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I Need Help Finding A Mechanical Engineering Internship Around West Chester, PA

2012.05.15 19:29 jpm374 I Need Help Finding A Mechanical Engineering Internship Around West Chester, PA


2017.03.28 04:33 td css

“I’m confident that Reddit could sway elections. We wouldn’t do it, of course. And I don’t know how many times we could get away with it. But, if we really wanted to, I’m sure Reddit could have swayed at least this election, this once.” - Reddit CEO

2023.06.08 11:28 slicksexysirroland Questions from someone interested in Buddhism (me)

Hello! I am very interested in Buddhism. Of course, I know very little. But I have started reading up on it and it truly resonates with me. I just have some questions.
1). I have goals which I hope to accomplish. What is the Buddhist belief on working hard towards accomplishing ones goals? It is probably a dumb question, but I ask because this comes from a place of desire.
2). I don't know which sect of Buddhism I see myself resonating with the most. I will visit places near me to find my answer to this. Is there anything in a Buddhist temple/center I should view as a red flag? Is there anything specific I should look for before visiting to ensure that they are legit? This is outside my comfort zone, so I feel uneasy about it. But I will do it.
3). Do y'all have any book recommendations for someone brand new like myself?
Thank you very much:)
submitted by slicksexysirroland to Buddhism [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:27 boojii__ How do you deal with work mistakes

To all healthcare workers here, whats the biggest mistake youve made at work and how did you deal with it? Im a fresh board passer and currently, mag2 months na ako sa work. Sobrang nahihirapan ako mag adjust and I dread going to work everyday. Natatakot ako magkamali and mapagalitan kasi buhayng tao yung hawak natin amd sobrang laking pressure non. Lagi rin naman ako nagtatanong pero parang nagsstruggle ako alalahanin lahat ng tinuturo sa akin huhu. For the past 2 months, lagi akong may kasama sa ginagawa ko and soon, they will letme work on my own. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko na ba mag work independently and natatakot ako na may major mistake akong magawa kasi lutang talaga ako pag ang daming tasks assigned to me. Nahihirapan din ako makisama sa workmates kasi lagi akong palpak and ang bagal ko kumilos. Does this feeling pass? Sobrang liit na liit na ng tingin ko sa sarili ko. Hindi ko alam kung paano na ako sa future :((. Ganito rin ba ang first job struggles ninyo?
submitted by boojii__ to phcareers [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:27 helpimitchy97 How can I (25F) get over how my boyfriend of six years (25M) treated me in the past?

Me (25f) and my boyfriend (25m) have been together for nearly six years. In those six years we have been relatively happy but there have been some issues along the way. The issue that I’m facing is that at the time of these issues I forgave him and we sort of fixed things and moved on but now I am feeling resentment against him, despite these things happening years ago in some cases.
A major problem for me was his lack of effort when it came to household chores which went on for about two years. I cried, begged and pleaded for him to change and wash up a dish once in a while but he never did. I said that I was basically done with the relationship and then he did change and is now more proactive with cleaning etc. I still felt slighted but we moved on.
Another issue was that I was a nurse during Covid and had a mental breakdown. He was extremely unsupportive and during this time I continued to do all of the household labour. I would explain my feelings to him and he would (sadly, not exaggerating) stare into the distance and not say anything in response. Again, after a few months he started making more effort in terms of emotional support. I chose to forget about it and move on.
I’ve made it clear that I regard viewing porn as cheating and I am so against it because of how it affects women. I recently saw in his Reddit history that the majority of what he looked at on Reddit was porn. This was explained away as ‘curiosity’. We were two months away from an international move so I chose to get over it.
These things all happened roughly 1-3 years ago, so why NOW am I so angry? I was angry and let down at the time, of course, but I stayed because he did change his behaviour. He now is largely a great partner. He does housework without me asking, he plans things for us to do together, he’s always checking in on my emotions and how I’m doing. He’ll send me cute memes throughout the day. Why is it that he’s changed but now the anger that I felt at the time is magnified? He has no idea that I feel this way and we are just continuing on as normal but I can’t shake this feeling.
TL;DR - Boyfriend made a few mistakes throughout our relationship. He is now a great partner but I’m struggling to forget his past transgressions.
Does anyone have any advice for how I can get past these feelings?
submitted by helpimitchy97 to askwomenadvice [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:27 PristineWriter3415 Alpha Quillback Spines don't spawn

So I've spent, I kid you you not, five days, five f***ing days looking for these damn things. Nothing. I know there's the giant Quillbacks. I killed them once while on a different quest line. The Spines didn't drop. They have never respawned.
I consistently go to the same areas everyone says near the The Canyons, The Old Prison Road, and Nazire's, whatever the damn name is, Pass and every single area around them. They DON'T respawn. I know random Quillbacks can drop em, but at this point I've killed enough to put them on the endangered list and have 1 Spine to show for it.
I know there's also a store that'll sell them if you have the right connections perk. I have that perk. The store has NEVER had them in stock.
Can someone please tell me why this is happening, how to fix it, and if I just have to give up on this goddamn quest and just go for a different archetype. Please! I'm actually begging at this point. I've genuinely cried from pure anger at this and I'm not okay!
submitted by PristineWriter3415 to DragonAgeInqusition [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:27 Bubbly_Clothes_6365 My dad made me sleep in my own piss when I was a teenager

I'm sharing this story because it haunts me to this day, although I moved out nearly five years ago.
To give some backround, my dad was a single parent with two kids, me (24f) and my brother (27m). Growing up, my brother and I always had to share a room, because our dad had financial problems, and couldn't afford a three bedroom apartment. My brother moved out with his girlfriend as soon as he could when he was 18, and so my room was left with two beds. I loved to use his bed as a sofa, because it felt like luxury back then.
The first few months after my brother had moved out were absolutely horrendous. Growing up, me and my brother had always been there for each other when our dad let out his anger on us, and so we were always very close. Tbh I don't think I could've made it this far without him. But now it was just me enduring all the abuse.
My dad had fucking lost it after my brother had moved out, and I was just waiting for the day to end so he would go to sleep and leave me alone. I fell asleep quickly, but then I accidentally wet my bed due to extreme stress.
I obviously didn't tell him because I was so embarrassed, I just switched to sleeping in my brother's old bed. However, my dad started to notice the fact that I wasn't using my old bed anymore. After he found out the reason behind it, he wouldn't let me sleep in my brother's bed anymore. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He made it sound like I had committed a crime, and I'd have to face the consequences. We ended up having an argument where I begged him to let me sleep in my brother's bed if I got rid of my own which smelled foul due to the piss, but he never gave in. He even went so far that he came to check if I was sleeping on the right bed before he went to sleep. I felt so fucking humiliated I could only cry myself to sleep. I don't think I'll ever forget the smell, it was the most disgusting thing ever.
I know this sounds crazy, but I wish I was lying. He got rid of my old bed the day after the incident, and we never spoke about it again. I still have no idea what happened to him that night, but I could never fully trust him again since that had happened.
submitted by Bubbly_Clothes_6365 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:26 brontehorwood How do I help a grieving friend?

My ex boyfriend recently lost his father. His death was sudden and unforeseen. Knowing the details of their family dynamic, I’m sure it has had an immense impact on my ex. I am unsure, however, what I should do to help support him. This is because only recently have my ex and I become friends after nearly a year has passed since our long term relationship ended. (We ended on good terms and always intended to become friends so that’s not an issue here. For context, we’re both 19.)
During our relationship, I was one of the most important people in his support network, and we helped each other through some very intense events that were atypical for kids our age.
However, I honestly don’t know much about his life now. We only became friends again about a month ago and have caught up once. I’m not really a part of his life, but we have been messaging as friends do, and he told me of his father’s passing.
I am wondering if it is my place to offer that we go for a coffee/ do something that allows him to socialise. I’ve never experienced grief and simply do not know what is best for him and if it’s even my role to be trying to support him unless he asks. But then again, I highly doubt any grieving person would be up to making plans.
So I’m not sure what I should or should not do. I’ve messaged him my condolences and said that I’ll always be here for him if he wants to talk or needs support. Is that enough considering that I’m not much a part of his life anymore? Or should I do more because all support is good when someone is grieving?
I would appreciate some advice. Thank you
submitted by brontehorwood to GriefSupport [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:26 left826 Chance me avg stats avg schools

About me: i fucked up horribly my soph year due to mental health. My school weighted gpa is out of 4.5.
Intended major: finance/accounting
Freshman year: 3.8 Soph: 3.35 Junior: 4.25
Cumulative weighted gpa: ~3.75 Unweighted ~ 3.6
SAT: 1300 (will retake)
ECs Unified sport helper (fall, winter, spring) Community service club secretary 3 other random clubs 2 part time jobs Small reselling business ~$3000 revenue Grossed ~$2000 youth brokerage acc
Schools i wanna go to: -Clemson -Bentley -Wake Forest (lol)
submitted by left826 to chanceme [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:26 BOT_Frasier Request to Germany

Please do an ASMR where you talk to me softly about vaccum cleaner design or whatever, just want to listen to you babe 😘
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2023.06.08 11:26 Junior_Associate_814 I've got a job interview on Friday. Calm my nerves by telling me your worst interview stories

submitted by Junior_Associate_814 to u/Junior_Associate_814 [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:26 RollyPollyEater classic manga moment.

classic manga moment.
For those caught up on the manga, Rimuru is trying to establish relations with nearby kingdoms and factions etc etc etc. This group will allow Rimuru to build a road near their land so long as Benimaru marries the Loli. My only question is why?
Does this follow the WN or is this new? And if it does follow the web novel, spoil it for me. Does this lead anywhere weird? Or does some other deal get worked out?
submitted by RollyPollyEater to TenseiSlime [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:25 Exciting-Platform-26 Disgusting restaurant

So at this point what can be done should I report the restaurant . Let me tell you the most disgusting thing I found out today . So my new job where I server I was eating a salad and I put dressing on it and my coworker told me to never eat the dressing or croutons and when they told me I felt physically sick to my stomach . When we have tables they are served with a small bowl of mixed olive oil to dip the bread in and obviously there is people who don’t finish that and , they told me they have a bucket in the back next to the dish washer and they don’t throw the left over oil in the trash they collect it and they REUSE IT TO MAKE THE SALAD DRESSING 🤮🤢 and the left over bread on tables is what they use to make croutons . It’s the most disgusting and irresponsible thing I have heard especially with COVID and any other diseases, other people might have .Now I did not believe it then I asked three people and they all had the same story . then I waited till we had no more dressing and went to tell the cooks and I was watching from the background how they made the dressing and when I saw him grab that bucket I was absolutely mortified .
submitted by Exciting-Platform-26 to TalesFromYourServer [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:25 RDGCompany LPT: Working Safely w/ Machines

LPT - If your solution to fix the machine (even temporarily) is to tape a button down... I don't want to know you. I don't want to be anywhere near you. Saw that happen yesterday and it scared me. Got the supervisor and maintenance was there five minutes later. Thankfully no one was hurt.
Do NOT jury rig an industrial machine.
submitted by RDGCompany to LifeProTips [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:25 BandicootDizzy7067 A good housewife is a luxury not every husband can afford and sometimes not even deserve

If you are female, graduate or not, and wants a traditional family - husband and kids, DO NOT ever put your dreams and plans aside.
Before you get that family, make sure you are set on your own first. It may sound romantic, heroic and even biblical at first - to sacrifice yourself, your dreams, plans and future to support and serve your husband and kids, but in the long run, it's really a slow kind of death for you.
Never forget your own person, who you were and what your dreams were before you let these people in your life (because most likely, you chose to have a husband and kids).
Only 2 things will happen when you "sacrifice" yourself:
One, is you end up with a life partner who respects you, and wants you to become a better person for you. Only a real partner can give you that - sharing a life with someone without losing yourself. With this partner, you grow together, become better persons and better parents together and apart. It's not really a "sacrifice" when you're winning at home and in life.
Second, is you end up mothering another adult waiting for the day when he steps up which will never come. Staying at home may seem the easier choice over juggling work while being a typical mom who shoulders most of the housework and child-rearing. But if your partner is never a real partner, it's better to let him go and choose the juggling act. You can never lose with a job and your own income when you have a low quality husband.
When you choose to be a housewife to a low quality man (one who cheats, doesnt provide for needs, has no motivation, no plans or all of the above), you're setting yourself up for a lonely, broke, depressing future where most probably you'll be dependent on others for the littlest necessity.
Choose wisely before it's too late.
Don't be like me, a 60F who finally made the right decision for myself a little too late.
submitted by BandicootDizzy7067 to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:25 Snowflak88 At my wit's end. I'm too soft for this world.

I can't stop crying for the past 3 days. I'm scared of already being almost 22. I miss my life and job i had before losing it because of having to move. It's so hard for me to find and keep a job because of my anxiety. I hate being told that the only way to survive is to work fulltime. My factory and cash register jobs ive had before made me suicidal. I think i just might be too weak for adulthood and the modern world.
submitted by Snowflak88 to depression [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:25 kadavukweenie IM STUCK. Why is my Life… not Life-ing? No job / no income, unstable home, low self esteem, no friends, weak family ties…

IM STUCK. Why is my Life… not Life-ing? No job / no income, unstable home, low self esteem, no friends, weak family ties…
I feel STUCK. I have no money, no job, don’t feel comfortable in my home situation right now… I know it’s T Pluto through 1H and T Saturn through 2H…
but I’m confused about how I should be proactive right now and in what area of my Life.
Virtually a clean slate… at this point Pluto and Saturn really stripped me bare.
submitted by kadavukweenie to astrologyreadings [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:24 thevirtualtraveler Will getting a masters and certification help?

I’ve looked all over the Internet but there’s so much conflicting information I’m just about to do my head in.
I’m interested in jobs in Saudi Arabia and the UAE, and am planning on applying to jobs in the upcoming year or two. However I wish it was that easy.
I have a Bachelor of Arts in education from an online university that’s regionally accredited. I did not know until after completing my degree that some countries, specifically Saudi Arabia and the UAE, do not accept online/distant learning degrees.
Now, I’m considering going back to school to earn my Masters degree in education with teaching licensure/certification/credentials, but this time I will get this degree in person at a local university.
My question is: will having a masters degree in education and a teaching license earned in person at a traditional brick & mortar allow me to be accepted to teaching jobs in Saudi Arabia and the UAE? Will this degree be able to offset the bachelor degree?
I’m trying to figure this all out before I put in time, effort and money towards the masters to find out it’s useless.
From the research I’ve done, I’m seeing some jobs (at least in Saudi Arabia) require either a bachelor of education, OR a PGCE (which in the US, is the equivalent of a masters degree) with a teaching license/credentials.
However I want to ask if anyone else has any other information or experience. Thanks!
EDIT: I forgot to mention, I do have 2 years of experience teaching and plan on earning some more experience before applying.
submitted by thevirtualtraveler to TEFL [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:24 thenarratorqfwfq Does anyone have any experience with Hyper Island’s Frontend program in Stockholm?

I’m a non-EU citizen who have been self-studying web development for about six months on and off. During my search for a web development school in EU, I came across Hyper Island, which describes itself as the "Digital Harvard" and claims to have a unique approach to education. Unfortunately, I couldn't find much information about the experiences of individuals who attended their frontend program. Their website seems to be the primary source of information available, but I wanted to hear from actual students who could share their insights.
My main concern is whether it's worth investing two years and 18,000 euros in this program. I’d really love to relocate to Sweden and Hyper Island appears to be a great opportunity both for education and job hunt coming after that but I don't want to dedicate my time and resources to a program that may not live up to its advertised standards. I reached out to Hyper Island with my questions, but they have not been responsive. Rather than addressing my concerns, they are pushing me to apply for their programs.
If anyone has attended Hyper Island's frontend program, I would greatly appreciate it if you could share your experiences. I value any insights or advice you can provide in helping me make an informed decision. Thank you for your help!
submitted by thenarratorqfwfq to webdev [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:23 DryFaithlessness3875 I've got a job interview on Friday. Calm my nerves by telling me your worst interview stories

submitted by DryFaithlessness3875 to u/DryFaithlessness3875 [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:23 TheChineseGeneral 37 [M4F] Portugal - Searching for a lover, and who knows what else

Bruno, 37, from the sunny Portugal.
My job is pretty much what makes me travel the whole country, as I am a truck driver.
As for what i like to do in my spare time, i enjoy the following:
Reading, Taking hikes, Playing League of Legends (i know, my mental sanity is going away), Manga and Anime I would prefer to start via Reddit Messages and as some sort of friendship, and we would see how it goes from there. Not limited to any specific region, age, race, etc.
Hope to hear from you soon.
submitted by TheChineseGeneral to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:23 TheChineseGeneral 37 [M4F] Portugal - Searching for a friend, and who knows what else

Bruno, 37, from the sunny Portugal.
My job is pretty much what makes me travel the whole country, as I am a truck driver.
As for what i like to do in my spare time, i enjoy the following:
Reading, Taking hikes, Playing League of Legends (i know, my mental sanity is going away), Manga and Anime I would prefer to start via Reddit Messages and as some sort of friendship, and we would see how it goes from there. Not limited to any specific region, age, race, etc.
Hope to hear from you soon.
submitted by TheChineseGeneral to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:23 user94758 I need help with ADHD husband refusing to do anything when angry!

Background - My husband was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. Showed all the typical behaviours and was put on Ritalin. His parents didn't like that he had to medicated so they only put him on it Mon - Fri while he was at school. He stopped taking it at 18.
We've been together 8 years and the relationship was challenging at the beginning as I learnt his ways. We have been to the drs together to discuss treatment and he was prescribed betalockers (he has extremely high blood pressure too so they would manage that also) but he won't take them.
Since having children it's been particularly hard...parenting is very much on his terms - for example, he'll do bathtime most nights, but rather than stick to a schedule time, he'll do after he's finished his drink / programme / cigarette. The kids could be screaming, taking themselves to the bath and he won't budge.
But the biggest strain on our relationship is the lack of help I recieve around the house and the escalation that happens if I say anything. I'd love some advice how better to approach this. Below is a typical example of what happens on a regular basis - it's a long one, sorry!
Yesterday, me and kids were out all day. He wfh and before I left I asked him to empty the dishwasher and tidy the kitchen. I also called him all our way home to talk about dinner and he told me he had gone to the shop earlier and sorted himself out. He finishes work around 5pm and we got back around 7.30pm. We were all tired and our youngest had napped late so screamed all the way home. We got home and husband was sitting on the sofa watching Deadpool. I ask for help getting stuff in and he won't come to the car cos 'he's got no shoes on', so I bring the baby to the door and bring everything in myself, making multiple trips. When I come in, he's holding the baby and returned to watching his film. I instantly see that the kitchen / dishwasher hasn't been done. I remind him it's their bedtime and we are all tired. He says he'll take them up when his movie is finished. I said it's probably not an appropriate movie and the noises/ action will wind them up before bed. He tells me it's fine. I go upstairs to have a few mins quiet time as I'm feeling overestimated after the day / car journey. 20 mins later he bring the baby up and starts doing bedtime with our eldest. Mid way through his phones rings, I hear him tell her he has to answer this and leaves to go outside to take the call. I go and see her and she's upset and confused as to where he's gone. I take over bedtime and just as she's settled down he comes back in and starts resetting his ipad and telling me we should get an audible account for our eldest. I just ignore him. We both leave our eldest and go into our room where the cot is. I ask him if he's going to put the baby down and he says no - he's got to sort out downstairs. He goes to make her bottle and has a meltdown cos there is only 1 Sterile bottle left and there is a bottle missing (this is normal by bedtime and has never been an issue before and the other bottle was in my stuff from the day.) At this point I'm pissed, over stimulated and hungry and I make some comment about him not helping. He gets angry, and storms off downstairs.
When I come down he's on his laptop. I explain why I was angry, that he had hours between work and us coming home when he could have done his jobs instead of watching a movie and that It was unfair for him to leave our daughter mid bedtime. He told me he'd only sat down for a few mins by time we got home and this was call was about a job he's really keen on. I said maybe if he'd apologised and explained this I may not have got so annoyed. He disagreed and we continue to argue and it ends with him refusing to apologise or do any of the cleaning or tidying up. So I ended up washing the bottles but the dishwasher is still full and dirty plates / cups are all over the side.
How can I get through to him that if I'm annoyed he hasn't done something then continuing to not do just makes the situation worse! I'm at my wits end and really starting to resent this behaviour.
submitted by user94758 to ADHDguide [link] [comments]

2023.06.08 11:23 DreamBlue22 My MIL mentally abused me my whole marriage. Part 2

Hello, first of all I want to say thank you so much for all the love and kindness from so many people all over the world. This really shows that there are many more good people in this world than bad ones and thank you so much for all the advices you have given me. It surely helped me a lot.
You guys have pointed out many important things in the comments and I am here to answer all of those.
I know a lot of you guys absolutely hate my husband and I can fully understand why. I would have had the same reaction if I was in your shoes. You guys have asked why I think my husband is amazing. Well, maybe amazing is a bit of an overstatement. But I still believe he is a good person. He has always tried to be there for my kids. He is very kind, innocent and humble, and always thinks about everyone. And he personally has never hurt me or my kids. It's just that he is extremely weak when it comes to his mother. Very very weak. He just can't separate himself from his mother. It's like he is entangled deep inside his mother's illicit web of lies and scrutiny. His situation is extremely strange to understand. Even I can't. It's not like he loves his mother too much that he can't see through her veil of lies. He often says to me how terrible she is to treat me like this. That she is trying to wreck our family. But he also says, that he can't leave her. He just can't do it. He is just too weak to stand up for his family in front of MIL. Even if sometimes he tries to stand up to her, my MIL would start crying and guilt trapping him, saying stuff like how he is being a bad son, and that he doesnt love his mama. And that he is disrespecting his own blood for some other woman. And he would then immediately back off.
You won't believe it, but a few years back my husband got a massive promotion. It came with a massive salary, and his dream work. But we had to move to a big city for this. He was extremely excited, and so was me and our kids. But my MIL said that she won't leave this house. She started crying (again), saying how she can't survive without him and to not leave her alone. And guess what my husband did next. He refused the promotion. I was extremely devastated, as it was a lot of money which would have helped our family and our children's college education. Not to mention how my husband always said it was his dream job. But MIL won again.
Let me tell you my husband is scared of me leaving him. He cannot function at all without me. He can't cook, doesn't clean or do any household chores. I do all the job including tutoring my kids. He only does the grocery shopping from time to time. My husband sometimes jokingly says that if I ever leave him this entire house will fall apart, and that he will have to hire 10 guys to do the job I do for this family.
I saw a few of you have said that maybe my MIL was abused during her marriage. Let me tell you, you are 100% wrong. My MIL never lived with her own MIL , and practically forced my FIL to get a separate house for her. I have heard from my neigbours and relatives that my FIL was an incredible human being. Extremely kind, innocent, humble, loved and cared for everyone, and never so much as raised his voice on anyone. He even paid for so many of his nephew and nieces college education without ever asking for anything in return. I never got to meet him as he died 3 years before my marriage. But my relatives would say how my MIL practically dominated over my innocent FIL and their marriage, so much so that he couldn't even do anything without taking her permission. My FIL's sister told me how my MIL practically destroyed my FIL. I have realized my MIL is just a narcissist who likes to assert dominace over other people.
Also, another thing, my neighbours and all my relatives absolutely hate my MIL and her attitude. But they love me a lot. For every occasion me, my husband and my kids are always graciously invited. Even my son's girlfriend is invited sometimes. But she isn't. I once asked them why. They said how my MIL has been a raging bitch her whole life and that they are tired of her, and don't want her negativity and narcissism in their happy occasions.
Let me tell you another thing, if we kick my MIL out of the house, she really doesn't have anywhere else to go. None of our relatives like her. And her precious daughter's (my SIL) family doesn't like her either. Especially my BIL. My BIL is like an older brother to me and has always treated me like his sister. He has seen the abuse I have faced from my MIL and he absolutely despise her. So yeah she can't even go live anywhere else if we kick her out. It's crazy to think that she tries to destroy the only house and family where she is allowed to live and given so much respect. And now she is not even allowed here. Karma's a bitch.
I know a lot of you guys are concerned for my kids and rightfully so. And I thank you for all the advices. I know I should have taken firmer steps , but I was absolutely helpless. I was kind of always told to compromise and just put up with it. And don't worry my kids are fine. They know very well , even my 11 year old daughter that what MIL did to me and to this family is absolutely wrong and disgusting.And I have taught them to always stand up for themselves and to never let anyone walk over them. And they are really smart kids so don't worry they will be fine.
Although, I am a little bit concerned for my son. He has developed a temper. I will tell you why. A few years ago, I received a call from his friend telling me that my son has beaten the hell out of a kid in his class. He practically broken his tooth off. I came to know that the kid had said something jokingly about me and my son practically went full rage mode on him. When I asked around his friends regarding this, I realised that it wasn't even anything serious. It's just guys horsing around, talking about each other's mother's. You know kind of like the yo mama jokes on the internet. Nothing serious. Just typical guy stuff. His friends said how they always used to make this kind of jokes, including my son. But this time he was different. They also said how my son has developed a temper and gets irritated very quickly. They are very concerned about him. Thankfully his friends convinced the kid to not press charges against my son.
I wanted to get to the middle of this. So one day when no one else was home i sat down my son and asked him to open up to me and tell me why he did what he did. Initially he was hesitant. But after convincing him for a bit he broke down crying saying, how he always witnessed the abuse and neglect I faced in the house. And that he hated himself for not being able to protect me and keep me safe. I realised that he has now subconsciously became very vulnerable and protective of me. I told him that I appreciate the concern but violence is not the answer and that's not how I raised him. He said to me that he hated beating up that kid. I made him promise me that he will never do anything like this ever again. He told me that he also hated that his father didn't protect me and now he has developed an absolute hatred towards his dad. I am extremely concerned about this, i don't want him to hate his own father. I told him it's my job to protect him not the other way around. Although I am proud that he noticed. But I am definitely getting him into therapy once he finishes college. But don't worry guys he is getting better. Also my son studies in a really good college. He has told me that once he finishes college and get a job he will buy a nice apartment and me and her sister can come live with him. I told him that I would absolutely love that.
About the Ultimatum :- So when I gave my husband the ultimatum he got extremely sad. He told me countless times to change my mind. He even told me to just put up with my MIL until she dies ( which could be in 10 , 20 years or more). But this time I didn't budge. I have told him that I waited 21 years for him to take initiative, but he didn't. So now it's time for me to put my foot down for the sake of my children. I have told him that I will take my kids and go to my parents' house if he doesn't fullfill the ultimatum. He obviously doesn't want that as he can't function without me.
My son lives in a different state for college but he has come home recently due to the summer vacation. One afternoon me and my husband were arguing about this ultimatum, he told me that it's really difficult for him to choose like this. My son heard this and suddenly barged into the room and started yelling at his dad. Practically shouting. He called him a worthless, spineless moron who can't protect his wife and his family. He said and I quote, 'You are an absolute weak and pathetic man, you don't have the balls to protect your wife, who does everything for you. You don't have the guts to protect your family , you are the kind of person who should have never became a husband or a parent'. At this point my heart was breaking , I didn't want my son and his dad's relationship to break like that. Not to mention my husband was absolutely scared of him. He is 5'6" and my son is 6'2"(he gets the height from my side of the family). Now, my husband has finally agreed to buy an apartment. I told him that I would take my kids and live there. To which my son looked at me (he was still fuming with rage) and told me, 'There is no way in hell you are leaving this house. This house belongs to you more than anyone. For 21 years you have loved and cared for this house and this family. If anyone's gonna leave, it's gonna be your evil MIL, as she is the one responsible for the abuse and breaking up the family'.
At this point my MIL came into the room and heard everything ( she didn't knew about the ultimatum). She got angry and said how dare I even think of kicking her out of her own house. To which my son stepped up and said, ' If you ever talk to my mother like that, try to disrespect her, even so much as raise your voice against her, I will kick you out of this house and throw you into the street myself. I don't care what anybody thinks, no one can stop me. You are lucky we are putting you into an apartment, cause if it was upto me , I will put you in an adult home'. After this my MIL is pretty much terrified of my son. She has finally realized she can't manipulate anyone anymore. Although as a last hail mary, my MIL started calling all of her relatives saying how I am a terrible person and is kicking her out of her own house. Funny thing is, those same relatives would later call me , congratulating me and telling me that I did the right thing and that I should have done it sooner. Even my neighbours are really happy about this.
Final note :- So me and my husband went apartment hunting the other day, it will be a 1BHK apartment with an attached bathroom. Her own kitchen where she can cook herself. My husband is obviously not too thrilled about this but it doesnt matter anymore. She will be moving her ass out of the house by the end of July. Freedom finally.
PS :- But even after all this I still never received an apology from her. Not that it will change anything. She still remains her usual stubborn self. She doesn't talk to me anymore, or my kids. Which is for the better I guess. She has tried to manipulate my husband by crying and sobbing but that didn't change anything, my son made sure of that.
Well, this is it for now, I will update you later on about everything else that happens.
submitted by DreamBlue22 to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]