My employer told me 6 weeks ago they were going to put me on a PIP (performance improvement plan) and I am still waiting. I’ve followed up every 10 days or so and keep getting the same answer they are “working on it”. Not only is it stressful waiting for the ball to drop I could have been finished it by now if it was for 30 days. Advice on how to handle? What do I say when they finally give it to me? Should I consult a lawyer? Should I contact HR?

So I had another awful encounter with a locum pharmacist. So I (f23) used to be addicted to codeine. My usual pharmacist is absolutely amazing with me and treats me with so much respect and dignity- this locum pharmacist does not. I’ve had two run ins with her now.
First time was when I had to pick my buprenorphine up for the day. I have work at 9.30 but I get there ten mins early so I’m the first one then grab the bus quickly. It opens at 9.
My blue script at the moment is supervised meaning I have to take it in front of them in a private room and wait a couple minutes for it to dissolve a bit. This stops people from taking them out of their mouth and selling it. They do this but give me a couple of days worth to take home as well.
I was the first one in and she knew I was there. 15 mins go by and 3 people have already been served before me. She then starts making a cup of tea and asks if any of the other staff would like one.
At 20 minutes past I let the other staff members know I haven’t been served and need to get to work and she still takes an extra 10 minutes to give it to me and when she gave it to me she said ‘next time don’t come so early.’
I just walked out and didn’t say anything as It was all too stressful. I told my dad about it and he ended up going down to try and make a complaint.
She basically never said sorry and said that they’re really busy in the mornings. She didn’t give him any information to make a formal complaint.
I sent a complaint via email to the company that owns the pharmacy and didn’t hear back. I sent another email about 2 weeks later but still didn’t hear anything back so since then (about 3 months) it kinda drifted out of my mind.
Today the pharmacy was absolutely packed with about 10 people in a small space. Someone had been waiting there before me and he asked to talk to the pharmacist.
He basically had gone two places already and then to the doctors to pick up his daily diazepam which means he’s weaning off something. He explained all of this and she said ‘we don’t have the script here for you’ then walked off into her pharmacy room.
I was so annoyed. This man just needs a little care and compassion. He’s obviously very agitated as he’s in withdrawal. What she said was so rude and she didn’t even explain to him what he needed to do next to sort it.
Anyways she’s trying to take me in the private room so 10 people don’t see me taking the medication. There’s so much stigma already and a couple of times when I have done it not in the room I’ve had people call me a heroin addict and told me to go get a job etc. I hold a full time job.
Because the man was sort of in the way she decides to get the medication out in front of everyone to see and gives it to me. She doesn’t talk to me at all whilst giving it to me so I go to walk over by the chairs by the door to wait and because I was by the door she shouted in front of everyone ‘EXCUSE ME YOU NEED TO WAIT HERE FOR 10 MINUTES.’ I felt absolutely humiliated.
I have a support worker for drug dependency and she actually asked me at one point about all of this and she explained her and many other support workers hear that people on blue scripts are treated very badly- especially with locum pharmacists.
So I want to make an official complaint but I don’t want them ignoring me anymore. Is there anything I can do or say to make sure this complaint actually gets back to her? Or anyone else I can get in touch with?
Thank you

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Hi all, I had to come somewhere to vent but also please feel free to share your opinion on this situation.
I wanted to purchase a pair of shoes which were originally £12 okay and the only options for postage were Evri and InPost. I messaged yesterday (Wednesday) to ask whether they could ship it quite quickly if I buy as I need it by the Monday. I got a response today (Thursday) saying they can ship it today.
Although as it's now Thursday I'm wondering whether the 3-4 day delivery window would get it here in time so I ask whether they can make the Royal Mail delivery an option which they do but I notice it's only 2nd class. I ask is there any way she could make it first class and offered to cover the extra cost if she just increases the price of the shoes. I send her a screenshot of how much delivery is which is £4 something. She increases the price by £5 making it £17 but bear in mind I still have to pay for a royal mail label through Vinted which is like £3.49 - not her problem, I know.
I mention this to her though stating the delivery is costing me a fair bit now and ask if there's any way to remove postage. She says she doesn't know how which is fine, I couldn't find out how either. So I tell her to decrease it back to £12 and I'll just buy normally and accept the risk of not getting it by Monday.
When I go to buy it, the Royal Mail option is no longer available which I tell her, she then says "ohhh do you want Royal Mail" and goes on to explain that her mum has a business through Royal Mail and can send it first class but will increase the item by £3 for that making them £15 which is fine.
I accept and go to buy it but the Royal Mail option is still not there. I'm assuming she has done this on purpose so that I'm not basically pissing £3.49 down the drain on a 2nd class label she won't be using - it definitely came across this way when she acknowledged me saying the option is no longer there/needing to pay for an extra label, so I buy it selecting the cheapest postage available which is InPost.
I give her my address and everything so she can send it normally via the Post Office. She then turns and says she's going to send it via InPost because that's how Vinted will know she's shipped it so I'm like nooo please don't send via InPost, I only purchased these based on her saying she could send them first class. She explains that I could always lie later on and say it never got delivered which would mean she would lose out on the shoes and the money which I understand. I said okay I understand well let me re-buy them if you add the royal mail option back on then.
She explains she would've been able to send it first class if I'd selected the Royal Mail option but I said to her twice that the option wasn't there and she never thought to add the option back on so she ended up processing a refund/return and moments later tells me someone else has purchased them. I was pretty annoyed as the shoddy communication here but before any of you say it yes I also shouldn't have assumed so yes I'm a bit annoyed at the ENTIRE situation 😭 for the love of God someone please make me feel better.

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(follow blueskyinvites)
hey, I been maintaining this sub(4000+ members now) for a while and wanted to publish this common FAQs wrt invite which will help you with clarity.
Q. After logging to Bluesky, I am asked to get an invite. What does it mean?
A. Bluesky is an invite-only platform. At present there are over 1.5 million users on waiting list!!. Hence, inorder to use it, you should be invited by some other user on platform.
You could find some users running giveaways or offering invites on this sub, So make sure to be active here. check rules!
Q. How does an invite look like?
A. Invite is of the format "bsky-social-xxxxx-xxxxx"
Q. Where can i download Bluesky app?
A.
Official iOS : https://apps.apple.com/us/app/bluesky-social/id6444370199
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This has genuinely got to be the worst interview process I have ever been through, bit of a long one but will include a TL:DR at the bottom.
Coming from someone who has been through 30+ interview stages for graduate roles, I have never dealt with the level of disorganization and sheer lack of effort shown by the recruiters at TradingHub. They're a small FinTech company with a great salary offer and location I really wanted to be in, which is why I stuck it out so long, looking back I should've stopped putting up with their shit after the second or third interview. There were 5 of them.
I applied a few months ago, and got an automatic response with a hackerrank test shortly. Eager to speed up the process, I took the test on the same day, but didn't recieve a response until over a month later. I then had a call with the head of recruitment to "judge my suitability for the role", after 2 weeks of what I assume was carefully deliberating whether my skills and character matched the role, he set up another call with me and the head of businesss, which was another non-technical chat and basically a waste of my time. Both of these calls where nothing more than me hearing about how great the company was and barely any questions about my skills or experience.
After yet another week of silence I heard back to learn that I would be doing a pair programming interview next with a software engineer, finally, a real interview! To be fair to them this was the best interview stage by far and I did really enjoy it. It was fun to work with a real senior software engineer and learn a bit from him. Luckily (or so I thought) I ended up impressing him and progressing to the final interview stage after literally a MONTH of waiting. Please also note that the entire time I was emailing the head of recruitment who was supposed to be managing my process, who kept assuring me I'd find out next week and that they were just interviewing a lot of people. I told him I wished to progesss to the last stage as quickly as possible as I had exams just round the corner, but this didn't seem to speed things up at all.
I finally progressed to the last interview stage which was 2 weeks ago and right in the middle of my exams. I had a decent chat with a senior at the company who did ask some pretty good questions about my skills and experience, but after now emailing the head of recruitment twice without a response it appears I'm not recieving one at all. I was lucky enough to recieve an offer from a different company last week which I have since accepted, but to go through 5 interview stages over the course of 3 months to be ghosted at the last stage is beyond frustrating.
TL:DR - 5 interview stages, taking weeks or even months to reply inbetween stages and then ghosting right after the final interview.

Or at least I think it is.
Let me explain the scene verbatim. The heroes get caught in a storm where it forces you to deal with your inner conflicts to escape. You already lost me. Between this and the clock tree, Everafter is just an infinite resource of whatever the writers want to happen and they don’t have to explain a damn thing. “It’s a fairy tale.” Rubbish.
We have Jaune, Ruby, Weiss, and the worst character in one part of this mirage, while Blake and Yang are in the other. Before I get to the juicy bit, why are the former four (five if you count the jackelope) all together? Blake and Yang are together solving a problem between themselves. The four don’t get anything interesting, just a winding path with mirrors reflecting the past. Going by the logic of the storm, Jaune and Ruby should’ve been alone. As we see, they have hella demons and we could’ve had something interesting. This, of course, leaves Weiss all alone with all the nothing she’s got going on. But maybe this was a bad idea in the first place. Just, I don’t know, have organic dialogue?
Now the infamous Bloombleblug scene. I got so god damn mad at all of the non-subtlety in this scene I actually was shouting. Ask yourself: as a writer, how do you depict the metaphor of building a bridge between two people sort of too scared to truly start a relationship? If you answered “have them be swept up in a storm that transports them to another dimension and makes them literally build that bridge to each other,” I am going to end your life. No subtlety, no finesse, no artistry. It’s blunt force character building. This is the writing equivalent of hammering in a nail by crashing a fighter jet into it. Also how the scenery around them becomes more lively when they start being all uwu. Ugh, drivel.
You have no idea how happy I was when Ruby started blowing up on them. Peak fucking character, Ruby best girl.
Tl;dr rwby bad

Previous month
You don’t need to be a philosopher to realize how fickle and, er, earnings can be. This echoes with twice the strength in the case of affiliate marketing. Even as an isolated $$$ snapshot, hitting $2.6k is still money.

Quick stats

Month	Articles	Sessions	Earnings
Aug	24	123	$1.2
Sept	18	578	$27.14
Oct	5	2051	$255.2
Nov	5	5040	$570
Dec	0	8555	$745
Jan	2	14730	$1013.80
Feb	4	16198	$987
Mar	3	21590	$1146
Apr	5	26650	$1567
May	3	30507	$2614

Realistically, if I didn’t have some heavy-hitting returns and slow shipments, the site would be at $3k. The sharp increase is due to a temporary enrollment which boosts most of my niches.
It’ll end soon.
But anyways, man. Managed to score the highest-earning day I’ve had since looks at Excel tables...January 2018. Paid off my new smartphone (the last one’s motherboard suddenly died 1.5 years in, wtf!) in a single earnings day.
https://i.imgur.com/mTWERh9.jpg

The Salty Taste of Gentle Rejection

Previously, I've mentioned how I’d like to slowly shift to private affiliate offers. In other words, working directly with the brands – be it on their own sales channels/sites, or hitting $$ targets on retailers/platforms they’re present on.
In May I reached out to a brand I dig a lot. I own several of their products. They’re some crème de la crème shit, truly fantastic quality. They also have a trendy, engaging, creative online presence.
The peeps were friendly, but let me know I need to hit a bit more sales to work directly with them. They did dig what I do, though, so hey, at least there’s some consolation prize stuff going on.
I have a few semi-informative articles that I could tie into this particular brand; will give them a go later on. >.>

Google’s Puberty Tantrums Bloom Under the May Moon

There were three (!) Google algorithm shifts during May. One of them was more substantial, causing GSC to lag for 60+ hours. I saw some daily shifts, but nothing too serious.
I really think a lot of juststarter newbies are getting shafted with how Google behaves now. Things back in 2016-2020 really were more...dunno, more foreseeable in a way?
We had 2-4 more substantial updates and that was it. Some of them were ridiculous enough to be on the top of /all like this huge thread during the hilariously idiotic May 2020 update.
Going back to affiliate with this project, I now realize how much shit is happening on a frequent basis. Between PR, QC, the usual core updates, and such monthly fluctuations, it’s a pinball of a motherfucker.

Woe The Infoe

In early May I wrote an info article. 4 hours later it attracted its first comments; it has been gathering 40-60 organic visits/day. It’s probably the fastest-rising article I’ve had on this site yet and I can see it hitting 100/day soonish.
But man do I get BORED out of my mind writing info articles. B O R E D.
Unfortunately, I’ve had two duds among my other recent posts – the strictly affiliate ones. The articles are hitting the 100 visits/month threshold I consider alrighto for heavy buyer-intent articles. However, I thought they’d be at least in the 150-200 range.
(This matters a lot with some articles. To give you some perspective, the moment I hit 200 visits/month on one of my most aggressive posts, it started earning $180-200/month).

June's Perspectives

The temporary monetary boost will last through some parts of June. I expect to be around $2-2.5k until returning back to normal afterwards. You can never know how things go; it’s just a projection.
I’ll be happy if I write even one or two articles in June. Shit’s going to be battery-draining-levels of busy:
= 8 (!!) birthdays in my social circles.
= Preparing a short story for an initiative I was invited to: First time writing fiction in 4 years, it’s been ABOUT. FUCKING. TIME.
= Being a tour guide to my friend’s wife’s sister over mid-June.
= Gotta start another physiotherapy program for my hand.
Still, I’m gonna feel guilty if I don’t add at least something to the site. It’s like not doing your homework back in a way, right?

Song of the month

Dude, I got all nostalgic bout Enter Shikari. The boys still cook up great records, but those 2007-2012 releases were the sign of the times back then.
However, my best-best-best memory with them was the dusky, small concert hall being engulfed by "The Appeal & The Mindsweep Part I" intro a few years back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiuUUSEh5MA
Dismount - disembark - descend from your existence
Slacken your angst and decant your hate
'Cos in the long run they're about as useful
As pouring acid onto your dinner plate

Birmingham Fair's June 2023 Arts & Culture Round-Up!
A regular non-exhaustive snapshot of creative events we've found going on in Birmingham this month...
1
Soho House and Blakesley Hall Reopen with Blood & Fire: Our Journey Through Vanley Burke’s History Exhibition
FOKA WOLF: WHY ARE WE STUCK IN HOSPITAL? (The Exchange) until 17th
We Don't Settle: Poetry Jam Live! (Symphony Hall)
STARS - AN AFROFUTURIST SPACE ODYSSEY (Old Rep)
2
Digbeth First Friday (multiple venues)
Open Studios & The Growing Project Sale (Grand Union)
Sonic Signals and God-Pocket (Eastside Projects)
Nela Milic Wedding Bellas (Centrala)
Free Jazz Fridays: Daisy Houlder (Symphony Hall)
UK Games Expo (NEC) until 4th
Community Fun Day (Burbury Park, Newtown)
Midlands Air Festival (Ragley Hall) until 4th
3
Burger Fest (The Bond, Digbeth)
Fighting Spirit Film Festival (The Mockingbird)
Community Open Day (Lifford Reservoir)
Walkspace 23: Opening Night Party (Artefact, Stirchley)
Birmingham Art Zone: Art Festival (Gunmakers Arms)
4
MAC Arts Market (Midlands Arts Centre)
Highbury Hall Craft Fair
Still Walking: Relics of New Street
Dancing Out (Compton Verney, Warwick)
8
B-Side Hip-Hop Festival (multiple events) until 14th
Birmingham Design Festival (The Rep) until 9th
Fatt Butcher: Tw*ts (Old Joint Stock Theatre) until 10th
9
Fight the Power: How Hip Hop Changes The World Special Screening (Part of B-SIDE Hip-Hop Festival) (Birmingham Hippodrome)
Free Jazz Fridays: Maddy Coombs Trio (Symphony Hall)
10
Wolverhampton Pride
Balsall Heath Second Saturday (multiple events)
Zine-Making Workshop with Rachael House (Grand Union)
Birmingham’s Craft & Flea (Custard Factory)
Windrush Tapestry Project (Old Print Works)
BAR4BAR Cypher (Suki10C)
Supersonic Kids Gig: ICHI (Symphony Hall)
Growing Up Green Festival (Highbury Orchard)
Breakin', poppin', lockin' and Hip-Hop Battles: Prelims & Qualifiers (Part of B-SIDE Hip-Hop Festival) (Arcadian Car Park)
All Styles & Waacking Battles: Prelims & Qualifiers (Part of B-SIDE Hip-Hop Festival)
Frequency Summer Festival (Luna Springs)
50 Years of Hip-Hop Block Party (Thorp Street)
FLUXCON: 50 Years of Hip-Hop (Part of B-SIDE Hip-Hop Festival) (Birmingham Hippodrome)
Lark in the Park (Manor Farm Park, Northfield)
SPASMS AND SAVAGERY; 30 YEARS OF DOWNWARDS (Centrala)
Tin Tent Festival (Rock N Roll Brewhouse)
11
Dance Championship Finals (Part of B-SIDE Hip-Hop Festival) (Bullring)
Kings Heath Artisan Market (York Road)
12
Force of Nature Exhibition (Birmingham Botanical Gardens)
13
Collage Club Social (The Steam Room, Harborne)
Windrush Caribbean Film Festival: Young Soul Rebels + Shantaye’s World (Midland Arts Centre)
16
Craig Charles’ Funk and Soul House Party (The Mill)
Free Jazz Fridays: Cherise & University of Birmingham Jazz Orchestra (Symphony Hall)
Moseley Food Fest (The Village, Moseley)
17
Stirchley Community Market (Stirchley Baths)
Celebrating Sanctuary: Refugee Week Family Festival (Midlands Arts Centre)
Amok: Experimental Performance and Music (Artefact, Stirchley)
Pop Lovers Summer Outdoor Festival (Luna Springs)
Paperdolls Summer Market (Custard Factory) until 18th
Sinfonia of Birmingham in Barnt Green
18
Still Walking: 666 Places in Birmingham That You Shouldn’t Miss (Black Sabbath Bridge)
20
VERVE Open Door: Poetry Event for all (The Hive Cafe & Bakery)
Ex Cathedra’s Summer Music By Candlelight (St Paul’s Church) (until 21st)
22
First Songs in the Orchard... with B'Opera (Castle Bromwich Hall Gardens)
23
Hannah Sawtell: Useful Tools (Centrala)
24
Bournville Village Festival
Earth Markets (Martineau Gardens)
Congolese Independence Day Celebration 2023 (Midlands Arts Centre)
‘Parade – The Giant Wheel’ by Autin Dance Theatre (Walsall Arboretum)
25
Harborne Carnival
Vegan Market and Garden Party (Castle Bromwich Historic Gardens)
The Flapper Summer Market
26
Birmingham Settlement Neighbourhood Futures Festival 2023 (Edgbaston Reservoir) until 1st July
29
Birmingham Indian Film Festival 2023: New Brit-Asian Shorts (Midlands Arts Centre)
30
Friday Lates: Your City, Your Story (Wolverhampton Art Gallery)
Free Jazz Friday: Birmingham Jazz Orchestra (Symphony Hall)

I read one guy's post on why I'm not getting height results. I followed the rasen god method to the letter. I've been listening to subs around 1 year with no results but this time i gave 2 hours every day for 1 month. I even used the affirmations he used. He said in 2 1/2 weeks he grew at least an inch, by the halfway mark im same height so i went on yt and searched booster with the most views and listened for 10 minutes for the rest of the month. now 1 month later i have not grown a centimeter. I measured in the evening and i do 5 sets of stretches a day for flexibility. anyone have any advice or what im doing wrong? ;-;

Idk who needs to hear this, but here goes.
Scenario: You’re driving and you cross a bike trail. And you don’t have a stop sign, but the cyclist on the trail does have a stop sign on the trail. But you stop, in the middle of a busy road, to let the cyclist cross the trail. When you do this, you’re creating an annoying and confusing situation for the cyclist and for the people driving in the other direction on the road. You have the right of way, just keep going.
I swear to god I love living in this city. But sometimes people’s compulsive need to be nice even in the face of creating safety hazards really irks me. Just follow the traffic laws, they’re there for a reason.
This has happened to me as a cyclist like twice a week forever. And every time, instead of just slowing down a bit to let you pass I have to come to a complete halt, wait for people going the other direction to realize what’s happening and come to a stop. And it takes so much longer than if you had just kept driving.
Rant over, sorry.

1/2) Me and my wife have been together for four years, we just bought our house two years ago so with a way to save extra money(we could afford the bills on our own) we decided to let my little brother 21 male move in to our finished basement for 400 a month, he got the whole basement, which comes with a room, a living room, his own entryway and his own bathroom so he got a pretty good deal. But he’s constantly late paying rent and I have brought it up to him multiple times and he just doesn’t seem to get it. He also leaves lights on downstairs all the time again I brought it up to him. He doesn’t listen he’s my little brother I love him to death, but he’s still young and hasn’t matured and became responsible yet in my opinion. And yesterday he was late on rent again. And all the lights on again so my wife and hit the breaker switch for the light that leads downstairs (not his room). I woke up to eight text messages from him calling my wife a bitch saying he’s going to move out and a bunch of other stupid shit I don’t like people being mad at me but I’m also not gonna let people walk all over me. I love my brother to and I love my wife to death but there’s also a little twist to this my wife and my brother are one in the same. They get mad so fast and when they get mad, they say things and do things out of anger without thinking logically when they get mad, it’s impossible for them to comprehend and have, a grown-up conversation about the subject at hand. Every time I try to have a conversation with my wife and or my brother and ends up with me just shutting my mouth because I don’t want to argue with them. So now I feel like my wife and my brother have some tension between each other, and I will not be good when it goes off, I know as a husband it is my duty to stand by my wife, no matter what but some of the things she does I don’t agree with, and it causes more problems, but like I said, I can’t get through to her when she’s mad.
But wait, there’s more my older cousin who’s 30 years old married and has four kids who I am very very very close with cause me one day, crying on the phone because he has nowhere to live. He ask to move in and me being the nice guy I said yea now unlike my brother they pay their rent on time but they’re for kids are loud messy go in and out all the time and don’t accept the rules. I’ve had conversations with him about the kids and I’ve noticed they have been on their ass more but still we’re not used to for kids living in the house. On top of that he started up a lawn care company. I’m not one for clutter. I hate clutter, but he has cluttered up my lawn with so much stuff and again I brought it up to him nicely and he freaked out on me like my wife and my brother with their short temper, I feel like I can’t talk to anybody in my house without an argument happening or someone being pissed off. Too much tension in my house and it doesn’t feel like MY house anymore.
Please be straightforward and logical with the advice. Before you say “kick them out” I can’t bring myself to kick people out. I’m too nice of a guy.

It gets dark very early this time of year this far north.
By 4:00 PM, the sun is already set, and dusk is upon us. Definitely not the ideal conditions for a girl who looks as young as I do to be walking home alone. The route that I'd chosen from the Junior high school to the house was particularly off the beaten track and took me through several tranquil and deserted areas of town. No parent with even a shred of love in their heart for their child would allow them to make this walk at any time of year, let alone in the depths of winter.
It was just after I’d passed the cemetery and was about to turn onto the path through the woods that I became aware of his presence. At this point, he was what you would consider a safe distance behind me. I didn't want to turn around and look directly at him. Still, I could tell from the heavy footfall of his steps and the excited nature of his breathing that he was about 30 or 40 feet away. There were no other people around, and this road was a dead end with no houses on it, meaning that the chances of someone driving by were minimal. I was acutely aware that it was just him and me.
Despite many thoughts running through my mind at that moment, one above all was controlling me: 'if this situation is going to go down the way I think it will, I need to make a move right now.' I started to increase my pace, not so much that it would be immediately apparent, but enough that I would significantly increase the distance between him and me. Unless that is, he really was following me and altered his speed to keep up. Sure enough, within a couple of seconds, I sensed him breaking into a slow jog in order to catch up and close the distance between us.
'OK, Carmilla, time to make a choice: do I run or do I turn and confront this man?' I was right at the head of the woodland park at this point, so I decided to turn around.
"Hello, mister. Can I help you with something? Are you lost?"
I detected the slightest hint of surprise that I'd acted in this way. Still, he quickly regained his composure and continued his slow approach.
"Hey there, little girl. I was just out here looking for my dog. I think he went into these woods. Do you want to help me find him?" He was smiling at me now.
"What's your dog's name?" I asked.
"What?"
"Your dog's name. What is it? If I'm going to help you find him, I need to shout his name."
"Oh, erm… yeah. His name is Fred." Was he surprised by my question, or had he hesitated because he'd needed to make up a name?
"Well, I'm kind of scared of dogs. I think I'm just going to go home. Sorry I can't help you."
"Can I at least walk you home? Which way are you headed? It's dark out here and not safe for little girls like you."
He was edging ever closer to me now and had a big, creepy smile plastered across his face.
"I live just on the other side of these woods. Trust me, I can make it just fine."
"I'd still like to walk with you if that's OK. I mean, I'm sure my dog is in there somewhere." His icy blue eyes were laser-focused on mine now. It almost felt like he was trying to hypnotically control me with his gaze.
"If you really think Fido is in there, I guess you should look for him."
"Fido is a crazy old mutt," he said, "I'm sure I will find him in there."
There is no dog.
This man definitely means trouble.
Time to take action.
I turned and started running into the words. While I had a couple of seconds head start on him, the fact is that the body of a 13-year-old girl can't run as fast as a fully grown man. He caught up with me ridiculously fast, so quickly, in fact, that we were still within view of the road. The street lamp gave off enough light for us to be seen by a passerby if one were to approach.
"What did you run off for?" he asked, "I'm not going to hurt you."
"Sorry, mister, I just got scared at the thought of your dog running around in here. I got bitten by something pretty nasty when I was younger and the thought of it happening again freaks me out."
"OK, I understand. Let's keep walking, and I'll keep you safe from any stray dogs. Hey, are you hungry? I have some food I could share with you. Let's find a nice place to sit down and eat."
"What do you have?" I was kind of hungry, as it happened.
"Delicious homemade spaghetti and Bolognese sauce. Let's go a bit further into the woods, and then I'll share it with you."
He didn't have a bag with him, and there was no way he was hiding some container full of food in his pockets. This was bullshit.
"Erm, no thanks mister. My elders say I'm allergic to garlic, so I shouldn't eat Italian food."
"OK then. Let's just keep walking." His heart rate was increasing, and the adrenaline was kicking in. I could smell the excitement oozing from his pores. "Here, let me hold your hand. You will be safer that way."
He didn't wait for me to respond, grabbing my hand in his clammy grip. He was a strong one, it was apparent. There was no way a regular girl of my height and frame would be able to escape this bastard. We walked on and were soon far away from any streetlight, and any semblance of safety. Soon, things were going to take a turn very much for the worse. He clearly sensed this, too, letting go of my hand and standing in front of me to block the path.
The disingenuous smile had gone now: "OK little lady, fun time is over. Well, for you anyway. My fun is just about to begin." He withdrew a set of handcuffs from his pocket and dangled them in front of my face.
"I seriously fucking doubt that, Johnny."
This was the part that I always loved the most: the look of utter shock on these assholes' faces when I first call them by their name. I'd seen it dozens of times before, and it never grew old. Now, for the next part: he’ll be rocked back for a few seconds before trying to reassert his authority.
"Wait… what? How did you know…"
I didn't let him finish his question: "Johnny Mutton. Pedophile, rapist and child killer. We've been tracking you for a while." Damn, he looked stupid, still dangling those cuffs in front of him. "Guess what? We found you."
Just watching the cogs of a regular human's brain slowly turn was not my favorite part of this whole game, though. 'C'mon, work it out already. Then you can pretend it doesn't matter, that you’re the boss here, and we can get down to business.'
"Well, I don't give a fuck what you think you know." Oh good, the bravado had returned. It was always more fun when they still thought they had the upper hand. "I'm still going to torture you, rape you and then leave little pieces of you scattered all over this forest."
Again, with the dangling handcuffs. What was wrong with this shithead?
"Which hand should we start with? You want my left?"
The fucking shmuck had a look on his face like it was Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one. He advanced and roughly placed the handcuff around my left wrist.
"Things are going to get real ugly now, little lady." He was smirking; he genuinely believed he was still in control.
"At least we can agree on something. OK, jackass, let's get this over with."
I was going to make this quick. This piece of shit wasn't even worth toying with. I grabbed the other end of the cuffs and clasped it around his wrist; there was no way he was going to escape me now.
"What are you doing, kid? You think that's…"
I jumped up and sank my fangs deep into his neck. I would feast on him later, but for now, ripping out half of his jugular would lead to a suitably painful death. I climbed off of him and spat out the chunk of flesh onto the ground in front of him. In his shocked state, he actually bent down and tried to pick it up, as though that would fix his lethal wound. I wasn't going to allow this sick bastard even that tiny crumb of false hope, though, and dragged him away, into the middle of the clearing.
"Any last words, Johnny?"
This was a little cruel of me, what with the fact that this asshole was choking to death on his own blood. I didn't have much sympathy, though. He let out a pathetic gurgling sound, looking up at me pleadingly.
"Sorry, didn't catch that."
He was as white as a sheet now and not long for this world; time to monologue.
"You guys just don't put in the effort any more. I mean, for fuck's sake, I only got into town last night. I was obviously indisposed during the daylight hours, meaning I know you had zero time to prep this. Damn, I remember the old days when sick fucks like you would at least put in the effort. You know, a couple of weeks of following your victim, regular drive-bys, watching the home through binoculars, learning the names of friends. But you? You just spotted me and decided there and then to act on your impulses. Fucking pathetic. It didn't even occur to you how dumb it would be for a girl to be walking through the woods on her own? It took me less than two minutes to lure you in here."
His breathing was extremely labored now. He had moments left.
"OK, fair enough. Nobody expects one of our kind to look the way I do. But hey, like I said, you should've put in the legwork. Goodbye, Johnny."
And with that, I decided to feast. It always tastes better when they're still alive, even if only just.