Blitzo x stolas

EDIT: This is just a fun theory that if time moved differently in hell and earth. I don’t know and have no way of guessing if earth and hell’s time passage is different or not, but if it does, this is my theory of how.
I think I figured out how time moves in Hell relative to earth in Helluva Boss.
I did this by using real world history, what we know about the characters, and math. For this experiment, I will be estimating and rounding most numbers, earth will be set in 2023 because it looks to be modern day, and the in universe time that has past is 6 months - 1 year because that’s commonly agreed upon.
I started with Stolas because we know/can safely assume lots about his age and when things happened in his life. As well as he has a real world counterpart that we can infer from. Let’s take S2E1, I’m going to say he’s 11 in the flashbacks. He looks and sounds still quite young, but he is deemed responsible enough to learn about the grimore and fulfil his role. Most people tend to say 10-12 anyway, plus 11 is a prime number, also half of an angel number. I’d imagine that age would have some importance to spiritual beings. Using the 25 year timeskip card (which leads us to right before the start of the show), he would be 36 there, about 37 now.
The real world “Lesser Key of Solomon” was introduced somewhere in the 1600s, sharing texts that are estimated to be centuries older. For simplicity we will say Stolas perfected his craft, and humans took the time to notice him and study him around 1000 A.D. We can assume he’s about 18 at this time, when he would rise to the thrown and fully take on his duties. Which means Stolas has grown 19 years since then.
2023 - 1000 = 1023
1023 / 19 = 54 (53.8)
Look at that! We’ve already figured out how many Earth years is in 1 Hell year. No wonder Hell is overpopulated. But let’s see if our math checks out, let’s figure out when Stolas was born using Stolas’ current age.
54 x 37 = 1998
2023 - 1998 = 25
So Stolas was born in 25 A.D, let’s see if this checks out:
1000 - 25 = 975
975 / 54 = 18
Yes it does! We now know that Stolas is 1998 Earth years currently.
So for a final fact check, let’s see if our timeline lines up with another character, Octavia. Octavia is 17 in current canon, however it is stated in S2E1 that she is turning 18 over the year, so for the sake of argument she will be 18 in the math. Using this information, let’s see if it fits in the formula we’ve created.
18 x 54 = 972 (Octavia was born 1051 A.D.)
1998 (Stolas’ Earth Age) - 972 = 1026 (Age Difference)
1026 / 54 = 19
37 (Stolas’ Hell Age) - 19 = 18
This also lines up with when Stolas supposedly had Octavia. Most sources say late teens-early 20s. Lots of sources specifically say 19 or 20 years old.
975 (Stolas’ Age at 18 in Hell) + 54 = 1029
1029 / 54 = 19
And we already figured out Octavia was born in 1051 A.D.
1029 + 54 = 1083
Octavia’s birth year definitely fits in those 54 years Stolas is 19.
So I ended up creating a mathematical formula to figure out every characters age and birth years on earth by figuring out 1 year in Hell is equal to about 54 Earth years. Try this with other characters, it works and it’s fun!

I was rewatching some recent episodes of Helluva boss and a thought was suddenly sinking in me when i was rewatching Exes and Oohs (S2, Ep3). When Moxie started to talk about his past relationship with Chaz, he mentioned it was 84 years ago which hearing it before, my reaction was "ah yeah that makes sense since he's an imp and they don't really follow the same life span as a human". But then I also rewatched S2 Ep 1 where stolas and blitzo being children and having fun, then it suddenly cuts to 25 years later where they are ADULTS. Does that mean that moxie is older than Blitzo by A LOT or moxie was just exaggerating about "how long ago" it was?
I always had a head cannon of Blitzo being older than both moxie and millie but it's just a HC. I think some people might agree with me here as the first thing i did was research their ages and the results ( i know they aren't canon or if it is then i have no clue) are exactly what my head canon is.
Edit: thank you for the answers comments! :> i now know their true ages and that the 84 years ago was a joke :>
Edit 2: I was afraid looking through the some of the more recent comments because of how back handed they are. I was just asking a genuine question because I don't watch any other videos regarding helluva boss besides the actual episodes so i don't know their actual ages or their life span. I researched a bit with their ages when i rewatched some of the episodes and asked here just to be sure and have a civilized discussion if i had any more questions, but i was just met with judgement. I was afraid this might happen because.... that's just the internet, but still, some sounded very full of themselves. English is also not my first language!

And it would have benefitted Loona, too, since it would give her a more active role in I.M.P. beyond just secretary duties and opening and closing the portal to Earth via Stolas' grimoire, while still keeping said grimoire in Hell, at their office where it's safe. That is, she watches over her father and his two teammates at the safety and comfort of their office, and provides mission intel to the rest of the team. And since Loona has no hacking or computer experience, I'd assume she'd use Stolas' grimoire to cast various attack and healing spells as her only other alternative, as well as additional mission control support for Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie while they're assassinating humans on Earth.
What do you think? Do you think that I.M.P. will eventually afford a mission control room, and probably have Loona use it to play a more active role for them, without putting herself in danger in much of the same way as them during their numerous assassination missions?

Stolas totally deserves to be in a loving, supportive throuple with Moxxie and Mille. It would honestly be so sweet and adorable. Just a big birb and his tiny imps.
(even if Blitzo is 100% gonna be spying on this from the window like a creeper)

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I've seen many people say that Stolas cheating on Stella is justified because they are in an arranged marriage where Stolas was oppressed and that Stella's abuse is way worse and while I agree that Stella is an evil character I want to make you think of their situation from a different point of view.
Octavia. I've realized that I relate to Octavia a little because of her family life. She has had to listen to every argument that her parents had and used music as an escape. I don't think many people realize the impact that Stolas' infidelity has had on her life. It has caused her trauma that can be seen on Loo Loo Land when she asks her father if he was going to leave her and run away with Blitzo. Stolas has actively talked about his and Blitzo's relationship in front of Octavia and I know that hearing that from a parent you trust can hurt. (I can't say this is how Octavia feels.)
Yes, Stella is emotionally and mentally abusive, she may have physically abused Stolas but that doesn't justify Stolas' behavior. I don't know if Stella was also abusive towards Octavia (I don't remember anything like that being said but I may be wrong) but I just want to say that seeing a loving parent that you think you can trust be wrong and do bad things could also have an big impact on someone's life.

When he's explaining to Stella how she'd get nothing if Stolas died, he looked slightly surprised to remember that it would go to Octavia, not only that, but he calls her Via. The only other person who calls her that us her dad (and Blitzo that one time).

I know were obviously lead to believe that Stolas’s feelings for Blitzo are reciprocated, but is it ever actually said anywhere or displayed that thats the case? What if Blitzo never actually liked Stolas? All he wanted was the Grimoire, and the whole “but he’s protective of him” can be countered by the fact he obviously needs Stolas alive to access the Grimoire. Maybe I’m missing something, but has anyone else considered this?

This is one major plot hole that i've never seen anyone address. You know how in the new episode, Blitzo sees Stolas hurt and is SURPRISED by this?
This is contradictory, Blitzo KNOWS Stolas can be killed/hurt because why else would he try to kill Striker in Season 1 Episode 5 when he was trying to assassinate Stolas? He knows full well how angelic weapons can kill since he states how he doesn't appreciate somebody he just tried to offer a job to trying to kill his boss, and yet is shocked at the prospect of him being hurt in the newest episode.
This would be understandable if this was outta nowhere, but he knew that Stolas was KIDNAPPED BY STRIKER! Who may I remind you is the only demon in the show shown to have access to angelic weapons.
Can someone explain this to me?

I've seen a lot of discussion on whether or not Stella's character was retconned or if she was always intended to be as cartoonishly evil as she is shown to be in the latest episodes. Rather than arguing about if this was always the plan, however, I'd rather discuss if taking her character this direction makes the show better or worse. In my opinion, I think that having Stella as this cartoonishly evil villain ultimately makes the show worse and takes most of the interesting nuance away from this situation, mainly because it makes Stolas's character look way too perfect and innocent in this situation. In season one, Stolas was portrayed as somewhat of an annoyance to Blitzo, as someone he just puts up with to get things out of. He was also abusing his power with the book to get Blitzo to sleep with him. Also, we as the audience felt like there was more moral nuance to the situation between Stella and Stolas, since even though Stella did something wrong by hiring an assassin to kill him, Stolas also did something wrong by cheating on her in the first place. Obviously this doesn't justify killing him, but it at least gave her a motive that makes sense. At lot of the original appeal of this show was seeing bad people do bad things to each other. Even though we love our main characters, they are all technically killers. Even though we like Stolas, he was still abusing his power with Blitzo. Even though we like Blitzo, we understood that he was manipulating Stolas just to get something out of him. Even Striker had more nuance, since we get glimpses of his thoughts about being oppressed in society. But season 2 episode 1 changed all that. Now that we know that Stella is this cartoonishly evil villian with no redeeming qualities, it makes Stolas seem way too perfect and innocent. Now, instead of a man who is technically doing something wrong by cheating on his wife, he's a perfectly innocent victim who actually did the right thing by cheating. A lot of the appeal of the Stolas and Blitzo relationship was that there were elements of it that were morally wrong. It was more fun to watch that way. But now, they seem too much like perfect innocent angels next to the big, bad, mean Stella. When people bring up criticisms of the direction of Stella's character, I get annoyed that there are always plenty of comments such as "You're just mad because Stella's character didn't fit into your head-cannon." But I think these comments miss the point. Stella being cartoonishly evil makes the show worse, and takes away the interesting moral nuance that the show once had, making the characters look two-dimensional.

Stolas - Cheating on his wife, for reasons that are justified although they dont make him right
Blitzo - Partakes in the affair, whether for the book or genuine feelings, he is involved with it, as well as being a jerk too his coworkers
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Just because theyve been through a lot doesn't excuse the fact they are horrible people, I guarantee you, they're gonna make us feel bad for striker.

Maybe because I did not have the years worth of time during episode production, or maybe i’m just oblivious, but I keep getting shocked to find out there are characters with names i have not heard, stories and entire plot points I didn’t catch, and I feel slightly ashamed as a fan (not that anyone is gatekeeping).
For example, I didn’t know Stolas’s dad’s name was Paimon, I didn’t catch that Fizarolli was Blitzo’s childhood friend from the circus (thought he was just some random circus kid), and I recently watched a YT video on “How Blitzo Got His Scar” and “Ranking Helluva Boss Characters By Trauma,” where it is said that Fizzarolli got “fucked by life,” drawing attention the the fact that he used to have biological limbs and now has robotic ones.
I’ve been called oblivious all of my life, but this is embarassing :/

.Millie low-key likes the idea of blitzo joining her and Moxxie .loona is terrified of needles cause she overdosed at one point. .Millie's dad actually likes moxxie but is too stubborn to admit it. .Moxxie will be the one to kill crimson. .loona is actually insecure about her weight so she projects on too moxxie . Blitzo does love stolas he is just so broken he doesn't know how to love anymore