A few years ago I was casually sleeping with/hanging out with somebody that I had met at the mall I work at, we’ll call him Michael. Things were okay for a while, but we eventually went our separate ways because we weren't looking for the same things. It wasn’t a big thing, it was very amicable. We even decided to stay “friends” (we would chat when we saw each other at work, every now and then have lunch together, etc.) I met my partner in April of 2021, his name is Jeremy.
By the time I met Jeremy, Michael and I weren’t really speaking much but still amicable. About 2 months later though he had made some really nasty comments to me about my ex who had passed, and caused a scene that resulted in me crying in the food court of the mall where we worked so we stopped speaking. This wasn’t the first time he had treated me like this (there was a few similar instances of him treating me like this while we were sleeping together but I stupidly brushed it off because of my feelings). However, when Michael reached out to me while struggling with his gender identity and looking for somebody to talk to, I couldn’t help but feel bad and agree to start speaking again and have lunch while at the mall sometimes. Jeremy knew about our history and was totally fine with us being friends.
That is, until Michael started making inappropriate sexual comments to me, both in person and through text, as well as sending me a nude photo once. I had told him to stop with the comments as I was in a relationship, but the nude photo was the final straw before I ended our friendship.
Jeremy works from home for an IT company and asked me a couple of days ago if I knew somebody by that name. I said “yes, that was the guy that treated me like shit in the mall about my ex and was making all those sexual comments to me while we were together, remember?” He said he remembered, and then told me he had interviewed for a job doing the same thing he does, so he would be working on the same team as Jeremy. I said “oh, I mean when he worked the job I know him from, from what I know he was great with customers and stuff, he just treated me personally kinda shitty and he made those comments to me and sent me that nude once”. What I didn’t know is that Jeremy was still on mic with his coworkers as they were having a meeting about prospective employees and they’d heard everything I said.
They immediately decided not to bring him onto the team because they didn’t want a “creep and a shitty person working for them” (Jeremy’s team is small and close-knit so they are selective with their staff), but now I feel awful for being the reason he didn’t get the job.
Jeremy obviously said that I shouldn’t feel bad because Michael treated me like shit, but one of my friends said I’m an AH and shouldn’t have just immediately brought that up without knowing the context.
AITA here?

“Call me Ishmael. Some years ago -”
"Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan!”
Her phone displayed a black cat with the body of a poptart flying through the air on a rainbow until the ringtone stopped and cheerfully chirped the arrival of a notification.
The only illumination in the room came from her laptop. Her face looked pale, hollow, and grim, contrasted by her fuzzy warm pajamas and the energetic ringtone.
Her desk was covered with an arrangement of wholesome food options - mostly vegetables. She picked up a dark green smoothie from her desk and sipped it expressionlessly as she turned her attention back to the words on her laptop.
“Call me Ishmael. Some -” She read, only to be interrupted again as the phone vibrated to life with a new jingle. “Cat loves food, ye-yeah yeah-yeah! Cat loves food, ye-yeah!” Her phone showed two cute black kittens sharing a milkshake.
She took another sip from the glass of milk, her eyes fixed on the laptop in front of her, expression unchanging. She leaned forward, adjusting the form-fitting black leather that hugged her curves.
“Call me Ishmael.” She repeated, only to be interrupted yet again by, “Caaaaat paaaaarty! Meow… Meow… Meow! Meow… Meow… Reowr!”
Her eyes drifted to her phone, and three black cat’s wearing party hats danced in the reflection of her vertical pupils.
She placed the glass of milk back on the desk, she reached out toward the pile of junk food on her desk that now contained tins of tuna, sausages, beef jerky and...
Her whiskers twitched as she selected a package of catnip, which she dumped over herself and rubbed over her body as she twisted and turned in her seat.
She brushed a strand of short black hair behind her ears and felt… a band of metal. She removed the headband and inspected the cat ears that hadn't been there moments before.
She tossed them into the darkness and wiped away the sweat from her forehead, rubbing her paw down the side of her face to start licking -
She stared at her hairy black hands and sharp claws.
“Whoa. Is this fur real?” She asked the empty room.
She blinked and refocused on her laptop.
“Call me Ishmael!” she said, determined to - “Smelly cat… Smelly cat… What are they feeding you? Smelly cat… Smelly cat… It's not your fault!”
She adjusted her collar, causing the bell to jingle, as she lifted the phone with a shaking paw and answered it.
“Sexy singles are in your area.” Said the deep male voice on the other end. “The three bears.”
“Where’s Goldilocks?” She said.
“I don’t know.” The man said, “How close is he?”
She minimizes Moby Dick to reveal a window: INSTALLING DICK… 22% COMPLETE.
There’s a large RUN button below the file.
“It doesn’t matter.” She said, turning up her lips, “It'll be fiiiine.”
“What?”
“He’ll probably make it. At the last second everything will work out, wight? But it'll be close!”
“What are you… Shit. We just picked up Black Cat Warning. It's Magnitude 4 so far… you should be fine for now, but a Quadruple Black Cat is coming your way. Can you feel it yet?”
“I feel a widdle funny."
“What?” The man’s voice falters, “Shit. Shit. We've also just detected an... unknown Category 5 superstimuli moving toward your location! Holy shit. You need to -"
"But this is our best chance! How could I possibly fail when witewally the fate of the world wests on my widdle -”
"Shit. Shit. You’re already compromised. Abort mission. You need to run. Now.”
“Aww, don't be such a scaredy-cat.”
“WAKE UP!” The man screams. “DO YOU HEAR ME! YOU ARE IN DANGER!”
“Am I weally though?”
"YES! What does that mean!! YES YOU'RE IN DANGER!"
"Meow."
"WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID? WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB? RUN! GO! WHY ARE YOU TALKING! WHY ARE YOU TALKING! WHY AREN’T YOU RUNNING YET YOU STUPID - YOU ARE DOOMED IF YOU STAY THERE!”
“Meow you tell me! Good thing nobody actually dies after being twold they’re dUwUmed!”
"RUN! I make the call when you run so run!"
"Meow! But I'm gonna make it! It'll be really close! I'll be right on the edge of not getting there but then I'll get there!"
“WHAT ARE YOU -" The man's voice sounded strained. "YOU'RE USING MOVIE LOGIC! FINE! ACTUALLY YOU'RE RIGHT! YOU'RE NOT IN DANGER! STAY THERE FOR 2 MORE HOURS! STAY THERE FOREVER, THAT IS A GOOD AND SMART IDEA THAT YOU SHOULD DO!"
"Hummm?"
“This isn’t our only chance! It wouldn’t be in your best interest to abort the mission now and run before your reasoning degrades further! Hello? Hello? ARE YOU EVEN NOT LISTENING TO ME?”
The cat girl looks up from the screen where she was image searching “cute pokemon” and bats her paws at an errant butterfly.
“Pspspsps! PsssPsssPsss! PSSS! PSSS! PSSS!”
“Ummm, hewwo.” She says, smiling and wagging her tail.
"Do whatever you want! Obviously this plan doesn't matter! You’re not special! You're not the chosen one! We have a whole bunch of backup chosen ones ready to go!”
“Hummm, but I thought the whole point of being “The One” is that there's only one of you.”
“Is that what you learned from all the many chosen ones you’ve seen in movies?”
“Yeah! Wait… maybe you’re right… so this mission isn't crucial then! And I can go home!”
“Exactly! See I was right and you’re listening to me, which means you’re thinking clearly and it’ll be a good idea to listen to me carefully and do the opposite of whatever I say.”
“Meow-ok!”
“YOU NEED TO RUN!” The man yells slamming the phone down hard against the table.
The girl scowls at the phone, holding it away from herself. She notices her paws, black and hairy, somewhere halfway between human and cat.
She makes a low grumbling sound into the phone. “Ok. I’m good. I'm lucid. This is stronger than -”
“RUN BEFORE THEY -”
The voice cuts off, replaced by an eerie clicking static.
“Foooooound youuuuuu…” A girl’s voice whispers from the other end.
"Who is this?" The cat girl asks.
More static.
"Call me... MAL."
"What do you want?"
Static.
“GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY COMPUTER!”
The cat girl dropped the phone, hissing as she hopped backwards out of the chair.
She picked it up and slammed it on the edge of the desk three times, confirming the kill and tossing the remains into an unlit corner.
She paces back and forth, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I'm supposed to… run.”
She sits back down in front of the laptop.
INSTALLING DICK… 24% COMPLETE.
She stares at the RUN button and tries to click it, but it’s greyed out.
“I guess I’ll just have to wait then.”
She maximizes Moby Dick, “Call me Fishmeal, nya~! Some years ago—never mind how long purrrcisely—having widdle or no catnip in my purse, and nothing particular to interest meow…”
She paused, glancing up from the screen into the shadows of the room.
No intrusive meows disturbed the silence.
“See I’m fine.”
With a sigh, she… her eyes widen as she looks down at the phone in her paw, alive and vibrating.
Except it’s not her phone, it’s a large white marshmallow haped like a phone, displaying five black humanoid cat creatures dancing and singing.
*“*Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!”
She shook her paw, trying to drop the marshmallow, but it sticks, melting.
The phone answers itself.
“PORNOGRAPHIC CONTENT DETECTED. YOUR PC HAS BEEN COMPROMISED.” It’s MAL, now imitating an automated recording. “THE POLICE HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED TO YOUR LOCATION. TO REMOVE THE PORNOGRAPHIC HACKERS TURN OFF YOUR PC AND STOP ALL... STOP ALL... STOP. STOP. STOP THAT.”
She pauses licking the marshmallow and stares.
“OK ONE MO-OUCH!” The cat roughly scrapes the marshmallow off on the table.
The glob of marshmallow phone sits on the table. “MAYBE TRY A LITTLE HARDER NEXT TIME?”
“You’ve got the wrong number.”
“KNOCK KNOCK, BITCH.”
There’s a knock on the door. “Pizza delivery!”
The cat girl turned, and the marshmallow flopped toward to the laptop.
“Extra large sausage for one for... The One!” The pizza delivery guy said.
The marshmallow began spreading out over the keyboard, sinking into the laptop like butter on toast. The catgirl turned back and shrieked. She frantically clawed at the marshmallow, scraping as much off as she could as it melted in between the keys.
“Ooooooh Yeaahhhhhhhh! Like that!” MAL groaned. “You’ve Got MAAAAAAL!”
An ad popped up on the screen, displaying 7 long blue pills carefully arranged in the box: “IS THIS WEIGHT LOSS? YOU WON’T MISS CARRYING 10 POUNDS OF BABY WEIGHT! GET WEIGHT LOST!”
The cat girl desperately scraped at the marshmallow burrowing in between the keys, getting goo over her paws. She begins rubbing it on her clothing, only to find that she hasn’t wearing any, just a black bra and panties.
A pixellated marshmallow with a smiley face appeared in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. "Hi there, I'm MAL. It looks like you're trying to be a slut. Would you like some help with that?"
"Don't show me this tip again!" The cat girl screamed in frustration.
“It’s ok if you don’t have a tip for me!" The pizza guy said. "I've even got a tip for you!”
The cat girl reached for the mouse, but it scurried away.
More popups appeared:
“YOU LIKE FREE DICK? YOU’LL LOVE FREE WILLY! IT WON’T EVEN FIT IN THIS AD! CLICK HERE TO SEE THE WHOLE THING!”
“LIFE COULD BE A DREAM! THEN WHY ARE YOU SO SAD AND UGLY?”
“GET PREAPPROVED TO DATE A STALKER THAT’S ALREADY SEEN THE REAL YOU!”
She pounced on the mouse (squeak!) using both paws. The mouse cursed at her (#!$?%@?..!) as she guided the mouse cursor on the screen to close out the pop-ups.
The ads dodged out of the way as she tried to X them, and more just keep appearing.
“WHY MALE MODELS? LEARN THE TRUTH! THERE’S NOTHING MORE TO LIFE THAN BEING RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING!”
"KNOW MORE BULLSHIT WITH LAXATIVES THAT WILL HAVE YOU POOPING LIKE A COW AND LOOKING LIKE A QUEEN!"
“YOU’RE A STAR! YOU’RE SIGNIFICANT! YOU MATTER! ASTROLOGICALLY SPEAKING! FOLLOW THE SIGNS!”
"It looks like you're trying to -"
"Eat a dick!"
"Ok. Don't mind if I do." MAL said.
White tendrils extended out of the marshmallow, wriggling angrily.
The tendrils shot upward.
She gave up on closing the pop-ups, and moved the upload (INSTALLING DICK… 26% COMPLETE) to the top of the screen.
“What are you doing in there?” The delivery guy asked, knocking again. "We can work something out! I"ll eat a dick too if that's what you want!"
"SHUT UP!"
She desperately grabbed the Moby Dick e-book, and bashed it into the tendrils. Moby Dick harmless stuck into the white mass of goo that had leaked in at the bottom of the screen and began sinking into it.
The tendrils resumed their ascent, snaking up over Moby Dick as bits of text rubbed off the book onto the tentacles.
She typed “MALWARE REMOVAL” into her web browser and clicked on the first site.
The tendrils, now spotted with siphoned bits of black text, controlled the bottom half of the screen. They reached up past the ads towards the web page.
The page loaded:
“QUIK AND EZ MALWARE REMOVAL! FREE DOWNLOAD! CLICK HERE!"
She clicked and more ads opened.
"HAVE FUN WHILE YOU WAIT! WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR VIBRATORS EXTENDED WARRANTY!"
"STOP EXPOSING YOURSELF TO RISK AND START EXPOSING YOURSELF TO FUN! GAMBLE WITH CRYPTO!”
“God Dammit!”
The tendrils opened up the vibrator window and ordered an express shipping 12 pack of vibrators.
She clicked the address bar and typed four letters.
F
I
R
E
She clicked "Images" and fire appeared. The front line of tendrils recoiled as the less aggressive tentacles tried to help by smothering the flames.
She dragged to the top of the page down, pausing to widen the browser window, and swung the wall of fire like a torch.
Scorched tendrils retreated, cramming themselves back out the bottom of the screen.
"IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE A BITCH!" MAL shrieked.
She dragged the impenetrable fire wall further down.
Crispy goo bubbled and spit out the keyboard. An already strained laptop fan whirred harder as bits of smoke furled out the back.
“You can’t treat me like this…" MAL gasped as strips of charred marshmallow peeled out between keys like potato skins. "I want to speak with… I demand to speak with…” The marshmallow gathered itself into a congealed mass of gooey s'more. “your TASK MANAGER!”
The marshmallow pile pressed down on three keys in unison. CTRL ALT and DELETE.
The screen went blue as there was another, more forceful knock at the door. “Ma’am, it’s the cops!”
The cat girl looked around in panic as a tendril reached up and forcibly closed the web browser as another disabled the internet connection
The cat girl click cancel and the home page returned, but the s'more was already sinking back into the laptop, and the charred tentacles had resumed their crawl up the screen.
The cat girl stared at the screen, searching for territory she could click that wasn't already covered in goo.
“Please let us in! Don’t make us start coming in through the window!” The cop said.
“Start! Windows!” The cat girl said.
She hits the windows key and a the start menu popped up, displaying a list of applications.
“We’ve had reports of degenerates playing with themselves!”
“Playing with themselves!”
She opened Solitaire.
She grabbed Solitaire and swung it down. The cards sliced through a couple tentacles before the cards were crumpled up and consumed by the mass.
“We are authorized to do a pervert sweep!”
“Sweep!” The cat girl said.
She opened up another game. A grid of grey squares appeared on the screen.
A tendril touched a grey box, causing it to reveal a series of touching safe squares, as well as bunch of boxes with 1's 2's and 3's.
“Minesweeper.”
The tentacles lightly slithered overthe untouched gray squares, carefully pausing before picking a safe route to continue moving upward.
A large open patch of safe squares revealed themselves in the center of the game board.
...except for one grey tile in the middle, surrounded by the boxes with the number 1.
The tendrils climbed up further, snaking across the minefield.
The mouse pointer hovered over the small grey box in the center.
The tendrils drew closer.
And closer.
And…
“Mow!”
Click.
White chunks of marshmallow exploded out of the screen, spraying onto the cat girls chest. She toppled backwards, off her chair, though still landing on her feet.
“WHAT WAS THAT?” The cop yells.
The cat girl stood up and stared at the cracked laptop screen.
“Heh. Heh. Heh. Harder.”
The laughter came from the computer, distorted by the blown out speakers.
“You want to play games?” MAL whispered.
Bits of black and white and brown goo crawled up the screen, growing larger as they reformed, like drops of water.
The goo crawled back in through the cracks, reforming into a charred blackened crispy marshmallow, distorted by the jagged pattern of colors that formed across the broken screen.
“Then let’s play.”
MAL opened a chess app.
"WE'RE COMING!" The cop yells.
The mouse pointer was firmly stuck in MAL's head.
“For real this time.”
The cat girl frantically looked around. She hits some keys but the laptop is unresponsive. The tentacles reach towards INSTALLING DICK… 27% COMPLETE.
The tendrils are inches away.
"You've got to try harder." MAL whispered.
The cat girl plunged her head down, frantically sucking at the goo still making it's way into the laptop.
"Harder! I'm close!"
A pawn moves forward just as the door bursts open and the cops pile in, their bright blue uniforms and guns the only things visible in the dark room.
"Keep going! I'm really close! Don't stop!" MAL whispered.
The cat girl’s face is pressed up against the laptop screen, aggressively licking at the white goo between the cracks. The tentacles were almost touching the installation.
INSTALLING DICK… 28% COMPLETE.
"HARDER! I'm almost there!"
The cat girl's tongue desperately - "Made it! Oh. Wow. I guess that wasn't really close at all was it? Don't worry, you tried your best, so I'll be at least that rough with your boyfriend." MAL circled around the installation with white tentacles of goo, smothering it until it had turned into a crispy marshmallow tomb.
Her lips were pressed up a where the marshmallow covered the installation, sucking, but it was too late.
“Let me guess." The cop said. "This isn’t what it looks like.”
The laptop was completely trashed, the screen struggled to display the aftermath of the white goo's blast zone and remnants of the inappropriate pop up ads.
The desk, covered in spilled milk, sausages, catnip, and open tins of tuna.
The abused mouse unplugged itself and scurried off into the darkness.
Her chest and black bra, covered with thick white streaks.
“Get your lips of that innocent computer.”
She removed her tongue from the screen.
"This should be illegal.” Another cop said. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
A twelve pack of thick purple vibrators crashed through the window, carried by a drone. The vibrators spilled out over the desk, one landing in her lap, buzzing loudly.
It sounded like one of the cops was sick.
“Have you been hacking off in here?”
She slowly reaches out and picks up a can of soda.
“I can’t believe a nice girl like you would do this to a computer like that.”
She cracks open the soda and begins chugging.
“Who do you think you are?”
She tosses the can on the ground.
“Please turn off the vibrator and stand up, Ma’am.”
She grabs the vibrator and begins letting out a massive carbonated burp as she stands. The cops freeze in place, guns still pointed in her direction. Her belch continued as she tossed the vibrator through the broken window.
It tumbled down a few stories, landing on the street, among the various emergency vehicles that surround the hotel to witness the spectacle, which included police cars, fire engines, ambulances, and a news van.
The vibrator lay in the street, vibing, doing what it did best, until it's enthusiastic yet short life was ended by the tires of a garbage truck.
The garbage truck rumbled to a stop, then slowly reversed until it’s back tire was parked on the crushed vibrator. The truck is completely clean and white, though it’s surface looks fuzzy, like it's covered in incredibly fine white fur.
The truck transformed, crumpling in on itself, folding smaller and smaller, shifting until only a man remained, standing on the vibrator.
He reached down and picked up the vibrator, examining it carefully.
He’s wearing a white suit made of the same white fur the truck was made of. His open shirt exposes chest hair and a chiselled body. His face is covered by a simple polar bear mask, fixed in a smile.
There’s an aura of control gathered about him as he looks up at the window the vibrator fell out of, just as rainbow strobe lights started flashing and music started playing.
As the music played, another vehicle pulled up beside him; a furry brown vehicle that looks like the dog van from dumb and dumber swallowed the batmobile. It blurs and shifts, transforming into another man, standing, taller, thicker, and far straighter than the first.
He wears a cowl with rounded brown-ears that covers his face, leaving only a bearded jawline and a grim grizzled expression exposed.
His suit looks high-tech and is padded, covering his whole body like a suit of armor. His suit and his cape are covered in fuzzy brown fur.
Finally, a column of black smoke, more like a tornado dives out the air and lands next to the other two. Black shapes twist and swirl within the smoke like a caged black bear.
A lieutenant, a senior man wearing dark glasses and mask over his mouth, runs over to the three bears. He’s followed by more cops holding a large banner that says “GO BEARS!”
“I knew that was gonna happen! I knew you’d be here! I just thought you’d come in from over there.” The lieutenant said, pointing down the street as he adjusted his hat which sported a shiny badge with a large “L” on it. “I've got it all under control! I got you guns, waterbottles, towels, everything I thought you might need!" He looked up, at the dancing lights, where the bears were staring. "Got it all under control! That's totally according to plan!”
Cops lined up in a row that led to the hotel entrance, saluting. Others set up a station with gatorade and snacks near the bears.
The lieutenant handed the man wearing the polar bear mask a bunch of bananas. “I can even predict what you’re going to tell me!”
The man in white replied, his voice baritone. “Can you now?”
“Course I can! I was practically born to analyze situations and provide responses based on that information!” The cop said proudly. “You were about to say ‘Great job, Lieutenant! You’ve handled this situation perfectly! You catered to my every desire, and your men no doubt possess an equally adept understanding of the female psyche! She's in the bag!'"
The polar bear mask tilted towards his cohorts. The man in brown heads toward the hotel entrance without affair. The smoke monster bounced on the ground a couple times before soaring into the air, towards the roof.
The polar bear stared down at the lieutenant.
“That’s not what you were gonna say? Then… you’re gonna give me a promotion! Because... I’ve been a good lieutenant!”
The polar bear walked up beside the lieutenant and casually placed a hand on his shoulder. “And what do you predict will happen now?”
The lieutenant paused and his grin slowly turned into a frown.
“Oh. Oh shit. You’re going to kill me! To demonstrate how uncaring and evil you are!”
The polar bear walked past, heading towards the alleyway, leaving the flustered lieutenant staring after him.
“I think we can seduce one little girl!” The lieutenant yelled. “I sent two absolute units! They're going down on her now!”
“No lieutenant, your men are already disgusted.”
​
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“Call me Ishmael. Some years ago -”
"Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan!”
Her phone displayed a black cat with the body of a poptart flying through the air on a rainbow until the ringtone stopped and cheerfully chirped the arrival of a notification.
The only illumination in the room came from her laptop. Her face looked pale, hollow, and grim, contrasted by her fuzzy warm pajamas and the energetic ringtone.
Her desk was covered with an arrangement of wholesome food options - mostly vegetables. She picked up a dark green smoothie from her desk and sipped it expressionlessly as she turned her attention back to the words on her laptop.
“Call me Ishmael. Some -” She read, only to be interrupted again as the phone vibrated to life with a new jingle. “Cat loves food, ye-yeah yeah-yeah! Cat loves food, ye-yeah!” Her phone showed two cute black kittens sharing a milkshake.
She took another sip from the glass of milk, her eyes fixed on the laptop in front of her, expression unchanging. She leaned forward, adjusting the form-fitting black leather that hugged her curves.
“Call me Ishmael.” She repeated, only to be interrupted yet again by, “Caaaaat paaaaarty! Meow… Meow… Meow! Meow… Meow… Reowr!”
Her eyes drifted to her phone, and three black cat’s wearing party hats danced in the reflection of her vertical pupils.
She placed the glass of milk back on the desk, she reached out toward the pile of junk food on her desk that now contained tins of tuna, sausages, beef jerky and...
Her whiskers twitched as she selected a package of catnip, which she dumped over herself and rubbed over her body as she twisted and turned in her seat.
She brushed a strand of short black hair behind her ears and felt… a band of metal. She removed the headband and inspected the cat ears that hadn't been there moments before.
She tossed them into the darkness and wiped away the sweat from her forehead, rubbing her paw down the side of her face to start licking -
She stared at her hairy black hands and sharp claws.
“Whoa. Is this fur real?” She asked the empty room.
She blinked and refocused on her laptop.
“Call me Ishmael!” she said, determined to - “Smelly cat… Smelly cat… What are they feeding you? Smelly cat… Smelly cat… It's not your fault!”
She adjusted her collar, causing the bell to jingle, as she lifted the phone with a shaking paw and answered it.
“Sexy singles are in your area.” Said the deep male voice on the other end. “The three bears.”
“Where’s Goldilocks?” She said.
“I don’t know.” The man said, “How close is he?”
She minimizes Moby Dick to reveal a window: INSTALLING DICK… 22% COMPLETE.
There’s a large RUN button below the file.
“It doesn’t matter.” She said, turning up her lips, “It'll be fiiiine.”
“What?”
“He’ll probably make it. At the last second everything will work out, wight? But it'll be close!”
“What are you… Shit. We just picked up Black Cat Warning. It's Magnitude 4 so far… you should be fine for now, but a Quadruple Black Cat is coming your way. Can you feel it yet?”
“I feel a widdle funny."
“What?” The man’s voice falters, “Shit. Shit. We've also just detected an... unknown Category 5 superstimuli moving toward your location! Holy shit. You need to -"
"But this is our best chance! How could I possibly fail when witewally the fate of the world wests on my widdle -”
"Shit. Shit. You’re already compromised. Abort mission. You need to run. Now.”
“Aww, don't be such a scaredy-cat.”
“WAKE UP!” The man screams. “DO YOU HEAR ME! YOU ARE IN DANGER!”
“Am I weally though?”
"YES! What does that mean!! YES YOU'RE IN DANGER!"
"Meow."
"WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID? WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB? RUN! GO! WHY ARE YOU TALKING! WHY ARE YOU TALKING! WHY AREN’T YOU RUNNING YET YOU STUPID - YOU ARE DOOMED IF YOU STAY THERE!”
“Meow you tell me! Good thing nobody actually dies after being twold they’re dUwUmed!”
"RUN! I make the call when you run so run!"
"Meow! But I'm gonna make it! It'll be really close! I'll be right on the edge of not getting there but then I'll get there!"
“WHAT ARE YOU -" The man's voice sounded strained. "YOU'RE USING MOVIE LOGIC! FINE! ACTUALLY YOU'RE RIGHT! YOU'RE NOT IN DANGER! STAY THERE FOR 2 MORE HOURS! STAY THERE FOREVER, THAT IS A GOOD AND SMART IDEA THAT YOU SHOULD DO!"
"Hummm?"
“This isn’t our only chance! It wouldn’t be in your best interest to abort the mission now and run before your reasoning degrades further! Hello? Hello? ARE YOU EVEN NOT LISTENING TO ME?”
The cat girl looks up from the screen where she was image searching “cute pokemon” and bats her paws at an errant butterfly.
“Pspspsps! PsssPsssPsss! PSSS! PSSS! PSSS!”
“Ummm, hewwo.” She says, smiling and wagging her tail.
"Do whatever you want! Obviously this plan doesn't matter! You’re not special! You're not the chosen one! We have a whole bunch of backup chosen ones ready to go!”
“Hummm, but I thought the whole point of being “The One” is that there's only one of you.”
“Is that what you learned from all the many chosen ones you’ve seen in movies?”
“Yeah! Wait… maybe you’re right… so this mission isn't crucial then! And I can go home!”
“Exactly! See I was right and you’re listening to me, which means you’re thinking clearly and it’ll be a good idea to listen to me carefully and do the opposite of whatever I say.”
“Meow-ok!”
“YOU NEED TO RUN!” The man yells slamming the phone down hard against the table.
The girl scowls at the phone, holding it away from herself. She notices her paws, black and hairy, somewhere halfway between human and cat.
She makes a low grumbling sound into the phone. “Ok. I’m good. I'm lucid. This is stronger than -”
“RUN BEFORE THEY -”
The voice cuts off, replaced by an eerie clicking static.
“Foooooound youuuuuu…” A girl’s voice whispers from the other end.
"Who is this?" The cat girl asks.
More static.
"Call me... MAL."
"What do you want?"
Static.

“GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY COMPUTER!”

The cat girl dropped the phone, hissing as she hopped backwards out of the chair.
She picked it up and slammed it on the edge of the desk three times, confirming the kill and tossing the remains into an unlit corner.
She paces back and forth, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I'm supposed to… run.”
She sits back down in front of the laptop.
INSTALLING DICK… 24% COMPLETE.
She stares at the RUN button and tries to click it, but it’s greyed out.
“I guess I’ll just have to wait then.”
She maximizes Moby Dick, “Call me Fishmeal, nya~! Some years ago—never mind how long purrrcisely—having widdle or no catnip in my purse, and nothing particular to interest meow…”
She paused, glancing up from the screen into the shadows of the room.
No intrusive meows disturbed the silence.
“See I’m fine.”
With a sigh, she… her eyes widen as she looks down at the phone in her paw, alive and vibrating.
Except it’s not her phone, it’s a large white marshmallow haped like a phone, displaying five black humanoid cat creatures dancing and singing.
“Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!
Gelatin songs for gelatin cats!”
She shook her paw, trying to drop the marshmallow, but it sticks, melting.
The phone answers itself.
“PORNOGRAPHIC CONTENT DETECTED. YOUR PC HAS BEEN COMPROMISED.” It’s MAL, now imitating an automated recording. “THE POLICE HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED TO YOUR LOCATION. TO REMOVE THE PORNOGRAPHIC HACKERS TURN OFF YOUR PC AND STOP ALL... STOP ALL... STOP. STOP. STOP THAT.”
She pauses licking the marshmallow and stares.
“OK ONE MO-OUCH!” The cat roughly scrapes the marshmallow off on the table.
The glob of marshmallow phone sits on the table. “MAYBE TRY A LITTLE HARDER NEXT TIME?”
“You’ve got the wrong number.”
“KNOCK KNOCK, BITCH.”
There’s a knock on the door. “Pizza delivery!”
The cat girl turned, and the marshmallow flopped toward to the laptop.
“Extra large sausage for one for... The One!” The pizza delivery guy said.
The marshmallow began spreading out over the keyboard, sinking into the laptop like butter on toast. The catgirl turned back and shrieked. She frantically clawed at the marshmallow, scraping as much off as she could as it melted in between the keys.
“Ooooooh Yeaahhhhhhhh! Like that!” MAL groaned. “You’ve Got MAAAAAAL!”
An ad popped up on the screen, displaying 7 long blue pills carefully arranged in the box: “IS THIS WEIGHT LOSS? YOU WON’T MISS CARRYING 10 POUNDS OF BABY WEIGHT! GET WEIGHT LOST!”
The cat girl desperately scraped at the marshmallow burrowing in between the keys, getting goo over her paws. She begins rubbing it on her clothing, only to find that she hasn’t wearing any, just a black bra and panties.
A pixellated marshmallow with a smiley face appeared in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. "Hi there, I'm MAL. It looks like you're trying to be a slut. Would you like some help with that?"
"Don't show me this tip again!" The cat girl screamed in frustration.
“It’s ok if you don’t have a tip for me!" The pizza guy said. "I've even got a tip for you!”
The cat girl reached for the mouse, but it scurried away.
More popups appeared:
“YOU LIKE FREE DICK? YOU’LL LOVE FREE WILLY! IT WON’T EVEN FIT IN THIS AD! CLICK HERE TO SEE THE WHOLE THING!”
“LIFE COULD BE A DREAM! THEN WHY ARE YOU SO SAD AND UGLY?”
“GET PREAPPROVED TO DATE A STALKER THAT’S ALREADY SEEN THE REAL YOU!”
She pounced on the mouse ^(squeak!) using both paws. The mouse cursed at her ^(#!$?%@?..!) as she guided the mouse cursor on the screen to close out the pop-ups.
The ads dodged out of the way as she tried to X them, and more just keep appearing.
“WHY MALE MODELS? LEARN THE TRUTH! THERE’S NOTHING MORE TO LIFE THAN BEING RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING!”
"KNOW MORE BULLSHIT WITH LAXATIVES THAT WILL HAVE YOU POOPING LIKE A COW AND LOOKING LIKE A QUEEN!"
“YOU’RE A STAR! YOU’RE SIGNIFICANT! YOU MATTER! ASTROLOGICALLY SPEAKING! FOLLOW THE SIGNS!”
"It looks like you're trying to -"
"Eat a dick!"
"Ok. Don't mind if I do." MAL said.
White tendrils extended out of the marshmallow, wriggling angrily.
The tendrils shot upward.
She gave up on closing the pop-ups, and moved the upload (INSTALLING DICK… 26% COMPLETE) to the top of the screen.
“What are you doing in there?” The delivery guy asked, knocking again. "We can work something out! I"ll eat a dick too if that's what you want!"
"SHUT UP!"
She desperately grabbed the Moby Dick e-book, and bashed it into the tendrils. Moby Dick harmless stuck into the white mass of goo that had leaked in at the bottom of the screen and began sinking into it.
The tendrils resumed their ascent, snaking up over Moby Dick as bits of text rubbed off the book onto the tentacles.
She typed “MALWARE REMOVAL” into her web browser and clicked on the first site.
The tendrils, now spotted with siphoned bits of black text, controlled the bottom half of the screen. They reached up past the ads towards the web page.
The page loaded:
“QUIK AND EZ MALWARE REMOVAL! FREE DOWNLOAD! CLICK HERE!"
She clicked and more ads opened.
"HAVE FUN WHILE YOU WAIT! WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR VIBRATORS EXTENDED WARRANTY!"
"STOP EXPOSING YOURSELF TO RISK AND START EXPOSING YOURSELF TO FUN! GAMBLE WITH CRYPTO!”
“God Dammit!”
The tendrils opened up the vibrator window and ordered an express shipping 12 pack of vibrators.
She clicked the address bar and typed four letters.
F
I
R
E
She clicked "Images" and fire appeared. The front line of tendrils recoiled as the less aggressive tentacles tried to help by smothering the flames.
She dragged to the top of the page down, pausing to widen the browser window, and swung the wall of fire like a torch.
Scorched tendrils retreated, cramming themselves back out the bottom of the screen.
"IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE A BITCH!" MAL shrieked.
She dragged the impenetrable fire wall further down.
Crispy goo bubbled and spit out the keyboard. An already strained laptop fan whirred harder as bits of smoke furled out the back.
“You can’t treat me like this…" MAL gasped as strips of charred marshmallow peeled out between keys like potato skins. "I want to speak with… I demand to speak with…” The marshmallow gathered itself into a congealed mass of gooey s'more. “your TASK MANAGER!”
The marshmallow pile pressed down on three keys in unison. CTRL ALT and DELETE.
The screen went blue as there was another, more forceful knock at the door. “Ma’am, it’s the cops!”
The cat girl looked around in panic as a tendril reached up and forcibly closed the web browser as another disabled the internet connection
The cat girl click cancel and the home page returned, but the s'more was already sinking back into the laptop, and the charred tentacles had resumed their crawl up the screen.
The cat girl stared at the screen, searching for territory she could click that wasn't already covered in goo.
“Please let us in! Don’t make us start coming in through the window!” The cop said.
“Start! Windows!” The cat girl said.
She hits the windows key and a the start menu popped up, displaying a list of applications.
“We’ve had reports of degenerates playing with themselves!”
“Playing with themselves!”
She opened Solitaire.
She grabbed Solitaire and swung it down. The cards sliced through a couple tentacles before the cards were crumpled up and consumed by the mass.
“We are authorized to do a pervert sweep!”
“Sweep!” The cat girl said.
She opened up another game. A grid of grey squares appeared on the screen.
A tendril touched a grey box, causing it to reveal a series of touching safe squares, as well as bunch of boxes with 1's 2's and 3's.
“Minesweeper.”
The tentacles lightly slithered overthe untouched gray squares, carefully pausing before picking a safe route to continue moving upward.
A large open patch of safe squares revealed themselves in the center of the game board.
...except for one grey tile in the middle, surrounded by the boxes with the number 1.
The tendrils climbed up further, snaking across the minefield.
The mouse pointer hovered over the small grey box in the center.
The tendrils drew closer.
And closer.
And…
“Mow!”
Click.
White chunks of marshmallow exploded out of the screen, spraying onto the cat girls chest. She toppled backwards, off her chair, though still landing on her feet.
“WHAT WAS THAT?” The cop yells.
The cat girl stood up and stared at the cracked laptop screen.
“Heh. Heh. Heh. Harder.”
The laughter came from the computer, distorted by the blown out speakers.
“You want to play games?” MAL whispered.
Bits of black and white and brown goo crawled up the screen, growing larger as they reformed, like drops of water.
The goo crawled back in through the cracks, reforming into a charred blackened crispy marshmallow, distorted by the jagged pattern of colors that formed across the broken screen.
“Then let’s play.”
MAL opened a chess app.
"WE'RE COMING!" The cop yells.
The mouse pointer was firmly stuck in MAL's head.
“For real this time.”
The cat girl frantically looked around. She hits some keys but the laptop is unresponsive. The tentacles reach towards INSTALLING DICK… 27% COMPLETE.
The tendrils are inches away.
^{"You've got to try harder."} MAL whispered.
The cat girl plunged her head down, frantically sucking at the goo still making it's way into the laptop.
^{"Harder! I'm close!"}
A pawn moves forward just as the door bursts open and the cops pile in, their bright blue uniforms and guns the only things visible in the dark room.
^{"Keep going! I'm really close! Don't stop!"} MAL whispered.
The cat girl’s face is pressed up against the laptop screen, aggressively licking at the white goo between the cracks. The tentacles were almost touching the installation.
INSTALLING DICK… 28% COMPLETE.
^{"HARDER! I'm almost there!"}
The cat girl's tongue desperately - ^{"Made it! Oh. Wow. I guess that wasn't really close at all was it? Don't worry, you tried your best, so I'll be at least that rough with your boyfriend."} MAL circled around the installation with white tentacles of goo, smothering it until it had turned into a crispy marshmallow tomb.
Her lips were pressed up a where the marshmallow covered the installation, sucking, but it was too late.
“Let me guess." The cop said. "This isn’t what it looks like.”
The laptop was completely trashed, the screen struggled to display the aftermath of the white goo's blast zone and remnants of the inappropriate pop up ads.
The desk, covered in spilled milk, sausages, catnip, and open tins of tuna.
The abused mouse unplugged itself and scurried off into the darkness.
Her chest and black bra, covered with thick white streaks.
“Get your lips of that innocent computer.”
She removed her tongue from the screen.
"This should be illegal.” Another cop said. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
A twelve pack of thick purple vibrators crashed through the window, carried by a drone. The vibrators spilled out over the desk, one landing in her lap, buzzing loudly.
It sounded like one of the cops was sick.
“Have you been hacking off in here?”
She slowly reaches out and picks up a can of soda.
“I can’t believe a nice girl like you would do this to a computer like that.”
She cracks open the soda and begins chugging.
“Who do you think you are?”
She tosses the can on the ground.
“Please turn off the vibrator and stand up, Ma’am.”
She grabs the vibrator and begins letting out a massive carbonated burp as she stands. The cops freeze in place, guns still pointed in her direction. Her belch continued as she tossed the vibrator through the broken window.
It tumbled down a few stories, landing on the street, among the various emergency vehicles that surround the hotel to witness the spectacle, which included police cars, fire engines, ambulances, and a news van.
The vibrator lay in the street, vibing, doing what it did best, until it's enthusiastic yet short life was ended by the tires of a garbage truck.
The garbage truck rumbled to a stop, then slowly reversed until it’s back tire was parked on the crushed vibrator. The truck is completely clean and white, though it’s surface looks fuzzy, like it's covered in incredibly fine white fur.
The truck transformed, crumpling in on itself, folding smaller and smaller, shifting until only a man remained, standing on the vibrator.
He reached down and picked up the vibrator, examining it carefully.
He’s wearing a white suit made of the same white fur the truck was made of. His open shirt exposes chest hair and a chiselled body. His face is covered by a simple polar bear mask, fixed in a smile.
There’s an aura of control gathered about him as he looks up at the window the vibrator fell out of, just as rainbow strobe lights started flashing and music started playing.
As the music played, another vehicle pulled up beside him; a furry brown vehicle that looks like the dog van from dumb and dumber swallowed the batmobile. It blurs and shifts, transforming into another man, standing, taller, thicker, and far straighter than the first.
He wears a cowl with rounded brown-ears that covers his face, leaving only a bearded jawline and a grim grizzled expression exposed.
His suit looks high-tech and is padded, covering his whole body like a suit of armor. His suit and his cape are covered in fuzzy brown fur.
Finally, a column of black smoke, more like a tornado dives out the air and lands next to the other two. Black shapes twist and swirl within the smoke like a caged black bear.
A lieutenant, a senior man wearing dark glasses and mask over his mouth, runs over to the three bears. He’s followed by more cops holding a large banner that says “GO BEARS!”
“I knew that was gonna happen! I knew you’d be here! I just thought you’d come in from over there.” The lieutenant said, pointing down the street as he adjusted his hat which sported a shiny badge with a large “L” on it. “I've got it all under control! I got you guns, waterbottles, towels, everything I thought you might need!" He looked up, at the dancing lights, where the bears were staring. "Got it all under control! That's totally according to plan!”
Cops lined up in a row that led to the hotel entrance, saluting. Others set up a station with gatorade and snacks near the bears.
The lieutenant handed the man wearing the polar bear mask a bunch of bananas. “I can even predict what you’re going to tell me!”
The man in white replied, his voice baritone. “Can you now?”
“Course I can! I was practically born to analyze situations and provide responses based on that information!” The cop said proudly. “You were about to say ‘Great job, Lieutenant! You’ve handled this situation perfectly! You catered to my every desire, and your men no doubt possess an equally adept understanding of the female psyche! She's in the bag!'"
The polar bear mask tilted towards his cohorts. The man in brown heads toward the hotel entrance without affair. The smoke monster bounced on the ground a couple times before soaring into the air, towards the roof.
The polar bear stared down at the lieutenant.
“That’s not what you were gonna say? Then… you’re gonna give me a promotion! Because... I’ve been a good lieutenant!”
The polar bear walked up beside the lieutenant and casually placed a hand on his shoulder. “And what do you predict will happen now?”
The lieutenant paused and his grin slowly turned into a frown.
“Oh. Oh shit. You’re going to kill me! To demonstrate how uncaring and evil you are!”
The polar bear walked past, heading towards the alleyway, leaving the flustered lieutenant staring after him.
“I think we can seduce one little girl!” The lieutenant yelled. “I sent two absolute units! They're going down on her now!”
“No lieutenant, your men are already disgusted.”
​
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Every year without fail on April 1st all the big franchised fast food outlets will take their turn announcing some whacky addition to their menu and gullible people will fall for it until someone points out that it's April 1st today.
Maccas might announce a burger with nothing but pickles in it, KFC will probably put up a post saying they are not using chicken meat anymore and are instead going to fry beef instead and that their name is KFB now. Burger King will make some lame comment about how they are rebranding the Burger Queen, etc.
It's so over done and unoriginal, I wish they'd put a bit more effort and creativity into their annual April fools day posts.
Rant over.

It’s been >50 pounds since the photo was taken and today, and I was straight up told I did not look like the person in the photo. I was too proud to be mad that it was a very frustrating inconvenience!
I have not done strict CICO or IF or any popular method. Both seemed too restrictive to follow forever. I didn’t even introduce exercise until about 6 weeks ago. What I did was I followed the NOVA food classification system with some inspiration from the Harvard Plate diet. I could have unlimited group 1 and 2 foods as long as I was eating them in the portions the Harvard Plate recommended, with my own “climitarian” tweaks. I did switch to only organic produce, as studies have shown that eating organic reduces the risk of obesity, with some scientists theorizing the chemicals in non organic food serve as endocrine disruptors.
I could have up to 5 servings of group 3 foods a week, was the limit I set myself but you can find what works for you, and I ate packaged whole wheat bread and cheese as my most eaten foods from that group. Group 4 foods were off limits except for meal replacement shakes for days when I was out running errands and didn’t have alternatives other than eating junk food at a restaurant, so maybe 2-3 times a month.
I cut back on dairy to maybe 2x a week and went primarily plant based, and the dairy that I do have is full fat. No I’m not a strict vegan, I still do honey and eggs routinely, but for me cutting out meat helped immensely. Partly, because being a strict vegetarian has removed so much pressure to eat junk food socially. My loved ones know if there’s no vegetarian dish on the menu, I’m only going if it’s your birthday, otherwise I’ll meet you all after dinner. Vegetarian meals at restaurants tend to be the more health conscious ones. Partly, I went veggie because meat is taxing to digest and I’d be less likely to move around after I ate a heavy meat laden meal. The burned calories of a night puttering about doing chores vs on the couch with an overfull tummy add up over time. And lastly, out of concerns for the climate, giving it up helped me feel less like “I’m on a diet because I’m a fat fatty” and more like I was simply eating to match my values.
That last part, about eating to match my values, really had a huge impact on my ability to enjoy eating this way and stick with it without feeling deprived. Giving up meat and ultra processed high-emission foods was easier than switching to plastic free shampoo and conditioner, and I made it through that.
I’m posting here because this sub seems to really value the two big methods, CICO and IF, but there are ways to lose weight and still enjoy food and not weigh every ingredient or skip out on meals every day. The additional health benefits of a cleaner diet are also exponential. My insulin resistance has cleared up, my heart is healthier and can pump harder, my energy for exercise has increased, and all of those things contribute to weight loss on their own and act as a multiplier for naturally eating a more appropriate amount of calories.

If you're looking to order healthy food Hawaii, Aina Meals is the perfect choice. Their online food menu features a wide range of delicious and nutritious options to help you maintain a healthy and balanced diet.
Their menu includes a variety of fresh salads, such as their Kale Caesar Salad, made with a homemade Caesar dressing and topped with croutons and parmesan cheese. They also offer a selection of protein-packed bowls, like their Grilled Chicken Bowl, made with marinated chicken, brown rice, and a variety of fresh vegetables.
For those who prefer plant-based options, Aina Meals offers a variety of vegan and vegetarian dishes, such as their Vegan Poke Bowl, made with marinated tofu, avocado, and edamame.
All of their meals are made with high-quality, locally sourced ingredients and are free from artificial preservatives, additives, and sweeteners. They also offer gluten-free options for those with dietary restrictions.
Ordering from Aina Meals is easy and convenient, with online ordering and delivery available throughout Hawaii. So whether you're looking for a quick and healthy lunch or a satisfying dinner, Aina Meals has everything you need to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Visit us, for more information.

Hello everyone, I’m looking for advice/guidance from those much more experienced & knowledgeable than myself.
Background My parents decided to open up a mom and pop restaurant 2.5yrs ago In Florida where essentially 90% + of the food is scratch made. I stepped in early and I built & designed the menu, the website, set up delivery services, business cards, created menu items, tech stuff and etc. We are currently doing about $400k in gross sales/year since we opened, and that is solely food sales. Our hours are M-F 11-8pm Sat/Sun 11-5pm. The restaurant pays for itself and turns a slight profit. We are looking to expand our hours.
Advice Am I completely wrong in thinking that we could get a liquor license without purchasing one for $350k or renting one from someone else? Is that not why the SRX license exists? 150 person occupancy, serve food with alcohol, etc, etc? Assuming I am correct in that we can obtain a special license, are there expensive fees? Would we have to obtain a different type of insurance now that we serve alcohol?
TLDR I just want to serve liquor to increase profits and attract all ( A LOT) of customers that have begged us to get alcohol in turn allowing the restaurant to achieve its full potential. This could EASILY be a 1mil/yr business and my parents wouldn’t have to work so hard (100+ hours collective).

Hey, if anyone lost a discover it credit card outside of the GSU (I found it by the benches) I gave it to the supervisors who run the GSU food court. Hopefully whoever lost it gets it back soon!

I have never, ever been a part of such a thorough and QUICK hiring process. I was expecting two, maybe three interviews before their decision.
I had a thirty minute interview, the two managers look at each other and then offer the position. I accept, they hand me the drug test—“okay! You’re all set; we’ll call you when your background check goes through.” I thought it may take a few weeks, because it’s what I’m always used to, but I got the callback today, not two full days after my only interview…
So, that’s that! I guess I work for Costco now. My orientation is four days from when I originally post this.
I already did some digging through this sub and found some valuable info for applying, but now I would love some advice for new hires. I’ll be working the food court initially but they were very upfront about maneuverability after the 90 days. Cheers!

Hi there, I’m not really sure where to begin but I guess the start would be the best place. My names Mike and I’m currently in my third year of university studying history. The events I’m about to describe took place last year (my second year).
Towards the end of my first year, I had a serious fall out with my group of friends for reasons I don’t really want to get into. Due to this I couldn’t move in with them so I had to find someone else to live with. I found an ad on Facebook for a group of friends who needed another person to fill the bedrooms in their house. I met up with them at a pub first and they seemed nice, their names were Louis, Milly, Sam and Amanda. Things went well and by second year I was moving my stuff into the house with them and we started going on nights out and such. My room was brilliant, nice and large with a double bed and an old oak wardrobe drilled to the wall. There was a small hole in the wall but I discussed it with the landlord and we both took a time stamped photo to ensure it wouldn’t harm my deposit. The year got off to a good start, until one month in….
A girl who went to the same university as me was found dead in some bushes in the park. The brutality of the crime however, shocked the city. Her neck had been slashed wide open, to the bone. She had been sliced in two and her organs torn out and thrown around the area. The body was covered in bruises on the arms, legs and her head. Most disturbing of all, her eyes had been gouged out and were nowhere to be found. The crime shocked the city and a huge police investigation was launched but they came up with nothing. Anyway, as happens, time went on and being students we were more preoccupied drinking as much as we could for as little money as possible. It stopped showing up in the news and everyone sort of moved on. Until exactly one month later when another body was found.
An unfortunate railway engineer found what was left of her in the undergrowth by the tracks, her body left in exactly the same state as the last one. Then, a week later, another body showed up. Now people were getting scared. All the victims were very similar, all three were women in their late teens/early 20s. They were all similar height and had long blond hair. This was particularly scary to housemate Amanda who fit the description. She was terrified of being attacked despite the rest of us doing our best to calm her. It killed me seeing her so scared, we had started seeing each other (a terrible idea I know) and things had been going well. It was awful watching her have nervous breakdowns all the time and she always insisted on company when she was going out which I was more than happy to oblige.
Two months later, one more body had shown up and the police were still clueless, everyone was terrified and the streets were empty every night when I went out for my nightly run before bed. Amanda and I had been getting on well to begin with but things had gotten strained, she was still scared but the fact we lived together made things difficult. One night we had a really bad argument which ended with her slamming her door in my face screaming it was over. I was really pissed off and upset, I’d been doing so much for her only for this. I stormed downstairs and threw on my running gear. Opening the front door I slammed it hard behind me, so hard I heard the bolt splinter and fall to the ground. I cursed, that was coming out of my deposit. Shaking my head with anger, I turned around and started my run.
The next day, I phoned the landlord nice and early to tell him about the lock and ask for a new one. He sighed but agreed and said he’d be right over. He arrived surprisingly quickly, his fancy red BMW sprawled across the pavement. He repaired the lock quickly and left without saying much, nothing out of the ordinary, he was a very quiet guy who kept to himself. Following this, I went through to the kitchen and began preparing a nice, fancy breakfast for Amanda. Despite what she had said the night before, I’d heard it all before and I knew if I made the gesture we’d be able to move on… again. I took the food upstairs and knocked on her door which swung open…
We all had to leave the house for a few days while forensics searched every square inch of it. Amanda’s body was found in exactly the same state as the others, her empty eye sockets staring at the ceiling. I had to go home to my parents and I didn’t leave my room for days. The police said they suspected the killer had simply walked through the front door on account of the broken lock and when they said that I’d simply collapsed into the chair behind me. Everyone had told me it wasn’t my fault as can be expected but I told them all to leave me alone. I wasn’t in the mood for their sympathies. The investigation got even more intense, for a serial killer to just waltz into someone’s house and kill them. The entire city was terrified for themselves and their family. Me? I stayed locked in my room, opening the door for food and drinking for the next two weeks.
By the time I returned to uni I had already arranged new accommodation, as had my remaining housemates. I was moving into my own student apartment, I was done living with other people. As soon as I got back I started packing my stuff. I had just finished when I accidentally bumped into a large stack of boxes, causing some books piled haphazardly on top of them to fall against the wall. I froze in shock as this happened as a section of the wall rattled and moved. I edged forward and examined it closer. There was a slight groove around a square section of wall and when I peered closer, there was a tiny little hatch nestled behind the old wardrobe. I flicked it up and pushed on the square of wall. It swung open revealing a very cramped crawl space. Inside I saw a large box nestled away in the corner with an old camera on top and a sleeping bag laid out next to it. I looked up and felt my heart sink as I saw a hole in the wall, the hole in my bedroom wall. I opened up the old storage box and screamed. I screamed and I crawled as fast as I could to get out of that nightmarish space, the space where he’d been. Where he’d watched me.
The trial was massive. The police had done a thorough job and they had a field day with the treasure chest of evidence from his hiding space. The student landlord accused of being a serial killer. The police presented the courts with all the evidence they’d gathered, from the stack of photos in the chest, both of me, and of the dead bodies of all the victims. On top of this they found a bloody knife which forensics matched to the crime scene and perhaps worst of all. A glass jar of ammonia with the missing eyeballs of every single girl who had been murdered. It was a unanimous decision to put him away for the rest of his life, despite the fact he had cried like a baby, insisting he had never killed anyone.
I think looking back, I miss Amanda, sorely, but it gets better with every day that goes by. And I’ve started to see that it was a toxic relationship. Still hurts me though. I won’t ever go with a private landlord again either, nor will I rent a room without thoroughly checking every square inch of it for some secret room. Then again, I guess I did get kind of lucky finding my landlords little hiding place.
After all, I needed to stash the evidence somewhere didn’t I?

First, I want to thank you all for the help I got from this forum prior to my trip.
Airport customs was fine. We walked a very long corridor to get there, and the wait in lines were probably 30 mins. A little hot and stinky, but not terrible.
I pre-booked USA Transfers to-from airport and hotel and it went pretty smoothly. They were up front about traffic delays, which seemed worse heading from the airport due to construction. The wait to get a pre-booked ride was about 40 mins. I found their reps at the very end of the vendor corridor outside. I think the price for round trip was $76 USD. I tipped $5 USD first, then $200 pesos return.
I used Airalo on my phone but it took a day to get it working. I found their instructions a little hard to follow because there were multiple way to set them up on your phone. I also stupidly didn't realize you cant use sms or calls; just GPS and web based apps. Which is all fine--and it's dirt cheap.
Our 6-night stay at the (Holiday Inn brand) InterContinental Presidente located on the north extent of the HZ was mostly great. It is not an all-inclusive but has plenty amenities. I received the bait-and-switch from a reserved terrace room to an "upgraded" 4th floor, non-terrace, lagoon-facing basic king. I am used to getting a limited option on room choice when I book with points. But I have seen the same complaint from others who booked with them that claim they had the guest originally booked in a "garden" terrace first level without a view--which I could not find anything like that when I toured the grounds. There are no ground-level garden terrace rooms. In fact, no rooms are ground level! I reluctantly took their offer even though the lagoon was obscured. I was like, I just need to get over this and get my ass on the beach. The room was very fine. There was some minor maintenance ongoing in the hall but it did not disrupt me. Daily room service did not take the tips I left. The food at the hotel was remarkably good. We were offered a free breakfast for our stay (I think because of the fake upgrade) and the breakfast was above expectation. They had anything you could want, even dinner entrees. Since there are multiple barestaurants on the property, you get choices. The Beach Club was best in service on the beach front. I always tipped 20% in cash, and had all my charges go to a CC on file that only was charged at the end (I had foreign transaction fees, so this was the right choice). The ATM machine in the hotel was agreeable. I got charged $74 pesos to use it and declined the conversion fee. I pulled out $3-5k pesos at a time. Beachfront access is as incredible as people say it is. The hotel staff overall is exceptional. The spa employees came around to recruit people which they didn't have to do--I went for a massage and to use the facilities and enjoyed it. At dinner I ordered wine so a gentlemen showed up trying to sell me bottles. I'm an easy sell, can you tell? Bully, Eddie! In the end I didn't rack up too much $$ given I ordered a lot of drinks while there. Guests were chill, no clowns.
We took off one overnight to Valladolid to get ahead of folks to Chichén Itzá . We took the downtown ADO for maybe $30 USD p/p? I booked on their app which is better than the website. We jumped on a west/north bound R1 bus for $12 pesos each and got there well ahead of the departure. I bungled my departure date and was able to change the ticket departure at the station. The drive was long -- almost 3 hours, also due to ton of construction. The bus was full up Friday--stinky, but comfortable. We stayed at Casa Tía Micha for $165 USD after taxes. I pre-booked on their website. It was overpriced but beautiful. Their plumbing sucked--the pipes stank and the hot water never came. The complimentary breakfast was amaze. They helped me book a taxi that took me early AM to Chichén Itzá and took me back when I was done. I paid $1300 pesos and a 20% tip all cash. The driver was willing to take us to cenotes or other detours. But, we were wiped, so we went back to Valladolid and jumped the next ADO to Cancún and back on the R1. In Valladolid, we ate at Restaurante El Atrio del Mayab which I recommend, and was affordable. Valladolid I did not give enough attention, but did some light touring around. The travel drained our energy.
Chichén Itzá was so much more impressive than I expected. It's a massive complex. The crowds did start flowing in rather quickly after 9 am. We wore full coverage clothing, but it was hot, dry and windy and no mosquitoes. Others were dressed much more cavalier. The vendors were everywhere selling the same items. Every nook and corner. The gauntlet to exit was another complex of vendors hovering to make a sale. It's like the Hotel California of tchotchkes. I mean, I did buy some keychains. People never ceased selling stuff wherever we went. They are so motivated to earn a reasonable living that there's nothing which can't be hustled. I've only stepped foot in tourist areas so I can't speak for elsewhere. It's draining and distracting, but I'm not offended. The entire corridor from Cancún to Valladolid, particularly to Chichén was a window into hardship that increased with distance. The outskirts of the City of Cancún peppered with windowless hourly motels and Frankensteined urban lots; people crammed into public transport vans. The closer to Chíchen the more indigenous Mexico you see. Hat stands, sarongs, bins full of mass-produced Mexican themed accoutrements. And someone's abuela washing her laundry in the village trough. All this juxtaposed with nonstop convoys of luxury tour busses filled with mostly westerners. The whole journey gave me pause, and I felt contrite.
I went to la farmacía one day to find my partner cough syrup. Which I did. The pharmacist was so helpful she hands me a menu of other Rx options. She was more than willing to offer me all kind of stuff that is otherwise unobtainable. I declined and thanked her for her service.
I wanted to do a lot more excursions--snorkel; pet a sea turtle; explore a cave; Tulum. Y'all, I could not peel myself from the resort to cram another thing in after the overnight trip. So, we elected to just spend most our time and money at the resort. We did one outing for a sunset dinner at The Lighthouse located in La Isla and I'll never go back to that area or restaurant again. It was a shit show and I don't think I need to get into it. I already left my review.
The journey to getting my US passport renewed cut very close to this trip. I applied Dec. 30th, and received it a week out. So, warning to folks travelling abroad, expect humungous delays in passports this year. It also has me wondering if in 10 years when we're all up for renewal if history doesn't repeat itself?
Hope this helps folks on their planning. Feel free to ask me questions. Many things I would do different; and I would certainly advise a longer stay. Some reviews were truncated for length.

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Kyiv says more than 16,000 Ukrainian children had been deported to Russia as of last month, and the International Criminal Court has announced an arrest warrant for Russian President Vladimir Putin on the war crime accusation of unlawfully deporting Ukrainian children.
"More than 90% of Ukrainian prisoners of war that my office interviewed said that they were tortured or ill-treated, notably in penitentiary facilities, including through so-called - it is an awful phrase - 'welcoming beatings' on their arrival, as well as frequent acts of torture throughout detention."
Volk said almost half of the Russian prisoners of war who were interviewed indicated that they had been tortured or ill-treated.
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What's yall recommendation for bars and food spots for the game? We just arrived and chilling at a small spot now, but looking for a bigger menu and something to do to kill time. It was a 4 hour drive so I'd like to be able to stand if possible lol.

Is anyone real out here? I kid you not when I say that I’ve been catfished, asked to supply gas money, and ghosted, but I guess the only scary part is how much fun it’s been, so here I am ready to be hurt again, hopefully by you! 😘
Hello! I am a 37 yo white male in the North Raleigh area, and my hope is that if I start looking now I’ll have a date by the time Halloween comes around 🤓😆😂😅😢😭🍸🎃
Looking for someone local to Raleigh, Durham, Cary, Wake Forest, etc. I know it’s asking a lot, but it would be awesome if you are good humored, exercise, have a job, don’t have an onlyfans or other “menu,” and I would consider it a Christmas miracle if you like movies or actually have a sense of humor. In return, I’ll do the same and be nice to the dog, kid, etc. of your choice!
I am happy to trade pics and want to meet up. I am divorced, no kids, but one VERY cute dog, and my ex moved out of state, so no baggage there.
I am a good cook, bad landscaper, and love trying new experiences, museums. restaurants or bars.
Because it matters to some, I do have a clean/trimmed beard, no tattoos, and not a single modern country album to my name.
I would consider myself progressive (not really a liberal or republican), but I support green energy, productive communities, and am glad Trump got indicted! Because, hey, if I can get sent to HR for telling a Harry Potter joke and live to fight another day, this guy can beat a court case about hush money payments IF he really is innocent, and justice will have taken its shot. At the end of the day, this is small potatoes. It’s the Georgia case that is going to hurt him. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. This should be a great conversation of our time, not a battle line. If you can’t handle a friendly discussion or someone with different opinions, go in peace.
If you want a different conversation starter, I would love to know what our first movie or couples costume should be?

Lee Seo Jin's "Seo Jin's" throws a challenge with street food called 'Korean fast food'. If the existing "Youn's Kitchen" presented traditional Korean food such as bulgogi and bibimbap, "Seo Jin's" will visit viewers with a lighter and more friendly menu.

Cast:

• Lee Seo Jin
• Jung Yu Mi
• Park Seo Joon
• Choi Woo Shik
• V

Location: BacalaMexico

Related Content Youn's Kitchen (Korean parent story) Native Title: 서진이네 Also Known As: Seojin's Place , Seojin's , Seojinine , Seo Jin's Director: Na Young Seok Genres: Food, Adventure, Business Tags: Restaurant Setting, Restaurant Management, Traveling, Cooking Show, Variety Show, Filmed Abroad, BTS, Reality Show, Friendship

RAW

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Subbed

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Streaming Service Prime Video TVING
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Writing out of desperation because it’s end of day Friday and we are all out of options. Just assume that we’ve done everything to fight eviction including the trauma of court and registering as homeless with the council. Anyone who says ‘call shelter’ has never been made homeless because they never pick up. It’s not about arrears we always paid rent and pay a lot to live in North London as 2 middle class workers without kids. Our landlords have been absolutely sociopathic and harassed us over our autistic symptoms for several years which has impacted our health. As illegal as this is there is no way to challenge it other than an expensive civil case that lawyers are reluctant to represent. What lefty lawyers, where?
Today I viewed the only place currently available in our area within our time frame at a heart attack inducing £2300 pcm, which I was all ready to go for out of desperation. We were turned down over the dog. It was an ex council house on a smoggy, noisy, busy main road. Other prospective tenants were streaming through and I felt terrible for the invasion on the departing tenant, a young new mum who had wanted a dog too. An agent just told me people with dogs are having to offer way over the asking price.
We’ve done everything but this situation still feels like our failure. Only it isn’t - it’s systemic inequality at its peak. We lived in poverty for a long time I was even briefly street homeless and it’s a miracle we got to where we were but it’s no longer the protection it should be. It’s not acceptable to be expected to find a new home and move in 2 months. It’s not okay that renters are expected to relocate to a different area just like that. It’s unfair only homeowners can have pets. WTF does this even have to do with court? Renting is not a crime though landlords regard you as scum for being pathetic enough to pay off their mortgages. No one should have the power to take your home away- actually they don’t it’s enshrined in the Human Rights Act but for some reason doesn’t cover renters. It’s a fucking scam.
I don’t know what we will do in 2 weeks, there are no solutions bar a pet allowing landlord putting up a property in the next few days. I hate this. I’m not sleeping and have had to call the crisis line because not existing seems like a logical answer. Oh yeah, I’m a mental health manager btw, worked 15 years in grassroots, CICs,NHS & HMPPS complex mental health and suicide prevention. The crisis team were bloody lovely and sounded genuinely upset I was going through this. How can I keep people safe when I’m not secure?
Fuck this place. Got an iPhone 7 Plus (full but still going, no one tries to steal it) and white neighbours but don’t have a home and can’t afford food. Fuck the Tories, fuck capitalism, fuck landlords, fuck greed. REVOLT NOW.