Hi there, Reddit!
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I'm a 33-year-old American guy in London and I'm looking for some new friends to hang out with. I work in tech in the city and live in Earls Court but happy to travel given how good the transport links are where I live.
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I have a variety of interests that I'd love to share with others. I'm a big fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and I also enjoy watching geeky shows like Supernatural and Sherlock. As for sports, I'm a fan of NFL Football (Go 49ers!) and NCAA Football (Go Army!) and I guess a Chelsea fan just because of where I live (though I don't follow the Premier League at all). I'm also really into cocktails and enjoy trying out new recipes whenever I can. You may also find me around London's many dog-friendly places, as I have two dogs myself. Lastly, I love doing improv comedy and attending shows whenever possible.
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If you're also into any of these things and looking to make new friends in London, then I'd love to hear from you! Whether it's catching a game together, trying out a new cocktail bar, or just hanging out and watching some Marvel movies, I'm up for it.
​
So, if you're interested, feel free to shoot me a message or leave a comment below. Looking forward to chatting!

Good Friday evening to all of you here on StockMarketChat! I hope everyone on this sub made out pretty nicely in the market this week, and are ready for the new trading week, month and quarter ahead. :)
Here is everything you need to know to get you ready for the trading week beginning April 3rd, 2023.

Stocks close higher Friday, Nasdaq notches best quarter since 2020: Live updates - (Source)

Stocks rose Friday as Wall Street wrapped up a volatile, but winning quarter that saw more Federal Reserve rate tightening and a mini-financial panic spurred on by the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank.
The S&P 500 added 1.44% to close at 4,109.31, while the Nasdaq Composite advanced 1.74% to end at 12,221.91. The Dow Jones Industrial Average gained 415.12 points, or 1.26%, closing at 33,274.15.
The market got a boost Friday after the Fed’s preferred inflation gauge showed a cooler-than-expected increase in prices. The core Personal Consumption Expenditures index, which excludes energy and food costs, rose 0.3% in February, less than the 0.4% expected by economists polled by Dow Jones.
The S&P 500 and Nasdaq were up 7.03% and 16.77%, respectively, for the first quarter. It was the best quarter since 2020 for the tech-heavy Nasdaq. The Dow ended the period with a 0.38% increase.
For the month, the S&P 500 and Nasdaq have gained 3.51% and 6.69%, respectively. The Dow, meanwhile, advanced 1.89% to end March.
But it hasn’t been a smooth ride. Stocks mounted a comeback in the latter part of March after the month began with the failure of two regional banks, a forced-takeover of Credit Suisse and a flight of deposits from smaller institutions. The government’s backstop of the deposits of SVB, as well as Signature Bank, and the setup of a special lending facility for other banks, helped stem the crisis.
Primary credit lending totaled $88.2 billion while banks took out $64.4 billion through the Fed’s new Bank Term Funding Program, according to Fed data released Thursday that covered the period from March 22-29. That total of $152.6 billion was down slightly from $164 billion the week before and a further sign the crisis was stabilizing as the month comes to an end.
The SPDR Regional Banking ETF (KRE) closed about 1% higher on Friday, continuing its comeback from the contagion lows.
Tech stocks were the big winner this month as investors rotated out of financials. The Technology Select SPDR ETF (XLK) added roughly 10% in March.
The recent rally is “helping to confirm the market’s perception that the problems that brought the market to a crisis of confidence could very well be contained,” said Quincy Krosby, chief global strategist for LPL Financial.
“The semiconductors, [which] have come to be viewed as an important bellwether for global growth, delivered a strong performance,” she added.

This past week saw the following moves in the S&P:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL S&P TREE MAP FOR THE PAST WEEK!)

S&P Sectors for this past week:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE S&P SECTORS FOR THE PAST WEEK!)

Major Indices for this past week:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE MAJOR INDICES FOR THE PAST WEEK!)

Major Futures Markets as of Friday's close:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE MAJOR FUTURES INDICES AS OF FRIDAY!)

Economic Calendar for the Week Ahead:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL ECONOMIC CALENDAR FOR THE WEEK AHEAD!)

Percentage Changes for the Major Indices, WTD, MTD, QTD, YTD as of Friday's close:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

S&P Sectors for the Past Week:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Major Indices Pullback/Correction Levels as of Friday's close:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Major Indices Rally Levels as of Friday's close:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Most Anticipated Earnings Releases for this week:

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Here are the upcoming IPO's for this week:

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Friday's Stock Analyst Upgrades & Downgrades:

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

DJIA, S&P 500 & NASDAQ Higher 66.7% of the Time on First Trading Day of April

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According to the Stock Trader’s Almanac 2023, the first trading day of April is DJIA’s fourth weakest first trading day of all months based upon total points gained. However, looking back at the last 21 years, in the tables below, we can see DJIA, S&P 500 and NASDAQ have all advanced 66.7% of the time (up 14 of last 21) with average gains of 0.16%, 0.24%, and 0.26% respectively. The Russell 2000 is modestly softer, but it has still been up more frequently than down. Five declines in the last ten years (the largest in 2020) have weighed on performance.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

April 2023 Almanac: DJIA’s Top Month

April is the final month of the “Best Six Months” for DJIA and the S&P 500. The window for our seasonal MACD sell signal opens on April 3, the first trading day of the month this year. From our Seasonal MACD Buy Signal on October 4, 2022, through the close on March 27, DJIA was up 6.98% and S&P 500 is up 4.92%. This is below historical average performance largely due to persistent inflation, a tightening Fed, regional bank uncertainties and Russia’s ongoing invasion of Ukraine. But before the “Worst Months” arrive, April’s solid historical track record could help reignite the market.
April 1999 was the first month ever to gain 1000 DJIA points. However, from 2000 to 2005, “Tax” month was hit declining in four of six years. From 2006 through 2021, April was up sixteen years in a row with an average gain of 2.9% to reclaim its position as the best DJIA month since 1950. DJIA’s streak of April gains ended in 2022’s bear market. April is now the second-best month for S&P 500 and fourth best for NASDAQ (since 1971).

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Typical pre-election year strength does bolster April’s performance since 1950. April is DJIA’s best month in pre-election years (+3.9%), second best for S&P 500 (+3.5%) and third best for NASDAQ (+3.6%). Small caps measured by the Russell 2000 also perform well (+2.9%) with gains in eight of eleven pre-election year April’s since 1979. S&P 500’s and NASDAQ’s single losing pre-election year April was in 1987.

Here Come the April Flowers

It was anything but smooth, but stocks are set to begin 2023 with a solid start, with the S&P 500 up more than 5% for the year with one day to go in the first quarter. Although we continue to hear how bad things are, we’d like to note that these gains came on the heels of a 7.1% gain for stocks in the fourth quarter of 2022. Most investors probably have no idea stocks have done so well, given the barrage of negative news out there.
Here’s a chart we’ve shared a lot, but it is playing out nicely. If you look at a four-year Presidential cycle, we are in the midst of the strongest period for stocks. In fact, historically, the second quarter of a pre-election year is up a solid 4.8% on average and higher 72.2% of the time. Given the overall negative sentiment, an economy that continues to defy the skeptics, and this positive seasonality, we’d be open to a continuation of the rally off the October lows last year.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Take one more look at the above. Last quarter was higher, making that 18 out of 19 times that stocks gained in the first quarter of a pre-election year.
Turning to April, turns out stocks have historically been higher this month during a pre-election year an incredible 17 out of 18 times since 1950, with only a 1.2% drop back in 1987, the only blemish. As you can see below, only January has a higher average return during a pre-election year, which played out this year with a huge 6.2% gain in January 2023. Why is April usually strong? It could be a combination of springtime buying, good riddance to winter, or putting tax refunds to work. But the bottom line is that this is something we’d rather know than ignore.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

But it isn’t just pre-election years when April does well. Since 1950, it is the second-best month (only November is better); for the past 10 years, it ranks fourth, and for the past 20 years, it has been the best month of the year.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

The elephant in the room is that April last year was terrible, with the S&P 500 down 8.8%, for the worst April since 1970. Of course, back then, the start of the war, higher inflation fears, a Fed just starting to hike, and economic worries lead to the historic drop.
We remain overweight stocks and expect the lowered expectations amid a better economy to have the potential to drive higher stock prices in 2023, with gains that could reach between 12-15% this year.

Sentiment Still Bearish...Or Is It?

The S&P 500 has made a press back up towards the high end of the past month's range this week, but sentiment has yet to reflect the moves higher in price. The past several weeks have seen the AAII sentiment survey come in a relatively tight range between the high of 24.8% on March 9th and a low of 19.2% the following week. That is in spite of the recent updates to monetary policy and turbulence in the banking industry. Today's reading was smack dab in the middle of that recent range at 22.5%.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Given there have not been any major developments with regard to sentiment, the record streak of below-average (37.55%) bullish sentiment readings has grown to 71 weeks.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

While bullish sentiment was modestly higher this week rising 1.6 percentage points, bearish sentiment shed 3.3 percentage points to fall to 45.6%. That is only the lowest reading in three weeks as bearish sentiment has sat above 40% for all of March.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

The predominant sentiment reading continues to be bearish. The bull-bear spread has been negative for six weeks in a row following the end of the record streak of negative readings in the bull-bear spread in February.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Taking into account other sentiment surveys, the AAII reading stands out as far more pessimistic at the moment. In the chart below, we show the readings of the AAII bull-bear spread paired with the same spread in the Investors Intelligence survey and the NAAIM Exposure index. Whereas the latter two surveys have basically seen readings return back to their historical averages, the AAII survey sits 1.6 standard deviations below its historical average. In other words, overall sentiment might not be as pessimistic as the AAII survey would imply.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Claims Spend Another Week Below 200K

Initial jobless claims took a step higher this week rising by 7K to 198K. With last week's number also going unrevised, claims have now been below 200K for 10 of the last 11 weeks. That being said, this week's reading was the highest since the 212K print in the first week of March.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Before seasonal adjustment, claims were once again higher rising by over 10K week over week to 223K. Although that is not a concerningly high reading nor is it a large jump, the increase was peculiar in that it went against expected seasonal patterns. Prior to this year, jobless claims have only risen week over week in the current week of the year 16% of the time; the most recent instance prior to 2020 (right as claims surged at the onset of the pandemic) was in 2017.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Although initial jobless claims modestly deteriorated, it has not exactly been a worrying increase as claims remain at historically healthy levels. The same goes for continuing claims. This week saw continuing claims rise by a modest 4K to 1.689 million. That is only the highest level since the end of February when claims totaled over 1.7 million.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Short Interest Update

Although equities broadly are starting the new week higher, the most heavily shorted stocks are trading lower today. In the chart below, we show the relative strength of an index of the 100 most heavily shorted stocks versus the Russell 3,000 since January 2021 (the peak of the meme stock mania). Overall, the past couple of years since that period have consistently seen heavily shorted names underperform as seen through the downward trending line below. Although heavily shorted names saw some outperformance in January, they are making new lows.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

On Friday, the latest short interest data as of mid-March was released by FINRA. Overall, there has not been too much of a change in short interest levels with the average reading on short interest as a percentage of float of Russell 3,000 stocks rising by 5 bps since the start of the year to 5.8%.
Prior to the changes to industry classifications that went into effect one week ago, the formerly labeled "retailing" industry consistently held the highest levels of short interest. Now, it is the Consumer Discretionary Distribution and Retail industry in the top spot with an average short interest level of 12.7%. That is up from 12.5% coming into the year and is multiple percentage points higher than the two next highest industries: Pharmaceuticals, Biotechnology & Life Sciences (9.36%) and Autos (9.18%). In spite of the recent bank closures, the banking industry actually has the lowest average levels of short interest. That being said, the latest data as of March 15th would have only accounted for a few days following the collapse of SVB. As such, the next release scheduled for April 12th with end-of-month data will provide a better read on the recent banking trouble's impact on short interest levels.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

In the table below, we show the individual Russell 3,000 stocks with the highest levels of short interest as of the March 15th data. The sole two stocks with more than half of shares sold short are both Health Care names: Design Therapeutics (DSGN) and Allogene Therapeutics (ALLO). Both have seen short interest levels rise mid-single digits year to date. Other notables with high levels of short interest include some names that were briefly in vogue in recent years like Carvana (CVNA) and Beyond Meat (BYND). While short interest levels remain elevated, those are also two of the stocks listed below that have seen the largest declines in short interest this year which is likely due to solid appreciation in their stock prices. Only Marathon Digital (MARA) has seen a larger drop with its short interest level falling 11.4 percentage points since the end of last year after the stock more than doubled year to date. We would also note another crypto-related name, MicroStrategy (MSTR), is on the list and has been the second-best performer of the Russell 3,000 stocks with the highest short interest.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Commercial Bank Deposits Down a Record 3.33% YoY

The Federal Reserve's FRED data on commercial bank deposits was just updated through the week of 3/15. From the prior week, deposits fell roughly $100 billion, or about 0.56% from $17.6 trillion down to $17.5 trillion. A week-over-week decline of 0.56% is nothing out of the norm, although it was the biggest decline in percentage terms since last April when deposits fell 0.6% during the week of 4/20.
What is out of the norm is the drop we've seen in bank deposits over the last year. Prior to 2023, the largest year-over-year decline we'd ever seen in bank deposits was a 1.58% drop back in September 1994. That record drop was broken earlier this year when we got a reading of -1.61% during the week of 2/1. Since 2/1, the year-over-year decline has only gotten worse. As of the most recent week (3/15), the year-over-year decline stands at -3.33%.
Below is a chart showing the year-over-year change in commercial bank deposits using data from FRED. What stands out the most is not just that we're now at record YoY lows, but that it's coming after what had been record YoY increases in deposits. Remember, after COVID hit, the government deposited cash into the bank accounts of Americans multiple times.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Below is a look at the absolute level of commercial bank deposits over the years going back to 1974 when FRED's data begins. During the COVID recession from March through May 2020, bank deposits increased roughly $2 trillion. As you can see in the chart, we've never seen a spike anywhere near as large over such a short period of time. Notably, though, deposits kept on running higher for the next two years, rising another $2.8 trillion by the time they peaked at $18.16 trillion in mid-April 2022. That peak came a month after the Fed's first rate hike of the current tightening cycle, and since then we've seen deposits fall about $650 billion from their highs. Given how elevated deposits remain above pre-COVID levels, there's no reason to think they won't fall further unless banks really step up the interest they're paying on deposits given a Fed Funds rate of 5%.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

Pending Home Sales Better But Still Weak

As we noted on Twitter earlier, Pending Home Sales for the month of February came in better than expected, rising by 0.8% compared to forecasts for a 3.0% decline. Wednesday's report also marked the first string of back to back to back positive and better-than-expected readings since the second half of 2020. While the increases are welcomed, we would note that on a y/y basis, Pending Home Sales remain depressed. Relative to a year ago, February Pending Home sales declined 21.1% which is actually an improvement from late last year when they were down over 30% for three straight months.

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

A 20%+ y/y decline in Pending Home Sales is not unprecedented, but it isn't common either. Prior to the current period, the only other times they were down over 20% were in the early months of COVID and in a handful of other months during and immediately after the financial crisis. What has been unprecedented about the current period is the fact that Pending Home Sales has been down 20%+ for nine straight months! Going back to 2002, there was never another period where Pending Home Sales were down 20%+ or more for even three months let alone nine!

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

STOCK MARKET VIDEO: Stock Market Analysis Video for Week Ending March 31st, 2023

(CLICK HERE FOR THE YOUTUBE VIDEO!)

STOCK MARKET VIDEO: ShadowTrader Video Weekly 4/2/23

([CLICK HERE FOR THE YOUTUBE VIDEO!]())

(VIDEO NOT YET POSTED.)
Here are the most notable companies (tickers) reporting earnings in this upcoming trading week ahead-

($SAIC $CAG $LW $AYI $STZ $FLGC $MSM $OCX $DLO $RPM $LEVI $SMPL $LNN $APLD $SCHN $EGY $IONM $KRUS $GNLN $SGH $RELL $WDFC $FRLN $SNAX $ZENV $CLIR $RGP $SLP $SDRL $NG)

(CLICK HERE FOR NEXT WEEK'S MOST NOTABLE EARNINGS RELEASES!)

(CLICK HERE FOR NEXT WEEK'S HIGHEST VOLATILITY EARNINGS RELEASES!)

(CLICK HERE FOR MONDAY'S PRE-MARKET NOTABLE EARNINGS RELEASES!)

(CLICK HERE FOR THE MOST NOTABLE EARNINGS RELEASES FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS!)

(T.B.A. THIS WEEKEND.)

(T.B.A. THIS WEEKEND.) (T.B.A. THIS WEEKEND.).

(CLICK HERE FOR THE CHART!)

DISCUSS!

What are you all watching for in this upcoming trading week?

Join the Official Reddit Stock Market Chat Discord Server HERE!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and a great trading week ahead StockMarketChat. :)

Disclaimers

Disclaimer 1/3: I do not work for Ninja Kiwi. I cannot guarantee their thought process was the same as mine. This is the set of patterns I have picked up from a long amount of discussion among various other redditors (and time playing the game, of course). That said, I think my observations are pretty accurate, and they held up with the Beast Handler's category, so that's a good sign.
Disclaimer 2/3: Long post ahead! I'm going to be going over every tower in detail and discussing where they are in terms of what categories they are. It's going to be a wild ride, so strap in and keep your hands inside the ride at all times.
Disclaimer 3/3: If I missed anything, please let me know in the comments! I will be watching... occasionally... and updating my post if I agree that there was something I missed. I'm always looking to fine-tune my explanations, because goodness knows there's always someone out there thinking they've figured out tower categories for real, and I'm more than willing to defend Ninja Kiwi with my overly righteous contractually-obligated war shout.

A Brief Introduction

Hello there! If you've clicked on this post, you're probably interested in learning yet another internet stranger's opinions on tower categories. Or perhaps you're just looking for someone to pelt with tomatoes. Regardless, as opinions go, mine is pretty vanilla; every tower is in exactly the right category.
Before you start throwing pitchforks and torches at me, and even before you start throwing roses and money at me, please finish reading the post. I'm going to explain my reasons behind every single tower and why it belongs where it belongs, one by one, starting with a more general explanation. If you want the short version, just read the next heading. If you want the long version, read the next heading below that. And if you want permission to comment, I can't stop you, but consider reading the entire post so you can tell me all the ways I'm wrong instead of missing a few. If nothing else, please read the Frequently Asked Questions heading near the bottom of the post.
With that out of the way, let's swiftly move on to what you're all here for.

The Basics of the Tower Categories

My system for determining tower categories is fairly simple. I don't call it anything, but if you'd like, you can call it the Rule of Two. Each tower category has two (that's the Two) conditions (that's the Rule) that make a tower a good fit for that tower category. One of these conditions is an obvious one for the category (usually based in narrative), while the other is a less obvious one (usually based in gameplay). If a tower meets both conditions, it is very likely to match the category. If a tower only meets one condition, it usually binds to that category provided that it doesn't meet both conditions of a different category. I will start by listing the conditions, then I will go into more detail for each.
The conditions for a Primary tower are as follows:

1. The tower was featured in one of the first three BTD games.
2. The tower is a standard element in most tower defenses.

Condition 1 is simple. If the tower was featured in one of the original three games, it's very likely to end up in Primary. Condition 2 is a bit more complex: the standard elements that are commonly found in most tower defense games fall into this list: simple single-shot tower, radial burst tower, splash damage tower, and slowing tower. Not all tower defense games have these, but most have some combination of these.
The conditions for a Military tower are as follows:

1. The tower has a military appearance, usually including either a helmet or an officer cap.
2. The tower has abilities that make it usable on terrain where other towers are useless.

Condition 1 is the most important condition for Military, although not all towers in it meet this condition at base tier. Condition 2 covers a variety of cases, including infinite range, flight, and being placed on water. Any one of these will meet condition 2.
The conditions for a Magic tower are as follows:

1. The tower has some sort of unnatural abilities.
2. The tower starts with abilities usually reserved for upgrades.

Condition 1 is a bit broad. It covers basic magic (e.g. druids and wizards), alchemy (e.g. the alchemist), supernatural prowess (e.g. the super monkey), and magical arts that don't fall under the general umbrella of "fantasy" magic (e.g. the ninja - more on that later).
Condition 2 is also rather broad. Shooting through cover, naturally popping Lead, naturally detecting camo, and even just having high attack speed all qualify a tower for Condition 2. This includes some explosive towers, most of which aren't Magic, but those towers are comfortable enough in their positions that this is not an issue.
Lastly, the conditions for a Support tower are as follows:

1. The tower is not a Monkey.
2. Most of the damage dealt by the tower is dealt by summoned objects rather than directly by the tower. (Towers that deal no damage meet this category by default.)

The very first thing you'll notice is that there is a lot less overlap in these two conditions simply because nearly half the category is monkeys now. However, these conditions are sound regardless. Condition 1 is self explanatory. Condition 2 counts spikes, sentries, traps, cleansing foam, and the Beast Handler's beasts as summoned objects.
With the conditions out of the way, there's one more thing to address before we move on to the individual monkeys. Upgrade paths are what make each tower interesting to use. However, each upgrade path is at most 1/3 of a whole tower. Although the Alchemist is most often used for supportive capabilities in Permanent Brew, that alone is not good enough of a reason to move it to Support, even barring the conditions I've already established. When considering upgrade paths, I try to consider them either as a whole or not at all.

The Details of Each Tower

This section is dedicated to going through each tower individually and determining which conditions they meet. Note that most towers will meet the conditions for more than one tower category - from there, it comes down to my own best judgement (and a side of quantity met.) Some conditions met will be tagged (dubious); this is an indication I consider that the condition is subjective on a level higher than usual.
Dart Monkey Conditions met: P1, P2 Notes: If ever there was a Monkey whose position couldn't be argued, it would be the Dart Monkey. I don't think this is a controversial decision.
Boomerang Monkey Conditions met: P2 Notes: Boomerang is the only primary tower not to meet Primary condition one. But it also doesn't meet any other conditions, so I think it's safe in Primary.
Bomb Shooter Conditions met: P1, P2, Mi1 (dubious), Ma2, S1 Notes: There are a few towers like the Bomb Shooter that have matches in most (if not all) categories. However, there's always one that shines above the rest as an obvious choice.
Tack Shooter Conditions met: P1, P2, S1 Notes: Not much to say about the Tack Shooter, other than that it's the second-best tower in the game.
Ice Monkey Conditions met: P1, P2, Ma1 Notes: Our first controversial tower! The Ice Monkey's apparent magical abilities have led many to claim it should have ended up in magic. In this case, however, Primary wins by sheer quantity.
Glue Gunner Conditions met: P1 (dubious), P2, S2 (dubious) Notes: Straight into another controversial pick. A majority of the Glue Gunner's upgrades don't deal damage, and although the glue itself was present in BTD2 and BTD3, the monkey firing it was not. However, as a whole, two of Glue Gunner's three upgrade paths have an upgrade that deals damage to Bloons, making its inclusion in Support via condition 2 dubious. Primary condition 2 solidly wins this for Primary by stability alone.
Sniper Monkey Conditions met: Mi1, Mi2, Ma2 Notes: Sniper Monkey meets Magic condition 2 because it can pop multiple layers with one shot at base tier without DoT effects - a power exclusive to the sniper.
Monkey Sub Conditions met: Mi1, Mi2, Ma2 (dubious) Notes: Sub meets Magic condition 2 because it has homing shots - this seems a bit less clear-cut for meeting condition 2 than the sniper's layers, however.
Monkey Buccaneer Conditions met: Mi2 Notes: Another slightly controversial choice for not fitting into Military at base level - sometime recommended for Primary, but it doesn't meet the right conditions for it. It gets partial credit on Military condition 1 for its 3+xx and xx4+ designs, which look modern enough to fit in with Military. Why does it get partial credit for these paths when other paths don't get this credit? The key is that there are two paths, a majority, which match the condition. Partial credit doesn't count for anything anyway, but I wanted to point it out.
Monkey Ace Conditions met: Mi1, Mi2 Notes: Really, most of the military category is pretty boring - it meets the conditions required for Military and then goes no further.
Heli Pilot Conditions met: Mi1, Mi2 Notes: But just wait until we get into Magic. You get to hear be absolutely dig into the people who claim the Ninja should be Primary.
Mortar Monkey Conditions met: Mi1, Mi2, Ma2 Notes: The Mortar Monkey meets Magic condition 2 because it can natively pop leads.
Dartling Gunner Conditions met: Mi1, Mi2 Notes: (THIS SPACE FOR RENT)
Wizard Monkey Conditions met: Ma1 Notes: The Wizard Monkey is one of two Magic monkeys not to meet Condition 2 for Magic. Luckily, it's the most solidly rooted in magic, the Druid just barely behind it.
Super Monkey Conditions met: P1, Ma1, Ma2 (dubious) Notes: People really love to put Super Monkey in Primary for some reason. And, to be fair, he DOES meet condition 1. But, ultimately, Magic just barely ekes out a victory against Primary with a dubious second condition, and Primary Expertise enjoyers across the world sigh in frustration that they can't be even more overpowered.
Ninja Monkey Conditions met: Ma1 (dubious even though it really shouldn't be), Ma2 Notes: "Ninja Monkey should be in Primary" will never not make me blow my stack. It doesn't even have the argument of "it was in BTD1" to back it up. The only thing it seems like people use to argue the point is that the Ninja Monkey doesn't use magic, as if inherent camo sight isn't the most magical thing you've ever seen! Even besides that, ninjas' arts may not be magic of the western fashion, but eastern magicks are just as valid, wouldn't you say?
Alchemist Conditions met: Ma1, Ma2 Notes: There is some support for putting Alchemist in support because top path is a buffing path. But, middle path is a Plasma Monkey Fan Club path and bottom path is an over-optimized Sniper, so it's got plenty of unique elements on each of its paths - I dare say that's rather the point of it. So in Magic it stays.
Druid Conditions met: Ma1 Notes: Like the Monkey Wizard, the Druid doesn't need condition 2 to cement its place in the Magic category.
Banana Farm Conditions met: S1, S2 Notes: The standard support tower. Not much to say about this one.
Spactory Conditions met: P1 (dubious), Ma2, S1, S2 Notes: The Spactory only meets Primary condition 1 if you consider it to fall under "road spikes" in the same way the Glue Gunner falls under "monkey glue." It gets Magic condition 2 because it can shoot over cover. The spikes also hit camo natively, but that's a bit dubious on account of them being road items.
Monkey Village Conditions met: P1 (dubious), S1, S2 Notes: The Monkey Beacon, which appeared in BTD3, has the same function as the Monkey Village. If you consider that enough to count as meeting P1, it does - but it's about as dubious as the Spactory.
Monkey Engineer Conditions met: P2 Notes: The Engineer is the loosest-hanging of the Support category, even including the Beast Handler. However, since all of its paths deploy spawns of a sort (sentries, foam, traps) it fits well into Support regardless.
Beast Handler Conditions met: Ma1 (dubious), P2 Notes: Although there could be a case made that the Beast Handler's chosen way of handling beasts is supernatural in nature, it's not as though training animals is something reserved for magic. Now, if the animals themselves were magical, that would be a different story - but they seem to be normal animals. Well, "normal," anyway.

Bonus Round: Heroes

A common question I'm asked is how the heroes factor into this system. My immediate answer is "heroes don't have defined categories," but with that in mind each hero does actually fit well into the four-category scheme, provided we make some adjustments to the Primary and Support categories, to offset the fact that a) heroes don't exist in BTD1-3 and b) heroes are always Monkeys (so far). The new categories are as follows.
Primary:

1. The hero is unlocked without spending Monkey Money.
2. The hero doesn't meet Condition 1 for any other category.

Support:

1. Most of the damage dealt by the hero is dealt by summoned objects rather than directly by the hero. (And again, heroes that don't deal damage qualify by default.)
2. The hero can apply a buff to any tower type.

Note that the second condition for Support excludes Striker Jones and Obyn Greenfoot, because they can only buff specific tower types - but not Ezili, because although she only buffs Necromancers with her passive abilities, her Sacrificial Totem can buff any tower.
With that out of the way, let's move on to the heroes.
Quincy Conditions met: P1,P2 Verdict: Primary Notes: Hopefully not too controversial of a pick.
Gwendolin Conditions met: P1, P2, Ma2, S2 Verdict: Primary Notes: Although Gwendolin's fire could be seen as unnatural, her stylistic appearance (not to mention her cosmetics) suggest the fire is a result of science rather than magic.
Striker Jones Conditions met: P1, Mi1, Ma2 Verdict: Military Notes: In this case, Military's condition 1 beats out Primary's condition 1. Magic's condition 2 is slightly dulled because Jones deals with explosions, which are more common outside of Magic than inside of Magic.
Obyn Greenfoot Conditions met: P1, Ma1, Ma2 Verdict: Magic Notes: The druid king sticks with his people.
Captain Churchill Conditions met: M1, Ma2 Verdict: Military Notes: Considering he's a literal tank...
Benjamin Conditions met: S1, S2 Verdict: Support Notes: Player 3 incarnate matches with the banana farms. Whodathunkit?
Ezili Conditions met: Ma1, Ma2, S2 Verdict: Magic Notes: With both leadpoppery and camo detection, Ezili is Magic incarnate.
Pat Fusty Conditions met: P1 (dubious), Ma1 (dubious), Ma2 Verdict: Primary OR Magic Notes: The only hero to not fit precisely into one category. If Pat's large size is a result of unnatural properties, he meets Magic 1 and Magic 2 (he can pop Leads at level one) and falls into Magic. But if his large size is natural, he meets Primary 1 and Magic 2, and Primary 1 beats out Magic 2, sending him into Primary. This makes him the only here that I can't give a verdict on either way without knowing more (although personally, I lean Magic).
Adora Conditions met: Ma1, Ma2 Verdict: Magic Notes: Considering she's a priestess of the Sun God, is it that surprising?
Admiral Brickell Conditions met: Mi1, Mi2, S1 Verdict: Military Notes: Although Brickell's mines cause her to take on a role similar to a support tower, meeting both Military conditions maintains her position there.
Etienne Conditions met: Mi1 (dubious), Mi2, S1, S2 Verdict: Support Notes: Etienne himself doesn't take on the appearance of military personnel, in my opinion - but there are many varying opinions on this. Thankfully, Word of Kiwi backs me up here.
Sauda Conditions met: Ma1 (dubious), Ma2 Verdict: Magic Notes: Same as the Ninja, I don't understand the insistence Sauda belongs in Primary. And, thankfully, I again have Word of Kiwi backing up my choice.
Psi Conditions met: Mi2, Ma1, Ma2 Verdict: Magic Notes: Psionic powers are a type of magic not often bundled with other magic, but I think it counts just as much as ninja arts do.
Geraldo Conditions met: Ma1 (dubious), S1, S2 Verdict: Support Notes: With all the summons and buffs given by Geraldo, I don't think he could be anything but support.

Frequently Asked Questions

Now that we've gone over all the towers (and heroes, for fun), I'm going to address a few frequently asked questions. If a question is asked enough in the comments, I may add it here.
Why isn't Military condition 2 just infinite range, since the Aircraft Carrier and Advanced Intel options are available for the Buccaneer and Sub?
Remember that when considering upgrades I try to consider all of them or none of them, with minimal exceptions. Each of these "infinite range" upgrades is limited to one path, and for the Buccaneer it's a tier 4 upgrade which makes it worse.
Why aren't buffs a consideration for Support?
Quite a few towers provide buffs as a part of their benefits, whether to themselves or other towers. And, perhaps more importantly, many towers in support do not provide buffs! Only the Village, Engineer, and Banana Farm provide buffs, and the latter two only provide said buffs on a few of their upgrade paths.

Conclusion

If you've read all the way to here, that's all I have to say. Thank you for taking the time to read my miscellaneous musings on towers. If you skipped most of this, thank you anyway, because I know this is a very long post. I hope you found this enlightening and I hope you never insist Ninja should be primary again.

The armourer’s identity has always been a mystery. She has never removed her helmet on screen. However, there’s a couple of details that point to her being one of Maul’s supporters. The most obvious detail is the horns on her helmet, possibly showing her loyalty to the horn-headed zabrak. Also, a detail that was harder to see, during the scene where the armourer is crafting Grogu’s armour in S3 E4, as the camera pans over the liquid beskar, Maul’s face briefly appears in it. This could be another clue to her identity. If she turns out to be a Maul supporter, who could it be?

Trying to track down a book I read as a kid in the 1970s. The cover had a picture of a girl dressed in a parka against a backdrop of snow. It was set in upstate NY and had a sort of mystery I think involving some guys who had escaped from prison during the winter. Two girls were just becoming friends, one was white and one was Native American, and there was description of the Native American girl and her family working on some traditional crafts. The girl is working on a metal work thing where she took a can and pierced it in a pattern.
They get snowed in at her house and the escaped convicts show up and hold the family prisoner. I don't remember how they manage to capture the bad guys, just that the white girl winds up with a great appreciation of the Oneidan (?) culture and the girls become great friends.

hiii there :)
i’ve been feelin not-so-good lately and would like some good vibes!!
not looking to share or get deep hahah, i just need some positivity rn :)
pls gimme all the attention + affection + wholesome energy!! (i will reciprocate :p)
looking for golden retriever energy <3
fine w short term or long term chats! tell me about your day, what you’re currently binge watching, or what you’re cooking for dinner! let’s make each other feel warm!! :))
here are a few of my current fixations: - clothing/fashion (trying to spice up my closet; happy to send fit checks!) - cooking!! <3 - pianoooo (v therapeutic for me, def not a pro lol)
pls introduce yourself - how old are you? where are u from? no low effort messages please. would prefer to trade face pics, but not a requirement though :)
i’m super chill and down for anything!! ;) lemme learn more about you!!

Time for everyone’s favorite chapter, the exposition chapter yayyyy!
Memory transcript subject: Tailhitch autobot infantry
Date [standardized human time] September 27th 2136
The confusion I felt must’ve been very evident on my face despite my mask covering half of it because as I was stuck staring at the small alien it spoke again “are…y-you going to hurt me..? Wh-what are you..?” It was shaking so badly I honestly thought it was going to fall apart. I needed to make myself a look lot less threatening than I did. Slowly I sat down on the ground in front of the gojid. That helped a bit I think because the shaking wasn’t as bad as it was while I was standing.
“Alright” I said “let’s run through all of your questions and then I’m going to ask you some questions of my own alright?” The gojid nodded ever so slightly before sitting down as well. “My name is Tailhitch, no I’m not a predator, I’m not going to eat you, I’m not going to hurt you, and I am an autonomous robotic organism known as a cybertronian. Again unless there’s a race of sentient fuel out there I’m not gonna be eating anyone got all that?” The gojid nodded again but a lot less nervously this time around. “Now I’m going to ask you a few questions of my own can you answer them for me?” Another nod, good I was getting somewhere with this little alien. “Where are we? What are you? What’s your name? What was that lizard trying to do? Why are there dead humans on the ground?”
The gojid fiddled with its claws a bit before answering my questions. “We’re on the cradle, I’m-I’m a gojid, my name is crejic…the axur was..was going to take me as cattle to eat or…or…” crejic broke down in tears and I felt my spark ache for the little flesh bag. As gently as I could I scooped him up in my servos cradling him before standing up. “T-thank you Tailhitch thank you thank you thank you…” good he seemed to be getting a hold of himself a bit.
“Don’t mention it, I know how terrifying the prospect of slavery is. Believe me. I know. Now about the humans, why are they here?” I started to walk as I spoke still carrying the spiny little guy knowing my more heavily armored body would be better at stopping any weapons sent our way. He didn’t answer for a minute, if I had to guess he was still trying to collect himself before he sighed and started speaking again.
“The predators came to the galactic stage talking about peace and friendship but then they invaded us. I remember vaguely hearing something about one of our naval captains holding one of them prisoner and this is retribution but they never attacked any civilians or acted like the axur. They were fighting the axur to defend us. At least that’s what the group I ran into said before they were killed…” wow, that was some information that got dropped on me, wait a second. I stopped walking and looked at my new companion.
“Did you say that this is the first time humans have interacted with any race outside their own?” Another small nod “and you don’t know what a cybertronian is…” this time a shake of the head “oh no oh no no no no no..do you know anywhere that might have a map of the galaxy or anything?” He pointed to what I think was a wrecked storefront. “Ok crejic I’m gonna set you down I need you to go in there and find me a map of the galaxy can you do that for me?”
“What about you? You’re too big to go inside” I chuckled a bit before redeploying my blaster out of my right arm and pointing to the underslung det-charge launcher under the barrel.
“I’ll stay out here and keep watch, if any axur show up I’ll make sure they know not to mess with an angry cybertronian, and if any humans show up well that might be our ticket out of here now get going” he nodded and ran inside leaving me alone with my thoughts again. And in this quiet I began to consider the possibilities. Namely that I might not be in my own universe anymore. Now this wasn’t out of the realm of possibility, I mean there was that one incident with the talking horses. They were nice. Focus Tailhitch you’re possibly in a different universe with no way of contacting the others, and completely isolated what would Optimus do? an explosion in the distance snapped me into focus allowing my mind to answer much faster he would do everything he could to help the innocent as crejic came out of the store with a tablet I nodded to myself. I would fight for freedom against any and all oppressors.
Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.

For years now I’ve always thought I’m too selfish to be a good father. I have a bunch of hobbies that I love to do. I’ve practically done what I want when and where I feel like it the better part of my adult life and just thought I wouldn’t be able to give it up. I had this fear that a part of me would die on the inside the day I had a child…
3 days ago my wife delivered our first daughter after 44 hours of labor. My selfishness went out the window faster than I can even comprehend. Watching my wife go through labor and being there to support her, seeing my daughter be born and seeing how my wife’s motherly instinct became instant is possibly the most beautiful thing I’ve witnessed in my life. I can’t get enough of this little girl. I will give my whole world to make sure she’s happy and healthy, I love being around her.
I love being a dad, sure I’m only 72 hours in but it’s worth every stress I’ve had this past year. I love taking care of her to allow my amazing wife try to get some rest and recover. I’ve also never felt so exhausted my entire life…but it’s absolutely worth it and wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Over the years I had friends tell me it’s amazing or it’ll change you but I always failed to see it. Now I understand it. I feel it created a stronger bond between me and my wife on top of loving someone that I’ve only met 3 days ago.
I love my wife, I love my daughter and I love being a father.

hiii there :)
i’ve been feelin not-so-good lately and would like some good vibes!!
not looking to share or get deep hahah, i just need some positivity rn :)
pls gimme all the attention + affection + wholesome energy!! (i will reciprocate :p)
looking for golden retriever energy <3
fine w short term or long term chats! tell me about your day, what you’re currently binge watching, or what you’re cooking for dinner! let’s make each other feel warm!! :))
here are a few of my current fixations: - clothing/fashion (trying to spice up my closet; happy to send fit checks!) - cooking!! <3 - pianoooo (v therapeutic for me, def not a pro lol)
pls introduce yourself - how old are you? where are u from? no low effort messages please. would prefer to trade face pics, but not a requirement though :)
i’m super chill and down for anything!! ;) lemme learn more about you!!

I finally saw the Season 1 episode "Pick a con... Any Con" 19
The fact a back door even exist... feels a like unusually Trivia/ Obscure fact from an Iceberg video.
How? Isn't the bar underground? We've seen how to enter the bar from the outside and through the restaurant. But it doesn't make any sense that a Back can exist in the architecture of the building.
Of all the episodes I've watched never has this been referenced nor brought up again.
Even weirder, I've seen layouts and floor recreations on the internet. By Googling "Cheers Bar layout" a total of 4 or 5 including a game board. Where there's a space or nothing In between the TV wall and the pool room.
So I don't know.

Does any else get really irritated with the interns in the first couple seasons? I’m watching the episode where Derek and Addison’s friend wants an elective hysterectomy and Izzy is SO JUDGMENTAL for no reason. Like??? It’s not your problem girl, let it go!
Anyway, that’s my big rant, just want to scream at her to chill out right now.

Memory transcription subject: Daniel Price, Apex Cadet
Date [standardized human time]: July 4, 2137
It was a warm summer night; the perfect kind for stargazing with not a cloud in the sky. It turned out that I wasn’t the only one who did some exploring of our dorm. Colton found a way onto the roof of the building and for the Fourth of July convinced me, Jath, Usli, and even Tassev to join him up there to watch fireworks. As we waited for the show to start I couldn’t help but be amused by Colton’s enthusiastic explanation of the holiday.
“It’s going to be great guys, small towns like this are always the best. Back home one year everywhere around had a burn ban because of a drought that was going on, but my town didn’t. So you had practically everyone in the county driving on over to light up fireworks in one place! It was amazing!”
Jath scoffed, “We will see. The sun is already down and I don’t see anything.”
Usli was quick to refute Jath, his enthusiasm for the upcoming spectacle was clear, “Well maybe it’s because they’re waiting for it to be as dark as possible first!”
Tassev, who sat slightly apart from the rest of us to my right, butted in, “I must agree with the Yotul, this sounds interesting. So your people have a tradition where they just set off explosives in the sky on this day?”
Colton was quick to respond, “Yeah, and they make all sorts of noises and explode in all sorts of different colors. You’ve got the big mortars that go BOOM! And the ones that have sparkly trails, fountains, and so many more.”
I looked to Jath, “Did you guys not have fireworks on your homeworld?”
“No,” he answered. “Detonating bombs in the air above ourselves sounds like a bad idea.”
“Quit being a coward,” Tassev interjected. “If there is one human custom I can get behind it is this one.”
“Oh wait until you hear about barbeques,” Colton added.
Usli, wrapped up in the excitement of seeing fireworks, was the first to ask, “Ooh, what’s that?”
Without missing a beat Colton responded, “Well it’s where you get everyone together, it can be just family or the whole block, and you gri-”
“WAIT!” I practically yelled. Colton looked irritated with my interruption, as did everyone else. Without breaking eye contact with him I nodded slightly to the left towards Usli. The gesture was lost among our alien friends, but after a moment it clicked in Colton’s head why I had interrupted him.
“Oh. Uh, it’s not important.” Colton struggled to find a way to segue the conversation onto a different topic, prompting me to come up with something.
“Have you told them why we celebrate the Fourth of July?”
“Good point! So the holiday itself is called Independence Day, because that’s when we declared independence from the British and started the Revolutionary War.”
“Revolutionary War?” Jath asked.
“Yeah, the British had this big empire with colonies everywhere and we were one of them. But they were being tyrannical so we went to war with them for our freedom!”
Tassev seemed to be very interested in this talk of war, “Tyrannical? What is that?”
Colton had to pause for a second to think up a definition for something that had always been self explanatory to us. “It’s when you’ve got someone ruling over people but he’s just doing whatever he wants and doesn’t listen to the people. Like there’s no representation and the guy probably isn’t even elected. Like in the Revolutionary War the king of England was taxing the colonies without them being represented in their parliament.”
“King of England? But you said the war was against the British?”
“No, wait. They’re the same thing. It’s a bunch of complicated history stuff. The gist of it is that we won and this is how we celebrate it!”
“Makes sense I guess,” Usli added, “celebrate winning a war by blowing stuff up. Do you think there will be fireworks when we beat the Federation?”
“Oh of course. I betcha we’ll be throwing parades and having the mother of all fireworks shows when that happens.” Colton looked at his watch and then stared off in the distance towards town for a moment. It was noticeably dark out now and yet there was still no sign of fireworks. “I don’t understand, things should be popping off right about now… anyone got a holopad?”
“Yeah,” Jath replied, pulling it out.
“Hand it to Daniel. Search if we’re under a burn ban or something. Shouldn’t be. We got plenty of rain.”
Jath handed his holopad over to me and I did a quick internet search. “Nothing about a burn ban. Maybe if I just search about fireworks?”
“That’s worth a shot.”
I found a surprising number of recent results and began murmuring titles and excerpts from articles as I skimmed through them, “Largest fireworks manufacturer in North America retrofits factories for ammo production… Loss of Chinese manufacturing spells fireworks shortage on Fourth of July… Opinion: Independence Day is a relic of our fractured past… Poll shows record number of Americans planning to forgo Fourth of July celebrations…” The list just went on and on.
With each murmur from me the enthusiasm faded from Colton’s eyes. He turned back towards the clear night sky, probably hoping that it would prove me wrong. But after another minute of stillness he acquiesced. “Oh. There’s not going to be any fireworks after all… I guess it makes sense. Since we’re not really independent anymore. Sorry for getting your hopes up guys.”
“It’s okay man,” I said. “We could still look at the stars.”
Colton sullenly replied, “Sorry, I think I’m just going to go to bed.”
Tassev pushed himself up and with a dour expression said he would do the same.
“Same here,” Usli said, in a similar mood to Colton. “I stayed up talking to my pen pals way too late last night.”
Usli quickly made his way to the exit before Colton or Tassev had the chance to be in front of him. Once the three were gone I looked over to Jath, “So are you going too?”
The Arxur adjusted his position on the floor to a more reclined posture and rested his hands behind his head before replying, “No, I have nothing better to do.”
We both reclined there on the roof staring up at the sky in silence for a moment. Briefly my mind was invaded by the memory of laying on that department store roof in LA. A memory that felt like it was from a lifetime ago rather than less than a year. I shook my head in a vain attempt to physically dispel something as intangible as a memory.
“Sooo what are we looking at?” Jath asked.
Snapped back to reality by his words, I responded, “Just anything really. There’s constellations you can see.”
“Constellations?”
“Yeah, you know, you connect the dots with the stars and they make a picture.” Jath’s confused expression didn’t budge. “Gimme your holopad again, I’ll look it up.” Quickly I found an interactive sky map online. “Okay, so if you look over there you see those three stars and at the end of them there’s like a box of stars?”
Jath squinted his eyes and took a moment to find the individual stars I was pointing at, “I think so.”
“That’s the Big Dipper, it looks like a pot with a handle.”
“I think I see it.”
“Ok, and if you look over there you see those three big stars right next to each other? That’s Orion’s belt, which is part of the Orion constellation.”
“Who is Orion?”
“I dunno, some Greek guy probably? Those guys came up with most of the constellations way back in ancient times.”
Jath looked between the two constellations, amused by the concept. “We don’t have ‘constellations’ back home. Never thought to stare at the sky at night. Why do that when you can hunt or hide, you know?”
I might have anticipated that he wouldn’t know human constellations, but I didn’t expect for Jath to not have any concept of constellations in general. “It’s just something we do sometimes on Earth. Look up at the sky and see all those little lights up there. There’s something… peaceful about it.”
Jath sighed, “I can’t look at the stars and think of peace. A thousand of those stars we are looking at are home to pr- creatures that want to kill us, that tried to starve us to death. The ones that tried to kill you.”
I hadn’t thought of it that way. For us humans who discovered we weren’t alone only a year ago, there was a stillness and wonder to looking at the sky. For someone who grew up knowing of and fighting the Federation that feeling couldn’t be the same. “Well when we beat the Federation then you won’t have to think that anymore.”
Jath silently nodded, letting the expression on his face soften a little. “What will you do when this is all over?”
“Huh?”
“When the war is over. We beat the Federation and then what?”
“I don’t know. Ever since the attack I haven’t really thought about what I’ll do. It’s weird to think about all those times adults asked me, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ and all I could ever answer was that I don’t know. Now I know I’ll probably be a soldier, but after that? No clue. Just live on Earth and do something I like. Definitely have to visit Venlil Prime at some point. Before everything happened, my sister wanted to go there one day. What about you?”
Jath looked up to the sky for a moment, contemplating the question, “I do not know either. That is why I asked you. I can’t go back home. I won’t. Not after being here on Earth. I-I did not get to think about my future back then. It was only about if I could survive another day. Prove I wasn’t weak enough to be sent to Betterment. Show that I was worthy to at least eat scraps so I would not starve. And then when I finally proved unworthy enough they sent me here instead and it has been the best thing to ever happen to me. Even with Tassev and Roland and everything else, I have a full stomach, I have purpose, I have friends.”
“Yeah,” I sighed, “that’s the one good thing to come out of all of this. Meeting you, Colton, Usli, everyone else… I mean, I can’t imagine telling myself a year ago that I’d be friends with a bunch of aliens by now.”
“I would never have thought that I would be friends with an alien either. Every alien I ever knew of wanted us dead, and we wished the same to them. But not only that, I'm also friends with someone who isn’t even a predator. A Yotul of all things. The only Yotul I could have possibly seen in my old life would be one cut up for meat.” Jath shuddered, “Despite remembering how hungry I was back then, it… it just makes me sick to think about. That if things had gone differently I would kill and eat Usli and not have a second thought about it. I-it just makes me feel like a monster.”
“You’re far from being a monster, firstly Tassev is far ahead of you.” We both chuckled. “But seriously, my mom once told me that people do horrible things when they’re afraid. Even good people can do the worst things under the right circumstances. You aren’t a monster until you choose to be one.”
Jath turned his gaze away from the sky and towards me, “Thanks, that means a lot.”
“No problem man.”
We continued to sit there and look up at the sky for some time. I pointed out some more constellations and told him that the brightest star he could see was actually just Venus. I thought I saw a shooting star at one point, but it was just a spaceship flying by. When we finally decided to turn it in for the night, Jath stopped me at the door.
“One thing, before I forget to ask: what is a barbeque anyways?”

Since TNG, the fact that Starfleet and the Federation (regardless of timeline or universe) are in a state of compromise (from outside forces or overrun by hubris from inside forces) seems to be par for the course.
This makes me wonder if we simply can’t accept an honorable Starfleet/Federation. What about the whole “you don’t deserve the wear that uniform” thing? What about the lore about the Prime Directive and humanitarian missions and the value of a fleet of families doing science rather than warships doing war? What about so many of the stories we’ve seen about diplomacy and providing aid?
I feel like we’ve lost a good chunk of Big Rod’s original idea here. I’m all for conflict, and I get the arguments for having that. But half the reason I love Star Trek is for a vision of the future where people do what’s right because it’s right, where they fight for the underdog, and that they value IDIC for real.
In Picard Season 3 we’re given another vision of a government that can’t be trusted, that doesn‘t do right, and - moreover - has impotent checks and balances. Once again we’re expected to believe a tiny group of people (who aren’t heroes, because of x, y, z ”flaws”) who save the day again. Why almost no attempt to expand the scope of the universe? Why no attempt to hone and shape the characters in ways that don’t require a retcon of who we knew them to be for decades? We’re asked to believe that close friends would abandon each other for decades, then somehow touch base for 3 minutes and make ultimate sacrifices.
Maybe I wouldn’t believe it if they tried writing it in some other way. God knows that I can’t watch The West Wing anymore; I just don’t believe that the US government is like that vision. I was nice to believe it was possible, though. And nice to think that it might have been like that in the past. I just can’t help but be depressed by the idea that hundreds of years from now it’s no better.
Maybe an honorable Federation would have been lame. Maybe a mature, thoughtful Picard/Beverly relationship would have been trite (though I think they did a great job with it in “All Good Things…”) but it sure would have been nicer than a retread of Nemesis themes and unintelligible motives.
Maybe I’m the asshole who just doesn’t get it. I love New Trek and Old Trek. Just would like a hopeful vision of the future where things like 300 years of mental and emotional healthcare make people able to handle basic human relationships and whatnot. Anyone out there feel me?

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK AHEAD, AS WELL AS FOR JURASSIC WORLD MOVIES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Jurassic Park is widely considered by audiences as one of Spielberg's best films ever made, and I would holistically agree: Jurassic Park completely altered the trajectory of the filming landscape with revolutionary CG effects, amazing practical effects, a likable and well rounded cast, and complicated ethical questions about overstepping with scientific progress. Jurassic Park completely upended the film industry as well as reinvigorating the fields of computer generated imagery, paleontology, and genetics in the public eye.
I don’t think I have to dig too deep into why Jurassic Park is such an exceptional film that’s arguably one of the best films ever made. Yet often in the shadow of this masterpiece lie five Jurassic franchise sequels, which never truly match up to the revolutionary first film in substance or meaning. I think most criticisms towards Jurassic Park III, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, and Jurassic World: Dominion are valid as these films are all mediocre action films with very poor storytelling. People seem to positively reflect upon the first Jurassic World as a breath of fresh air, and I do agree it’s a solid popcorn blockbuster, but there’s some major issues with the story that really obscure my enjoyment of this film that are difficult for anyone seeking something with deeper meaning. There’s many plot contrivances and really dumb character decisions throughout the bulk of this movie’s runtime that really undermine some of the interesting ideas this film had (What if Jurassic Park worked and was safe? Would people actually just accept dinosaurs as a part of life and nothing too special?) There’s only one character in the Jurassic World movies with notable character development, which is Bryce Dallas Howard as Claire Dearing. I’ll even dishonorably mention Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom for removing a deleted scene where Iris, the babysitter for Lockwood, sacrifices herself to save the life of Maisie from the Indoraptor, which would have been the best sequence in the entire film and would have justified Owen and Claire abducting Maisie at the end of the film, because without this sequence Owen and Claire are literally child abductors and deny custody even though Iris is a clear candidate to take custody. I’ll also dishonorably mention Jurassic World: Dominion for retconning Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in a way that makes Fallen Kingdom’s story make no sense (Like, if Lockwood and Hammond fought because Lockwood wanted to revive his daughter, then why is Lockwoods daughter still alive in Dominion until 10 years after Hammond died according to Jurassic World? Oh wait, they fought before Jurassic Park opened in 1993, so that means that they fought while Charlotte was 20 years old, over 15 years before Maisie was even born? This side plot literally makes the canon of the Jurassic World movies impossible)
However, I personally consider The Lost World: Jurassic Park as a film that is a really underrated film. Being the only other Jurassic film with John Williams and Spielberg’s involvement other than the first, the veteran crews associated with this film.really gave this movie their all. I’d go as far to say that the first 90 minutes on The Lost World are a really interesting character study into these different character groups. People complain about the main characters sabotaging the villains often, but the point is that all these characters are morally gray with some of the Ingen staff being likable and some of the protagonist characters being unlikeable. The cliff scene and tall grass sequence are on par with the best sequences of the first Jurassic film easily, and I really like Carr’s sacrificial death to save the lives of the protagonists showing just how uncaring the natural world of the Jurassic movies are for human life. The special effects in the Lost World are even better than the special effects in the first Jurassic Park, with more species that are often represented with animatronics that add to the believability and tangibility. The compsognathus, pachycephalosaurus, and stegosaurus all look stellar and fit right in. The stegosaurus attack sequence adds to the note that even the herbivores of this lost world are nothing to take for granted, which is one of the only flaws the original Jurassic Park had. The soundtrack has a really feral and distinct identity from the theme park aesthetic of the first Jurassic Park and I actually think this soundtrack overall is better than the first film’s. Yet the Lost World holds a dramatically different tone that makes it thematically distinct from the first film with the twists and turns of moral ambiguity of capitalizing on these extinct animals. Even some of the antagonists are a pleasure to watch, like Dieter being killed by the compsognathus or Roland Tembo as the master game hunter with the desire to prove himself as capturing the most dangerous game.
But even though I think most of this film is pretty great, I think the people with complaints against this film are justified. There is a gaping flaw with the film’s design that is inherently inseparable from conversations about this movie. The last 25 minutes of Lost World are really not well thought out or executed relative to the concept. If you need a refresher, this is when the Bull Tyrannosaurus somehow kills the people on the boat, gets let out, then goes on a rampage in San Diego. This final act mainly doesn't work due to 3 core issues:
1) Lack of character: Only 3 main characters from the rest of the film are present in the final act; Ludlow, Malcolm, and Harding. For some reason all of the other characters (both the Ingen survivors and protagonist survivors) are written from the final act completely. I understand why Kelly isn’t with Malcolm and Harding, but why isn’t Van Owen present when they both are? Why is Roland Tembo not present in the final act when the objective of the final act is to capture the bull tyrannosaur? It really feels like a missed opportunity to make the film feel more cohesively tied together.
2) Lack of reason: There’s a massive plot hole from this final act which doesn’t make sense in the context of the film. How does the crew of the boat die in the film? (In the real world it’s because they didn’t have time to film a new sequence and the raptors were originally going to be on the boat as well). Why do staff open up the cargo hold on the boat when they know the Tyrannosaurus is in there and let it out? Why does Ludlow tell Malcolm and Harding where the baby T.Rex is only to try and take it back later? Why do Ingen staff just let Malcolm take the baby Trex? Why Does Ludlow chase the baby Trex into the boat on his own? Why do the main characters even want to save the Tyrannosaurus Rex from being killed? The Lost World has peculiar writing moments before the final act, but the amount of times this happens in the final act is a lot higher than the rest of the film.
3) Lack of stakes: The stakes of the final act are mostly just preventing the Tyrannosaurus from causing property damage and getting itself killed. By the time that Ian and Sarah arrive with the baby, the father T.Rex already has killed people and animals for food and members of the national guard are on the way to euthanize the adult Rex. Malcolm likely doesn’t have a personal desire to save the Tyrannosaurus due to his past experiences and likely only attempts to save the T.Rex because Harding wants to. So the stakes are “Either the Tyrannosaurus goes back into containment on the boat or it dies.”. This also feels really disconnected from Ludlow, who after telling Malcolm and Harding where the baby Rex is so they can get it, proceeds to say he wants to keep the baby Rex and shoot the adult to attempt to salvage Jurassic Park San Diego.
The worst part is that I think conceptually, the idea of the dinosaurs breaking out into urban environments in the final act as a consequence of Ludlow’s actions is brilliant. If we had sequences of the Velociraptors ambushing civilians from a dark alley it would have added a lot of value to this climax. You could have added Van Owen’s character to break into Jurassic Park San Diego to retrieve the baby instead of staff just giving it to Malcolm and Harding, or allowed Roland Tembo to redeem himself by capturing the bull tyrannosaur a second time to save lives in the city. There’s a lot of ways this concept could have been better executed in ways where it wasn’t that really makes this climax stand out compared to the stellar action pieces and setting of the main body of the film.
And to anyone reading this who is thinking: “Hey! I saw this scene as a kid, I really liked it, I don’t see the problems here.” I also liked this scene when I was younger. However, I think adding a bit more depth or logic to the final act would really help its rewatchability, because as it stands, this climax makes The Lost World lose a lot of its interesting characterization investment in the earlier parts of the film.
TL:DR; The Lost World: Jurassic Park is a good movie with a really flat final act that strips away a lot of the depth and stakes the earlier parts of the film added while also not living up to its full potential on its own.
I’m sure other people agree with me, but I just wanted to get this off my chest. If you have anything to add about this movie or other Jurassic movies, I would be curious to hear what people think about the Lost World or the Jurassic franchise in general, or if there was anything I missed.

Ideally looking for a long term FWB. Would like to go out to eat, go drinking, dancing, or be able to hang out and watch movies, in addition to having great sex.
Respond with a picture and what you’re into sexually and your hobbies and we can see if we’re a good match. Ideally would like to have drinks tonight and see where it goes!

Howdy! The preferred method is selling in a bundle but open to all offers and groupings. Free shipping for over $50. I can get pictures and/or timestamps on request.

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• $8 Super Smash Bros (3ds, loose) X 2
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• $15 The Legend Of Zelda Tri Force Heroes (3ds, loose)
• $10 Super Mario 3D Land (3ds, loose)
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Take the lot for $615

Hey, I moved recently to Berlin and I am still a trying to figure out where to watch Union Berlin matches. Back in my country when I could not go to the stadium I would go to a fan bar to watch the game. Could you please recommend me any bars to watch the game tomorrow?
p.s. I am learning Deutsch but still at A1.2 level :(

Looks like we’re back to the present. Miraculously, my leg has managed to avoid infection. Whatever this place is, it seems to be entirely sterile. It’s been three days since I found the safe room in the pillar, and I’ve been preparing. After finding the note and watching the aswang for a bit, I wrote down three more rules.
Rule 11 - You have an unlimited amount of time while making your move. No creatures will form or reform while you are at the board and making your move, but they will reform if you leave the board before moving.
Rule 12 - Don’t castle under any circumstances.
Rule 13 - According to the first letter, the pieces all have a way to sense your general location, although it is imprecise enough that they cannot locate hideouts and can be lured away from you. In addition, this ability does not extend vertically. They have no way of knowing how far below or above them you are, only your general area.
But I wasn’t simply staying idle for those three days. In the morning after I made my move, I took my keys from my pocket, and grabbed my paracord. Trusty paracord. I tore a strip of denim from my jeans and cut it into a rectangular shape, attaching it to the paracord and creating a rock sling. I filled my pockets with the Go stones, and spent a few hours practicing my aim, shooting at specific platforms from the top of the room.
Around noon, I made my way onto the canopy. The aswang patrolled below. I saw it crouch down, its colourful robes spreading out and floating in the water. I loaded my sling, but felt almost hesitant to take the shot. The scene was peaceful, almost beautiful. I looked closer as it plucked a lotus from the water. Was it admiring it? But before I could think further on it, the throbbing in my leg reminded me of my goal.
I loaded up my sling, and took the first shot. The white stone shot into the water, missing the aswang by a few centimetres. Its head snapped to the ripples the stone made, giving me a chance to load up a second stone and fire.
Direct hit. The black marble stone hit the aswang in the back of the head, punching a small hole in its skull. It collapsed. I began lowering myself down into the canopy as the aswang found itself struggling to stand up. When I was at ground level, I tried firing another shot, missing as the stone sent ripples into the water. Its head snapped all the way back to face me like an owl, its bloodshot eyes and jagged teeth a far cry from its previous tranquility. Faster than I could load up another stone, it ran at me, claws raised in the air ready to rip me to shreds.
I panicked. In my attempt to backpedal, I tripped over my own crutch, landing on my back as the aswang closed the distance. My only hope was my last spear. I let it loose from the atlatl at near point-blank range. Direct hit.
The spear punched through the aswang’s open mouth, going through the cervical vertebrae and piercing through the back of the neck where it remained stuck. It fell down, and I took the opportunity. I mounted the prone aswang, my knees pinning down its arms. My leg screamed from the pressure as I grabbed both ends of the spear, and twisted. The first 180 degrees offered little resistance, the head twisting back like an owl just as it did earlier before I found any resistance. Then with a brutal snap, the vertebrae broke, leaving the head connected only by the neck muscles. Immediately, the aswang’s body went limp and stopped flailing, but the head still hissed at me in spite.
Some more twists fully separated the head from the body. A few hours later, I washed my bloodied hands in the lakebed water and brought an armful of leg and arm bones into the safe room with me, making sure to face the still-blinking head in the opposite direction. What was left of the body was sprawled out in the water, its once beautiful robes now bloody and worn. Having renewed my weapon supply, I went back down to the chessboard. The zipline turned out to be far and away the fastest method of making it to the chessboard, but unfortunately didn’t work to get back. After riding down, the sun was close to touching the horizon. I still had about an hour left.
I made my third move, and moved my king’s pawn one space to e3. The board responded by moving the queen’s knight pawn one space to b6. After seeing the move, I made it back to the canopy and hid behind the column as I did before, still not daring a relieved breath as I heard the aswang’s footsteps grow quieter.
When I was back in the safe room, I analyzed. The game was at the point where it could branch to any number of board states and variations. The board had prepared a space for its bishop to fianchetto and patrol the long light-squared diagonal. As much as I dreaded it, my best move was to transpose to the Spassky system of the Queen’s Indian Defense and move my king’s knight out in front of the pawn, freeing up my bishop to reinforce my pawn structure. However, I would still be more restricted than I’d like. The knight is only a temporary defense against the bishop, as the intent of the opening was to prepare a kingside castle after moving the bishop up. I didn’t wish to find out what would happen if I broke the new rule 12. My best bet was to clog up the center and stop the bishop from seeing the full diagonal, but that still presented the risk of an open king in the center of the board.
I mulled over the possibilities in my head, but I couldn’t think of a better alternative than knight f3. Begrudgingly accepting that would be my next move, I wrote down two new rules from my encounter with the aswang earlier before going to sleep.
Rule 14 - While the weakest pieces cannot be killed, they can be disabled. They have no form of regeneration, and can be ‘killed’ by simply removing any means they have of attacking you.
Rule 14a - The main connection point to the piece is the head. Any piece separated from the head goes limp and stops being functional. A head with its teeth removed is no longer a threat.
I woke in the morning filled with a sense of dread. Despite being the second-weakest piece, the creature it was attached to would be one of the most dangerous ones I would have to contend with. I was at least relieved I knew the myth behind the creature, but was frustrated that I had to go up against it.
The tikbalang.
A creature of Filipino folklore along with the aswang, I knew of its many strengths and few weaknesses. A tall minotaur-esque creature, it is the hybrid of horse and man. I would not be able to fight it, especially not in my current condition.
I began to panic. I had no countermeasures against it. In an attempt to feel some form of control over the situation, I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down what I knew. If I organized the information, maybe I could find a way to take advantage of it.
Rule 15 - Any time after moving your knight, watch the water for ripples. The tikbalang is a talented shapeshifter, with many folk tales telling of its ability to transform into a human form or turn invisible entirely. The ripples in the lakebed are your only method of finding an invisible tikbalang.
Rule 15a - As well, if you ever find yourself lost in the pillars or even in the canopy on your way to the safe room or the chessboard, it is the tikbalang’s doing. It has the ability to play tricks on travelers or lead them astray from their path. A poor soul lost in the woods with a tikbalang will never find the right path, no matter how far they go. There is only one countermeasure. It is said that if you turn your shirt inside-out and wear it, the tikbalang’s spell will be broken and you can find your way back to the path.
The tikbalang was going to be hell to escape. Stronger and faster than me, with the ability to turn invisible or lead me away from the path to safety. And the only countermeasure was to wear your shirt inside-out.
I didn’t have a shirt. I used it all to wrap my leg and construct my crutch.
I’ve spent the last two days trying to figure it out. I need a solution.

Watching the episode where Carter adopts a child. And I laughed way tohard at the native American card joke. I think u mean how 😹I r native American and I laughed way to hard at this and I don't know y

So, I recently watched the newest Texas Chainsaw Massacre and I honestly hated the character of Dante. If he would have been more patient, staying behind to listen like Melody did, and didn't just go flying off the handle - then he could have been there to hear Ginny's reasoning as to why she had the flag and maybe they could have found the papers, preventing her forced eviction (which caused her heart attack) and as such prevent all of the deaths that happened in the movie. Heck, they could have come to an agreement where the flag would stay inside.
Also I know she said the N Word, but she's from a different time and she probably didn't realize what she said was wrong. Heck, she didn't show any form of negativity or aggression towards him, even being understanding of why Dante was mad.
And then, after he found out she died, he took no responsibility and just continued to act like a douche from that point on.
But what do you all think?
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