Was arthur ashe gay

[NY] Is this sexual harassment?

2023.05.31 06:23 bored-in-the-house [NY] Is this sexual harassment?

My boss makes me uncomfortable but I do not know if it is considered sexual harassment or not...
I (female subordinate) went to bosses office (male superior) with intention to discuss current work topics. Boss began complaining about ex-wife, accused ex-wife of being gay, and further explained that her sexual orientation is to blame for lack of sexual contact on their wedding night, as well as stating comment about poor sexual performance allegedly said from ex-wife to boss... I was made extremely uncomfortable by unwanted information pertaining to my supervisor's personal sex life.
On another occasion, boss and I were eating lunch in crowded employee cafeteria. Boss (rather loudly) described female acquaintance "love of life" who boss "would not trust himself with" implying sexual intentions if they were to reconnect at an upcoming reunion. I did not ask for any of this information to be shared with me and was embarrassed by the volume at which this topic was being discussed in a public work setting.
I went to bosses office to discuss logistics. While discussing at bosses desk and pointing to diagram on computer screen, I noticed bosses phone was on his desk below me and he was online shopping for lingerie (hot pink crotchless panties).
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2023.05.31 06:22 Field-Formal Help making a not sucky Level 8 character - Primarily Stars Druid

I’m semi-retiring my current character and need a replacement. My current character is leaving for into the Feywild, and narratively it would make sense if his replacement came from there. I know Dreams or Shepherd make more sense, but I’ve always wanted to play a Stars Druid so I'm going for it now.
Rules are:
1) Level 8 and is ideally "online" from the start, not at like level 14 or something
2) Primarily Stars Druid though I'll consider multiclassing if it make sense thematically
3) Doesn't have to be a perfect fighting machine but should feel relatively optimal and like I'm contributing.
4) No free starter feat, feats preferred over ASIs.
5) Stats of 8/15/15/11/17/12 not necessarily in that order
6) One Uncommon Item and one Rare Item
Without writing a novel on our campaign, our party is prepping to take on a litch leading a small conclave of dragons. My current character is an Archfey Warlock or Titania. He's entering the Feywild with her permission, in an attempt to rescue his father and possibly find a McGuff-I mean weapon that might end up valuable in taking on the conclave. While he's gone, he has convinced Titania to assign a member of her court to literally take his place in the party so they're not down a man while he is gone.
So flavor-wise I'm thinking of a character who was has a dark-ish past they're trying to forget/run from. Maybe they're from the Unseelie Court and fled begging protection from the Seelie Court. Maybe they loath the Unseelie Court but were sent on a mission to infiltrate the Seelie. However they're secretly falling for it. Or maybe it's not a Seelie/Unseelie thing. Maybe they were raised by a hag or archfey and managed to flee/fake their death/etc. I'm just throwing spaghetti at the wall here, and I'm very open to suggestions. I know I want to character to be light-hearted at least on surface level. Very bubbly and excitable, and spacey with his head in the clouds. I like the idea of him being fascinated and perplexed by the material plane. And I imagine he's a "true believer" in terms of seeing fate and the future in the stars. Like, even when one of his fortunes is proven to be wrong he just says, "I obviously just lack the wisdom to accurately read the message sent to us by the heavens". Going with Harry Potter references, I'm imagining an Arthur Weasley meets Professor Trelawney.
Mechanically, I would like to be able to deal decent damage at range, but focus heavily on battlefield control and support. I get the feeling straight Stars Druid is going to be my best bet. That way I get two Feats/ASIs from the start, and I don't have to worry about delayed spell progression. However if I did multiclass I could only really imagine imagine a level or two into Cleric. I don't imagine him being a follower of a specific god, but he's definitely devout to the concept of fate and the order in nature. Nature Cleric of course makes sense thematically, and would be ok mechanically. Peace Cleric would be a crazy powerful healer, though I don't know if it makes sense thematically. Order Cleric would sorta make sense on both fronts.
For race I'm thinking Wood Elf or Harengon. I want the choice to make sense with the Fey theme, and they seem the most fun. Harengon seems fun being able to act quickly and get out of tight spots easily. Wood Elf's 35 Ft movement speed is always tempting, but I don't know if it would do anything else for me.
For stats, I was thinking of going 8/15/15/11/17/12. WIS obviously high for spellcasting, then CON for health and CON saving throws, and Dex for AC and in case I go harengon and want high initiative.
Fey/ Shadow Touched would both make sense mechanically and thematically and could round out my WIS score to 18. For my other, I don't know if it'd be best to go with an ASI or a feat. Resilient Con, Warcaster, even something like Mobile could be fun.
For items there are some truly broken things I could go for. The Amulet of Health would allow me to dump my Con and invest in Str, or even Cha and sorta be the face of the party. Cloak/Ring of Protection are always staple choices. I wouldn't have proficiency with the Moon Sickle, but it'd be nice to have something for Opp attacks that's also a spellcasting focus. Sentinel Shield would make sure I never get surprised. And finally Staff of the Woodlands seems almost broken. Enough said.
If you actually made it to the end, god bless you. Thanks in advanced for any advice!
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2023.05.31 06:19 legit-posts_1 Luz's crush blindness isn't THAT bad

Seeing as how Lumity is, for good reason, the most discussed aspect of the show, the subject of Luz being an idiot for not recognizing Amity's crush gets brought up a lot. Like "oh my god Luz she was dropping hints like crazy".
I just wanna say, I think Luz being slow on the uptake is perfectly understandable, for a couple reasons:
  1. It's pretty obvious from context clues that Luz doesn't really start falling for Amity in any romantic manner until around S2E2. That's when she blushes in front of Amity for the first time and you get that look on her face like "oh wow she really cares about me" when she defends her from the Abomitron thing. Any Lumity interaction from that point until Hooty plays match maker isn't really Luz being ignorant to Amity's feelings, as much as Luz being a huge dork who is scared to ask out her crush.
  2. Amity doesn't really start falling for Luz until a good deal into S1. Finding out when is kind of part of the fun of rewatching the series, but no matter when it happens she doesn't really show signs of liking her like that until after the Knee expedition episode. I'm cutting it off there cause it's only after this that Amity starts blushing alot around Luz, which brings me to my last point-
  3. Luz was trying really hard to befriend Amity through the first season of Owl House, so I think she was just relieved she got into "the freind zone" so to speak and wasn't paying attention to the hints. Especially since alot of these hints are more obvious from a third person point of view that anything. Like in heinsight the scene where Amity is all like "just cause she goes to school with you doesn't change anything" is so obvious, but Luz can easily think of that as Amity trying to shake off some residual bias and stuff like that. And once again Amity doesn't start obviously swooning until after the Grom, which is when the Gay Panic really escalates to a noticable degree. It's pretty clear that Amity finding out that Luz would have gone to the Grom with her if she asked really set her off, and once she is in full panic mode I will concede that Luz starts being oblivious.
Winging it like Witches is the only episode where Luz is genuinely really oblivious to Amity's crush, I mean "wow sports" is iconic for a reason. But even then Luz was super focused on helping out Willow so you can still give her a pass.
In conclusion: Luz Noceda: not as oblivios as her rep would lead you to believe, but still kinda oblivious.
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2023.05.31 06:14 neverdoityourself 1st time relatively successful roccbox pizza

1st time relatively successful roccbox pizza
burnt one side a little bit, but it was not a flop or loss at all. I used the Gozney guest pizza jew recipe with a poolish made with Sir Lancelot flour. For the dough I used King Arthur 00 flour. I started out making pizzas on an oven steel. This is much quicker. Both in preheating and cool time.
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2023.05.31 06:08 SoulOfCindr12 Hidden Gems(books like From the Ashes:A Cultivation Journey)

I recently finished reading From the Ashes:A Cultivation Journey and I thought it was pretty good. Unfortunately, it seems like there are some actual good books at the bottom of the Amazon kindle store algorithm but they are hard to find. Anyone know other good books like that one? I hope the author keeps writing the book, he said that there were more books in the works but idk if he’s just gonna give up bc of the low readership.
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2023.05.31 06:06 Blaise-It-Pascal The suffering of the Weasleys

I’ve been trying to write this for days but keep getting distracted and switching to other apps(thanks, ADHD), so Reddit refreshes and I lose the draft. Excuse the brevity.
No one ever talks about the suffering the Weasley family went through.
Whole family: cash poor, horrible reputation, overcrowded
Arthur: sole provider for a family of 9, coworkers look down on you, your job and reputation is the reason why your daughter was targeted, attacked by a dirty great snake, children constantly in danger and getting maimed.
Molly: S I X pregnancies, 1 with twins (!!!), surrounded by boys, brothers murdered, surrogate son in constant danger, children in constant danger and being maimed one by one, sole homemaker for family of 9, encountered a boggart that showed you all your children are dead, husband attacked and chance you’ll lose your income and will be the provider for your family despite no work experience.
Bill: irreparably maimed by a psycho werewolf, but you’re still hot af and your wife is smokin’, so you’re doing alright, tbh.
Charlie: your entire family is constantly getting into shit while you just want to vibe with your dragons, can they not read the room? (No, no they can’t)
Percy: feels intense pressure from older brothers to be as good as they are even though it comes easy to you, wants to support and look out for siblings even though they can’t stand you, suffers from being a pompous ass and number 1 Weasley fans want dead.
Fred & George: I will never be ready to talk about this.
Ron: nothing you do will ever best your brothers’ achievements, constantly in shadow of best friend, thinks other best friend doesn’t have feelings for you and so you pine for her for years, struck down during a fucking chess game at 12, have to shift rocks with an amnesiac narcissist for hours not knowing if your bff and sister are alive and well, leg broken and you find out your rat is a fucking weirdo, bff gets super famous and you feel jealous, in shadow of bff A G A I N, poisoned, hear love of your life tortured, see bff dead.
Ginny: fucking possessed, nothing comes close to this.
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2023.05.31 06:01 v9n1 Do you think Arthur deserves a happy life?

Arthur was a genocidal maniac in his past life.
Episode 53 tapas "For them":
"The first thing I had done when I was appointed king destroy that country. I bloodied my hands with the corpses of hundreds of thousands of soldiers and millions all together.“
He says "hundreds of thousands of soldiers" then he says "millions altogether" this is how many innocent citizens he killed. Just because he wanted Revenge for Headmaster Wilbeck, he killed these many people who had nothing to do with Wilbeck's death.
Even if Arthur changed, do you really think someone who has the blood of millions of innocents on his hands deserves a happy life?
Arthur is basically Hitler.
Would you forgive Hitler if he changed and started acting nice?
View Poll
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2023.05.31 06:00 tiabeanie homophobia compilation?

so aba and preach (who are also dicks btw) called ethan out on how he pretends to be an ally but is homophobic in the same breath, like always implying men are gay as a way to demean them
i also called this out a couple years ago in a comment, my first comment on reddit actually
pretty much any time he’s ever spoken about a man he doesn’t like, he’s most likely called him gay AT LEAST once or at the very least heavily implied it
i know he for sure did this with jordan peterson, joe rogan, fresh & fit, david dobrik, jason nash, steven crowder, andrew tate, adin ross… and i’m sure tons more, dunno who he’s been obsessing over lately
anyway, ethan acted like it was insane that they said that, i wish they compiled clips so he could’ve been confronted with it, there are literally years worth of it
so have any of y’all done that already?
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2023.05.31 05:55 Aggressive_Weird_891 Incels

So basically I realized the other day talking to a fellow ace friend that ppl could very easily mistake us for incels. This idea was really gross to me and I was thinking how incels are so obsessed with how they can’t get laid they make it their whole personality. I’ve had sex many a time and can say its not for me overall. I get urges and stuff but I can’t wrap my head around how it leads to such extreme misogyny. Also I think girls for the most part just assume I’m gay which used to bother me but I’d prefer that over incel 😂
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2023.05.31 05:47 fhfhdhdbryyesg Was this joke offensive?

I was on a college trip eith people i didn't know well. I am a lesbian but no one knew this on the trip. I didn't want people to be weirded out sharing a hotel room with me. The trip was pretty long so i thought it was safer to be quiet. Everyone around me thought my joke was very offensive and so did AITA but i disagree. Need more gays to settle the debate. So far only straight people have weighed in.
My roommate and I asked another classmate to help us move our beds. When we got to our hotel room our two beds were pushed together to create a single king bed. We needed help moving them. They were heavy.
For context of the gay joke. At the time there was a popular video with the description "whats the opposite of gaydar?" And showed to dudes in a hot tub as far apart from each other as possible and not interacting becuse they obviously didn't know each other while the camera man sang "two bros, chillin in a hot tub 10 feet apart cuz they're not gay". It was a funny video. As we pushed the beds apart I sang "two bros moving their beds 10 feet apart cuz they're not gay" to the same tune.
Our classmate immediately told me that it was so homophobic of me to say that. My roommate agreed and they both lectured me and I had to apologize. Personally I don't think it was offensive and that there was nothing wrong with the joke. But i keep getting out voted. Was it offensive? I thought that as a gay person I should know better but i guess maybe not.
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2023.05.31 05:45 drycherri i really hate being stealth

I’ve been transitioning for a couple of years now and the whole time I’ve always been open about being trans with basically everyone that I see more I than once. Partially for the reason that I don’t pass well and partially because it’s hard for me to not make a comment in someway relating to my transition every once and a while. Now I’ve been with my boyfriend for a couple months. His family is pretty conservative and already aren’t super stoked that he’s gay. So, we decided together that we just wouldn’t say anything about me being trans and that they would probably just assume I’m a cis guy.
This was my decision, because I know they would want to question me or make snide remarks and I don’t have to see them often anyways. I still just hate it. Everytime we see them I’m worried the whole time that they’re clocking me. Or that I’ll say something that will make them question my presumed cis-ness. I’m worried that I pass to some of them and not to others- because I only tend to pass 50/60% of the time anyways. It just makes seeing them so much more stressful than it already is.
Honestly kudos to guys that do this 24/7. This is on no way shitting on other people for being stealth, I can barely handle it for the occasional family function.
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2023.05.31 05:41 secretthrowawayy2023 The magic fades I suppose

To be honest I never expected a commitment from you on this whole situation even when you said something about looking for a job up here it made my heart skip just a bit on a hope and a prayer somehow we would be a real thing I know how I feel about you and what I want and I have grown a lot since this situation started and thank you for pointing out alot I need to work on still my life is a train wreck but damnit I wanted to sort it out with you I meant everything I said and I would have burned everything down to stand with you on the ashes I know you have alot going on and you feel how you feel and you can’t help that but after the first “we need to step back message” it felt weird and it wasn’t what it was before that firey passion and intensity it ahd me seconding guessing what to do and say and up until that point I was me to e most honest version of myself than I have ever been no shame fear or social norms I was purely me and I felt safe enough with you to do that and I wouldn’t trade anything we did or said or expressed I’m just so confused on how we went from that to this in just over a month it’s fucking crazy to me sometimes it’s just right person wrong time and none of it this is your fault you can’t help you feel it just is what it is
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2023.05.31 05:37 DoctorDisco007 I just spent the past 7 months watching all of AHS through for the first time! Here's how I rank the seasons (with long explanations)

  1. Hotel: This is the season that took me the longest to get through by far. I had a really hard time connecting with most of the characters, and found the plot to be totally all over the place. Jessica Lange's absence was really felt in this season, and John Lowe didn't get interesting for me as a protagonist until the last few episodes. Lady Gaga and Angela Bassett were great, and so was Denis O'Hare. Hotel had like 100 plotlines and I felt like it was both hard to follow and not super engaging.
  2. Double Feature: I totally get that this season was dealt a really bad hand by the pandemic. Its downfall is that neither half of it feels finished. I honestly would have been fine with a whole season of Red Tide or Death Valley, but having half of each leaves both feeling undercooked. Red Tide does horror better than a lot of seasons do, but its episodes tend to focus on the wrong characters and ideas. Finn Wittrock saves the season though. Death Valley could have been decent if given more breathing room. We hardly spend any time with the characters in the modern day, and the flashbacks feel like exposition for exposition's sake. Not connecting these aliens to those in Asylum was a mistake too. Both halves of Double Feature have a lot of missed potential, but at least they were enjoyable to binge through.
  3. Murder House: I'm gonna get people mad at me with this one for sure. From this point on the list, I think they're all strong seasons. But Murder House is really tonally jarring for me. All of the actors are playing up the melodrama to such a high level here that I can't take them seriously. It's not as campy as later seasons, but the growing pains of Ryan Murphy as a writer are on full display. I just don't like most of the characters either. Ben is hard to root for because he's such an ass, Tate and Violet are pretty insufferable, and Hayden gets old quick. I think Connie Britton is really excellent, but apart from her, this season doesn't do too much for me aside from some good scares here and there.
  4. Cult: This season tried something really different, and I have to give credit where credit's due. Like NYC, Cult goes for the "real" horror, just letting the audience watch how awful human beings can be to one another. Cult is politically charged but effective. I don't feel like it beats you over the head with the MAGA stuff, but draws enough parallels between Kai's cult and Trump's real life supporters to be chilling. Evan Peters and Sarah Paulson are really great in this season too, definitely some of their best performances. Billie Lourd is great, and just seeing everyone become slowly unhinged is quite scary. Having a lesbian couple front and center is important representation for me too, even if their relationship is insane.
  5. Apocalypse: A beautiful mess. This season is almost purely fanservice. After seven seasons though, I think that's deserved. Seeing all of the witches come back is pretty amazing, and I guess the return to Murder House is fine, although that episode didn't do too much for me outside of Jessica Lange coming back. Cody Fern makes a great villain as Michael Langdon, and I buy that it takes all of the witches to stop him. The first few episodes of the season are honestly still really intriguing even before the witches show up. I think the season just has an interesting view of what would happen in an Apocalypse. Having Stevie Nicks back for a cameo is a joy, and I feel like this is a proper last hurrah with the full original cast.
  6. NYC: So I just finished this one, and I'm conflicted. On the one hand, it's very very out of the ballpark of what American Horror Story typically is, but on the other hand most of it is excellent. So it lands in the middle for me. I'm a queer woman who wasn't around in the 1980s, but really enjoys learning about gay and lesbian history from that period, so getting a full season about the gay community in NYC is pretty awesome. Despite being newcomers, Russell Tovey and Joe Mantello are absolutely amazing. Gino and Patrick tracking down these killers makes for great TV. Mr Whitely is absolutely terrifying too, and seeing him get his comeuppance is well worth the wait. The looming dread of the audience but not the characters knowing that AIDS is coming is really well done. NYC just really loses me in the two part finale. Part one is too heavy and too real for me. This is what my queer elders endured and it is really painful to watch Patrick die like that. Part two just feels tacked on to me. I think the allegorical nature of Big Daddy only sort of works, and I don't think blurring the lines so much between reality and hallucination/allegory works in the season's favor.
  7. Coven: This season just gets to be fun! Every once in a while that's needed, especially because the previous two seasons had been comparably dark. Angela Bassett and Kathy Bates make exceptional debuts as Marie Laveau and Delphine LaLaurie, and Jessica Lange is great as Fiona. The stakes feel a lot smaller, and really it's just a bunch of witches being catty with each other. All of them have such strong personalities though that it makes for a great watch. Neither Kyle, the Axeman, nor Spaulding really worked for me though. Coven is best when it focuses on the women. I love Misty Day to pieces and her death broke my heart.
  8. Freak Show: Speaking of breaking hearts!! This season definitely has the best and deepest emotional journey in my opinion. I fell in love with my family of freaks, which made the last episodes absolutely gut wrenching. Dandy is a character that is almost too scary. Obviously I watch this show to get scared, but like episode 9 of NYC, Dandy is just too much at times. But he is an effective villain, and it makes the freaks even easier to root for. Having Evan Peters as a full on protagonist is one of this season's best strengths. Evan does a great job at playing crazy characters too, but he really anchors the cast as the hero. Neil Patrick Harris coming in at the end hurts the season overall, but when you have characters like Bette and Dot, Jimmy, Desiree, Ethel, Pepper, Eve, Penny, Suzi, and Ma Petite with you on screen it's perfect. The Pepper backstory episode is absolutely heartbreaking, Twisty makes a terrifying misunderstood villain, and I dig the modern music that gets used. And I love Elsa Mars so much. Definitely my favorite Jessica Lange performance after Sister Jude. She's kind of awful sure, but Elsa still has a lot of heart, and she clearly cares for the freaks. The whole season feels like Elsa and Jessica Lange's swansong, and it's perfect.
  9. Roanoke: I feel like this is going to make people mad too but I loved Roanoke! One of the most bingeable seasons for sure and it's so creative and meta too. Adina Porter is a real star, and so is Kathy Bates. This felt like proper AHS again after Hotel was so rocky. It's really scary, it does the slashing and the gore but also the suspense and mystery very well. The found footage works for me, and the ending with Lana Winters is great. There are some seasons that I love that I connect with really deeply like Freak Show, and there are some that are just really entertaining AHS that hits all the right buttons.
  10. 1984: That latter description is true of 1984 for me too. It's just fun! I absolutely adore the 80s setting and soundtrack, and the costumes are perfect. I love Montana so much! I want to be her and kiss her at the same time lol. Emma Roberts is so great, and so are John Carroll Lynch, Angelica Ross, Zach Villa, Leslie Grossman, and even Matthew Morrison! I feel like 1984 has a really tight and satisfying narrative, and takes some of the most successful themes and tropes of past AHS seasons to make the perfect one. It's another really bingeable one and just gets everything right.
  11. Asylum: Cliched answer, but it's that way for a reason. This season is soooo heavy though, I don't know if I'll be able to revisit it. Everybody in this cast gives an emmy winning performance, and there's really not a single weak link. This season is fucking terrifying, not just for the subject matter, but also for seeing the rawness of the emotions drawn out of every actor. Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters, Lily Rabe, Zachary Quinto, Joseph Fiennes, and James Cromwell just give out of this world performances. The desperation I had while watching to see if Lana and then Jude would make it out of Briarcliff was palpable. Then that last episode is just disgusting. Seeing the conditions in Briarcliff when Lana goes back for her expose is terrifying. The aliens, the angel of death, Anne Frank, santa claus, all these crazy things work really well too. The body horror and the psychological horror is peak AHS here, and so are the performances. Undoubtedly the best.
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2023.05.31 05:30 enragedswiftie "You're Losing Me" is unintentionally Taylor's most self-righteous, self-absorbed song yet

Spoiler warning for the song but I'm pretty sure we've all heard it already. This is my assessment of the lyrics to "You're Losing Me," which to me come across as borderline narcissistic, at best. I am not critiquing or reviewing the song as a song but rather construing its subtle implications.
Let me make this clear before the rest of this paragraph: I don't want to sound like someone who thinks all of Taylor's songs are about her relationships. They aren't. However, most are, and that's just a fact. In these songs, aside from the rare self-aware piece like "Back to December," we frequently see Taylor talking down on an ex, attempting to prove why she is right, or hurling backhanded comments that suggest she is better than her former partner. "Anti-Hero" was an amazing step forward for her, but other tracks on Midnights (i.e. "Bejeweled") reek of the impenetrable wall that is Taylor's self-righteous, sometimes entitled ego, first communicated on beloved and unbeloved tracks like "Picture to Burn," "Better Than Revenge," "I Forgot That You Existed," and "ME!" In all of these songs, we see Taylor either take a moral high ground in a relationship, whether justified or not, or quite frankly brag about herself. "You're Losing Me" does both of these things.
On first listen, "You're Losing Me" is a devastating ballad about a relationship that, no matter how many attempts, just cannot be saved (much like "Sad Beautiful Tragic"). A closer look, however, reveals some secrets that the subdued, discomforting production tries to disguise.
From the get-go, we've got the title implying that Taylor's partner is in the wrong. Perhaps it's a stylistic choice or for semi-shock value following her highly publicized breakup, but it very clearly demonstrates that Taylor attributes her breakup to her partner. I will now go through a section-by-section review of the song to further demonstrate my perspective on "You're Losing Me."
You say, "I don't understand," and I say, "I know you don't"
We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't
Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light
Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time
Here, Taylor makes no attempt to fix a problematic relationship. She plainly expects her relationship to pick itself back up again without actually doing any effort herself. She doesn't take the time to explain why she is dissatisfied in her relationship; instead, Taylor faults her now-ex for not understanding her. Taylor and her ex had a communication issue that would ultimately lead to their downfall. Taylor states that she "wondered if it's time," implying that she has stayed in a relationship that she feels will inevitably break down. She knows that she'll eventually breakup with her partner, and because she has thus far made no effort to either mend or end her relationship, she and her lover have been at a stalemate, until now.
Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?
I'm getting tired even for a phoenix
Always risin' from the ashes
Mendin' all her gashes
You might just have dealt the final blow
In the pre-chorus, we see Taylor's view of herself in the midst of a broken relationship. Taylor is a phoenix rising from the ashes. The next line, however, provides more insight. Taylor always "mends all her gashes"; she is able to deal with any problems that directly involve her. This is hardly unfamiliar to both Swifties and Taylor's critics, who frequently comment on her white feminism and apparent inability to comment on social issues that do not somehow involve her. In "You're Losing Me," Taylor makes it clear that this personal issue is also part of her relationships. She can fix herself, sure, but she is too "tired" to deal with issues outside herself, including her relationship with her partner.
We also see Taylor continue to question the state of her relationship, ending with an unclear statement that her lover has "dealt the final blow." This is another indication that Taylor has long been unhappy in her relationship, yet she has come to some sort of last straw, which we are not made aware of.
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore for you
'Cause you're losin' me
Placed over a melancholy tune, these lyrics clash with hidden resent. To reword the title in active voice, Taylor is leavin' him. What Taylor wants her partner to "stop" is again unclear, but she wants the listener to know that he did the damage and she didn't.
Echoed in "Anti-Hero," Taylor is the problem. The issue is that she herself is unwilling to accept this as her reality or even a possibility, so she deflects the cause of her failing relationship onto her lover. Expressed extravagantly as "my heart won't start anymore for you," Taylor no longer loves her partner for some unstated reason. Taylor is vaguely accusatory, but with lyrics these unspecific, it is difficult to sympathize or know if we even should.
Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes
How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?
I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick
My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick
If that first lyric in the second verse isn't a red flag, then I don't know what is. Taylor expects her partner to fully understand her, but she won't tell him her problems. Her now-ex can't tell she is "dying" because she doesn't tell him that she is dying. She further proves this in the very next line, claiming that she merely "sent signals" and expected him to read her mind. Taylor makes no mention of her partner's viewpoint except that he says he loves her, yet for some reason, Taylor is immediately doubtful that he is telling the truth.
And the air is thick with loss and indecision
I know my pain is such an imposition
Now, you're runnin' down the hallway
And you know what they all say
"You don't know what you got until it's gone"
Yet again, Taylor offers an unclear description of her problematic relationship, ending the second pre-chorus with an easy cliché. Perhaps she offers some slight self-awareness, calling her pain an "imposition," but why is she in pain? Is this pain resolvable? Is she actively trying to examine the cause of her pain so that she can get better, or is she wallowing in it? It seems the latter.
How long could we be a sad song
'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?
I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy
And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier
Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me
I'm the best thing at this party (You're losin' me)
Here begins the bridge, which eventually becomes a desperate, ranting, begging plea for her partner to save their relationship (we will get into that later). Taylor describes how over the course of her relationship, she has shown love to and made sacrifices for her partner. She presents her situation in a similar manner to her Evermore album track "Tolerate It"; she does everything for someone she loves, yet that person is indifferent. Unlike "Tolerate It," however, this is not the main topic of the song and rather feels like a bitter jab at her former love. Taylor then puts the narc in narcissist, describing herself as "the best thing at this party," which leaves the listener with little sympathy for her claims in the previous several lines.
And I wouldn't marry me either
A pathological people pleaser
Who only wanted you to see her
In the most unhinged lines in the song, Taylor finally alludes to one of the specific issues in her relationship. She suggests that her partner does not want to marry her, which of course could bring about the end of a relationship. However, we have no way of knowing if this was a main issue in their relationship or if it's just something Taylor is bringing up out of context to make herself sound better or to add shock value. Taylor next goes full-on "Anti-Hero," describing herself as a "pathological people pleaser," but she quickly overshadows this statement by saying that her partner does not understand her. As we have seen in the verses of the song, however, Taylor expects her partner to "see her" without Taylor actually revealing herself to him.
And I'm fadin', thinkin'
"Do something, babe, say something" (Say something)
"Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losin' me)
"Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing)
"To believe, unless you're choosin' me"
The end of the bridge gives the sharpest example of Taylor's toxicity. Taylor tells her partner to take action in their relationship because she is unwilling to do anything herself. To unfortunately quote, John Mayer, however, these lyrics feel like "cheap songwriting" and have little real emotion, or perhaps even meaning. She asks her partner to "do / say / lose / risk / choose" something, but what, and why does he have to do all of these things? Are these just random words placed before the word "something" that have no specific application to her relationship issues? Taylor then guilts her partner, stating she has nothing to believe unless he chooses her. This lyric feels conflicting; she wants him to choose her, yet the entire premise of the song is that she is currently unhappy and knows she wants to break up with him. So which is it? Does Taylor think she's better off alone, or will she die without her partner? Whichever makes her look better, I guess.
I am not attempting to speculate on Taylor's relationships, but this is a recurring theme that I have seen in her songs. "You're Losing Me" is a simple song that is lyrically loaded with emotions that Taylor doesn't know how to express in real life. It is a far cry from songs like "Breathe" and the more-recent "Afterglow," where she is willing to admit that she is wrong and desires to make things right, if she can.
"You're Losing Me" is written in a sad tone, but unlike her magnum opus breakup smash "All Too Well," she analyzes only her present feelings rather than reminiscing on the positive as well. She does not tell us the build-up, which leaves us with many questions left unanswered. As I have argued, perhaps this is because Taylor views herself too highly to be actually vulnerable.
In "All Too Well," we feel her pain. In "You're Losing Me," we feel the pain she put upon herself.
submitted by enragedswiftie to TaylorSwift [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 05:29 GorgeousSpoiledBrat AITA My brother mocking my driving skills

I, 19 years old female and my brother, 28 male had a huge argument. it all started when I asked my older brother to come along with me while I go get bread for our younger brother. My brother started mocking me saying that He would just like to stay at home while I go get the bread Alone! as if he was not trusting my driving skills. I just recently got my driving license and was not really good at it, however my brother was the closest to me and had supported me in everything I does so I thought he would not tease me like everyone in my family does. Talking and teasing about how my driving skills were not good is my sensitive topic which I always was able to reply sarcastically, but not to my brother.
I started getting angry and conscious of my actions while I drive to the bakery. He was helping me by telling how to move the steering wheel, howecer it seems more like he was panicking. Then, I started making all those mistakes like forgeting to look the otherside of the road, etc.... When I got to the bakery, he made a comment on how I was parking and it got me MAD. So, when I came back after buying bread, I went straight to the backseat and told him to drive the car instead of me. Then, he started accusing me of being very senaitive to him just 'teasing'. After that, he just sat in his seat and told me to drive and that he wasn't going to drive at all. After several minutes I decided to drive as the parking space for the bakery is too small and wouldn't want anyone to be inconvenient because of us. I continue to make mistakes and my brother tried to clam me down by telling me jokes and stuffs. ( Mind you the road that i drove on was HELLA busy!) so at this point his jokes just seemed to be annoying.
I finally meltdown when i was getting near the house, by letting the thoughts in my head take over ( the thoughts that i am a shitty driver and noone even my brother didn't feel safe coming along..) I parked my car at the side of the road as my eyes are starting to fill with tears. I asked my brother to drive and the argumwnt started agin.I started to address him directly which in our culture seemed rude howecer i could care less when he's behaving like this. Then, he started to yell at me saying that if I wasn't comfortable deriving with having him beside me he would just walk home. Then, he got off the car and walked home, leaving me alone. Then, I was so angry that I turned the car to go somewhere except home. My sister and mom phone me telling me to return later so I drove home. When i looked at the messages when i got home, my brother has messaged me saying that he was almost unconscious walking home in that heat and that told me that he could behave gay wprse than me as a.child and not to test his anger again.
P.S my brother was sick though.
submitted by GorgeousSpoiledBrat to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 05:28 whitecollarwelder Recs for trade names

Hey y’all!
I know this is a little random. I was going to post in the millwrights sub but thought this sub would take me a little more serious.
I’m a millwright that was just working at a coal burner on a steam unit for the last 8 months. While I was there I was feeding and making friends with a few of the plant strays. Just before I left one of them brought me her kittens! Obviously I had to take them. The plant said usually they have animal control come out and round them up so I couldn’t leave them.
I ended up taking them all the way back to New York since Texas didn’t have a single no kill shelter that would accept them. 2 days almost non stop driving and we’re all here and they’re all safe and healthy. Mama kitty is so sweet, like she knows I am helping her.
Anyway! I wanted to ask some fellow tradeswomen for recommendations on names. There’s four kittens total. One all grey, one all black, one tortie, and one full orange. The mama is a long haired tortie.
Give me your best goes at coal burnemillwright themed names! Here are some I’ve been debating.
Fly ash Hytorc Crescent (wrench) Coal Carbon
Tell me what ya got!
submitted by whitecollarwelder to BlueCollarWomen [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 05:26 Feed_Spare Babe wake up, the Russian masterplan just dropped

Babe wake up, the Russian masterplan just dropped submitted by Feed_Spare to NonCredibleDefense [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 05:24 SpawnyBoy Quotes in RDR1 or RDR2 that had a profound effect on you?

When Arthur said “John made it.”, My heart sank, having played the first game when it came out, the dramatic irony was just too much for me
submitted by SpawnyBoy to reddeadredemption [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 05:21 Suspicious-Lion9150 Little about my beliefs (correct if anything sounds wrong, or if you have a different View!)

Hello! Hope you all are having a good day! I just wanted to share some of my beliefs. Would love for your guys to do the Same. So I had an awakening about like 6 months ago id say. My dads side was Christian so I was raised and encouraged in that lifestyle same with my schools. Just never bit. Couple months ago that changed and now I’d say I’m Christian. Eventually I believe Jesus is the only way to heaven. God loves us, even though humans are DEEPLY flawed. Basic stuff right? I would say I’m non denominational. I think there is a lot to learn and love about all denominations. I think there is a lot of lines between Christians and LGBTQ I’m not part of that community but I don’t think we should turn them away from being Christian. I honestly believe that a gay person can be a good Christian. Not some crazy sex life style, but I believe if they truly love their spouse I think it’s okay. Of course there is divide there but I think Love and Lust have a BIG difference, and while you guys may think that doesn’t apply but I think it does. I get what the Bible says. I think it’s entirely possible is was mistranslated and maybe it’s being interpreted differently. even the word Homosexual wasn’t even invented till the 19th century (pretty sure) of course I guarantee people aren’t gonna agree. That’s totally fine I want to talk about it. Not to try to convince you otherwise, you guys are gonna have your opinions but I would like to have a calm and civil conversation not trying to bash each other. Everyone has different experiences and is having a battle inside their head. Hope you guys have a good rest of your day!
submitted by Suspicious-Lion9150 to Christianity [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 05:18 fhfhdhdbryyesg AITA for making a gay joke?

It bothers me because I feel like I did nothing wrong but I was forced to apologize at the time.
I was doing a college trip so I was staying in a hotel with my classmates. We were all friendly but I didn't consider any of them friends. My roommate and I asked another classmate to help us move our beds. When we got to our hotel room our two beds were pushed together to create a single king bed. We needed help moving them. They were heavy.
For context of the gay joke. At is a popular video with the description "whats the opposite of gaydar?" And showed to dudes in a hot tub as far apart from each other as possible while the camera man sang "two bros, chillin in a hot tub 10 feet apart cuz they're not gay". It was a funny video. As we pushed the beds apart I sang "two bros moving their beds 10 feet apart cuz they're not gay" to the same tune.
Our classmate immediately told me that it was so homophobic of me to say that. My roommate agreed and they both lectured me and I had to apologize. Personally I don't think it was offensive and that there was nothing wrong with the joke. I didn't say anything at the time but I am an in the closet lesbian. It always bothered me that I was forced to apologize. So reddit was I the asshole?
submitted by fhfhdhdbryyesg to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 05:15 Character_Wheel_7914 Being transgender is hard.

Hi! I am ftm (16). This is going to be somewhat of a vent post so.. I figured out I was trans mid 2021. I’ve been openly trans at school since and told my parents last year. Since my parents were mostly supportive, I thought that the only hard thing about being trans was the transphobic people I’d meet. I was wrong. The pain I feel when someone I’ve just met misgenders me because it means that I’m not passing enough, having to look at all my feminine features in the mirror, men’s clothes not fitting me well because I’m curvy. That’s not all, I am the only gay kid in my family. I know I’m not what my parents wanted me to be, I thought I was ok with that. However, realizing that everything I do just disappoints them hurts. I know my stepmom just thinks I’m a “confused girl”. I recently found out a guy who was into me isn’t gay and just likes masculine girls. When I told a guy this he told me it was normal because he liked my “female parts”. I feel like I can’t date girls because no one will see me as an actual boy, I feel like I can’t date gay guys because they won’t see me as an actual boy. I feel so trapped. Why can’t I just be a boy and not have to worry about all that? Being trans is so hard sometimes I just want to detransition to make everyone around me happier.
submitted by Character_Wheel_7914 to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.05.31 05:12 Mr_Kha My Gaydar and BL

I think, some other gays might know this: Whenever I go out, it can happen that I know exactly that a guy I just pass or sits near me etc. is gay. I do not spot every gay, for sure. But some. I then small talk a bit, maybe we even exchange numbers. I was in a resto, and on the table next to me was a young boy, and after seconds of eye contact I knew he is gay, and he knew I am...After some beer he even signaled me to follow him, while he was standing up and going to the toilet. LOL. I was with a business partner, so I did not dare to follow.
My gaydar is also okay with some actors, when I watch series. But, strangely, nothing when I watch BL. There are only a few actors, Fluke, Tigre (Tin Tem Jai), Gun, Postcard, where my gaydar is waiving.
Take the new hyper-couple Gemini and Fourth: Nothing. Zero. Neither of both give me any gay vibes. I assume therefore that in real life both are (so far) not gay. They are still young, a lot can happen, LOL.
How is it with others?
submitted by Mr_Kha to ThaiBL [link] [comments]