The morning after our victory, I led a small team of Paladins, Clerics, and Artificers, with Rogues outside of sight alongside us.
Well, it was more accurate to say that we took one of the military vehicles and carefully drove it over to the next city. The Artificers didn't strip entire cars bare on the street, they had to get it into a garage somehow.
This excursion was primarily exploratory, to see what we were dealing with at the end of our effective territory.
The blockade was a nice touch. We slowed to a stop, we got out, and we approached. When they raised their guns, I held my hand up, and we stopped.
"This is a formal request for a ceasefire." I stated, projecting my voice with the amplifier. "We will continue to approach, opening fire will signal to us that you do not value your lives."
We continued approaching, the guns still trained on us.
The person who came out to speak with us was more forced out, he clearly didn't want to be the one to talk to us.
"Am I to assume you speak with authority?" I asked. He looked at the other soldiers, he didn't have a clue. "Then I'll make this concise and brief. You will dismantle this blockade, you will retreat, and you will not prevent us from making contact with the neighboring city. Any attempts to prevent us from passing will result in your immediate capture, any attempts to harm us will result in your immediate death."
The standoff was tense, after a few moments, I began to count down. "Five."
I could see sweat beading down their faces.
"Four."
Eyes wide, terrified.
"Three."
They broke first, backing away, guns still trained on us.
"If your intention is to retreat, such that you can face us with a larger force, allow me to make one thing clear." I blasted their blockade apart, some of them screamed. "Your bullets are useless against us."
They ran, we cleared the blockade away, and we repeated this two more times.
Seeing the city after so long felt... overwhelming. I had completely forgotten how big it was. It was almost enough to not notice the checkpoint, and the fifty of so Humans who stood on the other side, guns pointed at us.
"I will allow one of you to shoot me." I said, walking toward them. "A freebie, use your highest caliber, try and hurt me."
The bullet that struck me ricocheted into a tree, The silence that fell was just as deafening as the report from the gun, they stared at me in utter shock, and then they all ran
Several Human civilians looked at the fleeing soldiers, then looked at us as we stepped out from our territory and into theirs.
"Oh, shit. That video was real." I heard someone say. "Look at that sick fuckin' armor." Another spoke. "Are they going to attack us?"
"Halt." I commanded, my troop stopped, the tension in the air was palpable.
"My name is Ruuk Stingtail." I spoke. "For the time being, I come in peace, and invite anyone who is curious to ask questions.After all, it has been a solid year and a half since we had any contact with anyone other than enemies and ourselves."
There was still tension, of course, but eventually someone did approach, cautiously, of course. "Yo, uh, can I touch you? You know, to make sure you're actually real and not some sort of weird animatronic?"
I reached my hand out and he touched it. "Whoa." He pulled his hand back.
Several Humans had pulled out their phones, they were already recording us. I quickly appraised the people around us, looking for anything we could exploit for our own uses. I noticed someone with their arm in a sling, it wasn't in a cast, but it was wrapped up.
"You there." I said, pointing at him. He pointed at himself. "Yes, come here."
He approached cautiously. "What happened to your arm?" I asked.
"I, uh, I tore a muscle." He said. "Doctor said I can't do much with it until it heals."
"Ruka." I said, looking at the Paladin of Bahamut. He walked closer. "Show us your injury, if you would."He did, there was the ugliest bruise I'd ever seen.
"Do you consent to having your injury healed?" I asked.
"What?" He asked, blinking.
"I'm offering to have your injury healed." I reiterated.
"Yeah, sure?"
Ruka gently laid his hands on the Human's arm. "O, holy Bahamut, heal this grievous wound and grant wholeness and wellness to his man, zyak qe coi."
The Paladin's hands radiated holy light, the bruise rapidly faded, and the Human stared at it, utterly awestruck. "Holy shit." He gasped. "I mean-"
"It is not taken as blasphemy." Ruka stated, holding his hand up.
"We are here-" I spoke, looking at everyone, "-to prove our existence beyond a single video. Circumstances demand that what we do isn't simply charity, but the means by which we can survive. For this, I am sorry, I recognize that in this way, I am using you." I paused, dredging up and wiping away tears. "Our people depend on this."
If we were to have any form of peace, any form of justification for war, we needed to be sympathetic. By taking prisoners, we made ourselves targets to any would-be vigilantes looking to serve their country.
By being up front about our intentions, we showed a quiet desperation, efforts made to foster peace, even though I had bared the fangs of war.
More Humans gathered, those who were sick or in pain, we provided healing. I told our story, of how we one day woke up like this, the struggles of finding ourselves in a situation where nothing was made for us, how when we were quarantined, we were forced to fend for ourselves. How when the mine collapsed, we worked together to save the trapped miners. How when we were blockaded so they could force us to die en masse, how we were blessed with miracles.
How, when we fully understood what our intended fate was, the people heard the wisdom of my Emperor and elevated me to the position of Imperator, and how I used my authority to direct our people to our first victory.
"I shall admit, taking those soldiers' lives brought us satisfaction." I said. "They had oppressed us, tried to eradicate us, we gave them every opportunity to choose peace, to choose life. I just can't understand how they couldn't see us as people who desperately wished for love and compassion."
I laid it on thick, and the Humans ate it up.
Before long, we had expended our spells, and I said, "We will try to return, presuming the military doesn't try to carpet bomb us into oblivion, our prisoners of war be damned. I pray your leaders see reason."
We returned to our commandeered vehicle, closing the checkpoint so nobody could get in, and we returned to the city.
We did this each day we could, speaking words of hope for peace, determination to protect ourselves as needed. As always, we provided healing to those who needed it, some people even came, desperate for relief from something incurable, to which we did the best we could. Throughout this, I spoke of things to come, a thriving city, as much a part of the world as anywhere else, a place where we could share the wonders of magic.
I was asked, "Why do you close the gate when you leave?"
I simply answered, "If you entered, they would force you to remain, even though we know anyone who remains Human under the Divine Gate remains Human." It was an embellishment, but it was more poetic and exotic.
Throughout all of this, the military watched us like a hawk, waiting for us to slip up and cause some damage.
Days turned to weeks turned into a month, and we had solidified our existence to the world. We turned the checkpoint into our border, our Rangers found that we were completely sealed in on all sides by fencing.
I declared it the territory of the Empire.
"All of the land that the U.S. government sealed off belongs to the Empire." I spoke. "By locking it behind fence and gate, they have declared it our border, and we shall agree to that sentiment."
It was such a tiny parcel of land, compared to the rest of the continent, but it could comfortably fit ten offshoot villages, each which could connect us to other cities.
Construction of the new border wall began shortly after, the fencing uprooted piece by piece, replaced by solid stone proudly displaying the anachronism our lives had become, and even though there had been no agreement to peace, the U.S. government was powerless to stop us.
The moment I had claimed the land, the moment it was known to be claimed, my Emperor had claimed it in turn. By the end of the week, we had a new border wall built, one that was staffed with Rangers, Druids, Fighters, and Artificers. One that was connected by tramways, simplifying travel.
And throughout this all, Darastrixthurhi was transformed from a lifeless rock, to a city teeming with plantlife.
My Emperor held me in his arms as we laid on our bed. Sharing a bed together had always been a highlight of his being with me, his willingness to hold me, to touch me, made it all better, made it all right.
"Our enemy stalls for time, while we win the hearts of their people." He mused. "I can hear them praying to me, wishing for strength, for power, and I pull on them, make their hearts yearn. Tomorrow, invite them to visit, to witness the splendors of our nation, to feast with us in the name of peace."
"As you wish, my Emperor." I spoke.
"Ruuk, I permit you to call me your love."
"As you wish, slaitov." I replied. "Shall there be a day when we show our subjects?"
"I shall announce it during our feast." He replied.
My heart thundered, it was so sudden, yet... "Thank you, slaitov."
"Soon to be husband, Imperator mine." He replied.
When I announced the feast, the Humans who wished to join us were ecstatic. I even extended the invitation to the military personnel. "Come as civilians, if you would." I said.
The preparations that went into the feast went underway, we had a good hunt and our efforts to preserve our food was going excellently. When the Humans arrived, they marveled at the tramways, the architecture of our housing, our magical wonders. Some even saluted me, though they said they simply wanted to give me the respect I deserved.
I ensured they had the grand tour of the town, but when we neared the wall into the Fortress City, I spoke solemnly, "Any further, and you risk your Humanity." I looked at them all. "I would interpret any such entry as a desire to join our Empire, and will expect a pledge of loyalty."
The look of longing in their eyes showed me that my warning was largely going to be ignored. Hell, a handful of Humans walked right in, transforming almost immediately.
"It reacts to a want to become a Kobold." I said. "Anyone who doesn't want to might have a better time of it."
While our new citizens were given some proper clothing, I led the rest of the Humans around.
"Why didn't you stop them?" One of the Humans, a female soldier, spoke.
"Why should I?" I asked. "I very clearly stated what would happen, they made the choice."
I showed them around the Artificery, magic items and what technology we were able to make was proudly on display. I noticed one of them palm a device and walked over to them, holding my hand out. "Do not think we are not paying attention." I said. There was a tense moment before she put it in my hand. "Besides, this is just a little hand fan." I flicked a switch, two paper and wood blades extended and began to spin. "You taking this would have left one of our prisoners without any form of air conditioning."
I put it back, they tried to hide the anger at my casual mention of prisoners.
"Are they being treated well?" The soldier asked.
"Yes." I said. "Due to the lack of wireless signal, we allow them their phones so they have something to occupy their time when we're not putting them out in the yard for exercise or giving them their ration."
"You're forcing them to eat rations?" She asked.
"We all eat rations." I replied. "Feasts like this are for when we have a surplus that we can't guarantee to keep." I smirked. "That being said, as we are smaller, we need less to eat than the average Human."
I didn't pretend any of that was meant to be reassuring. "The prisoners will be joining us for the feast." I said. The incredulous looks I got elicited a chuckle from me. "If you think I'm being bold or flippant, we have them fitted with enchanted collars that will choke them if they attempt to flee. They are cursed, you see, and can only be removed with magic."
"That's fucked up." Another soldier stated.
"Inhumane, actually." I corrected. "But it's the only thing we have available that won't accidentally kill them. The worst that will happen is they'll pass out, a passive regeneration effect will keep them alive."
"Have you... tested these collars?" A third soldier asked.
"We have a small group of Sorcerers in the Warren who tried to summon a Demon for power." I said. "They have tested the collars every now and again, usually by fucking around and finding out." We approached the area where the feast was being held, food was already being set up, the prisoners were already seated, their eyes widened when they saw their fellow soldiers.
"You won't get away with this." The female soldier growled.
"Funny, that's what we said when we were locked in here." I replied. "They are fed, given water, are clothed, and are provided shelter. That's far more than we were ever given."
I directed them to their table, and soon, everyone was sat, except for my Council, and my Emperor. They arrived shortly after every one was seated, each took their seats. I sat beside my Emperor's seat.
I noted that same female soldier was attempting to film us surreptitiously.
"Today, we are gathered to welcome our Human guests, those who have seen us as people, rather than monsters." My Emperor spoke. "The establishment of my Empire was always a dream, to bring back a glory lost to time, to honor the thousands who died during the first Dragon Rage, to honor those who were murdered by my long-standing enemy." He looked around. "It had always been me desire to hunt down every last one of his children, to eradicate them, it was my Imperator who entreated me to choose compromise."
He paused, taking up a cup. "These Humans are here because my Imperator has likewise chosen compromise, to cast aside the hatred that has grown in his heart, for the sake of our peace and prosperity. Enough lives have been lost, let the first year of our Empire not be drenched in blood, that in peace and prosperity, our greatness is acknowledged, whether grudgingly, or emphatically. To my Imperator, without whom this victory would have never been manifest."
Every Kobold raised their cups, including our new citizens.
"And to our guests, who have agreed to come here in peace. May their wisdom be echoed by their leaders."
The cups were raised again.
"Now enough talk, let us feast!"
The Human frowned, putting their phone away. It was clear she didn't get what she wanted from that. After everyone polished off their plates, the people began dancing as our musicians displayed their newly awakened Bard Class- it seemed not simply playing or doing well at the arts was enough, one needed confidence and a desire to entertain.
Our guests were allowed to mingle and enjoy themselves, though the prisoners were kept under guard, any Soldiers who wished to speak to them would have to live with the fact that they would be listened in on, and considering the guards could use the spell Comprehend Languages, well, they wouldn't be able to hide beneath a foreign language.
"So, you're the leader of this little group." I regarded the Human who approached me, that same soldier who seemed bound and determined to catch us with our pants down.
"Yes." I said. "Your attempt at catching us with your recording won't work, you know." She betrayed surprise. "One, any idiot would know not to say anything incriminating at a party their enemies are invited to. Two, anyone stupid enough to do so wouldn't even make it as far as we did."
"Indeed." She said. "What was this about compromise?"
"Exactly as it sounds." I replied. "My God, Kurtulmak, has nurtured a well-earned hatred of Gnomes, considering their God committed near genocide against us. Imprisoned against his will, for the crime of wanting justice... When the victors write the history books, they will do everything in their power to make those who are suffering injustice out to be the bad guys."
"And what will your history books say?" She asked.
"That depends on your leaders' answer, Miss..?"
"Martel." She said. "Corporal Martel."
I had completely put it out of my mind, after all, we got our vengeance on the soldiers who tried to have us massacred by a God.
"So." I said. "The one who set Garl Glittergold against us shows her face." I remarked. Her eyes widened. "Why were you, of all people, not present that day, when we marched on your encampment?"
"I was called away on duty-" She started.
"Bullshit." I said. "You fled, didn't you? You ran from your fellow soldiers like the coward you are, you left them to die."
Arcane energy crackled across my body, and I had to hold back from blasting her apart. "Leave." I hissed. "This day of peace is not for cowards and traitors."
She backed away, clearly terrified. I couldn't hold back the anger any more, but I wasn't going to let her be a casualty yet. I aimed my spell at the metal pole, the Witch Bolt striking it. "I said LEAVE!" I roared. "IF YOU EVER DARE TO RETURN HERE, I WILL END YOUR MISERABLE, PATHETIC, COWARDLY LIFE!"
She fled, I did not care that several eyes were on me, if there was one thing I hated more than Humans, it was self-serving cowards like her.
I felt my God's touch on my shoulder, his presence soothed the rage, granted me the clarity of mind I needed to function. I cast my gaze toward the rest of the soldiers, who looked like they were mice caught in a trap. I approached them.
"You may leave, if you wish." I stated. "My anger at her is not anger at you."
"What the fuck did Tiana do, that pissed you off so much?" One of the soldiers asked.
"That woman was the one who called down a God to kill us." I stated. "The fact that she is present at all means she abandoned her post and left her fellow soldiers to die." My lip curled into a snarl. "The only thing I hate worse than anything, is a coward and a traitor, and that woman, Tiana Martel, is both."
I sensed a jolt of shock from my Emperor, I looked at him.
"Ruuk." He said. "Say that name again."
"Tiana Martel." I replied.
My Emperor about faced and roared, "Paladins of Bahamut, after that woman! Move!"
The Paladins gave chase, our Emperor did not order them around, out of respect for his pact with Bahamut.
"My Emperor, do you really want to risk any peace we could gain, chasing after one woman?" I asked.
"Ruuk." He said. "What are the chances that a single woman who can call down a God, who has knowledge of us that can be exploited, is suddenly not present when we finally make a counter attack? By our pact, your eyes are my eyes, and she has tried to cause problems the entire time she has been here."
He paused. "Tiana Mahtel, that's how she pronounced it, yes?"
I blinked.
"Wait, that woman is Tiamat?" I asked.
As if in answer, there was a roar, and in the distance, a dragon reared up, one bearing five heads of different colors.
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It’s my birthday and I feel horrible, I don’t want to do anything or celebrate at all. But I have a family gathering to go to, and I don’t want my family to know I’m depressed, so I’m going to go to it and pretend I’m okay
My best friend is the only person who has wished me a happy birthday so far. I nearly opened up to her about how I’m not feeling good, but bailed on it as she hardly talks to me these days for some reason. She said happy birthday, but I’d be surprised if I hear from her again for another couple days

Stumbled on this article series talking through supporters of EPL clubs match day routine.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/88gz5b/what-to-do-liverpool-match-day-experience
Got me thinking about Swans match day rituals. Generally a bit hard in AFL as the fixtures jump about a lot more than the EPL.
Personally I always hop on the tram once I get out of Central and stop off at the Shakey for a couple of beers before heading to the SCG.
(These articles have me thinking we could do with a pie shop/stall near the SCG!)

Birthday Planner is the junction of ideas of various themes and thus the ultimate destination of Themed Birthday Party in Chandigarh. Besides that, We have a wide array of ideas for themes for all age groups. The birthday party of a child or of an old person, there are beautiful themes to create party atmosphere. Additionally,our themes are highly competitive and moreover are the decorations. So, There are pictures on the website, please check it yourself. We being Birthday party organizers in Chandigarh is happy to serve you.
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I’ll start. Both holes are actually par 5s oddly enough.
So my bogie hole is a 530 yard double (lightning bolt style) dogleg hole. Left to right off the tee, right to left from the fairway. There is water up the right for your second shot, and it also cuts across the fairway in two spots and then it’s up the left of the green. Unsurprisingly it’s index 2. I must have played it a dozen times this year and the best I’ve scored was a bogie, and it was actually a bad bogie because I was GIR that day & 3 putted. But that’s the first time it wasn’t a triple or worse. No double digit scores on that hole so far though.
My love/hate hole is a 560 yard double dogleg, but it’s left to right off the tee and left to right again from the fairway. It’s not an overly challenging hole, a mid index hole, some water up the right, some OB further up on the right and water cutting back in near the green. You would need to be a very bigger hitter to go for the green in two because it would be a blind second shot over trees and the water. I’ve had a birdie and a handful of pars this year but I’ve had a couple of triples and two double digit scores on it. To me, this hole is the embodiment of golf, some days it’s a great day, some days it’s the worst but it’s the same hole/sport.
I’d love to hear about your bogie hole and love/hate hole.

It's nearly 3 am, I have to get ready for work in 4 hours. Work will last like 8 hours (hopefully no overtime). Then after work, I'm supposed to see my friends for 2-3 hours. I will survive on green tea/coffee. But how to stop doing this to myself... x_x
If you ever struggled with your sleep schedule, please give me all your tips. I need help.

I'm sorry this is long, I just haven't been able to get this off my mind and I don't know who to talk to about this, and I've been listening to some really sad music and its all I've been able to think about because of it. I'm sorry but I'm going to tell you my long story with a friend of mine.
I'll call her A, we met in a friend group, we've been friends for a while now, maybe about 2 years or so, her and I have been really close, essentially best friends. We used to spend nearly every night together and send pictures of things we were doing and do silly things and cute things and those things I'd imagine in romance movies. She was the first girl i really liked, too, and probably not a good sign. We always said goodnight to each other, we'd send pictures of sunsets and sunrises, we sat in silence enjoying each other's company, we played games together and spent lots of time together and were always open to one another, giving reassurance, comfort, and a listening ear if we ever needed one another. All of the nice things, i associate with her. I really love her. She's a wonderful person. Whenever she got jealous or upset, I reassured her that she was still an amazing person.
But she ended up liking me and another one of her friends, long story short, she chose him over me, she spent time with him while deciding on if she wanted him or I, which just felt like an extra punch to the face, and then he invited me to talk with his friend group and it felt like egged me on by saying A would be there. I hated that. I hated that I knew she would pick him over me, I felt so helpless in those few weeks I waited, I felt annoyed that I had to ask her if she made a decision when it felt like it was already made. But I feel guilty for those things, too.
She still wanted to be friends, and I said I did too, because I did, and I wanted to make it work. We didn't really talk for a bit, but she always came back to say she still wanted to be friends and that she didn't want me to leave our friend group. I decided to distance myself and take time for me. Which felt nice, and eventually, I felt a little bit more comfortable to be in our friend group after a while.
she messaged me every now and then that she missed us hanging out. She missed how we used to spend time together at night, or talk about things or just hang out. Which made me upset, I never expressed that with her, I just said I agreed because I did agree. But it felt unfair that she wanted things like this after she chose him over me. it never felt fair to me.
This has happened a few times, where a friend of ours I talk to, we'll call her B, I have some time with her and we enjoy talking and playing games together and hanging out. And Friend A gets jealous of that, I remember a few nights, I called her, and she was crying because she was upset because she thought I'd forget about her and she was scared of losing me because I was spending time with Friend B and was having fun. I felt bad about it, so I comforted her and reassured her I still like spending time with her because I do, I apologized, and she felt guilty about it. I told her I still valued her, and she told me she valued me a lot, too.
This doesn't feel fair to me, I can't become closer with my friends in our friend group, and I just want her to be happy no matter what, I don't want to disrupt her relationship. She wants us to talk like we used to, and she says how she still thinks of me and misses us. I don't want there to be conflict with her and her boyfriend, i don't want her to feel upset or jealous, I just, ahh I don't know, I DON'T KNOW I feel so stressed, and stuck. I still believe she's a good person because she still cares about me and our friends. She's still kindheared and wonderful. I don't want to leave our friendship behind, not friend A or friend B.
I guess TLDR, a friend of mine we used to like each other, she chose him over me, we still wanted to be friends, but i wanted to take time to myself for a bit. She missed me and the things we used to do, we stayed friends, I came back to out friend group, she got jealous and upset of my friend and I spending time together a few times, I reassured her I still like spending time with her, and she said how she misses us. And I feel lost. something like that, I'm sorry if this was a bad TLDR.
I'm sorry this is so long, and if this is disorganized or doesn't make a lot of sense or is super long. I just needed to let this off my chest. I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense, I'm sorry I keep saying sorry.

Tagged and Timestamp below https://imgur.com/a/RnsHRMI Paypal invoice only
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Bigboy stuff: Rhude Sweater fits like XL oversized imo. Bought it here for some weeks but the guy i bought it from provided wrong meassurments. So its to big for me. Note the meassurments. condition 8/10
https://imgur.com/a/amW9lv9
price 35 € plus shipping
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Fog shirt: colour sand, conditon 9/10, fits like l oversized. only flaw is that the o-neck is a lil bit on the wider side. keep that in mind. i could meassure it if your realy interested.
https://imgur.com/a/yss0Y8s
15 €
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Fog Black t, never worn, just washed, shrinked a bit and is to tight for me. fits like an oversized M imo but note the meassurments. condition 10/10
https://imgur.com/a/C5CgXKt
20 €
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Retail: lfdy sweater, bought on vinted, its just to small for me. condition 6/10
https://imgur.com/a/BcXutXm
35 €
Represent T- worn once, washed once, size L https://imgur.com/a/1EF1YtJ
15 € + shipping Essentials black t - never worn never washed, brand new with tags, material is a bit thin (sorry for bad picutre quality) https://imgur.com/a/SK0vkKT
15 € + shippingYellowish Essentials Knit Pullover, once worn, once washed, Size M, ithas one lose stitch on the left shoulder (i can fix that if neededbefore shipping), https://imgur.com/a/0hcAvuM
40 € + Shipping Rhude Knit Shorts - Size M - L (note measurements), never worn never washed https://imgur.com/a/xIqKDqT
20 € + Shipping Rhude Shirt, worn once, washed once, jsut to small for me, regular fit Mill guess (just note the measurements), the colour is a vintage yellow,nearly white https://imgur.com/a/jiPGGQD
10€ + Shipping Askyurself White 3M - Size L - XL (note measurements), worn couple of times, the writing is 3M https://imgur.com/a/U1rO6Vc
10 € + shipping Represent Motorhead T, condition 7/10, size xl, note measurements https://imgur.com/a/3U7lDFo
Price 10 € + Shipping

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I decided to post this now since I nearly lost a few mini helis, and since the sub blackout is happening soon and I need answers.
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Recently for the past few months, I've been having a problem with every heli I've flown in Rust where the only thing I do is hold W, and the heli just unexpectedly swerves upwards and back for no reason at all. I don't touch my mouse, and I also don't have these abrupt movements at all when I'm outside the heli. Can someone please help me figure out what's going on?
If anyone wants a recording to help, I am more than happy to do so.

Idek where to start this since it's mostly out of the blue for me, but my one hope is some of my experience may be able to help someone else suffering the same way I am.
So from the beginning, 7 year old me was in the living room with my parents and a sex scene in the movie they where watching came on and I didn't even know what sex was or what a naked woman looked like so that was the first time in my life that I ever saw someone else naked and that basically a butterfly that started a hurricane.
7yr self curious as ever stumbled over to the little laptop I got for Christmas and roughly typed in naked girl or smth like that, it was like 11 years ago. But I remember the first image of porn I ever saw and I was weirded out but couldn't stop looking, It felt like a urge came over me. From age 7-9 I didn't touch myself but I watched porn maybe 2 times a week as my addiction grew.
I think at around age 10 or 10 and a half is when I actually started jerking off and I was instantly hooked from the small dopamine spikes and promptly went on the same process 2-4 times a week for about 3 years and over those 3 years my life was basically in ruins. I gained a lot of weight, everything I did felt boring, I was severely demotivated to the point even getting out of bed didn't seem worth it, it was nearly impossible to make me happy and I had depression by the age of 12 and had random times where I would just breakdown and cry and small things would almost always lead to a mental breakdown, I was clinically online cause nothing really made me happy so I thought watching other people be happy would make me happy (it didn't).
Of course I had several times where I quit but I always ended up relapsing 10x worse and going like 2 times 7 days a week. Which was really unhealthy not just for my mental health but for my physical health I felt weak and just felt like I was on autopilot most of the time.
At around age 14-17 puberty didn't make it any easier but it was also the time I got into my religion and masturbation was a sin and all that so I felt even more guilty but this was the time where I tried to step up and knew I needed to do something and I'm currently in that process right now of quitting. Now for the advice.

 ADVICE ADVICE ADVICE ADVICE ADVICE 

1.Get the device or whatever you watch porn on and put it as far away as possible. No this doesn't mean like out of your house or smth but like on the other side of the house.

1. Whenever you feel an urge, practice or do something productive even if it's night get up and just stand or do jumping jacks for a little or you could even watch a movie.
   
2. Therapy, I know people don't wanna hear it but this is one of the best methods is for professional help. Personally I had to get through myself cause therapy was expensive and my therapist wasn't good.
   
3. Wear headphones or play something loudly like music or even rain/white noise I prefer headphones personally but the reason for this is it makes my mind go blank cause I'm focusing on the noise and can't concentrate on thought.
   
4. Don't go looking for serious things on here unless its for advice or your trying to learn from someone else. This is mostly optional but the reason for this is all these serious things can bum a person out sometimes it's nice to just look at some anti porn memes to give you some encouragement to keep going.
   

Sorry if the grammar is bad it's 4:35 am and I'm tired and a lil sad now lol. Much love and good luck everyone.

TLDR; Drove 12 hours to see my ex who I still love. She said she isnt ready to see or talk to me. I have an idea to make a sign that says I Love you and post it near her house. Grand gesture or overstep?
Myself (m27) and partner (f25) decided to breakup after almost 2 years. We were having alot of struggles communicating through hard stuff (the rest of the relationship was amazing) and things needed to change. She said was not happy. So I moved away for a new job because I thought that it was the best for us. Its been 2 months and Ive gone to therapy, done some serious work and came to some life changing conclusions about myself and our relationship. I had so much doubt about our love because I was scared to commit and be vulnerable and didnt love myself in the ways I needed to. I finally feel like I know what I want. I want her. (I knew this all along, I just needed to work through my own stuff)
We had planned to talk this week, so I decided to drive 12 hours to see her and give us the opportunity to talk in person. She has always been someone who deeply appreciates grand gestures. However, I gave her a warning instead of showing up unexpectedly and she said she wasnt ready to see me. I asked if we could talk on the phone. She said she wasnt ready to talk.
I did the drive. Im here but I cant do any of the things I was hoping for.
So... I have a crazy idea. I know where she lives (we lived together for almost a year). I want to make a sign that says: "Her name, I Love You - My Initials"
I would post it on the corner by her house so when she leaves she would see it.
Is this an overstep? Am I crazy? Am I breaking her boundaries? Is there a better way to have the same effect? Am I better off leaving her alone?
Would love to hear everyones thoughts! Thanks!

For the best lazy reading weekend, I would find a comfy spot in my home maybe a chair or part of my bed, while my wife is peacefully sleeping. I'd love to hear a thunderstorm outside, providing the only sound in the background, making the atmosphere calm and peaceful no music (not even classical music) just the rumble of the storm. I would make the room nice and cold, just how I like it. Near me, I would have some easy snacks (Sushi or Oreo) and a cool glass of Lipton iced tea. The book I would be eagerly diving into would be a suspenseful Stephen King novel a real page turner that would keep me engrossed (Or Brandon Sanderson, Tom Clancy). I would make sure I have a lot of free time with no tasks to do, so I can really get lost in the world of my book. I'd be wearing my most comfy clothes like pajamas. To keep my focus on the book, I would put away all distractions like my iPad, smartphone, TV, PS5, and even cable TV channels like HBO or National Geographic . With the cold room and the mesmerizing sound of the thunderstorm outside, I'd be all set for a perfect weekend of reading.
Explain your perfect conditions for a lazy weekend of reading.

I have solar and a couple of days ago I had a powerwall installed. I have a Tariff called Octopus Flux in the UK which gives me the following rates:

 Import Export Day rate 32.40p / kWh 21.40p / kWh Flux rate (02:00 - 05:00) 19.44p / kWh 8.44p / kWh Peak rate (16:00 - 19:00) 45.36p / kWh 34.36p / kWh 

I set my powerwall to Time-Based control. I added a schedule with the above times and import/export prices. Grid charging is enabled.
I am getting more than enough solar at this time of year to cover my usage for the whole day
Here is what it has done so far:

1. Between 2am and 5am when it is cheap to buy, fills to 100%
2. For the rest of the day, excluding peak time, it just uses the solar and grid to power the house, leaving the battery at 100%
3. For a few brief minutes during the peak period when my solar can't cover the usage, the battery will kick in to cover the rest, rather than leaving it to the grid.

Now, that's not nearly as smart as I expected the Time-Based control to be. I expected it to supplement my solar with battery power rather than grid power if there is more than enough in the battery and solar supply to cover me past my peak period. But instead, during the majority of the day, it supplemented the solar with 32p/kWh grid electricity instead of the stuff I filled my battery with for 19p.
I was wondering if it would get to the peak period, see I have a 100% full battery, and then dump some of it onto the grid for 34p/kWh, but it didn't do that either.
Is this just the way this mode behaves, or will it adjust when I've been running in this mode for longer? Will it ever do anything like what I want in this mode?
I've seen in a couple of instances that people are running in self-powered mode during the summer and switching to time-based during the Winter when there is less Sun. That seems less than ideal though. I'd need to check when it's not sunny for a few days in the Summer to make sure that self-powered mode will get me past the peak period. I'd also need to decide when is a good time to switch modes.
Ideally I think I'd run in self powered mode with two additions:

1. Fill up the battery between 2am and 5am to a level depending on how much solar I'm predicted to get that day
2. Dump excess battery onto the grid during the peak period to a level which will allow me to survive off battery until 2am when the off-peak period kicks in.

Hi all, I made a throwaway so my bf or family won’t find this post. I’m struggling and have not opened up but to one person (who doesn’t know my bf personally) and I need external advice.
So to start, my (23F) boyfriend (23M) have officially been together since the later months of 2020 although we started talking and hooking up in the early months of 2020 (right before covid) At first (like literally from when we started seeing each other until about Feb 2021) it was perfect, no suspicions, it was all flowers and confetti for us (or so I thought) in Feb 2021 I found out he had been asking girls he had history with for nudes, had an onlyfans he was buying content on (he created this account WHILE together) and sending his noodle pics to sex workers on Twitter and OnlyFans. I went BALLISTIC and ransacked his phone (with his permission, although I know it still doesn’t make it right) Well, after finding everything (it took me from Feb 2021-October 2021 to access and cope with what I was finding) we decided to put it behind us with some new boundaries and continue to strengthen our relationship. The details of his cheating are too specific for him not to recognize this post. ANYWAY, we met at my first job (his 2nd or 3rd) and had a few friends in common. This is only important because I had a close male friend introduce us and when he was the only one who knew about us from the start. My bf (we’ll call him P) was close friends with G (close male friend) and had told me if I ever needed to vent about our relationship I was only allowed to tell G. So of course I told him everything. Some things happened with the job to where P and I quit and started a new job together. One night, G confesses feelings for me while drunk (he said he had always felt that way for our 2-3 year friendship) and I told him if he could forget it I would because I didn’t wanna mess up my relationship or my friendship. Well P went through my phone and found G’s messages and that’s when he started making me cut off everyone from my old job (G worked with us too) and anyone he didn’t like. Well, after blocking G and everyone, I was down to 2 friends from middle school. Besides that I thought I was happy, but now as we’re nearing our official 3 years (we hit our unofficial 3 years earlier this year) im starting to question all of his actions. He berates me for sleeping “so much” (and im actually on meds for depression, anxiety and a mental/hereditary disorder and theyre night time medications because they make me sleepy, hence the over sleeping) he also has tried to control what piercings and tattoos I want to get. Another big one is we wrestle a lot, I’ve always been a person to play wrestle, having grown up with boys only and having mainly male friends growing up. Well more constantly than I’m comfortable with he will “accidentally” use too much force in these “play fights”, for example, he once went in for a “playful” punch as I was moving my leg and he ended up nailing my shin so hard I started crying. He did console me and apologize profusely. He “playfully” slaps my face when I told him I don’t like it, I’ve just accepted him how he is. Not only do I have to hear it from him but while I was living with him (we lived together with his family for about 2.5 years) his grandma would always give me her 2 cents and then to top that off, apparently his parents were displeased with my behavior and told him and he told me. Now, where I’m asking for advice is, do I let this go or do I keep trying in this relationship? As of the past month, I’ve been living back at my mom’s and it gave me a clearer view on how his family and himself have treated me. My parents and brothers have all (each conversation with each parent and brother was separate but they all expressed the same concerns) spoken to me individually and voiced concerns that based on what they’ve seen and what I’ve told them, I deserve better or he needs to treat me better. After bringing this up to my best friend of 12 years told me she agrees with my family. I thought this was the man I was going to marry and build a life with, but now im not so sure… can anyone enlighten me with an unbiased opinion?
Also, our intimate life is more than excellent, our current emotions with each other have been nothing but pleasant, but with the past we’ve had, even though his cheating was in 2021 I still think about it sometimes. Do I save this or leave it where it lays?

boyfriend yesterday went out with his ex female flatmate. I never met her before. They met for something easy like beer and a diner. He met her in town around 8-9 pm. Around 11 pm he texted that he will go home soon because he is super tired. I told him ok text me when you are home savely. I havent heard anything from him afterwards and today he told me he got home around 2-3 pm in the night. I wonder why he told me that he will go home soon if he stayed so long with her. He also did not invite me to join with her which I found to be weird too. I know they havent seen each other for a long time so I did not want to ask to come with, but he also did not ask me to joing
. I feel very weird that they went out for so long although he told me before he left its going to be something super easy and he wont stay for too long, now he ended up talking to her nearly until 2-3 pm. I know he went home afterwards without her to his apartment because his roomate told me. So I know he wasnt cheating but I feel very uncomfortable that he goes out with other women alone, text me that he will go home soon because he is tired and then stays with her so late in town outside. How would you feel about it? I never met her so I dont even know the dynamic between them and I felt furious yesterday evening full of panick he might cheat on me. To him it is no issue at all he has other women as friends and goes out with them. I dont know, I told him that I would have been happy if he would have asked me to join and maybe introduce me to his female friends in the future but maybe that is too much to expect? He is 31 btw. It is a trigger point to me for some reason and I feel insecure about it.

Hello everyone,
I'm an experienced female writer with over fifteen years' writing experience, looking to write with males or females 25 or older (with a preference for 30+.) I am happy writing females or males in FxF or FxM pairings.
!!! I am British and only looking to roleplay with other Brits, with no exceptions. Please be literate and able to contribute something to the discussion if you contact me. Please note that I am looking for something fairly regular and long-term. !!!
I play via Discord, and in real time. By that I mean, the two of us sitting down at the same time to exchange moderately short (semi-para to paragraph length) posts, rather than longer posts at any time throughout the day.
My interests range from the vanilla to the embarrassingly dark, and can be discussed in private. Settings I would be interested in exploring include: - Political set-ups: intrigue, plotting and manipulation! - Sci-Fi: near future dystopias and totalitarian states! - Post-apoc: fairly self-explanatory! - Alternate history: I've a few ideas for how this could go!
I am not interested in fantasy settings, or superheroes and prefer to fade-to-black.
Please feel free to get in touch via PM or chat (not via comments) and I can provide my Discord handle.

Completely new to magic but decently familiar with other card games, I've been trying to play in a style I enjoy but it simply doesn't feel viable. I've been playing Standard Brawl with a Red/Blue with Balmor as commander, and a Mono Red Urabrask. I've been trying to focus on a Instant/Sorcery deck that can kill from spell damage and do a lot of chip damage but the lack of board control and having no solution for enemy removal consistently lost me games. I don't think I am getting unlucky draws necessarily, and the Red/Blue Hybrid can protect my commander and units decently with the blue spells, but past that point I feel like I have nowhere near enough tempo to win out games before the enemy can board-clear and scale far beyond a recoverable position for me. The spell damage that can actually target face feels like it's nowhere near enough to be able to actually win through it.
I suppose I am looking for deck building advice that can pull off the spell damage playstyle well? I can draft a deck with a central focus but am really bad at finding alternate win cons and determining my win con mid game. It's why I normally default to aggro/face decks in most games. Are there any decks/commanders that fit a very aggro/early playstyle I should check out? I've spent some time scrolling through commanders but there are so many options it's a bit overwhelming, and there's a chance I pick a commander that just blows, which really sucks when I have limited resources to build decks being new and all. I am playing on MTGA on steam, so it's not like I am wasting real money, but still lmao.
I've posted images of the two decks I am currently running if anyone cares to give suggestions