Season 2 Finale
“You look worried Bruce,” my producer jokes, moments before going live. “Even for you.”
This gets a chuckle from the crew.
“Quiet on the set!”
I’m already shaking in my shoes. Not a good sign. Working for the Devil is extremely stressful. And dangerous. And certainly not for the faint of heart. Why I took this gig is beyond me.
(Cue creepy music)
“Going live in five…four…three…”
I get the nod.
(Cut to camera one)
“Greetings Hell Beings and hell raisers. Welcome to the Season 2 finale of….”
(Cue the audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
I wave my arms in the air.
The audience jumps to their feet.
Someone heckles.
“Alright. Knock it off.”
I serve up my best game show-host grin. It looks as fake as this cheap Hollywood studio.
“As you probably know, my name is Bruce Davie, and I’m the host of…”
(Cue audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
There’s a disturbance in the audience. A crew member forcefully removes someone. The commotion settles, and I get the go-ahead.
“Phew! A feisty crowd tonight!”
My painted-on smile takes up the entire screen. So does my gleaming bald head.
“Now I know what you’re thinking. What’s the Devil got in store for us this evening?”
The audience rumbles.
I shrug.
“Honestly, I wish I knew!”
This is true. But I’m sure it has something to do with me spending an eternity in Hell. It’s right there in my contract, which runs out after this episode.
(Cut to camera two)
“So, without further ado, let’s bring out tonight’s contestants, shall we?”
The audience roars.
“And yes, you heard me correctly. Tonight, for the first time ever in this show’s defamatory history, we’ve got two contestants!”
Audience is on their feet, whooping and hollering.
(Cut to camera three)
(Cue music)
A middle-aged couple promenade towards the podium. They’re dressed like cowboys, and walk with a sense of purpose.
(Split screen)
“Welcome, both of you.”
More like: Welcome to your funeral.
“Tell us a wee bit about yourselves, why don’t you?”
(Cut to camera four)
The woman speaks first. Her hair is amber, her completion as pale as light beer.
“Well, Bruce. My name is Tammy. I’m a stay-at-home mom. This here’s my partner, Tex. He owns his own gun shop. We live in Austin Texas, with three beautiful children, who are with us here tonight.”
She points.
(Cut to overhead camera)
Two tall boys and a young girl, each dressed head-to-toe in denim, stand and bow.
The audience applauds.
(Split screen)
The other contestant approaches the microphone. He’s as tall as an ivory tower, with a voice like a banjo.
“Howdy Bruce. Good to be here.”
He tilts his cowboy hat. His square jaw and rugged good looks give Chuck Norris a run for his money.
I salute them.
(Cut to camera two)
“Well then, now that we’re finished with the formalities, I do believe it’s time to…”
(Cue audience)
“BRING OUT THE DEVIL.”
(Cue creepy music)
(Cue pyrotechnics)
The stage fills with fire and brimstone. Pentagrams slice through the air. The Devil appears suddenly, dressed in a shiny new devil suit, tailored specifically for tonight’s show. It’s jet-black, and leaves little to the imagination. His pitchforked tail follows closely behind him as he approaches the podium.
(Cut to Camera five)
The Devil wraps his arms around the two contestants, kisses them both on the cheek.
Tex, clearly perturbed, winces, then grudgingly wipes his cheek.
The Devil snarls, then looks him up and down.
“Looks like everything isn’t bigger in Texas,” the Devil teases. Suddenly, he’s grown over eight-feet tall, and is looming over the tall Texan.
(Cut to camera three)
The bright lights and furious makeup make me look like a cartoon.
“What an exciting night this promises to be!”
Tammy steps forward.
“You bet it is, Bruce. We’ve watched every episode. We just love…”
(Cue the audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
(Cut to camera three)
“Of course!” Damion boasts. “This is Hell’s most popular show. And for good reason.”
He slaps the woman’s backside with his tail, then raises his eyebrows mockingly.
The cowboy puffs out his chest, fists clenched, daring him to touch his wife again.
“Woah, easy their pardner.”
Damion nudges Tex.
Tammy is flushed. “Don’t mind Tex. He’s the jealous kind.”
“Oh really?”
Damion’s tail is now shaped like a lasso. With it, he snags Tammy and pulls her close. Her face turns tomato-red.
The cowboy grunts, pulling it off with one strong swoop.
The audience boos.
The Devil snickers.
I feel sick. If this is to be my last episode (or final day on Earth), I don’t want it spoiled by this denim-clad dude whose hat is bigger than his brains, or by Damion, who seems extra feisty tonight. Even for him.
(Cut to camera one)
I clear my throat.
“Tell us, Tammy and Tex…no, tell all of Hell…what it is your beating hearts desire?”
The audience is on the edge of their seats.
(Split screen)
The Texans exchange doubtful looks.
The wife takes charge.
“Well Bruce,” Tammy says. “We don’t want anything that might get us killed. Being from Dallas, we were raised with some common sense.”
The audience hisses.
(Cut to camera five)
The husband steps up.
“That’s right, Bruce. Simply put, we want to be famous for a day. That’s it. Then we can write a book and live off the royalties.”
The audience erupts into a frenzy of catcalls.
(Cut to camera three)
The Devil’s eyebrows touch the top of his head. His voice slithers like a snake.
“Is that so?”
My heart plummets. These Texans are flirting with disaster. If they’d stuck to the script, they might be safe. They were supposed to ask for a lifetime’s supply of Super Bowl tickets. Easy-peasy. Who do these cowpokes think they are? Do they really think they can outsmart the Devil?
“Well then,” I say, shakily. “I’m sure Damion can arrange that.”
I raise my arms.
“What does the audience think?”
The audience goes ballistic.
(Cut to camera three)
The Devil, still towering over the Texans, leans into the camera.
“Famous, eh?”
His lips smack against his face. When he touches the dude’s shoulder, the cowboy swipes his arm away.
The audience boos. Someone tosses an egg onto the podium, narrowly missing the contestants.
“Woah! Easy does it!” I spurt out.
All hell breaks loose.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The crew gets busy, disposing of both the egg and the agitator.
(Cut to camera one)
I wipe my sweaty forehead.
“Tough crowd.”
The audience hoots.
The Devil sneers.
“SILENCE!”
Flames flash across the room.
People shriek, including me.
(Close up of Damion)
The Devil, boasting his gambler’s grin, turns to the contestants.
“Yes, yes. You WILL be famous. But just for one day.”
The audience roars their approval.
I shudder. Never in all my years, have I felt so much animosity from an audience. I’ll be lucky to make it out alive.
(Split screen)
“Sounds like the Devil has a plan.”
I try to sound cheerful. But cheerfulness is the opposite of how I feel.
(Cut to camera one)
“Tell us Damion…and all of Hell…what you’ve got cooked up?”
The audience leans in.
(Cut to camera three)
The Devil winks at Tammy.
“Well, I do believe it’s time for those two cowpokes to become famous. Am I correct?”
The audience jumps to their feet, chanting: “FAMOUS.… FAMOUS…. FAMOUS.…”
(Split screen)
Tammy looks pleased. Her partner, on the other hand, is showing concern. His shoulders are tense, he’s swallowed his bottom lip.
Damion dazzles the audience.
“Famous, y’all shall be.”
He snaps his fingers.
BAM.
The studio goes dark.
Someone in the audience screams.
Tammy gasps.
Tex grunts.
(Cut to camera one)
I shrug.
Is this Damion’s latest trick? Or did they finally cut the power? We give the impression that this show is hugely popular; but in truth, outside of Hell, this show is a dud. Cable and internet companies avoid us like the plague.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The contestants vanish under a cloud of fog.
A flaming pentagram floats across the stage.
“Well, isn’t that just dandy!”
The Devil points to the large screen behind the audience.
“Mister and Missus Cowpoke are about to jump the falls!”
He snaps his fingers, then he disappears.
My legs go weak. My heart is beating irregularly again. I still don’t know he does it. How any of this works. Suddenly, I’m alone on stage, shaking in my fine Italian boots, while the audience grows rowdier by the second.
Cameras mounted on drones are pointed at Tammy and Tex, who are trapped inside a large, steel barrel, with Niagara Falls looming below them.
Damion flies across the falls, lands next to Tammy and Tex. He taps the barrel.
“Ain’t she a beauty?”
The audience hurrahs.
The barrel is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Although it’s huge, and probably weighs a ton, it barely contains the two Texans, who are kicking and screaming, cursing up a storm.
“Get me the hell out of here!” Tammy’s voice rips through the noise of the falls. “NOW!”
Damion frowns.
“You wanted to be famous. Am I right?”
The audience chants, “FAMOUS…. FAMOUS.… FAMOUS….”
Tex pokes his head out of the barrel, cowboy hat and all.
“Now wait one minute, Damion. That’s unfair. We wanted fame. Not death.”
The Devil chuckles.
“The two are synonymous, am I right?”
The audience agrees.
Damion checks his watch.
“Well then…”
He slams the lid shut.
That’s the end of the Texans, as far as I’m concerned.
(Close up of Damion)
“Whatcha think? Should they jump the falls?”
The audience shouts, “JUMP…. JUMP…. JUMP….”
(Cut to camera two)
My insides are melting. I’m petrified. You’d think working with the Devil would get easier over time. You’d be dead wrong.
“Looks like the people have spoken!” I hear myself say.
The audience continues their chant.
(Cut to overhead camera)
“Excellent,” Damion says, fiddling his fingers.
He looks over the cliff, and makes a sour face.
“Wowsers. That’s a long way down!”
“JUMP…. JUMP…. JUMP….”
“And so much water!”
(Cut to camera one)
My worried-sick face appears on the screen.
I straighten up.
“Once they jump, Tam and Tex will surely be famous!”
Except of course, they won’t be famous. Not in this world anyways. They’ve been duped. Why these people sign up to die is beyond me. Perhaps we’ve reached a spectacular level of stupidity in human evolution.
(Cut to overhead camera)
Damion’s lips stretch across his reddened face, his arms flex like a weightlifter.
“I’ll give them a helping hand.”
He rolls the giant barrel to the very edge of the cliff, ignoring the banging and hollering coming from within the steel coffin.
“Tammy, Tex…” His lips stretch into a snarl. “Prepare for fame!”
The audience is on their feet.
Damion shoves the barrel over the edge.
(Split screen)
The barrel tumbles down the falls, disappearing into the fast-moving water.
The audience holds its breath.
(Cut to spy camera)
Inside the barrel, the Texans are shrieking. Their heads and arms and legs collide. Chunks of puke pour across Tammy’s sickening face, who’s calling Tex every name in the book, and it’s a big book. Meanwhile, Tex is like a frog in a blender. His face is green, his nose is broken; blood is leaking from every orifice.
There’s a loud crash as the barrel plunders underwater.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The barrel resurfaces, traveling dangerously downstream.
The audience is back on their feet, fist-pumping.
(Split screen)
What troubles me is how the pedestrians and tourists, crowding the streets, remain oblivious. To them, this is nothing out of the ordinary. Nobody watches, or even takes a pic. I’m starting to suspect foul play. Somehow, Damion is controlling this. He’s using dark magic. A spell. Maybe none of this is real. Except of course, it is real.
(Cut to camera one)
I’m trembling.
“What a jump!” my voice ricochets off the studio walls. “They’ll be famous in no time!”
The audience chants:
“FAMOUS…. FAMOUS…. FAMOUS….”
(Closeup of the Devil)
“Yes, yes. An excellent jump, I must say.”
He peaks over the edge.
“Looks like they could use some help.”
(Cut to overhead camera)
Damion flies towards the barrel, which is bouncing off rocks and debris.
(Cut to spy camera)
Blood. So much blood in such a tight space. Tammy’s hair is in disarray. Her face is beyond repair. Tex swallowed his hat. One of his eyeballs is bouncing like a Superball. His left arm is flapping nonsensically. It isn’t attached.
(Cut to camera four)
The Devil scoops up the barrel, then flies to shore. When his feet touch the ground, he shakes off the water, cat-like, then glares at the camera.
“What a jump!”
He cranks open the lip.
(Split screen)
Tammy spills out. So does Tex’s left arm.
The audience gasps.
Damion applauds.
“Such valor and swagger!”
(Cut to camera five)
Tammy is flopping fish-like, barely clinging to life. Her mouth is full of blood and brains.
The Devil puts his foot on her head.
“SAY CHEESE.”
From out of nowhere, a photographer appears.
SNAP.
Damion, looking pleased with himself, is suddenly holding a newspaper.
(Closeup of newspaper)
The headline splashes across the screen: IDIOTS JUMP THE FALLS.
(Cut to camera four)
Damion shoves the newspaper in front of her face.
“Looks like Tammy and Tex are famous.”
Tammy's eyes twitch. Clearly, she needs medical assistance. I’m surprised she’s still alive. Her husbands brains are splattered across the inside of the barrel.
The very sight of this makes me gag.
Tammy tries to speak, but fails. Her eyes are filled with rage.
Damion tosses the leftover arm into the water, then shrugs.
“Sorry about your hubby.”
(Cut to camera two)
With wobbly knees, I face the audience.
“Looks like the barrel got the best of Tex!”
The audience bellows.
I continue to talk involuntarily.
“Gosh dolly. Look at all that blood!”
“MORE BLOOD…. MORE BLOOD…. MORE BLOOD….”
I find myself chanting along.
Suddenly, my vision blurs. I clutch my chest. Maybe I’ll suffer a heart attack on live TV. Hell waits for no one, I suppose.
(Cut to camera four)
Tammy spits blood on Damion’s boot.
“Devil be damned.” I blurt.
Damion’s face twists into a ball of fury.
“Now, now, Tammy. That wasn’t very nice.”
He crushes her fingers with his boots.
Tammy yelps.
“I was gonna save your long-limbed partner over there,” he points. “Not anymore!”
The audience is bloodthirsty. Paper airplanes and rotten eggs whizz past me. I duck just in time.
(Closeup of contestant)
Tammy’s tongue is leaking from her bloodied face. She’s missing her front teeth. Damion digs his spiky heel deep into her blood-soaked abdomen.
“I reckon you’ll need medical assistance.”
He snaps his fingers.
Suddenly, they're back in the studio.
Damion is as happy as a filthy pig. Next to him is Tammy, who’s caked in blood and gore. Her corpse-of-a-husband spills from the gigantic steel barrel, taking center stage.
(Cut to overhead camera)
The contestant’s children rush the stage. They’re delirious.
The crew hurry out and drag them aside, along with Tammy, who's rushed to the hospital, where she will certainly die.
“Now that’s what I call speedy service!”
My voice appalls me. So does this job. If only I’d listened to my mother, and got into politics.
Damion snaps his finger, then disappears under a plume of dusty smoke.
(Cut to camera one)
“Well, there you have it folks. That’s the last you’ll see of Tammy and Tex. But fret not, they had their moment of fame…in Hell!”
The audience is tossing trash onto the stage.
I narrowly dodge a projectile.
“Hope you’ve enjoyed Season Two as much as I did.”
I hated it.
“And, unless the Devil strikes me down,” and he very-well might, “I hope to see you this Fall, for Season Three of…”
(Cue the audience)
“LET’S MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.”
Season Two
Season One

To start thank you for all the love and support yesterday, it made me and especially my mom have some relief on a pretty upsetting day :)
My decision is to keep going with this approach:

1. I bit the bullet and invested in the Princeton 513+ review prep course, I know many say it’s not worth it but I need the structure. I REFUSE to let this stupid test beat me lol
   
2. I’m currently looking at and going to apply to SMP programs in the near future
   
3. Once I take the MCAT again on July 28th , I’m gonna try and submit my complete app Aug 28th and see what happens (mainly targeting DO, low MD)
   

I know you’ll never see this letter, and I suppose I should be grateful for that, but I still feel so stupid for writing it. Stupid because there’s no reason my feelings should be this strong and my heart should hurt this badly. We were only talking for a few short weeks but, man, I fell HARD and I fell FAST. But now it’s all over and I’m left here to pick up the pieces. I’m sure you’re happy with her, and that’s great. I want you to be happy. But I want to be happy too. So, in an attempt to help heal my broken heart, I just wanted to write down (almost) all the things I’ll never get to say:
-When you first messaged me after we matched for the 4th time in as many years, you said “the universe just wants us to be together.” I responded by saying “and who are we to tell the universe it’s wrong?” Well, we called the universe’s bluff and now I feel like I’m the one paying the price for it. You get to move on and fall in love and I get to sit at home, too afraid to go out anywhere in case I run into you. If I need to drive through your neighborhood to get somewhere, I’ll take a longer route just to avoid the possibility of seeing you.
-I still walk the dog on that nature trail and by the park where we had our first date. I feel safe there because you didn’t know it existed before I told you about it, and there’s a very slim chance you’ll ever go back. It’s the dog’s favorite route to walk along though, so I still take him every day after work. But it breaks my heart to be there because all I can think of is you, and our conversation, and the way my head rested perfectly on your chest when we hugged because you’re so tall, and the way your lips felt pressed against mine.
-the dog is on a diet and I hate that every time I feed him, the sound of kibble and chicken falling into his bowl is replaced with your laughter as you said “aww no look at him, he ain’t missing no meals!” He was wary of you, but oddly enough I think he misses you. When we pass by someone on our walks that looks even remotely like you, his tail will wag uncontrollably and he tries to jump on them. He still growls a bit, but he just seems sad when he realizes it’s not you. I do too.
-I hate doing laundry now because doing laundry means I need to open the closet door where the washer and dryer are. The same door you picked me up and pressed me up against, my legs wrapped around your waist, when you did everything you could to turn me into putty in your hands. I want to pull those doors off the hinges so I don’t have to look at them every day.
-You ruined chocolate chip cookies for me. They were my favorite midnight snack and now all I think about is baking late-night, post-sex cookies with you. I’ve been fortunate to live my entire life without any allergies, but now it feels like just one cookie will kill me. Even when I pass by the pre-made dough in the grocery store, I can feel my heart constrict and my throat close up.
-You ruined Star Wars for me. I thought it was so cute how you, a chemistry nerd, never saw the penultimate nerd series. I was excited for our plans to have a movie marathon. I was excited to show you to the galaxy. Now I stop the microwave before the timer hits 0:00 because it sounds like R2-D2 and it makes me lose my appetite.
-I bought new lingerie I was hoping to surprise you with. It arrived in the mail after we stopped talking. I can’t even force myself to try them on to make sure the sizes are correct. They’re just sitting in a drawer with the tags still on, collecting dust. I used to feel sexy and confident in my underwear. Now I feel like a sheepish little girl, too afraid to undress in the locker room before PE class.
-I told you I didn’t want kids, and that only one man in my entire life truly made me consider starting a family, but that he hurt me so badly I was completely sworn off. That was a lie. Maybe not at first, but it became a lie. When I found out you had a kid, after the shock and hurt subsided, after you spoke of how much you love your child, there was a second man I could see holding my child in his arms. You. A gorgeous little creature who would be the best parts of you and me put together. Now I fear that if I ever have children, I’ll resent them because they won’t be half of you.
-I hate that every time I see a car like yours, my heart skips a beat. I almost got into an accident the other day because I thought I passed you on my way into town. I’m afraid to drive now because all I do is look out for your car, wondering if you’re looking out for mine.
-I hate how deeply I care about you, and how I wish you nothing but the purest love and happiness. I hate that I can’t hate you. It would all be so much easier if I hated you. I wouldn’t be hurting so much. I could chalk this all up to the fact that you’re an asshole. A player. You used me and threw me away. But that’s not you. You’re kind and caring and gentle and, if I had only given us a proper chance, I could have known what it would feel like to be truly loved by you.
-I hate that I swallowed my pride and apologized, when I honestly didn’t have much to apologize for, only to be met with silence. My pride was all I had left, and now that’s gone too. And I especially I hate how pathetic and desperate this all sounds. After my last serious heartbreak, I put so much time and effort into myself, and I reminded myself that I am amazing and anyone is lucky to have me. Now I’m back to apologizing for using up oxygen.
-I hate that I believed you when you said you still wanted me, desired me, even though I could feel the distance between us growing larger. And I hate that now you’re so cold, so indifferent. I hate that you act like it was all just in my head. Even if it was, I wish you would just say that instead of leaving me with radio silence. It would be easier to understand that maybe I really am just obsessive or crazy, than to be left wondering how it all went wrong. But I know there’s nothing to wonder about. You said that if you didn’t want to talk to me, you wouldn’t. It appears you are a man of your word. I just wish I took you at your word when I still had the chance.
-You said I don’t know you or understand you, and I hate that you’re right. I hate that you don’t know or understand me either. We never gave each other the chance to. And I hate that we’ll probably never get that chance again.
-I want you to be happy, and I hope she does make you happy. But, like I said, I want to be happy too. I want to be with you. I want to hear your laugh again, see your perfect smile again, hear your heart beat as I lay on your chest again. I want to feel you in me again, holding me tightly. I want to sit on the swing with you, my legs across your lap as I listen to you tell me all your wildest stories. I want to feel your lips press against my forehead as you slip out of bed. I just want to feel like you care again. Even if it was all in my head.
I know we may never speak again, but I want you to know that I will always want you. And I hate that. But I don’t hate you. Not even a little bit.
Yours, always.
Baddie

I really want to see some stats on the issue of dead zones. For myself, I am in north Florida.
4.95 rating, 56% acceptance rate, 10% cancellation rate
I don't think demand has dropped this much. Uber has overhauled their platform to exclude picky drivers. I went from being able to make $50-100/night to maybe getting 1 or 2 rides, and I'm pretty sure I can guess why. I doubt it's demand, because too many weird things have been happening randomly....for example last friday night I went driving, got online and ventured out into the deep. It was over an hour and I had not seen any requests, so I go offline and go back on....immediately get a 'out of your preference' eats request for $3. Accept that, complete it, and wait for another ride.....nothing coming in. Go offline and back on, immediately boom another out of preference request....$2
So I thought that was a good tactic to keep using just driving around and toggling off and on, but they just keep giving ridiculous requests that I can't make any money from. How is something like $3 for 12 miles viable?
Too many drivers are calling out common scenarios in some of the biggest cities in the country. I bet if we compared our stats we would notice a similar trend.
We all know Uber is dishonest and does things like baiting drivers to a surge zone only to rip it away when you reach the area. They contain all the power to curtail our experience and unfortunately for those who are struggling it's causing us extreme frustration and affecting our lifestyles. Just wish this was fair, but it looks like they only care about drivers who will accept low fares that take exorbitant amounts of time to complete.
To those who are condescending to drivers, you should be ashamed. I'm willing to bet at some point in your lives you needed or will need a ride from rideshare, and I bet you'd be mad taking a cab...because cabs aren't cheap, neither is Uber for that matter just a little bit less.
These drivers provide a much needed service but it's looked at as a bum job because people just think drivers are worthless, have no skills, lazy, not willing to better themselves.
Drivers are just people, making extra cash, or ends meet...but that isn't commendable in this world. I've used Uber plenty of times, and I know how it is...and when I do use it I tip great. I tip great because I know that most people who Uber are going through tough times, I can see that thousand yard star in their eyes...the feeling of just getting through another day, another trip to the gas station, another PB&J sandwich, another bill finally paid, getting that laundry detergent so you can wash your clothes, standing at the grocery store picking the generic brands and adding the prices up based on what's left in your bank account, declining friends invitations to hang out because you aren't sure you can afford it.
There is a very small percentage that wants to do this for a career. It's a stepping stone to something better. People love to tell you that if you don't like something or it's not enough, find something else. Thanks for that idea, you know I just didn't fucking think of that 🙄
I use it for extra income due to covid wiping out my family's expenses and catching their lives back up, it's been a tough couple of years and Uber has helped me and I am grateful for what I've been able to do. I work my ass off though, nights and weekends I'm on the road putting the hours, miles, wear and tear on my car and self.
I like having the flexibility to drive when I can, so getting a second scheduled job doesn't fit for me.
Please respond and comment your ratings and area so everyone here gets an idea of the BS Uber is pulling.
I'm just very curious.
If you don't have anything constructive to comment just don't. If however, you know of different opportunities I can use to acquire income I'd like to know. I was doing online surveys but that is very time consuming and the payouts are small and infrequent.
Day labor? Fuck....I don't know. I just don't know.
Maybe I'm looking for validation of corruption, maybe I'm crying out for help in fear of losing everything...I feel defeated.

Good morning, afternoon, evening, or night, wherever you might be! (It's evening here in EST; wasn't that a clever way to point out my time zone?) You can call me CC; I'm a long-time roleplay writer (squarely in the middle of my twenties) who's braving the new frontier of Reddit to find partners in storytelling. I'm a big believer in lengthy posts: Not word count over substance, of course, but breathing life into a setting and characters with well-chosen details and, hopefully, a little flair, is something that's near and dear to my heart.
The genre I'm looking to explore, most likely to the chagrin of some of the more high-concept-minded scribes here, is modern-day slice-of-life! (If you closed out of this ad upon reading that, it's okay! High-concept stories are AWESOME, they're just not my strong suit.) I'd thoroughly enjoy getting to craft a playful story with a plucky pair of romantic leads who have a cheeky chemistry, an I-can't-stand-them-but-oh-God-I'm-crushing energy, and a spark that'll see them end up together.
You may notice I'm speaking in broad strokes instead of debuting the prompt for a more specific story, and that's by design! I think stories really sing when writers work together to decide on a setting and plot beats, but, hey, if you ask me to write you something and you'll follow my lead, cool, that works too.
The characters I'm best at writing are typically college-to-young-adult in age, and I most enjoy writing adorkable male leads who are, in some way, an underdog in a power dynamic with their romantic counterpart, starting on the back foot and working tirelessly to go toe-to-toe with her antics.
If this ad speaks to you in any way, shape, or form, please write me and tell me why! Let's do what this post's title says and write something witty, charming, and cheeky.

Written by Russell Kirkland
This discussion of "Taoism" in classical China will begin with the observation that there was actually no such thing, at least not in the sense that is commmonly accepted among non-specialists. Both in Asia and in the West, many scholars, and their students, have ignored the many advances in Taoist studies since the 1970s, and have continued to cling to outdated stereotypes of what Taoism was/is. In particular, they often cling to simplistic notions about "philosophical Taoism" that now seem unable to withstand critical analysis, in light of recent advances in textual and historical research. The concept of "philosophical Taoism" is, to a large extent, a modern fiction, which has been developed and embraced by people around the world for specific and identifiable social, intellectual, and historical reasons.
Current research reveals that the so-called "Taoist school" of classical times was actually "a retrospective creation": it began as the reification of a Han-dynasty bibliographic classification, and it took its present form in post-Han times, i.e., in the third century CE.
The importance of these facts is that we need to press non-specialists to re-evaluate their commonly accepted ideas of what "Taoism" is. For most of this century, there has been nearly universal agreement among philosophers, historians, and the general public — in Asia and in the West — that "Taoism" could simply be equated with a set of ideas that are embodied (or are perceived to be embodied) in the Tao te ching and the Chuang-tzu. Current research has begun to demonstrate that that common understanding is far too simplistic.
To begin with, it is now clear to most specialists that those two texts were not, in fact, the expositions of two great philosophers, but rather the product of a prolonged period of accretion. That is, each contains ideas from a variety of minds generations or even centuries apart, not to mention different geographical regions. The Chuang-tzu probably originated in scattered jottings of a man named Chuang Chou ca. 320 BCE, and was developed into its present form over the following 500 years. The earlier layers of the Chuang-tzu were apparently composed by someone who had never seen the Tao te ching. For its part, the Tao te ching dates only to around the beginning of the third century BCE, i.e., to several decades after the Chuang-tzu began to be compiled. But once again, there is no evidence that the Tao te ching's compilers were aware either of the ideas of the fourth-century writer Chuang Chou or of the text that eventually came to bear his name. Though the provenance of the Tao te ching is still the subject of debate, one current line of research suggests that it may have emerged from the re-working of oral traditions of a community in the southern state of Ch'u. So far, research has been unable to shed virtually any light upon the identity of its compiler or redactor. And I certainly do not expect to establish that identity here. But what is, in fact, possible is to examine possible evidence of that redactor's familiarity with another ancient text, a text of which few today — even among scholars of Chinese thought or religion — have ever heard. That text is a brief work, about one-half the length of the Tao te ching, entitled the Nei yeh (or "Inner Cultivation").
There is little doubt that the Nei yeh is several generations older than the Tao te ching. It seems to date to some time in the second half of the fourth century BCE. That is, it may have been compiled by a contemporary of Chuang Chou, though again there is virtually no data as to the compiler's identity. The Nei yeh fell out of general circulation when it became incorporated into a larger collection, the Kuan-tzu, sometime before the middle of the second century BCE. After that, it was seldom noted by Chinese scholars or philosophers until the 20th century, and even today its thought and significance have barely begun to be explored.
For instance, though it has never, to my knowledge, hitherto been noticed, the influence of the Nei yeh on Chinese thought was profound and extensive. For example, it is here that one first encounters comprehensible references to the personal cultivation of such forces as ch'i ("life-energy"), ching ("vital essence"), and shen ("spiritual consciousness"). The cultivation of such forces became a central theme in certain versions of modern Taoism, as well as in Chinese medicine. But there is also evidence that the Nei yeh may have profoundly influenced the Tao te ching. In this essay, I attempt to identify basic thematic differences between the Nei yeh, the Chuang-tzu, and the Tao te ching, and to suggest certain interpretive strategies for understanding the relationship among them.
The primary difference between the Nei Yeh and the Tao te ching is signalled by the title of the former. Nei means "internal," and in ancient times yeh meant in one sense "cultivation/production" and in another sense "what one studies." Thus the work's title refers directly to "Inner Cultivation" or "Inner Development." Its contents provide the reader with instruction and advice for applying oneself to a task involving what is inside oneself. That is, it teaches the reader how and why to practice certain specific forms of biospiritual cultivation. In fact, unlike the Tao te ching, the Nei Yeh is concerned with virtually nothing else besides biospiritual cultivation.
The Teachings of the Nei Yeh
The teachings of the Nei Yeh are quite distinct from the ideas that most non-specialists associate with "philosophical Taoism." Its teachings will sound more familiar to people acquainted with the traditions of modern Taoism that focus on the cultivation of ch'i. The Nei Yeh indeed begins with the assumption of a powerful salubrious reality called ch'i, "life-energy." In the Nei Yeh, ch'i is present both within all things and all around them. Within each being, ch'i is centered in the "essence," ching — which Roth describes as "the source of the vital energy in human beings [and] the basis of our health, vitality, and psychological well-being." But the central focus of the Nei Yeh's teachings have to do more with how the individual manages his/her hsin, the "heart/mind." The "heart/mind" is the ruling agency in the individual's biospiritual nexus, i.e., in the entire personal complex of body/mind/heart/spirit). The Nei Yeh's principal teaching is that one should make sure that one's "heart/mind" is balanced and tranquil, without excessive cogitation or emotion. If one can maintain a tranquil "heart/mind," then one will become a receptor of life's salubrious energies, and will be able to retain them; without tranquility, those healthful energies will leave, and one's health, and very life, will become threatened.
In the Nei Yeh, the specific nature and identity of life's desirable energies are still some-what vague. One key term that it uses is shen, "spirit" or "spiritual consciousness." "Spirit" involves perception and comprehension: it is the basis for all higher forms of awareness. According to the Nei Yeh, the practitioner must align his/her biospiritual nexus with the unseen forces of the world in order to attract "spirit" and receive it into one's quietened "heart/mind." One's ability to succeed in this endeavor is called te. Te has often been dubbed a key concept in "philosophical Taoism," but the meaning of the term in the Nei Yeh hardly resembles any of the common descriptions of the term as it is used in the more familiar Taoist texts. In the Nei Yeh, the term te does retain the generic meaning of "the inner moral power of an individual," and even the archaic (Shang-dynasty) concept of te as "a proper disposition toward the unseen forces." But here, te is clearly not a force that is intrinsic to our natures, as many modern descriptions of Te in "philosophical Taoism" would have us believe. Rather, te, like "spirit," is something that we acquire when all elements of the body/heart/mind are completely peaceful and properly aligned. Here we can discern the full meaning of the traditional Chinese explanation that the word te meaning "inner power" may be understood in terms of the homophone te which is the common verb in both classical and modern Chinese for getting or acquiring. In the Nei Yeh, te may be termed "the acquisitional agency," for it is not just what we attract and receive, but that whereby we attract and receive the higher forces of life (e.g., ch'i and shen). What is more, in the Nei Yeh one is told that one's te is something that one must work on each and every day. (Once again, such teachings vary widely from the concept of what Te means in common notions of "philosophical Taoism.") The practitioner builds up his/her te by practicing daily self-control over his/her thought, emotion, and action. One who succeeds at these practices can become a sheng-jen, a "sage." The "sage" is described as being "full of spirit" and "complete in heart/mind and in body."
One might well ask what role the concept of tao plays in the Nei Yeh. The way the term is used in the Nei Yeh does not always coincide with the way it is used in the more familiar texts. In the Nei Yeh, the term tao is actually quite vague: it is sometimes used rather indiscriminately to refer to the salubrious forces of life that the practitioner is working to cultivate. For instance, one passage reads as follows:
The Way is what infuses the structures [of the mind] yet men are unable to secure it. It goes forth but does not return, it comes back but does not stay. Silent! none can hear its sound. Sudden! so it rests in the mind. Obscure! one cannot see its form. Surging! it arises along with me. We cannot see its form, we cannot hear its sound, yet we can put a sequence to its development. Call it "Way."
One also encounters a line that is virtually identical to passages in the Tao te ching: "What gives life to all things and brings them to perfection is called the Way." But otherwise, the term tao is seldom identified in the terms that are familiar to readers the Tao te ching or the Chuang-tzu. In the Nei Yeh, the term is generally used as an equivalent of its technical terms for the spiritual realities that the practitioner is being instructed to attract and retain by means of tranquillizing the heart/mind.
Thematic Contrasts between the Nei Yeh and the Familiar "Taoist Classics"
Clearly, the Nei Yeh has a specific and identifiable focus, articulated in terms comprehensible to the careful reader. But it is also clear that if we are intellectually honest, the teachings of this text are quite distinguishable from those of the more familiar texts of classical Taoism. For instance, while terms like te and tao appear frequently in all the texts, they are used in different senses in different texts, as well as in different passages of the same text. Neither term is thus a "basic concept" of some general philosophical system: each term carried a variety of meanings among the people who developed "Taoist" ideas across ancient China. We should thus beware the common tendency of assuming that certain teachings of the Tao te ching and Chuang-tzu were in any sense representative of a coherent ancient Chinese school of thought, much less normative for identifying "Taoist" beliefs and values in general.
Secondly, it should be noticed that the portrait of the Taoist life in the Nei Yeh is in some ways quite dissimilar to that which we generally encounter in the Tao te ching and Chuang-tzu. For instance, the key to life in the Nei Yeh is one's diligent effort to attract and retain spiritual forces named ch'i, ching and shen. While each of those terms does occur here and there in both the Tao te ching and the Chuang-tzu, seldom in those texts do we find the specific teachings that are so basic to the Nei Yeh.16 In particular, it is hard to think of passages from either of the more familiar texts that suggest that the thing called tao is a force that can come into or go out of a person, or that one it is necessary to engage in specific practices to get the tao to come or to keep it from going away.17 In the more familiar texts, the term tao generally seems to suggest a universal reality from which one can never really be ontologically separated.
In addition, the practices commended in the Nei Yeh are much more clearly physiological in nature than we are accustomed of thinking of Taoist practice as being. Indeed, one of the reasons that some of the teachings of the Tao te ching have become domesticated in Western culture is that the public believes those teachings to involve no regular, definable practices that involve one's physical existence. According to such beliefs, the Taoist life is essentially stative: it never involves specific practices that carry historical or cultural baggage, and certainly never involves any work.
It should also be noted that the Nei Yeh never presents the spiritual life in terms of "practicing wu-wei." Here, the Taoist life is not a stative life of "just being," or of "being spontaneous," but rather a very active life of specific practices, practices that must be carefully learned and properly performed if one is ever to come into possession of such elusive forces as tao. In this framework, the Taoist life involves personal responsibility, dedication to a life of constant self-discipline, and conscientious daily practice. Moreover, this practice involves the purification and proper ordering of one's body as well as one's "heart/mind." It would be excessive to say that the Nei Yeh teaches a "Taoist yoga," but it clearly does assume that the spiritual life involves practices that also have physical components, even extending to moderation in eating. I thus refer to such activities more broadly as "biospiritual practices."
Neither the Tao te ching nor the Chuang-tzu are so clearly focussed upon biospiritual practices. While they do contain passages that allude to such practices, their writers (or at least the editors) have many other teachings to convey, teachings that are generally absent from the Nei Yeh. For instance, as Rickett observed long ago, the concepts of yin and yang are nowhere seen in the Nei Yeh. Modern beliefs egregiously exaggerate the centrality of those concepts in the Taoist tradition. In reality, the concepts of yin and yang were never specifically Taoist. The terms do appear in the Tao te ching and the Chuang-tzu, though in quite minor roles. But the world of the Nei Yeh is a world quite devoid of yin and yang.
Other differences between the Nei Yeh and the more familiar texts seem not to have been remarked upon by other readers. For instance, there are few teachings in the Nei Yeh involving issues of government. Though modern conceptions commonly associate Taoism with the life of the individual rather than with social or political concerns, such was never really the case. Social and political concerns always played an important role in Taoism, from classical times into the later imperial period. The Tao te ching, for its part, contains dozens of passages discussing the problems involved with ruling a state. Indeed, some respected scholars have long characterized the Tao te ching as "a handbook for rulers." Such a characterization is actually something of an exaggeration, but the point here is that the Nei Yeh displays little interest in issues of government.
In addition, the Nei Yeh differs from both the Tao te ching and the Chuang-tzu in that it never critiques or ridicules the beliefs or practices of Confucians. Once again, there is a common misconception that "Taoism" arose as a reaction against Confucianism, and that Taoists always clearly differentiated their teachings from those of the Confucians. However, there is nothing in the Nei Yeh that criticizes Confucian teachings. In fact, there are clear and unmistakable continuities between the teachings of the Nei Yeh and certain elements of the teachings of the 4th-century Confucian known as Mencius. What is missing from the Nei Yeh is the Confucian emphasis upon saving society by reviving within one's personal life the principles of proper moral/social behavior known as li. The reader of the Nei Yeh is taught how to align him/herself with the forces at work in the world, because doing so is necessary for one's personal well-being. There is little trace of a belief that one is responsible for changing society. On the other hand, those who held such beliefs are neither faulted nor mocked. So while sections of both the Tao te ching and the Chuang-tzu were composed by opponents of Confucianism, such sentiments are not found in the Nei Yeh.
Another theme conspicuously absent is the idea that the ideal society is a small-scale community without civilized technology or complex socio-political institutions. That idea is most familiar to the modern audience from the 80th chapter of the Tao te ching, though there are other examples in the Chuang-tzu. Several scholars have recently begun referring to such ideals as a distinct "phase" or "voice" of early Taoism, to which they refer as "Primitivist." But as some of those scholars have already noted, the Nei Yeh is completely devoid of such ideals. Thus, the Rousseau-esque idea that Taoism consists of a rejection of civilization in favor of simpler ways of living is inaccurate. It would seem that a person could follow the teachings of the Nei Yeh within nearly any social context, and that it never occurred to the text's compilers that any one type of social setting might be preferable to any other. The Nei Yeh does not, therefore, provide the antidote to the Industrial Revolution that Westerns have sometimes claimed to find in "philosophical Taoism."
So if we have here a form of Taoism that is fundamentally disinterested in social issues, would it be correct to say that it is basically more concerned with our place in the universe? Well, in a certain sense, yes, but it is important to note that the Nei Yeh is also unconcerned with many of the cosmological issues with which modern readers are often so fascinated. For example, there is no real discussion of cosmogony in the Nei Yeh. Other Taoist texts sometimes discuss the origin of the world, in terms that sometimes seem to combine poetry with philosophy. But the Nei Yeh contains no such passages. It alludes to no "Non-Being" from which "Being" comes, and it posits no eternal reality ontologically prior to, or separate from, the present world — no "noumenon" to contrast with the "phenomena" of life as we know it. The closest thing to a cosmogonic passage in the Nei Yeh would seem to be its opening lines:
[The vital essence (ching) of all things — This is what makes life come into being: Below, it generates the five grains, Above, it brings about the constellated stars. When it flows in the interstices of Heaven and Earth, It is called "spiritual beings"; When it is stored up inside [a person's] chest, He is called "a sage."]
But here we are clearly dealing with a life-force that operates within the world, a force of generation that is spiritual in nature, and can be localized either within independent spiritual beings or within a person who successfully collects and stores it. But there is no suggestion here of any noumenal reality that has an ontological existence separate from the reality of which we are all a part. "Being" does not come from "Non-Being," and the composers show no interest in constructing any cosmological theories. These facts are brought home most clearly when we encounter the term tao in the text, for as noted earlier, in the Nei Yeh the term tao clearly refers to a transient reality that a person needs to attract and to retain. It is not some universal transcendent that one attains by developing some "mystical gnosis" qualitatively distinct from normal experience.
Nor is there any discussion in the Nei Yeh of the theme of "change." There is little trace, for instance, of the notion that there is un unchanging cosmic force beyond the world of change. Nor is there a poetic image of a sagely person who blissfully flows or drifts along with life's ongoing processes. The latter idea may be present in passages of the Chuang-tzu, but there is nothing like it in the Nei Yeh, any more than there is in the Tao te ching. In the Nei Yeh, one neither transcends change nor adapts to it: there is, in fact, no mention of life as a process of change or flux. Rather, the Nei Yeh teaches that there is a salubrious natural force, or set of forces, that are elusive: they are not ephemeral — they are enduring — but they do not stay in one place unless a person has transformed him/herself into an efficient receiver and receptacle for those forces. A good analogy for them might be radio waves, which are constantly flowing around and through us, but can only be held and put to use by a device that is properly tuned. To extend this metaphor a bit more, the Nei Yeh seems to suggest that we are radios that were all properly designed, and were originally fully functional; but now we experience interference in the form of excessive activity in the heart/mind, and we need to re-tune ourselves to eliminate that interference and begin functioning properly again. For these reasons, it would be correct to say that the Nei Yeh requires self-corrective activity, just as the other Taoist texts do, but that the Nei Yeh's model for understanding and practicing self-correction is fairly unique.
The Nei Yeh also gives the lie to yet other misconceptions of Taoism, including some held by thoughtful philosophers. One such misconception is that Taoist teachings are deeply iconoclastic, antinomian, even revolutionary. According to this view, the basic thrust of Taoism is to jolt the individual into a realization that he/she should reject traditional beliefs and values, condemning them as the artificial constructs of an oppressive society. This interpretation of classical Taoism is not just the conceit of 1960s Hippies who saw it as a condemnation of "establishment culture." Generations of Westerners — Americans in particular, perhaps — have read the Tao te ching, and parts of the Chuang-tzu, as a post-Enlightenment gospel of individual freedom, freedom from the uncomfortable aspects of "Society" in general, and of Western culture in particular.
One version of this modern concept of Taoism can be seen in certain recent analyses by the respected philosopher Chad Hansen. Hansen seems to perpetuate the notion that Taoism is essentially an attempt to undermine acceptance of "convention." He argues that the Tao te ching and Chuang-tzu both begin from a "linguistic skepticism (which) arises against a background assumption that language is a social mechanism for regulating people's behavior." Speaking of the composer of the Tao te ching, Hansen says, "His political and practical advice is almost invariably the reversal of conventional political and moral attitudes. He reverses conventional values, preferences, or desires..." Why? "All learning of distinctions comes with dispositions to prefer one or the other... (But) trained discriminations are not a constantly reliable guide to behavior. Culturally motivated preferences based on those distinctions are, on the whole, unreliable. And they control us in insidious, unnatural ways." While Hansen may be partly or wholly correct in his assessment of the role of culture in forming individuals' dispositions, it is dubious whether that assessment was present in the minds of the Taoists of classical China, particularly in the mind in the compiler of the Tao te ching. Most of Hansen's "Daoist theory of knowledge" is woven from certain themes in Chuang-tzu, where such issues do indeed seem to be addressed. But such intricate treatment of "knowledge," "language," "convention," etc., are not found in the Tao te ching, which addresses concerns that are quite distinguishable from those of the compiler(s) of the Chuang-tzu, especially a variety of moral and political concerns. And in the Nei Yeh, there is no trace of any critique of the relationship between culture and knowledge or desire. The Nei Yeh does not critique "conventional society" and urge us to reject it, nor does it critique language, nor does it urge us to beware socially-inculcated valuations.
There are yet other distinctive features to the teachings of the Nei Yeh. For instance, unlike the Tao te ching, it has nothing to say about issues of gender. There are several passages in the Tao te ching that commend a "feminine" attitude or behavior, such as humility or yielding. Such passages appear to imply that what is wrong with our normal attitudes and behavior is that they are excessively "masculine." Such ideas, however, are seldom seen in texts like the Chuang-tzu, and they are likewise absent from the Nei Yeh. The compilers of the Nei Yeh do teach that there are attitudes and behaviors that we should forego, but there is no gender imagery associated with them.
In this connection, one might ask whether the three texts share the same intended audience. Were any or all of them intended specifically for men? Well, one may infer that when the reader is given advice presumed useful for achieving political goals, the reader was presumed to be male, since, in ancient China, political participation by women was not an option (except for a spouse or immediate family member of a man who held a position of authority). As mentioned earlier, the Nei Yeh is comparable to most sections of the Chuang-tzu in that the reader is seldom assumed to be someone attempting to engage in political rule. It is also true that in ancient China women seldom achieved literacy, so one could argue that any written text was intended only for men. But such reasoning ignores other possibilities, such as that of a family or group that included both men and women, all interested in learning how to live from a text that few of them could actually read themselves. One should also note that the Nei Yeh (like much of the Tao te ching) is composed largely in verse, and that some scholars believe that certain sections "may have been borrowed from some early Taoist hymn."28 We must bear in mind that though ancient China did produce some written texts, it was still largely an oral society, in which most people of either gender acquired and dispensed information and advice primarily, if not exclusively, by word of mouth. The Nei Yeh is almost certainly a text containing teachings that originated in an oral tradition. And there is little in the content of those teachings that would seem to be either more or less practiceable by members of either gender.
Another distinctive feature of the Nei Yeh is that it seems to lack the idea of "Heaven" (T'ien) as a benign guiding force in life. Both the Confucians and the Mohists shared some version of that idea, reflecting more generally held beliefs that dated back to at least the end of the second millennium BCE. Today such ideas are not generally associated with Taoism, for Taoists, by modern definition, believe in an impersonal reality called "Tao" that transcends all other realities, including "Heaven." Such is not entirely the case, of course. Several chapters of the Tao te ching speak of "the Way of Heaven" (T'ien-tao or T'ien-chih-tao), a beneficent force that seems to have will as well as agency. But there is little trace of such ideas in the Nei Yeh.
Finally, we should address the issue of morality. Are the teachings of the Nei Yeh concerned solely with internal self-cultivation? Is there any evidence that the practitioner is ever to give any thought to anyone other than him- or herself? This is a key question, because virtually all modern interpreters, Chinese and Western alike, have accused Taoism of being inimical to the idea that a person should be concerned about others:
{Taoism pictures the person as a wanderer in the void, and perceives his happiness to lie in drifting with the stream, unanchored by the network of demands and responsibilities....[In Taoism, the] happiness one is concerned with is one's own, logically independent of the happiness of others....[The] follower of the Way is necessarily a loner....}
Elsewhere I have attempted to demonstrate that such accusations are wholly inaccurate, at least in regard to the Tao te ching. That text enjoins the reader to practice "goodness" (shan), which involves extending oneself toward others impartially so as to benefit them. In the Tao te ching, the Taoist life is one in which one achieves self-fulfillment as one is selflessly benefitting the lives of others.32 Do we find such ideals in the Nei Yeh? I can find little evidence of them. There are a few passages for which one might be able to make an argument that the reader is to think of providing benefits to others, but none that seems clearly to express such ideals. Certainly, as compared to the Tao te ching, the Nei Yeh lacks any clear moral concern, and does in fact give the overall impression that "the happiness one is concerned with is one's own."
Conclusion
It is clear that the Nei Yeh is quite distinct in content from either the Tao te ching or the Chuang-tzu, despite the texts' many similarities. The Nei Yeh, we should recall, was earlier than the Tao te ching, and could even be interpreted as an example of "the earliest Taoist teachings." The Tao te ching shows clear evidence that its compilers were deeply concerned with the social and political issues that concerned members of other schools of thought, particularly the Mohists and Confucians. One could thus reasonably even characterize the teachings of the Nei Yeh as "original Taoism," and the teachings of the Tao te ching as "applied Taoism." Though the Tao te ching may have, in some sense, emerged from the same general tradition that produced the Nei Yeh, its compilers were interested in the issues of living in human society as much as, if not more than, they were interested in the practice of "inner cultivation." Further attention to the differences among the assumptions and concerns of all these texts should provide greater insight into the divergent communities that produced such materials, and of the divergent models of the Taoist life that they envision.

Anyone gone car free living in the area? My car has been recently diagnosed as rusted beyond reasonable repair on the underbelly. I live off the peninsula near USM
I already regularly use the bus system for work (not every day but at least once a week) and sometimes bike — biking in Portland is a little scary so I don’t feel super safe and getting into the peninsula is a bit hilly for me to get to work not soaked in sweat. I use my car to get out of the city pretty often, every week and of course bring pets around. I could do without come fall when I’m less likely to go out for adventures but curious to hear of other peoples experiences living car free. Seriously considering a motored tri-bike or a golf cart…. Not sure if I would feel safe riding a scooter in winter..

Nope, not some silly request for a projector which can deliver outdoor projection.
Yesterday (May 30), late Spring, I went outside with my 5,000 lumen Panasonic projector and threw an image up, in the shade, on the side of my white garage door. Not a screen, but similar properties to what a outdoor screen would deliver. I started at about 40"-50" diagonal, and went up to about 100" diagonal. The results were exactly as I expected.
I did three different tests, and I'm not sure how many people have seen this or understand the differences that even a little bit of time can make.
This first video was shot at 6:30 in the late day. Sun about fifteen or twenty degrees above the horizon. Sun was behind my house, so the garage door is in full shade, only lit by the blue sky above. This is the most obvious example of how the internet will steer you wrong with their LIES that a 3,000-5,000 lumen projector can work in direct sunlight. Truth: 5,000 lumens does not have enough brightness for a 40" diagonal image in complete shade outdoors on a sunny day. FULL STOP! 5,000 Lumen Projector In Use Outside In The Shade Before Sunset - YouTube
Next we have 8:15 in the evening. After sunset, but before dark. The improvement is quite real, but the image is still nearly unusable despite the brightness of the projector... 5,000 Lumen Projector In Use Outdoors Just After Sunset In The Evening - YouTube
Then 45 minutes later at 9:00. Just after the sun is really gone and the sky has grown dark. 5,000 Lumen Projector After Dark Outdoors - YouTube
At some point I will get a bit more into video editing and put them all together.
I also likely will start a sequence at about 7:30 and run it to 9:30 and just run a movie for the entire time, and video the entire time. Then fast forward the video to show how two hours makes all the difference in the world. But, hopefully these three two minute clips help others to understand things.
If there is a time/location people would like to have added, please let me know. I may pull a screen (Silver Ticket) into my garage and film that as well in a semi-enclosed setup with the garage door open so people can see what that looks like.

My cousin has started a grocery business in UK and wants to import goods from India.
Are there any experienced exporters or can you point me to some agency which can help in logistics and customs clearance.
It is mostly groceries and vegetable oils

This may end up Not being a Destiny 2 issue but I thought I would start here. I am constantly (about every 3-5 minutes) getting the “Contacting Destiny 2 Servers” message and frequently lose connection and therefore get booted from activities both pvp & pve. Here are some details for context. I play on XBox One probably 6-8 years old. Wired connection to my Wi-Fi router. Internet connection is generally reliable- no issues on other devices. I’ve rebooted Xbox and Wi-Fi probably a hundred times. NAT type is OPEN. The console tells me my connectivity is good. I’ve been playing some BF2042 and it happens occasionally there too but not nearly as often as D2. Any ideas what causes this so frequently?

So I bought the Ultimate Edition of the game, which is set to unlock tonight at 7pm EST. But the store still shows the release date of 6/05/23 instead. Anybody on the same boat or just me?

Check this out for Emma Mattress Near Me Coupons & Promo Codes. Find the best deals for you by looking at the current promo codes and coupons on that page. You'll always find the newest coupons, promo codes, and deals on that page. Choose one to apply to your order and save money.

I am looking to reenter AA and I’m hoping to find a well-attended meeting. Many years ago when I still lived in the crowded suburban state I grew up in, I found it helpful when I was starting, to be a be able to sit in the back and not have attention paid to me for a few meetings while I got comfortable. Every time I attempt a meeting in northern Vermont I pull up and there are 3-5 cars- anybody know of a bigger maybe slightly more popular mtg near Orleans county?

Many of use with consumer QNAP devices know that QNAP never posts BIOS updates for our devices. However, there are BIOS updates available as I have been able to get one a few years ago to fix a security vulnerability.
Now, my NAS is beyond the support window but it still works just fine. I submitted a help desk ticket to QNAP to get the final BIOS update for my NAS just to be sure that it has the best hardware compatibility it can have going forward, should I replace any components myself.
Nearly any other manufacturer of a computer with a BIOS will gladly provide BIOS updates by providing a very simple link you click to update the BIOS update file. Not QNAP. For some damn reason they hold their BIOS updates so close to the chest you'd think you were asking them for their first born child. Not only do I have to actually submit a help desk request, but I also have to provide the device serial number (not relevant), current firmware (not relevant), device model (relevant), reason for the BIOS update request, etc. Then you play the waiting game.
After at least 24 hours, you get a response:

We do not typically provide a BIOS update unless it's for a security reason. What is the current BIOS version you are on, and is there any specific compatibility you are trying to look for?

That's none of your damn business! I'm your customer, I'm simply asking for a BIOS update to a product I purchased from you. Give me the update! Why do you not provide BIOS updates? What possible reason could you have for keeping something from consumers that can improve vulnerability protection to the hardware of the device you sell?
There are many reasons I chose a QNAP to begin with: simplicity, cost effectiveness, compact design, simple expandability, etc.
However, the negatives for QNAP far outweigh the positives: buggy firmware, poor security, poor security user recommendations, bloated user interface, expensive expansion options, and now, being a pain in the ass just to get a BIOS update for my device.
I'll stick with this device for the time being, as I said, it is working fine. But this is my last QNAP device. I will be building my own NAS next time and not dealing with any of the bullshit I get from QNAP.
Why is it like pulling teeth just getting a simple BIOS update from QNAP? Why is this company so difficult to work with when it comes to support issues?

Company Name	Title	City
CE Workforce T-Mobile, Authorized Retailer Neighborhood Stores	Wireless Retail Sales Associate - Alabaster	Alabaster
Glo Tanning	Spa/Tanning Sales Associate - Pelham, URGENT	Alabaster
International Wines & Craft Beer	Case Puller	Alabaster
Verge Mobile – a T-Mobile Premium Partner	T-Mobile Retail Sales Associate - Alabaster	Alabaster
Alabama Title Loans, Inc	Branch Manager: $15.47 - $16.19/hr.	Andalusia
BAE Systems	Facilities Manager - Anniston	Anniston
Pepper, Johnstone & Company	Account Manager	Athens
Ridgeline Construction	Office Assistant/Receptionist	Athens
Two Men And A Truck®	Drivers / Laborer	Auburn
H&H Recruiting	Class A Truck Driver	Auburn
Dental Power	General Dentist	Auburn
Over the Mountain Glass, Inc.	DOT DriveLoader	Bessemer
Mid America Health	Dental Assistant - Bessemer, AL	Bessemer
Curo	Consumer Loan Specialist	Bessemer
Tuff Shed	Sales Design Consultant - Part Time	Bessemer
Alabama Title Loans, Inc	Branch Manager -$16.94 - $17.72/hr	Bessemer
Birmingham Heart Clinic, P.C.	Nuclear Medicine Technologist	Birmingham
Midwest Veterinary Supply, Inc.	Warehouse Manager	Birmingham
ITAC Solutions	Tax Analyst	Birmingham
Palmetto Infusion	Reimbursement Supervisor	Birmingham
SCA Health	RN Operating Room, Pool - Birmingham Outpatient Care Center	Birmingham
Oak Street Health	Behavioral Health Specialist - Licensed Clinical Social Worker	Birmingham
Pathways Nursing and Rehabilitation Center	Travel Cna	Birmingham
Cognizant Technology Solutions	Manager .Net Developer (Remote)	Birmingham
Sprint Mart	Team Member - Sprint Mart #2323	Boaz

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in al. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

I'm 15f and last night I had a humiliating accident where I ended up wetting the bed. I had to change my sheets and my dad heard me open the closet in the hallway to get a clean one and he walked into my room and saw my pajamas in a grocery bag and a wet spot on my sheets.
He started yelling at me and grabbed my head and rubbed my face into the wet spot like a fucking dog. He was shouting that I was in highschool not kindergarten and there's no excuse for me wetting the bed.
I feel humiliated and can't even look him in the eye rn. How can I stop this from ever happening again

27/04/2023

Feedback:

Title: Synchronise the daily reset of the various systems
There is currently a 5 hour gap between event / starlight daily resets and daily tasks. It would be a lot easier to manage everything if everything reset at the same time.

Reply: The reset times for Starlight and the daily missions have been implemented accordingly for quite some time. We are worried that the sudden changes will affect players' experience. Therefore, we will not make relevant changes anytime soon. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: event gifting rules
please bring back the old rules in the events. the rule that the sender doesn't need to own the skin before they can send gifts to other players. just like the moonlit wish event, i dont use hanabi so i don't have any plans acquiring her skin, but I want to send it to a friend. how am I supposed to send her the skin if i don't own it and i don't want to buy it in the first place? that's just unfair

Reply: We have set this restriction solely in lucky draw activities with the event exchange shop. This is mainly due to the presence of gifting with illegal diamonds, which cause property damage to the player's account. We will consider whether there is a better way to protect everyone from infractions due to purchase or use of illegal diamonds. We also recommend that you do not recharge through unofficial channels. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: let us know when limited time event skins are leaving
Chang'e lunar fest skin + fanny and claudes skins are now unable to be purchased. I know they're both lte skins so they would go eventually but they left without any sort of warning. I was planning to get those skins thinking they would stay around until the promo diamonds are usable but not anymore and now and many others who were planning the same thing will have to wait a year. Just let us know maybe even a week beforehand when they're going to leave so we can avoid thinking they'll be here longer than they are planned to be.

Reply: We will consider how to remind players better before the time-limited skin is off the shelf for purchase. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Preferred Hero - Skin Lock
Players should be able to lock a hero of their choice and they can get some offers for a skin of that hero that runs the whole season. Example an Epic Skin with 30% Discount or something of the chosen hero or whatever skin is available for that hero. So that players have a better price for the hero that they want and not under the mercy of whatever the guy managing the store wants.

Reply: There will be a discount event for the whole platform every six months, such as the ALLSTAR event that has just ended. If you have a favorite skin, you may buy it during the discount event. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Buff Aurora and Freeze debuff
Buff Aurora and the freeze status I want you to buff the freeze debuff, currently the freeze is just a version of stun without any difference except the animation. My suggestion is that you change the effects of the frozen status with this : When enemy is frozen its magical and physical defense will be decreased , so basically give a defense decrease to enemies that are frozen to combine with the Ice that make the enemy decay. Also buff Aurora , you could remove her additional damage to give her that defense decrease when she freeze enemies, allowing her control effects to help her damage and also allies to inflict more damage, frozen debuff should be unique. Also my suggestion to Aurora is that you remove her stacking passive and Exchange to give her a time passive. After a few seconds any of Aurora skills will freeze enemies hit, this way she wont be need to waste time and skills to charge her freeze . She will just have to wait her cooldown from passive to be back and she will freeze enemies with her skills instead of stacks to freeze. Because whats the logic for EVERY hero in mobile legends to be able to control the enemy just by using their skills and Aurora has to stack wasting her skills 4 times to be able to control someone? So, simple give her a timed passive so she can freeze or not freeze enemies with her skills So in resume give the freeze debuff a decrease hybrid defense status, and buff Aurora passive with a cooldown to make her more independent of not worrying to stack passive and waste skills to freeze her enemies , that way Aurora gameplay will have a better game experience

Reply: We already have a revamp plan for Aurora, which is expected to be completed in 2024. Please stay tuned.
Feedback:

Title: change the lane of support from gold lane to mid lane or to jungle
supports should not be in gold lane pretty much 270% of the time so please stop teaching new players to go support in gold lane its actually lowering the skill level of players who havent even started the game yet. look at every single high level m5 mpl or any official match and the ammount of supports that started gold was exactly 0. telling new players to go gold as support is like recomending a build for pharsa with all attacks speed items. it nerfs the player and is an advice thats generally considered trolling.

Reply: In the novice phase, there is no issue in educating players that roamers should go to the gold lane. But in mid-to-high-tier matches, the roamer needs to carry more functions. It is no longer suitable to stay in the gold lane all the time. This is the part of the tutorial that we are currently missing. We have plans to provide mid-to-high-tier tutorials and strategies for players who have come out of the novice stage. This can help players to learn gaming knowledge more conveniently and to get a better gaming experience. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Nerf freya too unbalanced
Please nerf freya at least take away the shields she gets. She is impossible to beat 1 v 1 even with argus and gatot. Her second skill was a bad idea. Let me ask yall this were you smoking when u decided to make a 1 skill button champ?

Reply: Freya is a typical early-to-mid-game hero and will be relatively weak in the late game. Freya's overall performance on the battlefield is at a moderate level. We are also observing her balance continuously. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: OPTIMIZED KADITA SPECIAL SKIN EFFECTS
The effects of this skin just look like a elite skin it just a recolor and little sparks it just like that nothing speciali hope you will optimize it

Reply: We have no plans to optimize Kadita's special skin anytime soon. However, we will consider it if there is an opportunity in the future. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Give Painted Skins Different Colours
Can you make painted skins have different colour effects? The colour scheme of the original skin does not match that of the painted one. I find that the colours clash and it feels like the skin is not worth our money.

Reply: Different levels of skin have different production standards. Under the current production standards, not all painted skins will have special effects and color changes. In the post-production of painted skin models, we will consider how to design the painted skin models to match the original special effect color better. If there is a skin case where the color conflicts, you can also give feedback on the specific skin. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Revamps
PLS for the love of god revamp other heroes in need instead of revamping eudora for the 6th time in 2 years update model quality for irithel gatoc aurora and a few more

Reply: We will arrange a reasonable revamp plan by considering various factors comprehensively. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Aurora Revamp
I had the chance to play the game in Ultra graphics recently, I noticed u planned to do a visual revamp for Franco and Eudora, but I think Aurora needs a visual revamp urgently, her basic design look with poor quality compared to many recent heroes.

Reply: We already have a revamp plan for Aurora, which is expected to be completed in 2024. Please stay tuned.
Feedback:

Title: System announcement voice
Please update all system announcement voicelines inside a game to the new voice. Like there are different voices. The old one and the new one for like this new „ok“ button and it would be better if everything had the same voice.. Thank you!

Reply: We will verify this issue first. If there is a problem, we will arrange for an optimization. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Draft screen improvement
ditch the current all blue background; it looks really bad.

Reply: We are currently considering some optimizations to the interface background. However, there will be no changes anytime soon. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: DON'T SWAP THE BUTTON
Sheshhh you swapped the "Play again" and "Quit" button and still ask if the person really wanted to leave. Desperate much for people to play your game again? It just came out as annoying because people need to click twice now to quit. Our muscle memories have been conditioned to press bottom right corner to Quit and it's left to enter a Room. The new button placement screws that up a little and makes it uncomfortable Please make it back as usual,it's really frustrating

Reply: This update is to solve some of the issues that the players have frequently complained about before. Among the problems encountered is that after team players end the game, they will enter a different room after tapping on "Another Round" and need to be invited again. Another problem is that tapping "Another Round" will automatically invite other teammates after solo players finish the game. This update has reorganized the logic of the two buttons, so there will be some changes. However, it is also a chance for players to have a better gaming experience. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Button
Please remove this godforsaken button feature. Or, if you insisted on keeping it, move it somewhere else.

Reply: We are already designing an optimization plan. It is expected to be completed in July. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Update stuff in other game modes
Update the heroes, items and spells in brawl and other game modes. many of heroes, spell and items are still old way

Reply: We will gradually update the equipment and spells in different modes to the latest version. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: Improvements that could be made to Overdrive
RNG makes Overdrive unfair and unfun at times (especially when the game keeps giving you terrible heroes) so these are a few suggestions to make it less unfair and everyone can have fun more often 1. -30% dmg for all mages 2. -10% max HP, def and res for all tanks and select fighters that are tanky 3. Remove Wind of Nature and Winter Truncheon for this mode only 4. More passive Gold and EXP so enemies can't just lock you out from farming

Reply: We will use the data to make reasonable balance adjustments for mages and tank heroes. Thank you for your suggestion.
Feedback:

Title: ImproMages and mm too op
Mages and mms are too op in brawl. They just stay back and blast u to oblivion. Also fleeting time should be removed from brawl. It is too strong on alot of mages like pharsa gord and change. U give fighter damage reduction yet why dont u nerf mages and mm? Its crazy when ur up againts a all range comp or full mage. Does not matter how much magic defence u have ur most likely lose. Its unbalanced. Instead of giving fighter damage reduction why not nerf mms and mage? They deserve a nerf.

Reply: We plan to optimize the gaming experience of melee heroes in Brawl mode. Please stay tuned!
Feedback:

Title: Matchmaking
why are mythical honors teamed up with legends while the enemy there are 3 mythical honors and 2 mythics??? when are you going to fix your matchmaking? players have been complaining about this issue for years.

Reply: We are already optimizing and adjusting some matchmaking strategies for Mythic rank team-ups. It is currently in development and testing stage. Thank you for your suggestion.

Thursday, May 25 - Wednesday, May 31

Dev

score	comments	title & link
13,235	352 comments	What did we do to deserve such an awesome Dev Team?
3,277	358 comments	Decontaminator Pack changes
1,215	54 comments	I GRADUATED HIGHSCHOOL!!!!
410	23 comments	Am I the only one who sees it in the Decontaminator DLC?

 

Discussion

score	comments	title & link
2,831	135 comments	made a comparasion between the old and the new decontaminator dlc pack
2,092	469 comments	This game has unlocked so much gender euphoria I never knew I could experience!!
1,331	108 comments	The game literally tells you where a lobby's host is from. Use that information, people.

 

Ideas

score	comments	title & link
4,606	204 comments	Idea to make mining Gold fast AND fun - "fracture points"!!
125	4 comments	I am once again asking for the first time that we get a voice line for bloopy fruit
65	10 comments	I've made a COMPLETE concept of a rescue---mission based gamemode. Do you think it would it fit into the game?

 

Question

score	comments	title & link
4,116	147 comments	I need this confirmed (found under Warhammer 40k: Darktide)
1,761	114 comments	Im a level 56 but I've never seen anything like this. Any Greybeards know what I'm looking at?
1,014	42 comments	How does this dwarf have scale brigade armour at level 24?

 

Rock & Stone

score	comments	title & link
5,032	93 comments	Bosco, buddy, all I wanted was a rocket, you didn't need the orbital strike the poor thing
3,085	106 comments	I made a thing.
2,747	54 comments	I love critical weakness.

 

Err

score	comments	title & link
3,619	94 comments	I underestimated how jarring this turned out to be
3,573	282 comments	what if...
2,849	91 comments	Not a Korlok, not a Nexus. A living, moving, Lithophage Meteorite!

 

Twitter

score	comments	title & link
207	4 comments	And he does it well!

 

HumoMeme

score	comments	title & link
9,107	159 comments	DRG makes me feel like:
8,475	109 comments	Deep Rock really needs to invest in some better equip-! dies
7,052	60 comments	They are such drama queens.

 

Modded Gameplay

score	comments	title & link
601	48 comments	sandbox fun
142	26 comments	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
49	5 comments	The weapons in spawn mod is the best mod ever made

 

Board game

score	comments	title & link
69	3 comments	As the driller, the scout having the satchel charge scares me
6	4 comments	Movement Rules Clarification
6	2 comments	Mood Publishing have gone radio silent on UK backers (board game)

 

OC

score	comments	title & link
6,154	211 comments	O.Dwarf.S.T.
3,596	66 comments	gender
3,424	97 comments	New world record. All barrels in launch tube. 1 minute 12.9 seconds

 

Weapon Build

score	comments	title & link
109	11 comments	i got the funny
43	8 comments	I can't get enough of Hyper Propellant
5	6 comments	Help with RJ250 (Engineer rocket jump) build

 

Other Posts

score	comments	title & link
6,654	161 comments	Our Driller arrived inside the heartstone so Doretta had to drill him out
5,637	262 comments	Cheers for Season 4!
5,199	50 comments	[MINER MEME] leaf lover scary
4,993	290 comments	Ew, gross leak
4,805	309 comments	Water, because i am a minor miner

 

Top Comments

score	comment
2,643	Ser_Pounce_theFrench said It's partially true. Deep Rock Galactic was indeed founded by 5 people, quickly joined by their actual CEO (so there was originally 5 person but the real number of founders is 6). And it was...
2,152	DoktahDoktah said We finally sealed him away and you broke the seal?!
2,018	Snoo61755 said GSG Reaction to the promotion bug resetting the weekly core event: "Hey, you know what, this bug was well received, so we're reincorporating it as a feature." GSG Reaction to double jump being remov...
1,802	TheyHungre said What's your gender? Dwarve. What's in your pants? Extra Magazines. Who's your type? Team Players. When You Rock And Stone, You're Never Alone!
1,617	RaynSideways said Wow. I don't think I've ever heard of this happening. Devs announce a cosmetic pack, and hearing less than positive feedback for it, they decide to go back and tweak it to make it better before it's e...

 

Awarded Posts

score/comments	awards	title & link
1,771 - 81 comments	1 I'd Like to Thank..., 1 Plus One	[OC - I made this! :molly:] Some old concept art/suggestions I made back when DRG was a baby.
1,183 - 23 comments	1 Bravo Grande!	[Humor] Im new, is this the right subreddit?
288 - 49 comments	1 Wholesome	[Off Topic] DRG just makes me happy
2,036 - 46 comments	1 Starstruck	[Humor] Boomers trying to set up a wifi router:
3,201 - 19 comments	1 Narwhal Salute	[MINER MEME] Orders from Wonka: stop dancing and get to it!

 

Awarded Comments

awards	score	comment
1 Gold	638	Drakith89 said Quick tip: When using the laser pointer hit your "Use" key and it will set a permanent marker visible only to you. With proper use you can learn to dig into walls, up, and into the ceiling above the f...
1 Take My Energy	298	Soft-External1533 said Well miners, it looks like some enterprising green beard opened a portal to hell using error cubes. Good news is, R&D have found some new valuable minerals on the other side. Bad news is, the locals a...