This is only the introduction and first body paragraph. Please critique my work and tell me how i can shorten my ideas!!🙏
“It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with the experiment, it's wrong.” (Richard Feynman) This quote portrays that even the most coherent hypothetical is insignificant if its applied result strays from the theory. It is for this reason all scientific reports require a “percent error.” An experiment can debunk a theory however the opposite is not true, tainting the integrity of idealized theories. To many, this quote may seem illogical. Afterall, accounting for all factors within an experiment will result in a completely accurate theoretical value. For complex systems, however, this simple statement is impossible to justify. Even missing the most minute details can completely modify the result. It is for this reason, chaos theory, came to fruition. Chaos theory is not a hypothesized prediction, but rather a lack thereof. It accepts the incalculable distortions of reality and rejects the idea of simplification. Chaos theory is the acceptance of unpredictability. Micheal Crithon explores the reality of chaos and the disillusionment of an idealized future in his book, Jurassic Park. Crichton demonstrates how Galilean simplification of a complex system will result in an idealization of results. These theoreticals are quickly proven inaccurate by the unpredictability and complexity of nature's reality. The practical application of chaos theory juxtaposed to idealized predictions is demonstrated by the simplification of the park model, the underestimation of the dinosaurs' dominancy, and unanticipated human error.

Simplification of an intricate system will result in the inability to accurately predict results. This is often referred to as galilean idealization, in which a scientist schemetizes a theory to make it computably traceable. Although functional in isolated experiments, a realistic, complex system requires chaos theory’s limitless factorization of events and details to predict an accurate future. Jurassic park’s faulty park model demonstrates how Galilean idealization of reality facilitates failure. More specifically, the park shows its incompetence through the ‘computer tally’ in which the heavily automated model is revealed to be ideally simplified, therefore inaccurate. The number of dinosaurs jump from “238… [to] 292” (Crichton, 181-184). It’s revealed that Ingen entered an “expected number of animals… to make the counting process faster” (182), a form of simplification that identifies with galilean idealization. As a result, workers of Ingen inadequately assessed the control they had over dinosaurs' complicated nature. This form of idealizing the results developed into a miscalculation of reality, demonstrating how complex systems cannot be automated as chaos greatly diverges from expectations. Disorder continues to worsen as park mechanics fail due to human error, causing the protective fence to malfunction. The fence “wasn’t electrified anymore” (205) allowing a T-rex to grip and flatten it, threatening the lives of the protagonists, rather than providing an enjoyable show as expected. Circumstances where the fence could break such as weather, human error, or defections were not considered for the sake of simplicity. Correspondingly, a back up or fail safe was not created, variables that would have been added if chaos theory’s unpredictability had been embraced. Predictions of optimal futures without accounting for the truth of complex boundaries demonstrated how simplifications taint the integrity of a hypothesis. Crichton continues to argue this, describing the various amounts of bugs present in the park. “The animal feeding program reset itself every twelve hours, not every twenty-four… and would not record feedings on Sundays… card operated doors cut out whenever main power was lost”(157) these issues continue “page after page” (158). Despite this, park owner John Hammond, faithfully labels these malfunctions as “a minor detail”(154) and disregards their importance for simplicity. These seemingly ‘insignificant’ flaws within the park’s mechanics eventually couple together, making Hammond’s idealized hope for the park to be ravaged by the truth of reality and chaos. Ultimately, these unexpected events demonstrate how an idealized simplification of a complex system cannot provide an accurate depiction of reality. Nature's impulsivity requires consideration of all factors, otherwise, reality will deviate from an individual's predicted ideals. 

Forgive me, I am going to rant and scream into the void while I deal with my guilt and frustration. I don't care if this gets taken down, burned or deleted. I NEED TO RANT AND SHOUT. I know I am a bootyhole for exploding. But her behavior lately made me lash out and I am not proud of it. I just need to get this out and I want her to see just how ducked up she is.
No she will never find this because 1. She hates reddit cuz it's all "Fake". 2. She doesn't like social media drama posts or readings - whatever people who read reddit drammas are called. Redditoperas!
This is the only Reddit thing I like and have ever joint or posted to.
Alright. Deep breath.
I Susan (29F) have a cousin Georgette (27F all names are changed) and I absolutely love her, she is practically my little sister, we grew up together and we literally live in the same area (I can walk to her apartment complex by walking through a shared public park) and we interact with eachother constantly. And she emotionally Dumps on me. CONSTNTLY.
She is the female embodiment of lost potential, entitled and lazy spoilt brat. She is smart but so very dumb and lazy. Now mind you she wasn't always like this. In fact when we were in highschool she was the complete opposite. Hardworking, determined, popular with people. It feels as if she peaked did a 180 and then came crashing down the second she turned 21 and had to deal with the real adult world.
This saturday while we were doing our usual dinner and fun night with our friend group which includes my husband Dansen (30M), my cousins Georgette and her older bother Jerry (32M), and two other dudes Kramer (30M) and Elliot (30M) (6 in total).
We all grew up together, went to the same schools and such and funny enough we all still live in the same neighborhood/area but in different appartment complexes and townhomes. That night we were at my Townhome. The men in our group were watching Seinfeld (this is important) and eating pizza, while Georgette and I got into the conversation of her weekly woes. She was complaining loudly and kept interrupting everytime I tried to speak.
Now mind you I am not a patient person, however with Georgette I usually bottle my opinions on her woes and keep my mouth shut, because 1. I don't want to offend her and 2. She is family. I'm not her mom to be telling her what to do, I know.
Despite the rant coming up, she is family, we've been through thick and thin, and I know I'm an arse for blowing up at her and ranting about her life. But something about this week, the stress, her attitude and I-don't-know-what-else-made-me-blow-up. Maybe I was overstimulated because it was loud and I was tired, maybe I just needed to unload on something, I don't know but this is what happened.
In the middle of Goergette complaining about how people look down on her, "the poor nerd" and "The little guy", her parents, her relationships, I snapped. It felt like a tea kettle building up steam until it shouts. So of course I shouted "Will you just Shut up?! I don't want to hear you complaining about your life right now, literally all the problems in your life are your own damn fault! You are just an incompetent loser of a child who thinks the world owes her something because "reasons!" First of all - "
I basically pointed out, complaint by complaint in a rant on how everything is her own fault. Forgive the paragraph of word vomit. The points here are her complaints and my thoughts on the matter, the things in parenthesis are things that I shouted in the middle of my ranting. Yes it was recorded. No I'm not sharing. I'm just writing what I said and screaming into a void.

1. She is sad and lonely because she's single after a 2 year relationship and she misses her ex, terribly. (First of all, that is YOUR fault. GIRL you literally broke up with your boyfriend because YOU, yes, YOU wanted to save face. Becase YOU are so insecure you thought his own sister was a random girl who was trying to "steal" him away from you. That "Oh he likes that ugly girl who is prettier than me, look at the way he hugs her" and "who does he think he is" and that he "looks down on me cuz I'm short and brown". He doesn't by the way, he was willing to stay with you despite all your faults, he genuinly liked you and you dumped him because you cant stand being wrong, but noooooo "he's so booooring. commitment is so boooring, i can't do anything wah wah. You kept being weird with your sister!" and now all of a sudden 2 weeks after breaking up, now that hes gone he's suuuuddenly the "lOvE oF mY LiFe" and the "oNe tHaT gOt aWay! I mEssEd Up sO bAd!! WAH!" baby girl, whose fault is that? You left him! That was your own Damn Fault!! Who the hell wants to date a girl let alone be in a relationship with someone that dumb?)
2. How no men will date her and how all men are trash. ( No one wants you because you are trash! Your attitude is trash! Your personality is trash! Men can't handle me because "I'm a 10", girl you aint a 10. You are an arrogant insecure egotistical maniac who thinks shes a 10 when in reality you're a 3 at best - You literally complain that no one wants you when you literally lie and shoot yourself in the foot. "It's because I'm a nerd!" No, it's because you are an ass, "If they don't like me at my best" is bull crap. They should love me for me, is bull crap, you are all the reasons why no one wants you and you always give way less than the other persons best. You are never at your best, your best is the worst possible thing. You complain to your partner "I'm extroverted I need attention and sunlight" but then when they want to take you out you whine that you wanna stay home and order take out. What the hell is your idea of a good time? Eating nachos in your underwear while watching Bridgerton? Whining about how other people are fake for posting their vacations on facebook? You want people to see that you are "successful" online but then bitch when people know that you are a actually a shut in with bad money. You tell people you are a teacher with a princeton diploma to impress them and then whenthat bites you in the ass, you are too embarrased to admit you are an in debt college dr out part time worker influencer wannabe who still lives with her Mommy and Daddy. So then you start blame to make yourself feel better. You feel entitled to everything because you blame everything. Blame, blame, blame. I can start a whole communist party parade with all the red flags you have. It's not like your the problem, it's not like you make your own problems, you are absolutely perfect and fine just the way you are! The world owes you something because you are Georgette Middlename NolastName. The perfect princess! You're not. You're just a spoilt brat who gets a scott free ride because your parents are too afraid to admit they are failures who didn't raise you right. You don't deserve the amount of praise people give you.)
3. How she can't lose weight even though she is "trying". No she is not trying, she weighs 375lbs and is gaining more weight. (Whos god damn fault is thaAAAAAAAAAT?? Not that there is anything wrong with being plus sized or overweight - Shit who am I to talk, I'm plus sized. Although my BMI - Which has been proven to be BS by the way says I'm "obese" I still make an effort to be healthy! I dont care if people think I'm fat, I like my size and my body. So does my husband. At least I'm not pretending to lose weight and be healthy while shoving a chocolate cake shake in my mouth! There is a huge difference between being body positive or health concious vs someone constantly saying "I'm going to acheive this goal" without actually taking any steps to acheive that goal and making the situation worse. It's like an alcoholic saying "I'm trying to quit drinking" while they are downing tequila shots. No - Girl you aint trying. Not even close. You've been paying for an LA Fitness gym membership for over a year and you never go because you are too tired, you want to play games or do a make up totorial that you never going to post. Working out makes you sweaty and uncomfortable and doesn't " actually help you lose weight, it's all in the food". COME ON. You don't even try to eat healthy because healthy food tastes yucky and you only like good tasting things like Burgerking. Really? You pay for a food subcription that you dont eat because it's too salty, too spicy or it doesn't taste good and then buy fastfood and then complain that you don't lose weight and how your stomach hurts? GEE I wonder WHY?! YOu have Gastrointeritis and you're eating BURGERKING???)
4. How she complains she has a dead end job and how she almost got fired for sleeping at her desk and how her boss is a jerk for daring to ask her to do her job ( Well DUH, IT'S YOUR JOB! How have you not been fired yet? Your Boss caught you sleeping on the JOB! It's bad enough you dont even do it well, you say it's dead end because you are too lazy to do anything else or put in an effort. You didn't even get that job yourself dude, I got you that job as a favor to your Mom. "Oh Susie, please get a spot at your job she needs it!" Sheesh! You didn't even have to do an interview, how does that even work? It's insane that I moved on and you've been doing the same Job stupid job for 5 freaking years. You went to college and flunked out because "I want to be an entrepreneur influencer" or whatever but havent done anything productive in ALL that time. You work as a Printer and mailroom lady at a public school PART TIME. It is NOT that hard! you literally spend hours on your phone and watch netflix all day! YOU GET PAID TO SIT ON YOUR BUTT! AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING?! What is wrong with you? You literally get the summer off and you call in sick for the stupidest reasons! You literally have time to get platnum on overwatch but cant take classes or get a certificate to get a better job because it's too hard, you're tire and you have no time? Really? Maybe if you didn't play Leage until 3 in the god damn morning you wouldn't be so tired all day and appreciate how spoiled, privalaged and ungreatful you are! I would kill to have the amount of support and time you have!).
5. How she doesn't have money. ( YOU complain that you dont have the money to do any fun stuff, fix your car and pay "rent" which you never pay because NEWSFLASH you live with your mom. BUT you spend 300 dollars to do your NAILS and you're broke? You are constantly buying 50 dollar "brand name " make up and clothes for your failing influencer streams and posts, "I'm soooooo broke!!!" You buy 20 dollar character skins on Overwatch for characters you dont even play. You spend 250 a week on take out and because even though you know how to cook and pay for a food subcription, all that food tastes yucky or you don't want to use your moms kitchen cuz she complains when you dont clean up. And you have the audacity to complain? To ask me to buy you stuff and spot you? Like seriously? Aren't you "saving" to move out? You contstantly tell us and brag about how you're moving out and going to be a successful small business owner, but then you spend a bajillion on stupid shit. I know you're getting that money from somewhere and you are in debt. But hot cock on a rock, you are financially and literally irresponsible and you can't see it because either you are an idiot or you know it and think it will just go away. It wont.)
6. How the button on her shorts broke and how dumb it is that she spent so much money on a "BRAND" name item only for the button to break because it is cheaply made. (BRUH YOU BOUGHT IT OFF SHEIN!!! That crap aint Chanel! That stuff isn't Gucci or some other stupid bougee brand! No wonder it sucks and comes apart after two washes! The only reason you bought it is because some rando told you to buy it on TikTok and "iT wAs A DeAl!!" You get that crap a size too small and then are surprised when the seams rip! Gee! I wonder why miss "I'm working out!" )
7. How her Instagram/TikTok and Twitch have barely any views and her Influencer life style is not working out. (BRUH you don't post anything of value, it's a saturated market and when you do post, you don't make an effort to edit or even post or stream at a time that people are willing to watch you. you play obscure games that no one knows about or games that are overplayed by better streamers and influencers. You do make up tutorials, without actually knowing or researching explaining what you are doing or putting on your face. No wonder no one watches you. You obviously arent even trying. You are not going to go viral or make it up there if you are not willing to actually try to do something of value. People are not going to just watch you because you are a girl and have tits.)
8. Her parents being unsupportive. (Your Parents aren't supportive? HOW? you're 27 and living with your parents. Those two idiots love the absolute shit out of you and you don't even know it. You get free housing. They paid for your college and they paid for your car. You don't even pay utilities. They pay for your phone. How are they not supporting you? They even brag about how "our princess is an influencer" and act so proud when you can't keep any followers, keep a man, pass a class or get a decent job. How are they not supporting you?)
9. How she is the victim in life and she is so unlucky. This was the last complaint that made me snap and start this whole tirade. ( You are all the things that are wrong with you and you cause all the problems in your life. You are the girl who peaked in highschool and just thought the rest of the world would cater to you. I don't know how, but your ass is going to be handed to you one day and I'm not going to be there to help you. You have no one to blame but yourself. You are extremely lucky and you don't even know it. I'm sorry for yelling at you and saying all this shit but I am so tired of listening to you complain and act as if nothing in your life has ever been your fault. You are the problem. And I don't think I can handle being around you right now.)

Now before I continue, let me just say. I have nothing against Jason Alexander. Hes a great actor who is severely underrated but I absolutely hate his character from that show. From the whining to the tantrums and relationship problems. I despise George Constanza.
And Georgette is exactly like him and HOLY ITALIAN CANOLI. I can only take so much. In mannerisms, attitude, and sircumstance. She is the female George. Maybe that's why I blew up like that. Who knows. Anyway....
Then it happened.
This entire ordeal felt like watching a car crash -you know how everything will end up, but you cant do anything but watch as the disaster happens and either cringe or look in awe.
At the end of my rant, when the room is quiet and all you can hear is the TV and the sitcom laughter, my Cousin, Georgettes older brother Jerry -bless his stupid heart- suddenly started laughing and said that I was right about it all, Georgette created her own problems and always had an excuse FOR EVERYTHING, of course, we all start arguing. She gives more excuses. We argue some more. There is name calling. And we start taking sides, in the middle of our arguing Georgette screams, Loud and says... "NO NO! Its not my fault! I'm the victem here!! You're just being mean!! ... I'm getting upset!! AHHH!!!" while flailing her arms and stomping her feet like a toddler. And of course there was a pause.
In that second the mentioned character from the show, which was still playing on the TV, shouted loudly "George is getting upset!! AHHHHH!!!" que the bass playing.
Everyone lost it.
The boys of course all started laughing, I started laughing. Georgette not amused starts shouting how it's not funny. "I'm the victem here!" Starts crying and tells us all to "Go to hell." Then runs out the door, fumbles, trips, gets up and shuffles way towards the park and to her Parents apartment gesticulating and yelling the entire way.
I feel bad, but at the same time it feels good to have let all that out.
Even now I feel releif writing this out. I don't care. I'm so done with this life.
Her mom, Estelle, of couse called me and I let everything out on her too - In the end she got quiet and just hung up.
I feel like Quagmire at the end of his "why I don't like you Brian" speech. I said my peace. I know I'm an ass and I think I'm ok with not dealing with my cousin any more.
I don't think I've even cared about her.
I don't think I even want to see her right now. Or ever.
I love her. But do I actually love her or is it because she's always been here and shes family? Have I always been carrying this? I don't know. Maybe I want people to know how I really feel and am hoping this reaches her in some way as a cathartic fuck you. I don't know. I'll talk to a therapist about that on Monday.
Babydoll, if you see this. Get your Shit Together. I'm done. I don't regret doing this. I hope you get better and succeed. I really do. But I Love you and I hate you. I hate that you do nothing to improve yourself and I hate that I'm your Emotional Support Animal. I'm not responsible for you. And it's not my fault that you feel shitty. We may be family, but that doesn't give you the right to make me feel shitty and for your to invide my home with your constant complaining. I'm not a sith. I can't live with negativity and darkness for all my life. You need to be better. And I hope one day we both can be better. But for now. Good Bye.
I'm Done.
If you've made it this far or if this still exists by the time anyone gets to this paragraph, congratulations for letting me scream into the reddit void for 300 hours.
Peace.

To start with, I am absolutely not in any danger, nor do I want to do anything to myself or others. My brain may tell me I want to, but I 100% disagree with it.
Here is my dilemma:
I currently hold a CDL and drive a school bus. I also have some family heirloom guns (really old ones). I have my late husband's guns too, which I would like to keep for sentimental reasons.
I am having very detailed intrusive thoughts and think I ought to pursue therapy. My worry is if I tell a therapist about these very specific intrusive thoughts, I might lose my CDL and my guns.
(The guns are locked in a safe behind a locked door to which I do not have a key, and I communicate my intrusive thoughts with my husband so he knows where my brain is going with things, so I am in no danger from those, but some are currently registered to me so someone knows I have them, and I don't want anyone to take them.)
Please share ideas. I just want my brain to behave again but don't know where to safely go to make that happen.

For those that have been interested in my homemade riddles/hints to Misko's treasure, I'll be compiling all of them here as they are posted. For those that are seeing this for the first time, feel free to read below and enjoy a little more treasure hunting in the game.
​
Misko's Treasure of the Ice I
In Hebra, find the longest lake from north to south.
The treasure waits at the water's mouth.
Fly all the way up then turn your gaze down
To find the chest with the frost-ridden crown.
Misko's Treasure of the Ice II
Allow Strock's arrow to guide you to the garb wrought with winter's wrath. The shroud is stashed in the shelter of the shining shroom.
Misko's Treasure of the Ice III
Search below the coldsnap but don't plunge and don't fall. In order to embrace the winter you must first turn your head to the spring.
​
Misko's Treasure of the Inferno I
In the maw of the mount of doom
There lies a carved out room.
Should you choose to accept this quest,
Sharpen your senses to unearth the chest.
Misko's Treasure of the Inferno II
South of the salubrious springs, follow the finger affixed to the face of the mountain. Pursue the prize planted in the place to which it points.
Misko's Treasure of the Inferno III
Long ago in a land beyond time
The peak of demise loomed in its prime.
A boy known to wield a mythical sword
Became brothers with the mountain's stalwart lord.
Our kingdom immortalized the ruler's fame.
Find the crown east of the lake that now bears his name.
​
Coming Next: Misko's Treasure of Energy
​
Feedback is welcomed, especially regarding difficulty as I have no idea whether or not these are actually helpful. I'd also love to know if any of you found the treasure using any of these. Good luck and happy hunting!

(You can also find this work here, along with the previous parts here.)
​
Fritz was in a room, his eyes closed. His sunburn skin had healed, and he had a new Ironblood officer’s uniform on him.
However, he was comatose.
A combination of sodium poisoning, sun exposure, dehydration, and starvation all worked together to place him in a coma. A pink-sliver-haired woman was hard at work looking over him.
“Vestal! You’re needed at the meeting!”
Vestal stopped tending to Fritz. She looked at him and sighed as she wrote on a piece of paper.
“Subject is stable. However, it is unknown if the subject will ever regain consciousness.”
Vestal nodded and made her way to the meeting. She saw Prince of Wales, Queen Elizabeth, and Warspite. Prince of Wales smiled.
“I suppose we shall start this meeting.”
The other shipgirls nodded. Queen Elizabeth and Prince of Wales looked at the papers they had in front of them. Warspite smiled.
“First, how are our guests?”
Prince of Wales sighed.
“The pilot has so far been a bust. We are thinking of sending him to a regular Prisoner of War camp. The submariner has so far been in a coma. We believe he has a substantial amount of information about the internal workings of the Ironblood.”
Queen Elizabeth nodded.
“You said King George V found two folders on the two men when she found them on the raft?”
Prince of Wales nodded.
“Indeed. My sister found two folders. One on each man. We now have confirmation of the Ironblood and the Sakura Empire conducting joint operations in both the Indian and Pacific Oceans.”
“Are they a threat to us?”
Prince of Wales shook her head.
“No. The Monsun Gruppe, as they are called, have been suffering heavy casualties from the sirens.”
Queen Elizabeth smiled.
"How are you holding up, Wales?"
Prince of Wales smiled as she rubbed her belly. Her pregnancy was showing under her shirt.
"I've been doing well. Vestal told me I am currently five months pregnant, and Caleb and I's child will be a boy."
Queen Elizabeth closed her eyes as she smiled and giggled.
"That is good to hear. I made sure to place you here as soon as you found out you were expecting.
Prince of Wales sighed.
"It's certainly safer than combat duty, but it does get boring around here.
Queen Elizabeth nodded.
"Understood. I'll be sure to find this place more entertainment."
Queen Elizabeth looked at Vestal with a serious look on her face.
“How about the submariner, Vestal? Any updates on him?”
Vestal sighed. “Your majesty, you can call him by his name. He is not a cursed idol.”
Queen Elizabeth rolled her eyes.
“Alright. How is Fritz doing?”
Vestal closed her eyes.
“He is stable, but he is still not yet out of the coma. I do not know when he will wake.”
“You all remember the cover story, correct?”
Warspite nodded.
“Yes. This place is the manor of a wealthy industrialist. Fritz ended up here as the Ironblood pulled some strings and placed him here rather than in a Prisoner of War Camp.”
Prince of Wales nodded.
“That is an excellent cover, but I doubt he will believe it for long.”
Queen Elizabeth closed her eyes and nodded.
“What should we do if the cover story fails?”
Prince of Wales chuckled.
“Then we reveal the ace in the hole and tell him the truth, along with our plans for him.”
Queen Elizabeth nodded. She turned her head to the man in the room.
“Petty Officer Stevenson, your thoughts?”
The Petty Officer looked at the table and sighed.
"Your majesty. You can just call me Petty Officer."
Queen Elizabeth nodded.
"Very well. What are your thoughts on this, Petty Officer?"
The Petty Officer sighed as he closed his eyes. “This feels wrong.”
King George V and Ark Royal joined the meeting. Ark Royal waved at Prince of Wales and Queen Elizabeth and smiled at them.
“Sorry if we're late.”
Queen Elizabeth nodded. “You are not. I’ll catch you guys up to speed.”
After updating King George V and Ark Royal, they continued the meeting.
“I know what we are asking of Fritz is a long shot, but it is the only shot we have.”
The Petty Officer nodded. “Well, that just about finishes this meeting. I’ll be in the garden with Belfast.”
Queen Elizabeth nodded, and the group left. Vestal walked to the room Fritz was staying in. He was out cold. She smiled slightly.
“Come on, Let’s get you some sun. It will be good for you.”
She lifted him and placed him in a wheelchair. She pushed him to the garden.
The warm sun hit Fritz’s skin. He was still in his Ironblood U-boat captain's uniform. The trimmed brown hair under his white U-boat captain’s hat shined slightly. She pushed him around, with hedges providing a bit of shade. Belfast was there with the Petty Officer.
Vestal pushed Fritz up to the table. Belfast smiled at her.
“Good afternoon Vestal. I see you brought Fritz with you.”
She served the Petty Officer some tea. The hot brown liquid filled the white teacup.
Vestal sat down in a chair next to Fritz. Belfast smiled at her.
“Would you like some tea, Dr. Vestal?”
Vestal smiled. “Sure.”
Belfast nodded as she served Vestal some tea. She poured it into a teacup for her.
“Thank you, Belfast.”
Belfast nodded as Vestal drank her tea. When she saw what she saw next, she nearly spat out her tea.
It was Fritz. His eyes were wide open. Vestal gulped her tea and sprang into action.
“Mr. Decke, can you hear me? Blink one for yes, twice for no.”
Fritz blinked once. Vestal smiled.
“Good. At least you still have your sense of hearing. I take it you are awake?”
Fritz tried to speak, but all he could do was open his mouth. Vestal sighed.
“Take it easy. You are safe. Your vocal cords still need time to recover from your coma.”
Fritz sighed. He couldn’t move his arms. He was having trouble even moving his head.
“You want to go back inside?”
Fritz blinked once and tried to nod.
Vestal nodded and pushed Fritz back into his room. She smiled as she placed him on his bed.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.”
Fritz watched as she ran down the hall. Vestal made her way to Prince of Wales’s office. She was busy going through paperwork. Vestal greeted her with a smile.
“Wales, it’s Fritz. He’s awake.”
Prince of Wales smiled. “Good. Is he responding to questions?”
Vestal nodded. “Yes. So far, his vocal cords are not active. However, he is responding to both questions and stimuli. He can respond to yes or no questions by blinking.”
Prince of Wales nodded. “Excellent! Once he regains the ability to speak, we can start our plan for him.”
A week later, Fritz was in his hospital bed. Vestal was looking over him, moving his arms and legs. Fritz grimaced as Vestal sighed.
“I know it hurts, but the more I do this, the sooner you’ll be able to walk.”
Vestal stopped moving his arms and legs and grabbed a pen. She wrote on a piece of paper.
“Fritz has already regained the power to move his arms and upper body, but his legs and lower body are still inactive.”
Vestal was about to leave when she heard a weak voice talk to her.
“Hey. Can you help me shave?”
Vestal turned around.
“Fritz, was that you?”
Fritz nodded. Vestal smiled.
“Of course!”
Vestal left the room, and Fritz sat up in his bed. He lifted his legs, one after the other, and propped himself up using the bed.
“Only one way to get moving.” He thought to himself.
He fell to the floor with a thud. He sighed.
“Of course. I still can’t walk.” he thought to himself.
Fritz rolled over on his back with some effort and looked around. He saw a wheelchair and dragged himself toward it. He dragged himself into the wheelchair.
Vestal came back with a bowl of hot water, a razor, and some shaving cream. She gasped.
“How are you in the wheelchair already?”
Fritz smirked. “I dragged myself to it.”
Vestal smiled at Fritz. “You ready to get started?”
Fritz nodded.
Vestal shaved Fritz’s beard. He smiled.
“Thank you. I was getting sick and tired of the beard around my face.”
Vestal nodded. “Mr. Decke, you want to go outside?”
Fritz nodded. “I can move the wheelchair by myself.”
The two made it to the garden. Belfast was there, along with Prince of Wales and the Petty Officer.
Fritz looked at the uniforms, and his eyes went wide. Prince of Wales’s eyes went wide as Fritz stared at her.
“Belfast, Vestal, Petty Officer, May you all please leave? Mr. Decke and I have something to discuss.”
The three nodded and left, leaving only Fritz and Prince of Wales.
“I suppose you have caught on to the fact that you are a prisoner of war of the Royal Navy?”
Fritz nodded.
“I had a feeling I was. I can tell by the accents and the uniforms.”
Fritz cleared his throat.
“Where is Werner? He was the man I was with.”
Prince of Wales smiled.
“Don’t worry. He is alright. He is currently in a Prisoner of War camp in Royal Navy territory.”
Fritz breathed a sigh of relief.
“How did you guys find me?”
“We found both you and Werner floating on a wooden pallet. Both of you were near death when my sister and Javelin found you.”
Prince of Wales’s smile faded as she sat in a chair.
“I have a proposition for you, Mr. Decke. I want you to help the Royal Navy.”
Fritz scoffed. “Forget it. I am not betraying the Ironblood.”
Prince of Wales got up and got behind Fritz. She pushed the wheelchair inside the manor.
“I figured you would say that. That’s why we got some leverage.”
Fritz raised an eyebrow.
“Where are you taking me?”
“To the medical wing. You’ll see why soon.”
Prince of Wales opened a door and pushed Fritz through. What he saw shook him to his core.
It was Tirpitz. She was asleep in a hospital bed. Her middle was larger and rounder.
“Why is Tirpitz doing here? What are you doing to her?”
Prince of Wales smirked. “Relax Fritz. You don’t want to wake up your wife now, do you?”
Fritz sighed. Prince of Wales closed her eyes.
“Now, do you want to hear an explanation for everything?”
Fritz sighed. “Alright. Lay it on me.”
Prince of Wales nodded.
“We found Tirpitz in the North Sea. From what our spies gathered, she violated direct orders from Bismarck to not engage in combat duties to fight the sirens. We found her unconscious, and we brought her here.”
“Is she alright? Is the baby alright?”
Prince of Wales placed her hand on Fritz’s shoulder.
“Yes. Tirpitz and the baby are alright. She is due for an appointment with Vestal today, which is why I bought you here. She is currently six months pregnant.”
Fritz’s eyes went wide.
“I have been out for two months?”
Prince of Wales nodded. “Yes. It is August. You were out for two months. We found Tirpitz two months ago, and we have been moving her from place to place to make it hard for the Ironblood to take her back.”
Fritz and Prince of Wales froze as Tirpitz moaned as she rubbed her belly. Prince of Wales looked at Fritz.
“Mr. Decke, I want you to go back to the Ironblood with Tirpitz and try to convince Bismarck to sign a peace treaty with Azur Lane, to join us in the war against the sirens.”
Fritz sighed. “That sounds like a risky proposition.”
Prince of Wales left the room, and Vestal came in with an ultrasound machine. Tirpitz opened her eyes to see her husband. Her eyes went wide.
“Fritz?”
Fritz smiled and held her hand.
“Yes. It's me.”
Tirpitz felt tears go down her face as she embraced her husband. Fritz smiled.
“Relax. Vestal is here to check on the baby.”
Tirpitz nodded as Vestal turned on the ultrasound.
“I’m warning you now, Mrs. Decke, the gel is cold.”
Tirpitz chuckled.
“Don’t worry. I’m used to the cold.”
Vestal applied the gel. Tirpitz shivered as Vestal applied the gel.
Vestal moved the wand of the ultrasound on Tirpitz’s belly.
“Alright Mrs. Decke, we are going to find out if you are having a boy or a girl. I just have to get a good view of the baby.”
Vestal moved the wand as she sighed. “So far nothing.”
The screen of the ultrasound machine suddenly had a good view of the baby’s bottom.
Vestal and Tirpitz’s eyes went wide as they blushed. Fritz laughed. They could see a small thing dangling under the baby’s bottom. Vestal’s eyes went wide as she giggled.
“Well, it appears you are having a son, Mr. and Mrs. Decke.”
Fritz chuckled.
“That’s my boy. Mein kleiner Moritz.”
Fritz continued to laugh. Tirpitz smiled.
“I can’t wait to meet you, Moritz.”
Vestal continued the ultrasound. She smiled after she was done.
“Well, Mr. and Mrs. Decke, Congratulations. You have a healthy baby boy that is due in early January.”
Fritz and Tirpitz smiled as they looked at each other. Vestal pressed a button and printed out some photos for Fritz and Tirpitz to have.
Vestal cleaned up Tirpitz’s belly and left the small room. Prince of Wales reentered the room.
“I heard the good news from Vestal. Congratulations Tirpitz.”
Tirpitz smiled. “Where would I be staying?”
Prince of Wales smiled. “You will stay in Fritz’s room. It’s only natural for a husband and wife to sleep together.”
Tirpitz nodded as she got out of bed. She and her husband made their way to their room.
Tirpitz helped Fritz to bed as he lay down next to her. Fritz placed a hand on Tirpitz’s belly, feeling Moritz kick against his palm.
“It’s hard to believe that in a few months, we are going to be parents.”
Tirpitz smiled.
“Fritz. I have to tell you something important.”
Fritz nodded. “Go ahead.”
“When I received news that you were killed in action, I could not believe it. I was a wreck. Despite my sister’s warnings, I went on a combat mission. came across a couple of sirens, and they were having a meeting.”
Tirpitz froze as she sighed.
“I saw Friedrich Der Große with them. Before I could investigate further, they spotted me and knocked me out. Duke of York and Hood found me. They brought me here a week ago.”
Fritz’s eyes went wide.
“Friedrich Der Große? What would she be doing with the sirens?”
Tirpitz sighed. “I don’t know. The only thing I care about now is making sure you and Moritz are safe.”
Fritz took his hand off Tirpitz’s belly.
“The Royal Navy wants me to go back to the Ironblood with you to talk to Bismarck. The Royal Navy wants to see if she will sign a peace treaty to join Azur Lane.”
Tirpitz nodded. “I figured. I’m guessing you refused, as you did not want to betray the Ironblood?”
Fritz nodded.
“Fritz. I want you to help the Royal Navy.”
Fritz’s eyes went wide.
“Why?! Isn’t that treason against the Ironblood?!”
Tirpitz sighed.
“I want the Ironblood to join Azur Lane. I want my sister to be safe. Most of all, I want a world safe for Moritz to grow up in.”
Fritz sighed as he sat on the bed. “You’re right. I don’t want Moritz to be born in a world where he has to live in fear of the sirens.”
Tirpitz nodded as she sighed. She sat next to him and rubbed her belly.
“My sister Bismarck has not been herself in a few months. From the letters she's been sending me, she’s been acting strange. She’s been vomiting after eating very little, she’s been suffering mood swings, and it has been worrying me.”
Fritz placed a hand on Tirpitz’s shoulder.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure your sister is fine. We should get some sleep.”
Tirpitz yawned and nodded. Soon, the couple was asleep.
Elsewhere in the manor, two women were wearing headphones and smiling.
“Did you get that Yorkie?”
“Loud and clear Sheffie.”
Sheffield smiled. “You were right about one thing.”
Duke of York raised an eyebrow. “What?”
Sheffield smirked. “Bugging the rooms was a great idea.”
Duke of York smirked. “I don’t think they suspect their rooms being bugged.”
Sheffield nodded as she smirked back. “Let’s make sure we keep it this way.”
Duke of York took off her headphones and opened the door.
“I’ll be telling Prince of Wales and Queen Elizabeth the information we received. Please let me know if you hear anything else.”
Sheffield nodded and continued to work.

We bought a house this Spring here in Rochester that needed hail damage repair. We were told the roof had another three years before needing more serious attention.
Looking forward, we wondered if a steel roof could be a better long term answer. We were approached by a company that offered the steel roof option. We know nothing about steel roofs, their cost, just how appropriate they might be for local conditions, etc.
Any idea if this would be worth considering?

By no teeth, I mean no ability to enforce the classroom rules or impose consequences.
I can't send anyone outside the door, sending them to the office is going to make me look bad in the eyes of admin, parents are a hit and a miss (some are great but for others it's no good talking to them).

"I hate zingers. I was told, growing up, that they are for the weak-minded. Like a 'Jedi mind trick', you know?" Detective Winters was doing something on his phone in our hotel room. His voice startled me as I lay half asleep on my own bed. He was sitting on his bed, half undressed, smoking under the fire alarm. I had no idea what he was talking about.
"Will you open a window? Cory has very small lungs." I requested.
"Cough." Cory said in perfect English. Then my talking crow imitated the hacking and coughing of Detective Winters in the middle of the night. It went on for about as long as a mummer's dance and then ended with the sound of a man spitting.
"Jesus would have sworn for a bird like that." Detective Winters applauded the performance and then used the lit cigarette in his mouth to light another and then he put the smoldering one in his mouth and used the lit one again to finish lighting the fresh tobacco. Then he accidentally scattered the rest of the brown stringy stuff all over the floor. He swept the remains of his new rolling kit off with the spill and shrugged, laid back, and puffed away.
"Goodness." Cory flitted down and inspected the stuff. He liked it too much and I told him to stay out of it.
A knock came upon the door. I already had a bad feeling. I'd read my horoscope and Detective Winters's too. We both had it coming our way. Nothing good could come from 'non-dairy starlight' and 'niche holes on the border'. Those phrases meant no sense, and yet our stars translated to those words, as they danced drunkenly across the keyboard of the starry skies.
"You get that." I stiffened.
"Uh, I always get it." Detective Winters smiled at me weirdly for being weird. He wasn't feeling the terror I felt. For a man who hated zingers: he sure took fear literally.
"One knock, my Lord. Very bad." Cory told me. I nodded, I already knew something was terribly amiss. Just because the armed and half naked policeman in my bedroom was blundering forward to grip the doorhandle without regard, didn't mean that we were safe. Only terror gripped my heart as my crow went to the bedpost and squawked in alarm, "Must go now!"
He opened the door and it was the same maid from before. She was wearing her regular street clothes instead of her uniform. She reminded Detective Winters that he was a policeman. He agreed and she asked him if, as a policeman, he could help her. He agreed to that too.
I didn't want to go, but I had no choice. Gagging and swaying stiffly like a terrified zombie I went with them; knowing this was going to be very bad, because I had read those weird horoscopes and believed them. Sweat shot out from my upper lip as I gibbered helplessly in dread:
"Where are we going?" I asked in apprehensive discernment, finally getting the words out of my sweaty lips.
"We are going to Sesame Street and Brooklyn Ave. You ever gone there before?" He accepted one of the woman's menthol cigarettes and fumbled with the book of matches from the hotel that was in the ashtray of his car. Then he put the cigarette to his lips and lit it while driving. He eventually cracked the window and let out most of the smoke.
"Why don't you open your window?" The woman asked. I was very afraid of the kind of trouble she was asking for. If I opened the window I might lose Cory in an awful way. Trembling I reached out and took the window's lever and opened the window a crack. Then I reached over and got the other one too. She smiled, like a golden devil, and cracked her window and then got her's down to about halfway. By then only the odor of the smoke remained.
"That's probably good." I gulped.
We got to her apartment and went inside to meet her husband and her son. The boy was tied to his bed and his eyes were terrifying and horrible. His face was monstrous and contorted and looked like a bad makeup special effect. Except that was his actual flesh. He struggled mightily and for a moment it was as though he would break free and rampage like an angry animal. His teeth glowed in the shade, sharp and ready to bite. He looked at us.
As his eyes met Detective Winters, the man froze. Then some of his hair started to wither and wilt. It became brittle and grey. He staggered backward and fell. I tried to avoid the gaze of whatever that was. It only wore her son, but something else was with us, watching us from within him. As Detective Winters made the communion of eye contact it had known him and known itself to him. Thus kin to its ways, he had fallen to the shock and horror of something unfathomably horrifying beyond words. The meaning of such a thing is simply instinctive, and to not know it is a blessing, and it cannot be known to someone until they have seen it, smelled the fruit-candy sweetness and the sulfur of its breath. Heard the voice of an angel, but not one from Heaven.
"Open the window." It commanded. The voice of this creature was not made by a human-will, yet it was from the lips of a child. Horrible and deep and grinding like a thousand souls on wheels of torture, all crying out this one phrase in unison, and then as one voice together and tormented and irresistible.
I quaked and fell back against the wall, refusing to look at it. I crept along the wall until I got to the shades. Then I drew them and let in the light. I gasped at the surreal horror I could see then:
The whole city was covered in flesh. Parts of people twitched and dripped and dangled everywhere. Skinless ones dragged their feet, leaving trails of themselves as they went. I heard a rumbling, or rather saw it, sensed it somehow. The clouds convulsed and began to drip and it was then raining. The rain was blood.
I screamed and fell back. Cory flapped around the room and the demonic thing with us was laughing. I clawed my way to the door, frantically. Detective Winters got up suddenly, and with a wild look in his eyes. His head was struck upon the shelf and a clacking monkey doll with chimes fell free onto my back as I crawled out the bedroom door.
The vision of ultimate horror burned the landscape into my memory. Once it is seen, it cannot be unseen. As I looked around I could still feel its presence on everything. I clawed at the floor, slick with the butcher's offal, but it was just the carpet. The fear was real, and as I held myself and cried in terror: I knew the carnage was still all around me, invisible. There were bodies hung from ropes, and chopped apart, and torn, and there were dead staked to the ceiling, and vivisectioned. Only I knew they were there, even if I couldn't see them. I had seen them and knew they still remained. My heartbeat slowed and I felt the clacking of the monkey on my back. I shook myself free of it and went and hid in a corner.
"My son, he is feeling better! You two have cured him! How do you do this? No exorcism? Nothing?" The father was in tears and holding up his son for us.
"Let's get out of here." Detective Winters helped me up. Cory rode on my outstretched left arm, nervously. I kept lowering my arm to which he would click his disapproval, each time. Detective Winters helped my shocked frame into the car and tossed the toy monkey onto the seat next to me. It had most likely followed us out of the apartment, or else he had carried it. Certainty is for the weak-minded, I concluded, as I stared at its malevolent glass eyes.
We got back to the hotel room and one of us put the monkey on top of the television.
"Time to get some sleep." Detective Winters stated. He laid down stiffly, like some kind of rigid corpse.
"Must go now." Cory hid behind my head on the pillow and softly called.
I watched sleeplessly as the horrible thing sat there atop the television. I could only speculate that it was the cause of the child's malady and that removing it had made everything better. I stared at the infinite evil in its dark glass eyes. Suddenly it started to chime its little chimes, clashing them loudly in the darkness.
"Oh, gawd! It's awake!" I yelled and sat up. Cory fluttered around on the bed, flapping frantically.
"What! What's happening?" Detective Winters woke to a start.
We laid back down and I started to fall asleep. As my eyes slowly started to close the absolute terror I had felt since the beginning was starting to subside just enough to catch my breath. Maybe I would not get left forgotten in the starry skies. Perhaps the wall of sleep had an unlocked door for me to get through safely to the other side. My eyes were fluttering shut when suddenly the monkey chimed again, evilly and terrifyingly in the dark.
"That thing!" I shrieked in gross terror as I woke suddenly.
In the darkness its shape sat there ready to pounce on the sleeper. It was watching our eyes close with its own eyes always wide open and staring, shining in the darkness. The toothy grin of the diabolical creature anticipated this third calamity upon our dying nerves.
My sleep brought the image of the mirrored eyes. I stared into a mirror, seeing its marble glass amid the tufted spiky hair. The monkey in the mirror wanted out; as I dreamed in a delirious fog. My dreams told me of its true nature in the true world. The one we shared alongside it.
The doll was merely where its existence met ours, like a kind of intact vortex. The space between the walls of the whirlpool, as it drains into the darkness, gurgling. I was staring too deeply into that darkness and there it was. I could see its true form there. It clambered up out of the darkness, held back only by the glass of the mirror.
Enraged, the monkey glared and snarled at me. It showed its sharp teeth and then it began hitting the glass. It threw itself against the glass over and over. As the glass fractured and broke, it began the crawl through, shrieking and snarling in terrifying rage. Its flesh was cut to the bone and it peeled off its own face coming through the broken glass like that. Then it came crawling across the floor to get to me, its hate-filled eyes glimmering over its vicious teeth.
Sleep was not a safe place to be. The chime blasted again, clanging loudly and diabolically. I jerked to my feet with a start, the image of the nightmare still clinging to what I thought I was seeing.
Except as I blinked away the nightmare I could see the dark liquid of its true form writhing back into the shape of the doll. Its shadows scattered across the wall like animated flames with no color. The foul smell of sweet and rotting things filled the air. I could hear its growl from the doll and from all around and from within my own mind, echoing from the memory of Dream.
Then without warning there was a loud detonation and blinding flash. The doll exploded into thousands of tiny sticks that were painted in red stripes. Detective Winters put his gun back into the holster.
"Perhaps now, we can get some sleep." He had a bent rolly in his mouth with bits of tobacco sticking out of it every which way. He managed to get it lit without setting it on fire and smoked it for a minute before he snuffed it out.
"I am too afraid to." I yawned.

First Previous Next
Chapter 27 - I Guess a Bathhouse Episode was Inevitable
Last Time: Having attained at least some measure or personal safety, the party recovered from their wounds in a forest clearing. Aiden awoke from his nightmare-troubled sleep to see everyone waiting. They had found a fortuitous ally in the form of Alex, a teamster who had happened upon them during their flight from Tripit, though they were away retrieving the party’s belongings. The day passed peacefully enough, and good news was had when Oxcard awoke from his sleep. In the relative quiet, plans were made for what the party would do going forward. Aiden, Laran, Leor, and Oriwyn would follow Arcadia and Oxcard as they made their way to Diareen, a distant trade city. In addition to following them, Aiden made Arcadia and Oxcard the offer to join their party. The two siblings deferred their answer but acquiesced to the party joining them on their trip, and thus it was that they set travel that night at a much more leisurely pace than they had been forced to take the night before.
We had been traveling for about three days. During the first, all of us had been jumpy. Many small clumps of people lined the roads that led from Tripit, little communities that arose in order to be near Tripit or which persisted despite the meteoric growth of their larger neighbor. Any time someone glanced over at us, I felt like they were going to report our whereabouts to Daisy and we would need to flee into the darkness. Luckily, however, there were no incidents and we began to be able to fully relax.
Oxcard was making a good recovery. He still rode in the cart more often than not, with Oriwyn often joining him to minister to his wounds as best she could. It quickly became apparent that he knew more about treating injuries than Oriwyn, so her attempts quickly turned into lessons. Arcadia normally walked nearby, chatting pleasantly with Oxcard whenever he otherwise didn’t have anything to do - I had noticed she didn’t talk to the rest of the party as much, but given the circumstances I figured that her joy at saving Ox merited a little bit of single-minded focus.
It felt strange to lead the group with nothing really going on. We had too many injuries to really try to train, and we wanted to spend as much time as we could traveling to put some distance behind us just in case someone was following, so we barely acted like an adventuring party. In general, it felt more like we were a group of backpackers who had run into each other and decided to stick together rather than an adventuring party on a quest for future glory.
All in all, I couldn’t say I really minded it.
In the quiet times after we’d made camp but before I fell asleep, I would occasionally check Lorna’s pocket mirror. The first time I did, I was unsurprised to learn we had all leveled up - I was level six, Laran and Leor were level seven, Oriwyn was level eight, Arcadia was level five, and Oxcard was level six. In addition to that, I had increased in bond with everybody. After such a harrowing venture, it felt right.
About midway through the third day of travel, Alex called out to us all, suddenly excited.
“I thought this looked familiar! See the weird tree that looks like it was hit by lightning? And that pile of boulders over there that kind of looks like a bunny? If we take the side road we’ll find in about ten minutes, then we’ll get to YaDa’s!”
I had no idea what Alex was talking about, so I shot a look around to the rest of the party. They seemed equally as mystified, so I decided to take one for the team.
“Uh, YaDa’s? What is that?”
Alex slapped a hand to their heart as if they’d been offended.
“You don’t know of YaDa’s? It's the finest combination inn, general store, and bathhouse in all of Tal!”
I snorted with laughter at Alex’s mock indignation. The place certainly sounded interesting - even after only three days on the road, I could do with an inn, a general store, and a bathhouse. If they all happened to be in the same building, then that was all the better for it. I did have one question though.
“I think we’re interested, assuming it won’t cause us too much delay. That being said, why is someone trying to run a business out in the middle of nowhere? Sure we’re not too far from Tripit and we’re on a decently large road, but I can’t imagine that enough people pass through to make it fully worth their while.”
Alex just shrugged and smiled.
“The owners seem to do just fine for themselves! Maybe it’s because they tend to get a lot of repeat customers. I’m not the only one who looks forward to my path taking me by YaDa’s - in fact, I stop pretty much every time I’m going to or from Tripit!”
I nodded along as Alex continued to ramble about some of the amenities of YaDa’s. Everyone else seemed interested too, so it wasn’t much of a decision to declare we would stop in and rest the remainder of the day. Everyone’s mood got an immediate boost and we all moved faster - even the pack animals pulling the cart seemed excited. Soon enough we found a simple wooden sign next to a side road, which Alex directed us down.
The sign had three pictograms on it - a coin purse, a plate of food, and a steaming bath. As I looked at them, my brain started to work out what order I wanted to do the actions they represented in.
Oriwyn’s eyes were bright and wide open as we came down the path. Already, a building could be seen in the distance. It was large for how little else stood near it - a big, blocky building that matched what I thought an inn should look like was flanked by a smaller, blocky building and a large geodesic dome. I blinked a few times, startled by the shape. It looked like triangular panes of glass rested on a wooden substructure, making a shape that I always associated with retrofuturism. Leor looked interested too - maybe she had some interest in architecture?
As we approached, Alex rumbled their wagon to a halt.
“You six - sorry Brams, seven - go ahead and run in ahead of me. I have an understanding with the owners so I’m going to hitch Peggy and Gary up in the stables before I try to get settled. Someone should be working the front desk - introduce yourself, they’re friendly!”
We thanked Alex for their insight and made our way into the building. We entered into a slightly small space - it wasn’t cramped, but it definitely felt small for what I associated with the entryway for an inn. A few plush chairs were arranged around a fireplace on one wall and a desk stood at the far end. It was currently unoccupied, but I saw a small hanging bell and a hammer on an iron stand on the desk. Shrugging, I took point and walked up to the desk. I glanced around but couldn’t see anyone, so I picked up the hammer and tapped the bell. The resulting noise was surprisingly loud and the answer was almost instant.
“So sorry! Be with you in a second!” came a deep but feminine sounding voice. Sure enough, after a short time had passed, a door opened and a woman stepped through.
To call the woman tall felt almost like an understatement. It seemed like she needed to duck under the doorframe - my best guess is that she was six foot eight or taller. She was built in a way that suggested the Ghost of Christmas Present to me - red hair and all - and when she walked behind the desk it looked comically small before her. She appeared to be human, but I wondered if giants were a thing in Tal - if they were, she definitely looked the part.
“Welcome to YaDa’s!” she said, smiling brightly. She swept a hand up to herself by way of introduction. “My name is Ya, and Da is around elsewhere, and together we run YaDa’s! I don’t think I recognize you - is this your first time?”
Leor was the one who stepped up to answer, which surprised me. I shifted back a little to let her take point.
“Yes, this is our first time, though you came highly recommended by our associate Alex. I believe they should be joining us soon!”
Ya beamed behind the desk.
“Oh! Alex is a good sort - glad to see them back! Their favorite room is even open right now - unless they’d be staying with you?”
“We hadn’t discussed how we would be doing lodging arrangements, but I assume Alex may want some peace and quiet after having us unexpectedly tail along for a few days. What sort of accommodations are there?”
Ya ran a quick count on our number. “For six? We have suites that can take six, or you could do three rooms of two. Honestly, it’s cheaper if you’re all together, and we have a harder time filling the big rooms anyway.
It was at that moment that Brams began to try to scale Ya’s desk. With a scrabbling sound and some snorting, he made his presence known. Ya looked down, looked a little surprised, then reached over the desk and held out her arms. Brams gladly stopped scrabbling and flopped into the proffered embrace, so Ya lifted him and placed him on the desk.
“My my, aren’t you a strange one, little creature! Can’t say I’ve seen your like before…”
Brams made a snorting sound that seemed almost indignant and shook himself. His tail wiggled with the end of the shake, then he sat and stared up at Ya. There was a moment’s silence and Brams looked very intent - all of us leaned in a little, as it seemed like Brams was about to do something. A violent sneeze burst from his muzzle, making us all jump, and the moment was over. Ya smiled at him and tousled the hair on top of his head with her huge hands.
“Well, sorry for not including you in the count. I’m sure that the room will fit seven, though you may need to squeeze a little. Follow me!”
With that, Ya pulled a bulky key from a pocket in her pants. She bent down and unlocked a drawer in the desk, withdrawing a smaller key. As she handed it to Leor, she gave her some instructions.
“Now this key is enchanted. After we’ve opened your door, you’ll have ten minutes to make as many copies as you’ll need. Just take the key, leave it on an open spot of the table, and make sure nobody looks at it for about a minute. When you look back, there’ll be a second key on the table. Take the key and give it to someone - have them put it out of sight - and repeat it until you have what you need! When you’re done, stroke the first key and tell it thanks and it’ll stop duplicating itself.”
I chuckled - hotel key cards had nothing on what I’d just seen. Sure the whole system seemed a little convoluted, and there was a part of me that wanted to keep summoning keys for a few hours just to see how many I could make, but it still felt really cool. In a way, it felt like proper magic, like in a fairy tale.
It was amazing how quickly parts of Tal had become passé to me. I figured since I’d been living in Tal for a while, it was natural that I'd done my best to try and fit in, which would explain how I so quickly became inured to the magical wonders of the world. After all, it seemed like my life was going to continue on as it had been for the foreseeable future. Still, sometimes something small would hit me over the head with a sudden feeling that I was somewhere different from Earth.
Over time, that feeling had been less and less negative.
We followed Ya as she led us to our room. She had to slow a little, as Arcadia made it a point to walk in front of Oxcard and walk slowly so he wouldn’t try to keep up with the tall woman and possibly re-open his wounds. Despite the delay however, we made it to our rooms fine before too awful long.
Our lodgings were simple but spacious. Beds lined two of the walls, creating a corner for sleeping that stood opposed to a clear space with some tables, chairs, and what appeared to be a simple wood-fired stove. A stack of small firewood sat in a basket and thick quilts covered the bed, and overall the whole place gave off a very cozy feeling.
We wasted no time in thanking Ya and starting to get settled in. Arcadia, Oxcard, and Oriwyn took the three beds on one wall while Leor, Laran, and I took the remaining. Leor busied herself making keys, though had some trouble because Oriwyn kept trying to sneak a peek of the key when it split, causing the magic to not work. Eventually though, each of us had a copy - we even made a copy for Brams and tied it around his neck loosely with a piece of ribbon, figuring that it would be a good backup. Leor had an odd look on her face when she began to stroke the key and tell it thank you, which got the rest of us laughing. The key shivered in her hand and let out a contented sigh, which made Leor drop it. Oxcard started laughing so hard that he doubled over in pain, but there was no damage done and the mood stayed high. I decided I should address everyone and come up with something of a game plan.
“Well everyone, it looks like we have some R and R time on our hands! What do people want to do?”
What followed was a pleasantly lively discussion. Arcadia, Laran, and I really wanted to see about the bathhouse side of things, while Oriwyn and Leor argued that they were hungry. Oxcard stayed quiet for most of the deliberation, offering noncommittal answers if ever directly asked about anything, which I found a little strange but which I didn’t press on. The whole time, Brams ran laps around the room, flapping his wings as he jumped from bed to bed. I noticed he seemed to be getting just the littlest bit of a glide going as he leapt over the longer stretches - I would bring that up with Ori later. It also seemed like a positive development that the movement didn’t cause him pain, despite the healing scar on his wing.
Eventually, a plan was settled on. We would go to the general store to see if they had bathing clothes and something to eat. If they did, we would make our purchases then head to the bathhouse, which we assumed was the glass-encased dome structure. If we couldn’t find something that worked as a snack, we agreed we would get a proper meal before swimming. Our plan solidified, Oriwyn calmed Brams down enough so that he stopped running laps of the room, and we headed back to the front.
When we got to the store, we found someone we hadn’t seen before. By the look of her, she seemed to be Ya’s daughter - she hadn’t inherited her mother’s prodigious height entirely, but still stood roughly six feet tall. As we all walked in, she perked up immediately.
“Hello! My name is Yada, and I run the general store here! Have you ever visited one of our shops?”
So many things hit me at once I had trouble figuring out what to focus on first. The first thing I came to grips with was that this person’s name was likely a combination of her parents’ - it wasn’t that hard to imagine, but it still felt weird. The second was that there were multiple shops. Obviously the concept of a chain of stores wasn’t foreign to me, but they were a concept I thought I had left behind with Earth. Curiosity overtook me, so I decided to press for a little more information.
“No I can’t say I have - where are they?”
Yada puffed up behind the desk and looked proud of herself.
“Oh they’re around! Pick three out of the four cardinal directions from Tripit, and there you’ll find a branch of Yada’s General store. My siblings - Yadayada and Yadayadayada - run those two stores, but I was the one who started the whole thing and got this shop made! Mom and Dad really mostly care about the hospitality part of things, so I was free to make the business as I wanted it.”
Leor snorted and bluntly asked Yada a question that I had to admit had occurred to me too.
“Yada, Yadayada, and Yadayadayada? Good thing your parents didn’t have more kids or that would get unwieldy. Are they not very creative people?”
I may have phrased things a little more delicately, but I was still curious of the answer. Luckily Yada laughed it off and didn’t seem to take any offense.
“No, they’re good hosts but not the most imaginative when it comes to naming. We always joked it made it easy for people to remember who was the oldest - take the number of syllables and divide by two!”
Leor just raised her eyebrows but Arcadia burst out laughing. I don’t think I’d heard her laugh like that before. Oriwyn looked at her and slowly began to chuckle along, slowly crescendoing to full-blown laughter as well. I managed to keep a straight face until I glanced over at Laran, who looked utterly mystified. Ox was smiling - the first time I’d seen him do so in the short and intense time since I’d met him - and even Leor was giving a disdainful look, which was tantamount to a grin from her. When everyone calmed down, we thanked Yada for the introduction and got to the business of shopping.
There were sandwiches wrapped up in little paper bags, which we all bought one or two of. Oriwyn, Leor, and Oxcard immediately wolfed theirs down while Laran, Arcadia, and I went to a small table set off to the side and had a more leisurely time of things. As we ate, the other three began to look at the wares of the shop.
Oriwyn immediately found little baubles and spent a good while combing through a small chest of brooches. While she was doing that, Oxcard went to some shelves that had what looked like medical supplies. He came up to Arcadia with an armful and asked for some money, which she hurriedly fished out and gave him. Finally, Leor seemed to be focused on a small collection of clothes. She held up a garment and wandered over to a mirror to see how she looked in it. It didn’t take me long to figure out it was some sort of bathing suit.
I was really, really thankful that Tal had the concept of bathing suits. Part of me had been quietly dreading the prospect of skinny-dipping with five people who were barely more than strangers to me. The fact there was some reasonable expectation we would all be clothed was a relief.
After we finished our sandwiches, we all went to look at the bathing wear. Yada wandered over and started talking about things, going over what was popular where and who had suggested certain styles. I did what I normally did and grabbed the first pair of anything that reasonably looked like it would fit me, and it seemed Oxcard did the same. Arcadia was the next to choose, then Leor. Laran and Oriwyn were debating extensively amongst themselves, going over minute differences in material and cut that I wouldn’t have even thought to look at, so we left them to it and told them to meet us in the bathhouse. They agreed, so we set off.
When we entered the glass dome that hosted the baths, I saw that I had been right. A wooden frame created triangular ledges that held up glass panes. Some of them seemed to be missing from strategic places, creating a cross breeze. Still, the glass held in a large amount of steamy air, and we quickly picked out a large pool to claim as our own. There were only two other bathers, and they were off in a much smaller pool off to the side, so we had plenty of choice. We saw some booths off to the side and went to get changed.
As we gathered by the pool, my head idly studied what bathing suits we’d all chosen. I had gone with what was familiar - a pair of baggy trunks that had a cinch at the waist so they wouldn’t fall down. They didn’t have the weird inner netting that I was used to in place of underwear, which felt a bit strange and loose, but otherwise they were comfortable enough. Oxcard seemed to have chosen much the same as me, but where mine were dyed a green color, his seemed to be wholly undyed. I wondered if they had been the cheapest pair available - that might track with what little I knew about him and Arcadia.
Speaking of, Arcadia was wearing what looked like a sports bra and spanks. I’m sure there were women back home who would have killed for her sporty build, though given her life I’m sure she hadn’t come by it in a way that was in any way pleasant. The last to emerge was Leor, and I had to stop myself from laughing. She looked like a candy cane, wearing a red and white striped one-piece bathing suit that made me think of the old-timey Victorian bathing suits I saw guys wearing in movies and read about in history books. The lower part nearly came down to her knees, and given her beard and candy-cane coloring I got the impression of one of Santa’s elves on holiday. The mental image was doubly funny given that Leor was very definitely a dwarf, but I managed to hold myself together regardless.
We all slipped into the water - it was warm and inviting - and had just started to chat when we heard the bathhouse door open. We waved at Oriwyn and Laran as they entered, and they quickly went and got changed in the hutches we had vacated. It was with some curiosity that I watched for them to exit.
Oriwyn wore a loose, draped garment that seemed to be gathered at specific places to preserve her modesty - it looked vaguely Greek to me. I only had a few seconds to observe the cut though, because she immediately took a running start and jumped towards the deepest part of the pool. Brams immediately followed, offering a secondary splash nearly as large as Oriwyn’s as he splashed down. He began to paddle around the pool happily, having tucked his wings up and out of the way, while Oriwyn surfaced, shooting a cheesy grin at Leor - who she had splashed severely with her entrance - and took a place along the ledge at the edge.
When Laran came out, my face turned a little red. Now I wasn’t a prude, and over the years I had seen several men in very, very revealing swimsuits, but Laran’s suit was drawing my eyes in a way that I felt like they hadn’t been drawn since I was going through puberty. He wore what appeared to be folded fabric instead of trunks like Oxcard and I had found - some distant memory thought it looked vaguely Roman in Earth terms. It was a dark burgundy and not even that revealing, but something about seeing him in it brought back the bashfulness I had experienced when he’d run around the edge of the house shirtless the first time I met him. He seemed to be thinking the same way as I saw his cheeks darkened, but ignored his self-consciousness and walked over without comment to join us in the pool.
We all relaxed in the warm water, trading the occasional bits of small talk. After a while Alex walked in and we waved, but they seemed bent on going to a particular pool on the opposite side of the room. After a while of discussing nothing important, Arcadia cleared her throat to get our attention.
“Excuse me? I don’t want to be too formal or anything, but Ox and I have been talking about your offer and I figured we should share what we decided.”
My heart nearly froze in my chest. My curiosity on if they’d join us had been burning away at me for the whole trip so far, and it seemed like it was going to be answered. Of course we would survive without them, but with what all we’d been through I very much wanted them to accept. Also, part of me wondered if I felt that way because their refusal would mean our group wasn’t worth joining. I tried to push the sudden jumble of emotions down and focus on what she was saying.
“We talked it over and decided we’ll join you. I didn’t have a much better plan long term, and you’ve already proved you’re trustworthy. So, assuming you’ll still have us, we’d like to join.”
Arcadia looked a little nervous while Ox remained hard to read. I felt a sudden soaring in my heart, but Oriwyn beat me to accepting the offer.
“Yes! Of course! We never rescinded the offer after all, plus we work well together!”
Arcadia looked pleased, and I thought I saw the ghost of a smile on Oxcard’s face. Leor smiled too, while Laran suddenly shot to his feet.
“This calls for a proper celebration! Wait ‘ere!”
With that, he got out of the pool and raced off. In short order, he returned with two wine bottles and a few glasses. He eagerly began passing them out, Leor enthusiastically helping get things uncorked and poured. When we all had our glasses, Laran raised his in the air.
“A toast! To new allies an’ a new team! May we do well, do good, and do well for ourselves in so doin’!”
He said the words as if he’d heard them before - I wondered from whom for a moment but abandoned that train of thought quickly. Everyone readily agreed to his toast and raised their glasses, myself included, before taking hearty drinks of our wine. It was a sweet, almost citrusy flavor that bordered on too sweet for me, but its flavor cut through the steamy air of the bathhouse well. I enjoyed it and it seemed everyone else did too. As we lowered our glasses though, we all got quite a shock.
“Cheers! Now where’s my glass?”
The voice came from Brams, who was happily paddling in the center of the pool. Laran choked on his wine, shooting a little out of his nose. Leor just stopped and stared into her glass, looking for an explanation there. Oxcard and Arcadia looked at the rest of us, vaguely confused, but it was Oriwyn’s reaction I really wanted to see.
She sat on her ledge in the pool, a broad smile across her face. I could see a hint of surprise in her eyes, but still she flashed her smile to the rest of us.
“Why are you all acting so surprised? Did you think I was talking to Brams just for fun?”
Elsewhere: The captain of the river barge stood eagle-eyed at the front. It wasn’t like he needed to steer very much - just about anybody could control a riverboat when it was being pulled by horses on the bank - so his attention was much better spent keeping an eye out for threats. He looked to the side - the group of three mercenaries he had hired to accompany his boat and walk by the horses trotted along, weapons sheathed and chatting amicably. He couldn’t blame them really, given that they’d been going for a full day and a half since he’d picked them up without trouble. Still, he knew this stretch of the river and knew he should expect trouble. He scanned the gently rippling surface of the river again, a sudden feeling of discomfort settling over him. A disruption caught his eye, and he let out a cry. The bubbles that caused the disruption began to surface more violently, making the calm stream look like a pot of water at a roiling boil, and the captain cursed his luck. He’d been a fool to try and make his run when he did, but he felt like he’d had no choice. Now he was going to pay for that specific incautious decision - all he could hope was that he didn’t pay too dearly in either coin or life.
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Chapter 27 - I Guess a Bathhouse Episode was Inevitable
Last Time: Having attained at least some measure or personal safety, the party recovered from their wounds in a forest clearing. Aiden awoke from his nightmare-troubled sleep to see everyone waiting. They had found a fortuitous ally in the form of Alex, a teamster who had happened upon them during their flight from Tripit, though they were away retrieving the party’s belongings. The day passed peacefully enough, and good news was had when Oxcard awoke from his sleep. In the relative quiet, plans were made for what the party would do going forward. Aiden, Laran, Leor, and Oriwyn would follow Arcadia and Oxcard as they made their way to Diareen, a distant trade city. In addition to following them, Aiden made Arcadia and Oxcard the offer to join their party. The two siblings deferred their answer but acquiesced to the party joining them on their trip, and thus it was that they set travel that night at a much more leisurely pace than they had been forced to take the night before.
We had been traveling for about three days. During the first, all of us had been jumpy. Many small clumps of people lined the roads that led from Tripit, little communities that arose in order to be near Tripit or which persisted despite the meteoric growth of their larger neighbor. Any time someone glanced over at us, I felt like they were going to report our whereabouts to Daisy and we would need to flee into the darkness. Luckily, however, there were no incidents and we began to be able to fully relax.
Oxcard was making a good recovery. He still rode in the cart more often than not, with Oriwyn often joining him to minister to his wounds as best she could. It quickly became apparent that he knew more about treating injuries than Oriwyn, so her attempts quickly turned into lessons. Arcadia normally walked nearby, chatting pleasantly with Oxcard whenever he otherwise didn’t have anything to do - I had noticed she didn’t talk to the rest of the party as much, but given the circumstances I figured that her joy at saving Ox merited a little bit of single-minded focus.
It felt strange to lead the group with nothing really going on. We had too many injuries to really try to train, and we wanted to spend as much time as we could traveling to put some distance behind us just in case someone was following, so we barely acted like an adventuring party. In general, it felt more like we were a group of backpackers who had run into each other and decided to stick together rather than an adventuring party on a quest for future glory.
All in all, I couldn’t say I really minded it.
In the quiet times after we’d made camp but before I fell asleep, I would occasionally check Lorna’s pocket mirror. The first time I did, I was unsurprised to learn we had all leveled up - I was level six, Laran and Leor were level seven, Oriwyn was level eight, Arcadia was level five, and Oxcard was level six. In addition to that, I had increased in bond with everybody. After such a harrowing venture, it felt right.
About midway through the third day of travel, Alex called out to us all, suddenly excited.
“I thought this looked familiar! See the weird tree that looks like it was hit by lightning? And that pile of boulders over there that kind of looks like a bunny? If we take the side road we’ll find in about ten minutes, then we’ll get to YaDa’s!”
I had no idea what Alex was talking about, so I shot a look around to the rest of the party. They seemed equally as mystified, so I decided to take one for the team.
“Uh, YaDa’s? What is that?”
Alex slapped a hand to their heart as if they’d been offended.
“You don’t know of YaDa’s? It's the finest combination inn, general store, and bathhouse in all of Tal!”
I snorted with laughter at Alex’s mock indignation. The place certainly sounded interesting - even after only three days on the road, I could do with an inn, a general store, and a bathhouse. If they all happened to be in the same building, then that was all the better for it. I did have one question though.
“I think we’re interested, assuming it won’t cause us too much delay. That being said, why is someone trying to run a business out in the middle of nowhere? Sure we’re not too far from Tripit and we’re on a decently large road, but I can’t imagine that enough people pass through to make it fully worth their while.”
Alex just shrugged and smiled.
“The owners seem to do just fine for themselves! Maybe it’s because they tend to get a lot of repeat customers. I’m not the only one who looks forward to my path taking me by YaDa’s - in fact, I stop pretty much every time I’m going to or from Tripit!”
I nodded along as Alex continued to ramble about some of the amenities of YaDa’s. Everyone else seemed interested too, so it wasn’t much of a decision to declare we would stop in and rest the remainder of the day. Everyone’s mood got an immediate boost and we all moved faster - even the pack animals pulling the cart seemed excited. Soon enough we found a simple wooden sign next to a side road, which Alex directed us down.
The sign had three pictograms on it - a coin purse, a plate of food, and a steaming bath. As I looked at them, my brain started to work out what order I wanted to do the actions they represented in.
Oriwyn’s eyes were bright and wide open as we came down the path. Already, a building could be seen in the distance. It was large for how little else stood near it - a big, blocky building that matched what I thought an inn should look like was flanked by a smaller, blocky building and a large geodesic dome. I blinked a few times, startled by the shape. It looked like triangular panes of glass rested on a wooden substructure, making a shape that I always associated with retrofuturism. Leor looked interested too - maybe she had some interest in architecture?
As we approached, Alex rumbled their wagon to a halt.
“You six - sorry Brams, seven - go ahead and run in ahead of me. I have an understanding with the owners so I’m going to hitch Peggy and Gary up in the stables before I try to get settled. Someone should be working the front desk - introduce yourself, they’re friendly!”
We thanked Alex for their insight and made our way into the building. We entered into a slightly small space - it wasn’t cramped, but it definitely felt small for what I associated with the entryway for an inn. A few plush chairs were arranged around a fireplace on one wall and a desk stood at the far end. It was currently unoccupied, but I saw a small hanging bell and a hammer on an iron stand on the desk. Shrugging, I took point and walked up to the desk. I glanced around but couldn’t see anyone, so I picked up the hammer and tapped the bell. The resulting noise was surprisingly loud and the answer was almost instant.
“So sorry! Be with you in a second!” came a deep but feminine sounding voice. Sure enough, after a short time had passed, a door opened and a woman stepped through.
To call the woman tall felt almost like an understatement. It seemed like she needed to duck under the doorframe - my best guess is that she was six foot eight or taller. She was built in a way that suggested the Ghost of Christmas Present to me - red hair and all - and when she walked behind the desk it looked comically small before her. She appeared to be human, but I wondered if giants were a thing in Tal - if they were, she definitely looked the part.
“Welcome to YaDa’s!” she said, smiling brightly. She swept a hand up to herself by way of introduction. “My name is Ya, and Da is around elsewhere, and together we run YaDa’s! I don’t think I recognize you - is this your first time?”
Leor was the one who stepped up to answer, which surprised me. I shifted back a little to let her take point.
“Yes, this is our first time, though you came highly recommended by our associate Alex. I believe they should be joining us soon!”
Ya beamed behind the desk.
“Oh! Alex is a good sort - glad to see them back! Their favorite room is even open right now - unless they’d be staying with you?”
“We hadn’t discussed how we would be doing lodging arrangements, but I assume Alex may want some peace and quiet after having us unexpectedly tail along for a few days. What sort of accommodations are there?”
Ya ran a quick count on our number. “For six? We have suites that can take six, or you could do three rooms of two. Honestly, it’s cheaper if you’re all together, and we have a harder time filling the big rooms anyway.
It was at that moment that Brams began to try to scale Ya’s desk. With a scrabbling sound and some snorting, he made his presence known. Ya looked down, looked a little surprised, then reached over the desk and held out her arms. Brams gladly stopped scrabbling and flopped into the proffered embrace, so Ya lifted him and placed him on the desk.
“My my, aren’t you a strange one, little creature! Can’t say I’ve seen your like before…”
Brams made a snorting sound that seemed almost indignant and shook himself. His tail wiggled with the end of the shake, then he sat and stared up at Ya. There was a moment’s silence and Brams looked very intent - all of us leaned in a little, as it seemed like Brams was about to do something. A violent sneeze burst from his muzzle, making us all jump, and the moment was over. Ya smiled at him and tousled the hair on top of his head with her huge hands.
“Well, sorry for not including you in the count. I’m sure that the room will fit seven, though you may need to squeeze a little. Follow me!”
With that, Ya pulled a bulky key from a pocket in her pants. She bent down and unlocked a drawer in the desk, withdrawing a smaller key. As she handed it to Leor, she gave her some instructions.
“Now this key is enchanted. After we’ve opened your door, you’ll have ten minutes to make as many copies as you’ll need. Just take the key, leave it on an open spot of the table, and make sure nobody looks at it for about a minute. When you look back, there’ll be a second key on the table. Take the key and give it to someone - have them put it out of sight - and repeat it until you have what you need! When you’re done, stroke the first key and tell it thanks and it’ll stop duplicating itself.”
I chuckled - hotel key cards had nothing on what I’d just seen. Sure the whole system seemed a little convoluted, and there was a part of me that wanted to keep summoning keys for a few hours just to see how many I could make, but it still felt really cool. In a way, it felt like proper magic, like in a fairy tale.
It was amazing how quickly parts of Tal had become passé to me. I figured since I’d been living in Tal for a while, it was natural that I'd done my best to try and fit in, which would explain how I so quickly became inured to the magical wonders of the world. After all, it seemed like my life was going to continue on as it had been for the foreseeable future. Still, sometimes something small would hit me over the head with a sudden feeling that I was somewhere different from Earth.
Over time, that feeling had been less and less negative.
We followed Ya as she led us to our room. She had to slow a little, as Arcadia made it a point to walk in front of Oxcard and walk slowly so he wouldn’t try to keep up with the tall woman and possibly re-open his wounds. Despite the delay however, we made it to our rooms fine before too awful long.
Our lodgings were simple but spacious. Beds lined two of the walls, creating a corner for sleeping that stood opposed to a clear space with some tables, chairs, and what appeared to be a simple wood-fired stove. A stack of small firewood sat in a basket and thick quilts covered the bed, and overall the whole place gave off a very cozy feeling.
We wasted no time in thanking Ya and starting to get settled in. Arcadia, Oxcard, and Oriwyn took the three beds on one wall while Leor, Laran, and I took the remaining. Leor busied herself making keys, though had some trouble because Oriwyn kept trying to sneak a peek of the key when it split, causing the magic to not work. Eventually though, each of us had a copy - we even made a copy for Brams and tied it around his neck loosely with a piece of ribbon, figuring that it would be a good backup. Leor had an odd look on her face when she began to stroke the key and tell it thank you, which got the rest of us laughing. The key shivered in her hand and let out a contented sigh, which made Leor drop it. Oxcard started laughing so hard that he doubled over in pain, but there was no damage done and the mood stayed high. I decided I should address everyone and come up with something of a game plan.
“Well everyone, it looks like we have some R and R time on our hands! What do people want to do?”
What followed was a pleasantly lively discussion. Arcadia, Laran, and I really wanted to see about the bathhouse side of things, while Oriwyn and Leor argued that they were hungry. Oxcard stayed quiet for most of the deliberation, offering noncommittal answers if ever directly asked about anything, which I found a little strange but which I didn’t press on. The whole time, Brams ran laps around the room, flapping his wings as he jumped from bed to bed. I noticed he seemed to be getting just the littlest bit of a glide going as he leapt over the longer stretches - I would bring that up with Ori later. It also seemed like a positive development that the movement didn’t cause him pain, despite the healing scar on his wing.
Eventually, a plan was settled on. We would go to the general store to see if they had bathing clothes and something to eat. If they did, we would make our purchases then head to the bathhouse, which we assumed was the glass-encased dome structure. If we couldn’t find something that worked as a snack, we agreed we would get a proper meal before swimming. Our plan solidified, Oriwyn calmed Brams down enough so that he stopped running laps of the room, and we headed back to the front.
When we got to the store, we found someone we hadn’t seen before. By the look of her, she seemed to be Ya’s daughter - she hadn’t inherited her mother’s prodigious height entirely, but still stood roughly six feet tall. As we all walked in, she perked up immediately.
“Hello! My name is Yada, and I run the general store here! Have you ever visited one of our shops?”
So many things hit me at once I had trouble figuring out what to focus on first. The first thing I came to grips with was that this person’s name was likely a combination of her parents’ - it wasn’t that hard to imagine, but it still felt weird. The second was that there were multiple shops. Obviously the concept of a chain of stores wasn’t foreign to me, but they were a concept I thought I had left behind with Earth. Curiosity overtook me, so I decided to press for a little more information.
“No I can’t say I have - where are they?”
Yada puffed up behind the desk and looked proud of herself.
“Oh they’re around! Pick three out of the four cardinal directions from Tripit, and there you’ll find a branch of Yada’s General store. My siblings - Yadayada and Yadayadayada - run those two stores, but I was the one who started the whole thing and got this shop made! Mom and Dad really mostly care about the hospitality part of things, so I was free to make the business as I wanted it.”
Leor snorted and bluntly asked Yada a question that I had to admit had occurred to me too.
“Yada, Yadayada, and Yadayadayada? Good thing your parents didn’t have more kids or that would get unwieldy. Are they not very creative people?”
I may have phrased things a little more delicately, but I was still curious of the answer. Luckily Yada laughed it off and didn’t seem to take any offense.
“No, they’re good hosts but not the most imaginative when it comes to naming. We always joked it made it easy for people to remember who was the oldest - take the number of syllables and divide by two!”
Leor just raised her eyebrows but Arcadia burst out laughing. I don’t think I’d heard her laugh like that before. Oriwyn looked at her and slowly began to chuckle along, slowly crescendoing to full-blown laughter as well. I managed to keep a straight face until I glanced over at Laran, who looked utterly mystified. Ox was smiling - the first time I’d seen him do so in the short and intense time since I’d met him - and even Leor was giving a disdainful look, which was tantamount to a grin from her. When everyone calmed down, we thanked Yada for the introduction and got to the business of shopping.
There were sandwiches wrapped up in little paper bags, which we all bought one or two of. Oriwyn, Leor, and Oxcard immediately wolfed theirs down while Laran, Arcadia, and I went to a small table set off to the side and had a more leisurely time of things. As we ate, the other three began to look at the wares of the shop.
Oriwyn immediately found little baubles and spent a good while combing through a small chest of brooches. While she was doing that, Oxcard went to some shelves that had what looked like medical supplies. He came up to Arcadia with an armful and asked for some money, which she hurriedly fished out and gave him. Finally, Leor seemed to be focused on a small collection of clothes. She held up a garment and wandered over to a mirror to see how she looked in it. It didn’t take me long to figure out it was some sort of bathing suit.
I was really, really thankful that Tal had the concept of bathing suits. Part of me had been quietly dreading the prospect of skinny-dipping with five people who were barely more than strangers to me. The fact there was some reasonable expectation we would all be clothed was a relief.
After we finished our sandwiches, we all went to look at the bathing wear. Yada wandered over and started talking about things, going over what was popular where and who had suggested certain styles. I did what I normally did and grabbed the first pair of anything that reasonably looked like it would fit me, and it seemed Oxcard did the same. Arcadia was the next to choose, then Leor. Laran and Oriwyn were debating extensively amongst themselves, going over minute differences in material and cut that I wouldn’t have even thought to look at, so we left them to it and told them to meet us in the bathhouse. They agreed, so we set off.
When we entered the glass dome that hosted the baths, I saw that I had been right. A wooden frame created triangular ledges that held up glass panes. Some of them seemed to be missing from strategic places, creating a cross breeze. Still, the glass held in a large amount of steamy air, and we quickly picked out a large pool to claim as our own. There were only two other bathers, and they were off in a much smaller pool off to the side, so we had plenty of choice. We saw some booths off to the side and went to get changed.
As we gathered by the pool, my head idly studied what bathing suits we’d all chosen. I had gone with what was familiar - a pair of baggy trunks that had a cinch at the waist so they wouldn’t fall down. They didn’t have the weird inner netting that I was used to in place of underwear, which felt a bit strange and loose, but otherwise they were comfortable enough. Oxcard seemed to have chosen much the same as me, but where mine were dyed a green color, his seemed to be wholly undyed. I wondered if they had been the cheapest pair available - that might track with what little I knew about him and Arcadia.
Speaking of, Arcadia was wearing what looked like a sports bra and spanks. I’m sure there were women back home who would have killed for her sporty build, though given her life I’m sure she hadn’t come by it in a way that was in any way pleasant. The last to emerge was Leor, and I had to stop myself from laughing. She looked like a candy cane, wearing a red and white striped one-piece bathing suit that made me think of the old-timey Victorian bathing suits I saw guys wearing in movies and read about in history books. The lower part nearly came down to her knees, and given her beard and candy-cane coloring I got the impression of one of Santa’s elves on holiday. The mental image was doubly funny given that Leor was very definitely a dwarf, but I managed to hold myself together regardless.
We all slipped into the water - it was warm and inviting - and had just started to chat when we heard the bathhouse door open. We waved at Oriwyn and Laran as they entered, and they quickly went and got changed in the hutches we had vacated. It was with some curiosity that I watched for them to exit.
Oriwyn wore a loose, draped garment that seemed to be gathered at specific places to preserve her modesty - it looked vaguely Greek to me. I only had a few seconds to observe the cut though, because she immediately took a running start and jumped towards the deepest part of the pool. Brams immediately followed, offering a secondary splash nearly as large as Oriwyn’s as he splashed down. He began to paddle around the pool happily, having tucked his wings up and out of the way, while Oriwyn surfaced, shooting a cheesy grin at Leor - who she had splashed severely with her entrance - and took a place along the ledge at the edge.
When Laran came out, my face turned a little red. Now I wasn’t a prude, and over the years I had seen several men in very, very revealing swimsuits, but Laran’s suit was drawing my eyes in a way that I felt like they hadn’t been drawn since I was going through puberty. He wore what appeared to be folded fabric instead of trunks like Oxcard and I had found - some distant memory thought it looked vaguely Roman in Earth terms. It was a dark burgundy and not even that revealing, but something about seeing him in it brought back the bashfulness I had experienced when he’d run around the edge of the house shirtless the first time I met him. He seemed to be thinking the same way as I saw his cheeks darkened, but ignored his self-consciousness and walked over without comment to join us in the pool.
We all relaxed in the warm water, trading the occasional bits of small talk. After a while Alex walked in and we waved, but they seemed bent on going to a particular pool on the opposite side of the room. After a while of discussing nothing important, Arcadia cleared her throat to get our attention.
“Excuse me? I don’t want to be too formal or anything, but Ox and I have been talking about your offer and I figured we should share what we decided.”
My heart nearly froze in my chest. My curiosity on if they’d join us had been burning away at me for the whole trip so far, and it seemed like it was going to be answered. Of course we would survive without them, but with what all we’d been through I very much wanted them to accept. Also, part of me wondered if I felt that way because their refusal would mean our group wasn’t worth joining. I tried to push the sudden jumble of emotions down and focus on what she was saying.
“We talked it over and decided we’ll join you. I didn’t have a much better plan long term, and you’ve already proved you’re trustworthy. So, assuming you’ll still have us, we’d like to join.”
Arcadia looked a little nervous while Ox remained hard to read. I felt a sudden soaring in my heart, but Oriwyn beat me to accepting the offer.
“Yes! Of course! We never rescinded the offer after all, plus we work well together!”
Arcadia looked pleased, and I thought I saw the ghost of a smile on Oxcard’s face. Leor smiled too, while Laran suddenly shot to his feet.
“This calls for a proper celebration! Wait ‘ere!”
With that, he got out of the pool and raced off. In short order, he returned with two wine bottles and a few glasses. He eagerly began passing them out, Leor enthusiastically helping get things uncorked and poured. When we all had our glasses, Laran raised his in the air.
“A toast! To new allies an’ a new team! May we do well, do good, and do well for ourselves in so doin’!”
He said the words as if he’d heard them before - I wondered from whom for a moment but abandoned that train of thought quickly. Everyone readily agreed to his toast and raised their glasses, myself included, before taking hearty drinks of our wine. It was a sweet, almost citrusy flavor that bordered on too sweet for me, but its flavor cut through the steamy air of the bathhouse well. I enjoyed it and it seemed everyone else did too. As we lowered our glasses though, we all got quite a shock.
“Cheers! Now where’s my glass?”
The voice came from Brams, who was happily paddling in the center of the pool. Laran choked on his wine, shooting a little out of his nose. Leor just stopped and stared into her glass, looking for an explanation there. Oxcard and Arcadia looked at the rest of us, vaguely confused, but it was Oriwyn’s reaction I really wanted to see.
She sat on her ledge in the pool, a broad smile across her face. I could see a hint of surprise in her eyes, but still she flashed her smile to the rest of us.
“Why are you all acting so surprised? Did you think I was talking to Brams just for fun?”
Elsewhere: The captain of the river barge stood eagle-eyed at the front. It wasn’t like he needed to steer very much - just about anybody could control a riverboat when it was being pulled by horses on the bank - so his attention was much better spent keeping an eye out for threats. He looked to the side - the group of three mercenaries he had hired to accompany his boat and walk by the horses trotted along, weapons sheathed and chatting amicably. He couldn’t blame them really, given that they’d been going for a full day and a half since he’d picked them up without trouble. Still, he knew this stretch of the river and knew he should expect trouble. He scanned the gently rippling surface of the river again, a sudden feeling of discomfort settling over him. A disruption caught his eye, and he let out a cry. The bubbles that caused the disruption began to surface more violently, making the calm stream look like a pot of water at a roiling boil, and the captain cursed his luck. He’d been a fool to try and make his run when he did, but he felt like he’d had no choice. Now he was going to pay for that specific incautious decision - all he could hope was that he didn’t pay too dearly in either coin or life.
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Does anyone here know of any support groups for adult neurodivere people in Greater New Haven (where you don't have to be a Yale student, etc.).
I am desperate to find other locals dealing with issues similar to mine, but so far I have only found support for children, students, or families/caretakers of children and/or students.
Paid group therapy is not an option at this point -- I am on Medicaid and my insurance is in a state of flux (although that should be resolved soon).
I tried posting a similar message to this one in NextDoor, but didn't get a single actual response, just a few likes.
So if you have any ideas at all, please respond. Because of a recently diagnosed genetic health condition, I cannot take AD/HD meds anymore, nor work full-time. I've got a roof over my head and the basics so I'm not looking to lean on anyone.
But it would be a revelation at this point to be able to chat or take a walk or grab a coffee occasionally with someone else grappling with this stuff and not have to justify why someone with my skills, education, job history etc. doesn't have more of a life.
Thanks in advance for any help!

We see so many negative posts and complaints about rude and cheap customers in this sub, I wanted to share some positivity.
I accepted a pizza order last night for $11.50, for about 5 miles. Got the order, started heading west, and about a mile from the destination, it started pouring down rain and hailing. I continued driving, was thinking to myself I may have to wait it out in the car for a bit, not to mention the customer lived in an apartment complex I am not familiar with. I receive a text from the customer, letting me know he will meet me at my car when I arrive so I don’t have to get out.
Sure enough, I pull up, about to text to find out the best side of the building to pull up to (it’s dark and I can’t see much, the hail had subsided but it was still pouring down rain) and he comes running across the parking lot, I unlocked the passenger door and get the pizzas out of the bag, thank him, and hand it to him. He tells me he had no idea the food was even coming (I guess his wife or gf placed the order?), tells me to drive safe and runs off in the rain with the order.
I didn’t even have to get out of my car and get wet. On my way back toward the hot zone it sinks in just what what a kind gesture it was. I text the customer one more time to thank the customer for their kind, unnecessary, act. He says no problem, and tells me again to drive safely.
I get back to my hot zone, and there’s only evidence of a few sprinkles, Colorado weather can be so weird. Any other Denver area drivers can attest to this.
There are still plenty of kind, caring people in the world, it’s just the assholes get all the attention.
Stay positive dashers!

This was my 2nd year teaching in an urban high school, where decorating comes out of your own pocket.
We share rooms with other teachers throughout the day, and some are not teaching nearly the same subject as us. (I teach criminal justice & my room-mate taught a foreign language and math). I was given that room after being moved between 4 rooms in November.
Admin told us that next year they are planning on giving us our own classrooms, but they can't guarantee it for everyone.
I keep seeing tiktoks for decorating classrooms for a more welcoming vibe, which I'd love to do over the dim lights and puke colored walls. My concern is, is it worth it? I know it is for the students, and hoping they'd appreciate it. It would also make me happier & there are ways to do it on a budget. Some classrooms are decorated - but by veteran teachers who haven't moved rooms in over 10 years.
What do you guys think?

So, everyday we see atleast 5 posts enquiring about Himachal. Its not like we don't like to help, but CLEARLY for some reasons, please just post Himachal queries WITHOUT EVEN doing thodi mehnat and going through older posts on this same topic.
I know even after this post, people will still be asking questions and posting same things (on repeat), but let me try to answer FAQs.
Travelling? The most convenient way is to board an overnight bus from Delhi to Kasol directly which will throw you at KASOL Private Bus Parking (Unless you have other plans).
What Routes you can follow throughout your trip? The answer to this will probably be based on what I have personally covered so far.
A. If you are visiting for views and other activities more than just smokin' up then ...
1st Idea: Pandoh lake and pandoh dam Bir& Biling Bijli Mahadev (from Kullu Bus Stand) Manikaran Gurudwara and then start from Kasol for Remaining days.
B. If you are too much into Smokin up and psychedelics and doesn't wanna explore 1st Idea.
2nd Idea: start your Journey Directly from Kasol (Manikaran can be covered in half day including) .... And then
A) if you are into trekking more and doesn't want to stay at a single place for long then you can follow this route ...
KASOL( including Manikaran) chalal katagla Grahan -- Rashol
3rd idea if you are someone who doesn't like crowded place then you can freshen yourself at Kasol and move to Malana -- > magic valley - Waichin
4th Idea If you have already explore Kasol once and doesn't wish to go again then this route is for you
Bijli Mahadev Shila Barshaini ... After exploring Barshaini You can choose below plans ....
plan A) .... Kalga, pulga and Tulga Plan B) ..... Tosh and kheerganga
If you wanna go a little higher than parvati then these are the places you can cover in a single route ....
Sissu Jibhi then move to Jispa and complete Spiti and Lahual ...
NOW THE SECOND QUESTION ( WHERE TO STAY? )
if you are in Kasol.... Then you can choose to stay in New Kasol ( right side of the market ) at places like Kasol Wooden Cottage, Evergreen Etc (for higher budget)
If you have low budget then choose to stay at chalal over Kasol
If you will go in Single Area villages like Malana and Waichin... Prices of stay are almost equal because of very few options to stay.
I will skip food because of complete personal preferences.
For Brownies.... My personal suggestion would be getting raw brownie instead of buying a fully decorated ball or cake shit.
Stash .... ( Avoid scoring in core Kasol or Chalal) ... Rather score from Grahan or Rashol). Don't get ripped in Malana. If you are there in Malana already then try scoring straight from Waichin.
Parties: Most of the parties happen in Kasol and Chalal. Few gigs also happen in Waichin and other offbeat locations, completely depend on when you are traveling
Abhi ke liyeee bas itnaaa hii...
Signing Off ☮️🕉️

I always found cultural norms, etiquette and social rules very interesting because they vary so wildly between different ethnic groups yet the reasoning behind them always makes sense.
I grew up in an Afghan home so I'm quite familiar with Afghan etiquette. Afghan Turks have mostly lost their own etiquette and follow Afghan norms now. However, my mother sent me to be trained in Uzbekistanli etiquette by a Samarkandi woman so I know both, and the similarities and differences between them are surprisingly quite large despite neighbouring one another.
Guests:

	Afghan	Uzbek
Greeting guests	Men often greet others with a hand on their chest. Women kiss other women's cheeks three times. Elders are greeted with a kiss on their hand.	Men and women both greet others with a hand on their chest. Elders are greeted with a kiss on their hand.
Positioning with guests	N/A	Uzbeks purposely sit below their guests to show how valued they are in the home. For example, whilst the guests are sitting on the sofa, the host must kneel on the floor in front of the table whilst serving tea. Once everyone is comfortable, the host may sit at the same level as the guests.
Refusing guests	This is never acceptable.	This is never acceptable.
Tea culture	You must always insist on offering your guest tea. Ensure the tea is always warm and there is a good supply. Usually it is green tea.	Tea culture is extremely intricate in Uzbekistan. You must always insist on offering your guest tea. However, you must never fill your guest's teacup to the top. This is offensive. By doing so, you are finishing the tea in the pot faster and therefore urging your guest to leave your house quickly. There is an Uzbek saying: 'the more you love your guest, the less tea you pour into their cup'. The idea is that you are keeping your guest in your house for as long as possible and the full teapot serves as an excuse. You must also place a hand over your heart as you are handing them the tea, and the tea must not be spilt. If there is a handle, it must point toward the guest so they do not hurt themselves whilst accepting the cup.
Gifting the host	Depending on familiarity. If it is for an occasion or you are not that well acquainted with your host, then usually a box of chocolates is standard. If you know one another then there is no need.	There is no need to gift your host unless it is for a special occasion. However, you must invite them to your house later and give them the same guest treatment.
Cooking and food	Food may be prepared whilst the guests are at home. If one is familiar with their guests, sometimes the women will cook together.	Food should ideally be prepared before the guests arrive so one can spend time serving the guests. It is never acceptable for a guest to help the host cook or clean whatsoever.
Saying goodbye	You say goodbye the same way you greet your guests. You must try and entice the guest to stay for as long as possible, even if they have left the doorframe and with any excuses that come to mind. You must see your guests off by standing at the door and saying goodbye until they cannot see you anymore.	You must try and entice the guest to stay for as long as possible. However, once they insist on leaving, you must take their shoes and position it toward the doorframe so they can put them on easily, and to signify that you accept they want to leave. You see them off by placing your hand on your chest and stand at the door until they cannot see you anymore.

Handling gifts and money:
​

	Afghan	Uzbek
Gifting money	It is considered very rude to gift money without a cover. In Western diaspora, money is given discreetly inside an envelope. In Afghanistan it would be handed wrapped inside a handkerchief or a piece of cloth.	It is considered very rude to gift money without a cover. Like Afghanistan, money may be given discreetly in an envelope or wrapped in a piece of cloth.
Obtaining gifts	One may refuse a gift as courtesy, but accept it eventually. Gifts are not usually opened in front of guests unless it's for an occasion. It is also very common, albeit a silent practise, to regift items. Expensive chocolates are often victims of this practise and can sometimes be circulated for years at a time.	One may refuse a gift as courtesy, but accept it eventually. Gifts must be presentable and wrapped beautifully. Uzbek society is very focused on presentation. Gifts are not usually opened in front of guests unless it's for an occasion. Regifting items is a hurtful practise but may be done from time to time if it is an impractical present.
Gold	Gold is always included as a wedding gift. The higher the purity and weight, the better. It also used to be common to gift gold upon the birth of a baby irrespective of gender. However, with the current economy this practise is mostly restricted to close or loved ones now.	Gold is always included as a wedding gift. The higher the purity and weight, the better. Historically, silver was also gifted to the bride. Only baby girls are gifted gold. However, with the current economy this practise is mostly restricted to close or loved ones now.

Family dynamic:
​

	Afghan	Uzbek
Siblings	The elders are usually given more power, especially elder brothers.	There is a strict totem pole of power based on birth order. Elder siblings must never be referred to with their names- they are referred to with their titles, much like Turkish culture. Older sisters are called 'apa' and older brothers called 'aka'. The only exception is if one names their sibling with their title as a suffix. Younger siblings must obey their older siblings (some Afghan Turks are serious about this system, others are not).
Parents	The family will usually follow the father's orders and usually the most respect is afforded to the father.	The family will usually follow the father's orders and usually the most respect is afforded to the father.
Grandparents	Elders are afforded the most respect. Usually the grandfathers occupy the most respect. Elders are usually served first and given the best place to sit. When they speak, everybody listens. You must never pass in front of a seated elder when sitting on the toshaks- it is better to walk behind them.	Elders are afforded the most respect. In Uzbek society, grandmothers occupy the most respect. Elders are usually served first and given the best place to sit. When they speak, everybody listens. You must never pass in front of a seated elder when sitting on the toshaks- it is better to walk behind them (actually this is an aspect we have preserved in North Afghanistan- elderly women usually occupy the most respect in our households).
In laws	Once a woman marries, her parents are not usually as involved in familial affairs as she is considered part of her husband's family. It is common for a bride to move into her husband's family home. Her husband, then her father in law commands the most respect.	Once a woman marries, her parents are not usually as involved in familial affairs as she is considered part of her husband's family. It is common for a bride to move into her husband's family home. Her mother in law, then her husband commands the most respect. Uzbek bridal culture revolves around pleasing their mother in laws.

Gender roles:
​

	Afghan	Uzbek
Patriarchal?	Yes	Yes
Cooking	This is considered a woman's job- unless it is an all-men's venue, they are soldiers or they are a chef, in which case it is acceptable for a man to cook. Women are taught how to cook from a very young age and expected to help their mothers as training for marriage life.	This is considered a woman's job- unless it is an all-men's venue, they are soldiers or they are a chef, in which case it is acceptable for a man to cook. Women are taught how to cook from a very young age and expected to help their mothers as training for marriage life.
Cleaning	This is considered a woman's job.	This is considered a woman's job.
Breadwinner?	This is considered the man's job, but Afghan society is slowly opening up to the idea of the career woman. However, in many households where both parents are the breadwinner, the mother is still expected to carry the brunt of the household labour.	This is traditionally considered the man's job, but Soviet egalitarian policies have made Uzbek society open to the idea of the career woman a while ago. However, the mother is still expected to carry the brunt of the household labour.

Have I missed anything? What rules and etiquette do you follow? And how do they differ to our neighbours?

Kyla ran to the porch, excited. Alexa had just chimed, indicating that Kyla’s air fryer had finally been delivered. She glanced through the window at the side of her door. It was there, all right. The brown packages were almost narcotic in the euphoria they incited in her. Kyla opened the door, her smile a shade too white. Better than too yellow, she always figured. In the background, her two-year-old son Devin cried out as he stubbed his toe.
The workroom was abuzz, air heavy with the hushed echoes of so many voices and mechanical parts blending. The collective sound possessed a hypnotic buzzing quality, like white noise. It was funny how the sound of everything happening at once sounded very much like nothing at all. Arthur rather liked it. He didn’t wear headphones like most of the other workers did. Even if he were to wear them, he didn’t know what he would listen to. Music always struck him as disingenuous. The distillation of emotion into recorded sound always resulted in a crude and rudimentary product that never seemed to capture the original feeling. That was another problem—the fact that music was a product for others to consume left Arthur cold. His heart was a blue glacier trapped in the otherwise warm workings of his flesh.
Kyla opened the box and took out the sleek appliance within. The color was called Starry Charcoal, and it was quite accurate in describing the graphite curves of the machine, the little sparkles that studded its exterior. Kyla grabbed the instruction manual and sat down at the kitchen table next to her little dude, who was now holding his injured toe and humming a tune from his favorite series. “Let’s get this sucker working,” she said, partly to her son and partly to no one in particular. She rubbed Devin’s back and began to read the manual.
Products. Consumers. Consumption. Accumulation. The goddamn Joneses and their terrible credit. Weren’t we, as advanced primates, supposed to have transcended this crap by now? Evolved to actually give a shit about the survival of our species and planet? The hamster wheel turned and turned, and Arthur was right there at the center of it. A Packing Guru, to be specific. That was his official job title. At the time of hire, when his manager had welcomed Arthur to the team as “our new Packing Guru,” Arthur had imagined inserting the brown recluse he’d found in his house the previous night into his manager’s nose and taping it shut. Nama-fucking-ste.
Devin was growing crabbier by the minute, hollering and inching dangerously closer and closer to a full-blown tantrum. “Hold on, little man, Mama’s trying to read,” Kyla murmured. She concentrated harder on the manual. Devin got off his chair and began scaling the stool next to their kitchen island, wailing mournfully. “Oh my god, Devin,” Kyla said, rolling her eyes and getting up from the table. “Here, have some of your beloved carrots.” She went into the fridge and retrieved a bowl of immaculately diced carrots. Kyla sat back down at the table and turned to the manual.
Unfortunately, the opportunity to use the brown recluse on his boss never presented itself, but with time, Arthur had found other ways to keep himself entertained at work. His thoughts drifted back to urinating in the coffee machine’s water reservoir that morning before the crowds rolled in. He also liked to add a few fingernail clippings or scabs in his coworkers’ lunches when they were otherwise occupied. Pizza was the best food for scabs, because they blended right in with the crispy crust and pepperoni. Yes, those things were highly satisfying, but that wasn’t the part of his job that fulfilled him.
The air fryer hummed as it cooked the broccoli bites Kyla had placed in it, setting the temp to 400 degrees Fahrenheit for eight minutes. Kyla, always one to do her homework, turned to the next page in the manual as she waited. A piece of paper fell out, no bigger than the circle she could make using her thumb and forefinger. She glanced up at Devin, whose tantrum had finally started to subside, and then looked back down at the paper.
The note, if you could call it that, was handwritten in pencil. Some funny words, not all of them English, were written with a hurried hand, along with some symbols she didn’t recognize. “Weird,” she said. The Alexa timer went off, startling her into dropping the book. She looked up in time to see Devin pulling the cord on the air fryer, and the air fryer crashing onto his head. The scalding broccoli bites fell out and landed on the unconscious boy’s foot with the stubbed toe. “Devin!” Kyla screamed in a voice she had never heard from herself before. She ran to the boy and found that he was not breathing. Carrots spilled out of his mouth. HE’S CHOKING HE’S CHOKING HE’S CHOKING HE’S CHOKING Kyla thought, and in her tidal wave of panic, she forgot that she knew how to do the Heimlich and CPR. She grabbed her phone and called 911.
Arthur realized he’d been sitting in a daze for close to a minute. He looked down at the package in front of him, little disciple to his Guru, and slipped a tiny piece of paper into it. He sealed the package with heavy duty packing tape and sent it off down the conveyor belt. People loved using products, but it was Arthur’s life’s work to let people know how it felt when the products used them. He watched the package fall into the shipment bin, and smiled.
Two years later, Devin sat at the kitchen table, watching his parents coo over his baby sister. He had suffered severe brain damage, but he knew enough to be jealous of her. To get their attention, he kicked his little feet, one scarred with tough, leathery skin, and one with skin untarnished. His parents did not notice. “Heeeere comes the airplane,” Daddy sang, twirling baby Alissa’s spoon in the air. The spoons, which Kyla had ordered online from her usual company, had just arrived today. They were a cult favorite on the internet, designed ergonomically for a baby’s mouth as well as to reduce the amount of food that got smeared on their face. With difficulty, Devin walked over to the recycling bin in the kitchen and pulled out the box from the spoons. There was something in it, a little piece of paper with what looked like scribbles on it. Devin looked at the paper for a long while, then threw it on the floor and meandered into his playroom, where he spent all evening playing with his new box. He had no idea that in three days, his sister would die from food poisoning.
People. Things. People loving things. People hating people. And the Packing Guru had completed the circle, accomplished a beautiful and mystical task. He had made things hate people as much as he did.

My daughter has a friend that lives diagonal from us. We can see their backyard/slidekitchen window and they can see ours.
Their daughter is awesome and comes over a lot to see if mine can play. (They are too young for phones.) Sometimes it is slightly annoying because my dog barks and I’m hybrid working from home on a call and cannot get to the door. Other times she’s not available because she is at her dad’s house or we are getting ready to eat. I like her a lot, and I don’t want her to get discouraged by asking on the times my daughter isn’t available.
Does anyone have any ideas that I could do that visually shows that my daughter is home and available to play? I was thinking a yard flag or a ribbon on the slider. It’s quite windy at times, so I don’t know what would be the easiest way of saying come on over if you want.
Has anyone done anything similar?