I have to pass a drug test (50ng/ml) for an internship this summer. I took this at home test after not smoking for three weeks and lightly for two weeks before that. I seemingly failed at even the 100ng/ml level. How can I pass? Cheat? Dilution? By now willing to do anything.

Well, my father is triggering my mind, making these thoughts appear again, Throughout my 23 years, there has not been a month in which there was a strong fight between my father and me, verbal fights, sometimes physical, sometimes I deserve it and other times I don't, we have even had fights in the that the subject of suicide is brought up because he knows that I had 4 attempts to take my life and sometimes he brings up the subject in fights to show my weaknesses, calling me a coward because I cannot do it and because it is not something that a "man would do to face his problems" even sometimes I feel that he tells me between the lines "do it, I dare you", I would like to believe that this is not the case, going back to the problem, today he crossed the line, because I literally did nothing, we were watching TV as a family and speaking in common, he had started talking about people in such a negative way (he is a person with racist and sometimes fascist leanings) so I told him that what he was doing was wrong, it was not right and that this was not the father with whom I have been sharing all these days, he got upset because according to him, he can say what he wants because he is at home and he started yelling at me and insulting me, so everyone told me to go to the room and leave him alone, which I did and he kept yelling alone while I had locked myself in, I felt so bad for the things he had told me that when I closed the door I hit it, which made him go up to try and hit me again. violently as usual and thank God he had put the lock on my door, which made my brothers go upstairs to intervene and calm him down because everything indicated that the neighbors were going to call the police (again) or I was going to call the police. to do, since the last time the police intervened in my house due to one of our fights, they had told me that on those occasions I should call the family police station, which I was going to do, but I left things alone because the least I needed at that moment it was more problems, so I finished the soup in the room while my dad went back to get his marijuana vaporizer, he sat in the living room with my mom and my brothers to listen to music and talk, while I was locked up here and again that wave of defeat and exhaustion embraced me, I felt empty and the only thing I could feel was again that I was lost, going towards a current of negative feelings and madness, in which I put myself in this worrying scenario for me because every time this happens with my father (it only happens with him, I don't have any situation that drives me to commit suicide, only him) every time this happens with him, my mind it seems to give more and more importance to suicide, the worst thing is that I have been trying to be a good son but it seems that it will never be enough, for me the love of my father is very important but I always screw up for the simple fact of talking, for Just exist and the truth is I don't have to put up with this shit, I have good grades, friends, a future, but why does that demon dominate me so much, why do I feel so defeated by my father? Am I being a bad son because I have to agree with absolutely everything he says, even if it's something I shouldn't say? Haven't I matured enough? They told me to move but I can't, I'm practically in a situation of subordination because he's paying for my studies and I don't have time to work. If I had to move I would have to cancel my studies, which is what I like the most and it supports me. aim for life, dedicate myself to a slave job from 5pm to 2am and leave behind so much emotional work that I did with my father, I don't want to give up my family anyway. oh, and the help lines in my country don't work. I know its too much text, have a good night! Be safeee

I bought a Coach state Carryall 38 from the Outlet sale. I used it for the first time today, and tripped on the concrete stairs outside the parking garage and smacked the corner and front of the bag on the ground. I go up those stairs every single day, and I have never fallen in 2 years until today! Just had to vent about it somewhere to people who would understand 😂
Luckily there is only a very tiny scuff on the corner of the bag, so I suppose it’s a testament to full grain leather.

This is like my 4th or 5th time trying to quit, so I am a lot better prepared on what to expect.
This week is going to be the hardest. I am not going to get much sleep, have much of an appetite, and I am going to have a really short fuse.
The first few days are so hard to actually cut out. I went to our community pool today and swam 2.5KM just so I would be exhausted for tonight and hungry for dinner. This is by far the most I have ever swam in my life.
Tomorrow, I plan on going to play tennis right after work. I need activities planned all the time in the first few weeks because if I stay and home and relax, my cravings get crazy.
Also not looking forward to the night sweats at all, I always wake up absolutely drenched.

Guo Yan's Circumstances of adultery were ruined by discovery，Bannon'sevil backstage manipulator emerged.
After Guo fled from China, he sought political asylum from America on the grounds of political persecution of the Communist Party of China，and follow the bad example of Bannon,and on the grounds of "anti-Communist",he swanked private equity funds around to make profits and enjoy himself With guo cheat was caught series of deception, there is despair guo cheat another tentacle appear in the eyes of the world；Yanlimeng published "pheasant paper" to pan, the Chinese government based on "the Chinese government will cover coronavirus truth" and "will be coronavirus laboratory" as the theme, false fabricate argument, with no logical jargon, diddle netizen trust non-professional areas, with national epidemic prevention and control the rhythm. However, Yan's"academic paper" was quickly beaten up by variousmedia,departments,platforms,experts and other groups. After that, the false doctor and Guo cheat were exposed, and Bannon gradually surfaced.
In early January 2020, Yan Limeng revealed her self-described"Novel Coronavirus Primary Data"to the "Lutheran Society"，a we-media owned by Guo.On April 28,Yan Limeng fled from Hong Kong，she pose as"research expert on novel coronavirus" and "world's top virologist""research expert on novel coronavirus" an d a "world's top virologist".（In fact，her true identity is the researcher of public health laboratory of the University of Hong Kong.）In July,she accepted the interview by Fox，and claimed that China was concealing the truth of the Novel Coronavirus epidemic.Owever, at that time, other than Fox NewS Network, noother mainstream media reportedon her discusion. On Sept.14th，Yan published "academic papers" on Twitter and Zenodo，Although the paper did not state the source of the virus，but in the Fox interview，Yan Limeng directly pointed out that the Wuhan Institute of Virology in China has artificially created the new coronavirus, and was inspired by the Communist Party of China to spreadit around the world. As soon as the paper was published,it was widely circulated and condemned China.
How could such a litle-known 32-year-old woman, who has just graduated from a PhD, be so Confident and brazen as to declare herself a "researcher and "the world's top virologist"? What great discoveries or outstanding contributions have you made before? I'm afraid that the qualifications for "experts" are not enough.Besides, the School of Public Health of the University of Hong Kong has declared that Yan has not conducted any human-to-human research on novel coronavirus in the University.The "academic" paper writen by this kind of person and junior high school graduate Guo cheat cheat trick again have what difference, Where is her credibility？
Lies can never changes fact. On the one hand,Yan Limeng's paper has atracted much atention from al sectors of society since it was published.Many foreign experts pointed out that Yan Limeng's paper is ful of loopholes and groundles, and many important arguments in the paper are speculative, and some are evencompletely fictitious.On the other hand, Yans "academic papers" have not been submitted to academic journals, nor have they been discussed and reviewed by her peers. Instead,they have been posted on Zenodo, an open resource website for academic research. Is it true that Yan Limeng knew that her "academic paper"had no scientitic basis, was made up, and could not stand scientific scrutiny? Meanwhile, less than two days after Yan posted a link to the "paper" on her personal twitter account, Twiter authorities banned for Yan's account. Subsequently， the Facebook also marked the post on the Fox News show "Tucker Carlson Tonight Show" as "false information".
In addition, Yan Li dreamed that the United States has so far been trying to distance itself fromGuo in interviews, saying that it is only on the road of "anti-communist" ideas and does not want tojoin Guo's organization. But under al the evidence prove that Yan and Guo are lying, Yan Limeng and Guo cheat have an inseparable relationship. For example, in early January,why did Yan Limeng not disclose the so-caled "novel coronavirus primary information" to other news media, but to the "Lutheran Society", a self-media owned by Guo cheat? Yan Limeng escaped from Hong Kong in April and acepted an interview with Fox News in July. During this period, no wel-known media reported the so-caled "novel coronavirus from Wuhan Institute of Virology in China" by Yan Limeng. Moreover, some big V claimed that Yan Limeng lived in Lu's home for several months on the run.Yan Limeng also said in an interview that "Guo Wengui is the key person who helped Yan Limeng succesfuly escape from Hong Kong to the United States. Guo is the person Yan respects the most!"Moreover, the afiliated research institutions that Yan Limeng published her "academic papers" on Zenodo are the Law Society and the Law Foundation, both of which are non-profitorganizations founded by Bannon. These two institutions have not conducted any academic research before, etc... Various signs indicate that Ms. Yan and Mr Guo were in contact before the outbreak of novel coronavirus.
At this point, Yan Limeng's false argument in all sides of the academic, experts, platform underthe wisdom of the eyes showthe true body, Guo and Yan Limeng’s self-evident innocence was also torn off the veil of hypocrisy，The conspiracy between Guo and Yan is over.
Let is talk about the boss in the background，former White Housechief strategist and adviser to the president, Stephen Kevin Bannon.
With regard to the Bannon，we only know that after Guo Huo exiled in the United States, Bannon has been Guo Huo's "supporter" and "consiglior" identity, in fact,Guo Wengui is Bannon's puppet, the real mastermind is actualy Bannon.In contrast,the "Yelow Vest"movement in France caused serious damage to the social order in France with large-scale mas demonstrations. Although on the surface is the French government to raise oil prices and spontaneous demonstrations, but those who have "secretly make the rudder, and among them, the figure of bannon everywhere, in a later interview bannon admits that its participation in theFrench" yelow waistcoat "movement planning，at a deeper level, it is not an exaggeration to say that Bannon is the "founder" of the "Yellow Vest" movement.The ideas advocated by Bannon are extreme ultra-nationalism and conspiracy theories. How can such a person be wiling to be the little fan of such immorons as Guo? He has the power to incite national movements in most countries around the world and cause a country to colapse from within.
Therefore, the relationship between Bannon and Guo cheat can only be Bannon is king, Guo cheat is a puppet, ut at this stage for a variety of reasons, the beast has not revealed his tusks, but from him and Guo cheat planning "breaking the news revolution" since, the role of the two people and the social status, it is not difficult to see who is the real behind tne scenes！

Looking for some travel pumping advice! I go back to work in July and typically travel once a month for about 48ish hours at a time, so one overnight stay followed by a full day of work and a late night flight home. I’ve stayed in a hotel twice since baby arrived and both times the hotel mini fridge didn’t get cold enough to refreeze my ice packs. I do use the fridge hack and planned to keep my pump parts in a cooler the second day of my trip but this doesn’t work if I don’t have ice packs. I know I can invest in the Ceres Chill for my milk but wondering if there’s any way around buying multiple sets of pump parts.
I did see one suggestion to use a headache pack and fill with ice, not sure if anyone has tried this.

I've noticed a lot of people on here doing lazer hair removal treatments to help with HS. That isn't really possible for me right now so I was curious if anyone has tried the at home lazer hair removal devices? Do they work as well?

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Guo Yan's Circumstances of adultery were ruined by discovery，Bannon'sevil backstage manipulator emerged.
After Guo fled from China, he sought political asylum from America on the grounds of political persecution of the Communist Party of China，and follow the bad example of Bannon,and on the grounds of "anti-Communist",he swanked private equity funds around to make profits and enjoy himself With guo cheat was caught series of deception, there is despair guo cheat another tentacle appear in the eyes of the world；Yanlimeng published "pheasant paper" to pan, the Chinese government based on "the Chinese government will cover coronavirus truth" and "will be coronavirus laboratory" as the theme, false fabricate argument, with no logical jargon, diddle netizen trust non-professional areas, with national epidemic prevention and control the rhythm. However, Yan's"academic paper" was quickly beaten up by variousmedia,departments,platforms,experts and other groups. After that, the false doctor and Guo cheat were exposed, and Bannon gradually surfaced.
In early January 2020, Yan Limeng revealed her self-described"Novel Coronavirus Primary Data"to the "Lutheran Society"，a we-media owned by Guo.On April 28,Yan Limeng fled from Hong Kong，she pose as"research expert on novel coronavirus" and "world's top virologist""research expert on novel coronavirus" an d a "world's top virologist".（In fact，her true identity is the researcher of public health laboratory of the University of Hong Kong.）In July,she accepted the interview by Fox，and claimed that China was concealing the truth of the Novel Coronavirus epidemic.Owever, at that time, other than Fox NewS Network, noother mainstream media reportedon her discusion. On Sept.14th，Yan published "academic papers" on Twitter and Zenodo，Although the paper did not state the source of the virus，but in the Fox interview，Yan Limeng directly pointed out that the Wuhan Institute of Virology in China has artificially created the new coronavirus, and was inspired by the Communist Party of China to spreadit around the world. As soon as the paper was published,it was widely circulated and condemned China.
How could such a litle-known 32-year-old woman, who has just graduated from a PhD, be so Confident and brazen as to declare herself a "researcher and "the world's top virologist"? What great discoveries or outstanding contributions have you made before? I'm afraid that the qualifications for "experts" are not enough.Besides, the School of Public Health of the University of Hong Kong has declared that Yan has not conducted any human-to-human research on novel coronavirus in the University.The "academic" paper writen by this kind of person and junior high school graduate Guo cheat cheat trick again have what difference, Where is her credibility？
Lies can never changes fact. On the one hand,Yan Limeng's paper has atracted much atention from al sectors of society since it was published.Many foreign experts pointed out that Yan Limeng's paper is ful of loopholes and groundles, and many important arguments in the paper are speculative, and some are evencompletely fictitious.On the other hand, Yans "academic papers" have not been submitted to academic journals, nor have they been discussed and reviewed by her peers. Instead,they have been posted on Zenodo, an open resource website for academic research. Is it true that Yan Limeng knew that her "academic paper"had no scientitic basis, was made up, and could not stand scientific scrutiny? Meanwhile, less than two days after Yan posted a link to the "paper" on her personal twitter account, Twiter authorities banned for Yan's account. Subsequently， the Facebook also marked the post on the Fox News show "Tucker Carlson Tonight Show" as "false information".
In addition, Yan Li dreamed that the United States has so far been trying to distance itself fromGuo in interviews, saying that it is only on the road of "anti-communist" ideas and does not want tojoin Guo's organization. But under al the evidence prove that Yan and Guo are lying, Yan Limeng and Guo cheat have an inseparable relationship. For example, in early January,why did Yan Limeng not disclose the so-caled "novel coronavirus primary information" to other news media, but to the "Lutheran Society", a self-media owned by Guo cheat? Yan Limeng escaped from Hong Kong in April and acepted an interview with Fox News in July. During this period, no wel-known media reported the so-caled "novel coronavirus from Wuhan Institute of Virology in China" by Yan Limeng. Moreover, some big V claimed that Yan Limeng lived in Lu's home for several months on the run.Yan Limeng also said in an interview that "Guo Wengui is the key person who helped Yan Limeng succesfuly escape from Hong Kong to the United States. Guo is the person Yan respects the most!"Moreover, the afiliated research institutions that Yan Limeng published her "academic papers" on Zenodo are the Law Society and the Law Foundation, both of which are non-profitorganizations founded by Bannon. These two institutions have not conducted any academic research before, etc... Various signs indicate that Ms. Yan and Mr Guo were in contact before the outbreak of novel coronavirus.
At this point, Yan Limeng's false argument in all sides of the academic, experts, platform underthe wisdom of the eyes showthe true body, Guo and Yan Limeng’s self-evident innocence was also torn off the veil of hypocrisy，The conspiracy between Guo and Yan is over.
Let is talk about the boss in the background，former White Housechief strategist and adviser to the president, Stephen Kevin Bannon.
With regard to the Bannon，we only know that after Guo Huo exiled in the United States, Bannon has been Guo Huo's "supporter" and "consiglior" identity, in fact,Guo Wengui is Bannon's puppet, the real mastermind is actualy Bannon.In contrast,the "Yelow Vest"movement in France caused serious damage to the social order in France with large-scale mas demonstrations. Although on the surface is the French government to raise oil prices and spontaneous demonstrations, but those who have "secretly make the rudder, and among them, the figure of bannon everywhere, in a later interview bannon admits that its participation in theFrench" yelow waistcoat "movement planning，at a deeper level, it is not an exaggeration to say that Bannon is the "founder" of the "Yellow Vest" movement.The ideas advocated by Bannon are extreme ultra-nationalism and conspiracy theories. How can such a person be wiling to be the little fan of such immorons as Guo? He has the power to incite national movements in most countries around the world and cause a country to colapse from within.
Therefore, the relationship between Bannon and Guo cheat can only be Bannon is king, Guo cheat is a puppet, ut at this stage for a variety of reasons, the beast has not revealed his tusks, but from him and Guo cheat planning "breaking the news revolution" since, the role of the two people and the social status, it is not difficult to see who is the real behind tne scenes！

Background: A number of people dropped me a DM asking for my second hand car purchase checklist. I made this last year when I was buying a second hand car as well. If you have any improvements to the list, do comment below because I am working towards making this list better as well. Without further ado, here goes the list.
​
Engine

• The sound (Make sure it is stable and not weird)
• Any rust spots
• Check hoses for any leaks or tears
• Any leakage (Check for oil leaks on the floor or just look under the car. If there are leaks decline the car)
• Check the oils around that area (All oils should be cleaslightly dark red)
• Check wires for any damage
• Is there any rattling sound or anything unusual?
• What color is the smoke? (It should be clear or slightly white. Anything black is a big NO.)
• Does the car make any sounds when you turn the engine on? The sounds you DON’T want to hear would be “whirring” or “whining” (If these sounds exist, it indicates a problematic alternator. The worse the sound, the worse the alternator is.)
• Check engine mounting (Just see if the car vibrates a lot when it is idle. If it vibrates a lot, the mounting has issues)
• Try starting the car, does it start smoothly? (If it doesn’t there could be issues with spark plug or starter).

​
Air-conditioning

• Is it cold when you turn it on? Sales people will lie and say it is cold. Trust your own sensations.
• Does the aircon make any weird sounds while running? Let it run for a while and then turn it off. Check if there are any weird sounds after turning it off. Wait for a min or two to hear such sounds. Best, wait for 5 min.
• Check the piping for any visible leaks.

​
Fuel tank

• Smell outside and inside the car for any gas smell. If you smell anything decline the car immediately. It is not worth fixing this at all.
• If you are very keen on buying a car, bring the car to a petrol pump and fill it up. Check if the fuel gauge goes up to the maximum. If it doesn’t, then decline the car. It is quite pricey to fix this as it may be a fuel pump or fuel meter problem. I know it sounds dumb to spend a bit to refuel the car that you may not buy, but this is a small expense to make to avoid spending a lot to fix the car.

​
Steering Gearbox

• Steer to the extremes of each side (Max to the left or right). If it jams up, then there is probably something wrong with the steering.
• OTR (on the road) try to just let it run to see if there is any steering to the right or left on its own.
• Can the car reverse?
• Are all the gears working fine? (Drive as reasonably fast as you can to check if any gears are not transitioning properly. If anything is not transitioning properly, you will feel it is stuck as your speed goes up. The gear may also feel “laggy”)
• Also to check gears, try slowing down as you go fast (Don’t hit the brakes, just let it slow down naturally). If the gears have issues, you will feel that it “lags” or “becomes stuck”. The “stuck” sound will be similar to a home aircond radiator sound but you will hear it randomly.
• Put the car in Drive (D) gear, and see how fast the car responds.

​
Brakes

• Check if the braking feels responsive. (Does it respond well when you hit the brake?)
• Check if the brake is soft. (If it is soft, then you will likely need to service the brakes. Not too pricey.)
• Is the brake noisy? (If yes, it may be a brake drum or brake disc issue. It is hard to know the real cause without a proper examination. Proceed cautiously.)
• Check the handbrakes. (Do they work? Does it get stuck?)

​
Driving Panel

• Check all the lights (inside and outside of the car)
• Check the radio
• Check Bluetooth
• Check the screen (If your car has a tablet attached to it)
• Check wipers
• Check all the buttons

​
Flood Damage Check

• Pull seatbelt all the way and check if there is any water damage.
• Check for any mould or mildew smell.
• Check wiring under the glovebox for mud or anything similar

​
Body

• Check for any dents on the body panel
• Check the chassis for any signs of cement or dents
• Check for scratches on the paint
• Is car panel the same colour as the one in the registration card? (If it isn’t, the sales person is probably hiding something from you. There may have been damages that were sorted by themselves via repainting)
• Open and close all doors to check if there are any weird noises.
• Check the windows if all of them open and close normally.

​
Tyres

• Are the treads on the tyre still fresh or worn out?
• Are there any cracks in the rubber? If yes, then the tyre would have to be changed. But on the plus point, you can use this to negotiate for a better price.
• Are there any damages on the rims (Ie: Dents or major scratches)
• Are there any trauma signs on the tyre (Ie: Worn out with burn marks. These are indicators that the previous owner may not have used the car appropriately)

​
Documentation

• Ask for registration card
• Check JPJ for summons
• Check chassis number
• Check engine number

I'm trying to find a photo I saw in a Fortean Times issue around 20 years ago, maybe one of you can help!
When I was a kid, we had a family friend who knew I was into aliens, UFOs, cryptozoology, and the like, and he was too. He had a subscription to the magazine Fortean Times, and he started giving me his old issues after he’d finished them. This was an ideal situation for tiny me, and it fed my imagination greatly. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent leafing through the pages and imagining what was out there.
If you’ve read FT, you know that it’s loaded with interesting accounts of strange phenomena as well as some weird and sometimes shocking photos. There’s one photo and story in particular that lodged itself in my brain, though, for some reason. It wasn’t a photo of a purported alien, or a shot of Bigfoot, or anything like that. It was a relatively unassuming picture of a specter of an old man standing right outside of someone’s screen door.
It’s been about 20 years since I saw the photo and read the accompanying story, so some details might differ from what’s actually there, but here’s how I remember it. A reader claimed that they were visited by someone at their home. When they answered the door, an older man was there, or at least what at first appeared that way. I vaguely remember them trying to talk to the old man and being immediately put off by his appearance. The thing was that all of his proportions seemed off, particularly his head. They managed to get a photo of the figure, and sure enough, there was a profoundly uncanny appearance to him. His head was far too large when compared to the screen door in front of him, and I seem to remember that you could almost see through him.
The photo itself is typical of digital photos from the late-90s to mid-2000s, with blurriness and compression artifacting, but the face itself looks blurrier than it should be and blurrier than the rest of the photo. The face is close, very large, and takes up a good portion of the photo, framed by the left and right sides of the screen door. The head is a bit misshapen, squarish, and far too large, but apart from the fact that it seems you can slightly see through it, you’d be forgiven for assuming this was a living person standing in front of you. Behind the old man was greenery, I want to say woods. I don’t remember eyes, or other facial features. It was more like the suggestion of facial features. I don’t remember him having any hair, and I can’t stress enough how absolutely huge his head was. It seemed to be roughly in proportion to the rest of him, which I think contributed to not realizing at first that something was off, but when compared to the size of the screen door, you could immediately see that this made no sense.
I sadly lost all my Fortean Times issues in a move long ago, but I’ve gone through quite a few issues after the fact and included a list below of ones the photo is NOT in. A rough year range for the search would be 1997-2004. It could’ve been from an issue a bit older than that, but I don’t remember receiving many with the logo seen here: https://ft.gjovaag.com/w/FT118. I remember more with the logo seen here: https://ft.gjovaag.com/w/FT129. I’ve checked up until May of 2004, but it could’ve appeared in an issue slightly later than that. I remember him giving me FT issues starting around 2001 and continuing to give me them until around 2004. I’m positive this was a reader-submitted story and photo, and I’m fairly certain it appeared in the “letters” section toward the end of the issue. I tried to have AI generate this photo, and while they’re not super close, these were the ones that were closest: https://imgur.com/gallery/Dh6No8Z. The top left photo has the most accurate screen door effect, background, and overall color grading, while the others capture the uncanniness and strange proportions better. My partner also did a quick illustrated recreation of the photo based on my notes, and this is the closest to my memory of what it looked like: https://i.imgur.com/Ah4KRw0.jpeg I’ve been thinking about this photo since I first saw it half a lifetime ago. If anyone with old Fortean Times issues could find it (or even add to my list of issues it’s not in), I would be incredibly grateful. Thanks in advance for your help!
List of Fortean Times issues the uncanny old man photo is NOT in:
Fortean Times 104 (Dec 1997) Fortean Times 142 (Jan 2001) Fortean Times 164 (Dec 2002) Fortean Times 165 (Jan 2003) Fortean Times 166 (Feb 2003) Fortean Times 167 (Mar 2003) Fortean Times 168 (Apr 2003) Fortean Times 169 (May 2003) Fortean Times 170 (Jun 2003) Fortean Times 171 (Jul 2003) Fortean Times 172 (Aug 2003) Fortean Times 173 (Sep 2003) Fortean Times 174 (Oct 2003) Fortean Times 175 (Nov 2003) Fortean Times 176 (Dec 2003) Fortean Times 177 (Special 2003) Fortean Times 178 (Jan 2004) Fortean Times 179 (Feb 2004) Fortean Times 180 (Mar 2004) Fortean Times 181 (Apr 2004) Fortean Times 182 (May 2004)

My cat got out in the middle of the night 3 and a half weeks ago. I’ve done absolutely everything I can to find him. I’ve been posting on websites every day, littered my area with flyers, talked to neighbors, walked tens of miles, put his litterbox out and food and water and clothes that smell like me. I even contacted a scent dog organization that turned me down as they don’t scent cats due to the stray population here. There’s been nothing, not even a sighting.
This has destroyed me. He’s my best friend, like a child to me. I’ve known him since he was born, he’s turning 4 this year. At this point all I’m thinking is that someone took him in and isn’t incentivized by the posted reward. He’s ridiculously sweet and a beautiful lynx point. If that’s the case I hope they treat him well. He deserves it. I’ve cried everyday since he went missing. I want him home so desperately but I’m starting to worry it’ll never happen.
I wanted so many more years with him. I graduated college the friday after he went missing. I always planned on building a cute catio for him when I owned my first home. I don’t want to give up but at a certain point if I don’t find him I’ll have to accept that he may never come home. That absolutely devastates me. I can’t bare the thought of him being out there alone and scared. At this point I’d rather find his body than never find him.
I miss him so much. Blue, please come home. Please.

As I sit here writing this post I don’t even know where to begin. I feel so exhausted, at the end of my rope, and feel like I want to stop trying so hard. My step daughter is 8 and I have been in her life since she was 3. Her biological mother basically abandoned her when she was a year old and her dad got full custody. She sees her a few times a year and never pays her child support. My husband and I take care of our daughter full time and support her financially. My husband was young when she was born and since he went through a divorce and needed help taking care of her and needed a place to live they both moved into his parents house. At which time his narcissistic mother basically took over completely and tried to raise her like she was her child. She would refer to this child as “her baby” even when my husband asked her to stop. She undermines him as a parent at every turn. She has never told this child “no” to anything. She has zero respect for her son as this child’s parent. By no means do I think a child having a special bond with their grandparent is a bad thing but this woman takes it to an unhealthy codependent level. She basically uses this child as an emotional crutch because she needs someone to give her constant attention and affection. When I came into the picture my husband and I moved in together and she tried to insist that my step daughter continue to stay with her at her house. At first we would let her stay the night there frequently as she watched her during the day for us while we worked, but we decided she didn’t need to stay overnight there anymore because she was letting this 4 year old child stay up until 2 am and sleep until noon each day she would stay the night there. There was no routine or structure when she stayed the night there. She had this child still wearing pull up underwear at 4 years old. She would have her sleep in bed with her every time she stayed the night there despite us telling her she needs to sleep in her own bed, which she still does to this day even though we have asked her repeatedly to respect our wishes on the matter. We decided since she doesn’t respect any of our boundaries or us as parents we were going to distance ourselves and our child from her and from her unhealthy codependent behavior. Despite our boundaries she continues to show up at our house unannounced to see her, texts and calls and makes plans with our child without asking us if it is ok first. She asked our child in front of all of our family at thanksgiving who her favorite person is expecting her to tell everyone she was her favorite person which made her uncomfortable and she just said she likes everyone in the family. She stalks my child’s school social media pages and is always tagging me in things or asking if I knew about certain events and stuff which I’m fully aware of as I’m her step mother and she lives with us full time. She bought her over $1000 of clothes and continued to buy more and more after we asked her to stop. She bought her a bikini knowing full well we only allow her to wear one pieces at the pool. She’s obviously upset because we have set boundaries and now she doesn’t get to see her as much because she doesn’t respect them. So today she calls and texts her at 9 am asking if she wants to go eat with her and go to the pool with her and only asked us if it was ok after she planted the seed in her head first. We let her go. When they got back she ambushed us by asking if she could stay the night with her right in front of her which put us in a bad position where if we say no we look like the bad guys. Normally we wouldn’t have a huge issue with it since she hasn’t stayed the night over there in a long time but our daughter is going to stay with her mom for her 5 week summer visitation starting in a couple days and our daughter says “I want to stay the night at granny’s the night before I go to visit my mom.” She is just so manipulative when it comes to our child. She wants to be number one and the most important person in her life and she wants to undermine not only my relationship with her but also her dads relationship with her at every turn. Our daughter is still attached to her in an unhealthy way despite the healthy distance we have tried to put between them and it is so demoralizing at this point. I’m like no matter what I do for this child her grandmother is always going to try to insert herself as if she’s her parent no matter what I do for her, and I’m never going to have a normal relationship with her. Sorry for the long post I just needed to vent and need some support. 😭

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Hi
How are you?
You know how you want to be bowled over and think, whoa, I think I've found my exact match who just fits me so well, it's like we're made for each other?
Yeah, let's find out.
We're not talking perfection or anything, just a really great match that makes our lives seem like our own little Heaven on earth. At least we try and make it that way every day.
With that in mind, here's who I am and what I'm looking for.

• I'm attractive and keep in shape. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but most women have described me as attractive, some have said handsome, more than a few have said hot. I'll take it. And some not so much. They probably needed glasses ;)
  
• I'm confident and assertive without being an a-hole or a d-bag.
  
• I work hard and smart. I don't like to waste time. Unless it's intentional in a sit on the porch and enjoy the evening air kinda "wasting" time.
  
• I believe a man should provide. Am I going to shower you with gifts and you be my little sugar baby? NO. Will I work and provide while you stay home if that's your dream (as long as staying home involves you working and doing your part)? Yes. If you want a career, will I work with that and we split household duties? Yes. Will I surprise you on occasion with a thoughtful gift or something I think you'll cherish? I will. But if you're looking for a life of luxury and a meal ticket, I'm not your man.
  
• I'm funny and witty and have a great sense of humor. I should do stand up. I have my moments and I'm fairly certain you and I will share many belly laughs and tears streaming down our faces moments. Or seeing that cute little smile cross your face because I blurted out something you found funny, witty, endearing or even a little crazy in a good way. I'm cool like that.
  
• I'm a Christian and my faith is important to me.
  
• I'm a good blend of thoughtful and considerate but won't put up with your crap and will put you in your place.
  
• I'm on the dominant side and will lead you well. Not the overbearing, you be my doormat and I'll degrade you as I wipe my feet on you. I mean, I could be, but I'm not sure how well you'll keep my feet clean. We seem to have names and titles for everything. Hard dom, soft dom, this or that. I'm just dominant. In the best way.
  
• I'm right wing. Conservative. A little populist. Traditional. Old school. However you want to say it.
  

Here's what I want in you:

• You're fit and attractive. Not in a if I squint my eyes and the sun hits you just right you look kinda ok, but cute! Attractive. Hot. I find your face and body appealing. I mean, give me something to work with. I do like a woman with a flat or toned stomach. I could love you to no end and be committed like no other, but I can't get it up for a chubby or fat girl. Sorry. We all have our things. Please be committed to keeping the best body you can and staying in shape. Whether that's healthy(ier) eating, working out, whatever it takes. Just don't let yourself go and be a woman who loves looking good for her man!
  
• You're naturally obedient. Or submissive if you prefer that term. You're a woman who when your man makes a decision, you support and obey it. You treat your man's word as law.
  

Now, a quick note: I like a woman who shares her ideas and opinions and sees if something holds water when I say what I want done. Not in a sarcastic tone or questioning way, but tactfully and politely. If there's something you wrestle with, let me know. Ask if I've considered this or that, or give me a different perspective to consider. Or just as good, offer an alternative. Say I want to obey you and I will, but would be ok if I... (fill in the blank with your alternative idea) to try and get that same result for you?
Something like that. And if you're the quiet type and just want to obey without much input, I can work with that.

• You're a Christian and/or very open to learning and following what God says in the Bible. It'll be our guide, our road map for living our lives.
  
• You are very, very pro-sex. You can be a virgin or very experienced. If the former, you have no hang ups about sex because I won't be in a dead bedroom. Hopefully you have a very high sexual drive. That's relative, as what's "high" to one person may not be to another, but you're committed to meeting your man's needs.
  

Note: Be willing to talk about sex and answer any number of questions. Ask any you have. Sex is essential in a great marriage, and we need to know if we're compatible with our desires and preferences and what we expect or are looking for. If you're less experienced or a virgin, no worries. There are still things to talk about.

• You're looking for a serious and long term relationship. Marriage, eventually. Because I am.
  
• You're on the conservative side politically. Great relationships can be had with each other on opposite sides, but it does make it harder and more work.
  
• You love to please and cater to your man. It makes you feel good to serve and help and find ways to do things that makes your man's life better in every way.
  

This is getting long and you're not reading fast enough.
You should already be thinking of what you're going to say to me and stand out from the other women.
Hints: I love honesty. It's essential to me. I love longer replies (not just the first ones, but any). Not every one has to be some mini-novel but you get what I'm saying. I love details. I mean, I don't need the "I had this sandwich at 12:32 and it didn't sit well with me, and my boss has this habit where he walks the hall and I keep my door partially open so..."
More like you just fill me in who you are, what you believe, what you like or love, what you want in relationships, anything. "I love swimming, I try to go 2-3 times a week and mountain biking is almost my thing. I went on this trail the other day and it was..."
Or "OMG you described me to a T. You mentioned being obedient and loving to serve my man and I'm like, hey, if he only knew! I'm throwing up a hand here and making my way to the front of the line so you notice me because (fill in the blank with things you love to do)
OR the super honest route:
"You know what, there are prettier girls (I'm doing ok in that area, though ;) and I don't have all of what you're looking for but I do have (list the things you have) and most would probably win if you compared us in some of the things you listed, but I can say that no one will outwork me, no other woman will be as committed to you, or do her best to make your life better in whatever way I can, or love you like crazy (we'll get there) or not let myself go and try and look good. Those things I can control. So if you're looking for an "average" girl but who can offer extraordinary in some ways, and treat you like a king, you may want to write me back. We could have the best relationship!"
You get the idea.
I work odd hours sometimes.
So if you write me (and you should), don't disappear if you don't hear from me right away, or even in a few hours. I will find you. I will write and we'll begin our first chapter in what is hopefully, a wonderful romance that fills us with joy, love, happiness and a peace because we've found that right match for us.
Message or chat. Hit that button and tell me about you. Age and location and anything you want to share. Be willing to trade pics very soon.

Where: PCT Section D from Angeles Forest Hwy to Soledad Canyon Rd
When: May 13-14, 2023
Conditions: Sunny, high of 78F, nighttime low of 60F, little to no wind
Lighterpack: https://lighterpack.com/nzlooc
Overview: My training plan had back-to-back long runs of 18mi and 12mi scheduled for this weekend. I wanted to turn it from a lonely training slog into more of an adventure, so I decided to try my first fastpack. I found a partner unhinged enough to run it with me, and chose a section along the PCT so I could use the FarOut app to check current trail conditions and water availability. This section was runnable, came close to the goal mileage, had no food storage restrictions, was free of snow, had plenty of thru hikers around for additional safety, and had the North Fork Ranger Station (complete with picnic tables, water cache, and pit toilet!) conveniently located for our overnight stay. We planned to just cancel or perhaps try to find a different route in the event of unfavorable weather, but the weather forecast shaped up nicely in the days leading up to the trip.
Day 1: 17mi, +2700ft/-3500ft, 5:23 elapsed time, 4:48 moving time
My boyfriend dropped us off at the Mill Creek Summit, took a photo of us, and we started up the trail at 2:44pm. I was expecting a long, slightly uphill but mostly flat jog, followed by a downhill into camp. We were met with more of a rolling hills situation for the first few hours, resulting in random intervals of jogging (flat and downhill) and walking (uphill) as I tried to keep my heart rate in zone 2. I typically run in the cool evenings and into the night after work, so the afternoon sun, mild heat, and (albeit relatively low) pack weight made me feel even slower than usual. Or maybe it was my faster buddy running effortlessly on my tail?
We crossed a few streams where we gulped down the rest of our electrolyte mix and topped off with cool, clear water. We lost the trail once, briefly, when we climbed over a large blowdown instead of switching back in front of it, then crested a ridge and began the unexpectedly steep descent over rocks and roots, shielding our faces as we ran through overgrown bushes. After a final short rise, the sun began to set as we flew down sharp switchbacks cut into a steep, brushy hillside. My toe snagged a rock on the trail and I fell, gashing my knee and hand before performing a somersault front-flip to land just off the side of the trail, scrambling a bit to stop my slide down the hillside. After some cursing and waiting for the initial jolt of pain to subside, I determined there was no serious damage and we ran the final 1.5mi down to the ranger station.
We filled our bottles from the cache (thanks Todd!) and located a relatively flat spot to set up amongst several PCT thru-hikers' tents. One group asked us if we had cached our overnight gear at the station before our run, and were amazed to hear that all our overnight gear was in our running vests. I pulled an alcohol wipe out of my snack-Ziploc first aid kit to discover it was dried out... my buddy gave me one from his kit to clean up my knee and hand. I ate 1500 calories of turkey wraps, pretzels, and granola bars; a welcome change from the 9 energy gels I'd eaten during the run. I laid out my Thinlight pad on the dusty gravel and set my Uberlight mattress on it, suddenly realizing that they're the same width and the Uberlight would probably end up touching the ground as I tossed and turned in the night. I hoped it wouldn't get a hole in it, pulled my Buff over my eyes, and went to sleep.
Day 2: 8mi, +700ft/-2600ft, 2:22 elapsed time, 2:02 moving time
I woke up after a restful night's sleep to a still-inflated Uberlight. I ate my breakfast of mountain house blueberry granola (my fave) and Starbucks sweetened instant cold brew (new for this trip but definitely a keeper) in bed. As we packed up, we overheard a hiker asking Todd about trying to catch a ride to a gear shop and post office to exchange his threadbare pack; my buddy was heading home in that direction and was able to offer him a ride to build up some trail karma. We waved goodbye-for-now and set off down the gradual descent, working up a sweat quickly in the direct morning sun. We dipped our shirts in a stream to cool off, climbed out of a valley, then descended to my buddy's girlfriend's air conditioned car at the trailhead. I got dropped off at home and then my buddy drove back to give the PCT hiker a ride before heading home himself.
Gear Notes: New gear on this trip included the Salomon Adv Skin 12 running vest, Thinlight pad, Salomon filter soft flask, and S2S Air Head Lite pillow. New experiences included cowboy camping and no-cook (if that even counts when you can just pack fresh turkey wraps for dinner).

• Though I've run hundreds of miles in this Adv Skin 12 vest, I've never loaded it up with 9lb of overnight gear and food. I put my gels, bars, and electronics in the strap pockets, and zipped the overnight gear (including fleece) in the back, inside the turkey bag to protect everything from my sweat soaking through. I borrowed some elastic cord and a cord-lock from my KS backpack to lash the Thinlight pad to the outside. Thanks to the frequent water access, I was able to leave my sloshy water bladder at home, so bounce with this loadout felt even less than I'm used to on my long runs.
• The Gossamer Gear Thinlight pad was way denser than the MLD Goodnight EVA pad I've used before, giving me some extra peace of mind in leaving my groundsheet at home (I'm always nervous about getting a hole in the Uberlight). I may add the groundsheet back in next time though, since the Thinlight isn't quite wide enough to keep the Uberlight off the ground, and it would have been nice to have somewhere to put my phone/socks/misc. off the ground without balancing them precariously on my sweaty shoes on the dirt beside me.
• The Salomon filter flask was an excellent purchase. Flow rate was nearly the same as the sans-filter flask. However, filtering water from the filter-flask to the sans-filter flask was a bit awkward; holding the sans-filter flask upright while squeezing the filter flask and pinching the cap -- without dripping too much dirty water into the sans-filter flask -- would have been easier with 3 hands.
• The S2S Air Head Lite pillow, my luxury item, was worth its weight in gold. I will never skimp on that 1.5 extra ounces again.
• Cowboy camping was great in the excellent weather. The gentle breeze was particularly pleasant. I discovered a couple itchy bites on my foot a day or two later though.
• I still overpack food. I packed 2.84lb of food/gels/electrolytes (including wrappers) for this trip and had some bars leftover afterwards. I was proud of myself for scarfing down my entire dinner Saturday night, though, and eating all my gels on schedule.