, stands a magnificent castle, home to the ruling family of Serindia. Built from the finest stone and marble, the castle boasts towering walls and a grand hall where the noble lords and ladies of the land convene to discuss matters of great importance. But it's not just the castle that makes Serindia special. Just outside of town lies a sprawling grove of wild mango trees, known throughout the region for their delicious, juicy fruit. Every year, travelers from far and wide come to Serindia to sample the famous mangoes and to attend the lively festivals that celebrate the town's bountiful harvest.
The Company of the Wind have a large office in Serendia as every year people request them to deliver these magnificent mangoes so often.
As you wander the winding streets of Serindia, you'll encounter a diverse array of merchants and craftsmen, each offering unique wares and trades. You might stop by the blacksmith's shop to watch as he expertly hammers out a new sword, or perhaps you'll visit the town's resident healer, who is renowned for her ability to cure all manner of ailments.
The kingdom of Tsaparang is renowned for its skilled craftsmen and artisans, who create beautiful textiles, intricate jewelry, and exquisite pottery. The kingdom is also famous for its fine cuisine, which blends the flavors of local spices with influences from neighboring regions. Tsaparang has been ruled by a succession of wise and just kings and queens, who are respected and loved by their subjects. The royal palace is a grand structure, with beautiful gardens and courtyards, and is home to a vast library that contained works of literature and philosophy from throughout the world. The kingdom of Tsaparang is also known for its military might, and its armies are feared by neighboring kingdoms. However, the rulers of Tsaparang prefer diplomacy and trade over war, and are respected for their ability to negotiate peaceful solutions to disputes, the most famous army regiment of the Kingdom is called The Jungle Snakes.
The Jungle Snakes is a feared and respected regiment of soldiers who are known for their unique and deadly combination of a large tower shield and a short spear, this is meant to emulate a snake striking from the foliage of the jungle while the large shield allows the user to strike from safety. The soldiers of the Jungle Snakes are expert fighters, they train in their own unique martial art which requires them to train in the use of whip-swords, a sword made with a flexible whip like blade, although relatively useless in a large scale battle these swords are deadly in one-on-one fights and it is believed training with them develops agility and hand eye coordination. The Jungle Snakes is made up of elite soldiers who are chosen for their physical strength, agility, and quick reflexes, they are fiercely loyal to their kingdom and their commanders, and are known for their bravery and determination in battle. The Jungle Snakes are key component of the Tsaparang army, and are often called upon to guard royalty in battle. Their unique weapon and fighting style make them a formidable opponent, and they are feared and respected by enemies and allies alike.
Tashigang
Nestled deep within a treacherous and barely hospitable mountain range lies the kingdom of Taishigang, protected by rugged terrain and guarded by fiercely loyal soldiers. The people of this kingdom are rugged and tough, accustomed to the harsh conditions of their environment and deeply connected to the land that sustains them.
The tallest mountain in the known world is nestled within its borders, it is a revered holy site believed to be the last place on Earth the physical forms of the Three Gods were seen.
Taishigang is named after the two main ethnic groups that reside in the area, the Taishi and the Gangparan, occupying the north-west and the south-east respectively, the Taishi are said to be early cousins of the Jangshun people who migrated into the area hundreds of years before and the Gangparan are a group of people who escaped from the fall of the Indraprastha empire by migrating to the mountains. The kingdom is ruled by a council of clan leaders, with one among them being High Chief and first among equals, these leaders are chosen by their clans for their strength, cunning, and wisdom and in turn these leaders choose one among them to be High Chief, these leaders make decisions that affect the entire kingdom, and they are known for their fierce loyalty to the land and the people. The economy of the kingdom is based on mining and lumber, with the rugged landscape yielding valuable minerals and timber. The inhabitants of the kingdom work as miners and lumberjacks, extracting these resources from the earth and using them to build their homes and defenses.
Taishigang is home to a religious order of healers called “The Order of Spring” who are a a highly respected group of monks, the members of this order are known for their extensive knowledge of herbal medicine and natural remedies, as well as their spiritual practices that are believed to aid in the healing process. The Order of Spring has a long-standing tradition of passing down their healing techniques and knowledge from generation to generation, ensuring that their skills and expertise are not lost over time they are highly revered by the people of Taishigang, who often seek their help when they are sick or injured. Due to the harsh climate and rugged terrain of Taishigang, the Order of Spring has developed unique healing methods that are tailored to the specific challenges of the environment. They are experts in treating frostbite, hypothermia, altitude sickness, and other ailments that are common in cold, mountainous regions.
The members of the Order of Spring are dedicated to their craft and often travel far and wide in search of rare and unique ingredients to use in their remedies. They are known to journey deep into the mountain ranges and even venture into neighboring kingdoms to track down plants and herbs that are believed to hold powerful healing properties. Despite their extensive knowledge and skills, the healers of the Order of Spring are humble and compassionate. They offer their services to anyone in need, regardless of their social status or wealth. It is said that their selfless dedication to healing has helped to foster a strong sense of community and trust within the kingdom of Taishigang. The capital city of Taishigang is called Dzonggar, which means "fortress on the mountain" in the ancient language of the region. It is situated on a massive mountain peak that is over 4,000 meters high, with steep cliffs and a treacherous climb to reach the top. The city is built on multiple levels that follow the contours of the mountain, with each level connected by steep staircases and winding paths. The uppermost level of Dzonggar is the highest point in the city and is home to the Dragar Dzong, which serves as the administrative center for the region.
The Dzong is an imposing fortress with thick walls, ornate carvings, and intricate murals depicting scenes from Tonpa mythology. The upper level is also home to several important temples and monasteries that offer stunning views of the surrounding mountains. As one descends the mountain, the levels become more densely populated with homes and businesses. The middle levels of the city are home to bustling marketplaces, where merchants sell everything from spices to textiles to pottery. The lower levels of the city are home to workshops and industry, where artisans create beautiful handicrafts using traditional techniques. The city's buildings are made of stone and wood, with sloping roofs to withstand heavy snowfall. The streets are narrow and winding, with small shops and homes perched on the edge of the mountain. Each level of the city is connected by steep staircases and winding paths, making navigation through the city a challenging but rewarding experience. Despite its rugged location and challenging terrain, Dzonggar is a bustling city with a vibrant culture.
The people of Dzonggar are known for their colorful textiles, intricate woodcarvings, and exquisite metalwork. The city is also famous for its festivals, which are held throughout the year to celebrate the changing seasons, important religious holidays, and the city's rich cultural heritage. The military of the kingdom is composed of skilled rangers and guerilla warriors, trained to navigate the treacherous mountain terrain and to use it to their advantage. The rangers are experts in archery and hunting, the most famous regiment from Taishigang is called The Mountain Demons.
The Mountain Demons are an elite fighting force said to be established by the Lhakpa dynasty, the Mountain Demons only take the tallest of warriors some are said to reach up to 2 meters high, when one is chosen they go on a diet of carbs and protein to gain body mass, their training regiment consists of lifting heavy things and running long distances carrying heavy boulders, in battle they carry massive heavy weapons like hammers, clubs and sometimes even heavy metal gloves. Taishigang is home to the famous Druk-Lha Tsham, the Dragon-Tooth Forest, an expansive woodland that stretches across the western part of the Kingdom. The forest is named after the imposing mountain range that rises up from the trees like the teeth of a dragon.
The forest is home to a diverse array of flora and fauna, including towering pine trees, colorful wildflowers, and a variety of wildlife such as deer, foxes, and even the occasional black bear, streams and rivers flow through the forest in the summer, providing water for the plants and animals that call it home. Despite its natural beauty, the Dragon-Tooth Forest is also home to danger. Bandits and outlaws are known to hide within its depths, preying on travelers who venture too far from the safety of the nearby villages.
The forest is home to the village of Kulik a unique place where the houses are built high among the trees, the villagers live in beautiful treehouses connected by a network of wooden bridges that wind their way through the forest. The houses are made from local wood and are decorated with carvings of animals and intricate patterns. Some houses have balconies where the villagers can sit and enjoy the beautiful views of the forest.
The village has a central meeting place where the villagers gather to socialize and discuss village matters, the meeting place is just outside the only stone building in the village, the Lalimamandir, said to be a stone temple dedicated to the Dharmist God Lalima but repurposed into the home of the ruling Gurung Clan, the Gurung, saw similarities between Lalima and Caihong, who after a lengthy purification process instead dedicated the building to The Mother but kept the original name to honour the builders. The villagers are self-sufficient and grow their own food in small gardens and farms scattered throughout the forest. They also hunt and fish in the nearby rivers and streams. The villagers are known for their hospitality and welcome visitors with open arms, inviting them to stay in their beautiful treehouses and share in their way of life.
The people of the kingdom of Taishigang hold a special reverence for Caihong for it is her practical ways that help them survive the rugged terrain. The people of the kingdom have a rich artistic and musical tradition, heavily influenced by their connection to the land and the animals. They are known for their intricate carvings, woven textiles, and colorful paintings, as well as their haunting music and dance.
Khotesh
Khotesh is a kingdom to the west, most of it is located in a vast and arid desert, with small portion of the Kingdom located on grassy planes and snow-capped mountains. The kingdom is known for its rugged terrain, with towering sand dunes, rocky outcroppings, and deep canyons. Most of its people are former nomads who converted to the religion of Tonpa and settled in one place, but there are still some nomadic people who travel with their herds across the desert. The people of Khotesh practice religion fervently, with Tonpa's teachings serving as the foundation for their daily lives. Their art and architecture reflect the influence of the Three Gods, with intricate carvings and paintings of Tonpa and his disciples adorning the walls of many buildings in the kingdom. The kingdom is ruled by a powerful monarch who resides in a grand palace in the capital city of Khanbalik. The palace is a majestic structure with domed roofs and intricate carvings, surrounded by lush gardens and fountains. Despite the harshness of the environment, the people of Khotesh have a rich cultural heritage. They are proud of their nomadic roots, and many still wear traditional clothing and practice traditional customs. The former nomads who settled in one place have formed close-knit communities, and their hospitality to travelers is legendary. Its capital city; Khanbalik is a built upon the grassy plains of the hills to the east of the Kingdom. The city is situated at the junction of several trade routes, which has made it a hub of commerce and culture. Its walls are made of wood and earth, with watchtowers at regular intervals to provide defense against raiders and invaders. The city is known for its harsh and unpredictable climate, with hot winds blowing in from the desert and cold winds descending from the mountains. These winds collide over Khanbalik, creating powerful storms that batter the city every autumn and spring. The storms bring heavy rains, lightning, and hail, making travel and trade difficult during these seasons, it is said that the sun-showers that regularly bathe the city in this time are a meeting of the Three Gods as the Sun, Wind and Rain are all aspects of Caihong, Druk-Ta and Daiden respectively, people often dance in the streets when a sun-shower happens. Despite the challenges posed by the climate, Khanbalik remains a vibrant and bustling city. The streets are crowded with people from all walks of life, from wealthy merchants to wandering nomads. The city is divided into districts based on trade and social status, with the grandest buildings located near the center of the city. The palace of the ruling Khan is one of the most impressive structures in Khanbalik, with ornate wooden carvings and sweeping roofs that curve upward like the wings of a bird. The temple district is also a popular destination for visitors to the city, with a variety of religions represented in the many shrines and sanctuaries.
Khanbalik is not only a bustling hub of commerce and culture, but it is also a melting pot of different ethnic groups and cultures. One of the unique features of Khanbalik is the seasonal influx of nomads who come to the city a few times a year during the changing of the seasons. As the seasons shift from summer to autumn and from winter to spring, nomadic herders from the surrounding grasslands and mountains make their way to Khanbalik to trade goods, socialize, and partake in the city's offerings. The changing of the seasons is a time of celebration and renewal, and the nomads play an important role in this cycle. During the autumn season, nomads bring with them fresh produce such as fruits, vegetables, and grains. They also bring livestock such as sheep, goats, and horses to sell in the city's markets. In turn, they purchase items such as tools, clothing, and other necessities that they cannot produce on their own. In the spring, nomads return to Khanbalik with wool, meat, and dairy products from their herds. They also bring with them handmade crafts such as felt blankets, rugs, and clothing, which they trade for goods that will sustain them throughout the summer months. The seasonal exchange between the nomads and the city-dwellers is an important part of the culture and economy of Khanbalik. It fosters a sense of community and interdependence between the different groups, and it has been a tradition for generations.
One of the most interesting places in Khotesh is the town of Rokhala, a town carved into a towering sandstone cliff that rises high above the surrounding plains, the town's location is strategic, as it is nestled in a valley along a popular trade route, making it a profitable place for a settlement, the entrance to the town is a narrow, winding path that cuts into the cliff face, providing a natural defense against invaders. The town is built in a series of caves and carved out of sandstone, with buildings made from the same material, the structures are connected by narrow walkways, staircases, and bridges that cross over the canyon below. The town has a unique charm with its rustic stone architecture and winding passageways that twist and turn, creating an intriguing labyrinth of alleys and streets. The town has a diverse population, including traders, craftsmen, and mushroom farmers who make use of shallow caves to grow them in.
The town is home to a massive sandstone mining operation that exports sandstone all over the known world, sandstone from Rokhala is seen in the Confucian Kingdoms to the East, the Dharmist Kingdoms to the South and even the Caliphist and Mazdan Kingdoms to the West. Another interesting sight in the deserts of Khotesh is Altan Gazar, a bustling caravan that travels in harmony with the seasonal migration of a massive herd of Ibex, tents and yurts, woven from the finest camel and goat hair, are packed up and loaded onto sturdy pack animals as the city prepares to move to its next destination, the inhabitants are skilled in the art of packing and unpacking, swiftly transforming their temporary dwellings into a well-organized mobile settlement. As the herd of Ibex moves across the arid landscape, guided by the keen eyes of the city's inhabitants, the nomadic city follows in its wake, the city's layout is flexible and adaptable, with a central encampment for the tribal leader and their entourage, surrounded by the dwellings of other important individuals and their families. Water is a precious commodity in the desert, and the city relies on natural springs and wells discovered along the migration route, the inhabitants are experts in locating and utilizing these hidden water sources, carefully managing their usage to sustain their community and animals throughout their journey, rainwater is also collected during rare showers and stored in large containers for times when water is scarce.
The Ibex is an integral part of life to Altan Gazar, most adults carry a drinking horn made of Ibex horn, Ibex meat is regularly consumed in the spring with various spices found in the semi-arid grassy plains of their spring migration pattern, Ibex blood is sometimes drunk when water is scarce, fermented Ibex milk is a regular drink among the adults and Ibex skins are worn during cold winter nights. The city's architecture is designed to be lightweight and portable, with structures made of woven mats, reeds, and mud bricks. The city's inhabitants are skilled in constructing and deconstructing their homes as they move, utilizing locally available materials. Life in the nomadic city is intertwined with the rhythm of the desert and the migratory patterns of the Ibex. The inhabitants have a deep bond with their animals, particularly camels, which are used for transportation, milk, and meat. The city is a hub of trade and commerce, with merchants and traders from nearby towns and villages joining the city's journey, bartering for goods and services along the way.
The army of Khotesh is renowned for its hardiness and combat prowess in desert conditions. The kingdom has a long history of fending off invasions and raids from neighboring regions, and its army is specifically trained to operate effectively in desert terrain. The soldiers of Khotesh are known for their ruggedness and resilience, with many of them hailing from nomadic backgrounds. They are skilled in mounted combat, with cavalry units comprising a significant portion of the army. These cavalry units are particularly adept at hit-and-run tactics, using their speed and mobility to strike quickly and then retreat before the enemy can respond.
In addition to cavalry, the army of Khotesh also includes infantry units that specialize in desert warfare. These soldiers are trained to navigate harsh terrain and extreme temperatures, and they are equipped with light armor and weapons that are well-suited for the desert environment. They are skilled in using terrain to their advantage, and are adept at setting ambushes and launching surprise attacks. One of the unique features of the Khotesh army is their use of desert animals in combat. The kingdom is home to a variety of animals that have been domesticated and trained for military purposes, including camels and falcons. Camels are particularly useful in desert warfare due to their ability to traverse long distances with little water, and they are often used to transport soldiers and supplies across the harsh desert terrain. Falcons, on the other hand, are used for scouting and reconnaissance, and are trained to locate and track enemy troops.
The most famous army regiment of Khotesh is called The Scorpions, they are renowned desert survivalists and lone assassins, but in times of battle they are called upon to form a vanguard for the ruling Khan or Khanum, alone they are formidable but as a unit they are immensely dangerous, they are expert hand to hand combatants and excel at short, light weapons like shortswords and javelins. Another famed regiment of Khotesh is called The Hailstones, they are a Camel cavalry unit who use shock cavalry tactics, their camels have two riders, a spearman on the front and an archer on the back, the camels are bred to be massive to carry out such a feat, the spearman on the front charges into infantry lines with the spear and then turns away from the enemy to line up another charge while the archer on the back fires into their ranks, it is a very effective tactic that has won many battles.

I am primary interested in getting Growing Up, available through the Pixel Pride bundle on Humble Bundle. And maybe also Super Lesbian Animal RPG while we're at it. I am however open to other offers.
Here is my IGSRep page
And a list of my available games:

• 198X
• 60 Seconds!
• 911 Operator
• A Story about my Uncle
• A Story Beside
• Aaero
• Absolver
• Acceleration of SUGURI 2
• Aegis Defenders
• AER Memories of Old
• Age of Wonders: Planetfall Deluxe Edition
• Ageless
• AI War 2
• Almost There: The Platformer
• American Truck Simulator
• Ancestor's Legacy
• Aven Colony
• Aviary Attorney
• Backbone
• Backbone
• Basingstoke
• Batman™: Arkham Origins
• Battle Chasers: Nightwar
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock Season One
• Bear With Me: Collector's Edition
• Beat Hazard 2
• Beholder 2
• Beholder x3
• Bit Blaster XL
• Blade Assault
• Blade Assault
• BlazBlue: Chronophantasma Extend
• Bleed 2
• Bombshell
• Book of Demons
• Boomerang Fu
• Boreal Blade
• Capitalism 2
• Carmageddon: Max Damage (F)
• Chasm
• Chess Ultra
• Children of Morta
• Colt Canyon
• Company of Heroes 2 - Whale and Dolphin Conservation Charity Pattern Pack DLC
• Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy
• Crazy Machines 3
• CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
• Crusader Kings II
• Crying Suns
• Cryofall
• Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla EX)
• Cyber Hook
• Dandara
• Dark Future: Blood Red States
• Darksburg
• Darkside Detective
• Darksiders 2: Deathinitive Edition
• Darksiders Genesis
• Darksiders III
• Day of Infamy
• Dead In Vinland
• Dead Island Definitive Edition
• Death's Gambit
• Deep Rock Galactic
• Desert Child
• Desperados III
• Dirt Rally 2.0 + 3 DLCs - (included H2 RWD Double Pack, Opel Manta 400, The Porsche 911 RGT DLCs)
• Disciples: Liberation
• Distrust
• DLC Frostpunk: THE RIFTS
• Do Not Feed the Monkeys
• Don't Escape: 4 Days to Survive
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• Dungeon Rushers
• EARTHLOCK
• ELEX
• Eliza
• Endless Legend - Tempest DLC
• Endless Legend 2x
• Endless Space - Collection
• Epic Battle Fantasy 4
• Epic Chef
• Eterium
• Etherborn
• Evan's Remains
• Fallout 1
• Fallout 76
• Family Man
• Felix the Reaper
• Fell Seal: Arbiter's Mark
• Figment
• Finding Paradise
• First Class Trouble
• First Class Trouble
• Five Dates
• Flat Heroes
• Fluffy Horde
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Forged Battalion
• Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
• Frostpunk
• Full Metal Furies
• Fury Unleashed
• Galactic Civilizations I: Ultimate Edition
• Galactic Civilizations III
• Gloom
• Golf Gang
• GoNNER - Press Jump To Die Edition
• Gray Matter
• GRID 2
• GRID: Ultimate Edition
• GRIP + 1 DLC - (included Artifex Car Pack DLC)
• Guild of Dungeoneering
• Gunmetal Arcadia Zero
• HackyZack
• Hand of Fate
• Hard Reset Redux
• Heave Ho
• Hellpoint
• Highway Blossoms
• HIVESWAP: Act 1
• Holy Potatoes! We’re in Space?!
• Horace
• Horizon Chase Turbo
• Hotshot Racing
• HunieCam Studio
• Husk
• I Am Not a Monster
• Ice Lakes
• Immortal Redneck
• Imperator Rome
• In Other Waters
• Interplanetary
• Iris and the Giant
• Jalopy
• Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
• Kaichu - The Kaiju Dating Sim
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Kingdom: New Lands Royal Edition
• Kona
• Kyle is Famous: Complete Edition
• Lara Croft GO
• Laser League
• Last Day of June
• Later Daters - Premium
• Lawn Mowing Simulator
• Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
• Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense
• Levelhead
• LiEat
• Little Misfortune
• Little Nightmares
• Lost Castle
• Love is Dead
• Mafia III & DLC
• Mages of Mystralia
• Main Assembly
• Maize
• Medieval Kingdom Wars
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• Men of War: Assault Squad 2 - Warchest Edition
• METAL GEAR SOLID V: Ground Zeroes
• Metal Unit
• Metrico+
• Metro Exodus
• Minit
• MO:Astray
• Molek_Syntez
• Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight
• Monstrum
• Moon Hunters
• Mordheim: City of the Damned (F)
• Morkredd
• Morphblade
• Moving Out
• Mr. Shifty
• NAIRI: Tower of Shirin
• NBA Playgrounds
• Nebuchadnezzar
• Necromunda: Hired Gun
• Neon Drive
• Neon Space
• NEOVERSE
• NeuroVoider
• Niche - a genetics survival game
• Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl
• Niffelheim
• Night Call
• Okhlos
• One Step From Eden
• Opus Magnum
• Orwell: Keeping an Eye On You x2
• Othercide
• Overgrowth
• Overload
• Paratopic
• Path of Giants
• Pathologic Classic HD
• Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
• Pesterquest
• Police Stories
• Pool Panic
• Popup Dungeon
• Project Warlock
• Punch Club
• Purrfect Date
• Raiden V: Director's Cut 雷電 V Director's Cut 雷電V:導演剪輯版
• Railroad Corporation
• Railway Empire
• Rapture Rejects
• Ratz Instagib
• Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
• Red Faction: Armageddon Path to War DLC
• Red Solstice 2: Survivors
• Regular Human Basketball
• Relicta
• Remnants of Naezith
• Resident Evil Revelations
• Retimed
• Rise of Industry
• RIVE
• Road Redemption
• Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder
• Rock of Ages 3: Make & Break
• Rover Mechanic Simulator
• Running With Rifles
• Sakura Spirit
• Samorost 2
• Satellite Reign
• Savage Lands
• Scanner Sombre
• Screencheat
• Scribblenauts Unlimited
• Seasons After Fall
• Sega Bass Fishing and Eastside Hockey Manager
• Serial Cleaner
• Seven: The Days Long Gone
• Shady Part of Me
• She Remembered Caterpillars
• Shenmue III
• Shenzhen I/O
• Shiness: The_Lightning_Kingdom
• Shining Resonance Refrain
• Shoppe Keep 2
• Shoppe Keep
• SIMULACRA 2
• SIMULACRA
• Sins of a Solar Empire: Trinity
• Size Matters
• Skully
• Sky Break
• Slash It 2
• Slime-san
• Smile for me
• Snake Pass
• Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
• Spin Rush
• Splasher
• STARWHAL
• Steel Rats
• Still There
• Stories Untold
• STRAFE: Millennium Edition
• Struggling
• Subterrain
• Sudden Strike 4
• Super Blood Hockey
• Super Cloudbuilt
• Super Magbot
• Super Magbot
• Super Rude Bear Resurrection
• Supraland
• Survive in Space
• Sword Legacy Omen
• Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
• Tabletop Playground
• Tempest: Pirate Action RPG
• The Adventure Pals
• The Bard's Tale IV: Director's Cut
• The Beast Inside
• The Division + Survival DLC
• The Dwarves
• The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
• The Hex
• The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut
• The Invisible Hours
• The Journey Down: Chapter Three
• The King's Bird
• The Messenger
• The Norwood Suite
• The Sexy Brutale
• The Stillness of the Wind
• The Swords of Ditto: Mormo's Curse
• The Turing Test
• The Warlock of Firetop Mountain
• The Wild Eight
• Them's Fightin' Herds
• Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales
• Tiny Echo
• TOEM
• TOEM
• Tokyo 42
• Tomb Raider
• Tower 57
• Townsmen: A Kingdom Rebuilt
• TrailMakers
• Train Station Renovation
• Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
• Tropico 5
• Truberbrook / Trüberbrook
• TSIOQUE
• Tumblestone
• Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
• Turok
• Underhero
• Upside Down
• Valfaris
• ValiDate: Struggling Singles in your Area
• Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
• Vane
• Verlet Swing
• Void Bastards
• Wandersong
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• WARSAW
• Warstone TD
• We Were Here Together
• When The Past Was Around on Steam
• Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
• Wildfire
• Witcher 1
• Wurm Unlimited x2
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds
• X-Morph: Defense
• XCOM 2
• Yoku's Island Express
• Yooka-Laylee
• Youropa
• Yuppie Psycho
• Zwei: The Arges Adventure
• Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection

Hi there, driving currently in Nicaragua in the north with small kids who are hating my attempts to walk towns and hike mountains... planning on going from Matagalpa to San Juan del Sur, and would like to break up the drive over a few days with a night at a nice AirConditioned hotel along the way... Any recommendations?
We're driving economy, no 4x4, so much of our wishes with the north trip have been washed away by the weather forecast. :)
I'm planning later weekend trips to some of the more common destinations recommended (granada, ometepe, masaya) so not sure if I should visit granada twice for example, or spend a night near masaya now just to go to the volcano at night and get back to a hotel nearby.)
starting to go crazy with options, so any advice welcome!

There’s a saying in my hometown: “Nobody leaves Copper Hill for good.”
For years, I’d mostly managed to defy it. In the decade that followed my graduation from Copper Hill High School, I hardly set foot in its vicinity.
Instead, I absorbed myself in my studies at an out-of-state university and, eventually, my career. I spent the little free time I had with my girlfriend, who I’d met as a sophomore in a chemistry lab, and her friends. When we eventually broke up, I lost not only her, but also what little social life I had.
It was in this state of loneliness that I found a letter from my old high school in the mail. This surprised me, as I hadn’t realized that anyone there even knew my current mailing address.
I opened the envelope to find an invitation inside. Its design was fancier than I’d expected, complete with gold-colored glitter, a royal blue background, and a finely-drawn silver border. It read, in cursive letters: Cheers for 10 Years! Zachary R. ___, Please Join Us for the CHHS Class of 2013 Official Reunion. It went on to list a start time and the school’s address.
On its back, it even contained a personalized handwritten note: I know you live far away, Zach, but it would mean so much to me if you can make the trip. Paul and I will be there, and Arthur may fly in as well. I’d love to catch up! Hope to see you soon – Vince K___, Co-Chair, CHHS Reunion Planning Committee.
Vince had been one of my best friends, once. You see, Copper Hill is one of those rare small towns where you can easily graduate from high school alongside the same friends you first made in kindergarten – in my case, my buddies Arthur, Paul, and Vince.
I’d spent most of my youth with them. The four of us were in the same scout troop, played on the same sports teams, and took mostly the same classes. On weekends – and on weeknights, when we felt like sneaking out without permission – we often stayed up late together playing video games and drinking whatever cheap beer we managed to keep hidden from our parents.
We’d meant so much to each other once. So why, since graduation, had I neglected them so badly? I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d talked to any of them.
Perhaps this reunion could serve as an opportunity for me to reignite friendships I’d let fade. At a minimum, I knew that spending time – even just one evening – with my old pals would do me a lot of good, especially considering how lonely I’d been lately. Accordingly, I resolved to attend.
~
By the time I reached Copper Hill, I was an hour behind schedule due to congestion caused by an accident. As I approached town, I observed amidst the fading evening light that it appeared even quieter and more deserted than I remembered. Bars that had reliably drawn decent crowds on a Friday night ranged from boarded-up to barely occupied. Meanwhile, the few other cars on the street drove lethargically at speeds far below the limit, and I spotted no pedestrians.
In my memory, the school was only a short distance from the courthouse, city hall, and post office that formed most of ‘downtown,’ but my GPS took me down a long, unfamiliar route bordered on both sides by tall cornfields. I was about to pull over and double-check the address I’d entered when, sure enough, my headlights illuminated a sign in the school’s distinct black and red colors that stated: CHHS: Home of the Patriots.
The brick building that loomed behind it was just as I remembered, from its tall, towering middle section to the two narrower wings that stretched out to the left and right. Through the rectangular windows that lined the main building, I made out indistinct, shadowy figures milling about inside.
A banner displaying Welcome – 10 Years – CHHS Reunion stretched over the stairs that led to the main entrance. Underneath it, a familiar figure scurried towards the main entrance. “Arthur,” I said to myself with a smile.
Seeing Arthur improved my mood. He was the only other member of our class to leave town after graduation, and I suspected that he might share somewhat of an outsider status with me.
It’ll be just like old times, I reassured myself as I approached the building. Strangely, though, it still didn’t feel that way.
For one, the air had a staleness to it that was difficult to describe. It felt artificial and thin such that, as I climbed the front steps, I found myself needing to breathe in more of it than usual to avoid getting winded.
Plus, the school’s location still seemed off somehow. It didn’t make any sense – it’s not like a building this large could have been relocated. But, amidst the eerily quiet surrounding countryside, everything felt more isolated and remote than I remembered it being.
I tried to stop worrying. After all, with any luck, I’d soon be laughing and reminiscing with old friends who’d be happy to see me.
Inside, balloon garlands, multicolored streamers, triangle flags, and small banners welcoming attendees decorated the main corridor. I observed tables stocked with snacks, pamphlets, and information about fundraisers.
The only noise came from the intercom, which planned an era-appropriate Calvin Harris song. Everything necessary for a reunion was there, with only one notable exception: the people.
As I approached an unmanned table marked “Check In,” I wondered where everybody had gone. Perhaps the event had moved to a different room? I was late, after all.
As I added my signature to a sign-in sheet, my eyes scanned the list of other attendees who were marked as having already arrived. I recognized many names on it.
Like Alice, who’d shared a stand with me in orchestra. Our conductor was a hard-ass, a real disciplinarian who snapped at us constantly, and Alice was one of the many students he’d driven to tears on a semi-regular basis.
I’d had this petty fantasy of comforting her after class, and then mustering the courage to ask her out. But I never did it. It was Vince, actually, who’d ended up with her.
That had always annoyed me. I’d confided in Vince about how I felt about Alice and, soon after, the two of them were together. It felt as frustrating as it sounds. But, oh well, that’s what I get for hesitating for as long as I did.
Drifting down the hallway, my eyes caught the words “Reception” displayed over double-doors that led to the gymnasium. It made sense as the main location for the event – that’s where homecoming, prom, and plenty of major sports events were held, after all.
I could hear chatter, laughter, and the loud thump of dance music just beyond the gym doors. I approached it excitedly.
But, when I stepped inside, all the noise instantly cut out, leaving me in an eerie silence. Even more perplexingly, the room before me, like the entrance corridor, was entirely devoid of people.
A party had just been here, no doubt. I spotted a makeshift bar stocked with a standard assortment of liquor, tables holding half-finished drinks and refreshments, and an area cleared for a dance floor in the room’s center, but there were no people around. Had I missed everyone again? Where had they gone?
“Hello?” I called out, to no avail, as I drifted around the room in a state of bewilderment.
As I did so, I came across the entrance to the boy’s locker room. Just a whiff of the musty, sweaty smell emanating from it unlocked long-buried memories of the time I’d spent in there.
I remembered one occasion, in particular, where Paul had gotten pissed at me. Paul was usually a pretty low-key guy, but when he lost it, he went wild. On that particular occasion, he’d been angry with me, hadn’t he? But why?
I recalled his hot breath as he got in my face and screamed at me. When I gently nudged him away, he responded by slamming a locker door into my head.
My memories from that moment forward were hazy. There was a growing pool of blood, the pain of his fist against my cheek, and the cheering of the classmates who had encircled us. They were egging us on to continue the ‘fight,’ as if my beating could be called that.
I hadn’t thought about this event in years. How could I have forgotten something like that? My mind churned in confusion. Feeling dizzy, I took a seat on a bench that appeared to be part of a crude photobooth setup as my mind continued to replay this repressed memory.
As Paul had continued to pummel me, I’d spotted Vince among the gathered crowd. I’d begged for him to intervene. But neither he, nor our strangely absent instructor, had done anything to help me. It was only when Arthur got between us that Paul had reluctantly cooled off.
It had taken weeks for those bruises to heal. Had Paul ever been punished for it, or even apologized? Surely he must have. We’d remained friends, after all.
A strange pressure around my shoulder and a sudden bright light jolted me back to the present. The flash on the camera facing the bench I was sitting on had…gone off, somehow, even with nobody around to operate it. How was that possible? Maybe it was automated to go off every so often?
It didn’t make sense, just like so much else that was happening. Where was everybody, and whose voices had I been hearing? I’d seen people from the road, and I’d even watched Arthur come inside, but, as far as I could tell, the event was deserted.
I texted Arthur asking if he’d found anyone. For all I knew, he could have changed his number in the many years that had gone by since I’d last used it, but I figured it was worth a shot. To my relief, he responded right away.
Hey man, long time no see! Paul just called me. He says everyone’s up on the third floor, in Mr. Minelli’s old room. I’m on my way there now. Meet you there soon.
I couldn’t fathom why the entire event would relocate from the area clearly designated for it to the third floor. There wasn’t much up there, after all, aside from classrooms and a few administrative officers.
Nonetheless, I resolved to head up there. Arthur was there, after all, and hopefully the rest of my friends would be as well.
Navigating off my memory of the building’s layout, I hopped up a small set of steps that connected the gym to the second floor. From there, it would just be a short walk past a few classrooms before I’d arrive at the central staircase, which would take me to my destination.
I’d never seen the school quite this gloomy before. Each footstep echoed through the halls. The classrooms were weirdly empty, too, bereft of any decorations or other signs of use.
I recognized one as my calculus classroom. I remembered how, after class had ended one day, I’d come across a group of students congregating in the hallway.
Mary, Michelle, and Abby, like so many of my classmates, had grown up with me, and I’d always gotten along with them. But that day, they were harassing a shy girl – Morgan, I think. Calling her all sorts of names – ‘slut,’ ‘whore,’ ‘bitch’. She was trying to get away from them, but they wouldn’t let her leave. Their taunting of her became a regular thing, and it often left Morgan in tears.
What ever happened to Morgan? Like most of my friends, I’d known her since I was a little kid. She was quiet, but she was perfectly nice.
Then, one day, gossip about her started to spread. The type of nasty, embellished rumors that often make their way through high schools, full of sexist undertones and double standards. Her former friends shunned her, and she’d been subjected to taunting and ridicule as she walked to class and sat alone at lunch. And, one day, she was just…gone. I’d always assumed that her family had moved away, but was that true?
Growing up, Mary, Michelle, and Abby had always been sweet girls. I’d never seen them treat another person the way they’d treated Morgan. But Copper Hill High School had a way of bringing out the worst in people. There was just something about this building, this place, that ate away at their – at our – souls.
Had I bullied Morgan, too? Maybe not, but, once her mistreatment started, it’s not like I’d made an effort to be kind to her, or ever invited her to sit with me and my friends in the cafeteria. I could have done more.
I reached the central staircase. With each step that I took up towards the third floor, a feeling of dread ran through me. I’d seen something terrible happen up here, hadn’t I?
It was Paul and Vince. Arthur had done something to offend them. It could have been the rumors spreading about his reasons for never having a girlfriend, his diminutive size, or the way he’d reacted when Paul had beaten me half to death.
Whatever the reason, Paul and Vince – without my knowledge – had decided to subject Arthur to a cruel prank. After school one day, they’d lured Arthur up to the third floor, where they’d taken hold of him and tried to wedge him into his own locker.
Now, there’s a reason this sort of thing occurs primarily on 90s sitcoms: most people simply can’t fit inside of a locker. Arthur, as short and skinny as he was, turned out to be no exception, but this only made things worse for him.
As Arthur later related to me, Paul and Vince laughed rowdily as they slammed him repeatedly into the metal frame. By the time they finally relented, Arthur had bruises all over his body.
There were other horrible acts, too. Other victims, other beatings. It dawned on me that this place had been an absolute hellhole. It’s no wonder I – and Arthur, too – had gotten as far away from it as we could at the first opportunity.
The peculiar thing was that, in the years that had passed, I’d somehow forgotten all of this until just now. Instead, my recollections of high school were all happy, all positive. Had false memories of camaraderie and friendship drawn Arthur back as well?
Finally, I reached the third level. The overhead fluorescent light fixtures flickered sporadically, revealing, in brief spurts, dilapidated lockers, litter, and layers of dust and dirt that coated the floor.
I approached Mr. Minelli’s classroom. Through the shaded hallway window, I could discern the outlines of roughly a dozen figures inside. I heard a voice, too. It was muffled and indistinct, but I could tell that the speaker was giving some kind of speech. She stopped, and a loud round of applause followed.
I reached for the door handle, unsure of what to expect. Hopefully, it would just be the people I’d driven four hours to see. But, after the events thus far, I half-expected the room to be empty. If so, I was jumping ship and going home.
To my surprise, just before I made contact with it, the door slowly opened on its own. The brightly-lit room before me was filled not with people, at least in the general understanding of the word. Rather, the still, bony forms before me resembled the kind of props a biology teacher might use to teach human anatomy.
The skeletons that stood silently throughout the room – that stood posed with drinks, that sat at desks, and that had assembled around a speaker - had to be props, right? Even though Mr. Minelli was a history teacher?
My mind searched desperately for some kind of explanation. This had to be an elaborate prank, right? Had Vince and Paul lured me, and maybe Arthur, too, out here just to freak us the fuck out? I wouldn’t put it past them – it’s precisely the kind of thing they’d do, even if the whole set-up, complete with an array of prop skeletons, was a bit extreme.
But, then, who was making all the noises I’d been hearing? Was that part of the prank, too?
Fuck it, I thought. If this was a big gag at my expense, then I’d just have to deal with the embarrassment later. I was getting out of there.
“Zach,” called a strained voice in the hallway.
“If this a joke, then it’s not-”
The voice interrupted me. “Zach, help me, please!” It was Arthur’s voice, and it was coming from the hallway nearby.
He sounded like he was in serious trouble, so I hurried after him. Eventually, I found myself in a corner of the hallway – one where, if I remembered correctly, he and I used to have lockers. But, once again, I found myself alone.
I yelled out his name several times: “Arthur! Arthur!” It was no use. I appeared to be at a dead end.
That’s when the locker next to me shook. I jumped back, surprised.
It was shut, but not locked. I gripped the handle and pulled it open.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw inside: it was Arthur’s torso. The rest of his body was gone, and something was dragging what was left of him further away, further back into a dark abyss where the wall should have been.
Blood gurgled out of his mouth as he gasped my name one last time. He reached out a blood-covered hand. Hoping to somehow pull him out, I tried to take it, only for whatever unseen force had taken hold of him to pull him away, leaving behind a wide hole in the back of the locker. More blood gushed through it, leaking onto the hallway floor.
“So glad you could make it,” said a monotone voice behind me. I whirled around to see two fleshy arms emerge from another locker across from me. The skinless figure left wet, red stains on the white surface as she got to her feet and stepped towards me. “Don’t you recognize your old crush? Surely ten years haven’t been that rough on me.”
“A-alice?” I stuttered, stepping backwards.
Lockers all around me started opening, each accompanied by a new pair of bloody, seemingly boneless arms of figures that slowly crawled outwards.
My survival instincts kicked in. I sprinted away, my legs frantically carrying me towards the main staircase. All around me, figures emerged, reaching out to me as I passed by. Through an open door, I noticed that another classroom was filled with skeletons, just as Mr. Minelli’s had been.
When I reached the main staircase, it was guarded by a tall, fleshy figure. “Don’t you want to be with us?” it asked in a familiar, deep voice that I knew to be Paul’s. “We can be complete. A full class. All of us, together again. Like old times.”
He lurched for me. Just barely, I managed to dodge him, but I lost balance in the process. Before I knew it, I was tumbling down the stairs. Pain shot through me as I collided with step after step.
Finally, I landed on a level surface. Dizzily, I climbed to my feet and did my best to ignore the soreness that spread throughout my body.
A quick glance upwards confirmed that the bloody figures – the ones that somehow resembled my old classmates – were, indeed, heading towards me.
Meanwhile, the temperature inside was rising noticeably, and the walls around me were steadily changing in color from a dull gray to a deep red.
As I scrambled down the rest of the stairs and across the main corridor on the first floor, an intense tremor ran through the building, sending me sprawling to the ground. Despite a sharp pain that spread through my ankle, I hobbled as quickly as I could to the exit.
I didn’t look back as I made my way across the parking lot to my car. I started the ignition, backed out, and headed towards the long road I’d used to get there.
In my rearview mirror, I chanced a glance back at the school. It was shaking violently, like it was being struck by an earthquake.
My car lurched in different directions as the ground underneath me also started to rumble. In an effort to avoid my car being sent off the road and into the neighboring fields, I frantically steered it to the center, between the lanes heading into and out of town.
When I looked back again, the school was, somehow, even closer to me than it had been before. How was that possible? Was it following me?
I floored the accelerator. Row after row of cornfield flew by me as I drove at the fastest speed of my life.
~
I was on the edge of town, close to the nearest interstate ramp, when local police pulled me over.
As the officer approached me, I stared into the rear view mirror. At the first glimpse of whatever it was that had chased after me, I’d hit the road again, law enforcement be damned. In truth, I hadn’t seen my pursuer since I’d exited the cornfield a few minutes ago, but I hardly felt safe.
“Clocked you going nearly a hundred, son,” said the officer.
I stayed silent. My baffled self was unsure of how to best handle the situation.
The officer gave me a quizzical look as he examined my ID and registration. “You’re Don and Fran’s son, aren’t you? The one who left town?”
I nodded.
“Why’d you come back?”
“There was, uh, a ten-year reunion. For my graduating class.”
He shook his head. “I doubt that.” He looked down, then at my perplexed face. “Where, exactly, was this ‘reunion’?”
“At the school,” I said. I struggled to understand his reaction. What about my story didn’t make sense? And, regardless, was I about to be booked for driving fifty miles over the speed limit? Is that something they throw you in jail for?
“Wait here,” barked the officer. He went to his car where he proceeded to have a long conversation over his radio. After a few minutes, he returned to me. “Get out of here, son. Leave, and don’t come back. Don’t do something like this again. You hear me?”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine,” I said, astonished.
“Then scram,” he ordered.
I obliged and began the long journey home.
~ I had no idea what to make of what occurred. I can hardly find anything at all online about Copper Hill High, or any of my classmates who went there, and I’m not exactly eager to reach out to any of them.
I can’t make much sense of what happened, but I am sure of one thing: that I barely made it out of that situation, and that I shouldn’t press my luck much further.
My ankle needs some more time to heal. Once it does, I’m going to try joining a social club and making new friends. After what happened to me in Copper Hill, I decided that the past is not a place where I need to dwell any longer.
Two weeks have passed since the reunion. Today, an envelope with no return address arrived with my mail. It contained a single photograph on glossy paper with a short note written underneath.
The photo featured me on the bench in the photo booth. Sitting to my side, with his arm over my shoulders, was Vince. He wore a blue collared shirt and looked…normal. No missing skin, no bloody imprints on the surface around him.
Paul crouched behind us, a dopey grin on his face. He, too, looked just as I’d imagined he would in his late twenties. To Paul’s right, Abby, Morgan, and Michelle posed together with their arms around each other.
It was…a perfectly ordinary image - the exact kind of photo you’d expect to be taken at an event like that.
The handwritten caption underneath read, “Although your visit was briefer than we preferred, we all had a splendid time catching up with you, Zach! Please feel free to come by anytime! Nobody truly leaves Copper Hill, after all. – Vince K___, Co-Chair, CHHS Reunion Planning Committee.
P.S., the note continued, We are delighted that Arthur has finally joined us. Maybe you will, too, at our 20th.
The writing up to this point was cursive font in traditional black ink. The last few words, however, were larger in size, messily scrawled, and colored a deep shade of red: See you then, buddy, if not sooner.
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